1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:18,100 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Welcome, it's Kim. 3 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:22,800 I'm glad that you're here and just as start I would like to 4 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,600 invite you to reach your arms out. 5 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,800 Wide. Just take a breath, take a 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,700 little bit of a stretch. Yeah, you know, it's so easy to 7 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:38,000 get caught up in our head in our thought space and forget that we 8 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,800 have a body and especially when you're under pressure and under 9 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,100 stress and you're facing a lot of uncertainty which happens 10 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,600 always. You know, let's be honest. 11 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,800 I mean just the course of life is like that. 12 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,200 Just now it's like everything is being Amplified and we're really 13 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,700 being stretched to confront some really unexpected changes. 14 00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:03,100 So you're going to need every skill and every strength and 15 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:07,300 every resource and every tool that you have and remembering to 16 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,700 breathe. It's so simple, but it really 17 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:13,800 helps. And part of the reason why is 18 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,400 when we are under pressure under stress when In a state of 19 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:23,300 consistent alertness and a state of anxiety. 20 00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:26,600 Then we tend to contract in our body. 21 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,400 We tend to breathe very shallow. And the mind is in this alert. 22 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,800 A state of, you know, looking for all the possible things that 23 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,100 can go wrong and try to deal with that and that's wonderful, 24 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:42,300 but it also becomes exhausting and it's not a very sustainable 25 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:47,600 way to live your life in any Ants and especially right now, 26 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:53,100 we want you to be at your most grounded, your most adaptable, 27 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:59,500 your most responsive or most resourceful and creative and to 28 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:04,300 let you tap into your energy that will let you bring the best 29 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,900 of who you are to all of these uncertainties and changing 30 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:11,300 situations. So simple starting point. 31 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,100 Just every once in a while. Please extend your arms out 32 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,100 wide. You know, like a bigoted 33 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:21,200 bigoted, make yourself like a big starfish, just stretch out, 34 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:26,600 your body wide, take a deep breath and let it all go. 35 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:32,300 When we take a full, exhale. It helps the body to calm down 36 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:37,400 and then your brain can think a little bit more clearly and be a 37 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:42,400 little bit more creative. Now, the reason I'm actually 38 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,400 sharing all of this with you right now is because I just 39 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:50,200 finished leading a well-being class for a friend of mine. 40 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,500 She has this team that she manages and maybe half the team 41 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:58,500 is across the u.s. And the other half of the team 42 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:02,300 is in India, and she said, Kim, my team is so stressed right 43 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,400 now. I would love for you to come in 44 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,700 and lead a well-being session just to help them feel more 45 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:11,500 grounded, more calm. And so I included some of these 46 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,200 movements in that class and I thought, oh, yeah, this is 47 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,600 really great. Should share this with you, my 48 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,000 dear listener. So, please remember to stretch 49 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,000 your body and there are a few other things that I learned and 50 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,100 this is around the idea of how when you're in a manager role or 51 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:32,600 in a leadership role. How can you support your team as 52 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,100 humans? You know, one thing that I think 53 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:42,200 we're all really seeing is that the human part of us is much 54 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,500 more visible. And by that it's kind of Like, 55 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:51,600 for example, some pot, some people are, you know, I work at 56 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,300 work. I'm home at home, those two 57 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,600 things are separate. I organize my life. 58 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:01,800 So that, those two things don't intersect, there might be your 59 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,700 professional self, your family self, your personal self, and 60 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:09,700 each one of those different parts of who you are operates in 61 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,800 different kinds of places. So there's the home place. 62 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,300 There's the workplace there's wherever it is that you Go to to 63 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,200 explore and experience other parts of yourself, whether it's 64 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,900 a yoga class or going out for to walk your dog or whatever. 