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Welcome to the New Manager 
Podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nichol. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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So last week was the last group 
session in the group program 

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that started in September. 
This was only I think the second

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time I've run this program this 
year. 

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I did the first one in February,
the second one in September. 

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The next one is going to be in 
February again. 

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And I just have to say how 
incredible this is. 

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Like, it's amazing to be able to
learn in a group setting with 

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supportive peers who do not know
you, who do not work with you, 

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who do not know the exact 
situation that you're dealing 

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with. 
And I what I found in observing 

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this as as I've been running 
this, is there two real benefits

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to it. 
The 1st is that you feel so much

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more safe when you're with 
people that do not know you and 

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that don't don't actually know 
the work situation that you're 

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in because you don't have to 
protect your image or your 

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relationship. 
There's a lot more sense of 

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safety, to be really honest 
about the things that are 

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challenging and the struggles 
you're facing and how you really

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feel about the people that you 
work with. 

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There is this sense of, you 
know, just safety because you 

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don't know each other. 
So nothing will get back to the 

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people that you work with. 
Like, it's a very confidential 

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space and you have room to just 
be really real with what you're 

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dealing with, which is really 
nice. 

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And then the other thing that 
happens when you have this 

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supportive peer group is that 
you get to learn through the 

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questions and the celebrations 
that other people bring into the

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call. 
Because so many of the issues 

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and challenges, the core of them
can be quite similar, right? 

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If you're having an 
uncomfortable conversation, or 

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you're not sure how to manage 
your manager, or you're having a

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challenge with somebody else who
doesn't report to you but they 

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affect your team and you're not 
really sure how to deal with a 

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thing. 
There's so much that you learn 

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by listening to someone else. 
Get coached on their situation, 

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on their mindset, on the parts 
that they're feeling stuck in. 

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It's so interesting when you can
hear someone else describing 

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their situation and receiving 
coaching on it because you're 

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not attached, because you're not
immersed in it. 

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So you can actually gain so much
insight because you will 

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recognize that elements that are
relevant to you, but they won't 

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feel like you'll like. 
You'll have less resistance to 

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them because you'll receive the 
coaching and the insight by 

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listening to the story that 
someone else is facing. 

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It's kind of like if you've ever
had this experience where it can

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be so easy to feel like you've 
got answers to other people's 

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issues, but for yourself, it 
seems really hard. 

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It kind of works like that. 
It's like your resistance goes 

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down a bit because you're 
listening to somebody else. 

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And so that means that your 
receptivity goes up. 

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When resistance goes down, 
receptivity goes up. 

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So it can be easier and faster 
for you to think, oh, that's 

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actually a great idea. 
Oh, I could try that in my work 

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situation. 
Oh, that makes me think of 

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something really similar that I 
could do myself. 

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Oh, I hadn't thought of of it in
exactly that way. 

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So I love the kind of the 
generative quality that comes 

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from having a supportive peer 
group in the learning 

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experience. 
I think that's one of the things

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that is so great. 
And actually as I'm talking 

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through this, what I'll say is 
the kind of the third benefit of

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that is it also starts to lower 
and reduce the anxiety that we 

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feel just knowing that you're 
not alone, that the challenges 

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that you face at work. 
Other people face similar ones 

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too, even when they're in 
different industries or 

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different, you know, size 
organizations. 

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There is something that happens 
when we start to normalize the 

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challenge. 
It feels less untractable. 

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It starts to feel more solvable 
because we also stopped taking 

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it personally and feeling like, 
you know, it's some kind of 

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personal failing or shortcoming,
especially when you're really 

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hard working and you're really 
smart. 

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Often the background thought is 
I should be able to work myself 

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through this. 
Like if I with with enough hard 

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work because I'm hard working, I
should be able to push my way 

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through. 
Or hey, I'm a smart person I 

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should be able to smart my way 
through this. 

