Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well.
I want to remind you that being a human is not always easy.
And in the workplace we then also have to work with other
humans who have their own challenges, and stories and
preferences and sometimes our communication Styles, don't
always line up or the priorities or motivations.
Or the just the things that are happening for us, as individuals
can create a feeling of friction or challenge when we are all
working together. I just want to remind you, that
that is normal and that's part of the challenge that begins to
really get clear when you become a manager and are stepping into
more of a leadership role. Have some Grace for yourself,
have some Grace for the humans that you work with.
And realize that the skill of learning how to work well
together, and how to grow your mindset and your communication
abilities. These are all learnable things
and you are good at learning. If that was not true.
You would not have survived to adulthood and because you are
listening to this podcast. I know for a fact that you are
good at learning things. Okay.
I also wanted to give a shout out to one of my listeners who
found me online. LinkedIn.
And then sent me this really sweet note and said that they
recently applied for a manager's role within their current
company and will have an interview soon.
Some of the fears I'm feeling your podcast is helping me
overcome if selected. This will be my first time being
a manager and I will be managing employees older than me, it will
be a challenge, but I will be great.
And that made my heart feels so good because that's so much of
what it's about is you will meet challenges and you will be
great. Not perfect, right?
Perfect doesn't actually exist but the mindset and the
perspective that you bring to a new challenge is everything.
It will change the way that you show up the way you're able to
influence others and facilitate. Ang and helped lead people into
working while together so much of it is around the mindset.
That is then driving the skills and the behaviors.
And what I often see is when we start to feel afraid, we hold
back. Rather than using that fear as a
way to acknowledge, oh, something new is happening.
I need to pay attention because this might be a bit unfamiliar.
So let's just use that as a signal.
That something new is happening and this is normal.
And for today's episode, I wanted to share with you the
audio of the most recent office hours that I hosted it was a
free call. If you're on my email list, you
got the invitation. If you're not on my email list,
go to my website, Kim nickel.com and then go to the new managers
page, you'll get on to the emailing list that is super
focused on the workplace. And To manage well.
And in this last call, I did a breakdown of how to approach
your work to ask that they pay for your professional
development. This is something that I love to
teach. I've talked about it.
A few times on the podcast, but I wanted to share with you the
audio from this teaching because it is so applicable and relevant
especially at this time of year. So it's still January.
We're Being about what are the professional development goals
for this year for yourself? And for the work that you do,
what is the professional development budget look like.
And even if you don't have a formal budget, some companies,
don't some organizations. It's a little bit more ad.
Hoc, it's more like if you request it, your manager might
have the discretion to allocate dollars for that particular
purpose. I wanted to share with you.
The framework that I have used to help my students and my
clients ask for things and have their organizations pay for it.
And this is worked with everything from a thirty-six
dollar Workshop to a five thousand dollar coaching
package. It has worked in nonprofits and
government agencies. It has worked in big Enterprises
organizations with global Workforce and it's worked in
really small. Ups.
And as you listen, I'll tell you why, this is so effective.
And so that is what I wanted to share with you today.
Especially because right now, I am offering a group program
where you can work with me directly in a group setting for
12 weeks and the focus will be around communication skills.
So if you want to learn how to have uncomfortable conversations
and you want to learn to be more direct and you want to get
through. Some of those internal obstacles
that fear that hesitation, you want to feel more confident in
the way that you communicate in all situations.
Then that is a program that you need to come and join and be a
part of because that's what we're focusing on.
And if you imagine even getting 5% better, if you become five
percent more confident, in the way that you communicate at work
and your anxiety about it goes down.
Five percent that adds up and makes a really big difference in
your personal life, your home life and also in your work life.
So without further Ado, here is that episode get ready to take
notes and I'll see you soon. Hey, welcome everyone.
This is my third office hours and today I wanted to talk about
how to advocate for yourself at work.
It's something I've talked about before but especially it's come
up very recently around, how do we do that?
Especially if you want to ask your work to pay for
professional development, both one-on-one coaching, I offer.
And I'm also offering now a group program and I'll put The
details for that into the chat in part because there are so
many ways to learn. I am a huge fan of learning
together and I am now at a place where I have the ability and
schedule to offer something groupwise.
