1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:16,600 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. 3 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,500 I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well. 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,600 I want to remind you that being a human is not always easy. 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,800 And in the workplace we then also have to work with other 6 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:32,000 humans who have their own challenges, and stories and 7 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,100 preferences and sometimes our communication Styles, don't 8 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:41,200 always line up or the priorities or motivations. 9 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,900 Or the just the things that are happening for us, as individuals 10 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,700 can create a feeling of friction or challenge when we are all 11 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:52,500 working together. I just want to remind you, that 12 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:57,700 that is normal and that's part of the challenge that begins to 13 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:03,600 really get clear when you become a manager and are stepping into 14 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,200 more of a leadership role. Have some Grace for yourself, 15 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,200 have some Grace for the humans that you work with. 16 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,800 And realize that the skill of learning how to work well 17 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,600 together, and how to grow your mindset and your communication 18 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,200 abilities. These are all learnable things 19 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:27,000 and you are good at learning. If that was not true. 20 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,500 You would not have survived to adulthood and because you are 21 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:34,200 listening to this podcast. I know for a fact that you are 22 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,800 good at learning things. Okay. 23 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:40,400 I also wanted to give a shout out to one of my listeners who 24 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,000 found me online. LinkedIn. 25 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,800 And then sent me this really sweet note and said that they 26 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:51,000 recently applied for a manager's role within their current 27 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,700 company and will have an interview soon. 28 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,600 Some of the fears I'm feeling your podcast is helping me 29 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,200 overcome if selected. This will be my first time being 30 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,800 a manager and I will be managing employees older than me, it will 31 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:09,100 be a challenge, but I will be great. 32 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:13,900 And that made my heart feels so good because that's so much of 33 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:19,000 what it's about is you will meet challenges and you will be 34 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,500 great. Not perfect, right? 35 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:26,300 Perfect doesn't actually exist but the mindset and the 36 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:31,600 perspective that you bring to a new challenge is everything. 37 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:36,000 It will change the way that you show up the way you're able to 38 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:43,800 influence others and facilitate. Ang and helped lead people into 39 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:47,800 working while together so much of it is around the mindset. 40 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,800 That is then driving the skills and the behaviors. 41 00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:55,900 And what I often see is when we start to feel afraid, we hold 42 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,600 back. Rather than using that fear as a 43 00:02:58,608 --> 00:03:01,700 way to acknowledge, oh, something new is happening. 44 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,400 I need to pay attention because this might be a bit unfamiliar. 45 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,200 So let's just use that as a signal. 46 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,100 That something new is happening and this is normal. 47 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,100 And for today's episode, I wanted to share with you the 48 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:20,600 audio of the most recent office hours that I hosted it was a 49 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,700 free call. If you're on my email list, you 50 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:27,200 got the invitation. If you're not on my email list, 51 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,500 go to my website, Kim nickel.com and then go to the new managers 52 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:37,400 page, you'll get on to the emailing list that is super 53 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,600 focused on the workplace. And To manage well. 54 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:47,200 And in this last call, I did a breakdown of how to approach 55 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,400 your work to ask that they pay for your professional 56 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,100 development. This is something that I love to 57 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,400 teach. I've talked about it. 58 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,600 A few times on the podcast, but I wanted to share with you the 59 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:04,300 audio from this teaching because it is so applicable and relevant 60 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:08,500 especially at this time of year. So it's still January. 61 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,900 We're Being about what are the professional development goals 62 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,800 for this year for yourself? And for the work that you do, 63 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,100 what is the professional development budget look like. 64 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:24,800 And even if you don't have a formal budget, some companies, 65 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,600 don't some organizations. It's a little bit more ad. 66 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:32,100 Hoc, it's more like if you request it, your manager might 67 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:38,500 have the discretion to allocate dollars for that particular 68 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,000 purpose. I wanted to share with you. 69 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:46,000 The framework that I have used to help my students and my 70 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:51,000 clients ask for things and have their organizations pay for it. 71 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,900 And this is worked with everything from a thirty-six 72 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:57,200 dollar Workshop to a five thousand dollar coaching 73 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,200 package. It has worked in nonprofits and 74 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:05,300 government agencies. It has worked in big Enterprises 75 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,600 organizations with global Workforce and it's worked in 76 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,000 really small. Ups. 77 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,300 And as you listen, I'll tell you why, this is so effective. 78 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,100 And so that is what I wanted to share with you today. 79 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:22,400 Especially because right now, I am offering a group program 80 00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:26,900 where you can work with me directly in a group setting for 81 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:30,800 12 weeks and the focus will be around communication skills. 82 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,600 So if you want to learn how to have uncomfortable conversations 83 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:39,100 and you want to learn to be more direct and you want to get 84 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:42,600 through. Some of those internal obstacles 85 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:47,200 that fear that hesitation, you want to feel more confident in 86 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,300 the way that you communicate in all situations. 87 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:54,200 Then that is a program that you need to come and join and be a 88 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,500 part of because that's what we're focusing on. 89 00:05:56,700 --> 00:06:02,300 And if you imagine even getting 5% better, if you become five 90 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:06,000 percent more confident, in the way that you communicate at work 91 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,500 and your anxiety about it goes down. 92 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:16,100 Five percent that adds up and makes a really big difference in 93 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:21,500 your personal life, your home life and also in your work life. 94 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:27,300 So without further Ado, here is that episode get ready to take 95 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:36,700 notes and I'll see you soon. Hey, welcome everyone. 96 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:42,900 This is my third office hours and today I wanted to talk about 97 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:45,500 how to advocate for yourself at work. 98 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,700 It's something I've talked about before but especially it's come 99 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,800 up very recently around, how do we do that? 100 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,800 Especially if you want to ask your work to pay for 101 00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:00,100 professional development, both one-on-one coaching, I offer. 