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But so often it's neither the 
hard work or the intelligence 

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that is actually the the issue. 
It's usually the perspective 

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like the mindset how you're 
seeing something and very often 

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some emotion related to the 
issue, to the issue or 

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situation. 
So either feeling worried about 

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how somebody else will respond 
or feeling guilty for yourself 

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for some reason. 
And it's actually that combo 

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that is really tricky to solve 
for yourself, but so much easier

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to solve in a coaching 
experience and in a peer group 

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experience. 
So I have just been feeling so 

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much appreciation for the 
clients who have been in that 

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this last quarter and feeling 
really excited for them and for 

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what's next and what's 
interesting too. 

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Like, I've really been 
reflecting a lot this year on 

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how can I best support my 
clients and my listeners and how

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can I best provide you with 
tools and with experiences that 

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will help you to learn and apply
and grow more quickly and more 

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usefully. 
Like, I'm a really big fan of 

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let the learning be supportive 
and nurturing and generative. 

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Otherwise what can happen is we 
can sort of just binge learn by 

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overloading ourselves and then 
that can create more stress and 

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more pressure and that actually 
slows us down. 

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So everything I do, I wanna 
design in a way that makes it 

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really easy to apply in a 
sustainable way. 

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Like I want it to be really 
human in that sense, because I, 

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you know, there's information, 
information is easy. 

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Like you have an Internet filled
with information. 

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And very often it's actually 
about being a bit more curated 

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and selective and having space 
to reflect and then decide and 

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then put something into action 
in a very doable way. 

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And so it's been really 
interesting just in the last 

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year as I've started to offer 
some group learning experiences,

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getting to see that actually 
happen in real time. 

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And one of the things I've 
really been appreciating from 

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this group and that I really 
noticed is that the way that the

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pacing of the the program is in 
the way it's structured with a 

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little bit of time away and then
the times that we have together.

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And really trying to be very 
intentional about how we use our

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attention together so that we're
not getting overwhelmed and 

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we're not feeling like it's 
burdensome, but actually that it

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reduces the burden. 
So it makes things easier on a 

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daily basis and then that 
accumulates, which is very, very

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cool. 
But one of the things that I've 

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noticed and have been really 
appreciating is just how much 

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the application to insight ratio
works. 

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And what I mean by that is I 
have had so many experiences, 

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especially before the Pandemic, 
when most of the coaching I did 

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was larger groups in corporate 
environments and it was a full 

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day immersion. 
So it was like we were together 

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for eight hours, maybe 16, 
'cause sometimes I did 2 day 

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training so I would be with 
folks for many, many hours all 

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at once. 
And one of the things that I 

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wanted to do when I designed 
this group program the way I 

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designed it is I wanted to have 
a very high insight to 

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application ratio. 
Meaning when you had an insight,

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especially those small ones 
because the small ones really do

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yield significant changes, it's 
often a small shift in 

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perspective that creates a big 
positive change. 

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And so I wanted the insight to 
application ratio to be really 

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high. 
Meaning that when you had an 

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insight, you thought, oh, that's
interesting. 

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Oh, I could, I could use this. 
Oh, I hadn't thought of it in 

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that way. 
Oh, that's a new way of looking 

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at it. 
I could, I could try that. 

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I want that insight to then go 
into application quickly as 

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opposed to thinking, oh, that's 
an interesting idea. 

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Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
But then never actually applying

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it. 
Because one of the things I saw 

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in the, you know, when I was 
doing those full day trainings 

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is people could very 
successfully apply the concept 

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after we'd been together for 
eight solid hours and had really

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designed an environment where 
they could do it. 

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But then when they went back 
into the regular workspace the 

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very next day, they just go 
right back into their old 

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patterns and their old habits. 
And it was like there was the 

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gap between the insight where 
they think, you know, I know 

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this intellectually, but I just 
can't figure out how to apply it

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in my real life. 
And so you know what? 