So I'll talk more about that in a moment but just for now you
have the link into the details and with self-advocacy, that's
really A about how do we speak up on behalf of our selves and
we do that in small ways and big ways all the time small ways.
When we speak up for ourselves that can look like establishing
boundaries around, our availability, it can look like
making requests for things that we want that will support us,
whether it's professional development, whether it's a
promotion, whether it is some kind of external resource or
extra time. The ability and the willingness
to speak up is something that I cannot stress enough is just
like a valuable life skill and super necessary at work,
especially as you rise into higher levels of responsibility.
I also have this very sophisticated chart right over
here. But I wanted to show you because
what I find is a lot of folks come to me initially and they've
got a lot of questions and it tends to show up as some kind of
form of Self Doubt. Or uncertainty.
There's often I find with the folks who are drawn to me a
feeling of like I really want to do a good job but I'm worried
about X Y and Z either. I'm worried about you know like
not being seen as a team player or I'm worried about doing it
wrong or I'm worried about. If I say something to this
person what will they say? And then I have to replay the
you know imaginary conversation over and over again.
And All of that starts to get really heavy and starts to hold
us back in the way that we enjoy and experience being at work.
So what we do is we start with where you are and then we move
you to a place where you feel a lot more trust in yourself so
that you're making decisions from a place of really stable
Solid Ground. And for a lot of us when we
first start Rising into higher levels of responsibility, it can
feel weird because now it's like I'm doing things that I've never
exactly done before. But I'm also feeling kind of
more exposed like because yours more, visibility more people
looking to you to know things to have answers to make decisions.
And then there's a lot of other personalities that we start to
have to navigate as we start to go up.
And I find to with a lot of organizations, is just difficult
to support new managers at those early stages, like for a lot of
reasons. But I see this in every
industry, so I think it's kind of a universal thing.
So, Anyway that's sort of a little bit of basically the work
that I'm doing and with the group program, it's going to be
around. How do we get from the place of
uncertainty especially around communication skills, especially
around having tough conversations to get you to a
place where you're not as much in avoidance and fear and kind
of overwhelm and worry and are actually feeling more grounded
about the decisions you're making even if like you've never
done it before. Right.
So with all of that said, I want to share Some perspective with
you, this is from a workshop. I did late last year around
self-advocacy and you already know these things about me but
I'm a coach and that I host the new manager podcast and this
idea of you don't get what you don't ask for is one that I see
come up a lot that people will talk about and kind of a casual
way, but there are so many reasons why we don't ask for
things. And especially like, so
speaking, you know for myself personally my mom is from the
Philippines. My dad is from the Midwest.
They met, you know, in Manila like many many years ago and
then came to the US, but from my mom's side and kind of like the
Immigrant experience. There's such a message that I
grew up with of like you just have to make do Right, like
don't ask just make, do you know?
And I think for a lot of us to there might be a feeling of, you
know, I don't want to bother people.
So I'm not going to ask or I said, I should just figure it
out on myself. I'm not going to ask and yet the
ability to ask for what you need, and what you want is
really important because when you're also in a manager role,
sometimes your job will be to advocate for to speak up on
behalf of other people. That's your team or the customer
or the client or an idea. So advocacy is the skill of
speaking up on behalf of somebody self-advocacy, is when
you speak up for yourself and the Studies have shown to you
for a lot of folks, especially women much easier to speak up
for others, but really reluctant to speak up for yourself, which
I think is, interesting, right? Like, can be Be comfortable to
speak up for somebody else but not so much for oneself.
So what I want to share with you is this idea that a small change
comes from like a small shift, can create a big change.
And so when we learn more about self-advocacy and how to speak
up and ask for what you want, we start with the small things so
that you feel prepared for the big things.
And this is often counterintuitive because folks,
sometimes think All the Small Things don't matter that much.
Much. But that's the perfect time to
start practicing the skill of speaking up and asking for what
you need, because the ultimate goal is that we want you to
become a person who can speak up for yourself when you want to.
