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Welcome to the new Manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nichol. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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I was out sick for the last week
and then I was traveling. 

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And so all of a sudden now it's 
March and the time has just gone

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by so quickly. 
So today we're going to dive 

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right into our topic, and today 
we're talking about imposter 

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syndrome. 
I was thinking about this for a 

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few reasons. 
I had a really great e-mail from

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one of my former students who 
took my course on communication 

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strategies for managers. 
And if you're listening, shout 

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out to you, you know who you 
are. 

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And she sent me this really 
great message and about her 

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experience in class and what's 
happened since then. 

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And one of the things she said 
that stood out to me was when 

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she signed up, she had been 
feeling a lot of imposter 

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syndrome and a lot of 
frustration. 

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And now, several months after 
the class, she said that she's 

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really loving her position, that
her team is in a good place and 

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that the entire organization has
benefited from what she learned.

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And I was thinking about 
imposter syndrome. 

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And, you know, it's so often the
case that people become managers

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and they've never done it 
before. 

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You're really good at something 
and so people say great, like 

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the next step for you is to now 
manage people who are also doing

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that thing. 
Maybe you're a great designer, 

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but now you're going to manage 
designers and the managing is a 

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new job. 
It's a different job. 

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Maybe you're really great at 
sales, managing a sales team 

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that's different. 
It takes a different mindset, 

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some different skills. 
You might be a really good 

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software developer and you're 
really good at grinding and 

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getting that code out and just, 
you know, really doing great at 

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building through code. 
But if you become a manager of 

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software developers, that's a 
different job. 

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And so it can #1 feel very 
abrupt, this change from feeling

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very competent, like, you know, 
this thing that you do whatever 

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is that core functional domain 
of expertise that you have that 

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you've developed over the years,
There's this thing that you're 

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good at. 
And now you're being asked to do

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something of a higher 
responsibility because you're 

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now responsible for more people 
and for bigger outcomes. 

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And it's something you've never 
done before. 

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And so I want to #1 normalize 
that. 

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If you have that thought, I 
don't know what I'm doing, 

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that's OK. 
Most people don't know what 

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they're doing. 
And in fact, by admitting that 

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to oneself, that can be the 
easiest way to start to learn 

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the things you're going to need 
to learn. 

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The more that we deny or sort of
pretend, the harder it is to 

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update our thinking and really 
focus on the things that matter 

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most, Especially if you are 
wearing multiple hats sometimes 

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you're going to be working as an
individual contributor part of 

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the time and you will be serving
as a manager part of the time. 

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And the temptation can be, well,
I'm just going to do more of the

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individual, individual 
contributor work. 

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And especially if you're a hard 
worker, it's easy to try to 

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solve everything by just working
harder. 

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And then what happens is, you 
know, it's like you, you stop 

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delegating, you stop trying to 
train up others, and you end up 

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taking on so much of yourself 
and then just feeling frustrated

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and maybe even resentful and 
maybe starting to question 

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whether or not managing people 
is even for you. 

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So we want to take a breath. 
We want to take a step back and 

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realize when you don't know what
you're doing. 

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That's a very common experience 
when you are stepping into this 

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higher level of responsibility 
and this new role. 

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The other part can be the 
thought, am I supposed to know 

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what I'm doing? 
If I've been hired into this 

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role? 
Is it because they think I 

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already know how to manage 
people if I got promoted into 

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this role? 
Is it because I'm supposed to 

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already know things that I feel 
like I suddenly don't know? 

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But I didn't realize it until I 
was in this role? 

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And those twin thoughts, you 
know, the fear of I don't know 

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what I'm doing and Oh my gosh, 
am I supposed to know already 

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what I'm doing? 
Those two can spin and spin and 

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create a lot of fear, some 
feelings of inadequacy, and can 

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undermine and erode your sense 
of confidence and shut down your

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curiosity. 
Like, it's really hard to be 

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curious and open to learning and
trying new things when we're so 

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afraid. 
Because when we're afraid, we 

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tend to pull in. 
We tend to become guarded. 

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We tend to seek comfort and 
security, and we want to 

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eliminate any vulnerabilities. 
Anything that feels like, what 

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if people find out? 
So you sometimes call this 

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imposter syndrome. 
And I think sometimes it's more 

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accurate to think of it as, oh, 
yeah, these are the feelings 

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that happen when I'm stepping 
into this new level and this new

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role. 
This is a sign of growth and 

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it's OK. 
It's not a problem. 

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You might even think of it if 
you are a parent or if you have 

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ever been the primary caregiver 
for children. 

