Welcome to the New Manager Podcast.
I'm your host, Kim Nickel. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well.
I want to start today's episode with a shout out to you my
listeners. And especially I'm seeing an
uptick in the number of listeners from Canada.
So hello to my listeners in Canada.
If you are new, welcome. And here's a fun fact is I get
to see a little bit of where you all are.
It doesn't give me very granular data and I think it only tracks
it for my Spotify listeners because of the way that this
show is published. So I think I'm not able to see
how it is for my Apple podcast listeners, but here's some fun
things that I have learned about my listening audience, including
you. So one is that of my listeners
in Canada, most of you are in Ontario, followed by Quebec,
British Columbia and Alberta. I love that.
I love the range. I love knowing that you're here
and listening in the US, which is currently my largest
audience. No surprise since I'm based
here. So a lot of folks that I know
are also in the US But fun fact, the top four states in the US
where my listeners are are California, followed by Texas
and then New York and Florida. Isn't that cool?
What a broad range. And then I also see a little
bit, I know from my listeners in the UK, Hello to all of you.
The most number of my listeners in the UK are in England,
followed by Scotland and Wales. So shout out and hello to all of
you. And I know that I also have
listeners in other countries as well.
So you know I'm, I'm including you also in in the Wave and in
the Hello. And one of the reasons I really
like that and why it seems it feels so meaningful to me is
because I really think about the challenges that we have in the
workplace when we are managing people, when we are stepping up
into new levels of leadership and thinking about how do I do
this effectively and how do I do this in a way that feels good.
You know, not just for, you know, for you as the person, but
also the sense of can I make our work experience something that
people want to be a part of. And what I love about this is,
you know, that's kind of my philosophy and how I think about
this show and and why I really like having these conversations
that I can share with you. But I feel like it really points
to how universal so many of these challenges are, because
they're about humans and they're about relationships.
So on one level, it doesn't really matter where in the world
you are. You will encounter some very
familiar and common and universal dynamics and
challenges when it comes to effectively working with,
managing and leading the other humans that you work with.
I love that because that also means that we can then learn
from so many different areas of life and of the world.
We can learn and gain insight and perspective from all over,
not just in your organization, not just in your town or your
country or even in your industry.
There are things that you can learn by looking to other
industries, other places, other kinds of organizations that can
help how you think about what it means to, you know, be a human
centered leader and to manage effectively.
And that includes working in a way that is sustainable for you.
So while many of the specific individual challenges can
sometimes feel very isolating, the big picture is that, you
know, we're all asking very similar questions no matter
where you are in the world and no matter what industry you're
in. It's been really interesting for
me since I started this podcast. The very first episodes were
released, I think back in late 2019, and at the time I was
working primarily in California and teaching in person.
So I was teaching people who were also in California.
And one of the things I've really loved is that over the
years I've had the opportunity to talk with and meet so many
other folks because of this podcast that have reached out to
me for one-on-one coaching or that have reached out to me to
tell me how the podcast has helped them.
And it's really illuminated how much the challenges that will
arise are not specific to where you are, the industry you work
in or even the size of the organization.
If you work in a very small agency or a very small company
or you work in a very global enterprise, Oregon, a very large
organization, it's so fascinating how some of the
challenges are still the same. They might take a slightly
different shape. You might have different
resources or you might have different ways that your, you
know, organization is organized. But when it comes to how do we
work together as humans and how do we do that?
Well, it truly is a very common connection that we all have.
So I thought that was pretty cool.
I wanted to share that thought with you too.
Now, the main thing I want to talk with you today is this
framework that I have been using more in my coaching practice and
I've been seeing some really great results with my clients
and so I wanted to share this with you.
This is the kind of thing I love to teach because it's it's very
lightweight, meaning it's a simple framework.
It's something that doesn't take a lot of thought to understand.
It's very easy to understand. It's a very simple framework and
it is very effective, very quickly.
Which is great, right? Because we want to equip you
with things you can use when you walk into the office next, and
that will help you immediately. You know, when I first started
teaching essential skills for new managers, the class was only
an hour and a half, and sometimes people would leave
work, come to class and then go back to work.
And so my goal was what can I teach you in 90 minutes?
That you will be able to walk back into the office at the end
of this class and use this in a way that makes a measurable and
real positive difference for you.
That was that was my thinking of how I was trying to design that
class. And so today I have something
for you that would definitely meet that standard if we were
all in the room together and I was going to teach you
something. This is the thing I want to
teach you. So you're going to want to use
this. This is a framework.
It's going to basically become a sentence structure and you will
use it when you are feeling frustrated, overwhelmed,
stressed out, anxious, like anytime you're starting to feel
somewhat overcome or just like very activated and you kind of
don't know what to do with it. And it goes like this even
though and then you say whatever is true or whatever is happening
for you even though and then you add it's possible that or I know
that or I'm committed to or it's also true that.
So let me give you an example. I had a a couple of coaching
conversations around schedules in the last couple of weeks.
There's a lot of stuff happening on people's schedules.
And so I had a client who is sharing how she was feeling
really guilty. And whatever she chose to spend
her time on, she felt guilty like she wasn't spending enough
time on the other thing. And so she felt really trapped
in this guilt place because she could only put so many things on
her calendar. So the way that we addressed
that, like one of the places we started was with this framework.
And she said, even though I can't do everything I want to,
you know, in this day, I know that I'm choosing to focus my
attention on these things For these reasons.
And what this does, when you take this framework and you
apply it into your life, is that the first part of it?
Even though that allows you to truly acknowledge and accept how
you're feeling or what is going on, right?
So it might be even though the budget is not established, or
even though there's lots of uncertainty around whether we
will have this budget or not by the state, You name it, you face
it, you accept it, you acknowledge it.
