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Welcome to the new Manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nicholl. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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I am feeling quite excited 
because I'm going on vacation 

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really soon and when this 
episode releases, I will be on 

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vacation with my partner and my 
brother's family. 

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And it'll be really nice to be 
away and just having time to 

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reflect and connect. 
And, you know, the perspective 

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that comes when you take a step 
back and you kind of connect 

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with the people that you care 
deeply about. 

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And you just begin to think a 
little differently about, you 

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know, your life and your work 
and how it all fits together and

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what you want to do when you get
back, you know, how how you want

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it to be. 
And so I am looking forward to 

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having that time. 
And I hope that you are also 

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planning some time away in the 
coming holiday season so that 

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you're able to also replenish, 
reflect and think about, you 

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know, sometimes the bigger 
picture, the bigger questions 

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and not just getting through all
of the demands of each and every

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day. 
I've been thinking too, about 

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the episode from last week, the 
one about what is your role? 

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Because today I wanted to talk 
with you about defining success.

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One of the hard things when you 
become a manager and when you're

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in a leadership role is 
realizing it's such a different 

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job than just being good at the 
thing that you've been good at. 

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And when you begin to ask 
yourself, you know, how, how do 

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I know if I'm doing a good job 
here? 

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What does success look like? 
How can I be successful when 

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there are so many different 
personalities and so many 

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different things that are maybe 
outside of your control? 

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It can feel very disorienting, 
especially when you are a person

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who cares a lot. 
So you're probably tracking the 

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emotions and the, you know, just
the work of other people as an 

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indicator of success. 
And it's also really hard when 

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you are used to being a very 
high achieving, high 

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accomplishment person. 
Because when you then step into 

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this new role of being the 
manager and you're not sure you 

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know what success looks like, 
what it means, how to get there,

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It can feel very frustrating. 
And it can sometimes be 

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discouraging and just really 
interfere with both your ability

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to be your best, to do your best
work, and also to have a sense 

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of clarity about what is it that
matters. 

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You know, if we if we understand
what success means to you, that 

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becomes a very orienting 
perspective. 

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So you'll begin to have more 
clarity about what matters, what

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should you put your attention to
and what things don't matter so 

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much. 
And maybe those can go off to 

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the side a little bit. 
So thinking back about the 

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episode from last week, around 
what is your role? 

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This also plays into the idea of
how do you measure success? 

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Because, for example, if you 
feel like your role is to be the

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fixer and to fix things, then 
you're going to measure your 

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success by whether or not you 
were able to fix the thing. 

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And this can sometimes be tricky
because you might be in a 

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situation where fixing it is 
actually not an option. 

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Like it's not going to be 
repaired or restored to how it 

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used to be or how you know it 
ideally needs to be. 

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The objective of fixing the 
situation might not be very well

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tied to the idea of success 
because it's just, you know, 

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you're like, I can't fix this, 
right? 

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Like if half your team is laid 
off, like that's not a thing you

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can fix. 
And if you identify to be the 

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fixer in that situation, that's 
going to be a really hard place 

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to be. 
On the other hand, if you think 

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of yourself more as like the 
advocate, my role here is to be 

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the advocate, to be an advocate 
for my team or to be an advocate

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for the customer. 
Or, you know, my role is to be 

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the one who can make it more 
clear how these different dots 

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connect. 
Part of my role is I'm going to 

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be the dot connector, the person
who understands how these 

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different things connect so that
I can communicate that to my 

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team and they will understand 
why their work is important and 

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how they fit into the bigger 
picture. 

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Or even the reverse, right? 
You might be the one helping to 

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connect the dots for the person 
above you, for your manager or 

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your skip level, or for the 
people beside you, the other 

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leaders at your level who are 
trying to collaborate. 

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You might be the one saying, 
hey, this is a perspective I 

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don't see us addressing and I 
see an important connection 

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between these different 
components. 

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Let me communicate that to you, 
get your thoughts about it and 

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want to make sure that it's not 
simply being overlooked. 

