Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well.
Today on this episode, I'll be talking more about your work
environment and how that affects you as a manager and as a human.
And one of the reasons I was thinking about this one is that
I have downstairs neighbors who are professional musicians and
there is a person who plays as the flute and a person who plays
I think the viola or the violin and so I often hear them
practicing. It comes up through the floor
very quietly and it's so nice. I feel really fortunate, that I
have neighbors like that because they're presents them just doing
what they do influences my environment and because I work
from home, it's not just my living environment, but it's
also my work environment. Mint and it reminds me of how
much our environment can affect us and if you are working in an
environment, that is not very conducive to you feeling at is
whether it because of the amount of sound that happens in your
environment or the kind of lighting some of the folks that
I know that it both as my friends.
But also as my clients are very sensitive.
Of to light. So if it's a very bright harsh,
kind of cold light that is very draining for them.
If it's a softer warm light that's a lot easier for them to
be in. Just from a sensory perspective
there are so many very subtle things that are happening in our
environment, that will affect the way that we show up to our
work environment and to the people that we work with and to
the way that we lead and I Have been talking on this podcast, a
couple of times recently about self-advocacy and self-reliance
and how self-reliance is great. And it can also get in the way,
if it prevents you from speaking up and asking for a resource or
an accommodation or just something that might be
available to you, but you never reach out for it because you're
so locked into this belief of Stream self-reliance, that has
served you in the past and one of my listeners, I want to give
a shout-out. She follows me on LinkedIn and
she put a comment on one of my posts on LinkedIn.
And she said, your podcasts have been super helpful.
I waited over a year to ask for a chair.
I'm over 6 feet tall and I really needed a chair that
didn't cut off my circulation. I thought I was being
burdensome. That I realized not asking
affected my productivity after I asked, it didn't seem like a big
deal to them at all. They found me a temporary fix
and ordered a chair. I love this because this is what
I'm talking about. There are so many small things
when I'm putting small in air quotes because on the one hand,
it might seem like a small thing.
It's a chair. And you might think oh, I can
just endure. It's not a big deal.
I don't want. It to be burdensome or I don't
want to but I don't want to bother people, but this is your
physical body. This is the body that you that
you live in and the body that literally supports you as you
are doing work. And so when we neglect to
consider, what is the effect on your physical body in the way
that you're able to do your work?
When we Overlook that, we really do a disservice to you and also
It ripples out to everyone you work with because if your
physical body is cared for and supported, in this case, quite
literally with appropriate, chair and furniture.
That it makes everything easier and on the inside especially if
you're a person who grew up and kind of absorbed this message of
it's not okay to ask for things. Sometimes there's just nothing
available for you. You you just have to make do
with what you have. Again that can be a very
valuable survival strategy and A coping mechanism.
But it's important to learn how to look beyond that especially
as you grow in your career because you will be making
different kinds of decisions and it is helpful to learn other
ways to approach challenges, not just to endure and The
discomfort or the problem. That is not sustainable.
So today we're talking about environment and that is just one
example. And when we think about
environment, the other reason this comes up is especially
around communication and the things that hold us back from
communicating either giving feedback or managing up or being
direct with someone, there's often a fear of how the other
person will respond. And so, we think about how can I
control what their reaction is going to be because that could
either be highly uncomfortable or there could be a fear that
there could be adverse consequences either the fear of
I don't want them to think that I am a difficult or demanding
person or I don't want them to become angry or displeased with
me and this can come up whether the person You are avoiding.
The conversation with is someone who reports up to you.
So someone on your team or someone above you, we sometimes
hold back from speaking up because there is a real power
differential and it might be that what you have learned is
that whenever you are in, let's call it a precarious position,
whether it is or it simply feels precarious because someone has
Has power over you in some kind of formal way than often.
It's it feels super risky to actually speak up and risk.
Someone's displeasure or disappointment, or anger or
worried about what they'll think about you.
I had so many conversations with my coaching clients around
helping them think beyond what will this do for my reputation?
I don't want to have a reputation.
Being a troublemaker or someone who rocks the boat.
It's so important that I be seen as a team player as someone who
goes along. But there comes a time when that
is such a disservice to you. When it really will hold you
back and not just in the sense of your career growth but in the
sense of your Humanity, in this sense of really, what is good
for your well-being, Being and not just in this moment, but
long term. So in terms of learning about
communication and thinking about what is within my control, so
often we're doing the calculation in our minds about.
If I say this, they'll probably say that and then I'll say this
and that's why we can have conversations in our mind over
and over and over again. And it actually Keeps Us in
avoidance, we don't have that conversation because Trying to
control for how we think they're going to respond.
