Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here. And I hope you're doing well
today. I wanted to remind you that even
when you begin to feel more confident, it doesn't mean that
you have absolute certainty that you can control the outcome that
you want to have. Meaning, you might still feel
some self-doubt or you might still feel uncertain about, you
know, whether either the thing you're about to do is going to
work, but when you are able to tap into this more grounded
sense of confidence that includes the Curiosity of, I'm
curious to know what might come of this.
That makes all the difference in the world because what I see a
lot of is this internal thought of what's the point and if
you've ever had that thought, what's the point?
It can kind of trick you into Giving up early into not
following through to find out what's actually possible.
It's kind of a defensive mechanism.
What's the point then? I won't even ask for something.
That way, I won't have to feel disappointed.
If I don't try, then I won't fail and then I don't have to
feel like I failed this internal thought.
It's so simple. What's the point?
Especially if you've had prior experiences that didn't go.
Oh, the way you are hoping. What's the point?
It just sounds logical and it can lead you into not speaking
up. So one of the things that I
really want to encourage you to think about is, where can you
number one recognize, when that thought comes up and choose to
go forward? Anyways, from the place of
curiosity. So the thought of what's the
point. If I asked for this, I don't
think it's in the budget. I don't think Say yes, but I
wonder what might happen I'm going to ask.
Anyways, that Curiosity can help to get you past that little gate
of what's the point. And this is so valuable to know
because one of the things that may happen as you continue to
rise and grow in your career and as you become more visible and
gain more responsibility, as a Manager and as a leader, it can
feel riskier. Like there's more at stake if
something doesn't go the way you want or the other thing I see,
sometimes is this thought of well, now that I'm in this
position of responsibility and this position of leadership, I
really need to have a handle on everything.
I don't want to ask for support, I don't want to ask for other
things I just I need to make it work with what I have and so we
end up kind of inadvertently Access to options because you've
decided in advance that the option isn't available to you.
And there are two specific situations that made me think of
this today that I wanted to share with you one is someone
who had reached out to me for coaching and because so much of
the work I do directly affects the work that you do in your
workplace. I'll often ask.
Are you going? Are you planning to pay for this
yourself? Or is this part of your
professional development? Development budget because that
affects, you know, sometimes how we think about the logistics of
how it all plays out. And this person said, well I
really want my work to pay for it but I don't think it's in the
budget. And so why coached her on the
call about? How are you going to approach
it? What is your thinking?
What's your approach? How are you planning to raise
this topic and make the ask and she shared with me?
And I said, I have an idea for a slightly different It approach.
Can I share that with you? She said, sure.
And so I told her and she's like, oh I can see how that's a
little bit different. Okay, that makes sense.
And she wrote back to me recently and said I was very
surprised, but I actually presented this to my supervisor
and they've decided to completely support me 100% And
they're going to fund me and sponsor me to work with you.
I love that. I love that.
So much. So that was the first story.
Is that even if you think oh I don't know that it's available.
You still want to ask from that place of curiosity because that
may get you a resource that was there.
If only you had asked and I think sometimes what we do is we
try to feel it out beforehand. Like we might say Hey you know
how much budget do we have available?
You know, just it was thinking just wanted to know Try to be
really casual about it rather than saying there's this coach,
I want to work with she cost this much.
What can we do? What budget do we have for this
when we approached it? Instead of kind of this open,
you know, Vago just wondering super casual versus being really
specific and clear this is what I want and why I've done some
research listen to her podcast, it really has helped.
I would love to work with her one-on-one.
This is how it works. What can we do that tends to
convey a lot? More sense of Readiness and
Leadership and taking full responsibility.
And all of those qualities are really positive to signal to
your supervisor. So there was that story and then
the other one is from someone who was in my group program
earlier this year and she sent me an update that she had gotten
promoted, which is awesome. It was one of the things that we
had talked about and coached on when we were in our group.
And what's so cool is that Said they had initially offered her a
ten percent increase, which is great, but it was still below
her goal and so she negotiated and was able to get them to
about 14% And she's also eligible for a raise later this
year during the annual review period.
And she said, this is a much better deal than the last time
when, you know, something different happened.
And I mentioned that because it is amazing to know.
Even though in the past things went one way in the future,
things can go a different way, we don't always know, but we
tend to assume that what happened before is what will
happen again and so then that inner voice comes up.
What's the point? Should I even ask?
They'll probably say no last time I asked this is what
happened. We want to be able to identify
that voice and be like, oh, that's my Internal self-doubt or
that's the internal part of me that is trying to prevent me
from feeling disappointed or feeling, let down so that we can
then move past that tap into the Curiosity of.
I wonder what will happen if I wonder if I go for it they might
say yes that would be wild. That could happen and I
especially love practicing this around, professional development
and learning. Earning because it's often an
area where even if you're not in an active conversation about
your professional development budget, it's not a weird thing
to bring up your manager. Your workplace.
Someone is already thinking about this.
If not for you specifically, understanding the concept as a
whole for the organization, even if it's a start-up, and there's
not a formal policy Let's see, the idea of professional
development is not an unusual or strange thing.
You might be the first person to raise that question.
Hey, I know we haven't talked about professional development
but I found this Workshop. I want to take or I found a
certification, I want to do or I found a program or a conference
or a coach, like, I found something that will make me
better at the job that I'm doing and it tends to signal.
That you're taking lots of responsibility for your own
Career Development and growth. That's a good thing.