65 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,200 That is. Now. 66 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,800 What's interesting now is that all of those boundaries, all of 67 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:35,600 those separate places where we would show up to live life. 68 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,900 They're now being like, the boundaries are being blurred 69 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:42,400 because so many of us are required or simply choosing to 70 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,900 shelter at home and to stay inside and to work from home. 71 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:51,000 And so now we're losing some of that mind space because we don't 72 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:55,700 have those transitional moments. Like, we don't have the same 73 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:59,400 kind of breathing room to transition our mind. 74 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,300 From, here's my brain at home with my family. 75 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,000 Here's my brain at work with my colleagues. 76 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:10,100 Here's my brain in, you know, a fitness class or doing something 77 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,500 outside. Everything's happening under the 78 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,500 same roof. And so that can create all 79 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:19,800 different kinds of Stress or discomfort or just a weird sort 80 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,600 of feeling of all of these things. 81 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,600 Now kind of smoosh together. So a few things from the session 82 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,800 that I just taught that I wanted to share with you and this is 83 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:34,700 for both you from the managerial leader perspective, but also for 84 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,900 you is a who is a human is to number one. 85 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:39,500 It's a remember, a couple of things. 86 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:43,300 And so number one is remember that for some of the folks on 87 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,000 your team, having their home and personal. 88 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,300 Personal life available or kind of visible through online. 89 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:53,500 Meetings can be really uncomfortable. 90 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:58,100 Everyone has different family, situations, different, living 91 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:03,600 situations, and for some of us. And for some of the people on 92 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:08,600 your team, just the transition to now doing Meetings online is 93 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,600 going to create this whole level of stress or pressure or just 94 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,800 awkwardness that they might want their private life. 95 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,200 And Personal life to be very separate from work, and now 96 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,400 there might not be a quiet corner for them to work and to 97 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,400 get their things done. That just might be something 98 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,900 that creates anxiety or stress for them. 99 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,700 And number two related to that is also realizing that not 100 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:41,100 everyone has a really robust Wi-Fi or data plan. 101 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:47,900 Not everyone will be able to have as much much access to 102 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,800 video streaming and all of these online activities. 103 00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:55,800 And so one of the things that you can do as a manager and as 104 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,700 you're planning, meetings is to realize. 105 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,400 Okay. Maybe I don't need to have 106 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,600 everyone on video for this. Maybe we can just make this an 107 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,700 audio meeting an audio call. So people can just listen in or 108 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:13,400 just use the chat or just talk, but maybe we don't actually need 109 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,800 to use video right now. I found two that with all of the 110 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,000 video that we're doing. There's this weird thing where 111 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,200 it's like, all of the constant eye contact has been exhausting 112 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,000 because if you think about in a day, when you might, you know, 113 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,800 go to the office and you work with people and then you go home 114 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:36,200 when you're in meetings and talking with people, you're not 115 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,900 facing them, straight on for the entire conversation. 116 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,800 A lot of times you might be in conversation side-by-side 117 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,100 shoulder-to-shoulder. Or if there's a big group 118 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,000 gathered in a meeting, you know, you're looking from one person 119 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,200 to the other from one person together, you're looking down 120 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,600 and doing notes, you're looking up and and, and thinking deeply 121 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,400 about something. And so there's this really 122 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,300 interesting experience. I've been noticing that on group 123 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:07,500 Zoom calls where you see all the little boxes. 124 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:13,200 It's very disorienting to actually have all of these faces 125 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,200 and all of these eyes. What feels like all these I was 126 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,800 looking at you and they're all the same size. 127 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,700 So there's no sense of proportion. 128 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:24,400 There's no sense of being distant or, or close. 129 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:28,200 Just everyone is equidistant away, and everybody's looking 130 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:34,600 and the desire to create I contact through the screen, is 131 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:39,100 so powerful, but it can also be really, really exhausting. 132 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:46,900 So when you can give your eyes a break and give your Your team's 133 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,100 eyes a break and say, you know what we're going to do this 134 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,800 check in. Let's just do it by Audio. 135 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,200 You do not have to be looking at the screen. 