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And you know, before you were in
that position, you might have 

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some very strong opinions about 
how other people parent and 

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raise their children. 
You might have a lot of 

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opinions. 
You might have done a lot of 

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reading, but until you are in 
that role with that specific kid

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and that specific personality 
and the specific challenges that

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you're facing, you know, books 
are helpful, but they are never 

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going to fully prepare you for 
the actual experience of this 

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dynamic living moment. 
I think it's really similar when

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you think about stepping into a 
manager role or a new level of 

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leadership. 
Books are helpful, yes, but at 

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the end of the day, you're 
working with individuals with 

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different personalities, 
different communication styles, 

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different working styles and 
different priorities. 

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That means that people will be 
motivated differently, that 

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people will not respond 
necessarily the way you would 

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respond because, you know, 
people are different. 

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And one of the skills and one of
the mindsets I like to offer to 

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you and, you know, to everyone 
who works with me is this idea 

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of how can I become effective 
even when I'm working with 

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different kinds of people. 
And the idea is as a manager, as

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a leader, how can I bring out 
the best of who these people 

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are? 
How can I enable them to work 

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Better Together towards whatever
goal is, you know, the goal that

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we're working on and that goal 
might change over time. 

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And when it does, how do I 
communicate that? 

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And how can I work in such a way
that I feel like I'm really 

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doing right by my team, by our, 
you know, our goal. 

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And also for yourself, there's 
something where you want to 

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carry. 
I think of it as like, the right

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level of responsibility. 
You don't want to feel overly 

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responsible because that becomes
burdensome. 

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And it's also just not accurate.
You know, if you feel like you 

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are singularly responsible for 
the happiness and well-being of 

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each person, that's kind of 
overreaching because there's a 

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lot happening in their lives 
that is, you know, none of your 

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business and certainly outside 
of your control. 

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But this idea, instead of while 
we are here working together for

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this period of time, how can I 
work with them? 

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And how can we work together in 
a way that will be good? 

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So that when we are all looking 
back on this time in a year or 

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in a couple of years, we look 
back and we feel proud about 

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what we did while we were 
together. 

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Knowing that the time that we 
have working together is 

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temporary. 
We really don't know how long 

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this particular team is going to
be intact for lots of different 

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reasons. 
And that awareness of the, you 

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know, kind of the right sizing, 
that sense of responsibility and

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having that perspective of time 
can sometimes really help in 

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feeling more grounded, more 
clear about the scope of your 

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role and more able to really 
connect with a specific 

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intention that you want to bring
as a leader and as a manager. 

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So if you feel that imposter 
syndrome, you know, feeling that

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uncertainty or that self doubt 
or that am I even cut out for 

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this? 
If you just feel really 

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frustrated and you think, oh, 
managing people, it's 

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exhausting, you know, what's the
point? 

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Maybe maybe I'm not really, you 
know, cut out for this. 

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If you're there, I want to offer
something that might give you a 

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little bit of breathing room and
help you find your footing. 

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So three questions you can ask 
yourself. 

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One is, what's my role here? 
As a manager, you're going to 

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wear different hats. 
Sometimes your role is to bring 

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clarity to what people need to 
focus on. 

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Sometimes your role is to, you 
know, like roll up your sleeves,

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get shoulder to shoulder, get 
your hands into the dirt and do 

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the work alongside the team. 
Sometimes your role as the 

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manager is to protect your team 
from the distractions or from 

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the demands of others in your 
organization. 

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So in any given moment, you can 
ask yourself like what's my 

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role? 
So asking yourself what's my 

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role in this situation or what's
my role in this relationship or 

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in this project, in this 
dynamic? 

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Because the way you answer that 
may change. 

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And it will help you to focus on
what's most important in that 

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moment. 
Question #2 ask yourself what's 

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my goal? 
Especially when it comes to 

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communication? 
And this is something that we 

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spend a lot of time on in my 6 
week course on communication 

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strategies for managers is 
whenever you're in a situation, 

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whether it's a tough 
conversation or you're trying to

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figure out, like I keep, you 
know, saying this in this way, 

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but it doesn't seem to land. 
It's, it's not having the effect

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I thought it would have. 
I'm not sure why, you know, this

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person keeps coming to me with 
these questions when I've 

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already given them the answer 
and they're not implementing it.

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We want to ask the question, 
what's your goal when you are 

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making decisions about what you 
want to communicate, how you 

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want to communicate it, and what
you want to happen as a result? 

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In order to look at that and get
clear about that piece, we want 

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to ask this question, what is 
your goal when you have a brand 

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new hire? 
Your goal in communicating with 

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them, especially in that first 
week or that first 30 days, 

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might be around helping them 
feel like they belong, making 

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sure that it's clear what they 
should be focusing on. 

