Welcome to the New Manager Podcast.
I'm your host, Kim Nicoll. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well if you are new
to the show. My name is Kim Nicoll.
I'm a professional coach, and I help people with life, with
leadership, with being more mindful so that you can show up
as that calm, competent, capable person that you are.
It might not always feel that way, especially when you're
doing something new, and especially when you're stepping
into bigger roles of responsibility in your career
and work. But I believe that you have this
baseline of confidence that is always there.
Just sometimes you start to feel a little bit more uncertain when
you're facing something new. So my job is to help you to
access that natural, confident place so that you can show up as
the leader you want to be and that you can live the life that
you want to live in. You know the the course of
different changes that you're going to see in the workplace.
What's been on my mind lately that I wanted to share with you
is how making a decision can really reveal a lot about where
you feel confident and what you do when you perceive risk.
So anytime we're making a decision, we are making a choice
that will then have some kind of outcome or consequence.
You may not be able to see the full path of where that choice
will lead, and how you respond to that can give you a lot of
information. I've mentioned this in an
earlier episode. But so much about growing into
greater levels of responsibility in your career is about what
kinds of decisions do you get to make based on that role.
For so many of us early in our career, it's not about making
decisions that affect other people.
It's more about being good at executing the specific task or
function that we are assigned to.
But as you go on and you step into bigger roles and bigger
responsibilities, now the job becomes a lot more about what
are the decisions that you will make that will absolutely affect
other people. And that can also be where the
stress and the uncertainty and the the second guessing can come
in. Because anytime you're making a
decision, of course there's a measure of risk because there's
always some uncertainty. We don't have perfect
information. You don't have perfect control
over other people or over the industry or over other things
that are happening in the world. And yet your job requires you to
make decisions. So with a lot of, you know, the
folks that I work with, when I'm working one-on-one, there will
always be at some point in time the question of how do you make
decisions or what is the decision that you are facing
now? And then what is the process
that you will use to come to a decision so that you can move
on. One of the things I like to
point out is that there's always going to be a little bit of
discomfort in the decision because there's the uncertainty
part and we want to reduce the risk, and uncertainty can feel
uncomfortable, but there's also the discomfort of not deciding.
This comes up especially in communication.
So you might think, oh, I I need to have a tough conversation.
It will be uncomfortable. So we avoid the tough
conversation because we don't, you know, we don't want to be in
that situation of discomfort. But then you have the discomfort
of not having that conversation. And especially if it's something
about feedback or if it's about setting a boundary or making a
request, it's kind of like you can have the discomfort of
things not changing, or you can have the discomfort that will be
required to change things in a positive way.
So which discomfort would you rather have?
The one that keeps you, you know, stuck and burned out and
keeps things the same. Or the discomfort that can
possibly lead to a better outcome and a positive change in
your schedule and in your energy.
Sometimes it really is about understanding that we're not
going to avoid the discomfort. Instead, we want to mindfully
choose from a very grounded and purposeful place.
Another thing related to this I wanted to share is that one of
the most exhausting things is avoiding making a decision.
And here's how you can tell what that looks like.
But yes, you're going to gather information.
You're definitely going to consider your options.
You want to evaluate risk, Consider the potential
downsides, and also the upsides. Sure, you might talk to other
people to get other people's perspectives, maybe opinions,
maybe advice. But the way you know that you're
actually stalling, that you're actually avoiding a decision, is
that all of that research? If it leaves you feeling more
confused instead of more clear, you're probably hiding.
You're probably avoiding that decision if you feel that the
more research you do, the more exhausted you become because
you're going down rabbit holes and you're not actually feeling
more energized about your next step.
That's also an indicator that you're probably not actually
conducting due diligence, but instead you are stalling to
avoid making a decision. And what you might not realize
is that the avoidance will drain your energy, will leave you
feeling too overwhelmed and uncertain to do anything.
You won't have the energy required to make a change.
I sometimes see this as it's like you'd rather invest in your
coping strategy than your change strategy.
And to be clear, it's not something that's happening on
the surface, It's a little bit more in the subconscious mind
you're trying to control for safety and avoid risk.
So on the surface of the mind, you know, you tell yourself, oh,
it'll be really good for me to do all this research.
And I'm going to talk to 20 different people and get their
opinions. And of course, you're going to
get lots of different opinions. And so you'll try to decide,
like, who should I listen to? What should I decide?
And so if you find yourself in that position where you're
feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling more uncertain, there's
a good sign that you've now stepped out of decision making
and you've actually just stepped into avoidance of discomfort.
And what we do when we find ourselves there is we take a
look at what is it that you're really trying to solve for?
What really have you learned, and what are the concerns that
you still have? We start to look the fear part
directly, and we start to accept that yes, we will have imperfect
information, imperfect resources.
We start asking what is it that really matters here?
What is it that you really want? And realize that the freedom
that you get by making a decision and moving forward will
feel so much better than the freedom you think you have by
keeping your options open and delaying making a decision.
It's kind of like if you're not making a decision, it's like
having all these open tabs on your browser and they seem to
not cost you anything. But what they're doing is
they're draining your energy, they're making everything run
slower, and it's keeping you stuck.
And we want to be mindful that we don't get too comfortable in
that stuck, drained place. Instead, we want to get clear
about how do you make decisions so that you can access the
freedom that comes from choosing and then moving forward when you
feel more confident in how you make decisions and you stop
second guessing yourself so much.
There's so much other energy and so much relief that comes from
that. And I really see it as a skill,
you know, like what your decision making process is like,
that is a skill. And so don't, you know, don't be
hard on yourself. Like none of this is to, you
know, kind of make you feel bad or make you realize like, Oh no,
like I've totally been avoiding a decision and actually just I
started researching and then I got tired and then I just then I
just stopped. It's a really human thing that
we do because it's a lot about how you deal with perceived
risk, and a lot of that happens a bit beneath the surface.
So realize that you know, if this is something that is
happening in your life, just accept it and acknowledge it.
What are the decisions that you're avoiding?
What are the things that you're delaying?
Because on the surface, you're saying to yourself this is a
really good idea. I'm going to, you know, do all
of this due diligence and be really honest if that's
something that is accurate. Like are you getting more clear
with all the more information you're getting?
Or are you simply overloading yourself and starting to scare
yourself with all or nothing thinking and worst case
scenario, thinking. We want to get you more clear so
that you can move forward and let it not feel like such a
heavy, heavy thing, but instead feel more confident in the
decisions that you're making. So that is what I wanted to
share with you. It's going to save you so much
energy and time. And if this is something that
you want help with, if you want to learn how to become more
confident in making decisions and become more aware of when
you drift into the rabbit hole of confusion, then come and work
with me. I take a limited number of
one-on-one clients each year, but I have space right now.
And if you want to do this work together, there's so much that
we can do to help you feel more confident.
And then, you know, sleep better at night because you know where
you can bring all those questions and have that thought
partnership about what's happening in your work and
career. So for that, go into the show
notes, book a consultation so that we can talk about your
situation, your goals, and how I can help you.
Or go to my website kimnickel.com and you'll see the
link to Book a consult there. Have a great week and I will
talk to you next time. When you're more effective at
work, you're happier in your life.
And when you're happier in your life, you're more effective at
work. I can help.
Go to my website, Kim Nickel Com and sign up for a coaching
consult. It can get better.