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With this program, one of the 
reasons I feel so proud of it 

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and so proud of the people who 
have been in it this year is 

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having seen that high insight to
application ratio, so that when 

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you have an idea, it also feels 
very doable. 

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And as you do it and apply it, 
you gain confidence, you make it

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your own, you start to feel so 
much more capable and you start 

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to realize, Oh my gosh, like 
this works. 

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What else might work? 
And I've seen so many different 

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examples of folks in different 
industries and a different 

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levels of their career be able 
to do that. 

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And that's what it's all about, 
because if you only have the 

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concept or the information or 
the insight, but you're not able

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to bring it to life in a 
meaningful way, then you're, you

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know, it doesn't, it won't help 
as much, right. 

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So we want to have both. 
We want to have the insight, the

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idea, the concept, it totally 
makes sense and we want it to 

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feel doable so that there's a 
kind of low resistance and then 

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you start to actually implement 
it. 

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That's how it becomes 
sustainable, that's how you 

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start to build these new habits 
and it's really cool. 

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So that is that is top of mind 
and related to all of this too. 

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So if you are not yet on my 
mailing list for this program, 

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get on there. 
Go to my website kimnickel.com 

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and go to the manager. 
The new managers page I've just 

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updated it I am giving you. 
When you join that wait list, 

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when you sign up for that 
mailing list, you are going to 

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get access to my workshop on 
self advocacy. 

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You are going to get to watch 
the video where I'm teaching 

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this three-step road map for 
self advocacy and how I talk 

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about it in a way that so many 
of my clients have turned into 

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so many yeses. 
And I'm telling you, when you 

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start feeling more comfortable 
and more confident about asking 

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for things, you increase the 
ability of other people to say 

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yes to you. 
So often we're worried about the

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no, we completely forget about 
the yes, the thing that you want

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to ask for your manager or your 
company or your organization. 

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They might say yes, but you have
to initiate it by making the 

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ask. 
And I've seen so many times 

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people hold back and very much 
like squelch this possibility of

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yes because they're afraid of 
the no or they're just really 

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uncomfortable about making the 
ask. 

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So I am telling you, there are 
not a lot of things I kind of 

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directly tell you to do. 
But I want to tell you, go to my

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website, join the wait list for 
the upcoming group program 

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because that is how you can get 
free access to my workshop on 

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self advocacy. 
And if you are already on my 

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emailing list and you're like, 
where is it? 

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Look in your e-mail, 'cause I'm 
sending, I'm going to send out a

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link just as a reminder to 
everyone who's currently on 

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there. 
So that's going out this week. 

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I want you to know how to ask 
for what you want and how to do 

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it in a way that feels good to 
you and that makes it more 

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likely that you will get a yes 
and I have a lot of perspectives

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on this. 
If you've listened to this 

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podcast for a while, you know 
because you've heard some of it.

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But now I want you to have this 
workshop available. 

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So go to my website, 
kimnickel.com, go to the new 

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managers page, Click to join the
wait list, and you will get 

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accessed to that workshop. 
Now, I received a very great 

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e-mail, a great message from one
of my listeners, and she had a 

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question and I thought about it 
and I asked her, I said, this is

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a really interesting question 
and I have some ideas for you. 

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Is it OK if I respond by doing 
an episode on it? 

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She said yes. 
So here's the situation. 

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The situation is that she is an 
associate product manager in a 

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startup and she handles this one
like project, this one product 

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overall, sorry, this one overall
project in the company. 

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So not just a feature of a 
product, but actually this 

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overall project. 
And she wrote to me and she said

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there's a strategic planning 
meeting in our company and I'm 

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very confused why I wasn't part 
of it. 