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Maybe it's about helping them 
build their confidence using new

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tools or facilitating 
introductions to different key 

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people that they'll need to work
with on the team. 

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Think about what's your goal. 
It might be different with a 

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long time tenured person that 
you work with. 

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Maybe your goal with them is 
like, wow, they have so much 

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organizational knowledge. 
Part of my goal is to help them 

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to document or to somehow 
capture all of this great 

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information and history that 
they have in their own mind. 

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And maybe part of it is about 
helping them to feel really 

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appreciated for the work that 
they do, helping them feel 

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respected and seen and valued. 
Maybe that's what your goal is. 

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When you ask yourself, what is 
my goal? 

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It will help to simplify the 
path forward. 

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And the third question is, what 
is my intention? 

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This is a good one to revisit, 
honestly. 

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You could revisit it every day. 
You could choose a different 

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intention each day, or you could
set one for the, you know, for 

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the week or for the month. 
But the intention is this idea 

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of how do you want to be with 
the people you're working with? 

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What is that internal mindset, 
that attitude? 

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What is the intention that you 
want to bring into the way that 

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you work? 
You might say, you know what? 

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My intention is to be really 
patient with people because I 

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know I tend to get impatient. 
My brain moves really fast. 

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My intention for today is just 
to be more patient. 

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Or maybe your intention is 
something like, my intention is 

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to be more trusting. 
I tend to hold pretty tightly 

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and I am really worried to let 
other people do things because 

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I'm worried they won't do it the
way I would do it. 

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And so maybe for a moment, the 
intention is I need to trust 

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them a little bit more, see what
they actually do so that we can 

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get that information and then 
talk about it. 

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Maybe they even have a better 
way of doing things. 

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I won't know unless I give them 
a little bit more trust and a 

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little bit more space. 
And then we can find out. 

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And then we can compare notes 
and have a conversation about 

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it. 
So thinking about your intention

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will also help simplify things 
so that you feel less like less 

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overextended and you can feel a 
bit more gathered and a bit more

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grounded. 
It can help you to feel a bit 

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more calm even when there's a 
lot of change or a lot of 

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uncertainty swirling around you.
Just revisit these three 

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questions. 
What's my role, what's my goal, 

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and what's my intention? 
There are a lot of things in the

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course of your work and in the 
course of the world that are not

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in your hands that you don't 
have in any influence over. 

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But there is quite a bit that 
you do hold in your hands and 

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that you can access when you ask
these questions. 

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What's my role? 
What's my goal? 

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What's my intention? 
Choose simple answers to those 

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questions and then see what 
happens when you use them to 

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help guide you through your work
day, through your work week, and

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through different conversations 
that you're going to be having 

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with people that you work with. 
So that is what I wanted to 

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offer you today. 
If you'd like to deepen your 

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learning, then sign up for my 
course, Communication Strategies

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for Managers. 
Enrollment is open now. 

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The next cohort starts in April,
so we're coming up. 

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I definitely recommend that you 
ask if your work will cover the 

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00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:21,720
cost. 
Your work might be delighted 

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00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:24,480
that you're taking the 
initiative to get the 

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professional development that 
will help you be more effective 

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at work. 
O consider asking. 

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You'll find all of the 
information in the links below 

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in the show notes. 
Or you can go to my website, 

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00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:45,160
kimnickel.com and on the new 
managers page you'll learn about

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00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,400
the course, everything that's 
included, and how to sign up. 

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If you sign up with a friend, 
then you even get a little extra

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00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,480
savings, so consider that as 
well. 

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And lastly, if this podcast has 
been helpful to you, would you 

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00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:04,800
do me a favor and leave a rating
or a review? 

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00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,160
You know, this show's not for 
everyone and I really like 

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00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,280
listeners to know if they should
be listening. 

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00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:17,920
So when you leave a rating or a 
review, it helps others to know,

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00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,600
hey, is this a show I should be 
listening to? 

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00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:25,120
I want to reach as many people 
as I can and help as many people

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as I can because I know it makes
a difference not just for you 

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00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:35,320
and your life, but also for your
team, for your organization, and

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for the entire collective that 
we are all a part of. 

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So thank you so much for 
listening. 

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I hope you have a great day and 
I will talk to you next time. 

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When you're more effective at 
work, you're happier in your 

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life, and when you're happier in
your life, you're more effective

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at work. 
I can help. 

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00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,120
Go to my website, kimnickel.com 
and sign up for a coaching 

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00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,560
consult. 
It can get better.