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So depending on how you think 
about what is your role, that 

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can have a significant influence
on whether you feel you're being

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successful and on the way that 
you are recognizing your 

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progress, whether you are 
recognizing that you are being 

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successful or not. 
So one way I want to offer you 

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to think about this, and this is
actually a really great question

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to ask. 
I think especially mid year, mid

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year and also end of year, you 
know, every six months or so you

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want to check in and just see if
the answer to these questions 

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have changed or if you've, you 
know, maybe the answers are the 

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same, but you've gotten a bit 
distracted or you've drifted a 

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bit off track. 
So the question to ask yourself 

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when we're thinking about what 
does it mean to define a success

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as a manager? 
How do you want to be 

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remembered? 
How do you want to be 

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remembered? 
When someone looks back at this 

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time and they remember working 
with you, what do you want them 

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to remember you for? 
How do you want to be remembered

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and has you reflect on that and 
generate some answers, right. 

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Maybe it's I want to be 
remembered as fair. 

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I want to be remembered as kind.
I want to be remembered. 

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You know, you probably, my guess
is you, you probably don't want 

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to be remembered as I'm the 
person who had all the right 

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answers every single time. 
You know, I would, I would, I 

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want to be remembered as the 
person who is always right and 

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never wrong. 
You know, that's not what we're 

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going for. 
That's not the goal. 

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We really want to think, 
especially in a very human 

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context. 
You know, you have the title and

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the job, but you also have a way
that you are influencing the 

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people around you, the work that
gets done, how it gets done. 

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And when you pause to reflect on
how do you want to be 

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remembered, what are those 
words? 

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Because that can guide you, that
can help you sort through not 

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just what you're doing, but how 
you're doing it. 

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How do you want to be 
remembered? 

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If you think too about some of 
the people that you have worked 

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with in your life that have left
an impression, whether one, when

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you look back and remember them,
you remember it with great 

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warmth or when you look back, 
you still kind of cringe a 

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little bit like, oh, that was 
not a great experience. 

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But we can, you know, recall 
that the experience that we have

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with our colleagues is a really 
meaningful one. 

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Like just as a human as a on a 
human level. 

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And so you can ask yourself, how
do I want to be remembered? 

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Do you want to be remembered as 
resourceful, as someone who 

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inspired and uplifted? 
Do you want to be remembered as 

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someone who you know, supported 
your team or someone who was 

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really visionary? 
Or do you want to be remembered 

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as someone who always made sure 
that each voice was heard? 

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Do you want to be remembered as 
someone who really respected, 

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you know, like the mission or 
the team or the the colleagues? 

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Like spend some time thinking 
about that. 

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And related to that, it's this 
question of what do you want 

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people to say about you? 
If you think about the people 

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you work with and, you know, at 
some point they'll go on to work

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someplace else and they'll, you 
know, be chatting with a friend 

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or a new colleague. 
And they'll say, oh, you know, 

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what was it like working at that
other place? 

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And they'll think about you and 
what it was like to work with 

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you. 
What do you want them to say? 

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And, you know, how do you want 
them to think about you? 

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You can even think about this. 
And I want to acknowledge this 

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one's a little tricky. 
If you're a person who has a 

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little bit of an obsession 
around what are people thinking 

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about me? 
We want to slow down and 

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remember this question is a 
slightly different angle because

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it's that angle of, you know, 
what is the effect that I want 

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people to Remember Me for? 
What do I want them to say? 

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I have a client that I worked 
with a couple of years ago and 

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she was someone who was often 
kind of over overlooked, a bit 

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underestimated. 
You know, she looked very young.

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So people would assume that she 
was very young and then treat 

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her not very, not very well. 
You know, they would, they would

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tend to dismiss her a little 
bit. 

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And so when she was thinking 
about, you know, how is it she 

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wants to be remembered for her, 
it was this sense of I want 

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people to, you know, say about 
me. 

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Oh, she's she's tough. 
She knows her stuff, but she's 

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really fair. 
So for her, it was this sense of

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I want to be seen as like very 
competent, even a little bit 

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tough, but very fair. 
She did not want to be 

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remembered as, oh, like that 
person. 

