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Welcome to the New Manager 
Podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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I want to start today's episode 
with a shout out to you my 

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listeners. 
And especially I'm seeing an 

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uptick in the number of 
listeners from Canada. 

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So hello to my listeners in 
Canada. 

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If you are new, welcome. 
And here's a fun fact is I get 

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to see a little bit of where you
all are. 

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It doesn't give me very granular
data and I think it only tracks 

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it for my Spotify listeners 
because of the way that this 

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show is published. 
So I think I'm not able to see 

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how it is for my Apple podcast 
listeners, but here's some fun 

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things that I have learned about
my listening audience, including

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you. 
So one is that of my listeners 

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in Canada, most of you are in 
Ontario, followed by Quebec, 

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British Columbia and Alberta. 
I love that. 

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I love the range. 
I love knowing that you're here 

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and listening in the US, which 
is currently my largest 

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audience. 
No surprise since I'm based 

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here. 
So a lot of folks that I know 

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are also in the US But fun fact,
the top four states in the US 

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where my listeners are are 
California, followed by Texas 

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and then New York and Florida. 
Isn't that cool? 

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What a broad range. 
And then I also see a little 

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bit, I know from my listeners in
the UK, Hello to all of you. 

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The most number of my listeners 
in the UK are in England, 

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followed by Scotland and Wales. 
So shout out and hello to all of

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you. 
And I know that I also have 

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listeners in other countries as 
well. 

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So you know I'm, I'm including 
you also in in the Wave and in 

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the Hello. 
And one of the reasons I really 

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like that and why it seems it 
feels so meaningful to me is 

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because I really think about the
challenges that we have in the 

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workplace when we are managing 
people, when we are stepping up 

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into new levels of leadership 
and thinking about how do I do 

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this effectively and how do I do
this in a way that feels good. 

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You know, not just for, you 
know, for you as the person, but

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also the sense of can I make our
work experience something that 

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people want to be a part of. 
And what I love about this is, 

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you know, that's kind of my 
philosophy and how I think about

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this show and and why I really 
like having these conversations 

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that I can share with you. 
But I feel like it really points

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to how universal so many of 
these challenges are, because 

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they're about humans and they're
about relationships. 

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So on one level, it doesn't 
really matter where in the world

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you are. 
You will encounter some very 

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familiar and common and 
universal dynamics and 

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challenges when it comes to 
effectively working with, 

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managing and leading the other 
humans that you work with. 

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I love that because that also 
means that we can then learn 

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from so many different areas of 
life and of the world. 

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We can learn and gain insight 
and perspective from all over, 

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not just in your organization, 
not just in your town or your 

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country or even in your 
industry. 

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There are things that you can 
learn by looking to other 

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industries, other places, other 
kinds of organizations that can 

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help how you think about what it
means to, you know, be a human 

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centered leader and to manage 
effectively. 

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And that includes working in a 
way that is sustainable for you.

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So while many of the specific 
individual challenges can 

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sometimes feel very isolating, 
the big picture is that, you 

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know, we're all asking very 
similar questions no matter 

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where you are in the world and 
no matter what industry you're 

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in. 
It's been really interesting for

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me since I started this podcast.
The very first episodes were 

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released, I think back in late 
2019, and at the time I was 

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working primarily in California 
and teaching in person. 

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So I was teaching people who 
were also in California. 

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And one of the things I've 
really loved is that over the 

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years I've had the opportunity 
to talk with and meet so many 

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other folks because of this 
podcast that have reached out to

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me for one-on-one coaching or 
that have reached out to me to 

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tell me how the podcast has 
helped them. 

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And it's really illuminated how 
much the challenges that will 

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arise are not specific to where 
you are, the industry you work 

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in or even the size of the 
organization. 

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If you work in a very small 
agency or a very small company 

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or you work in a very global 
enterprise, Oregon, a very large

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organization, it's so 
fascinating how some of the 

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challenges are still the same. 
They might take a slightly 

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different shape. 
You might have different 

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resources or you might have 
different ways that your, you 

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know, organization is organized.
But when it comes to how do we 

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work together as humans and how 
do we do that? 

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Well, it truly is a very common 
connection that we all have. 

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So I thought that was pretty 
cool. 

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I wanted to share that thought 
with you too. 

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Now, the main thing I want to 
talk with you today is this 

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framework that I have been using
more in my coaching practice and

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I've been seeing some really 
great results with my clients 

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and so I wanted to share this 
with you. 

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This is the kind of thing I love
to teach because it's it's very 

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lightweight, meaning it's a 
simple framework. 

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It's something that doesn't take
a lot of thought to understand. 