Even though this is so, it's possible that fill in the blank.
I'm committed to fill in the blank.
And So what this does is it allows you to really turn to and
face a thing that feels really true and perhaps unchangeable or
impenetrable, like a tangled knot that you can't find a way
to untangle. Yet.
All we do first is we face it, we acknowledge it, and we name
it. That allows us to soften a
little bit. Instead of feeling like we have
to armor up and like go in and try to change it and wrestle it
to the ground and try to make it different, we just turn to it
and say, wow, even though I'm feeling this or even though this
is happening right now, the next part, it's possible or I know
that, or I'm committed to, or it's also true that then becomes
the bridge that directs your thinking in the direction that
will help you through that stuck point.
And the reason this matters is because what we often tend to do
when things get really hard is we either become completely
consumed by the challenge of it and that can really sink our
energy and we can feel stuck and really mired in like an
unsolvable problem or an overwhelming challenge.
And it feels terrible. And we might even try to resist
it or just think, if I if I only work harder, maybe I can, you
know, somehow find a way through this.
But it softens that when we simply acknowledge, like even
though this is true, or even though this is how I'm feeling
or even though this is what's happening right now.
We soften when we acknowledge and accept it, and then we help
guide our thinking by building this bridge of what else is also
possible or what else do you know, Where else do you have
certainty? And that will both create a
sense of grounding in something that feels true and that feels
good and that feels supportive. And it will point you to, you
know, there, there might be something that is helpful even
even still, even though, right? So use this, Think about this.
Think of a sticky problem or a sticky situation that you're
facing, or even just an emotion. Like, you might just feel kind
of, you know, kind of crispy, like a little bit near the edge
of burnout. You might be feeling really
fatigued or just emotionally drained for, you know, something
that's happening in your life or something that's happening in
the world that is having an effect on you.
So you might say to yourself, even though I'm feeling so
exhausted, I know that I am committed to doing the best I
can with the resources that I have.
Or it might be, even though I'm feeling a little burned out.
It's also true that I can make some plans and changes that will
help me down the line. It's also possible that maybe
I'm I need to learn how to get better at my boundaries, right?
Like, it helps us to expand our perspective.
So we're seeing not just the problem that feels really sticky
and unsolvable, but it's helping us to see beyond that.
And that will help us to feel more resourced, to feel more
supported, to feel more connected, to feel less alone.
And all of that is such a better place to be when you're trying
to address something difficult or when you're trying to find a
path through something that might feel kind of scary or
uncertain. So that's the framework even
though and then you say the thing that seems true or that is
just happening and then the second part of that framework,
it's possible or I also know that or I am committed to or you
know, it's also true. It allows us to meet life with
the. Yes.
And this is one of the things I love about mindfulness and why
it's such a part of the way that I work with folks and it's
really informed. The way that I teach and see
what leadership and management in the workplace looks like is
that there will be plenty of times where there may be
something happening that is genuinely just draining or
extreme or difficult or totally like just like not good, right?
Like something is happening that it just feels not good.
And we don't want to turn away from that.
We don't want to ignore it. We don't want to just, you know,
push through. We want to actually slow down to
acknowledge this is the experience that we're having.
And we also want to expand and include a broader perspective,
because something that I know for sure to be true is that
every day of your life there will be challenges.
And every day of your life, there are also going to be
things that are going your way. There are also going to be
things that are going well. And I think sometimes it's easy
to lose sight of that. And part of mindfulness is that
skill, that willingness to turn and face both, so that we're not
becoming completely consumed or overwhelmed by the challenges
and the difficulties and the uncertainty.
We don't want to get lost in that.
And we also don't want to ignore all of that and only try to hold
onto the things that are going well, the things that are going
your way, The big wins. Like, we don't want to try to
cling, to look only upon the positive.
That's kind of when we drift into the realm of, like, denial
or toxic positivity. Like we're not trying to force a
particular attitude or posture, but instead with mindfulness it
allows us to acknowledge and kind of hold an expansive view.
That includes knowing that even when things are difficult, there
are some things that are still going well or that are possible
or that are unwritten yet that we can influence.
And when things are going well, we can sometimes learn from that
what is going well and how can I use this to also then look to
the challenges that I want to help change or move through.
So my hope is that as you go into your work day, as you go
into your work week, find opportunities to try this on
this sentence framework and see what happens when you do even
though. And then you just state and
accept and acknowledge the thing that is happening, and then
build a bridge that directs your attention to a path beyond that
challenge. What else is possible?
What else do you know? What else are you committed to?
What else might be true? Even when you know, even though.
So try that out again. As I mentioned, it's really
lightweight. Try it.
See what happens, and hey, you can always let me know.
You can find me on LinkedIn. If you're not following me
there, go there. If you're not on my e-mail list,
be sure to do that because I will be sending out some news
about the next group program and I want to make sure that you get
all that info as soon as it goes out.
And if you would like to work with me one-on-one, I invite you
to schedule a consult. The consultation is free and it
gives us time to connect one-on-one to take a look at
what are the challenges you're facing, what is it that you want
to get or change, and then I'll break down how I can help you to
do that. Sometimes it's just easier to
have a thought partner, especially when you start rising
up into new levels of responsibility, and I live for
that. I love it and I would love to
help. So you will find all the links
you need into the show notes below.
Or just go to my website kimnickel.com and you will find
everything that you need there too.
All right. Thanks for listening and have a
great week. When you're more effective at
work, you're happier in your life.
And when you're happier in your life, you're more effective at
work. I can help.
Go to my website, kimnickel.com and sign up for a coaching
consult. It can get better.