102 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:05,400 And I'm also offering now a group program and I'll put The 103 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:10,700 details for that into the chat in part because there are so 104 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:15,600 many ways to learn. I am a huge fan of learning 105 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:24,600 together and I am now at a place where I have the ability and 106 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,700 schedule to offer something groupwise. 107 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,600 So I'll talk more about that in a moment but just for now you 108 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,700 have the link into the details and with self-advocacy, that's 109 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:41,200 really A about how do we speak up on behalf of our selves and 110 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:45,400 we do that in small ways and big ways all the time small ways. 111 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,300 When we speak up for ourselves that can look like establishing 112 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:52,100 boundaries around, our availability, it can look like 113 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:55,700 making requests for things that we want that will support us, 114 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,300 whether it's professional development, whether it's a 115 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:03,800 promotion, whether it is some kind of external resource or 116 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,300 extra time. The ability and the willingness 117 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:13,000 to speak up is something that I cannot stress enough is just 118 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,700 like a valuable life skill and super necessary at work, 119 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,700 especially as you rise into higher levels of responsibility. 120 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,300 I also have this very sophisticated chart right over 121 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,700 here. But I wanted to show you because 122 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:29,400 what I find is a lot of folks come to me initially and they've 123 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,100 got a lot of questions and it tends to show up as some kind of 124 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,400 form of Self Doubt. Or uncertainty. 125 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,500 There's often I find with the folks who are drawn to me a 126 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:46,200 feeling of like I really want to do a good job but I'm worried 127 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:52,000 about X Y and Z either. I'm worried about you know like 128 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,200 not being seen as a team player or I'm worried about doing it 129 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,200 wrong or I'm worried about. If I say something to this 130 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,700 person what will they say? And then I have to replay the 131 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,400 you know imaginary conversation over and over again. 132 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:08,000 And All of that starts to get really heavy and starts to hold 133 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,800 us back in the way that we enjoy and experience being at work. 134 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,600 So what we do is we start with where you are and then we move 135 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:23,100 you to a place where you feel a lot more trust in yourself so 136 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:28,200 that you're making decisions from a place of really stable 137 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:32,500 Solid Ground. And for a lot of us when we 138 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:37,000 first start Rising into higher levels of responsibility, it can 139 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:41,800 feel weird because now it's like I'm doing things that I've never 140 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:46,600 exactly done before. But I'm also feeling kind of 141 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,900 more exposed like because yours more, visibility more people 142 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:54,600 looking to you to know things to have answers to make decisions. 143 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,500 And then there's a lot of other personalities that we start to 144 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,300 have to navigate as we start to go up. 145 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,600 And I find to with a lot of organizations, is just difficult 146 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:08,100 to support new managers at those early stages, like for a lot of 147 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,100 reasons. But I see this in every 148 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:12,800 industry, so I think it's kind of a universal thing. 149 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:18,000 So, Anyway that's sort of a little bit of basically the work 150 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,800 that I'm doing and with the group program, it's going to be 151 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,600 around. How do we get from the place of 152 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:27,000 uncertainty especially around communication skills, especially 153 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,200 around having tough conversations to get you to a 154 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,400 place where you're not as much in avoidance and fear and kind 155 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,000 of overwhelm and worry and are actually feeling more grounded 156 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,200 about the decisions you're making even if like you've never 157 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,200 done it before. Right. 158 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:53,200 So with all of that said, I want to share Some perspective with 159 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:57,000 you, this is from a workshop. I did late last year around 160 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:01,500 self-advocacy and you already know these things about me but 161 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:06,800 I'm a coach and that I host the new manager podcast and this 162 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:12,100 idea of you don't get what you don't ask for is one that I see 163 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,900 come up a lot that people will talk about and kind of a casual 164 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:19,000 way, but there are so many reasons why we don't ask for 165 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,100 things. And especially like, so 166 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,500 speaking, you know for myself personally my mom is from the 167 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,700 Philippines. My dad is from the Midwest. 168 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:31,100 They met, you know, in Manila like many many years ago and 169 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:35,600 then came to the US, but from my mom's side and kind of like the 170 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,200 Immigrant experience. There's such a message that I 171 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:44,800 grew up with of like you just have to make do Right, like 172 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,600 don't ask just make, do you know? 173 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,400 And I think for a lot of us to there might be a feeling of, you 174 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,000 know, I don't want to bother people. 175 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,000 So I'm not going to ask or I said, I should just figure it 176 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,200 out on myself. I'm not going to ask and yet the 177 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,600 ability to ask for what you need, and what you want is 178 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,300 really important because when you're also in a manager role, 179 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:11,500 sometimes your job will be to advocate for to speak up on 180 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:16,700 behalf of other people. That's your team or the customer 181 00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:22,300 or the client or an idea. So advocacy is the skill of 182 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:26,300 speaking up on behalf of somebody self-advocacy, is when 183 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:30,800 you speak up for yourself and the Studies have shown to you 184 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:35,100 for a lot of folks, especially women much easier to speak up 185 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:41,000 for others, but really reluctant to speak up for yourself, which 186 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,700 I think is, interesting, right? Like, can be Be comfortable to 187 00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:47,100 speak up for somebody else but not so much for oneself. 188 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,800 So what I want to share with you is this idea that a small change 189 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:57,700 comes from like a small shift, can create a big change. 190 00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:02,200 And so when we learn more about self-advocacy and how to speak 191 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,900 up and ask for what you want, we start with the small things so 192 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,400 that you feel prepared for the big things. 