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I kept thinking if I, you know, 
have I not given my deliverables

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enough visibility? 
Is it because my manager doesn't

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sponsor me? 
She's just confused about if she

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is the product manager, then why
was she not invited to this 

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strategic planning session? 
And she says here's what I've 

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done to work on this. 
I update my manager on my wins 

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and also my lows so that my 
manager knows I'm on top of 

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everything. 
She also said I handle the team 

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well. 
I create a great culture within 

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the project. 
And she said I contributed and 

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spearheaded initiatives for 
financial gains, like things 

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that drive savings from, you 
know, staffing, things that you 

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know have to have a positive 
financial outcome. 

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She's like, is there anything 
else I should do? 

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Anything else I missed? 
I love this question because 

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what it really highlights for me
is how often we'll have an 

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assumption about how things 
should go and when they go 

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differently. 
The one thing that she skipped, 

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it didn't and actually I'm 
assuming this because I didn't 

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see this in her message, is to 
ask. 

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So you know a couple of things. 
One is, is that kind of strategy

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00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,800
meeting something that happens 
all the time and is someone in 

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00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,680
your level typically involved? 
Like part of it is just how do 

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00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,320
things work here? 
Is that a a typical thing? 

254
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:56,200
Is it unusual that you are not 
included or you know, or or 

255
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,040
what? 
Like what's the bigger context 

256
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,280
of that? 
But ultimately, the most 

257
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,360
valuable thing you can do is 
actually have a conversation 

258
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with your manager. 
And so we can think about that 

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00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,720
in 2-2 moments. 
One is, if you know that there's

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00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,119
this meeting coming up and 
you're expecting to be invited 

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00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,119
and you're not, you can ask your
manager. 

262
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,960
Hey, I'm really curious about 
this upcoming strategic planning

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00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,200
session. 
I haven't received an invite, 

264
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,960
but I know that it's happening. 
What are your thoughts? 

265
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,360
I would love to go because I 
think I, you know, it would be 

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00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,200
important for me to be a part of
that meeting. 

267
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,040
What do you think? 
So you can ask directly. 

268
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,120
If you know this is going to 
happen but you're not invited, 

269
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,720
just ask. 
Would it be OK if I come? 

270
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,440
I think I would. 
It would be great for me to 

271
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,280
come. 
What do you think? 

272
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,560
If the event has already 
happened, like you found out 

273
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,760
about it after the fact. 
You weren't notified at all. 

274
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,080
It wasn't maybe a a planned 
thing or somebody planned it but

275
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,360
they didn't think to invite you.
Then the question is really 

276
00:17:56,360 --> 00:18:00,280
similar, but to your manager, 
ask them, hey, I heard about 

277
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,840
this strategic planning meeting 
or oh, that strategic planning 

278
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,760
meeting that you mentioned for 
the project that I work on, I 

279
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,080
wasn't surprised that I wasn't 
invited. 

280
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,040
Why would I not be included? 
Like why was that? 

281
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,480
What are your thoughts about 
that? 

282
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,800
And so The thing is, is you want
to come to this question #1 from

283
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:23,880
curiosity, and you want to 
really, genuinely be open to 

284
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,320
hearing what they have to say 
because it could be anything. 

285
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,480
It could be, you know, oh, I 
completely forgot to invite you.

286
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,200
It could be, oh, none of the 
product managers were invited. 

287
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,720
It could be, you know, oh, I I 
felt uncomfortable inviting you 

288
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,680
because this, you know, other 
person was going to be in the 

289
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,280
meeting and I thought there 
would be friction. 

290
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,560
Like, we don't know. 
But when you find yourself 

291
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:51,440
wondering, oh why did this 
happen or why did this not 

292
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:57,400
happen, my very first thought is
ask the person who might 

293
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:01,360
actually know rather than try to
guess. 

294
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:06,080
And this is also, you know, very
relevant for anything around 

295
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:11,720
promotions or raises or, you 
know, participation in things. 

296
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:17,720
Don't assume your manager knows 
that you want to be involved or 

297
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:22,280
that you, you know, believe it's
a great idea to be involved, 

298
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,640
right? 
Like it could be a situation 

299
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,560
where maybe the manager says 
wow, but I I see that you've 

300
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,520
been working on so many things. 
I didn't want to overload you. 

