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Welcome to the new Manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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I am a little bit under the 
weather today. 

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I'm a little bit congested, a 
little bit low energy. 

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So our episode is going to be 
short and sweet. 

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But I did want to pop in and 
share a couple of things with 

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you. 
One is I have been seeing this 

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comic. 
It's from The New Yorker, and 

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I've been seeing it on the 
social media, and it was so spot

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on. 
And what it is, is it's this 

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illustration of a guy behind a 
desk and he is facing a woman in

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a chair. 
They're in a meeting in an 

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office setting. 
And the caption says, at this 

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point in your career, your only 
possible promotion is to 

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management where you will stop 
doing the work you love and use 

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a skill set you don't have and 
we don't teach. 

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And it really, it really hits 
right. 

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Like, it's so interesting seeing
all of the comments on this 

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comic is it's recognized as so 
familiar and it, you know, it 

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really speaks to the frustration
that so many folks have in the 

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course of their career. 
You know, you reach this one 

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stage and now the next level is 
to be promoted. 

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And it's a different skill set 
and your work is not going to 

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teach it to you. 
What I like to remember is that 

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just because it's the default 
meaning, it's very, very common,

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which which is why it's funny, 
which is why people recognize it

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as, oh, yeah, I I recognize 
that. 

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I know that just because it's 
the default, it does not make it

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a requirement. 
Another way to think about this 

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is this is not the end. 
It really is the beginning. 

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Once you realize, Oh yeah, this 
is what will happen if I just go

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by the momentum of what's around
me, then you can begin to take a

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new approach and to make some 
different choices. 

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You can choose, You know what, 
just because that's what's being

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offered, that's not the way I 
want to do my career. 

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That's not the way I want to do 
my work. 

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I don't want to rely on my 
organization to help me get 

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better at the skills that I'm 
going to use every day that will

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help me to be both better in my 
work, but will also help me 

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sleep better at night and enjoy 
the rest of my life because it 

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will make my work go more 
easily. 

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So in light of all of that, I 
wanted to share with you 7 like 

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a list of seven things that I 
think are really important and 

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fundamental for when you are a 
manager, when you're growing as 

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a leader, and when you're asking
yourself, you know, what are the

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skills that I need and what is 
it that I want to get better at 

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so that I can feel more 
effective, feel more confident, 

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feel more capable in the 
workplace. 

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And here are the seven things. 
Number one, you want to ask 

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yourself what makes a good 
manager? 

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So many times we neglect to ask 
and reflect on this really 

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fundamental question, and 
instead we go into the place of 

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uncertainty and the place of 
anxiety. 

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That sounds like I don't know if
I'm doing a good job. 

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I feel like I'm failing. 
My team isn't happy with me. 

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I'm feeling blocked or 
frustrated by my manager. 

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I feel like I don't have the 
resources or the time that I 

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need in order to do a good job. 
But what gets missed when we're 

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focused on that side of it is 
we're not even asking the 

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question, what makes a good 
manager? 

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What are you going for? 
What's your specific vision of 

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what it means to be a good 
manager? 

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Because there are lots of 
different ways to define that. 

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And if you haven't defined that 
for yourself, then you're going 

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to be kind of chasing this 
impossible goal because you've 

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never clarified in your own mind
what that goal is. 

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So that's number one. 
What makes a good manager #2 

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what makes communication 
effective? 

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This one is really important 
that you ask this for yourself. 

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What makes communication 
effective because we live within

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a context, professional context 
and organizational context, 

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cultural context. 
And so the way that you 

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specifically are effective in 
communicating is going to be 

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influenced by all of these other
factors. 

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This is why you want to develop 
your own North star in terms of 

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how are you effective in 
communicating and not simply 

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trying to mimic someone else's 
style or approach. 

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This is where we get curious 
about, you know, what is the 

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thought behind the thought when 
you're communicating? 

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How are you making decisions 
about what you want to say, how 

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you want to say it, when and to 
whom? 

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And it's the kind of thing where
you've you've been successfully 

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doing this in some degree 
throughout the course of your 

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life. 
And I know this because you've 

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lived to be an adult, and if in 
order to succeed in surviving, 

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we have to learn how to 
communicate. 

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But there's this additional 
dimension of understanding when 

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you're wanting to be effective 
in the workplace and you're 

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communicating in order to get 
things done or in order to focus

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people in the direction you want
them to go. 

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How are you going to do that? 
We want to be intentional and 

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design full and mindful and 
understanding what is it that 

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makes communication effective 
and then what makes you 

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specifically as a human and 
effective communicator #3 better

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meanings and one on ones. 
This is an area that is so often

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just run by default. 
And by that I mean people tend 

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to either do meetings in one on 
ones the way they have had their

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managers done. 
They essentially just replicate 

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what they've experienced in the 
workplace or they mirror what 

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they're seeing in the workplace.
They look around, they say well,

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this is how this person does it.
I guess that's how I will do it 

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too. 
And so you know that that's OK. 

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That's a good starting point. 
But if you want them to be 

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better, we need to be 
intentional and we need to 

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design them. 
We need to think through how are

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we going to do this and why, and
what are the other circumstances

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you want to be paying attention 
to in order to make a really 

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great use of your time and your 
team's time #4 effective 

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feedback. 
There are three pieces to this 

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you want to think about. 
How are you effective in giving 

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feedback? 
How are you effective in 

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receiving feedback, even if it's
unsolicited and even or 

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especially if you're not sure 
you agree with it? 

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And then how are you going to 
request feedback? 

