1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:17,600 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. 3 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,700 I'm so glad that you're here. We are going to get right into 4 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:26,300 our topic for today. It is confidence. 5 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:33,100 And this is something as a human just existing in the world, I 6 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:38,900 have had to find my own relationship with and also, as a 7 00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:41,700 coach. So by work with a Of new 8 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:44,800 managers. A lot of my clients that might 9 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,100 have identified as Leaders, but are now moving into more visible 10 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,500 managerial roles confidence comes up a lot in the course of 11 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:56,300 that work. And so what I wanted to bring to 12 00:00:56,300 --> 00:01:05,000 you was first This perspective, that confidence is one of these 13 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:10,400 immeasurable assets, right? We've talked a little bit about 14 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:15,300 this concept, of immeasurable assets on this podcast before. 15 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:21,600 And it's generally this sense of something that is valuable. 16 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:27,800 Even when it's difficult to measure or sort of put a clear 17 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,800 box around what it is. And confidence is one as one of 18 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,100 those things. You know it can be tricky to 19 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:41,800 correlate your confidence with your income or with you know, 20 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:47,800 other kinds of formal measures or recognition but just being a 21 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:52,600 human in the world when we do not have that. 22 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,500 Everything becomes much more difficult and much more 23 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,200 challenging when you do have confidence. 24 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:06,200 It allows you to move through the workplace through your 25 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:11,000 career through creating relationships in your life in a 26 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,100 very different kind of way. And it just changes the way that 27 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:18,900 you get to experience being a human in the world and being a 28 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:24,500 human at work, confidence become so important when we are Looking 29 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,900 at the context of being a manager. 30 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,400 And being in a manager relationship with other humans, 31 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,400 confidence becomes incredibly valuable. 32 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,700 And if you have ever had a manager who seem to lack 33 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:45,100 confidence who is always uncertain or who was changing 34 00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:48,200 their mind in a, very haphazard way, because they couldn't 35 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:53,300 simply decide and hold true to that, then, you know, that can 36 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,000 be a very difficult and uncomfortable working 37 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,600 relationship to have so confidence. 38 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,200 Comes very valuable for us at work. 39 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,700 I also want to acknowledge that the way we use the word 40 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:11,800 confidence is not just in the sense of having a quality of 41 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:17,500 belief in one's value or quality of certainty in oneself. 42 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:21,500 But we also use this word confidence in the sense of 43 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:26,600 holding, something in safety, holding something with respect, 44 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:31,800 and in protected care, in the sense of, if I share this. 45 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,000 With you. Will it be held in confidence? 46 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:39,700 I'm going to tell you something, but it is confidential, which 47 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:43,400 means you are not to share it with anyone else. 48 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:50,000 You must keep it safe within the protection of your own ears and 49 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:55,700 your own mind, your own brain. And we can use confidentiality 50 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:01,300 in a way that we kind of forget that it includes this, the sense 51 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,900 of what What does it? What does it mean? 52 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,900 What are we saying when we say confidence? 53 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,800 So I want to offer this perspective to you which is that 54 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:14,100 when you think of confidence, I'd like to invite you to think 55 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:20,399 of it as having Fidelity or having loyalty the sense of 56 00:04:20,899 --> 00:04:27,700 being safe within the space. So when you are thinking about 57 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:36,000 self-confidence, that is about Having full loyalty, full faith, 58 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:43,000 full Fidelity, with your self. When you are thinking, in terms 59 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:48,100 of holding information in confidence, you are doing that. 60 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:57,800 With a sense of full, trust full loyalty, full Fidelity for what 61 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:02,600 is being shared with you. And I want to be really clear 62 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,800 about this because what I've seen and I've experienced this 63 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,800 in my own life, the sense of confidence as being a 64 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:14,800 performative thing. Like, I will put on a show of 65 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,300 confidence, I will display the characteristics of it. 66 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,400 And what it feels like for me, is this kind of like putting on 67 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:26,300 a costume and sort of puffing myself up and trying to present 68 00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:29,200 a display? So, confidence, as a 69 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:34,700 performative. You know, behavior that you put 70 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:39,300 on in order to influence how other people are perceiving you 71 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:45,600 and that can become difficult. It can become it can actually 72 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,800 sort of undermined confidence because you can feel like you're 73 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,700 being fake or it can feel like you're trying to Puff yourself 74 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:56,600 up and make yourself bigger than you actually are, so it can be 75 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:00,200 useful in some contexts. But I also just want to get us 76 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,700 back to the Fundamental perspective of what confidence 77 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:05,200 is. It doesn't require any outward 78 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,600 performance or an outward display. 