193 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,400 And this is often counterintuitive because folks, 194 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,900 sometimes think All the Small Things don't matter that much. 195 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,100 Much. But that's the perfect time to 196 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:22,000 start practicing the skill of speaking up and asking for what 197 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,600 you need, because the ultimate goal is that we want you to 198 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,900 become a person who can speak up for yourself when you want to. 199 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:38,200 So it feels like it's a choice rather than like you have no 200 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,100 options or you have options but you don't like them at, all 201 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,900 right? We want it to be strategic and 202 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,400 intentional. Annal, when you're able to speak 203 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,800 up for yourself. So we're going to start with 204 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,400 something low risk, high value and that's professional 205 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,900 development. That is because what, you know, 206 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:59,000 most organizations already understand about professional 207 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,100 development, some of them, you know, just don't have a lot of 208 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,300 internal resources but it's a conversation that's already 209 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,200 happening. So one thing to think about is 210 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:13,600 that there might already be budget set aside for this And if 211 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,300 that's true then the money needs to be allocated for that 212 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,100 purpose. If it isn't, that's a problem. 213 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,300 Like, you know this, if you've ever had responsibility for a 214 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:27,400 budget, the budget is set with a certain amount of money for a 215 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,000 certain kind of thing. And if it doesn't get used for 216 00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:34,300 that, kind of thing that can actually be problematic. 217 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,100 I've also encountered organizations where there wasn't 218 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,000 a formal, professional development budget, but a 219 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,700 manager had discretion Canary budget available that they then 220 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:49,900 allocated to someone's professional development. 221 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,100 The other thing is to realize that your manager or your work, 222 00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:59,100 they might be delighted that you thought about this and are 223 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:03,700 taking the initiative because it's one less thing for them to 224 00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:07,200 do. You're helping them back when I 225 00:15:07,208 --> 00:15:10,500 was in manager, I had like 18, direct reports. 226 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:13,500 I could not keep track of all of their professional development 227 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,000 needs. So someone came to me and said, 228 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,200 hey, there's this course, I want to take or there's this resource 229 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,000 that I want, you know, here's how it works. 230 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,200 This is it costs, what can we do? 231 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,100 It would be such an easier conversation for me to have 232 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,900 because they were initiating it and really kind of taking the 233 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,500 lead and kind of demonstrating that they were really engaged 234 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:41,400 and taking full responsibility for how they were guiding their 235 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,300 own Career Development, which is great. 236 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,900 I think that's a thing to you. That sometimes we miss is, we 237 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:50,100 think, oh, if I'm asking for something, it must mean 238 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,300 something bad about me. Like, I can't handle things. 239 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,500 On my own. And what I consider thinking 240 00:15:55,500 --> 00:16:00,400 instead is the perspective of, oh, I am being a leader by 241 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:05,100 identifying, you know, an area of development, identifying a 242 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:07,900 resource. And then being very proactive 243 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,100 about saying, okay, like this is the resource that will help me 244 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,000 get to you know, get this skill or get this, you know 245 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,400 advancement. Like that's a good thing, it's 246 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,000 not like, oh so sorry, I'm not like good enough. 247 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,800 It's like, oh no, like All right, like let's handle this. 248 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,500 You know, here's how we're going to do it very different 249 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:30,100 perspective. And then, the other nice thing 250 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:33,100 is when you think about coming to your organization or manager 251 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:36,400 with a request, make it easy for them to say yes. 252 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,900 And you'll do that by thinking about, you know, what do you 253 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:44,000 think they care most about? How does your request aligned 254 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,500 with the team goals or with the organizational goals? 255 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:50,300 So if you're, you know, if you think your manager is going to 256 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,300 be worried about how much time will this take. 257 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:56,700 Then you want to think about how will this actually end up. 258 00:16:56,700 --> 00:17:01,500 Saving time, I had one student who wanted to do a group program 259 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:05,000 with me and she went to her boss and her boss says how much time 260 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,800 will this take? And she said, are you kidding 261 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,599 me? This is going to save us so much 262 00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:12,200 time down the road because when I learned how to do this, as we 263 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:16,800 grow and onboard more people, I will be able to get them up to 264 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:21,200 speed so much faster. He's like, oh, you're right 265 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,200 great. Let's do it. 266 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:27,099 It so think about how what you want to ask for aligns with what 267 00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:29,800 the decision maker wants. And also kind of what the bigger 268 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,700 picture goals are. That's also part of being 269 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:36,200 strategic, in your thinking, which is how I look at the big 270 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,900 picture and how all these different things are connected 271 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,000 and then how to think about yourself when you're making an 272 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,600 ask. So as I was just saying, you 273 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,400 want to see yourself as being proactive, you're taking 274 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,300 responsibility, you're presenting in a well-thought-out 275 00:17:54,300 --> 00:18:00,000 solution, these are good things. This is not about like why 276 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,800 should I should already know this? 277 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:07,300 No, no, that's that's not the mindset to bring into that 278 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:12,300 situation and conversation. Realized you, you're signaling 279 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:16,100 your ambition and desire for growth again. 280 00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,200 This is a good thing to say that. 281 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,400 Hey, I'm thinking about how I need to grow. 282 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,200 What I want to be able to do, this is going to help me get 283 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,600 there, faster. That's a good thing. 284 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,100 And realize that you benefit no matter what they say. 285 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,500 So sometimes I have my students or clients will tell me. 286 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,500 I didn't want to ask because I'm afraid they would. 287 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:39,300 They would say no and I didn't, I thought I don't want to feel 288 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:42,400 bad if they said no. But what's incredible is that 289 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:47,200 just by speaking up, you benefit in at least two ways? 290 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:53,500 So number one, you benefit by becoming the person Who can 291 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:59,900 speak up with confidence and the other way that you benefit is 292 00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:06,600 you learn something about your manager, and the workplace based 293 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,200 on how they respond. Because again, kind of big 294 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,600 picture thinking, I like to think of your work is a where 295 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,900 it's a, where you are and you want to be deciding, is this 296 00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:21,600 still where I want to be? Is this the environment are the 297 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:26,000 ecosystem that I see? Still want to be in, I want to 298 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:30,000 understand kind of where am I? And this will give you some 299 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,700 information so that you can think about your own future and 300 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:38,900 your own desire for what you want next kind of as a side note 301 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:41,100 to just you might have also been seeing. 