So it feels like it's a choice rather than like you have no
options or you have options but you don't like them at, all
right? We want it to be strategic and
intentional. Annal, when you're able to speak
up for yourself. So we're going to start with
something low risk, high value and that's professional
development. That is because what, you know,
most organizations already understand about professional
development, some of them, you know, just don't have a lot of
internal resources but it's a conversation that's already
happening. So one thing to think about is
that there might already be budget set aside for this And if
that's true then the money needs to be allocated for that
purpose. If it isn't, that's a problem.
Like, you know this, if you've ever had responsibility for a
budget, the budget is set with a certain amount of money for a
certain kind of thing. And if it doesn't get used for
that, kind of thing that can actually be problematic.
I've also encountered organizations where there wasn't
a formal, professional development budget, but a
manager had discretion Canary budget available that they then
allocated to someone's professional development.
The other thing is to realize that your manager or your work,
they might be delighted that you thought about this and are
taking the initiative because it's one less thing for them to
do. You're helping them back when I
was in manager, I had like 18, direct reports.
I could not keep track of all of their professional development
needs. So someone came to me and said,
hey, there's this course, I want to take or there's this resource
that I want, you know, here's how it works.
This is it costs, what can we do?
It would be such an easier conversation for me to have
because they were initiating it and really kind of taking the
lead and kind of demonstrating that they were really engaged
and taking full responsibility for how they were guiding their
own Career Development, which is great.
I think that's a thing to you. That sometimes we miss is, we
think, oh, if I'm asking for something, it must mean
something bad about me. Like, I can't handle things.
On my own. And what I consider thinking
instead is the perspective of, oh, I am being a leader by
identifying, you know, an area of development, identifying a
resource. And then being very proactive
about saying, okay, like this is the resource that will help me
get to you know, get this skill or get this, you know
advancement. Like that's a good thing, it's
not like, oh so sorry, I'm not like good enough.
It's like, oh no, like All right, like let's handle this.
You know, here's how we're going to do it very different
perspective. And then, the other nice thing
is when you think about coming to your organization or manager
with a request, make it easy for them to say yes.
And you'll do that by thinking about, you know, what do you
think they care most about? How does your request aligned
with the team goals or with the organizational goals?
So if you're, you know, if you think your manager is going to
be worried about how much time will this take.
Then you want to think about how will this actually end up.
Saving time, I had one student who wanted to do a group program
with me and she went to her boss and her boss says how much time
will this take? And she said, are you kidding
me? This is going to save us so much
time down the road because when I learned how to do this, as we
grow and onboard more people, I will be able to get them up to
speed so much faster. He's like, oh, you're right
great. Let's do it.
It so think about how what you want to ask for aligns with what
the decision maker wants. And also kind of what the bigger
picture goals are. That's also part of being
strategic, in your thinking, which is how I look at the big
picture and how all these different things are connected
and then how to think about yourself when you're making an
ask. So as I was just saying, you
want to see yourself as being proactive, you're taking
responsibility, you're presenting in a well-thought-out
solution, these are good things. This is not about like why
should I should already know this?
No, no, that's that's not the mindset to bring into that
situation and conversation. Realized you, you're signaling
your ambition and desire for growth again.
This is a good thing to say that.
Hey, I'm thinking about how I need to grow.
What I want to be able to do, this is going to help me get
there, faster. That's a good thing.
And realize that you benefit no matter what they say.
So sometimes I have my students or clients will tell me.
I didn't want to ask because I'm afraid they would.
They would say no and I didn't, I thought I don't want to feel
bad if they said no. But what's incredible is that
just by speaking up, you benefit in at least two ways?
So number one, you benefit by becoming the person Who can
speak up with confidence and the other way that you benefit is
you learn something about your manager, and the workplace based
on how they respond. Because again, kind of big
picture thinking, I like to think of your work is a where
it's a, where you are and you want to be deciding, is this
still where I want to be? Is this the environment are the
ecosystem that I see? Still want to be in, I want to
understand kind of where am I? And this will give you some
information so that you can think about your own future and
your own desire for what you want next kind of as a side note
to just you might have also been seeing.
