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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad that you're here and I 
hope you're doing well. 

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Today, we're going to Dive Right
In to our topic. 

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There are three skills that I 
think it's important to have in 

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your tool kit. 
No matter where you are in the 

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organization, whether you 
officially manage people or not,

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these are skills that you can 
use to make your It's better to 

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make your relationships better 
and to get more of what you 

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want. 
However, you define that. 

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So, the three skills are talking
about today, are the skill of 

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advocacy, which is the skill of 
speaking up on behalf of someone

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might be on behalf of yourself 
or your team, or your customer 

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or client, the skill of advocacy
speaking up on behalf of someone

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Number two, the skill of 
feedback and this becomes really

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important when we are officially
managing people, because that's 

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often built in to the job 
requirement, that you give 

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performance feedback, but there 
are lots of others times when 

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you will find it useful, or even
just really important to give 

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feedback to someone whether they
report to you or not, maybe 

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you're giving feedback to your 
manager, as part of the way that

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you manage up. 
Maybe you're giving feedback to 

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a client as part of managing 
that client relationship or 

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feedback. 
To someone you work with 

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cross-functionally as a way of 
establishing. 

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How can we work effectively 
together? 

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So the skill of giving feedback 
and number three, the skill of 

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boundaries and I'm speaking 
especially about boundaries as 

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an agreement, you make with 
yourself. 

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And what I have seen and also 
experienced in my own life is 

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that often we come to the 
learning of boundaries when we 

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feel that our boundaries have 
been violated when someone does 

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something or says something to 
us. 

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That feels maybe not okay or 
disrespectful or injurious and 

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we think, wow! 
What is that? 

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Feel so bad? 
And we realized, oh my gosh, I 

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feel like they just totally 
walked all over me. 

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I feel they really, you know, 
ignored or disregarded me or 

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they really treated me badly and
that's what happened here is 

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like there was a boundary 
violation but what I want us to 

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focus on is first like what is 
the agreement you have with 

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yourself about what you need 
about how you want people to 

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treat you about what your 
working hours and expectations 

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are because when you have 
clarity about Out what that is 

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for you, it makes everything 
else a lot easier. 

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So that's the angle that we're 
going to look at today. 

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Now the reason I'm talking about
these three topics together is 

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because they are connected 
through one specific question. 

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And the question is, what do you
want? 

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And when you start to answer 
this question for yourself, what

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is it that I want? 
Then you have a few different 

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ways to go about making That 
happen. 

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So if what you want is, you 
know, more time for something, 

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maybe that's an advocacy issue, 
you need to advocate for a 

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change in schedule or you need 
to Advocate to have additional 

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Staffing to free, you up to do 
this other thing, they could 

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also be advocating for summer 
hours. 

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A lot of organizations have been
experimenting with different 

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ways of doing hours in the 
summer. 

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As they realize You know, people
are still burned out and it 

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actually is more cost effective 
and helpful for retention and 

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hiring when we do some kind of 
reduced or, you know, different 

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arrangement for summer. 
So it might be advocating for 

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that. 
I also see a lot of folks 

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advocating for professional 
development. 

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Maybe there's a course you want 
to take or a coach you want to 

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work with or a conference you 
want to attend. 

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But asking speaking up on behalf
of your own learning development

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and growth is Place I see 
obvious advocacy, come up when 

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you get clear about what you 
want. 

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Sometimes the skill you'll reach
for, is the skill of feedback 

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that could look like giving 
feedback to your manager and 

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saying, hey, you know, are you 
open to some feedback about the 

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way we've been doing our 
one-on-ones? 

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I have an idea that I think 
might be good to try out. 

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And what do you think about 
that? 

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Right? 
So you can use feedback as a way

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of opening a conversation. 
Ian to get more of what you want

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when you're thinking about the 
people that report to you, what 

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you want, might be something 
related to their performance or 

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two like a quality of work or to
a certain Behavior. 

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There might be something that 
you want to see change as a 

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result of giving that feedback. 
And this is important to be 

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clear about because the mistake 
we can make is I'm just going to

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give comprehensive feedback. 
Which starts to feel number one,

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overwhelming number two, like a 
criticism dump. 

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And number three, people can get
lost in general or comprehensive

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feedback because they don't know
what you actually want. 

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And the more you can be precise 
and intentional. 

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I'm giving you the specific 
feedback because this is what I 

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want, right? 
It makes it a lot more 

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effective. 
It's not just around correcting 

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Behavior but you might have 
someone on your team who's 

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expressed to you their ambition 
and desire for their 

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professional growth. 
So if you have someone and let's

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say they want to start 
presenting to stakeholders or 

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they want to start leading more 
of certain meetings or 

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presentations. 
You might give them feedback 

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related to that skill set so 
they know how to continue to 

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improve. 
You might even give them 

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feedback around. 
Here's what I see you doing 

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really well. 
Well I want to make sure you 

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understand that you're doing 
that really well because if you 

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don't know that you're doing it 
really well then you will 

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disregard it over. 
Look it you won't know that 

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that's a quality in a skill and 
a strength you possess and that 

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it's valuable and then we get to
boundaries. 