302 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,200 There are a lot of layoffs happening in the tech industry 303 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:51,200 right now and it's always this reminder of oh right like our 304 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,000 work life is always at. Temporary part of our life and 305 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,200 sometimes we get to decide when we and sometimes we don't, but 306 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:05,000 when you think about what you want, while you're there, like, 307 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,200 what will that look like? How will that go? 308 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,900 It's a good thing to have some information about Okay, so 309 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:14,100 here's what this looks like in terms of the road map, when 310 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,400 you're asking for professional development. 311 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,700 First, you want to get clear about the, what, what are you 312 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:23,600 going to be asking for? So start by making a list of all 313 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:28,200 of the things that interest, you courses, conferences, coaching, 314 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,200 programs, books, whatever it can be everything from like a 315 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:38,200 thirty, five dollar, you know, online course to like a 36 316 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,800 hundred dollar. All Conference thing like get 317 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:46,100 the whole range then you want to decide why? 318 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,900 So from the what's you choose the why connect the thing you 319 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:55,000 want with the skills? You'll develop and why it 320 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:01,500 matters for their for your job, for your growth, for your team, 321 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:05,000 or company Mission. And do not expect this to be 322 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,800 obvious to your manager, because even if it is obvious to them, 323 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,800 they still want to see that, you thought it through and that you 324 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,900 have a plan that you're being strategic about it. 325 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,700 So first, all the different, what's then choose something and 326 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:23,200 explore, and get clear about the, why why this thing as 327 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,700 opposed to something else. This is also a great like 328 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:30,900 sometimes because I sell so much one-on-one coaching, people will 329 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:35,200 say, oh you know my I wanted to do one-on-one coaching and my 330 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,400 manager was like oh why not just take a, you know, a course. 331 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,000 So you want to think through? Why would you want one-on-one 332 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,100 coaching as opposed to a course? And some of the things people 333 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:48,000 come up with do this, like these cook em. 334 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,300 You mean our friend and some of the things people come up with 335 00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,600 is, oh well I want individual attention. 336 00:21:54,900 --> 00:22:00,100 I want to have like someone that I'm engaging with as I go as 337 00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:03,600 opposed to kind of doing a passive consumption kind of 338 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:09,000 thing, you know, when you think through what you want and why, 339 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,600 then you Can articulate it to them so that they can see it as 340 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,500 well. Right now, as I mentioned 341 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,400 earlier, I have one-on-one coaching but I'm also now 342 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,300 opening up a group. So the difference might be 343 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:24,900 around like price. So for some folks, the group 344 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:29,200 program will fit more easily and the professional development 345 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,100 budget that they have available for some others. 346 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:36,200 It's going to be more like I want a group learning experience 347 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,900 where it's not just me. But I'm also meeting other 348 00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:43,800 people who Are also new managers so that I can learn in more of a 349 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,200 community environment. The other thing is that coaching 350 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,500 with me, one on one right now is six months with, so that's like 351 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:54,700 a good chunk of time. And for people who love that, 352 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:58,900 it's the best thing ever. And for some folks, they're just 353 00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:02,300 like I just need 12 weeks focused on communication skills 354 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:05,000 and that's it. So it's a question of scope. 355 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:08,600 What is the scope for the Learning and Development that 356 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,000 you want? Then finally, once we're clear 357 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,600 on the what and the, why then you want to think about the when 358 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:20,400 when will I bring this conversation to my manager or to 359 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,800 my HR business partner? For example, you might bring it 360 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:28,700 up at the start or the end of a specific month or a quarter. 361 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,600 You might bring it up at performance review season. 362 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,400 But plan it in advance, I have one client who's working with me 363 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,900 now and she's like, I seated this with my manager. 364 00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:43,600 Six months ago, she started talking with her manager about 365 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:48,200 wanting to work with a coach about why she wanted it saying. 366 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,300 You know, I don't want it right now, but that's something I'm 367 00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,900 thinking about. I'm going to do some research 368 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,100 and she just initiated the conversation and started the 369 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:59,700 planning way in advance. And now we're working together, 370 00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:02,800 which is pretty cool. And the actual fun kind of bonus 371 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,300 thing of that is when she brought the proposal to her 372 00:24:05,300 --> 00:24:09,600 manager, her manager said, oh wait, does this lady also work 373 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,000 with groups? Groups, because I've been 374 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,200 looking for someone who can do a communication skills Workshop, 375 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,300 you know, for our whole team and she's like, I don't know, go 376 00:24:17,300 --> 00:24:22,600 talk to her. So he was thrilled that his team 377 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,800 member had introduced him to me because he had actually been 378 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,600 thinking about, oh, well, we need someone to help the team 379 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,100 with this particular skill set. So realize that when you're 380 00:24:33,100 --> 00:24:37,300 speaking up for yourself there are other people that benefit 381 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,900 not just you my other Sorry around. 382 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:44,800 This is years ago. I had a client come to me and 383 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,400 she went to, you know, wanted to work with me and she went to her 384 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:51,000 manager and her manager was a very small start-up, right? 385 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,200 So they didn't even have an HR person. 386 00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:56,700 It was very informal and she said, yeah, there's this coach 387 00:24:56,700 --> 00:24:59,700 that I want to work with it cost this much, you know, can what do 388 00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:00,700 you think? Can we do this? 389 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,800 And her manager was like, yeah, okay, that sounds great. 390 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,100 Like I'm sold, do it. And then she said, wait a 391 00:25:06,108 --> 00:25:08,500 minute. We should also be thinking about 392 00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:12,100 what is our policy? As a company for Learning and 393 00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:15,200 Development. We're at the stage now where we 394 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,600 should actually have a policy that affects everybody. 