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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad that you're here. 
I hope you're doing well. 

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And I wanted to start by sharing
an Insight that I had. 

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I was talking with someone who 
listens to this podcast and they

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told me even though they're not 
a manager yet. 

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They're transitioning out of 
Academia into the corporate 

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world, and they told me that, 
Listening to my podcast was 

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really helpful, just for 
understanding how to work with 

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other humans in this new 
corporate environment. 

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And I love that because 
absolutely this podcast is for 

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you. 
Regardless of what stage you are

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in your career. 
And even if you don't have 

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people, you officially manage 
what I know 100% is that before 

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you officially become a Manager 
you are developing skills to 

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manage relationships. 
Effectively at work. 

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You are learning how to manage 
up your learning how to manage 

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people that don't officially 
report to you. 

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But you still need to manage the
relationship, manage 

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expectations. 
In order to get collaborative 

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work done. 
You might be managing 

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volunteers. 
You might be managing the 

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intern, you might have 
volunteered for a A committee or

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a group project in your 
organization where you don't 

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officially manage, but basically
you have to learn how to do 

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that. 
So I just wanted to share that 

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with you. 
And yes, definitely. 

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Take the insights from this 
podcast and put them to good 

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use. 
Use them in your own life. 

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The other thing I wanted to 
share right up front is that I 

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am a coach. 
I do have capacity right now for

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more one-on-one clients. 
So if you want to get better at 

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managing people and you want to 
work one-on-one with me that is 

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available to you. 
Go to my website. 

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Chemical.com., You'll see how to
message me to request a consult.

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We'll talk about where you're 
at, what you want, how I can 

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help and I can even coach you a 
bit on how to Hitch coaching to 

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your organization because they 
might be thrilled that you are 

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taking the initiative to do this
and they might sponsor some or 

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all of it for you. 
So, do that. 

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If that is interesting to you. 
I'd love to talk with you 

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one-on-one and help you even 
more. 

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Okay. 
Now, the topic for today. 

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I wanted to share with you this 
concept that every action you 

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take. 
Is driven by what you think and 

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how you feel when you become a 
manager. 

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And you now have to make 
decisions about people or you 

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have to take on new levels of 
responsibility and you're asking

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yourself like what do I do? 
How do I do this? 

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All of that, focus on what you 
do? 

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The outcome of that will be 
driven by what you think and how

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you feel. 
And just as one example, I 

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wanted to explore with you is, 
there's a thought that I see 

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come up with a lot of my clients
and it's the thought I can do 

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it. 
I can do it. 

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That's the thought that drives 
their actions and often the 

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feeling of I can do it. 
Is this feeling of I'm 

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Dependable. 
You can count on me. 

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I'm a team player. 
I have the confidence to figure 

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this out. 
I can do it. 

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Let me help. 
That's the fundamental. 

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Thought and it often comes from 
a really positive place. 

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It's often connected to a very 
personal value system around 

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being self-sufficient, being 
helpful, being willing to pitch 

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in when there's a need. 
However, this can become 

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problematic. 
If you're not careful and by 

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that, I mean that same exact 
thought I can do it. 

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I can also turn into that 
actions of hoarding. 

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Like hoarding opportunities like
saying yes to too many things 

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and never saying no having no 
boundaries. 

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I can do it. 
So you overextend yourself or 

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you make yourself too available 
when you're thinking. 

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I can do it that can turn into, 
you don't delegate. 

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Part of the manager's job is to 
decide what needs to happen, 

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who's going to do it and do they
have everything they need in 

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order to accomplish that we can 
get hung up and not delegate 

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because we're thinking I can do 
it. 

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I don't want to burden anybody. 
I know how to do this. 

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It would take longer for them to
do it because I know how to do 

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it. 
I'll do it. 

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I can do it sometimes to that. 
Thought I can do. 

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It, it actually signals that you
don't trust anybody else to do 

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it. 
You would rather do it yourself 

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so it can be done the way you 
like and you don't trust other 

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people to take it on. 
Which is why it will not 

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surprise you that I can do. 
It can also turn in to 

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micromanaging. 
I can do it. 

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Or if you're going to do what 
you have to do it. 

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Exactly my way. 
Not to the expected standard or 

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the agreed upon you. 
No expectation, but more the 

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sense of my way is the right way
and it is, the only correct way 

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and it needs to be done this way
in order for me to feel 

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satisfied with the result. 
So micromanaging can show up. 

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That thought I can do. 
It can also be connected to this

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other thought. 
There's no one to help me do it.

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I'm all alone. 
Here. 

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I have no support. 
There is no one here that has my

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back. 
I don't trust other people. 

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I've relied on people in the 
past. 

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They let me down. 
There's no one here to help me. 