Now, this is why being aware of both what is in your control and
what is not in your control becomes helpful because it gets
you unhooked from that. Internal rumination.
And there are a couple things I want to offer to think about in
that sense. One is take into account the
environment that you're working in.
It's possible that the environment you're working in
and I mean that in terms of physical environment, but also
the culture, the culture of your particular organization, the
culture of your particular like business unit or team, depending
on the size of your organization, each Collective of
colleagues can really create their own microculture, all of
that can either be very supportive of You or it can feel
like something you have to prepare yourself to endure and
move through in spite of. So for example, I was chatting
with a client. What was this?
Maybe a couple of weeks ago, and she was really struggling with a
situation at work and as we were coaching and exploring it, one
of the things she realized is she said, oh, I'm working in an
actually a very hostile. Work environment.
She just identified and she said, oh no wonder I'm feeling
this way. Look at the environment that I'm
working in and everyone is you know, behaving in the certain
way. And when I look at it I think oh
I think I see this in a whole new light and it really can
explain the experience I'm having that's turning into
self-doubt and self-questioning and is draining my energy.
So do look at the environment because that Will have an effect
on how you feel able to make decisions around communicating
with people. The other piece is the
individual piece. This is the piece about managing
yourself, being able to identify and understand what are your
patterns understanding, how they serve you and how they get in
the way. And the great thing about this
is when we look at you, as the individual, that will always
point Towards, where is your agency?
And where is your autonomy? And both of these words are
about power. So agency is about your capacity
to take action and I think of this as being very situational
because there may be times where your energy is really low, you
might be really drained and your sense of agency.
The capacity that you have to take action is reduced But on
another day, you're super well rested.
You're feeling really appreciated and respected and
recognized. You will have access to more
capacity to take action. It will be easier to tap into
your sense of agency and your sense of agency.
Might also fluctuate depending on the other people involved.
So, with some folks that you work with, you might I Feel Like
Your Capacity to take action is much reduced because you might
feel intimidated by them, they might kind of activate all of
your insecurities and defense mechanisms and you just feel
this reduced capacity. Also, if you're into Spoon
Theory, you know, some days, you've got four spoons, some
days you've got to or maybe one. And so, if you are having a one
spoon kind of day, Then your capacity to take action is going
to be a little bit less than if you have like a for spoon day,
so that's agency. I think of it as situational
capacity to take action autonomy.
I think of as the bigger picture because autonomy is the question
of your feeling of power over yourself, in a sense, of self
government, in a sense of, do you have the freedom to make
decisions? Ins about yourself, one of the
things that I have had the pleasure to experience, as I
have transitioned into my own private practice, I have
tremendous autonomy over my schedule.
When I was working in an environment, I felt I had much
less autonomy, much less power to govern my schedule because
people could request meetings and I was often in me Things
with people that maybe I, you know, I think of as people of
not of my choosing whereas now in the way that I work, I have
complete autonomy, every person on my calendar is someone of my
choosing whether it's a client or a consult or I'm teaching or
doing a webinar or, you know, like in some kind of online
learning environment. I have so much autonomy over
what I'm doing. And when that feeling Of the
freedom to decide over one's self.
And so that I sometimes find with my clients, they can lose
that big picture when there's something they're trying to
solve for in the moment. So for example, perhaps the work
environment has changed over the years, and when you started in
this particular organization, things felt really good and you
were growing, and you really liked who you worked with.
And you felt very Satisfied. By the way, you were treated and
compensated, and maybe now it's a couple of years and now you're
feeling like you're started to outgrow it and because you're
feeling like, it's not really a good fit anymore.
It's happened. Gradually, you've been growing
gradually, and your desires and interests and goals.
Also, look different. Now than maybe, they did five
years ago, so you're starting to grow Beyond where you currently
are. It doesn't really feel like Calf
it and because it doesn't feel like a fit, you might feel like
you have to work harder in order to make things work.
Have you ever done that? Have you ever stayed in a
relationship? That wasn't really good for you
anymore, but you thought I have to make this work, I can't leave
until I make this work and so you double down and reinvested
and you stayed longer and put more energy.
G into something that wasn't a fit anymore.
Imagine if you had a pair of shoes and you wore them and they
seem to fit pretty well. But after a while they started
to pinch and you thought, oh I can't take these shoes off.
I need to try harder even though you are outgrowing them, and all
it did. When you stayed was it made you
feel more pain and discomfort and maybe even made you feel
like a failure? Is there something wrong with
me? That I can't make this work?
Not a fit is not a problem. It's simply not a fit and
sometimes that discomfort is a sign to start asking yourself,
is it time to look for something else?
