Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome.
I hope you're doing well. I am glad that you're here.
And what I want us to dive into today, is this idea of
perfection and how it will bite you in the butt.
And I want you to be aware of this.
One of the things that I notice with my students and clients who
are new managers, Is everyone has a very strong desire to do a
good job at managing their team, which is a good thing.
But the difficult part sometimes shows up, when I see people,
like, I see you wanting to be perfect.
And what that turns into is extraordinary, self-judgment it
turns into To putting a ton of pressure on yourself and a lot
of anxiety and fear about will others.
See me, making a mistake. Will I do something wrong.
What if I mess up? What if I'm not actually cut out
for this? This is more difficult than I
thought it would be, or this is difficult in ways.
I didn't realize, it would be and all That ends up undermining
the confidence in the value that you have to bring to your
organization and to your team. And it's kind of sneaky because
remember, the initial intention is really great, right?
Like you want to do a good job and you're excited because
you're now in this manager role and you've been wanting that for
a while and now you're there, but it can twist and become
extraordinary. Ordinarily unhelpful because it
will isolate you, which means you won't ask for help.
It will prevent you from being very genuine and authentic
because you'll be trying to manage your image or what you
think other people think about you.
So rather than simply saying okay I'm figuring this out and
you know, I'm going to need to ask for help as I sort this as I
sort this out in. Have doing that you'll pretend
or you'll try to hide it and that it just it doesn't work.
And if you've found yourself kind of caught in this
conundrum, then you know, it's not, it doesn't really work, but
we do it because we are human. So, if that is you right now, I
want you to know it is, okay? Like that is such a normal thing
to happen. So instead some ways to think
about This. And I've talked about this
before in a few different ways in this podcast, the episode
about the to be list, really gets into this, right?
Like the idea of decide who you want to be, or one word that
will ground you in who like who you want to be on this day your
being will drive. You're doing.
So you don't have to worry about, I have to take all these
specific actions if you simply decide, okay?
Today I am going to be willing like I'm going to be willing to
try things. I'm going to be willing to ask
for help. I'm going to be willing to
Simply listen and not take a lot of action until I have a good
sense of what the situation is. If you choose that to be list,
right? The one word for this one day
that you will come back to that, you will be the way that you are
will inform the actions. You take what you do.
So you don't have to kind of plan this elaborate, you know,
plan of action. And so your creative brain
actually becomes more available in the moment to In the most
appropriate way it can relieve some of that pressure, because
then you're not judging yourself against whether or not you are
executing according to your plan that you made, you know,
yesterday. Like it just allows you to be in
the moment being responsive and receptive and fully engaged with
what is really happening in the moment, which is really
valuable. So this idea of when, you know
who you want to be right, like the to be list.
Also in an earlier episode when we were talking about confidence
and decoupling your sense of Confidence from absolute
certainty and perfect information, right?
Like there will be times when as a manager you are required to
make a decision with imperfect information or Under
less-than-ideal circumstances and you will make your best
assessment, you will use your discernment and make your your
best judgment call on the moment.
And as it plays out, you may need to then make another
decision because maybe the one that you made didn't actually
work out the way you thought it would and that's okay, it
happens, right? But what we want is to be able
to very quickly We reassess adapt and move forward.
We want you to be able to learn as you go and it's really hard
to learn. If you're kind of carrying this
heavy baggage of self judgement and anxiety and feeling bad that
you're letting people down like it can really get in the way.
And so I'm wanting to do, share this with you.
And you know, this is also like everything I share here.
Also, learned from personal experience, I have been there,
so I want to share this with you to, hopefully offer some
perspectives that might help you.
So this is our simple key message for today, watch out for
perfection. It comes from a place of wanting
to help, but it will bite you in the butt and actually prevent
you from learning quickly from adopting, quickly from building
trust quickly. And so, I wanted to offer that
perspective to you. Also this idea of deciding who
you want to be. How are you going to show up?
Who do you want to be for your team?
Who do you want to be within your organization?
Perfection is a lot less valuable than being someone who
is learning or being someone who is adding value by bringing your
perspective or by doing things in a slightly different way that
others would not have realized could be very effective.
Like there are so many different ways that when you let go of
perfection, you kind of open the door to all of this other
possibility and all of this other value that really becomes
something that you own that you bring with you, anywhere you go
and this. like, if I had a visual highlighter or like
sparkle stickers, I put it around this part of this
episode, because Hi, I want you. To know that you can choose.