301
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,280
I wanted to attend and then just
give you the relevant parts. 

302
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,280
Maybe they thought they were 
being helpful. 

303
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,440
We we don't know. 
So having that relationship with

304
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,800
your manager where you feel 
comfortable asking these kinds 

305
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,440
of questions is going to help 
you. 

306
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,880
And in order to do that, first 
for yourself, you want to start 

307
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:56,000
to identify what are the 
assumptions you're holding about

308
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,880
how things will work, how will 
things go. 

309
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,800
I assume they will go in this 
way. 

310
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,160
I assume that if this is my 
role, I assume that I will be 

311
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,200
included in these kinds of 
things. 

312
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,720
I had a client a couple of years
ago and she was. 

313
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,960
In one of our sessions, she was 
actually quite furious because 

314
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:21,360
there was this big planning 
meeting and it was, you know, on

315
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,280
the other side of the country 
and she was not invited and 

316
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,520
somebody else was. 
And at first, like, she was just

317
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,840
really angry. 
She's like, this is ridiculous. 

318
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,400
I, you know, I do so much work 
on this project. 

319
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,840
I should be there, participating
in the conversation about 

320
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,960
planning and this and that. 
Like, I should definitely be 

321
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,640
there. 
And so first it was the kind of 

322
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,600
the frustration and almost like 
the feeling of being offended. 

323
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,320
Like, I'm so offended they 
didn't invite me to this 

324
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,720
meeting. 
They should know that this is 

325
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,320
highly relevant to what I do. 
Like. 

326
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,880
That was her initial response as
we coached through it. 

327
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,040
Number one, we want to process 
the emotion. 

328
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,760
Emotion is important. 
If we don't deal with it, it 

329
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,200
doesn't go away. 
It just waits and it will drain 

330
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,880
the life out of you. 
Like, that's that's just my 

331
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:10,320
short hand on how I've observed 
emotions working within us. 

332
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,640
So we want to take the time to 
acknowledge the emotion and to 

333
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:20,040
acknowledge where it's coming 
from and what it's signaling for

334
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,720
her. 
It signaled I'm being 

335
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,960
overlooked. 
I'm being disrespected. 

336
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,560
I'm, you know, somebody else is 
trying to elbow in or elbow me 

337
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,160
out. 
She was so upset. 

338
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,080
So we make room for the emotion 
first. 

339
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:36,840
Once we do that, we can then 
talk about options, which gets 

340
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,200
us back to agency. 
What's in your hands? 

341
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:44,440
What can you do? 
What are your options? 

342
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,400
And that helps us to feel a bit 
more empowered and a bit more 

343
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,880
aware of the choices that you 
have, right. 

344
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:55,800
And in my client's situation, 
she ended up deciding, she said 

345
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,280
I'm going to advocate for 
myself. 

346
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,800
I need to speak up and let them 
know I need to be there. 

347
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,120
And she said I'm going to be 
really direct. 

348
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:06,080
I'm not going to be super, you 
know, sweet about it. 

349
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,240
She's like, I'm a nice person, 
but I need to be very clear. 

350
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:14,160
So there is 0 misunderstanding 
and she ended up bringing this 

351
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,360
issue, you know, to the table, 
to her manager and to the person

352
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,440
running the meeting. 
And she was really clear. 

353
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,760
She's like, look, I know we're 
having this meeting. 

354
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,440
I should be there For these 
reasons. 

355
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,280
And if I'm not there like This 
is why that's bad. 

356
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,840
Like, I need to be part of this 
conversation. 

357
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,840
You know, what can we do for me 
to get there? 