136 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:58,200 Maybe your, you know, standing up, or maybe you are just give 137 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,900 your eyes a break. Let people have some time away 138 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:05,200 from the eye contact. And then when you do have people 139 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:09,100 on video, it becomes more effective and it becomes more 140 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:13,300 powerful because people aren't already oversaturated with that. 141 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:17,300 We all have different capacities, so you Very, how 142 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:22,200 often you do video, and how much you just do, audio and chat. 143 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,200 All right. Another tip is that, when you're 144 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,900 also doing your meetings and Gatherings on, Zoom, definitely 145 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:35,100 do use the chat function or Q&A if you're using the webinar 146 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:40,200 function because you want to let everyone be engaged and 147 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,800 participate and kind of connect with each other and doing that 148 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,800 through chat as a really elegant. 149 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:50,700 Giant way to do that. Sometimes you'll have to remind 150 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:55,000 people of when, and how to use it because otherwise they just 151 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,900 get caught in the screen or caught in the work that they're 152 00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:01,400 doing and they will forget and it can be a little bit trickier 153 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,200 for it, to be, as organic in, adding a comment, or asking a 154 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:11,200 question when you're online versus in person and especially 155 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,800 if you're doing audio, so maybe screens are dark. 156 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,500 You're just doing audio. If you have a chat that lets you 157 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,700 stay connected to everybody. And it gives them a really easy, 158 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:26,000 way to contribute to ask questions, to share their 159 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:30,400 thoughts without the awkward, life interrupting, or trying to 160 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,800 find a path in. Another suggestion for you. 161 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,800 Remember to support, your team as humans. 162 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:43,500 Support your team as humans. And one way to do that, is to 163 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,800 have online Gatherings that are not about work. 164 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,800 But that are instead about care. Now, that might happen in a 165 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,400 one-on-one. You might simply say, hey, how 166 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:59,900 are you doing as a human today and keeping it that narrow 167 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,000 scope. How are you today? 168 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:07,300 How are you in this moment? Because everything could change, 169 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,500 we want to help guide people. Will to connect with what's 170 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:13,900 happening in this moment because that's the place where you can 171 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:18,900 help and sometimes helping is really just about being willing 172 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:22,500 to listen. You don't have to solve a 173 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:30,100 problem in order to help. Yeah, let that sink in a little 174 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:33,000 bit because sometimes it's easy to believe. 175 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,500 The only way I help is by solving things. 176 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,100 You know, we live in such a culture that is kind of obsessed 177 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:43,200 with being solutions-oriented and that can feel like a lot of 178 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,600 pressure and a lot of effort. But remember, sometimes the 179 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:51,000 greatest support and the greatest gift, you can offer to 180 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,600 someone is to simply be present with them to witness them to 181 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,200 listen without. Erupting. 182 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:02,300 And to even just to say that sounds really hard. 183 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,700 I get it. That sounds like a tough spot 184 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,100 and you're not trying to fix it. You're not trying to solve it. 185 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:14,600 You're not giving advice very often. 186 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,300 I will also share is that when we are in a state of feeling 187 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:23,000 overwhelmed or just feeling really stuck, sometimes the last 188 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,300 thing that helps is someone saying, well, you know what you 189 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,400 should do. Have you tried this? 190 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:33,200 We're not always able to receive that kind of eager. 191 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:38,000 In a useful way, it can just feel like piling on the list of 192 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,900 things that I already have to do. 193 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,700 And now, you're giving me all this other stuff and I feel lame 194 00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:45,000 because, of course, I thought of that, but I'm just still feeling 195 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,500 stuck about it. So if you're asking yourself, 196 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:52,900 how can I support people? Create a little bit of space to 197 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:56,100 connect with people just as humans. 198 00:12:56,500 --> 00:13:00,400 How are you as a human today? You can do that in your 199 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,800 one-on-ones, or you can also do that in. 200 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,300 Group, Gatherings not always a meeting. 