There are a lot of layoffs happening in the tech industry
right now and it's always this reminder of oh right like our
work life is always at. Temporary part of our life and
sometimes we get to decide when we and sometimes we don't, but
when you think about what you want, while you're there, like,
what will that look like? How will that go?
It's a good thing to have some information about Okay, so
here's what this looks like in terms of the road map, when
you're asking for professional development.
First, you want to get clear about the, what, what are you
going to be asking for? So start by making a list of all
of the things that interest, you courses, conferences, coaching,
programs, books, whatever it can be everything from like a
thirty, five dollar, you know, online course to like a 36
hundred dollar. All Conference thing like get
the whole range then you want to decide why?
So from the what's you choose the why connect the thing you
want with the skills? You'll develop and why it
matters for their for your job, for your growth, for your team,
or company Mission. And do not expect this to be
obvious to your manager, because even if it is obvious to them,
they still want to see that, you thought it through and that you
have a plan that you're being strategic about it.
So first, all the different, what's then choose something and
explore, and get clear about the, why why this thing as
opposed to something else. This is also a great like
sometimes because I sell so much one-on-one coaching, people will
say, oh you know my I wanted to do one-on-one coaching and my
manager was like oh why not just take a, you know, a course.
So you want to think through? Why would you want one-on-one
coaching as opposed to a course? And some of the things people
come up with do this, like these cook em.
You mean our friend and some of the things people come up with
is, oh well I want individual attention.
I want to have like someone that I'm engaging with as I go as
opposed to kind of doing a passive consumption kind of
thing, you know, when you think through what you want and why,
then you Can articulate it to them so that they can see it as
well. Right now, as I mentioned
earlier, I have one-on-one coaching but I'm also now
opening up a group. So the difference might be
around like price. So for some folks, the group
program will fit more easily and the professional development
budget that they have available for some others.
It's going to be more like I want a group learning experience
where it's not just me. But I'm also meeting other
people who Are also new managers so that I can learn in more of a
community environment. The other thing is that coaching
with me, one on one right now is six months with, so that's like
a good chunk of time. And for people who love that,
it's the best thing ever. And for some folks, they're just
like I just need 12 weeks focused on communication skills
and that's it. So it's a question of scope.
What is the scope for the Learning and Development that
you want? Then finally, once we're clear
on the what and the, why then you want to think about the when
when will I bring this conversation to my manager or to
my HR business partner? For example, you might bring it
up at the start or the end of a specific month or a quarter.
You might bring it up at performance review season.
But plan it in advance, I have one client who's working with me
now and she's like, I seated this with my manager.
Six months ago, she started talking with her manager about
wanting to work with a coach about why she wanted it saying.
You know, I don't want it right now, but that's something I'm
thinking about. I'm going to do some research
and she just initiated the conversation and started the
planning way in advance. And now we're working together,
which is pretty cool. And the actual fun kind of bonus
thing of that is when she brought the proposal to her
manager, her manager said, oh wait, does this lady also work
with groups? Groups, because I've been
looking for someone who can do a communication skills Workshop,
you know, for our whole team and she's like, I don't know, go
talk to her. So he was thrilled that his team
member had introduced him to me because he had actually been
thinking about, oh, well, we need someone to help the team
with this particular skill set. So realize that when you're
speaking up for yourself there are other people that benefit
not just you my other Sorry around.
This is years ago. I had a client come to me and
she went to, you know, wanted to work with me and she went to her
manager and her manager was a very small start-up, right?
So they didn't even have an HR person.
It was very informal and she said, yeah, there's this coach
that I want to work with it cost this much, you know, can what do
you think? Can we do this?
And her manager was like, yeah, okay, that sounds great.
Like I'm sold, do it. And then she said, wait a
minute. We should also be thinking about
what is our policy? As a company for Learning and
Development. We're at the stage now where we
should actually have a policy that affects everybody.
Not just me. So instead of just sort of
saying oh great like let's do it, she initiated a conversation
and as a result the company decided that they were going to
allocate I think was like a thousand dollars for as a
learning stipend for everyone in the company.
That makes me excited. That feels so good.
When you start to learn how to feel comfortable, speaking up
for yourself, there are so many ways that it can benefit others.
