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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here, and I hope
you're doing well today. 

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I wanted to start by sharing a 
celebration, one of my clients 

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and I were talking and I asked 
her, you know, as you reflect 

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back over the six months that 
we've worked together, what have

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you learned what stands out? 
And she thought about it and she

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said I learned things don't 
always have to be so hard. 

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I felt less frantic this year, 
but looking back, I'm surprised 

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at all the things I was able to 
accomplish and I loved that and 

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I wanted to share that with you 
because it ties into my topic 

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for today, which is emotions at 
work and to approach this topic,

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I also want to back up a little 
bit. 

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I don't often talk directly 
about mindfulness on this 

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podcast but it is The foundation
of everything I do in my work. 

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And my mindfulness, I simply 
mean a quality of attention 

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where your attention is in the 
present moment with curiosity 

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and kindness. 
It really sits beneath my entire

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Philosophy for this work. 
Why? 

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It's important what makes it 
effective, and it's a 

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foundational tool that you can 
use. 

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In your career, honestly, at any
stage, but I feel especially 

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when you start Rising into a 
manager role, that's when it 

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becomes even more important and 
even more useful, especially 

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with respect to emotions. 
So emotions at work, so many of 

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the clients that I work with, 
they come to me for questions 

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that are having about being new 
managers at work. 

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Emotion shows up a lot 
specifically. 

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I mean I hear things like I want
to feel more confident. 

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I feel a lot of imposter 
syndrome. 

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I want to motivate my team. 
How do I get my team to feel 

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motivated and engaged? 
I inherited a team that is 

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grieving how do I support my 
team with all of the grief and 

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the emotion that they're 
feeling. 

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I feel overwhelmed, I feel like 
I need to do it all myself. 

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I feel anxious about whether or 
not I'm doing a good job. 

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So this idea of emotions shows 
up number one because you're a 

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human. 
So congratulations, 

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congratulations. 
Being a human means that you win

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an access pass to all of the 
emotions that are available to 

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humans which is a wide range and
I think we sometimes simply 

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Overlook that what is driving 
our decisions or our challenges 

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or you know the reason we hold 
ourselves back and kind of Spin 

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and Self Doubt or uncertainty is
because there's this significant

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emotional component that we 
often simply haven't Not really 

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been prepared or equipped to 
handle. 

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We all, you know, we all kind of
wing it and we figure out what 

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works for us. 
But I find that there comes a 

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time when it actually is really 
helpful to look at emotions 

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specifically. 
The other interesting thing is 

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that when you reflect on the 
most satisfying and rewarding 

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parts of work, those are going 
to be emotions to like feeling 

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inspired. 
Are feeling valued feeling like 

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you work with great people and 
it feels meaningful and fun 

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feeling respected for who you 
are. 

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And for what you contribute 
feeling appreciated. 

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For all that you do feeling 
proud of the work that you and 

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your team, or your organization 
are doing in the world. 

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I find like, when we think about
the most satisfying parts of 

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curvier, those are Motion 
things. 

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So emotions become really 
important and as a manager, you 

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now have to deal, not just with 
your own emotions, but you're 

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now Reckoning with the emotions 
of your team in a new way and 

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the emotions of the people above
you, in the organization. 

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So sometimes what happens is As 
We rise in our career and we get

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a little bit Went into that 
middle range, right? 

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Where you're not the topmost 
person, but you're no longer the

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bottommost person, your kind of 
somewhere in the middle becoming

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aware of the different, like, 
emotional Landscapes of 

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organization. 
You're in, can be sometimes a 

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bit confusing. 
It. 

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Can sometimes be a bit 
challenging kind of like, you 

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know, you're now seeing this 
whole dimension of human 

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interaction and relationship 
that you didn't. 

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Fully appreciate was there. 
So where do we begin with 

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emotions and how to deal with 
them? 

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The first thing I want to share,
is this idea that emotion 

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presents as physical sensation, 
which means that when we're 

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talking about a motion, we're 
talking about, what is the 

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physical sensation you're 
experiencing in the body as an 

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initial way of identifying it? 
So, if I asked you, you know, Do

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you feel right now? 
And you said, I feel pretty 

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stressed. 
I'd say, okay. 

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So what does that feel like in 
your body? 

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How do you identify that as 
stress? 

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And you might say, well, you 
know, my eyebrows are kind of 

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scrunched up and I can feel like
my shoulders are kind of tense. 

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You might say, well, I know I'm 
stressed because actually, I 

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haven't been sleeping very well.
So my sleep is really poor and I

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wake up, I don't feel rested, 
you know, we're interested in 

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what is the physical All 
expression, the physical 

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experience and the same for 
really enjoyable emotions, 

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right? 
So if I said how are you doing? 