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It's very easy to understand. 
It's a very simple framework and

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it is very effective, very 
quickly. 

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Which is great, right? 
Because we want to equip you 

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with things you can use when you
walk into the office next, and 

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that will help you immediately. 
You know, when I first started 

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teaching essential skills for 
new managers, the class was only

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an hour and a half, and 
sometimes people would leave 

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work, come to class and then go 
back to work. 

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And so my goal was what can I 
teach you in 90 minutes? 

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That you will be able to walk 
back into the office at the end 

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of this class and use this in a 
way that makes a measurable and 

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real positive difference for 
you. 

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That was that was my thinking of
how I was trying to design that 

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class. 
And so today I have something 

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for you that would definitely 
meet that standard if we were 

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all in the room together and I 
was going to teach you 

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something. 
This is the thing I want to 

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teach you. 
So you're going to want to use 

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this. 
This is a framework. 

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It's going to basically become a
sentence structure and you will 

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use it when you are feeling 
frustrated, overwhelmed, 

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stressed out, anxious, like 
anytime you're starting to feel 

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somewhat overcome or just like 
very activated and you kind of 

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don't know what to do with it. 
And it goes like this even 

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though and then you say whatever
is true or whatever is happening

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for you even though and then you
add it's possible that or I know

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that or I'm committed to or it's
also true that. 

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So let me give you an example. 
I had a a couple of coaching 

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conversations around schedules 
in the last couple of weeks. 

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There's a lot of stuff happening
on people's schedules. 

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And so I had a client who is 
sharing how she was feeling 

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really guilty. 
And whatever she chose to spend 

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her time on, she felt guilty 
like she wasn't spending enough 

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time on the other thing. 
And so she felt really trapped 

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in this guilt place because she 
could only put so many things on

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her calendar. 
So the way that we addressed 

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that, like one of the places we 
started was with this framework.

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And she said, even though I 
can't do everything I want to, 

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you know, in this day, I know 
that I'm choosing to focus my 

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attention on these things For 
these reasons. 

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And what this does, when you 
take this framework and you 

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apply it into your life, is that
the first part of it? 

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Even though that allows you to 
truly acknowledge and accept how

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you're feeling or what is going 
on, right? 

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So it might be even though the 
budget is not established, or 

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even though there's lots of 
uncertainty around whether we 

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will have this budget or not by 
the state, You name it, you face

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it, you accept it, you 
acknowledge it. 

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Even though this is so, it's 
possible that fill in the blank.

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I'm committed to fill in the 
blank. 

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And So what this does is it 
allows you to really turn to and

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face a thing that feels really 
true and perhaps unchangeable or

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impenetrable, like a tangled 
knot that you can't find a way 

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to untangle. 
Yet. 

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All we do first is we face it, 
we acknowledge it, and we name 

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it. 
That allows us to soften a 

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little bit. 
Instead of feeling like we have 

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to armor up and like go in and 
try to change it and wrestle it 

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to the ground and try to make it
different, we just turn to it 

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and say, wow, even though I'm 
feeling this or even though this

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is happening right now, the next
part, it's possible or I know 

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that, or I'm committed to, or 
it's also true that then becomes

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the bridge that directs your 
thinking in the direction that 

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will help you through that stuck
point. 

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And the reason this matters is 
because what we often tend to do

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when things get really hard is 
we either become completely 

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consumed by the challenge of it 
and that can really sink our 

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energy and we can feel stuck and
really mired in like an 

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unsolvable problem or an 
overwhelming challenge. 

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And it feels terrible. 
And we might even try to resist 

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it or just think, if I if I only
work harder, maybe I can, you 

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know, somehow find a way through
this. 

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But it softens that when we 
simply acknowledge, like even 

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though this is true, or even 
though this is how I'm feeling 

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or even though this is what's 
happening right now. 

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We soften when we acknowledge 
and accept it, and then we help 

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guide our thinking by building 
this bridge of what else is also

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possible or what else do you 
know, Where else do you have 

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certainty? 
And that will both create a 

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sense of grounding in something 
that feels true and that feels 

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good and that feels supportive. 
And it will point you to, you 

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know, there, there might be 
something that is helpful even 

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even still, even though, right? 
So use this, Think about this. 

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Think of a sticky problem or a 
sticky situation that you're 

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facing, or even just an emotion.
Like, you might just feel kind 

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of, you know, kind of crispy, 
like a little bit near the edge 

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of burnout. 
You might be feeling really 

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fatigued or just emotionally 
drained for, you know, something

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that's happening in your life or
something that's happening in 

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the world that is having an 
effect on you. 

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So you might say to yourself, 
even though I'm feeling so 

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exhausted, I know that I am 
committed to doing the best I 

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can with the resources that I 
have. 