Who you are going to be, what kind of leader?
What kind of manager? What kind of person you are
going to be no matter what else is happening around you.
So no matter what is happening in your industry, how will you
show up for yourself and for your team?
No matter what changes happen within your organization,
whether it's a leadership change or Merger or, you know, or
layoffs, or whatever happens in your organization, can you
choose who you want to be no matter what else is happening
around you? When you change organizations,
can you stay clear and connected to that?
Which is true for you about who you want to be and how you want
to show up as a leader in your Industry in your organization.
And this last point, I think is so important because I work with
so many students. And so many clients over the
years and the site this topic of culture, right, like the culture
of my organization is like this, therefore, I have to respond in
this way. We can get really wrapped up in
needing the culture of our organization to be a certain
way. In order for us.
To be how we want to be and that gets very fraught.
Like, that is not helpful. That becomes very difficult
because then what we end up doing is we end up kind of
releasing our responsibility for ourselves, which is really where
the, the seat of your power sits, right?
Like you might have heard me share this perspective before,
which is the most powerful seat. In any organization, like, if
you're looking at the org chart and you're trying to decide,
where is the power here, the most powerful seat is the one
that you are sitting in. Because it is only from your
seat that you have any leverage at all that you have any
influence at all. So it doesn't really matter if
you are the newest hire. If you are the most senior
higher, if you are the most Junior person, if you are the
most, you know, seasoned experienced person like wherever
you are in the org chart, that is where the most power will be
for you. So be mindful if you're noticing
that the culture in which your swimming within your
organization is not bringing out your best, you want to pay
attention to that. It's really easy to kind of
collapse and to, you know, go into coping mode and I have seen
this in so many different ways. It's so much easier to develop
your coping strategies, then your exit strategy.
Geez, because, you know, it's draining in so many dimensions
and so many ways. But what I want us to come back
to is this idea that when you are choosing who you want, to
be, no matter what the culture of the organization is around,
you, that becomes something that brings in more of that
confidence that lives in, you know, Matter what else is
happening. And it's something that as a
coach and as a teacher I love seeing like the this spark of
realization in my students, when they realize.
Wow, I can actually decide how I want to show up and who I want
to be no matter what else is happening around me like, that
is so powerful and it is of such value to your team because when
we are, Are as an organization when you are in a challenging
situation. I mean, we all want to be able
to look to someone in a leadership or manager position
and feel a sense of groundedness and calm and confidence.
Like okay, no matter what else is going on.
There's a steadiness in them that is not dependent upon
outside things. Going a certain way, you know.
It's one thing. It's one thing to feel like,
yeah, I'm a really great manager.
Only when everything is going exactly how I expect it to, but
we really really value. And especially all of us now, is
knowing that even when things around us in the outside world
are unpredictable or unsteady or uncertain or there's a lot of
change happening. When we can look to our manager,
our leader, with a sense of trust with a sense that okay?
Like they have confidence in who they are and who they are here
to be that allows us all to do, better work to sleep better at
night, to work more. Collaboratively and creatively
with one another, that improves things in so many Ways and
what's really nice is that it's always available to you, it's
always an option. So remember a few moments ago, I
was talking about how you might make a decision and then realize
you need to make another one because the one you made is not
going to get you to the to what it is that you need.
This also applies to how we show up.
So as a human, we have a lot of range, sometimes we have a lot
of patience, sometimes we don't sometimes we're feeling very
confident, sometimes are. Insecurities flare-up it's all
fine. Again.
Remember Perfection is not the goal remembering who you want to
be and then choosing to show up in that way asking.
What would I do? What would I choose if I was
going to be connected to my sense of purpose today or to my
desire to uplift and support others today, or my desire to
contribute. In a meaningful way.
Today, all of that will really change the way that you show up
as a manager for your team and also for yourself.
So, take all of that Cimarron, it listen to this episode.
Again, if you need to be covered a lot in a very short period of
time, and I hope that you enjoy and get great use out of this in
your work life. Thanks so much.
I'll talk to you. Next time.
Do you want personal confidential help with your
situation at work. I offer one-on-one coaching and
can help you overcome challenges reach your goals and become a
more effective leader to schedule a consult.
Go to my website, Kim nickel.com coaching and we'll schedule time
to talk about what's going on with you and how I can help talk
to you soon.