79 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:13,500 It's not about presenting yourself in a certain way, in 80 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:17,000 order to influence how other people perceive our experience. 81 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,800 You, that's not what we're talking about today. 82 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:25,800 And when you sort of slow down, and you think about this 83 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,700 question of, can I be faithful to myself? 84 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:36,100 Can I hold my own self with loyalty and Fidelity? 85 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:42,800 Can I bring a sense of certainty and safety to myself? 86 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,200 That is the kind of confidence that becomes incredibly 87 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:51,400 valuable. And here's why it starts To 88 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:57,400 unhook you from all of these other uncertain and variable 89 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:02,400 things. So, for example, I have coached 90 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:07,200 folks who are coming back into the workforce or going into a 91 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:13,600 professional place, after having many years of education and 92 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,100 school and Academia and one of the things that's really hard 93 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,800 that's come up in so many of these conversations. 94 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:25,000 Ian's is the sense of well I can be confident when I'm presenting 95 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,000 my research, or I can become confident when I'm presenting my 96 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:34,700 data because I have run the numbers because I have designed 97 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:41,800 this project to capture the most accurate data in the most, with 98 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,700 the greatest of integrity. And so, I feel confident that I 99 00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:49,900 can present this research, or these findings, or this data 100 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,500 with, Sense of great. Certainty. 101 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:57,200 And then what happens when they move into the workplace is 102 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,600 things are very uncertain. There's a lot of uncertainty, 103 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:05,300 all of the time, there is imperfect information, there are 104 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:08,300 things happening outside of your view. 105 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:15,300 And so you might be called to present or called to deliver 106 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:20,700 your findings, or your strategy, or your plan. 107 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:26,800 An or what your best guess is. And for someone who is so 108 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:31,600 steeped in an academic environment, where your job is 109 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,500 to look with highest level of scrutiny and get the most 110 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:41,400 uncertainty like to eliminate uncertainty. 111 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:47,900 And then present with confidence this shift into a workplace 112 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:50,700 setting or things are changing all of the time and you don't 113 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:54,200 Have access to perfect information can become very 114 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:59,300 unsettling. And what I have seen happen and 115 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,900 I'll share actually that I see this. 116 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:06,000 Also this can also show up within the legal profession and 117 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,900 you might know, I have a background in the legal 118 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,100 profession, I'm officially a lawyer. 119 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,400 I don't practice, I haven't practiced. 120 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,300 But that is a part of my path here. 121 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:18,400 And I mentioned that too. Because what I see is that 122 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,800 there's this desire for certainty of what is happening 123 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,400 in the outside world. And then when we attach our 124 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:30,300 confidence to That, that becomes very precarious, and it becomes 125 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:35,800 a little bit tricky. We will withhold our confidence. 126 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:39,100 We will say, I can't present this with a lot of confidence 127 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:45,300 because I'm just not sure and what can happen as a result is. 128 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:48,600 Then when you are presenting to upper management or you are 129 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:54,600 presenting to your team, you end up hedging, you end up saying, 130 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,600 well, you end up Saying you know it could go this way or that 131 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,600 way. I'm really not sure and what you 132 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,900 end up doing is you bring all of this uncertainty, this lack of 133 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:08,200 confidence? This self-doubt by presenting 134 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:14,900 all of these different angles? And because we record this 135 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:18,400 podcast in the real world at the moment. 136 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,800 There are all of these amazing motorcycles going by outside. 137 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,000 So that's a thing that happens sometimes. 