201 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,600 I think of meetings as things where we have to get something 202 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,700 done. But sometimes a gathering the 203 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:15,200 purpose of that is to just connect touch base, receive 204 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:21,100 support, get grounded, share. It's a very human, emotional 205 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:25,700 support kind of a thing. So that's an option to related 206 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:29,000 to that though. Also be inclusive and make this 207 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,900 safe for people. So for example, not everyone has 208 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,700 great bandwidth or Quiet workspace at home. 209 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:39,100 So if you are trying to create a supportive Gathering and you 210 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,700 say, hey Wednesday morning is our check-in jump on zoom and 211 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:47,100 we'll have a quick talk realize that that might be creating 212 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:51,900 barriers for people if it's required to be online with 213 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:56,100 video. So give people options and say, 214 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,500 okay, if you don't have great bandwidth, that's okay. 215 00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:02,500 You can join it by Audio Only and and related to that. 216 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:08,900 Realize that everyone has different ways that they like to 217 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:14,700 feel supported. So as you are looking for ways 218 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:21,000 to offer support to your team as humans offer options, make it 219 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:28,400 available variable and optional. So that people can choose for 220 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,600 themselves. And that's part of what a great 221 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,200 manager does to provides some directions. 222 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:39,100 Some clear communication, but also empowers people to make a 223 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:42,300 judgment call, that will be best for them. 224 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,600 You don't have to tell people what they need. 225 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:51,200 I know, sometimes it might feel like that's what you want to do. 226 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,800 But instead, you can simply make it as an offer, the way that it 227 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,700 was. The the class I led this morning 228 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:01,500 was phrase was hey, Tim. I know we've been going through 229 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,400 a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety. 230 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,100 So I wanted to offer this well-being class. 231 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,500 It's completely optional. So join us, if you would like 232 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,000 and if you don't want to, that's okay to go ahead and use that 233 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:20,200 time for whatever will best support you today. 234 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000 And that's a way of letting people know that you're there 235 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,400 for them. You support them, you 236 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,900 understand? And that they will choose what 237 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:32,600 they need and this is available. So that's something you can try 238 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,600 to. And one of the things I really 239 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,200 want to remind you. Is that small things really do 240 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,100 matter, you know, it's so hard right now. 241 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:44,500 Everyone's patience is being stretched. 242 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:51,700 Everyone's attention is being you know called for and everyone 243 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:55,400 is kind of figuring out as we go, you know, like what is what 244 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,600 is this? Situation mean for me. 245 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,500 What does it mean for my family? What does it mean for my career? 246 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:05,100 What does it mean for my work? And a lot of ways things that 247 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:10,600 had felt stable in the past are feeling very uncertain and very 248 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,300 uncomfortable and how they're moving right now. 249 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:20,400 And what you can do is number one really care for and maintain 250 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:25,800 your own inner self your own inner, whether the more that you 251 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:33,300 can Says that kind of calm creative, grounded, human part 252 00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:37,700 of yourself the better, you'll show up for your team. 253 00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:43,800 And for everybody around you. So be mindful to care for 254 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,600 yourself. One of the tricky things to with 255 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,500 Stress, and Anxiety is that it can start to feel so normal that 256 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:54,600 we don't even realize that were so contracted or that were 257 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,100 feeling so much. We're feeling so much of it. 258 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:03,200 So every once in a while, go ahead and take a stretch, take a 259 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:07,400 breath, bring yourself back down into this moment. 260 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,300 And remember that, no matter what happens. 261 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:16,800 It's all going to be one breath at a time. 262 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:29,100 So support yourself support your team, humans need care and that 263 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,900 can look a lot of different ways. 264 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,300 Alright. I hope this has been helpful for 265 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,900 you. Take really great care of 266 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,800 yourself and those around you today and all days. 267 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:46,200 I'll talk to you later. Do you want personal 268 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,000 confidential help with your situation at work? 269 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,300 I offer one-on-one coaching and can help you overcome challenges 270 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,800 reach your goals and become a more effective leader to 271 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:02,300 schedule a consult. Go to my website, Kim nickel.com 272 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:06,800 coaching and we'll schedule time to talk about what's going on 273 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,900 with you and how I can help. Talk to you soon.