358
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,600
This is my proposal. 
They were like, oh, you're 

359
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,600
right. 
So they ended up saying, yes, 

360
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,320
they flew her to New York. 
She was able to be a part of 

361
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,760
this meeting. 
And so it's sometimes like, you 

362
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,400
know, rather than guessing, 
rather than wondering, oh, what 

363
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,000
is it? 
You know, answer that question, 

364
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,880
what do you think it is? 
And then you can look at what 

365
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,600
are the options that you have 
before you to test that 

366
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:03,800
assumption and you know how 
would you like to proceed, What 

367
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,920
is the next step going to look 
like for you? 

368
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,640
This is so good, especially when
you have sort of have this 

369
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:16,400
feeling of, but I've done all of
this, why is that not happening?

370
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,360
That usually signals there's 
some kind of expectation, 

371
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,760
There's a belief around how 
things work and then there's 

372
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:30,120
something that was not included 
in that assumption, right, Which

373
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,560
might be about that specific 
manager, their personality, 

374
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,800
their intentions or something 
even bigger picture that is not 

375
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,960
always visible. 
The good news is you don't have 

376
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,480
to guess. 
You can ask. 

377
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,560
And depending on the situation 
and the relationship, there are 

378
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,200
lots of ways to make an ask. 
And in fact, a lot of times, 

379
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,320
especially in my one-on-one 
coaching, part of what my 

380
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:59,160
clients love is they get to say,
hey, here's the ask I want to 

381
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,280
make, but I don't know how to 
exactly how I want to do it. 

382
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,600
Because you know, either I have 
a bad relationship with this 

383
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:10,160
person, I'm going to feel super 
activated and emotionally, 

384
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:14,120
emotionally and angry with them.
And I know I want to come to 

385
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,600
this feeling really grounded and
calm and classy. 

386
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,080
So like, how do I get there? 
So a lot of times the, you know,

387
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,360
the one-on-one work is how do we
take this concept? 

388
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:28,280
And then you have the room to 
talk through and really kind of 

389
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,160
practice. 
How do you want to say the thing

390
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,160
that you're feeling frustrated 
with or feeling uncertain about 

391
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,800
how to say? 
I've had so many clients get 

392
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,440
such amazing outcomes from that 
because then they feel less 

393
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,080
worried, They feel a lot more 
prepared, and then they're like,

394
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,520
oh, I know exactly how I want to
ask this. 

395
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,840
So when you're wondering why is 
this not happening, I did all 

396
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,240
these things. 
The obvious next step is, well, 

397
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,720
what if you ask your manager? 
Ask them. 

398
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,760
No, I saw that there was a 
strategy meeting about the 

399
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,240
product that I am the product 
manager of. 

400
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,640
I'm so curious why I was not 
included. 

401
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,040
I I would think it would be a 
good idea to include me. 

402
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,080
Like what? 
What am I missing? 

403
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,560
What am I missing here? 
And we can do that in a way that

404
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,920
builds connection. 
That doesn't feel disrespectful.

405
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:21,360
That actually builds a greater 
sense of, like, confidence and 

406
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,360
trust. 
The sense that, Oh yeah, like 

407
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:27,080
you're on it, you know. 
But we don't always know. 

408
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,640
We don't always know why things 
happen. 

409
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:33,920
So when we wonder, we want to 
remember, it is possible to ask.

410
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,480
And so listen, if that is 
something that you want help 

411
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,880
with, if you feel like you're 
having to kind of guess at how 

412
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,040
things work and you're feeling 
actually quite uncomfortable 

413
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,360
with asking or you feel like 
you're not sure what to ask or 

414
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:51,320
how, that's something that I can
help you with. 

415
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,280
Work with me for six months. 
We're going to get it all sorted

416
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:55,760
out. 
I'm telling you it. 

417
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,240
It is a game changer. 
And this too. 

418
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,840
So I have two ways that you can 
work with me right now. 

419
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,760
One is work with me, one-on-one 
new clients, work with me for a 

420
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,480
minimum of six months. 
It is a transformative 

421
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,760
experience. 
And the way you start is you 

422
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,000
book a consultation. 
It's a free call for us to talk,

423
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,920
to connect so that we know what 
your goals will be for coaching 

424
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:24,240
and what will be the path that I
can help you with to get there. 