138 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:40,200 So confidence when we attach it to certainty about the outside 139 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:45,000 world becomes problematic, and as a result, you can then show 140 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:49,000 up in a way that reflects great uncertainty, that reflects a lot 141 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,600 of doubt. And then that kind of has this 142 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:57,700 ripple effect. And I'm not saying to present a 143 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:01,800 false belief in the certainty of Uncertain things, but here's 144 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,800 where I want to direct you instead is I want you to Anchor 145 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:10,300 not into the outside world but to within your inside world the 146 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:16,000 sense of yes, even in the midst of changing circumstances and 147 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,400 even with the limited data and information we have I am making 148 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,100 this judgment call. This is my decision. 149 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:28,500 This is our best yes, because this is why. 150 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:34,400 You can still claim that confidence even in the presence 151 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:41,100 of uncertainty because you know why you're here, you know what 152 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:48,600 Falls within your scope of care. You have full Fidelity loyalty 153 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:53,900 and Trust in who you are as a person not that you are perfect 154 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:59,400 and have perfect information. But because you simply decide 155 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,700 that, you know what, I'm going to have my own back here. 156 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:07,500 I'm going to make this choice. I know why I'm here, and that's 157 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,700 enough. That's okay. 158 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:17,100 I've also seen this come up a lot when I have clients who are 159 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,300 an only. So if you are the youngest 160 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:25,000 person at the table, if you are the oldest person at the table, 161 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,700 if you are the only one who had a different professional 162 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:31,100 background before you joined a company. 163 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:35,400 If you are the only one who looks like you, if you are the 164 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,200 only one who has had the kind of background that you have, The 165 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:45,000 table. If you feel like, oh my gosh, 166 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:49,700 everyone here is this and I am not and so that feels like a 167 00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,200 wavering in your sense of self-confidence. 168 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,500 What I want to offer is this thought you can always have 169 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,400 confidence in knowing why you're there. 170 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:06,500 I know why I'm here. That is what your confidence 171 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,700 anchors into. So if you are the youngest 172 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:14,500 person in the room, your job is not to be older than people. 173 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:20,200 Your job is not to have more knowledge than people but you 174 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:24,000 know, why you're there? Maybe the way you answer that is 175 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:28,400 I'm here to provide a perspective that would not be 176 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,200 here. But for the fact that I am here, 177 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:37,300 Or you might decide I am here because it is my job to be here. 178 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:45,400 It's really simple. And even while I feel a little 179 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:50,100 uncertain, that's okay. Because I have certainty that I 180 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,900 am here, for a reason. I know what that reason is. 181 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:59,800 So now, let's move forward and it takes so much energy to hold 182 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,700 self-doubt. It takes so much energy to hold 183 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:08,800 that lack of confidence. When you start to find that 184 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:12,500 place within yourself, where you can say, you know what, like, I 185 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:18,200 have full Fidelity for loyalty, full trust in myself, and it's 186 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,700 okay if I'm wrong sometimes and it's okay if I don't have the 187 00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:25,700 most experience sometimes because I know why I'm here, 188 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:33,600 That creates so much ease. It allows you to really show up 189 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:39,400 in a more powerful way because then you're not trying to hide. 190 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,300 You're not trying to be what you're not. 191 00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:45,900 You're really just able to inhabit the space as you and 192 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:49,700 it's that confidence that allows you to do that. 193 00:14:54,200 --> 00:15:00,800 Now, one thing that can get in the way is I'd like you to 194 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:08,700 remember that as a human, we are kind of wired for social 195 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:13,100 connection. We are wired to seek a sense of 196 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:20,200 belonging and to feel connected with others, we will perceive 197 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:26,200 the emotions of those around us. And because we are human and we 198 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,700 take everything personally, we tend to make everything about 199 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:34,500 us. So if for example, I am at the 200 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:40,900 leadership table and I feel like I am, the only one who is my 201 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:47,400 age, or I'm the only one who is of my ethnic background and I am 202 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:52,500 starting to feel like I don't quite fit in and I'm with people 203 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,900 who may also hold Old unconscious biases and may 204 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:59,500 actually feel like I don't fit in what happens is, if I 205 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:04,200 perceive or sense, their uncertainty, I can then 206 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,200 internalize that and feel like, oh, maybe there is something 207 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,700 wrong with me, or maybe I am somehow not enough. 