395 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:22,100 Not just me. So instead of just sort of 396 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:26,100 saying oh great like let's do it, she initiated a conversation 397 00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:29,800 and as a result the company decided that they were going to 398 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,600 allocate I think was like a thousand dollars for as a 399 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,500 learning stipend for everyone in the company. 400 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,100 That makes me excited. That feels so good. 401 00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:46,000 When you start to learn how to feel comfortable, speaking up 402 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:50,800 for yourself, there are so many ways that it can benefit others. 403 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,100 So this is why it works. I've seen this work in startups, 404 00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:58,400 I've seen this work in large organizations, I've seen this 405 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,700 work in philanthropy organizations, like so many 406 00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,400 different kinds of situations. And the reason it works is 407 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,400 because you're bringing a solution. 408 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,300 You're coming from this. I'm on the same team mindset. 409 00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,800 This is also really different. You know, if you think for a lot 410 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:20,000 of us the first experience we had of asking for things was 411 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,300 when we were little kids and we were asking for a grown-up, 412 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,000 somebody who had a lot more power and a lot more discretion 413 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:32,000 to just say yes or no. And so when we start advocating 414 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,000 for ourselves as adults, sometimes we still feel like 415 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,100 little kids inside like, oh, I don't Want to ask, you know, 416 00:26:39,100 --> 00:26:41,800 because they might say no we still feel like this little kid 417 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:46,000 rather than the mindset of hey we're on the same team, here's 418 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,000 what I'd like to have happen. What do you think? 419 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,300 What can we do? How do we make this work much 420 00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:57,300 more collaborative and much more kind of even levels and because 421 00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:01,100 of this approach, you're going to make it easy for them to feel 422 00:27:01,100 --> 00:27:07,400 good about saying yes. Such a subtle thing, but it 423 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:12,500 makes such a big difference. So I want to start to land us 424 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:15,600 with this thought to it's okay to want things. 425 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:20,300 The smallest part of you is worthy of being cared for and 426 00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:23,200 valued and that's what you're doing. 427 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:28,300 When you're speaking up on behalf of yourself, it's an act 428 00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:34,600 of self recognition of holding your own desires with, like a 429 00:27:34,608 --> 00:27:38,500 sense of worth. Value and seeing what you can do 430 00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:44,400 in order to take care of that. So self-advocacy is a skill, 431 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:49,400 it's both, you know, a mindset. It's also a communication skill 432 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,300 in the way that you do it. And what's nice is that? 433 00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,900 Because it's a skill. It's something you can learn and 434 00:27:54,900 --> 00:27:58,200 get better at. And with every skill, there's 435 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,000 kind of the technical part of it, like the Frameworks and 436 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,100 strategies, but then there's the human part of it, which is our 437 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:09,400 own Here's our own self, doubt our own hesitation and that's 438 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,500 where with the coaching that I offer. 439 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,600 It's a lot about. How can we understand the 440 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:18,900 mindset that will allow you to, then move forward and taking the 441 00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:21,500 action. This is also, what helps us 442 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:26,300 bridge the gap between? I know I need to but I just 443 00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:30,200 don't want to because I feel too uncomfortable about it. 444 00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:33,700 We can have all the knowledge in the world but if we're not in a 445 00:28:33,708 --> 00:28:37,400 mindset that lets us move, All right, with that knowledge. 446 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:42,500 Then it just kind of sits there. So that is what I wanted to 447 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:49,000 share today with respect to self-advocacy and the workplace 448 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,500 and how we speak up for ourselves. 449 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:55,700 And some of the reasons why we don't, I think that if you've 450 00:28:55,700 --> 00:29:00,100 ever heard that phrase, what got you here, won't get you there 451 00:29:00,900 --> 00:29:05,500 that starts to become really Vivid when we rise. 452 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,300 In two levels of leadership and management. 453 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,500 Because for a lot of us what works really well when we're 454 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:16,200 individual contributors is being really good at executing things 455 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:21,200 being really skillful in a specific function of the thing 456 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,100 we're good at. But then once you're managing 457 00:29:24,100 --> 00:29:27,800 people, it's a different job. You're now managing 458 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,500 personalities, you're managing attention. 459 00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:35,200 You're having to make decisions around resources that not. 460 00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:38,700 We'll be happy with it's so hard. 461 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:42,300 If you have a part of your heart that is just like I want 462 00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:44,300 everyone to feel good and be happy. 463 00:29:44,900 --> 00:29:51,200 The core of that is really great but that then can really bind 464 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:55,600 you up when you are rising into levels where you might need to 465 00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:00,300 make decisions or have conversations or give feedback, 466 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,900 that might be hard for somebody else to hear. 467 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,500 So learning how to deal with all of. 468 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,900 Those emotions, both your own and the emotions of others 469 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:16,000 becomes a really important skill to develop and have and I say 470 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,200 Dana had to hop out, awesome, super good to see her. 471 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,700 Okay? So I want to pause now that was 472 00:30:21,700 --> 00:30:25,300 a lot of information and it was kind of a lot very quickly, but 473 00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:31,200 I want to just check in and see what questions or thoughts. 474 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,500 Anybody has either on this topic or anything else? 475 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,300 It's like very, very open guidelines here on what you want 476 00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:52,100 to ask about. What's coming up? 477 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,400 Oh I see Dana's putting in her ear buds. 478 00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:58,700 Hi But you're still on mute, though. 479 00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:02,100 Sorry. Well, well, will get it 480 00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:06,800 eventually, right? I was going to give other people 481 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,800 a chance to chime in but you know, part of why I love you is 482 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:15,100 that everything that you say resonates with me like to some 483 00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:20,300 degree when I. So you sent out an email about 484 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,900 joining the group sessions, the group, peer sessions for new 485 00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:28,100 managers and I was super excited about that and then I remembered 486 00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:30,700 that you did 10. One coaching. 