Not because you are failing but because you are outgrowing, the
place that you've been. I think this one can be so hard
especially if you feel a real sense of care and commitment to
the people you work with or to the bigger mission.
And of the organization, emotional attachments are real
and it can be hard to think about moving into something new
and letting go of what is familiar to you.
So when we get a little stuck looking at all, this isn't
working. Is it with me?
I need to try harder. I want to point you back to your
autonomy, the bigger picture. Why are you choosing this?
Why are you still choosing this? This is this still what you want
for myself many years ago, I had this moment where I realized,
gosh, I feel like I've outgrown this role.
I feel like I've outgrown this job and I still keep coming.
I'm the one who wakes up every morning and brings myself into
this job and into this role that I don't think fits anymore.
Why am I doing that? And I realized, for me, there
was a sense of momentum. There was a sense of Of success,
like I felt successful because I was pretty good at it, even
though it had stopped feeling meaningful to me.
And I felt like I was stagnating a bet.
I wasn't really growing in a way that mattered to me.
And so I had to do a real Soul search in a lot of reflection
about. Who am I now what do I want now
and tapping into my autonomy by seeing this bigger picture,
which was You know what? It's time to go.
It's time for someone else to have this job and it's time for
me to move to my next chapter and even though it might feel
kind of scary. I'm worth it.
I'm worth taking that chance. I'm worth seeing what else is
possible for me out there and so sometimes we forget the autonomy
peace and we get really entangled and hooked in the
grind of the day to day. Of the moment and there's this
thing, I see that happens when our environment is reflecting a
message of you know you're not succeeding, you're not hitting
all these markers, it can really start to undermine your sense of
confidence and it can start to Cloud your vision and you stop
seeing what you're really great at and you stop seeing what's
possible beyond this particular moment.
We start trying to troll other people or other situations
rather than kind of unhooking that and bringing that sense of
what is within my scope of control.
That's within me because a lot of things in my environment are
not going to be in my control, I might be able to influence them
like in the example. At the beginning of this episode
around asking, for a chair that actually might be more in
control than you realize, but learning how to distinguish.
Between what's really in your control and what's not?
Where is your autonomy? Where is your agency being able
to identify and track? All of that becomes really
important? Especially, if you are wanting
to enjoy a sustainable and long-term and dynamic, you know,
adult professional life because things change, sometimes not of
our choosing but when we remember to ask, Ask where is my
agency? Where is my autonomy?
My feeling of freedom to make decisions over my own self that
sense of self governance. It has a tremendous effect on
how you experience the day-to-day.
With a lot of my clients, they report that the feeling of
pressure starts to lift. They start to see things with
clearer vision including the distinction between, what's
them, and what's their environment.
And what they want next and how the now connects to what is next
for them. Whether it's still in that
organization or not, because what's next doesn't always mean
leaving to go someplace else. Sometimes, what's next means
reorganizing the relationships so that you find more
fulfillment and satisfaction in where you are for 'Well, by
requesting a chair or by establishing boundaries around
your schedule or by having difficult conversations rather
than avoiding them. So that is what I wanted to
share with you today is to consider for yourself.
Where is your sense of agency? Where is your sense of autonomy?
What are you trying to control? And is that really a useful
direction for what you're trying to control and just have that
understanding for yourself? How all of this is affecting
you, if you want to work on this in a more structured and
in-depth way that I want to invite you to come work with me
on February 14th. I am starting a group coaching
program, so that is a fantastic way to learn in community with
others. A lot of us get very self
isolated as we go up in our leadership.
And there's something really cool about talking with other
managers. Who are not in your company, not
in your organization, maybe not even in your industry, because
they will be less attached. And also, you won't have feel
like, you have to protect your image.
You can really just be a human who is learning how to work with
humans and deal with the emotional lift as well.
All of that gets easier when you're learning outside of your
work environment. So, and I want you to invite to
that and I'll put a link into the show notes.
Or just go to my website. Kim nickel.com go to the new
managers page and you'll find a link at the top of that page.
That brings you to the registration and all of the
details. But come to that.
That's going to be an amazing way to learn if you want more
one-on-one learning and that's really good for having a longer
time to work with, since I work with my clients for 6 months,
then come work with me one-on-one and I'll put a link
to my Jewel in the show notes and you can book a time to talk
with me, that is what I have for you today.
Being a human is not always easy working with humans, not always
easy, but I've got you, you've got yourself, and you are not
alone and all this. Thanks for listening.
Have a great week and I'll talk to you again next time.
Hey, before you go, if you like this podcast, Leave a review.
Tell me why you listen and what has helped you?
Thanks so much. I'll see you next time.
Leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what
has helped you? Thanks so much.
I'll see you next time.