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Welcome. 
To the New Manager Podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nichol. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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As we begin today, I want to ask
you what does self-care look 

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like for you? 
Think about. 

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That just for a moment, and you 
can even think about it in a 

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very short. 
Term timeline. 

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So just for today, what does 
self-care look like? 

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Where does that show up? 
In the course of the week, what 

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does self-care look like? 
Where does it show up? 

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And if you are asking yourself 
why are we even talking about 

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this right now, I want to first 
be glad that you're here. 

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Because this is. 
Actually a very important topic 

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when it comes to being a manager
and being a leader and if you 

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are someone who is really 
committed to doing a great job 

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at work. 
And you put people first. 

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Like you're often more worried 
about how other. 

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People are doing than yourself 
especially. 

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If you are in any kind of 
purpose driven organization, or 

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you are. 
Working to make things. 

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Somehow better in the bigger 
world, in your community, in 

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your industry and the 
collective, it is so easy to 

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overlook how you are. 
Doing yourself also if you. 

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Have any kind of background that
required you to? 

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TuneIn to others. 
And manage their emotions and 

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put, you know, kind of 
prioritize the the people. 

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Around you. 
In order to create a feeling of 

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safety for yourself such that 
you either have this past. 

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Experience of either 
dissociating or simply kind of 

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numbing out or overlooking your 
own needs and preferences and 

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desires. 
Then this can also feel like a 

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weird. 
Question when we ask about 

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yourself care but it. 
Becomes really important and so 

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I wanted to take some time today
to talk with you about. 

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This and bring this into the 
active conversation around what 

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it means to be a new manager, 
what it means to be a leader and

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especially. 
A human centered leader. 

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I don't always talk about that 
here. 

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But it's underlying everything 
that I teach and share, which is

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the perspective that. 
Human centered leadership is 

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about remembering the humanity 
and the humanness through which 

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you're making decisions about 
how you lead. 

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Your team about how you manage 
the challenges that come up and 

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that includes you your own 
humanness, which. 

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Also expands beyond your 
specific functional work role. 

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And it even extends beyond your 
career and your professional 

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life. 
I often think of our career. 

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And our work life as one venue 
or one place that you are. 

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Experiencing and expressing 
yourself in your life and in the

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world and the workplace is an 
important place. 

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It's a place that can be, at its
best, collaborative. 

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And generative and creative and 
there is a lot that we can do 

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together that we. 
Don't get to experience when 

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we're isolated or. 
Solo or completely separate from

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There's actually a lot. 
That can be gained when we work 

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together. 
At its best, that's what I see 

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career and workplace. 
As being at its worst. 

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Of course, things can be very 
toxic. 

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And draining and extractive and 
exploitive And not fun at all 

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but this. 
Is why I think it's important to

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look through this lens of what 
does. 

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Human centered leadership Mean 
and then looking today at this 

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question of self-care. 
And bringing that into how you 

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think about your experience at 
work and the way that you lead 

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people. 
So one thing I've been doing 

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this year is I have been the 
coach creating and supporting a 

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self-care program within the 
Cartier Women's Initiative. 

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And if you don't know about the 
Cartier? 

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Women's Initiative. 
I encourage you to check them 

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out. 
They are an incredible program 

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that supports women impact 
entrepreneurs all around the 

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world. 
And they run a, you know, a 

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program, a fellowship for this 
cohort of. 

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You know, women impact 
entrepreneurs every year and 

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they're doing a lot of great 
work to support. 

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You know, people who are. 
Doing meaningful and important 

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work in the world, right? 
Just like you. 

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Like I I. 
Always assume that if. 

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You are listening to this 
podcast. 

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It's because. 
Number one, you care about 

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people. 
You care about doing a great job

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as a manager for the people that
you work with. 

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And you're also aware. 
Of and thinking about how the 

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work that you do in the world 
ripples out in a positive way. 

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And makes a difference. 
And so one of the things that 

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I've observed, you know, and 
just really. 

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Have been spending a lot of my 
time and my work around is in 

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noticing what happens when we 
take time to include self-care 

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as part of. 
Being an effective leader and 

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being an effective manager. 
So here are some things I wanted

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to share. 
One is that simply connection. 

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Connection in your life is a 
powerful. 

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Form of self-care. 
In that one it starts to reduce 

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anxiety. 
Anxiety tends to go up as. 

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We start to feel more isolated 
or disconnected. 

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What's really interesting is 
when we connect with others, we.