208 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:16,600 And I have to prove that. And this shows up in very subtle 209 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,900 ways between humans all the time, it's been happening since 210 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:24,700 you arrived on the planet. It's one of these in Visible. 211 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:30,100 But incredibly powerful, you know, things that happens with 212 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,900 people. And so with respect to 213 00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:38,800 confidence at work, the idea I'd like to offer you is that it's 214 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,200 okay for others to feel uncertainty. 215 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:48,300 That's okay, they can feel uncertain but I have certainty. 216 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,300 I know why I'm here. I know what I'm here to do. 217 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,600 I know what matters to me and how I'm here to contribute in 218 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,400 this situation. I don't need to have perfect 219 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,900 information and I don't even need for them to be on board. 220 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:10,000 With me, I can have enough space so that I am not attached to 221 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:14,000 them. And as a side note, this is Also 222 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,000 one of the things I find to be so valuable about having a 223 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,800 coach, or a community, or a counselor, or someone who is 224 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:27,200 outside of the work environment to process thinking and have 225 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:31,100 these kinds of conversations with because things happen 226 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,800 through our work, all of the time and we don't always have 227 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:39,200 that that moment to pause and say, whoa, what just happened? 228 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:43,100 Something weird happened and because it was in this meeting. 229 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,800 Ting. I just kept my mouth shut 230 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,000 because I wasn't quite sure how to process that, but being able 231 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,800 to speak with somebody else who's not within that 232 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:56,600 environment can be incredibly grounding and orienting. 233 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:05,200 So when you feel uncertain or when you feel like gosh, maybe 234 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,600 I'm feeling a lack of confidence and I, you know, I don't believe 235 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,900 that my manager Believes In Me Or I don't believe that my 236 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:18,200 Believes In Me as an initial starting point, just decide 237 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:26,200 that, that's okay, that's okay. And then decide What is it that 238 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:34,800 you can find certainty in? How can you find confidence? 239 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:40,700 In yourself, who you are? Why are there even when things 240 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:45,700 are uncertain or you might not have perfect information? 241 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:50,100 I think one of the things that I most love about working with new 242 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:57,900 managers is, it's very often this Age of realizing that who 243 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:02,000 you are being in the world can influence and affect the larger 244 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:06,000 organization that you're a part of just because you exist in 245 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,500 that space. And one of the things that's 246 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:14,900 hard is that you will feel a pressure to conform to sort of 247 00:19:14,908 --> 00:19:18,500 how things are done. And there's always going to be a 248 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:24,000 bit of a negotiation between what is the existing landscape. 249 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:26,700 Scape and power structure that you're working in. 250 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:32,800 And who are you here to be? And how will you influence and 251 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:39,600 gently change the shape of that? Just because that's who you want 252 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,000 to be. I need to do another podcast 253 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,300 episode on the distinction between leadership and 254 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,900 management, but I just want to offer you this perspective on 255 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:52,000 it. While I have you here leadership 256 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,900 is a choice managing People is a set of skills. 257 00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,800 And what this means is you get to be a leader. 258 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,800 Whether you are the newest person in the organization, even 259 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:09,800 if you have no direct reports, you can be a leader just by the 260 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:14,500 choices you make and how you relate to others and in how you 261 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:18,000 show up for yourself. And for those that you are 262 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,600 connected to, that is completely separate from the skill set of 263 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,000 man. Judging people. 264 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:30,800 And so working with new managers and why I'm so delighted to have 265 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,500 this time with you and to have you here is that we get to begin 266 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,800 to explore. What is this going to mean for 267 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:43,000 you as you rise invisibility, as you gain responsibility and you 268 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:48,300 feel the uncertainty around your sense of confidence and then 269 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:53,200 begin to find a more study footing with that. 270 00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:00,700 So it might be interesting as you go into your work week to 271 00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:05,500 take time and notice where do you feel a sense of confidence? 272 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,700 Where do you feel that absence of that? 273 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,100 Where do you feel like you need to perform? 