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You want to be thinking about 
this over the course of the 

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year, and especially when we're 
coming into performance review 

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season. 
You want to be thinking about 

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this way before you find 
yourself in a formal performance

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review conversation #5 speaking 
up advocacy boundaries. 

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This is often a skill that 
people neglect until they are 

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exhausted at a breaking point, 
or just very frustrated with 

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everything. 
And if, especially if you're a 

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very hard worker and you're the 
kind of person who's like, I 

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don't need help, I'll just do it
myself, then you especially 

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probably have undeveloped this 
muscle. 

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And you want to be aware of that
because as you continue in your 

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career, it really will hamper 
you and get in your way. 

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There comes a time when the the 
way that you are successful is 

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not by doing the most it's 
actually about being effective 

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and speaking up, advocating for 
needs, your own and your team, 

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as well as knowing how to 
establish effective boundaries. 

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Otherwise, the work you do will 
not be sustainable. 

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You'll start to build a 
resentment and that has an 

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adverse effect not just for you 
personally and in your life, but

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also in your organization and 
with your team. 

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Number six, we need to 
understand specifically 

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performance review 
conversations. 

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How do you effectively 
facilitate change and have tough

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conversations? 
This area is one that becomes 

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increasingly important when you 
are in a leadership and manager 

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role. 
It's one that you can sometimes 

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avoid when you are an individual
contributor, you know, and if 

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you're the kind of person who 
has been successful in getting 

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things done by keeping a low 
profile and just adapting to 

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others and accommodating others 
and not speaking up, not 

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facilitating change, not having 
a tough conversation. 

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There's a, there's a place where
that strategy stops working. 

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And so you want to be prepared 
to develop the skills of having 

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those tough conversations of 
thinking about how am I going to

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effectively facilitate change 
through my team and how am I 

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going to do the performance 
reviews. 

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Like, that becomes a very 
important skill to have a 

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strategy and a plan around and 
#7 managing up, that is a skill 

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that is often overlooked and 
kind of avoided because there 

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are all of these other skills 
that tend to get the attention 

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1st. 
And so it's important to 

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recognize, oh, managing up is a 
legitimate skill. 

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It is valuable. 
And the sooner that you develop 

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your thinking around it and 
include that as part of your 

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work plan, the better off you'll
be. 

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And I know that these topics 
we've covered a kind of a lot. 

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Each one of these I've talked at
length about on the show. 

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But the reason I'm bringing them
up now is because this is the 

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set of communication skills that
I'm going to be doing a deeper 

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dive and teaching on this fall. 
I'm teaching a course on 

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communication strategies for 
managers, and this is exactly 

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the outline that I'm going to 
use in that course. 

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If this is something that you 
want to get better at, then 

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you've got to sign up. 
I'll be there teaching live. 

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You will also get access to the 
recordings, so if you're not 

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able to join a class live, 
you'll be able to watch it. 

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And we'll also be on a platform 
where you can chat and 

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communicate with me 
asynchronously, which is also 

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great because, you know, I'm in 
California. 

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You might be someplace else. 
Time zones are real. 

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And I wanted to do this in a way
that would, you know, kind of 

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facilitate you being able to 
join with the least amount of 

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friction. 
So these seven things, they're 

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things that you're already, you 
know, working with, whether 

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you've thought of it 
intentionally or not. 

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My invitation to you is let's 
work on this in a little bit 

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more of a focused and structured
way so that we can really equip 

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you for the months to come, for 
the end of the year, and then 

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really set you up for the 
beginning of next year. 

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Just kind of crazy. 
It's already coming so fast, but

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here we are. 
So that's what I wanted to kind 

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of raise into your awareness 
right now. 

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You know, as humans in the 
workplace, we do a lot of things

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by default because that's how it
was role modelled to us or 

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that's how it's worked in the 
past. 

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But when it's time to update 
your skills and to take a more 

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intentional and kind of design 
oriented approach, then it's 

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time to step out of the 
workplace and step into a place 

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where you're going to be able to
learn. 

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And that's what I'm offering you
and would love to have you come 

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and join me. 
It's helpful to realize too that

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the solutions that worked for 
you in the past, they might not 

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be as effective in this new 
situation. 

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A new situation sometimes needs 
new solutions. 

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And just because, you know, it 
worked really well for the 

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earlier part of your career, 
maybe it's time to update that. 

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One of the ones that I see a lot
is I have folks who have had to 

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work really hard to prove 
themselves. 

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And then they forget to update 
that part of their mind or they 

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realize, oh, actually, no, I 
have proven that I don't have to

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keep saying yes to everything or
I don't have to try to prove 

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that I deserve to be here. 
There's more of that confidence 

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that comes in when they realize,
Oh no, I actually am very 

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capable. 
And even though I'm facing 

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something new, I don't need to 
say yes to everything in order 

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to prove how committed or loyal 
I am. 

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It's a really interesting 
mindset shift. 

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So that's what I wanted to point
out to you. 

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I'm going to put a link in the 
show notes so you can find the 

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course page to register. 
We start on September 17th, 

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which I am looking forward to. 
And I know that you are going to

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get a ton out of it. 
And I'm I'm excited that we're 

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going to be doing this together.
So go into the show notes, sign 

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up so we can get you set up. 
And I hope you have a great week

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and I hope that I feel better 
too. 

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All right, thanks for listening.
I'll talk to you next time. 

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When you're more effective at 
work, you're happier in your 

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life. 
And when you're happier in your 

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life, you're more effective at 
work. 

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I can help. 
Go to my website kimnickel.com 

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00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,920
and sign up for a coaching 
consult. 

228
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:41,720
It can get better.