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Don't even need to have solved. 
Or found a solution to whatever 

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challenges we're. 
Facing there will always. 

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Be different kinds of challenges
that are happening in your work 

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life. 
And in the workplace and with 

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your team and and even in the 
bigger world. 

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And sometimes we think I can't 
feel better until I solve for 

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all of that. 
And that's a lot. 

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And some of those things are not
things that have necessarily. 

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Solutions per se, like we can 
solve for this once and it's 

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done forever. 
It's more like we need to think 

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about how do we live. 
With and manage and be in 

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relationship with the with these
kinds of challenges. 

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O for example in the workplace. 
Think about hiring. 

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When you hire someone, there's 
the challenge of thinking 

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through how do we write? 
This job description How do we? 

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Attract and get this job 
description in front of a 

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diverse and powerful. 
Set of candidates How do we 

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phrase the job? 
Description in a way that 

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people. 
Will not self select out. 

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And hold themselves back from 
even applying. 

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How do we then? 
Interview people. 

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How do we make decisions about 
who? 

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We will bring into the team and 
then how do we on board them. 

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So we create an experience that 
makes it easy for them to join 

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and activate and connect and 
become, you know, very engaged 

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and active participants and 
contributors as quickly as 

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possible. 
That's the kind of business 

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challenge that you will never 
solve in that it will never be 

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done. 
You will always be learning how 

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to do it better and you know 
what isn't working and part of 

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the the. 
Continuous learning is because 

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of the humanity. 
Because of the human part, you 

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might have a really clear 
process. 

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That works for one kind of 
human. 

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One of the things I've been 
seeing in my work lately that 

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really gives me a great feeling 
in my own heart is how many 

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people are now asking themselves
questions like. 

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How can we be more, you know, 
inclusive in our hiring 

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processes? 
Like how? 

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Can we design this hiring 
process to work with? 

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Neurodiverse people so for. 
Example I'm seeing that people 

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you know hiring like I want to 
say hiring hiring people that 

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you know the when you're in the 
position to influence and make 

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decisions about how do we. 
Hire One specific thing I'm 

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seeing more of in the space is 
giving. 

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The candidates, the questions 
ahead of time and the thinking 

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is, you know, we don't want to 
kind of ambush or surprise 

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people with the. 
We want to do what we can to 

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reduce the anxiety. 
So that we can have a more, you 

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know, like a more effective 
conversation about who they are 

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and what is the work they've 
done and what, you know, who are

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we and what is the work that 
we're doing so we can actually 

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find a good fit because we 
realized. 

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Oh, not everyone is good in that
kind of situation and that kind 

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of pressure. 
And you know, especially if the 

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job is not about hey. 
Answer answer these questions 

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under pressure immediately, 
like, you know, we we start to 

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get really curious about what 
are we. 

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Actually trying to accomplish 
here, what are the? 

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Ways we're doing that and is 
there a way to do it better? 

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So there's this. 
Continuous learning that is 

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always happening. 
And that is why. 

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You know, we want to have this 
awareness of self-care. 

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In the picture, because some 
things will not be, you know, 

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like solve to completion, never 
have to look at that again. 

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Most things actually are more 
about this iterative 

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relationship, where you're 
learning and implementing and 

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adjusting continuously, and if 
that starts to feel at all. 

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Overwhelming or you start to 
feel disappointed. 

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Just realize that walking is the
same way, right? 

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Like when you take a step, 
you're. 

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Continuously, you know, sensing 
the changing environment around 

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you. 
You're taking an account of what

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kind of shoes you're wearing, 
what kind of terrain you're on, 

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and you're making these little 
adjustments all the time. 

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It doesn't have to feel 
laborious or difficult. 

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It just becomes a way that you 
do things. 

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I mean, even breathing is kind 
of like that. 

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Every breath the. 
Inhale and the exhale might be 

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different volumes. 
You know, sometimes we breathe 

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really shallow. 
Sometimes we take really big 

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luxurious breaths. 
But we're not, you know, we're 

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not trying to solve it in our 
mind first of, OK, I'm going to 

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breathe in for exactly this much
and then out for exactly this 

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much. 
I mean, we do that sometimes as 

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an intentional practice to calm 
and ground and shift how we're. 

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Feeling, but it is always 
happening in the moment this 

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very. 
Organic adjustment and you know,

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changing as you go. 
So coming back to, you know this

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thought, the conversation of 
self-care and leadership and 

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connection. 
So when we find connection that 

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can serve to reduce. 
The anxiety without having 

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solved for the. 
Things that you look at as. 