274 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:19,000 And display the presentation of confidence. 275 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:24,000 Where do you actually feel it? Genuinely in your life and if 276 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,000 it's been a while because some of us have had work experiences 277 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,100 that were so undermining of our sense of confidence in our self 278 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:36,400 and it's a real drag when that happens, but it's definitely a 279 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:41,100 thing that that happens in the world and recovering that 280 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,800 recovering from that can be a bit of work. 281 00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:49,300 But take time to also notice what is it like for you 282 00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:54,200 personally to feel a sense of confidence when have you 283 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,900 experienced that? What does that feel like? 284 00:21:56,900 --> 00:22:00,300 When its present for you and maybe it has nothing to do with 285 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:03,700 your work life? Maybe it's about something else 286 00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,500 that you've experienced in the course of being a human on the 287 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,900 planet. But you want to understand for 288 00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:12,100 yourself what is it? Genuine feeling of confidence 289 00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:17,300 feel like for me, it's Kind of this sense of trust with myself 290 00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:20,500 that even though I can't control everything and there's a lot of 291 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,800 uncertainty. I know that I'm good with me. 292 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:30,700 I know that I'm good with me that it's okay to not be perfect 293 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:35,200 that it's okay, to make mistakes to appreciate what I do. 294 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:40,700 Bring into the room and I'll share to and, you know, in the 295 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:43,700 last year as my work. And the way that I've worked 296 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:46,900 with, people has changed a lot because of the pandemic. 297 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:51,400 And what that has meant for working with people, one of the 298 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,200 things that I have really found a great sense of confidence, And 299 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:58,300 relief in this question of, why am I here? 300 00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:00,500 What am I here to bring? What is it that I want to 301 00:23:00,508 --> 00:23:05,500 contribute, and I've distilled it into this one statement that 302 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:09,200 I will share with you. Now, in case it is helpful and 303 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:16,800 it's this I use my gifts. Doing work. 304 00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:22,800 I love with people. I respect for people. 305 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:27,800 I care about when I remember that. 306 00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:35,700 I use my gifts doing work, I love with people, I respect for 307 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:39,100 people. I care about that's something I 308 00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:43,900 can anchor into my sense of confidence, feels so grounded 309 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:47,800 and so clear. And the way that I live, that 310 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,200 the way that that truth shows up in my work, life can look like a 311 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:56,400 lot of different ways, right? Like it can look like my 312 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,600 coaching practice can look like tea. 313 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,300 In my meditation classes, it can look like working within a 314 00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:07,200 global organization. But this through line that is 315 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,900 something that I have confidence in, that is something I am loyal 316 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:15,400 to, because I have chosen that I have decided that I have 317 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,100 Fidelity and I hold myself with care. 318 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:24,300 That is the kind of confidence. I want to point you towards in 319 00:24:24,300 --> 00:24:28,600 yourself. Because that too, when we're at 320 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:34,600 work, that is something that is so valuable in our leaders and 321 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:40,400 for you as a manager, when you can bring that sense of 322 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,900 certainty and calm groundedness to your team. 323 00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:53,400 It is immeasurable the value and the benefit that you bring So 324 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:56,900 that is what I wanted to share with you today, this idea of 325 00:24:56,900 --> 00:25:03,600 confidence of finding a sense of being in true faith and Fidelity 326 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,800 and loyalty to yourself that no matter what. 327 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:13,400 You've got your own back that no matter what else changes you are 328 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:19,600 good with you. Bringing a lot of Grace to 329 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:25,200 yourself and then allowing that to radiate outward, to all of 330 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,900 the relationships that you have in the workplace. 331 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,300 Thank you so much for listening. I hope you have a wonderful rest 332 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:35,100 of your day. I'll see you in the next 333 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:41,600 episode. Do you want personal 334 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,500 confidential help with your situation at work? 335 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,700 I offer one-on-one coaching and can help you overcome challenges 336 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:53,300 reach your goals and become a more effective leader to 337 00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:55,900 schedule a consult. Go to my website. 338 00:25:55,900 --> 00:26:01,200 Kim nickel.com Coaching and we'll schedule time to talk 339 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,800 about what's going on with you and how I can help talk to you 340 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:00,800 soon. Coaching and we'll schedule time 341 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,600 to talk about what's going on with you and how I can help talk 342 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,300 to you soon.