Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad that you're here. I hope you're doing well.
And I wanted to start by sharing an Insight that I had.
I was talking with someone who listens to this podcast and they
told me even though they're not a manager yet.
They're transitioning out of Academia into the corporate
world, and they told me that, Listening to my podcast was
really helpful, just for understanding how to work with
other humans in this new corporate environment.
And I love that because absolutely this podcast is for
you. Regardless of what stage you are
in your career. And even if you don't have
people, you officially manage what I know 100% is that before
you officially become a Manager you are developing skills to
manage relationships. Effectively at work.
You are learning how to manage up your learning how to manage
people that don't officially report to you.
But you still need to manage the relationship, manage
expectations. In order to get collaborative
work done. You might be managing
volunteers. You might be managing the
intern, you might have volunteered for a A committee or
a group project in your organization where you don't
officially manage, but basically you have to learn how to do
that. So I just wanted to share that
with you. And yes, definitely.
Take the insights from this podcast and put them to good
use. Use them in your own life.
The other thing I wanted to share right up front is that I
am a coach. I do have capacity right now for
more one-on-one clients. So if you want to get better at
managing people and you want to work one-on-one with me that is
available to you. Go to my website.
Chemical.com., You'll see how to message me to request a consult.
We'll talk about where you're at, what you want, how I can
help and I can even coach you a bit on how to Hitch coaching to
your organization because they might be thrilled that you are
taking the initiative to do this and they might sponsor some or
all of it for you. So, do that.
If that is interesting to you. I'd love to talk with you
one-on-one and help you even more.
Okay. Now, the topic for today.
I wanted to share with you this concept that every action you
take. Is driven by what you think and
how you feel when you become a manager.
And you now have to make decisions about people or you
have to take on new levels of responsibility and you're asking
yourself like what do I do? How do I do this?
All of that, focus on what you do?
The outcome of that will be driven by what you think and how
you feel. And just as one example, I
wanted to explore with you is, there's a thought that I see
come up with a lot of my clients and it's the thought I can do
it. I can do it.
That's the thought that drives their actions and often the
feeling of I can do it. Is this feeling of I'm
Dependable. You can count on me.
I'm a team player. I have the confidence to figure
this out. I can do it.
Let me help. That's the fundamental.
Thought and it often comes from a really positive place.
It's often connected to a very personal value system around
being self-sufficient, being helpful, being willing to pitch
in when there's a need. However, this can become
problematic. If you're not careful and by
that, I mean that same exact thought I can do it.
I can also turn into that actions of hoarding.
Like hoarding opportunities like saying yes to too many things
and never saying no having no boundaries.
I can do it. So you overextend yourself or
you make yourself too available when you're thinking.
I can do it that can turn into, you don't delegate.
Part of the manager's job is to decide what needs to happen,
who's going to do it and do they have everything they need in
order to accomplish that we can get hung up and not delegate
because we're thinking I can do it.
I don't want to burden anybody. I know how to do this.
It would take longer for them to do it because I know how to do
it. I'll do it.
I can do it sometimes to that. Thought I can do.
It, it actually signals that you don't trust anybody else to do
it. You would rather do it yourself
so it can be done the way you like and you don't trust other
people to take it on. Which is why it will not
surprise you that I can do. It can also turn in to
micromanaging. I can do it.
Or if you're going to do what you have to do it.
Exactly my way. Not to the expected standard or
the agreed upon you. No expectation, but more the
sense of my way is the right way and it is, the only correct way
and it needs to be done this way in order for me to feel
satisfied with the result. So micromanaging can show up.
That thought I can do. It can also be connected to this
other thought. There's no one to help me do it.
I'm all alone. Here.
I have no support. There is no one here that has my
back. I don't trust other people.
I've relied on people in the past.
They let me down. There's no one here to help me.
I can do it this kind of very rigid Independence
self-sufficiency. And the reason I wanted to point
all of these out is because it's really helpful to remember when
you're thinking about yourself as a manager and as a leader and
as someone who is making decisions, About what you are
doing, when you're making decisions, about what is the
priority? What will you take on?
What is yours to do? And what is someone else's to do
when you are in that position? It becomes very helpful to take
a step back. And really question.
What are the thoughts that are driving your behaviors?
If you are over committing or consistently, Ending or in a
pattern of opportunity, hoarding where you say yes to every
opportunity, even though, just because you could do, them
doesn't mean you have to take them all on, right?
Like if you're in this kind of behavior pattern where you're
creating results that are hindering you that are
interfering with your ability to do, your best work that are
getting in the way of your team doing their best work.
Then what we want to do is we want to pull back and say like
what is the thinking behind the doing?
What are the thoughts? And emotions that are driving,
that actions that you're taking because when you start to
understand that that makes it so much easier to know what to
adjust and change. Otherwise, what happens is you
might have an idea of like, I know I should delegate more but
you'll fight yourself on it because Neath.
I can do it and it you hold that as a very cherished value.
Like your ability to be self-sufficient, your ability to
be independent your willingness to be a team player because you
value that and it's tied up to your identity and your sense of
who you are in the world. You're going to want to defend
and protect that idea of who you are and what helps is when you
can see all the reason I am overextending myself.
The reason I am saying yes to everything and not delegating is
because in the back of my mind, I'm thinking I can do it.
And so, I just do it. And when you start to see that
in question, it, it makes it a lot easier to then adjust.
And maybe, then we say, alright, well, at this stage now, or
given the current constraints, or given the size of your team,
or given the goals you have for this quarter, or for this year.
If your goal is to onboard and grow your team by a certain
amount of people, then what will serve that goal.
Most is not you doing everything just because you know how and
you're the fastest at it. What will serve your goal more
is redirecting that same value, that same thought I can do it.
But now we're going to direct it to something uncomfortable like
delegating. Something you haven't done
before something you don't feel as competent or skillful at.
Now when you're facing something new, that same thought comes
into service for you again. Okay, I can do it.
I can slow down. I can document and create
resources for these processes. So as we are onboarding new team
members, I can have something ready.
For them to help them feel successful connected.
Clear about what they're working on.
I can start to offload some of the work from my plate and
successfully transition it to somebody else.
I can do that. And it is helpful because when
you start to see how all this works, you start to notice where
your resistance is and why what are you avoiding?
And why what are Are you procrastinating on and why?
And as you start to understand, you know, what are the thoughts,
and the emotions that are driving your actions and you
start to get more clarity about that.
That also, then translates when you're interacting with other
people and you're thinking, what are they doing?
Why why are they doing that? Why did they say that?
Why are they emailing these people in this way?
It actually starts to give you the ability to think in a
different like on a different level with respect to what the
folks around you are doing and that helps you to take things
less personally, get more Curious.
Remember that other people have a different life experience and
a different worldview. And so they may see things
differently and behave in ways that don't make sense to you at
first and being a A great manager includes having the
ability to effectively manage people with different
personalities. Different backgrounds,
different, worldviews. It's this ability to become
perceptive, Discerning flexible and all of that is about how
you're thinking all of that is going to drive.
Then the actions that you take so that is what I want to do.
Here with you today to this idea of how all of your actions are
driven by what you think, and how you feel.
And one idea I can do it. That can be very valuable in
some contexts can also get in your way.
So we want to be on to ourselves and understand what's going on
so that you can make choices that support, you the goals that
you have. For yourself as well as your
team, your organization and everyone that you are connected
to through the work that you do. Thank you so much for listening
and I'll see you next time when you're more effective at work.
You're happier in your life. And when you're happier in your
life, you're more effective at work.
I can help go to my website. Kim nickel.com and sign up for a
coaching consult. It can get better.