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Creating your anxiety. 
Let me see if I can say this 

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another way, because I think 
this is really important if 

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you're feeling anxious or 
worried or stressed or. 

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Overwhelmed about things that 
are happening at work? 

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You don't need to solve for all 
of. 

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Those challenges in order to 
start feeling grounded, capable 

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and competent and confident, you
can actually start to feel 

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better through. 
Connection 1st and this is also 

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really good. 
To know about yourself if you 

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are highly self. 
Reliant if you have. 

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Like a can do, I can do it. 
I don't need anybody. 

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Attitude. 
You know there are times when 

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that spirit and ability to be 
self. 

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Reliant is really an asset and 
then there are times when it 

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will get in your way, so you 
want to be able to discern and 

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be clear about how you. 
Are in relationship to that. 

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So connection can help reduce 
anxiety it also. 

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Becomes a way to normalize the 
challenges that you face. 

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So one thing that's really 
interesting Every time I I teach

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a group, whether it was. 
This, this one that I was doing 

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with the women impact 
entrepreneurs or whether. 

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It's when I'm teaching my group 
for new managers. 

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What's so cool is that. 
When people gather and 

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especially. 
When you're in different 

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industries and when you're in 
different companies or different

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organizations and you start 
talking and sharing about the 

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challenges that you're facing. 
It begins to normalize them 

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because you realize, oh, it's 
not just me, it's not just me. 

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It might just be oh, this is. 
Really common as a human. 

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This is really common at this 
stage in my career journey. 

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Oh, this is really common in 
this kind of organization, like 

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in the size of this. 
Organization and so when we 

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start to normalize the the 
challenges that also. 

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Creates a feeling of connection.
And it eases anxiety. 

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It also has this effect of. 
Helping you to feel. 

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Seen, accepted and heard there 
are. 

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So many ways that we. 
Like Micro Mask in the 

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workplace, you know, especially 
if you're very concerned about 

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how people are. 
Perceiving you if you are 

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wanting to come across and be 
seen in a certain way. 

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And there's a lot of. 
Kind of guardedness and a lot of

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micro masking that you'll do. 
And you may be so good at it. 

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That you don't even realize how 
often you do this, right? 

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Sometimes you actually are very 
aware of it, because it starts 

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to. 
Feel tiring and exhausting and 

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heavy that. 
When you're able to step out of 

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that environment and then 
connect with others and begin to

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feel. 
Like, oh, it's not just me. 

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Some of these things are very 
normal, are very common, and you

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have this space where you can 
feel seen and accepted and 

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uplifted in that. 
That's often a very natural 

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consequence. 
And what's so incredible is it? 

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Happened so fast and I've seen 
this over and over again. 

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So as the group gathers and 
people start to see each other, 

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it's like, oh hi, Oh my gosh, it
was so good to see you. 

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How are? 
You doing there is a. 

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Real connection to the humanity 
and the humanness of a person as

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opposed to their title or role 
or. 

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Relationship to you. 
I think This is why when you 

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know like like what I. 
Have seen as you're going 

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through your career. 
Journey and you're looking for 

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guidance and learning how to get
better at. 

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At managing people and what does
it mean and you know how do you 

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measure success and and all of 
these these. 

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Questions that I see come into 
play when we hit these different

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stages of career. 
And life. 

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I think that's why. 
That begins to happen, like as 

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those questions come in. 
Then there's this connection 

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that happens outside of the. 
Organization that you're in. 

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That creates more of that 
feeling of connection and ease 

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and feeling uplifted and feeling
accepted and feeling seen. 

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It's amazing how quickly that 
happens because we're so. 

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Often influenced by the 
environment that's around us, 

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our working environment for 
sure, but also that internal 

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mindset environment, the voice 
inside your head that is 

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narrating to you all the time, 
whether you know are you doing a

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good job or not. 
That is an internal voice that 

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the more you get aware of it. 
And a handle on it, the more you

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can not be kind of at the mercy 
of it, which is something that 

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comes up a lot when I'm working 
with my clients one-on-one and 

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and in Group 2 to some extent. 
So what then happens when you 

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have that connection, especially
in a group of peers where 

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you're? 
Starting to ease that anxiety? 

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Normalize some of the 
challenges. 

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You start to feel more seen and 
accepted. 

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You start to feel a little. 
Bit more uplifted a little. 

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Bit more aware of your. 
Own strengths and qualities as 

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you begin to really cultivate. 
And anchor into a feeling of 

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internal safety. 
Now, I've seen a lot of 

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conversations in, you know, the 
workplace space. 

