1
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,320
Welcome to the new Manager 
podcast. 

2
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:16,200
I'm your host, Kim Nichol. 
Hello and welcome. 

3
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,600
I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

4
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,920
Two bits of housekeeping as we 
get started today. 

5
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,800
Sign up for my Essential skills 
for new managers, a lightning 

6
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,640
lesson. 
It is a 45 minute class. 

7
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,240
It is free. 
I am teaching it this coming 

8
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,200
Friday on November 1st. 
And if you can't join live, no 

9
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,800
problem. 
If you register, you will get a 

10
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,400
link to the recording. 
So that's thing number one thing

11
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:49,280
#2 is that the new dates for the
upcoming cohort for my group 

12
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,320
course that is now been 
announced and it's open. 

13
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,400
It starts in January, but you 
can sign up now. 

14
00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:02,200
So if you have budget from 2024 
that you still need to use, you 

15
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:07,400
can sign up now and then be all 
set up to deepen your learning 

16
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,080
as soon as the new year gets 
underway. 

17
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,400
All of that info you'll find on 
my website, kimnickel.com or 

18
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,960
down in the show notes below. 
And now we can get to the heart 

19
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,280
of our episode today. 
In the last month, I have been 

20
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:28,040
doing a lot more in person team 
building facilitation sessions. 

21
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,640
So teams are meeting in person 
again, they're going on off 

22
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,640
sites, they're flying in from 
all of their different places to

23
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,400
get together. 
And one of the reasons, you 

24
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,760
know, teams bring me in is to 
help facilitate a conversation 

25
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,840
around, you know, what are the 
values and what are the 

26
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:53,360
qualities that we want to create
for ourselves as a team, right? 

27
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,120
Like what, what makes a great 
team? 

28
00:01:55,760 --> 00:02:02,680
And one of the exercises that I 
walk my groups through is this 

29
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,440
practice around appreciative 
inquiry. 

30
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,199
And as I was, you know, 
facilitating this for a couple 

31
00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:11,640
of teams, I thought, this is 
really good. 

32
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:14,560
I want to bring it here because 
there's a very important 

33
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:21,120
difference between appreciative 
inquiry and toxic positivity. 

34
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:29,240
So appreciative inquiry is when 
we look at what's working and we

35
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:34,680
even look outside our media 
environment and we say, who do I

36
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:41,480
notice that is doing this well? 
What can I learn from what I'm 

37
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:48,440
observing of someone else doing 
this thing well or accomplishing

38
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,160
the goal that I'm seeking to 
accomplish for myself or for my 

39
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,760
team? 
How can I learn from the success

40
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,960
of others as well as, you know, 
the success of yourself? 

41
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,960
But that is the question. 
We're seeking to learn about 

42
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:09,400
what's working, what are the 
clues and and the insights that 

43
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,160
we can learn by looking at the 
success of others. 

44
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:18,760
Toxic positivity, on the other 
hand, is the unwillingness to 

45
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,720
look at the hard thing. 
It's when we kind of force 

46
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:29,520
ourself to only look at positive
things, to only look through a 

47
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,840
positive lens. 
And the difficulty there when we

48
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,000
do that is we actually miss out 
on what are the lessons or what 

49
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,720
are the very important flags or 
information to be gained by 

50
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,600
looking at the things that are 
hard and that aren't working. 

51
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:50,520
So again, appreciative inquiry, 
We're choosing to learn from the

52
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,640
success of others as well as 
from the success of yourself. 

53
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,680
Toxic positivity is the 
unwillingness to look at the 

54
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:03,200
hard thing and to kind of be in 
denial and ignore the things 

55
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,560
that aren't working. 
So they're, they're quite, quite

56
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,480
different now. 
One of my favorite examples of 

57
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,760
appreciative inquiry is if you 
wanted to know how to have a 

58
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:19,920
really successful happy long 
term relationship, you would 

59
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:25,160
want to study and get curious 
about people who actually were 

60
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,120
doing that. 
Who are the people that are 

61
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,520
having successful happy long 
term relationships? 

62
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,080
What are they doing? 
What is it like in the beginning

63
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,160
versus the middle versus towards
the end? 

64
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,920
Like what is the arc? 
How do they deal with conflict 

65
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,680
and challenge? 
And you know, just how do they, 

66
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,680
how do they do that? 
How do they navigate the highs 

67
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,560
and lows of life successfully? 
You would not learn the same 

68
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,520
thing if you only studied where 
do relationships go wrong. 

69
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,480
You know, if you only studied, 
for example, divorced people or 

70
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,560
you only studied people that had
a series of short term 

71
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,240
relationships, you might learn a
lot about what brings a 

72
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:10,040
relationship to an end because 
you're studying people that are 

73
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,800
creating that, that are doing 
that. 

74
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,680
But you would not get the 
information that would be 

75
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:19,240
available by studying the people
in happy long term 

76
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,040
relationships. 
And the same can apply to work. 

77
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:28,360
So if you think about what your 
goals are for your team, for the

78
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,800
the organization, if you're 
thinking about how do we work 

79
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:36,360
together in a way that will be 
successful so that we're 

80
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,440
thriving as individuals, 
thriving as a team, We're 

81
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,080
meeting our goals as an 
organization. 