487 00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:33,300 And so, you know, I reached out and I said, hey, Will how much 488 00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:34,800 does that cost? Because maybe that's a more a 489 00:31:34,808 --> 00:31:37,900 better option for me. It was a little, probably a 490 00:31:37,908 --> 00:31:41,300 little bit out of our wheelhouse in terms of price, but the 491 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:45,600 group, one seemed great. And so, but before I was like, 492 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,100 hmm, really scared and really nervous to bring this to my CEO. 493 00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:51,500 He's a very supportive and receptive to everything I want 494 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:56,300 to do, but because I had had an issue with a previous person, 495 00:31:56,300 --> 00:32:01,300 that's directly reported to me. Person has since left. 496 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:05,300 I'm now, starting over with a new person and I'm not very 497 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:10,300 confrontational, I'm not very direct all the time and, you 498 00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:13,500 know, yesterday or Wednesday, I had mentioned some things I had 499 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:16,600 happened and I was like, this would be great, but I started 500 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,700 second-guessing myself. The fact that like, I should be 501 00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:24,700 able to do this without having, like, without having a support 502 00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:27,300 or without having this network, or having to take a course or 503 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:30,700 whatever happens, you do that. And then I just said, Screw it 504 00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:34,700 and asked him anyway and he was very supportive about it will 505 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:36,300 see that they can find the money for it. 506 00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:39,900 But it's just that like self-doubt that like you think 507 00:32:39,900 --> 00:32:43,400 you should know it and a lot of people just fumble through life 508 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,700 and they don't have these resources, so it's kind of great 509 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,400 when you do. Yeah. 510 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,500 Thank you so much for sharing that and I'm so glad that you 511 00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,800 asked for what you wanted and that you spoke up. 512 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,900 And I think it is really true like especially what you just 513 00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:01,100 said around. Like, for a lot of us, we can 514 00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:03,800 kind of stumble around on our own and we can actually do 515 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,200 really well like that strategy works for a lot of things for a 516 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:13,800 long time, but it's not required. 517 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,600 Like, like one of my clients when we first started work 518 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,600 working together, she's like, you know, everyone tells me, 519 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,400 I'll figure it out eventually, but I would rather just pay you 520 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,900 to help me now. And I kind of loved that because 521 00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:28,900 I'm like, yeah, that's available. 522 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:35,400 You know, and there's no reason why we should expect to 523 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,000 automatically know how to do this stuff. 524 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,600 I think, for a lot of us being Scrappy and really self 525 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:48,300 resourcing works very well, especially when we're individual 526 00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:52,100 contributors and we kind of have this is the scope of work. 527 00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:56,900 That is mind to learn and do an Excel at But then, once we 528 00:33:56,900 --> 00:34:02,600 switch over into people managing it, that, that same skill can 529 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:08,100 actually hold us back because communication and relationships 530 00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:11,600 and building trust and all of the that that's like the 531 00:34:11,607 --> 00:34:14,699 relational art of human interaction. 532 00:34:14,699 --> 00:34:18,600 And what's so interesting is, I see this in every industry. 533 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,300 Any place you have two or more humans working together, you're 534 00:34:22,300 --> 00:34:25,699 going to bump into some of these challenges and it can just be Be 535 00:34:25,699 --> 00:34:31,600 a lot easier to have a dedicated space to do Active Learning, 536 00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:34,100 right? Like books are awesome. 537 00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:38,500 You know, like courses are awesome but like active 538 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:41,600 Community Learning space. I found there's just there's 539 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:45,800 something in it that you don't get like you don't get from a 540 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,100 book. So yeah. 541 00:34:50,699 --> 00:34:52,699 Super good. Anything else? 542 00:34:52,699 --> 00:34:55,400 Anyone has that they want to ask or share? 543 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,800 It is, hey Anthony. Hey, I'll share a real quick. 544 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,600 I mean, it's a, I mean, it's kind of like off topic but in 545 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,900 the same kind of right? Okay, let's go there. 546 00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:14,500 I worth nobody. Just in terms of, I went through 547 00:35:14,500 --> 00:35:19,600 a stretch last year where I had like wanted. 548 00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:21,700 I didn't know like that I needed even coaching. 549 00:35:21,700 --> 00:35:26,800 Until I like, was it a point where, you know, I just started 550 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,200 looking at courses and things of that nature and I was and just 551 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,200 to bring it to a really personal point of view. 552 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,900 Like I remember it was like three weeks leading up to 553 00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:39,500 actually like that like the sign of date and I was like, it's 554 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:42,500 crazy. How like I couldn't See the 555 00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,900 value and advocating for myself with that time. 556 00:35:45,700 --> 00:35:48,200 And how much like I was even in tears? 557 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,800 Like, I cried almost like we every day for a week before 558 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,200 actually, like signed up to help myself and it was like a huge 559 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,800 turning point for me. But like so those are the kind 560 00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,900 of things that we're kind of coming up when I was thinking 561 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:02,300 about it. And, you know, not even like 562 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,000 because I just never even thought to ask for any help 563 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,500 ever, and I really pissed. I kind of resonate what you're 564 00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:13,900 saying. Just like, yeah, I don't know. 565 00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:15,900 It's a lot of things. I mean I'm Filipino to so I just 566 00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:19,500 want to put that out there so I get it the whole immigrant 567 00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:24,100 experience to. But yeah it's just a always in 568 00:36:24,100 --> 00:36:27,200 that what you were saying earlier about just being in that 569 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,400 space of when you're just like isolated to perform tasks like 570 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:36,400 get I was really good at like just doing my job, put my head 571 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,400 down, stay in my skill. And and like I didn't really 572 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,600 have problems often like managing or talking to other 573 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:48,500 people but you know I started realizing more the limitations 574 00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:52,800 that I had by kind of staying small in that space of just like 575 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:57,700 I internalized a lot of things I and this is just obviously a lot 576 00:36:57,700 --> 00:37:00,600 of work and in terms of work and spiritual work on top of that to 577 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:06,100 come these realizations. But yeah, just just like Didn't 578 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,700 feel comfortable that I could be vulnerable in the spaces that I 579 00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:12,900 was in it, especially in the work environment, that wasn't. 580 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,700 Yeah, let's keep it short. Well and thank you so much for 581 00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:20,500 that share because I know they're like, I'm I know that 582 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:24,200 what you just shared will resonate with many other people 583 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:29,800 and I'm curious when you think back to you right before you, 584 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,600 decided to reach out for help when like you were just like, no 585 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,100 I should enter. I can't. 586 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,500 What do you think? Tipped you off? 587 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,600 And they do say no, like I'm going to do this. 588 00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:44,800 Honestly, it was like I just didn't know, I just hit a point 589 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,500 where I couldn't. It was just so much. 590 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,200 I guess so much like crying and like, so much of that. 591 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,900 You know, I just hit a point where I just go. 592 00:37:56,300 --> 00:37:59,800 I got a bet on myself, you know. I don't know that. 593 00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:01,700 Yes. And it was like kind of the 594 00:38:01,700 --> 00:38:06,800 first time I had spent money on classes to like gain skills, 595 00:38:07,300 --> 00:38:09,600 right? Like to improve my skills. 