So this is why it works. I've seen this work in startups,
I've seen this work in large organizations, I've seen this
work in philanthropy organizations, like so many
different kinds of situations. And the reason it works is
because you're bringing a solution.
You're coming from this. I'm on the same team mindset.
This is also really different. You know, if you think for a lot
of us the first experience we had of asking for things was
when we were little kids and we were asking for a grown-up,
somebody who had a lot more power and a lot more discretion
to just say yes or no. And so when we start advocating
for ourselves as adults, sometimes we still feel like
little kids inside like, oh, I don't Want to ask, you know,
because they might say no we still feel like this little kid
rather than the mindset of hey we're on the same team, here's
what I'd like to have happen. What do you think?
What can we do? How do we make this work much
more collaborative and much more kind of even levels and because
of this approach, you're going to make it easy for them to feel
good about saying yes. Such a subtle thing, but it
makes such a big difference. So I want to start to land us
with this thought to it's okay to want things.
The smallest part of you is worthy of being cared for and
valued and that's what you're doing.
When you're speaking up on behalf of yourself, it's an act
of self recognition of holding your own desires with, like a
sense of worth. Value and seeing what you can do
in order to take care of that. So self-advocacy is a skill,
it's both, you know, a mindset. It's also a communication skill
in the way that you do it. And what's nice is that?
Because it's a skill. It's something you can learn and
get better at. And with every skill, there's
kind of the technical part of it, like the Frameworks and
strategies, but then there's the human part of it, which is our
own Here's our own self, doubt our own hesitation and that's
where with the coaching that I offer.
It's a lot about. How can we understand the
mindset that will allow you to, then move forward and taking the
action. This is also, what helps us
bridge the gap between? I know I need to but I just
don't want to because I feel too uncomfortable about it.
We can have all the knowledge in the world but if we're not in a
mindset that lets us move, All right, with that knowledge.
Then it just kind of sits there. So that is what I wanted to
share today with respect to self-advocacy and the workplace
and how we speak up for ourselves.
And some of the reasons why we don't, I think that if you've
ever heard that phrase, what got you here, won't get you there
that starts to become really Vivid when we rise.
In two levels of leadership and management.
Because for a lot of us what works really well when we're
individual contributors is being really good at executing things
being really skillful in a specific function of the thing
we're good at. But then once you're managing
people, it's a different job. You're now managing
personalities, you're managing attention.
You're having to make decisions around resources that not.
We'll be happy with it's so hard.
If you have a part of your heart that is just like I want
everyone to feel good and be happy.
The core of that is really great but that then can really bind
you up when you are rising into levels where you might need to
make decisions or have conversations or give feedback,
that might be hard for somebody else to hear.
So learning how to deal with all of.
Those emotions, both your own and the emotions of others
becomes a really important skill to develop and have and I say
Dana had to hop out, awesome, super good to see her.
Okay? So I want to pause now that was
a lot of information and it was kind of a lot very quickly, but
I want to just check in and see what questions or thoughts.
Anybody has either on this topic or anything else?
It's like very, very open guidelines here on what you want
to ask about. What's coming up?
Oh I see Dana's putting in her ear buds.
Hi But you're still on mute, though.
Sorry. Well, well, will get it
eventually, right? I was going to give other people
a chance to chime in but you know, part of why I love you is
that everything that you say resonates with me like to some
degree when I. So you sent out an email about
joining the group sessions, the group, peer sessions for new
managers and I was super excited about that and then I remembered
that you did 10. One coaching.
And so, you know, I reached out and I said, hey, Will how much
does that cost? Because maybe that's a more a
better option for me. It was a little, probably a
little bit out of our wheelhouse in terms of price, but the
group, one seemed great. And so, but before I was like,
hmm, really scared and really nervous to bring this to my CEO.
He's a very supportive and receptive to everything I want
to do, but because I had had an issue with a previous person,
that's directly reported to me. Person has since left.
I'm now, starting over with a new person and I'm not very
confrontational, I'm not very direct all the time and, you
know, yesterday or Wednesday, I had mentioned some things I had
happened and I was like, this would be great, but I started
second-guessing myself. The fact that like, I should be
able to do this without having, like, without having a support
or without having this network, or having to take a course or
whatever happens, you do that. And then I just said, Screw it
and asked him anyway and he was very supportive about it will
see that they can find the money for it.