425
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,120
And if you want to do that, work
with me. 

426
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,360
So many of my clients find that 
the console itself is so 

427
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,320
valuable because they get a 
perspective that you can't get 

428
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,960
when you're in it. 
So console alone is an amazing 

429
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:43,560
experience and you can book that
through my website 

430
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,280
kimnickel.com. 
The other way you can work with 

431
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:51,240
me is to join the group program.
Now listen, the next group 

432
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:56,640
program kicks off in February. 
I know right now it is still 

433
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:01,800
what, November, December. 
But you want to get on the wait 

434
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,160
list for that so that you know 
as soon as it opens up, there 

435
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,640
are only going to be 10 seats in
the next group. 

436
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,880
And I'm going to offer those 
first to my alumni to the 

437
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,840
students that attended last year
or this year. 

438
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,760
So if you want to get one of 
those seats to the group 

439
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,800
program, we meet three times a 
month for three months. 

440
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:29,160
You want to get on the wait list
so that you know when you can 

441
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:34,360
join and and claim a spot. 
Do that on my website, 

442
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:38,480
alsokimnickel.com. 
Go to the new manager page and 

443
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,920
the real great bonus part as I 
mentioned before is when you 

444
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:46,440
join the wait list for the group
program you are going to get 

445
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:52,880
access to my workshop on self 
advocacy, specifically how to 

446
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,880
ask your work for professional 
development. 

447
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,120
And some of my students have 
used those same techniques to 

448
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:05,440
have their work pay for them to 
get coached by me, both 

449
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:10,240
one-on-one coaching as well as 
the group program. 

450
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,880
This is one of those things 
where, you know, I've seen so 

451
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,120
many people they feel really 
uncomfortable asking, Like for 

452
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:19,160
so many reasons. 
It can feel really uncomfortable

453
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,440
to ask for something. 
But if your work has the budget 

454
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:26,440
and if it will benefit them for 
you to get coaching or for you 

455
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,920
to be in this group program so 
that you can, you know, be more 

456
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,240
effective at work and be less 
stressed and less likely to burn

457
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,040
out, I mean, that's a good thing
and they may have the money for 

458
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,680
it. 
Like there may be like division.

459
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:45,240
There's like a pile of money 
that your work has specifically 

460
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,040
for learning and development so 
that you are better at what you 

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00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,360
do. 
But the only way you can access 

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00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:56,200
that is if you ask for it. 
Like the money will not know to 

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00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,240
jump out of the budget. 
And like, pay for your learning,

464
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,240
you have to initiate that 
conversation, and for so many 

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00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,360
people it's so uncomfortable. 
But I'm telling you, there are 

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00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:12,720
so many benefits to that. 
So please sign up to join my 

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00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,200
wait list. 
I want you to get access to that

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00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:21,400
video to gain more confidence in
your ability to ask for things 

469
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:26,960
on your own behalf that your 
work might be delighted to pay 

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00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:31,120
for and that way too. 
Sometimes even if your work is 

471
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,720
not, you know you can always pay
for it yourself, right? 

472
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,160
But if your work is willing to 
do it, then help them. 

473
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,440
Like help them, help you to help
them. 

474
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,840
It's a virtuous cycle, which is 
one of the reasons I love what I

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00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,880
do. 
So that is what I wanted to 

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00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,480
offer you today. 
Thank you so much for listening 

477
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,760
and I hope you have a really 
great week. 

478
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:58,920
I will talk to you next time. 
When you're more effective at 

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00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,440
work, you're happier in your 
life, and when you're happier in

480
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,640
your life, you're more effective
at work. 

481
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,880
I can help. 
Go to my website, kimnickel.com 

482
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,160
and sign up for a coaching 
consult. 

483
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:12,960
It can get better.