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And you said I'm doing great 
actually feel really happy 

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today. 
Say Okay interesting, great tell

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me what does happy feel like in 
your physical body and you 

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reflect and pause and say well 
you know it kind of feels like 

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this lifting kind of opening 
feeling maybe across the heart. 

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You might feel it in your face, 
maybe your face feels kind of 

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relaxed, maybe your jaw and your
neck feel kind of relaxed. 

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And if you're listening and 
you're wondering my goodness, 

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what is she talking about? 
It's okay. 

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I get that a lot. 
Well, actually, I get that 

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50/50, I would say half of my 
clients have a real easy time. 

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With this concept makes 
intuitive sense for them, but 

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also maybe half of my clients 
feel Less aware of their 

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emotions as physical sensation, 
and that's when we actually can 

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have some fun. 
It's like okay. 

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Number one, if you think in 
terms of physical sensation. 

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First just notice what, if any 
physical Sensations are present 

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for you, right now, like are 
your hands cold, are you holding

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a cup, is the cup heavy? 
Is it smooth? 

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Begin to tune into the physical?
Stations because it can help 

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give you some information about 
the emotions that you are 

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experiencing now, the reason why
it becomes helpful to think of 

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emotion as physical sensation is
it just gives us another way to 

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Grapple with it and we want to 
become aware of the difference 

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between the emotion. 
We're experiencing the story 

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that we have around that emotion
And what are the facts of the 

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situation they get very blurry 
when we're simply living, you 

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know, Full Speed Ahead that when
we pause and say, okay? 

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So right now there's some let's 
call it, you know, some impostor

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syndrome going on, you've gotten
promoted to this new role and 

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your kind of questioning 
yourself. 

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If you can really pull this off 
and you're not really sure 

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because it's kind of a big job 
and you've never done this 

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before. 
And maybe your boss really 

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believes in you and you're 
afraid to disappoint them or 

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you're afraid, you'll let your 
team down because you think I've

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never done this before. 
Like I've actually never done 

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this before so I don't, I don't 
know if I'm afraid of letting 

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people down, right? 
So you've got some impostor 

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syndrome. 
You've got some self-doubt in a 

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fear disappointment swirling in 
there, so we can start to say, 

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okay well, what are the facts of
the situation? 

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Ocean. 
And that can include everything 

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from one where you promoted, 
what are your responsibilities, 

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how many people are on your 
team? 

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You know, what are what are the 
tasks that you're feeling most 

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concerned about, and why, like, 
we can start to get into the 

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facty part of it? 
And then we can look at the 

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story part. 
Okay. 

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So what's the story you're 
telling yourself about all of 

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these things and the story might
be. 

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Well, there's a lot more at 
stake now. 

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It's not just me. 
I'm making decisions for it's 

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for my whole team. 
There's a lot riding on this. 

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You might tell the story of 
well, now I'm so visible. 

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Everyone is looking to me for 
guidance or answers and I feel 

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even more pressure about making 
a mistake so we can look at you 

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know what is the story that 
you're telling yourself about 

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the facts and about the 
situation? 

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And that might be a story about 
yourself and who you are. 

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Our it might even be a story of,
you know, people like me don't 

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get big jobs. 
Like this are people like me 

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don't get the benefit of the 
doubt or, you know, people in my

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family have always struggled 
with X y&z. 

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This story is the meaning that 
you're giving the particular 

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situation and it can be 
multi-layered which is really 

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interesting when we start to 
unpeel the layers to get more 

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clearly. 
Got it. 

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So there's the story of it and 
then there's the emotion and 

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emotions, very rarely, come 
alone. 

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Meaning, every emotion has a set
of friends and if you have one, 

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you probably have others. 
So you might feel a swirl of 

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emotion, it might be a 
combination of enthusiastic and 

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scared. 
It might be a combination of, 

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you know, feeling intimidated 
and Feeling eager, it might be a

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combination of anxiety. 
Fear pressure stress, some shame

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flares and you know, remembering
a time from childhood when you 

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felt really unsupported and kind
of out on your own to do a big 

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hard thing, like it can all be a
swirl. 

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And so we want to disentangle 
some of those so we can get a 

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clearer look at what are these 
emotions and play. 

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And this is also why I, as a 
manager, as you're learning to 

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become aware of the emotional 
landscape of yourself, your 

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team, the people that you work 
with, like, you don't have to be

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able to read all the emotions. 
You simply want to be aware that

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it is in play that every human 
has an emotional landscape and 

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then as humans work together, 
like, emotions are always a part

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of the picture, whether it's 
Inning on the surface where you 

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can really see it clearly or 
whether it's underneath. 

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And, for example, one of the 
ways, I see, emotions underneath

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the surface, playing out in our 
day-to-day work, is in 

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avoidance, when we are avoiding 
something, you can bet, it's 

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because there's an emotional 
driver behind that avoidance, 

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it's often discomfort. 
Or fear of a confrontation or 

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fear of uncertainty, or fear of 
the unknown. 