But it's just that like self-doubt that like you think
you should know it and a lot of people just fumble through life
and they don't have these resources, so it's kind of great
when you do. Yeah.
Thank you so much for sharing that and I'm so glad that you
asked for what you wanted and that you spoke up.
And I think it is really true like especially what you just
said around. Like, for a lot of us, we can
kind of stumble around on our own and we can actually do
really well like that strategy works for a lot of things for a
long time, but it's not required.
Like, like one of my clients when we first started work
working together, she's like, you know, everyone tells me,
I'll figure it out eventually, but I would rather just pay you
to help me now. And I kind of loved that because
I'm like, yeah, that's available.
You know, and there's no reason why we should expect to
automatically know how to do this stuff.
I think, for a lot of us being Scrappy and really self
resourcing works very well, especially when we're individual
contributors and we kind of have this is the scope of work.
That is mind to learn and do an Excel at But then, once we
switch over into people managing it, that, that same skill can
actually hold us back because communication and relationships
and building trust and all of the that that's like the
relational art of human interaction.
And what's so interesting is, I see this in every industry.
Any place you have two or more humans working together, you're
going to bump into some of these challenges and it can just be Be
a lot easier to have a dedicated space to do Active Learning,
right? Like books are awesome.
You know, like courses are awesome but like active
Community Learning space. I found there's just there's
something in it that you don't get like you don't get from a
book. So yeah.
Super good. Anything else?
Anyone has that they want to ask or share?
It is, hey Anthony. Hey, I'll share a real quick.
I mean, it's a, I mean, it's kind of like off topic but in
the same kind of right? Okay, let's go there.
I worth nobody. Just in terms of, I went through
a stretch last year where I had like wanted.
I didn't know like that I needed even coaching.
Until I like, was it a point where, you know, I just started
looking at courses and things of that nature and I was and just
to bring it to a really personal point of view.
Like I remember it was like three weeks leading up to
actually like that like the sign of date and I was like, it's
crazy. How like I couldn't See the
value and advocating for myself with that time.
And how much like I was even in tears?
Like, I cried almost like we every day for a week before
actually, like signed up to help myself and it was like a huge
turning point for me. But like so those are the kind
of things that we're kind of coming up when I was thinking
about it. And, you know, not even like
because I just never even thought to ask for any help
ever, and I really pissed. I kind of resonate what you're
saying. Just like, yeah, I don't know.
It's a lot of things. I mean I'm Filipino to so I just
want to put that out there so I get it the whole immigrant
experience to. But yeah it's just a always in
that what you were saying earlier about just being in that
space of when you're just like isolated to perform tasks like
get I was really good at like just doing my job, put my head
down, stay in my skill. And and like I didn't really
have problems often like managing or talking to other
people but you know I started realizing more the limitations
that I had by kind of staying small in that space of just like
I internalized a lot of things I and this is just obviously a lot
of work and in terms of work and spiritual work on top of that to
come these realizations. But yeah, just just like Didn't
feel comfortable that I could be vulnerable in the spaces that I
was in it, especially in the work environment, that wasn't.
Yeah, let's keep it short. Well and thank you so much for
that share because I know they're like, I'm I know that
what you just shared will resonate with many other people
and I'm curious when you think back to you right before you,
decided to reach out for help when like you were just like, no
I should enter. I can't.
What do you think? Tipped you off?
And they do say no, like I'm going to do this.
Honestly, it was like I just didn't know, I just hit a point
where I couldn't. It was just so much.
I guess so much like crying and like, so much of that.
You know, I just hit a point where I just go.
I got a bet on myself, you know. I don't know that.
Yes. And it was like kind of the
first time I had spent money on classes to like gain skills,
right? Like to improve my skills.
