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Welcome to the New Manager 
Podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nicoll. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well if you are new

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to the show. 
My name is Kim Nicoll. 

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I'm a professional coach, and I 
help people with life, with 

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leadership, with being more 
mindful so that you can show up 

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as that calm, competent, capable
person that you are. 

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It might not always feel that 
way, especially when you're 

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doing something new, and 
especially when you're stepping 

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into bigger roles of 
responsibility in your career 

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and work. 
But I believe that you have this

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baseline of confidence that is 
always there. 

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Just sometimes you start to feel
a little bit more uncertain when

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you're facing something new. 
So my job is to help you to 

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access that natural, confident 
place so that you can show up as

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the leader you want to be and 
that you can live the life that 

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you want to live in. 
You know the the course of 

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different changes that you're 
going to see in the workplace. 

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What's been on my mind lately 
that I wanted to share with you 

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is how making a decision can 
really reveal a lot about where 

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you feel confident and what you 
do when you perceive risk. 

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So anytime we're making a 
decision, we are making a choice

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that will then have some kind of
outcome or consequence. 

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You may not be able to see the 
full path of where that choice 

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will lead, and how you respond 
to that can give you a lot of 

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information. 
I've mentioned this in an 

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earlier episode. 
But so much about growing into 

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greater levels of responsibility
in your career is about what 

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kinds of decisions do you get to
make based on that role. 

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For so many of us early in our 
career, it's not about making 

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decisions that affect other 
people. 

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It's more about being good at 
executing the specific task or 

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function that we are assigned 
to. 

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But as you go on and you step 
into bigger roles and bigger 

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responsibilities, now the job 
becomes a lot more about what 

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are the decisions that you will 
make that will absolutely affect

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other people. 
And that can also be where the 

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stress and the uncertainty and 
the the second guessing can come

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in. 
Because anytime you're making a 

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decision, of course there's a 
measure of risk because there's 

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always some uncertainty. 
We don't have perfect 

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information. 
You don't have perfect control 

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over other people or over the 
industry or over other things 

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that are happening in the world.
And yet your job requires you to

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make decisions. 
So with a lot of, you know, the 

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folks that I work with, when I'm
working one-on-one, there will 

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always be at some point in time 
the question of how do you make 

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decisions or what is the 
decision that you are facing 

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now? 
And then what is the process 

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that you will use to come to a 
decision so that you can move 

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on. 
One of the things I like to 

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point out is that there's always
going to be a little bit of 

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discomfort in the decision 
because there's the uncertainty 

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part and we want to reduce the 
risk, and uncertainty can feel 

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uncomfortable, but there's also 
the discomfort of not deciding. 

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This comes up especially in 
communication. 

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So you might think, oh, I I need
to have a tough conversation. 

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It will be uncomfortable. 
So we avoid the tough 

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conversation because we don't, 
you know, we don't want to be in

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that situation of discomfort. 
But then you have the discomfort

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of not having that conversation.
And especially if it's something

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about feedback or if it's about 
setting a boundary or making a 

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request, it's kind of like you 
can have the discomfort of 

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things not changing, or you can 
have the discomfort that will be

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required to change things in a 
positive way. 

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So which discomfort would you 
rather have? 

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The one that keeps you, you 
know, stuck and burned out and 

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keeps things the same. 
Or the discomfort that can 

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possibly lead to a better 
outcome and a positive change in

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your schedule and in your 
energy. 

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Sometimes it really is about 
understanding that we're not 

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going to avoid the discomfort. 
Instead, we want to mindfully 

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choose from a very grounded and 
purposeful place. 

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Another thing related to this I 
wanted to share is that one of 

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the most exhausting things is 
avoiding making a decision. 

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And here's how you can tell what
that looks like. 

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But yes, you're going to gather 
information. 

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You're definitely going to 
consider your options. 

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You want to evaluate risk, 
Consider the potential 

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downsides, and also the upsides.
Sure, you might talk to other 

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people to get other people's 
perspectives, maybe opinions, 

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maybe advice. 
But the way you know that you're

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actually stalling, that you're 
actually avoiding a decision, is

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that all of that research? 
If it leaves you feeling more 

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confused instead of more clear, 
you're probably hiding. 

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You're probably avoiding that 
decision if you feel that the 

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more research you do, the more 
exhausted you become because 

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you're going down rabbit holes 
and you're not actually feeling 

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more energized about your next 
step. 