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She looks so young. 
You know, she was, she was like,

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no, this is how I want to be 
remembered. 

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And so would it influence then 
the way that she chose to show 

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up? 
Because now she's not trying to,

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you know, unbuckle and undo how 
people are seeing her. 

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She's not trying to present 
older. 

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She's not trying to, you know, 
challenge their, you know, 

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mistake about her age or her 
abilities. 

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Instead, she's showing up with 
the emphasis on her competence, 

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her abilities. 
She's no longer distracted kind 

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of by the the the noise of the 
mistakes of others. 

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And instead it's more the sense 
of like, yeah, people make that 

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mistake sometimes, but they get 
over it because of who she is 

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and how she focuses and what 
she's there to do, the way that 

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she communicates, the way that 
she gets things done. 

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So consider for yourself too. 
How do you want to be 

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remembered? 
What do you want people to say 

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about you? 
This one is also good when you 

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remember that in the course of 
your career, so much of the work

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that we do and the opportunities
that come to us are by what 

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people say about us to others. 
And I'm thinking about this 

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right now because I have a 
couple of new corporate clients,

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a couple of new engagements for 
some group workshops that will 

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be happening later this year for
some different team learning 

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events. 
And both of those opportunities 

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came because of how other people
Remember Me and talk about me. 

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And they, you know, were just 
out in the world talking with 

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someone who said, yeah, you 
know, who do you recommend for 

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this kind of a workshop? 
And these people said, oh, you 

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should definitely talk to Kim. 
She's really great at group 

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facilitation. 
She's really warm. 

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And she has, like, a very human 
approach. 

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And yeah, like the topic of time
management and sustainable work 

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habits, Yeah, that definitely go
talk to Kim. 

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She'd be great at this. 
And so when you think about, you

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know, what is it that you want 
people to say about you that's 

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also about people are in rooms 
that you are not in and your 

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name might come up. 
What is it that you want them to

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say? 
And so when you think about 

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that, that sense of who you are 
as a person, what your sense of 

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purpose or your perspective or 
what are the qualities about you

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that are fantastic that you want
to bring into the way that you 

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work, the way that you lead, the
way that you manage. 

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The answer that comes up to 
these two questions can help you

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to get more grounded, to be more
focused, and then to bring it to

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life. 
One thing I often talk about in 

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my teachings and with coaching 
is this concept of how your 

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being drives your doing. 
And very often we forget that. 

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We focus on the actions. 
What do I need to do? 

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But your being is all about who 
you are. 

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It's not just the what you do, 
it's The Who you are and it's 

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the how you do it. 
What is it that's informing 

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that? 
And that is always in your 

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hands. 
There's a lot you don't have 

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control over. 
But the way that you choose to 

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show up, the way that you choose
to focus your attention, the way

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that you set an intention for 
how you want to be in the 

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relationships you have at work 
and in the different situations 

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you're going to be faced, all of
that you do have control and 

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influence over. 
So when you're you know, we're, 

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we're mid year now we're in, 
we're in June, almost into July.

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And as you're thinking about 
whether or not you're feeling 

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successful as a manager, some 
days are going to be hard, some 

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seasons are going to be hard. 
But we don't want to lose sight 

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of what is it for you? 
What is it that points to, Yes, 

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you're being successful as this 
manager, as this leader, and 

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coming back to those two 
questions, how do you want to be

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remembered and what do you want 
people to say about you? 

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Those two answers will help to 
Orient you and kind of like set 

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your compass for where you're 
headed next. 

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Yes, of course, we've got the 
KPIs, the OK Rs, all of the 

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different performance metrics 
and all of the external things 

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that are measured. 
But more important in my in my 

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book is that you have clarity 
about defining success for you. 

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So that's what I would offer for
you today. 

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I hope you have a really great 
week. 

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Thank you so much for listening 
and I will talk to you next 

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time. 
When you're more effective at 

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work, you're happier in your 
life, and when you're happier in

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your life, you're more effective
at work. 

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I can help. 
Go to my website, kimnickel.com 

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and sign up for a coaching 
consult. 

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It can get better.