But never like for like life, like life skills or anything in
terms of energy mindset stuff. Like I had never, I always loved
that stuff but I'd never actually doubled down on it, you
know, and actually been like, I'm going to do this all the way
instead of intellectualizing it. I actually want to integrate
this into my life, but I didn't even know that much at that
time. When I was signing up, I just
know. Like I was just, you know, place
where I was kind of like, I knew I had to take a lead on some
level and that leap has led me to, like, brush up against other
things where I'm like, I gotta take another Leaf but that was
kind of an initial Gateway. I say, yeah, growth growth
begets growth, right? Like there's always a new thing
to learn. So I love that what you said
about trusting yourself and betting on yourself because that
never ends, you know, Yeah. So that's also make me think so
a couple things I want to share with everybody and also for
those who are going to be watching the replay, so I'll
talk a little bit just about the difference between one-on-one
coaching and the program. The program is going to start on
February 14th. So it's starting in just a few
weeks. I have priced it in a way that
should hopefully work with a lot of professional development
budgets. I will share this screen a
little bit. Bit.
So you can see, we're talking a lot around communication skills
and also, as I was talking before, how you're thinking and
feeling so that you can use those communication skills in
situations that require boundaries, speaking up
advocating for yourself and also managing up.
So as you go up, you have more people there to manage and
sometimes that requires a different way of thinking.
Aang how to manage up and also because it's a live group.
Then we're also going to work on what you bring into our group
calls. We're going to meet for 12
weeks, the calls will be recorded.
So if you're not able to join for some reason, you'll be able
to watch the replay, but we'll get to have more conversations
as a group, the pricing, it's a thousand dollars.
If you're able to sign up by the 22nd, which is Sunday, regular
pricing is Thousand to fifty and then for like my last call,
like, you know, what time is it? Oh no, I need to slide out.
Now, it's 1,500 if you wait till the very last minute and there
are a couple of questions. I'll ask you it, so that I get a
sense of who you are, what's going on and then the payment
will be through PayPal. So if your work is going to pay
for it, then you can use the PayPal link for the corporate
credit card, or passport or forward that to your, your Work
like Finance person with some of my clients, what they do is they
pay for it out of pocket, and then submit the receipt for
reimbursement. It just depends on how your
organization works. But this is, I feel like one of
the missing pieces in leadership development, both specifically,
when you become a new manager, because there's just feel like
this, this stage is very underserved.
And the sense of to like, I like to imagine, if you even just had
add 5% more confidence and 5% less anxiety. and you got that
like, every week that would make a pretty awesome difference in
the experience and shape, not just of your work life, but like
of your life life, and one thing I've been noticing this week is
a lot of my one-on-one clients have been telling me that their
relationships are improving, not just work, but also home because
one of my clients is like, it's really nice to have a place to
talk about the work stuff because then I don't bring it
into my home relationships and we can talk about other Things?
Because I've got like a place for that conversation.
So that is one of the other benefits in terms of having more
energy to connect, not on work stuff with friends, family.
And people that you really care about, you get to be more
present for them. When, you know, that all the
stuff that's kind of sitting on you for work.
You have a place every week to address that in handle that My
one-on-one coaching is $5000, it, six months, we meet for 20
sessions. It's just you and me for some
folks, that is the perfect way to work and if your work covers
the cost of that in whole or in part even better.
So my clients like to pay for that out of pocket and just not
address their work at all. They just like, I like that's
for me but with the one-on-one coaching but also includes
whatever you want to bring into the session.
When we are focusing on the group, Graham.
We're going to be a little bit more focused on the work stuff
because that's what we really want to help build the mindset
and the skill set for. But, you know, we're whole
humans in every context. So you can't address work and
communication without including the perspective that you are a
whole person and that effects the way that you are at work.
Yeah. So that is that any other
thoughts perspectives questions? Anybody wants to share?
While we're still here before I release us for a Friday
afternoon. And everyone is on mute right
now. So if you have, if you have a
share, you'll have to unmute yourself.
Sorry, I'm, did you say that everyone?
So I do you say that there's role playing in the group
sessions, not necessarily it kind of depends, like on the, on
the on where people are at and if they want it, but I don't
often I don't. Well, here's what I want to
answer. I don't really do role playing
per se, but I do do the thing where it's like, if there's a
conversation you need to have. Let's practice.