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So when you're thinking about 
what is it that you want, 

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sometimes that's a boundary 
skill. 

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If what you want is more time 
for other things, whether it's 

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other work things or It's more 
personal life things. 

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Maybe what you need to do is 
start to create some agreements 

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about, you know, your own work, 
patterns and habits. 

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I see this a lot as you start to
shift into management roles 

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because now you're having to ask
questions about what you 

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delegate about, how much you 
take on yourself about the 

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balance between, are you giving 
yourself time to do strategic 

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thinking, or are you only We in 
tactical execution mode, and 

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that can be a hard transition to
make, because it can feel really

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satisfying to take things off 
the box, which we do when we're 

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in that tactical execution mode.
And sometimes, that time to 

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pause and look up at the forest 
and do more of that strategic 

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thinking, can feel less 
satisfying, because you don't 

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have that sense of, oh, I've 
done it right? 

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Like, it's It can feel a little 
bit open-ended and, you know, it

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can also feel good to do their 
urgent things that are, you 

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know, that the messages in the 
inbox or the messages in the 

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slack channels. 
And then we step away from that.

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Really valuable, but non-urgent 
strategic thinking strategic 

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planning mode. 
So when you are going through 

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your day, going through the 
week, notice Like what is it 

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that you want and the more clear
you can be with that the better,

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although, to be honest with you,
sometimes you won't know exactly

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what that is. 
But when you know what you want 

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then you can start to ask how 
might I get this? 

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How about I create this? 
Do I need to Advocate? 

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Do I need to speak up on behalf 
of myself or my team to need to 

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ask for something and make a 
case? 

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For why we should receive this 
resource? 

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Do I need to give feedback to 
someone? 

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Do I need to establish? 
Boundary. 

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Do I need to clarify an 
agreement with myself? 

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And once you consider all of 
those options, I want to offer 

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one more which is the 
possibility is what you want 

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available to you in your current
environment. 

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It's like if what you really 
want is an avocado and you're in

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an apple orchard and you're 
surrounded by the most 

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beautiful, delicious apples and 
you go from tree to tree, 

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looking for an avocado because 
what you really want is an 

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avocado, you can try really 
hard. 

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You're not going to get an 
avocado off of that apple tree. 

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It doesn't matter how smart you 
are. 

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It doesn't matter how good of a 
person you are, it doesn't 

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matter how long you've been 
there. 

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How much time you've invested in
that apple orchard, it will not 

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deliver an avocado to you. 
And so you have a couple of 

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options you can either. 
Decide, I'm going to plant an 

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avocado tree in this apple 
orchard or you can say you know 

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what I have learned so much and 
I have really enjoyed being in 

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this apple orchard and now I'm 
going to take myself into an 

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avocado Orchard or into a place 
where there are avocados because

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that is what I want next. 
And I think, sometimes what 

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happens is we get this sense of 
loyalty or the sense of if I try

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hard enough, I can make this 
better, or I can make this 

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happen and that is not always 
the case. 

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Sometimes it's really useful to 
just notice, okay, here's what I

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want. 
I am not seeing that available 

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here and so it might be time to 
leave. 

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It might be time to go someplace
out, not to go some place next 

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to go someplace else so I can 
have this next thing that I want

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to try or this next thing that I
want to make. 

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So each of these are skills, 
they all require knowing what 

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you want speaking up. 
And this is where we as humans 

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if we feel uncomfortable or 
Nervous speaking up will tend to

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just silence ourselves hold back
grin and Barrett absorb the 

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discomfort and the danger with 
that. 

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Is it ends up draining us, it 
gets exhausting, it builds up 

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resentment and then passive 
aggressive behavior can also 

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start to creep in. 
So the more honest you can be 

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about what you want without any 
judgment about it just yeah 

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here's what I want and then 
start to Think Through how could

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I advocate for this? 
How could I offer feedback to 

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someone that might, you know, 
facilitate me getting this or do

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I need to re-establish, or 
create some kind of boundary in 

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order to make that possible. 
That is what I wanted to offer 

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to you today. 
Thank you so much for being here

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for listening along and I will 
see you next time if you know, 

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it's time to level up, but you 
feel your perfectionism. 

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And Self Doubt and uncertainty 
getting in the way then come 

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work with me. 
We'll have six months of 

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one-on-one coaching and it all 
starts by going to my website, 

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chemicalguys.com coaching and 
joining my waitlist talk to you 

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soon.