If you're coming with already a specific idea of what you want,
it makes it easier for the person making that decision to
say, yes and to evaluate because you know, you're not asking them
to do all of this research. You're saying, oh I found this
thing, this is how it works. What do you think?
And what's really cool is, I've seen this work even after
someone has Paid for something. So last year I was working with
a client and there was a continuing education class that
she signed up for and she didn't tell her work about it.
She thought, I'll just sign up for this class on, you know,
economic sustainability and development and she's like, oh I
think it'll really help me with my work, but I just, I really
want to take it. So she just signed up and after
we had worked together, she had the idea of I wonder if my work
would pay for this. I wonder if they would
reimburse. Verse me for taking this class.
And so she went back to her manager and said, you know, I've
been taking this class, you know, this this continuing
education on this topic. I think it'll really help me
with the work that we're doing. What's our reimbursement policy
for professional development? Is this something that I could
get reimbursed for? And it turns out her manager.
Said yes, she said, oh, that's a great idea.
Isn't that great? So, It's really it's really
wonderful is just this awareness that, you know, even if you've
already gone ahead and paid for something because you didn't
think that it was possible to get reimbursed or you, weren't
sure if your work would be on board, it's still possible to
raise the question and to make that ask.
And so if you have that thought of, oh, what's the point?
Like, I already am have taken this class, I already paid for
it. Myself, you still might be able
to get reimbursed. And even if they say, no, you're
still conveying. All of these other really
positive qualities about being very invested in yourself and
being committed in your career and being engaged in the topic.
And again, all of these are positive things.
And I mentioned that this now too, because we're coming into
the middle of the year, which for some of you means you're
coming to the end of the fiscal year.
And so, budgets may be resetting Come, you know July for some of
you you might be coming into the middle of your year so this is
the time to check in say is it, you know, what are you doing?
And your professional development, sometimes that
falls by the wayside because we get so busy in what's happening
day to day. So you want to pause and just
take a look and reevaluate, okay?
Like what is it that will help you now based on what you know
about who you are and where you are and what you do and And
where you want to go in terms of your Learning and Development
and Leadership, and manager skills.
It's also great to think about this mid-year, because you're
also thinking about like, what is the budget?
We still have available and actually, as I mentioned that to
if July is when your fiscal year ends, you might be looking at
four more weeks to use whatever budget is left.
So there might be a Are you willing you know, approvals
process? If you're looking at like oh we
didn't use all of the budget that we had for our professional
development. We need to actually use those
dollars if they were set aside. So you know, it's a good time of
year for so many reasons to pause and check in with yourself
with your budget with your team to think about what is the
Learning and Development that you want and how to ask for it.
What school to is that this skill Kill of noticing what it
is that you need, what it is that you want the willingness to
ask for it to make it easy for someone to say, yes, to you that
skill set, you will use in a lot of other situations.
What's nice is that this is such, I think of it as a much
easier, place to practice it. You don't want to wait until
things are extremely serious or dire or Are heavy.
And as I mentioned before, Learning and Development tends
to be an area that is top of mind and normalized.
And it's like, not a weird thing to talk about or to ask for and
you start to build that muscle of identifying what you want,
how to ask for it. How to think about it, in a way
that makes it easy for the other person to say.
Yes. So that you can just move
forward and all of these, I mean, these are also leadership
skills. Eels, but we learn to apply them
to yourself first because that's often a place that we tend to
overlook. Especially if you're very
service oriented, especially if you're very, you know,
mission-driven, it's easier to focus more on the mission than
on yourself. So that is what I wanted to
share with you today. The idea of noticing when you
hear that voice inside that says, what's the point?
That will inhibit you that will keep you from making an ask from
for advocating for yourself. Oh and kind of one adjacent
thought to. So I've been teaching about
self-advocacy speaking up for yourself and also around
boundaries. So the gentle know and how to
say no to things they're very closely connected.
They're two sides of the same coin or two facets of the same
Jewel if you will Sometimes that same thought.
What's the point? Also pops up when I'm teaching
and coaching around boundaries, people will say, ah, what's the
point? You know?
I, I have to, I have to overwork because, X y&z or what's the
point? I don't think I can set a
boundary with this person because of the power Dynamic.
I just don't think it will work. Or what's the point, you know?
They're just going to kind of keep interrupting me and nothing
I do can get them to change. What's the point?
We To address that same kind of mindset there too because that
will also prevent you from developing.
The skill of communicating, clearly of having great
boundaries of working with different kinds of people and
personalities. It's always easy to work with
people that are just like you that think the same way that
have the same motivations. But when we are working with
someone who has a very different perspective and Worldview and
has motivated by different kinds of things.
It can feel sometimes, very perplexing and kind of
confusing. Like why is this communication
not working? Why are they saying yes?
They understand and then they are not changing their behavior.
Like I thought we talked about this what why is this?
Why is this still happening or why is this not happening?
That is when we really want to start to develop the underlying
skills? Bring more awareness.
Bring more curiosity, bring more intentional practice and a lot
of kindness. So they all go together
noticing, where that thought of what's the point pops up,
noticing, how you are asking for what you want, how you are
establishing boundaries and finding easy ways to practice.
So that is what I wanted to share with you today thinking
about your professional development and getting what you
want and If you want my help with that, just book, a consult,
what can talk about it? And yes, we can definitely talk
about how to approach your work to ask for them to sponsor you,
if you want to work with me and you want to have your work
sponsor you for that, I love that conversation.
All right, thank you so much for listening.
Have a great week and we'll talk to you next time.
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This podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what
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