Saying the words now. So the first time you actually
say the words is not, when you're in that live
conversation, we want to get the conversation out of your head
and into your body. So you feel comfortable saying
things like, okay, I want to offer you some feedback, it
might be kind of hard to hear, but I think it's important that
I just tell you directly is that okay, write what you want to
practice saying that. So you have it in your mouth and
in your heart before you try to say it for the first time live
in the Station. And with a component of this
unit segment manage, you mentioned managing up.
What if you wanted to, I guess it's the same thing advocate for
yourself or like a promotion or anything like that.
Like, some of a lot of these things that you mentioned are
things that, like, come up in my head, you know, saying something
to someone directly and getting the word out and not like
freaking myself out. Because I have to say that or
trying to Tone it down because it's confrontational or you
know, advocating for a promotion at work.
So I think those are things that interest me but like, definitely
communication and being direct which seems like that will be
addressed. Yeah, absolutely.
That's the heart of it and the reason I include managing up is
because we sometimes forget that that's also people management.
So that's also managing expectations.
That's also how to say no to someone who has more power than
you. That's also learning how to
communicate. In the way that is effective for
them. So just as one simple example,
kind of its like the higher you go, the more bullet point e and
the less information people want, right?
So instead of saying, okay, let me explain to you, you know, why
we're doing all of this. The higher you go there?
Like no. Like if I need the backstory,
I'll ask you. But I trust you and your
judgment, just tell me what you think we need to do.
What is, what is it that you need from me?
So, the car, Verse ation starts to change when you're talking up
when we're talking to the folks that are reporting up to us.
A lot of what we're trying to do is understand what do they need
to see and think about in order to go forward so that might be
okay. If there's something happening
up here, let me translate that so that you know how that
affects us as a team. Right?
Or it's around understanding. How will you be evaluated?
So that it's not a big surprise when we do our performance
reviews it's about helping people have the resources or the
relation like helping relationships, get smooth.
And this is also where, you know, you're going to have lots
of different personalities that report out to you.
So learning how to communicate and work with different.
Humans is really huge. But then learning how to work
with your manager. And that sense of what did, what
did, what is, what are they trying to do?
And then when you're working with them, how can you think
about, how can I work with them in a way that makes their job
easier, right? And it might not be obvious at
first, it might be a thing that you either have a direct
conversation about like, how are they being measured?
What kind of pressure are they under?
How can we work together? It will just take a different
shape. When you're managing up versus
managing, the team that is reporting to you.
Yeah, so super good question. I think about this all the time,
like this is what I do. So it's always really fun for me
to like get live and have conversations about this stuff.
Yeah, very valuable and very excited.
I'm just waiting to hear back from my Boston.
You did make a good point. I might just pay for it and hope
for the best. At least I know some of it will
be covered. So it's exciting.
And we'll ever That is in this course being a manager or are
they like on their management Journey?
It's going to vary it'll vary a little bit.
There's someone who's signed up. She's a project.
May be a product manager actually so she doesn't have
direct reports exactly. But her job is literally like to
manage the different personalities and stakeholders.
So the conversations and the skills she wants to get better
at are also like super relevant and she's also Really, what?
I think. She said she really wants to
learn how to manage up because she's like, I need, she's like,
the way my leadership is operating right now.
Like I need to help them be better.
So it's going to be a communication and managing but I
don't think she has direct reports.
So yeah it'll it'll be a mix but what I've but yeah what I what I
find is that most of the folks coming still identify as new
managers in some capacity Yeah, good questions.
Anything else from anyone that's coming up?
Okay. Well, I am so delighted that you
all chose to spend some of your Friday with me, if you.
So if you're on this call, then that means you must be on my
email list already. Because that's the only place
the link was which means that we're already connected and
yeah, stay tuned. You know, there will be more
coming out on the podcast. I will post the link to this so
you will get to watch this and replay it and however, I can
help you. That is why I am here.
All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being
here. I appreciate you.
Have a great Friday and weekend and I'll see you later.
Bye. Hey, before you go if you like
this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what
has helped you? Thanks so much.
I'll see you next time. Hey, before you go if you like
this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what
has helped you? Thanks so much.
I'll see you next time.