82
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:49,080
And even when we're facing 
challenges and uncertainties and

83
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,480
unexpected change, how can we 
navigate through all of that? 

84
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:58,320
It becomes helpful to then look 
to well, where are teams that 

85
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,680
are doing that well? 
How can I learn from that? 

86
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:06,840
And sometimes those teams might 
be, you know, other other 

87
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,120
organizational teams. 
It might be an experience that 

88
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,840
you had in the past working on a
really high performing, high 

89
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,640
functional team. 
It might be a team that's 

90
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:21,240
represented in a story, right? 
So whether it's a fictional 

91
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,360
story and you think, wow, I'm 
watching this movie in the way 

92
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,720
that they are depicting, you 
know, the way that this team is 

93
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,800
working together, they're really
demonstrating the kinds of 

94
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:36,000
qualities I wish that our team 
could cultivate or that our team

95
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,080
could have. 
Or if you're thinking about 

96
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:42,800
sports or even the arts, 
thinking about musicians, you 

97
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,400
know, like a band or an 
orchestra. 

98
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,520
Or if you're thinking about 
sports teams and saying, wow, 

99
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,080
the way that they are playing 
together, even though we've got 

100
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,000
all these different instruments 
or all these different kinds of 

101
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,400
players, and yet they're able to
bring the best of their skills 

102
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,080
and a lot of communication and 
empathy and a lot of 

103
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:07,240
adaptability and trust. 
And wow, I see how they are more

104
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,120
than the sum of their parts. 
I'm learning by observing some 

105
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,080
of the the things that I can see
that they are doing. 

106
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:20,640
We can look to, you know, our 
own experiences or external ones

107
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:26,760
to start to find ideas that can 
help you in the day today. 

108
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,000
And sometimes it really is that 
role and responsibility as the 

109
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:36,520
manager, as the person in that 
leadership seat to have a vision

110
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:43,120
of what's possible for your team
and to then begin to communicate

111
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:47,200
and make decisions that can help
shape the. 

112
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,520
I want to say it's like you're 
shaping the culture, like you're

113
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,320
shaping the way people are 
working, you're shaping the way 

114
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,680
people are feeling. 
And all of this to say, like, 

115
00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:01,520
it's not necessarily easy, but 
it won't happen at all unless we

116
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,320
decide to get curious and 
intentional about it. 

117
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,560
And it's really neat when we 
start to realize, oh, there 

118
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,800
might actually be a lot of 
examples that you can pull from 

119
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,800
to give you ideas of what's 
needed. 

120
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:19,520
Now in this moment, as we're 
moving into the end of the year,

121
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,840
how can I be thinking about what
will be supportive for my team? 

122
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,440
And so this practice of 
appreciative inquiry, it's, it's

123
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,400
one that I had been doing with 
the teams that I've been working

124
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:35,240
with the last month or so. 
And one specific practice that 

125
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:40,080
we did that I wanted to tell you
about is I start by asking, you 

126
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,000
know, think about the, the year 
behind you. 

127
00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:47,280
So all of the things that you've
accomplished this year, all of 

128
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,680
the achievements you've reached,
all of the challenges that 

129
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:55,200
you've had to face, all of the 
hard things, as well as all of 

130
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,760
the really positive things. 
And when you think about 

131
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:02,480
yourself in the last year, 
what's something that you feel 

132
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,480
proud of? 
And it might be an 

133
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,760
accomplishment. 
It might be how you handled a 

134
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,800
really big problem or an 
unexpected change. 

135
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,760
It might be feeling proud that 
even when things were really 

136
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,880
hard, you feel proud about the 
way that you showed up with a 

137
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,640
lot of respect and integrity and
empathy. 

138
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:29,880
But think about something that 
you feel proud of, something 

139
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:34,920
that you yourself feel proud of 
in the last 12 months or so. 

140
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:41,320
And then when you have that, 
then tell someone. 

141
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,520
And if you're thinking about, 
oh, how do I do that in the 

142
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,040
workplace? 
That might be kind of weird the 

143
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,800
way you can weave this in since 
I'm not there to facilitate the 

144
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,840
actual activity for you and your
team right now. 

145
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:57,760
You can either, you know, bring 
this as a prompt at a meeting 

146
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,120
like a, you know, when you bring
your team all together or even 

147
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,520
in your one on ones, you can say
when you come to the, you know, 

148
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,200
you're one-on-one. 
I'd like you to think about 

149
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,960
something you feel proud of over
the last year and let's talk 

150
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,080
about it. 
What can we learn from that? 

151
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:18,880
And what's great is that when we
intentionally do this practice, 

152
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:25,160
we're directing our attention 
towards this moment where 

153
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,160
there's something valuable to be
learned. 

154
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,200
What is the thing that you feel 
proud of, whether it was, you 

155
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,720
know, addressing something 
difficult, responding to a 

156
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,760
failure or a challenge, or 
whether it was an accomplishment

157
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,360
of some kind? 
What is it that we can learn 

158
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,360
from that? 
And sometimes the thing we learn

159
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:47,360
is, wow, I didn't realize I was,
I'm really good at this. 