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That's also an indicator that 
you're probably not actually 

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conducting due diligence, but 
instead you are stalling to 

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avoid making a decision. 
And what you might not realize 

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is that the avoidance will drain
your energy, will leave you 

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feeling too overwhelmed and 
uncertain to do anything. 

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You won't have the energy 
required to make a change. 

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I sometimes see this as it's 
like you'd rather invest in your

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coping strategy than your change
strategy. 

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And to be clear, it's not 
something that's happening on 

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the surface, It's a little bit 
more in the subconscious mind 

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you're trying to control for 
safety and avoid risk. 

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So on the surface of the mind, 
you know, you tell yourself, oh,

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it'll be really good for me to 
do all this research. 

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And I'm going to talk to 20 
different people and get their 

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opinions. 
And of course, you're going to 

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get lots of different opinions. 
And so you'll try to decide, 

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like, who should I listen to? 
What should I decide? 

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And so if you find yourself in 
that position where you're 

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feeling overwhelmed, you're 
feeling more uncertain, there's 

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a good sign that you've now 
stepped out of decision making 

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and you've actually just stepped
into avoidance of discomfort. 

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And what we do when we find 
ourselves there is we take a 

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look at what is it that you're 
really trying to solve for? 

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What really have you learned, 
and what are the concerns that 

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you still have? 
We start to look the fear part 

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directly, and we start to accept
that yes, we will have imperfect

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information, imperfect 
resources. 

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We start asking what is it that 
really matters here? 

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What is it that you really want?
And realize that the freedom 

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that you get by making a 
decision and moving forward will

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feel so much better than the 
freedom you think you have by 

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keeping your options open and 
delaying making a decision. 

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It's kind of like if you're not 
making a decision, it's like 

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having all these open tabs on 
your browser and they seem to 

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not cost you anything. 
But what they're doing is 

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they're draining your energy, 
they're making everything run 

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slower, and it's keeping you 
stuck. 

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And we want to be mindful that 
we don't get too comfortable in 

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that stuck, drained place. 
Instead, we want to get clear 

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about how do you make decisions 
so that you can access the 

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freedom that comes from choosing
and then moving forward when you

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feel more confident in how you 
make decisions and you stop 

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second guessing yourself so 
much. 

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There's so much other energy and
so much relief that comes from 

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that. 
And I really see it as a skill, 

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you know, like what your 
decision making process is like,

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that is a skill. 
And so don't, you know, don't be

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hard on yourself. 
Like none of this is to, you 

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know, kind of make you feel bad 
or make you realize like, Oh no,

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like I've totally been avoiding 
a decision and actually just I 

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started researching and then I 
got tired and then I just then I

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just stopped. 
It's a really human thing that 

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we do because it's a lot about 
how you deal with perceived 

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risk, and a lot of that happens 
a bit beneath the surface. 

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So realize that you know, if 
this is something that is 

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happening in your life, just 
accept it and acknowledge it. 

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What are the decisions that 
you're avoiding? 

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What are the things that you're 
delaying? 

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Because on the surface, you're 
saying to yourself this is a 

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really good idea. 
I'm going to, you know, do all 

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of this due diligence and be 
really honest if that's 

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something that is accurate. 
Like are you getting more clear 

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with all the more information 
you're getting? 

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Or are you simply overloading 
yourself and starting to scare 

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yourself with all or nothing 
thinking and worst case 

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scenario, thinking. 
We want to get you more clear so

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that you can move forward and 
let it not feel like such a 

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heavy, heavy thing, but instead 
feel more confident in the 

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decisions that you're making. 
So that is what I wanted to 

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share with you. 
It's going to save you so much 

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energy and time. 
And if this is something that 

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you want help with, if you want 
to learn how to become more 

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confident in making decisions 
and become more aware of when 

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you drift into the rabbit hole 
of confusion, then come and work

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with me. 
I take a limited number of 

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one-on-one clients each year, 
but I have space right now. 

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And if you want to do this work 
together, there's so much that 

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we can do to help you feel more 
confident. 

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And then, you know, sleep better
at night because you know where 

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you can bring all those 
questions and have that thought 

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partnership about what's 
happening in your work and 

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career. 
So for that, go into the show 

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notes, book a consultation so 
that we can talk about your 

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situation, your goals, and how I
can help you. 

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Or go to my website 
kimnickel.com and you'll see the

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link to Book a consult there. 
Have a great week and I will 

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talk to you next time. 
When you're more effective at 

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work, you're happier in your 
life. 

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And when you're happier in your 
life, you're more effective at 

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work. 
I can help. 

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Go to my website, Kim Nickel Com
and sign up for a coaching 

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consult. 
It can get better.