596 00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:15,600 But never like for like life, like life skills or anything in 597 00:38:15,607 --> 00:38:19,800 terms of energy mindset stuff. Like I had never, I always loved 598 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,500 that stuff but I'd never actually doubled down on it, you 599 00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:27,100 know, and actually been like, I'm going to do this all the way 600 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:30,100 instead of intellectualizing it. I actually want to integrate 601 00:38:30,100 --> 00:38:33,300 this into my life, but I didn't even know that much at that 602 00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,800 time. When I was signing up, I just 603 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:38,300 know. Like I was just, you know, place 604 00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:42,200 where I was kind of like, I knew I had to take a lead on some 605 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,900 level and that leap has led me to, like, brush up against other 606 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:49,000 things where I'm like, I gotta take another Leaf but that was 607 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,200 kind of an initial Gateway. I say, yeah, growth growth 608 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:58,700 begets growth, right? Like there's always a new thing 609 00:38:58,700 --> 00:39:01,500 to learn. So I love that what you said 610 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:05,200 about trusting yourself and betting on yourself because that 611 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:13,100 never ends, you know, Yeah. So that's also make me think so 612 00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:15,800 a couple things I want to share with everybody and also for 613 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,700 those who are going to be watching the replay, so I'll 614 00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:21,700 talk a little bit just about the difference between one-on-one 615 00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:25,600 coaching and the program. The program is going to start on 616 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,400 February 14th. So it's starting in just a few 617 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:32,400 weeks. I have priced it in a way that 618 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,400 should hopefully work with a lot of professional development 619 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,300 budgets. I will share this screen a 620 00:39:39,308 --> 00:39:39,800 little bit. Bit. 621 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:45,500 So you can see, we're talking a lot around communication skills 622 00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:49,400 and also, as I was talking before, how you're thinking and 623 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,800 feeling so that you can use those communication skills in 624 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,900 situations that require boundaries, speaking up 625 00:39:56,900 --> 00:40:01,500 advocating for yourself and also managing up. 626 00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:07,000 So as you go up, you have more people there to manage and 627 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,400 sometimes that requires a different way of thinking. 628 00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:14,200 Aang how to manage up and also because it's a live group. 629 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,300 Then we're also going to work on what you bring into our group 630 00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:21,000 calls. We're going to meet for 12 631 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,200 weeks, the calls will be recorded. 632 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,700 So if you're not able to join for some reason, you'll be able 633 00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:29,500 to watch the replay, but we'll get to have more conversations 634 00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:32,800 as a group, the pricing, it's a thousand dollars. 635 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:38,000 If you're able to sign up by the 22nd, which is Sunday, regular 636 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:43,500 pricing is Thousand to fifty and then for like my last call, 637 00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:46,500 like, you know, what time is it? Oh no, I need to slide out. 638 00:40:46,500 --> 00:40:51,500 Now, it's 1,500 if you wait till the very last minute and there 639 00:40:51,500 --> 00:40:54,000 are a couple of questions. I'll ask you it, so that I get a 640 00:40:54,008 --> 00:40:58,300 sense of who you are, what's going on and then the payment 641 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:01,100 will be through PayPal. So if your work is going to pay 642 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,000 for it, then you can use the PayPal link for the corporate 643 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:10,000 credit card, or passport or forward that to your, your Work 644 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:14,100 like Finance person with some of my clients, what they do is they 645 00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:16,700 pay for it out of pocket, and then submit the receipt for 646 00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:18,800 reimbursement. It just depends on how your 647 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,600 organization works. But this is, I feel like one of 648 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:28,000 the missing pieces in leadership development, both specifically, 649 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,000 when you become a new manager, because there's just feel like 650 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,500 this, this stage is very underserved. 651 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:39,600 And the sense of to like, I like to imagine, if you even just had 652 00:41:39,700 --> 00:41:46,500 add 5% more confidence and 5% less anxiety. and you got that 653 00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:52,100 like, every week that would make a pretty awesome difference in 654 00:41:52,100 --> 00:41:55,800 the experience and shape, not just of your work life, but like 655 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,500 of your life life, and one thing I've been noticing this week is 656 00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:03,100 a lot of my one-on-one clients have been telling me that their 657 00:42:03,100 --> 00:42:07,300 relationships are improving, not just work, but also home because 658 00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:09,800 one of my clients is like, it's really nice to have a place to 659 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,500 talk about the work stuff because then I don't bring it 660 00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:16,200 into my home relationships and we can talk about other Things? 661 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,900 Because I've got like a place for that conversation. 662 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,800 So that is one of the other benefits in terms of having more 663 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:28,600 energy to connect, not on work stuff with friends, family. 664 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,100 And people that you really care about, you get to be more 665 00:42:31,100 --> 00:42:34,200 present for them. When, you know, that all the 666 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,500 stuff that's kind of sitting on you for work. 667 00:42:36,700 --> 00:42:40,600 You have a place every week to address that in handle that My 668 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:45,300 one-on-one coaching is $5000, it, six months, we meet for 20 669 00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:47,800 sessions. It's just you and me for some 670 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:51,800 folks, that is the perfect way to work and if your work covers 671 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,400 the cost of that in whole or in part even better. 672 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,800 So my clients like to pay for that out of pocket and just not 673 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,300 address their work at all. They just like, I like that's 674 00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:04,900 for me but with the one-on-one coaching but also includes 675 00:43:05,100 --> 00:43:06,900 whatever you want to bring into the session. 676 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:10,700 When we are focusing on the group, Graham. 677 00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:13,100 We're going to be a little bit more focused on the work stuff 678 00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:16,100 because that's what we really want to help build the mindset 679 00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:19,700 and the skill set for. But, you know, we're whole 680 00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:24,100 humans in every context. So you can't address work and 681 00:43:24,100 --> 00:43:27,100 communication without including the perspective that you are a 682 00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:31,900 whole person and that effects the way that you are at work. 683 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,400 Yeah. So that is that any other 684 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:40,100 thoughts perspectives questions? Anybody wants to share? 685 00:43:41,100 --> 00:43:44,300 While we're still here before I release us for a Friday 686 00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:53,200 afternoon. And everyone is on mute right 687 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:54,800 now. So if you have, if you have a 688 00:43:54,808 --> 00:43:56,300 share, you'll have to unmute yourself. 689 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,600 Sorry, I'm, did you say that everyone? 690 00:43:58,900 --> 00:44:01,600 So I do you say that there's role playing in the group 691 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:07,800 sessions, not necessarily it kind of depends, like on the, on 692 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,900 the on where people are at and if they want it, but I don't 693 00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:12,500 often I don't. Well, here's what I want to 694 00:44:12,508 --> 00:44:14,800 answer. I don't really do role playing 695 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:19,000 per se, but I do do the thing where it's like, if there's a 696 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,700 conversation you need to have. Let's practice. 