160
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:52,600
You know that it might reveal a 
particular strength that you 

161
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,520
weren't aware of or that you 
simply overlook. 

162
00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,960
It can also reveal insights and 
lessons that otherwise we might 

163
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,000
not have noticed. 
Because one of the things about 

164
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:10,480
having a human brain is you are 
going to tend to drift towards 

165
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,160
the negative. 
Oh, it could have been better. 

166
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,520
Oh, I need to deal with this 
other challenge that's coming 

167
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,760
up. 
You know, we tend to move so 

168
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:25,000
quickly away from those bright 
spots and we tend to over focus 

169
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,000
on the challenges, the negative 
experiences. 

170
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,800
They're a little bit more 
stickier in our memory and in 

171
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,760
our, you know, emotional 
landscape. 

172
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,320
And so by doing this practice, 
what's something you feel proud 

173
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:42,000
of over the last year, it helps 
to bring your perspective a 

174
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:46,160
little into balance so that 
you're not overlooking some 

175
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,280
really valuable insights and 
learnings. 

176
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:53,120
So it's not about, you know, 
patting yourself on the back and

177
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,960
saying, like, I am just the best
person, although of course do 

178
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,520
that from time to time. 
You know, it's, it's, it's good 

179
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:05,360
for the spirit, but on a very 
practical level, if you're not 

180
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:11,480
noticing and if you're not 
communicating the work that you 

181
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,680
feel proud of or the 
accomplishments or the qualities

182
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:20,320
and skills that are valuable, if
you're not noticing them and 

183
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,880
communicating them, it's 
possible that they might go 

184
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,200
unseen. 
They might go unnoticed, 

185
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,040
especially if you are working 
remotely or hybrid. 

186
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,480
It's possible that not other 
people have noticed and it's 

187
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,880
good for them to notice, 
especially on a team. 

188
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:43,640
It's helpful when we have an 
understanding of what are the 

189
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,840
strengths and skills that this 
team holds. 

190
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,200
And, you know, sometimes we 
forget because we're in the 

191
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,440
grind or we're focused on the 
work that hasn't been done yet, 

192
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,400
or we're feeling frustrated by, 
you know, the resources that we 

193
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,720
don't have or how we wish things
would be different. 

194
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:04,320
So taking that time to pause, 
putting on that lens of 

195
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,680
appreciative inquiry, asking 
what's something I feel proud 

196
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,160
of. 
Oh, yeah, it's this. 

197
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:16,320
And then finding or creating an 
opportunity to include that as a

198
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,440
discussion topic, whether it's 
in your one on ones. 

199
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,440
And you can even bring this to 
your manager, you know, in your 

200
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,480
one on ones. 
You might say, you know, I was 

201
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,760
thinking about the year and 
there's this one thing I feel 

202
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,560
really proud of that I wanted 
to, you know, share with you. 

203
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:35,600
You can weave that into your 
conversation with your manager 

204
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,720
as well, especially as we move 
towards the end of the year, 

205
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,880
especially as we're thinking 
about 2025 planning, right? 

206
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,960
You might even also connect it 
to your desire direction for 

207
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,040
professional development. 
And I felt really proud of the 

208
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,320
way I was able to do that. 
And I'm thinking in the next 

209
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:58,280
year, I want to hone that skill 
even more, or I want to bring 

210
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,960
that skill and take on this kind
of work. 

211
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,000
You can start to connect those 
dots. 

212
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,960
And that can then be really 
satisfying for your own career 

213
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,760
growth and career progression. 
But also thinking just, you 

214
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,200
know, how do we work effectively
as a team? 

215
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:20,080
Well, it helps when we're aware 
of all of the different skills, 

216
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:25,080
gifts, talents, strengths and 
experience that's on the team. 

217
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,240
And those things might change 
over time. 

218
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:31,960
So if we don't slow down to ask,
then we might not actually find 

219
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,400
out. 
So consider trying that in the 

220
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,040
coming weeks. 
See if you can do this 

221
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:42,200
appreciative inquiry practice. 
Find a way to weave it in 

222
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,680
either, you know, kind of subtly
or if it's your meeting, you 

223
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,160
might tell people in advance, 
hey, we're going to do this 

224
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:53,120
reflection and share out as we 
move towards the end of the 

225
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,680
year. 
Try that and see how it goes. 

226
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,240
And of course, hey, if you've 
got some team off sites coming 

227
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:04,520
up and you are looking for an 
outside facilitator to help you 

228
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,920
and your people have that kind 
of conversation, then you should

229
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,000
definitely get in touch. 
It's a lot of fun and I love to 

230
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,800
do it. 
All right, thank you so much for

231
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,320
listening. 
Have a great week and I will 

232
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:24,280
talk to you next time. 
When you're more effective at 

233
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,840
work, you're happier in your 
life, and when you're happier in

234
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,040
your life, you're more effective
at work. 

235
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,200
I can help. 
Go to my website, kimnickel.com 

236
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,560
and sign up for a coaching 
consult. 

237
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,320
It can get better.