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Or it might be, even though I'm 
feeling a little burned out. 

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It's also true that I can make 
some plans and changes that will

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help me down the line. 
It's also possible that maybe 

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I'm I need to learn how to get 
better at my boundaries, right? 

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Like, it helps us to expand our 
perspective. 

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So we're seeing not just the 
problem that feels really sticky

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and unsolvable, but it's helping
us to see beyond that. 

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And that will help us to feel 
more resourced, to feel more 

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supported, to feel more 
connected, to feel less alone. 

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And all of that is such a better
place to be when you're trying 

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to address something difficult 
or when you're trying to find a 

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path through something that 
might feel kind of scary or 

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uncertain. 
So that's the framework even 

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though and then you say the 
thing that seems true or that is

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just happening and then the 
second part of that framework, 

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it's possible or I also know 
that or I am committed to or you

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know, it's also true. 
It allows us to meet life with 

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the. 
Yes. 

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And this is one of the things I 
love about mindfulness and why 

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it's such a part of the way that
I work with folks and it's 

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really informed. 
The way that I teach and see 

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what leadership and management 
in the workplace looks like is 

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that there will be plenty of 
times where there may be 

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something happening that is 
genuinely just draining or 

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extreme or difficult or totally 
like just like not good, right? 

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Like something is happening that
it just feels not good. 

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And we don't want to turn away 
from that. 

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We don't want to ignore it. 
We don't want to just, you know,

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push through. 
We want to actually slow down to

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acknowledge this is the 
experience that we're having. 

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And we also want to expand and 
include a broader perspective, 

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because something that I know 
for sure to be true is that 

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every day of your life there 
will be challenges. 

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And every day of your life, 
there are also going to be 

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things that are going your way. 
There are also going to be 

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things that are going well. 
And I think sometimes it's easy 

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to lose sight of that. 
And part of mindfulness is that 

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skill, that willingness to turn 
and face both, so that we're not

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becoming completely consumed or 
overwhelmed by the challenges 

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and the difficulties and the 
uncertainty. 

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We don't want to get lost in 
that. 

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And we also don't want to ignore
all of that and only try to hold

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onto the things that are going 
well, the things that are going 

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your way, The big wins. 
Like, we don't want to try to 

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cling, to look only upon the 
positive. 

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That's kind of when we drift 
into the realm of, like, denial 

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or toxic positivity. 
Like we're not trying to force a

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particular attitude or posture, 
but instead with mindfulness it 

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allows us to acknowledge and 
kind of hold an expansive view. 

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That includes knowing that even 
when things are difficult, there

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are some things that are still 
going well or that are possible 

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or that are unwritten yet that 
we can influence. 

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And when things are going well, 
we can sometimes learn from that

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what is going well and how can I
use this to also then look to 

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the challenges that I want to 
help change or move through. 

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So my hope is that as you go 
into your work day, as you go 

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into your work week, find 
opportunities to try this on 

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this sentence framework and see 
what happens when you do even 

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though. 
And then you just state and 

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accept and acknowledge the thing
that is happening, and then 

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build a bridge that directs your
attention to a path beyond that 

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challenge. 
What else is possible? 

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What else do you know? 
What else are you committed to? 

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What else might be true? 
Even when you know, even though.

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So try that out again. 
As I mentioned, it's really 

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lightweight. 
Try it. 

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See what happens, and hey, you 
can always let me know. 

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You can find me on LinkedIn. 
If you're not following me 

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00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,880
there, go there. 
If you're not on my e-mail list,

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be sure to do that because I 
will be sending out some news 

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00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:47,120
about the next group program and
I want to make sure that you get

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all that info as soon as it goes
out. 

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And if you would like to work 
with me one-on-one, I invite you

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to schedule a consult. 
The consultation is free and it 

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gives us time to connect 
one-on-one to take a look at 

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what are the challenges you're 
facing, what is it that you want

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to get or change, and then I'll 
break down how I can help you to

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do that. 
Sometimes it's just easier to 

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have a thought partner, 
especially when you start rising

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up into new levels of 
responsibility, and I live for 

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that. 
I love it and I would love to 

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help. 
So you will find all the links 

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you need into the show notes 
below. 

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Or just go to my website 
kimnickel.com and you will find 

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everything that you need there 
too. 

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All right. 
Thanks for listening and have a 

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great week. 
When you're more effective at 

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work, you're happier in your 
life. 

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And when you're happier in your 
life, you're more effective at 

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work. 
I can help. 

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00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,400
Go to my website, kimnickel.com 
and sign up for a coaching 

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00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,800
consult. 
It can get better.