697 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:26,300 Saying the words now. So the first time you actually 698 00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:28,300 say the words is not, when you're in that live 699 00:44:28,300 --> 00:44:31,500 conversation, we want to get the conversation out of your head 700 00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:34,700 and into your body. So you feel comfortable saying 701 00:44:34,700 --> 00:44:38,900 things like, okay, I want to offer you some feedback, it 702 00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:41,300 might be kind of hard to hear, but I think it's important that 703 00:44:41,300 --> 00:44:45,000 I just tell you directly is that okay, write what you want to 704 00:44:45,008 --> 00:44:47,900 practice saying that. So you have it in your mouth and 705 00:44:47,900 --> 00:44:51,400 in your heart before you try to say it for the first time live 706 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:56,200 in the Station. And with a component of this 707 00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:01,100 unit segment manage, you mentioned managing up. 708 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,100 What if you wanted to, I guess it's the same thing advocate for 709 00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:08,700 yourself or like a promotion or anything like that. 710 00:45:08,700 --> 00:45:11,800 Like, some of a lot of these things that you mentioned are 711 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:15,400 things that, like, come up in my head, you know, saying something 712 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,400 to someone directly and getting the word out and not like 713 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,900 freaking myself out. Because I have to say that or 714 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,900 trying to Tone it down because it's confrontational or you 715 00:45:24,900 --> 00:45:27,300 know, advocating for a promotion at work. 716 00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:30,700 So I think those are things that interest me but like, definitely 717 00:45:30,700 --> 00:45:34,400 communication and being direct which seems like that will be 718 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,500 addressed. Yeah, absolutely. 719 00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:39,700 That's the heart of it and the reason I include managing up is 720 00:45:39,700 --> 00:45:42,900 because we sometimes forget that that's also people management. 721 00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:45,800 So that's also managing expectations. 722 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,500 That's also how to say no to someone who has more power than 723 00:45:48,500 --> 00:45:51,300 you. That's also learning how to 724 00:45:51,300 --> 00:45:54,900 communicate. In the way that is effective for 725 00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:57,500 them. So just as one simple example, 726 00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:02,300 kind of its like the higher you go, the more bullet point e and 727 00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:05,600 the less information people want, right? 728 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,200 So instead of saying, okay, let me explain to you, you know, why 729 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,400 we're doing all of this. The higher you go there? 730 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,700 Like no. Like if I need the backstory, 731 00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:15,100 I'll ask you. But I trust you and your 732 00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:18,500 judgment, just tell me what you think we need to do. 733 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,000 What is, what is it that you need from me? 734 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:25,500 So, the car, Verse ation starts to change when you're talking up 735 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:30,000 when we're talking to the folks that are reporting up to us. 736 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:34,100 A lot of what we're trying to do is understand what do they need 737 00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:38,700 to see and think about in order to go forward so that might be 738 00:46:38,700 --> 00:46:40,000 okay. If there's something happening 739 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,200 up here, let me translate that so that you know how that 740 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,200 affects us as a team. Right? 741 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:50,900 Or it's around understanding. How will you be evaluated? 742 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,800 So that it's not a big surprise when we do our performance 743 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:59,700 reviews it's about helping people have the resources or the 744 00:46:59,700 --> 00:47:02,700 relation like helping relationships, get smooth. 745 00:47:02,700 --> 00:47:04,600 And this is also where, you know, you're going to have lots 746 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,200 of different personalities that report out to you. 747 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,700 So learning how to communicate and work with different. 748 00:47:09,700 --> 00:47:14,200 Humans is really huge. But then learning how to work 749 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,700 with your manager. And that sense of what did, what 750 00:47:17,700 --> 00:47:19,900 did, what is, what are they trying to do? 751 00:47:20,900 --> 00:47:23,700 And then when you're working with them, how can you think 752 00:47:23,700 --> 00:47:26,600 about, how can I work with them in a way that makes their job 753 00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:30,700 easier, right? And it might not be obvious at 754 00:47:30,700 --> 00:47:33,100 first, it might be a thing that you either have a direct 755 00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:36,100 conversation about like, how are they being measured? 756 00:47:36,100 --> 00:47:37,900 What kind of pressure are they under? 757 00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:41,200 How can we work together? It will just take a different 758 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,700 shape. When you're managing up versus 759 00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:46,100 managing, the team that is reporting to you. 760 00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:52,600 Yeah, so super good question. I think about this all the time, 761 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:57,000 like this is what I do. So it's always really fun for me 762 00:47:57,300 --> 00:48:01,000 to like get live and have conversations about this stuff. 763 00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:05,500 Yeah, very valuable and very excited. 764 00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:08,300 I'm just waiting to hear back from my Boston. 765 00:48:08,700 --> 00:48:12,000 You did make a good point. I might just pay for it and hope 766 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,100 for the best. At least I know some of it will 767 00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:17,100 be covered. So it's exciting. 768 00:48:17,300 --> 00:48:21,000 And we'll ever That is in this course being a manager or are 769 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,200 they like on their management Journey? 770 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,900 It's going to vary it'll vary a little bit. 771 00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:29,600 There's someone who's signed up. She's a project. 772 00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,900 May be a product manager actually so she doesn't have 773 00:48:32,900 --> 00:48:37,600 direct reports exactly. But her job is literally like to 774 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,400 manage the different personalities and stakeholders. 775 00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:44,200 So the conversations and the skills she wants to get better 776 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:48,500 at are also like super relevant and she's also Really, what? 777 00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:49,800 I think. She said she really wants to 778 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,300 learn how to manage up because she's like, I need, she's like, 779 00:48:53,300 --> 00:48:55,500 the way my leadership is operating right now. 780 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,100 Like I need to help them be better. 781 00:48:58,700 --> 00:49:01,800 So it's going to be a communication and managing but I 782 00:49:01,808 --> 00:49:03,400 don't think she has direct reports. 783 00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:07,300 So yeah it'll it'll be a mix but what I've but yeah what I what I 784 00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:11,300 find is that most of the folks coming still identify as new 785 00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:18,600 managers in some capacity Yeah, good questions. 786 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:25,500 Anything else from anyone that's coming up? 787 00:49:36,700 --> 00:49:41,000 Okay. Well, I am so delighted that you 788 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:46,600 all chose to spend some of your Friday with me, if you. 789 00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,400 So if you're on this call, then that means you must be on my 790 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,300 email list already. Because that's the only place 791 00:49:51,300 --> 00:49:55,200 the link was which means that we're already connected and 792 00:49:55,900 --> 00:49:58,600 yeah, stay tuned. You know, there will be more 793 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,900 coming out on the podcast. I will post the link to this so 794 00:50:01,900 --> 00:50:07,100 you will get to watch this and replay it and however, I can 795 00:50:07,100 --> 00:50:10,300 help you. That is why I am here. 796 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,800 All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being 797 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,300 here. I appreciate you. 798 00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:18,100 Have a great Friday and weekend and I'll see you later. 799 00:50:18,700 --> 00:50:27,700 Bye. Hey, before you go if you like 800 00:50:27,700 --> 00:50:33,000 this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what 801 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,300 has helped you? Thanks so much. 802 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:27,700 I'll see you next time. Hey, before you go if you like 803 00:50:27,700 --> 00:50:33,000 this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what 804 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,300 has helped you? Thanks so much. 805 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:36,500 I'll see you next time.