Hello and welcome. I'm glad you're here and I hope
you're doing well. If you are new to this show,
hey, I'm so glad you found this little spot in podcast land.
I think of this as a place where you can always show up and in a
short amount of time you'll feel a little better.
So work concerns won't feel quite so heavy on your
shoulders. And you'll also come away with
something very practical that you can use at work today, this
week, like in the very immediate term.
If you've been listening for a while, then you also know that I
teach a course on communication strategies for managers.
And as I was, you know, preparing class for this current
cohort, I came upon a recording that I did for last year when I
was teaching. And I thought, oh, this could be
really good to share with you because the specific content and
teaching I think is really useful when you are asking
yourself, how can I start to develop my own communication
skills as a manager, as a leader, to be more effective.
And it is also really helpful if you've ever found yourself in a
situation where it seemed like someone was coming to you with a
lot of questions and you felt really tired from trying to
answer them all and answer them all correctly.
And for so many reasons, a lot of us are conditioned that when
you are asked a question, you're supposed to answer it.
But there's actually another way of thinking about this that
becomes important when you are now stepping into more of a
leadership role and managing other people.
And so the clip I'm going to share with you will give you
both some very specific ideas that you can apply today.
And it's also going to give you a perspective that might shift
the way you feel and kind of shift the way you respond when
you feel like there are a lot of questions coming your way.
Or maybe there's someone specific on your team who's just
asking a lot of questions and you feel conflicted about how
much to engage with them. You know, like how much to
answer versus how much to let them kind of figure things out
on their own. If you've ever felt uncertain
about, you know, what's the right course of action, then
this will help you. And you'll also get a sense of
what it's like to be in class. And one of the things I really
like about the live teaching experience is that we meet
online together. And that means that as I'm
teaching, you get to ask questions and then I get to
respond and offer perspective and coaching based on what is
actually happening for you in that moment, which is what
sparked the teaching. I'm about to share.
So get ready to take some notes. And here is that clip.
And what's cool is like, you know, after our call today and
into the coming week, you're going to start noticing.
Like, and actually part of the homework, part of the field work
is to just start noticing like who around you communicates
really well? Why?
Like, what is it that they're doing?
Who is it that you're noticing is like, oh, they are not
communicating very well. What is it that they're doing?
Or like, what is it that's happening that that is like
making that not good. We're just starting to hone that
ability to observe and notice on that granular level.
And I want to give you all like this conversation is making me
think of three specific questions that you can ask that
can be helpful in, you know, different kinds of communication
situations. And I guess if, if I were to put
this on a slide, it would say not every question needs an
answer. So very often when we're in,
when we don't have a managerial responsibility, the role that we
are in, when someone asks us a question, our job is to answer
it. It comes and it's like from
school, like when you're in school and a person of higher
power asks you a question, your job is to give the give the
right answer, right? But what happens when you're a
manager now is you're going to need to start thinking in a
slight, in slightly different terms.
So someone might ask you a question and the best answer
might not be to give the answer to the question.
And this will make more sense when I give you the three
questions. So someone you know is doing
something or they're asking you for something, you can ask them,
why is this happening, right? So someone's like doing all this
communication or doing something.
You can wait, Why is this happening?
What are they thinking that's driving that behavior?
Why is this happening? You can ask the question, why do
you ask? So someone's like, hey, are you
available, you know, to meet on Friday at 3:00 PM?
Instead of saying yes or no, you can say, wait, why do you ask?
What's going on? And also the question, what are
you trying to do? And I like this one because it's
often if you have someone and they're really focused on
execution or they're really, they seem like they're really
trying. If they, if they're seeming kind
of forceful, like they're really trying to like, like get
something done, like they're trying to do something.
But I, you know, I question whether it's being as effective
as they think it is. You can ask them like, what are
you trying to do? Like, what's your goal here?
Because you're trying to understand what's going on in
their mind that's driving the behavior of how they're
communicating, what they're asking for, what they're doing.
Because sometimes, you know, people ask a question and it's
actually not the most useful question.
They just don't realize that. And if you ever feel like you're
sort of pinned, like you're like, why are they asking me all
these questions? This can be a good alternative
to get you out of feeling like you're just in a loop going back
and forth with things. What are you trying to
accomplish? What are you trying to do?
Or why do you ask? Like, why is this happening
right now? Is this person feeling really
insecure? And so they're asking me for all
these things to get my approval. Like what?
What is happening right now? So that is what I wanted to
share with you this week. If you liked this episode, if
this podcast has helped you, would you please leave a rating
and a review? It really makes a difference and
would mean a lot to me. And if you want to study with me
more, then make sure you get on the list for the next cohort for
my Communication Strategies course.
And of course, if you'd rather work with me one-on-one, then
reach out to ask about private coaching.
You'll find those links below in the show notes.
Thanks for listening and have a great week.
I'll talk to you next time. When you're more effective at
work, you're happier in your life.
When you're happier in your life, you're more effective at
work. I can help.
Go to my website, kimnickel.com and sign up for a coaching
consult. It can get better.