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I don't want to have this 
conversation because I'm afraid 

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of what this person will say. 
I don't want to have this 

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conversation because I am afraid
of the emotions. 

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This person will have. 
When I tell them, you know, X, Y

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and Z. 
So when we're in a voidance, you

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know, when you know, there's 
something you have to do or you 

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need to do, but you stay in a 
void. 

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Dance or you stay in indecision,
there's a good chance it's 

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because there's some emotion 
underneath that is driving that 

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behavior. 
And when you get more 

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understanding of what is that 
emotion, what is the story that 

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that emotion is about? 
How does that relate to what I 

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am experiencing or perceiving or
the fact Enos of the situation 

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everything becomes easier. 
And so You know, I had mentioned

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this client, the beginning of 
that our show today and she 

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realized, oh, I'm surprised at 
all. 

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The things I was able to 
accomplish even though I was 

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less frantic. 
And one of the stories she had 

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was that in her career, you have
to be frantic and anxious in 

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order to be successful, that was
what she had seen modeled by 

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others in her profession, was 
that ambition? 

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Meant anxiety, if you're going 
to be ambitious. 

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Vicious. 
You have to be anxious and 

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frenetic. 
She just never seen someone who 

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could be kind of calm and 
relaxed and easeful and 

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successful at the same time and 
so, her fear was if I let go of 

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my anxiety, will I lose my drive
for ambition? 

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Well, I not, you know, be as 
active in the work that I do. 

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So we Unwound. 
The story. 

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Looked at the facts, looked at 
the Chen and found another way 

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to kind of challenge. 
Her her subconscious, underlying

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assumption around the role of 
that anxiety in her career. 

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And it turns out in case you're 
wondering, you actually do not 

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need anxiety. 
In order to motivate yourself to

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be ambitious. 
There are so many other ways you

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can drive ambition. 
And one of my favorites to share

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with you is the sense of legacy.
The sense of purpose, the sense 

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that hey, you know what, you're 
here for a limited amount of 

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time on the planet. 
Why don't we use this time to 

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contribute something? 
Good to those who are coming 

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after whether that's the new 
people coming into your career, 

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whether that's your sense of 
Legacy for your family, or for 

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your community, or for your 
field of Industry. 

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I find that when we think in 
that, in that turn the sense of.

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Hey, you know what? 
As long as I'm here, let's make 

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it good. 
That is such an energizing place

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to motivate yourself without it 
being driven by like the fear 

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and the stress and then you 
know, the energy just feels 

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different, it feels easier to 
move forward. 

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We can get out of our own way 
and still have some time to 

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relax and enjoy and celebrate. 
So emotions at work, this is A 

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topic, I want to revisit again 
in the future because there are 

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so many different angles to it 
and to how it shows up in the 

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workplace. 
But for today, I simply want to 

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call your attention to how 
emotions, show up at work, 

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especially for new managers in 
terms of the self-doubt, the 

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overwhelm, the questioning, how 
you can best support your team, 

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and help them feel motivated as 
well as realizing emotions. 

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Are also part of the best part 
of work that feeling satisfied, 

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accomplished respected valued 
connected. 

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Like it's one of the things that
is the best part of humans 

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working together is the 
emotional part. 

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So as you go forward into your 
week, it might be fun to Simply 

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notice what are the most 
prominent And emotions that you 

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experience yourself and what are
the most prominent, emotions 

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that you notice or perceive in 
the humans around you, and it's 

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just a practice of noticing of 
Simply becoming aware so that we

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can then become curious and 
start to learn more. 

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But step one is to Simply 
acknowledge and notice. 

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What emotions are present. 
Here, we practice that with 

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Ourselves first, because you 
have direct access to the 

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emotions. 
You are experiencing, whether 

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you realize it or not, and then 
we can start to bring that 

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awareness to understanding and 
relating with others in some new

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and really effective ways. 
So I look forward to talking 

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with you more. 
This is what I've got for you 

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today. 
And thank you for listening. 

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I'll talk to you next time. 
Oh, and wait. 

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One last thought. 
Before I sign off, I am taking 

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new clients. 
So, if you want to work with me 

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one-on-one, we can do this work 
on a deeper more personal level.

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Go into the show notes, you'll 
find the link to book a consult 

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00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,700
directly on my calendar. 
And we can also talk about how 

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to present this as a Learning 
and Development request. 

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So that if your company has 
budget, Your professional 

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learning and growth. 
They might be able to sponsor 

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some or all of your work with 
me. 

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All right? 
That's it today. 

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I'll talk to you next time. 
Hey before you go if you like 

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this podcast leave a review. 
Tell me why you listen and what 

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00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,300
has helped you? 
Thanks so much. 

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I'll see you next time.