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I can do it this kind of very 
rigid Independence 

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self-sufficiency. 
And the reason I wanted to point

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all of these out is because it's
really helpful to remember when 

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you're thinking about yourself 
as a manager and as a leader and

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as someone who is making 
decisions, About what you are 

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doing, when you're making 
decisions, about what is the 

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priority? 
What will you take on? 

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What is yours to do? 
And what is someone else's to do

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when you are in that position? 
It becomes very helpful to take 

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a step back. 
And really question. 

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What are the thoughts that are 
driving your behaviors? 

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If you are over committing or 
consistently, Ending or in a 

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pattern of opportunity, hoarding
where you say yes to every 

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opportunity, even though, just 
because you could do, them 

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doesn't mean you have to take 
them all on, right? 

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Like if you're in this kind of 
behavior pattern where you're 

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creating results that are 
hindering you that are 

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interfering with your ability to
do, your best work that are 

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getting in the way of your team 
doing their best work. 

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Then what we want to do is we 
want to pull back and say like 

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what is the thinking behind the 
doing? 

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What are the thoughts? 
And emotions that are driving, 

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that actions that you're taking 
because when you start to 

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understand that that makes it so
much easier to know what to 

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adjust and change. 
Otherwise, what happens is you 

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might have an idea of like, I 
know I should delegate more but 

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you'll fight yourself on it 
because Neath. 

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I can do it and it you hold that
as a very cherished value. 

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Like your ability to be 
self-sufficient, your ability to

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be independent your willingness 
to be a team player because you 

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value that and it's tied up to 
your identity and your sense of 

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who you are in the world. 
You're going to want to defend 

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and protect that idea of who you
are and what helps is when you 

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can see all the reason I am 
overextending myself. 

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The reason I am saying yes to 
everything and not delegating is

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because in the back of my mind, 
I'm thinking I can do it. 

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And so, I just do it. 
And when you start to see that 

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in question, it, it makes it a 
lot easier to then adjust. 

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And maybe, then we say, alright,
well, at this stage now, or 

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given the current constraints, 
or given the size of your team, 

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or given the goals you have for 
this quarter, or for this year. 

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If your goal is to onboard and 
grow your team by a certain 

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amount of people, then what will
serve that goal. 

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Most is not you doing everything
just because you know how and 

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you're the fastest at it. 
What will serve your goal more 

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is redirecting that same value, 
that same thought I can do it. 

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But now we're going to direct it
to something uncomfortable like 

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delegating. 
Something you haven't done 

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before something you don't feel 
as competent or skillful at. 

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Now when you're facing something
new, that same thought comes 

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into service for you again. 
Okay, I can do it. 

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I can slow down. 
I can document and create 

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resources for these processes. 
So as we are onboarding new team

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members, I can have something 
ready. 

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For them to help them feel 
successful connected. 

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Clear about what they're working
on. 

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I can start to offload some of 
the work from my plate and 

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successfully transition it to 
somebody else. 

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I can do that. 
And it is helpful because when 

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you start to see how all this 
works, you start to notice where

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your resistance is and why what 
are you avoiding? 

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And why what are Are you 
procrastinating on and why? 

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And as you start to understand, 
you know, what are the thoughts,

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and the emotions that are 
driving your actions and you 

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start to get more clarity about 
that. 

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That also, then translates when 
you're interacting with other 

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people and you're thinking, what
are they doing? 

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Why why are they doing that? 
Why did they say that? 

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Why are they emailing these 
people in this way? 

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It actually starts to give you 
the ability to think in a 

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different like on a different 
level with respect to what the 

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folks around you are doing and 
that helps you to take things 

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less personally, get more 
Curious. 

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Remember that other people have 
a different life experience and 

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a different worldview. 
And so they may see things 

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differently and behave in ways 
that don't make sense to you at 

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first and being a A great 
manager includes having the 

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ability to effectively manage 
people with different 

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personalities. 
Different backgrounds, 

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different, worldviews. 
It's this ability to become 

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perceptive, Discerning flexible 
and all of that is about how 

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you're thinking all of that is 
going to drive. 

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Then the actions that you take 
so that is what I want to do. 

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Here with you today to this idea
of how all of your actions are 

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driven by what you think, and 
how you feel. 

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And one idea I can do it. 
That can be very valuable in 

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some contexts can also get in 
your way. 

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So we want to be on to ourselves
and understand what's going on 

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so that you can make choices 
that support, you the goals that

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you have. 
For yourself as well as your 

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team, your organization and 
everyone that you are connected 

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to through the work that you do.
Thank you so much for listening 

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and I'll see you next time when 
you're more effective at work. 

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You're happier in your life. 
And when you're happier in your 

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life, you're more effective at 
work. 

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I can help go to my website. 
Kim nickel.com and sign up for a

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coaching consult. 
It can get better.