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Hello and welcome. 
I'm glad you're here and I hope 

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you're doing well. 
If you are new to this show, 

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hey, I'm so glad you found this 
little spot in podcast land. 

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I think of this as a place where
you can always show up and in a 

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short amount of time you'll feel
a little better. 

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So work concerns won't feel 
quite so heavy on your 

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shoulders. 
And you'll also come away with 

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something very practical that 
you can use at work today, this 

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week, like in the very immediate
term. 

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If you've been listening for a 
while, then you also know that I

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teach a course on communication 
strategies for managers. 

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And as I was, you know, 
preparing class for this current

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cohort, I came upon a recording 
that I did for last year when I 

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was teaching. 
And I thought, oh, this could be

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really good to share with you 
because the specific content and

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teaching I think is really 
useful when you are asking 

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yourself, how can I start to 
develop my own communication 

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skills as a manager, as a 
leader, to be more effective. 

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And it is also really helpful if
you've ever found yourself in a 

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situation where it seemed like 
someone was coming to you with a

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lot of questions and you felt 
really tired from trying to 

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answer them all and answer them 
all correctly. 

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And for so many reasons, a lot 
of us are conditioned that when 

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you are asked a question, you're
supposed to answer it. 

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But there's actually another way
of thinking about this that 

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becomes important when you are 
now stepping into more of a 

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leadership role and managing 
other people. 

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And so the clip I'm going to 
share with you will give you 

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both some very specific ideas 
that you can apply today. 

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And it's also going to give you 
a perspective that might shift 

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the way you feel and kind of 
shift the way you respond when 

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you feel like there are a lot of
questions coming your way. 

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Or maybe there's someone 
specific on your team who's just

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asking a lot of questions and 
you feel conflicted about how 

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much to engage with them. 
You know, like how much to 

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answer versus how much to let 
them kind of figure things out 

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on their own. 
If you've ever felt uncertain 

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about, you know, what's the 
right course of action, then 

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this will help you. 
And you'll also get a sense of 

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what it's like to be in class. 
And one of the things I really 

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like about the live teaching 
experience is that we meet 

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online together. 
And that means that as I'm 

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teaching, you get to ask 
questions and then I get to 

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respond and offer perspective 
and coaching based on what is 

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actually happening for you in 
that moment, which is what 

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sparked the teaching. 
I'm about to share. 

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So get ready to take some notes.
And here is that clip. 

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And what's cool is like, you 
know, after our call today and 

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into the coming week, you're 
going to start noticing. 

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Like, and actually part of the 
homework, part of the field work

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is to just start noticing like 
who around you communicates 

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really well? 
Why? 

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Like, what is it that they're 
doing? 

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Who is it that you're noticing 
is like, oh, they are not 

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communicating very well. 
What is it that they're doing? 

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Or like, what is it that's 
happening that that is like 

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making that not good. 
We're just starting to hone that

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ability to observe and notice on
that granular level. 

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And I want to give you all like 
this conversation is making me 

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think of three specific 
questions that you can ask that 

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can be helpful in, you know, 
different kinds of communication

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situations. 
And I guess if, if I were to put

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this on a slide, it would say 
not every question needs an 

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answer. 
So very often when we're in, 

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when we don't have a managerial 
responsibility, the role that we

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are in, when someone asks us a 
question, our job is to answer 

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it. 
It comes and it's like from 

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school, like when you're in 
school and a person of higher 

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power asks you a question, your 
job is to give the give the 

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right answer, right? 
But what happens when you're a 

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manager now is you're going to 
need to start thinking in a 

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slight, in slightly different 
terms. 

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So someone might ask you a 
question and the best answer 

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might not be to give the answer 
to the question. 

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And this will make more sense 
when I give you the three 

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questions. 
So someone you know is doing 

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something or they're asking you 
for something, you can ask them,

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why is this happening, right? 
So someone's like doing all this

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communication or doing 
something. 

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You can wait, Why is this 
happening? 

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What are they thinking that's 
driving that behavior? 

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Why is this happening? 
You can ask the question, why do

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you ask? 
So someone's like, hey, are you 

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available, you know, to meet on 
Friday at 3:00 PM? 

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Instead of saying yes or no, you
can say, wait, why do you ask? 

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What's going on? 
And also the question, what are 

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you trying to do? 
And I like this one because it's

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often if you have someone and 
they're really focused on 

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execution or they're really, 
they seem like they're really 

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trying. 
If they, if they're seeming kind

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of forceful, like they're really
trying to like, like get 

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something done, like they're 
trying to do something. 

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But I, you know, I question 
whether it's being as effective 

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as they think it is. 
You can ask them like, what are 

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you trying to do? 
Like, what's your goal here? 

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Because you're trying to 
understand what's going on in 

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their mind that's driving the 
behavior of how they're 

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communicating, what they're 
asking for, what they're doing. 

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Because sometimes, you know, 
people ask a question and it's 

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actually not the most useful 
question. 

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They just don't realize that. 
And if you ever feel like you're

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sort of pinned, like you're 
like, why are they asking me all

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these questions? 
This can be a good alternative 

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to get you out of feeling like 
you're just in a loop going back

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and forth with things. 
What are you trying to 

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accomplish? 
What are you trying to do? 

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Or why do you ask? 
Like, why is this happening 

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right now? 
Is this person feeling really 

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insecure? 
And so they're asking me for all

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these things to get my approval.
Like what? 

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What is happening right now? 
So that is what I wanted to 

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share with you this week. 
If you liked this episode, if 

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this podcast has helped you, 
would you please leave a rating 

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and a review? 
It really makes a difference and

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would mean a lot to me. 
And if you want to study with me

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more, then make sure you get on 
the list for the next cohort for

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my Communication Strategies 
course. 

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And of course, if you'd rather 
work with me one-on-one, then 

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reach out to ask about private 
coaching. 

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You'll find those links below in
the show notes. 

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Thanks for listening and have a 
great week. 

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I'll talk to you next time. 
When you're more effective at 

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work, you're happier in your 
life. 

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When you're happier in your 
life, you're more effective at 

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work. 
I can help. 

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Go to my website, kimnickel.com 
and sign up for a coaching 

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consult. 
It can get better.