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About creating psychological 
safety, right? 

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With your team and within your 
culture, I really care about. 

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Creating more safety inside of 
you as an individual person, 

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because the more that you do 
that number one, the better. 

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For you. 
And again, we're talking about 

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human centered leadership. 
So it starts with. 

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You and let's create more safety
for you. 

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And then from that place you'll 
be able. 

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To lead in a way that creates 
more safety for others. 

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So it becomes this very 
internally generated and then 

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it's like this force of 
influence that you bring into 

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the world through you, through 
the way. 

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That you're being and the way 
that you handle things, and that

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I think is one of the most 
valuable perspectives that you. 

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Can have because you. 
You know, if you only depend on 

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the external conditions and 
circumstances for that. 

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Internal feeling of safety. 
That's a really hard place to 

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be. 
Because then you're kind of at 

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the mercy of all these things 
outside of you. 

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But instead we work to create. 
More of that feeling of safety 

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that you. 
Already have on the inside, and 

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sometimes it's a lot easier to 
get that outside. 

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Of your organization. 
You know, for so many reasons, 

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but like, that's part of what? 
Connection can do, and that's 

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part of self-care. 
I was. 

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Chatting with one of the 
students in this group and you 

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know when I asked her So what 
does self-care look? 

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For you, right now, you know 
what? 

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What have you been practicing 
for your self-care? 

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And what she said was, I've been
being more patient with myself. 

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That was it. 
She's like. 

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I have been being more patient. 
You know, I used to be really 

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self. 
Judgy and would kind of guilt 

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myself, but how? 
I wasn't doing enough and I've 

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just decided I'm going to be 
more patient with myself. 

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And I asked her. 
You know, OK. 

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So how's that? 
Going what is the effect of 

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that? 
And she said, well, it. 

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Actually it's really nice. 
Like I just. 

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I feel more relaxed and being 
more patient with myself and as 

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a result I'm also being more 
patient with my team. 

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I feel. 
I'm also being more patient with

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my family and you know, and as a
result of. 

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That things are happening faster
and more easily. 

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It's so interesting and I love. 
It like I love it every time I 

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see. 
This shift, this awareness of 

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oh. 
It actually is is good on so 

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many. 
There is actually a very 

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positive ripple effect from one 
small shift from 1:00. 

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Perspective shift and I often. 
Teach this as the to be list 

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right like you're being drives, 
you're doing and we can get so 

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overwhelmed by all of the things
to. 

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Do that we forget to to look at 
like who are you being as you 

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are doing those things and so 
you can choose one word. 

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One thing I I want to be 
patient. 

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Start with myself and then let. 
That ripple out and. 

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This is also where you learn to 
discern the difference between 

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patients and, for example, not 
having boundaries or being a. 

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Pushover or letting people walk 
all over you? 

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Those are not the same thing. 
At all, and often when we get 

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more, you know of the. 
Of the patients first. 

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It then makes it so much. 
Easier to have the hard 

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conversations. 
To set the boundaries. 

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To do all of these things 
without beating up on yourself 

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or without coming from a. 
Highly reactive place, so you 

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know for. 
Today I just wanted to share 

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with you the idea that self-care
is very much a part of the 

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conversation around. 
How do you be an effective 

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manager and what does it mean to
practice human centered 

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leadership? 
I'll be talking about that more 

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because I've been thinking about
it, you know, in many other ways

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quite recently and I want you 
to. 

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Have access to more of this as 
well. 

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It makes such a difference in 
the way that you work and the 

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way that you experience your 
work. 

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Your life, yourself and your 
career. 

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So that is what I wanted to 
share with you today. 

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I also want to invite you. 
If this is something that you're

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00:22:35,690 --> 00:22:38,890
like, that sounds awesome, but. 
Like how do I do that? 

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That's what I work on with my 
clients, number one, and we can 

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00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:48,530
do that together in two. 
I have a group program that is 

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opening in September. 
Application window is currently 

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open, so you can. 
Register or sign up for that. 

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You can do that now and we'll 
start in September. 

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And the other way that you can 
work with me is one-on-one and 

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00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:06,710
if you're not sure, like. 
How does it work with? 

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00:23:06,710 --> 00:23:10,870
Which one do I do Then talk to 
me, get some time on my 

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00:23:10,870 --> 00:23:13,030
calendar. 
It's in the show notes and we 

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00:23:13,030 --> 00:23:16,190
can walk through the options and
come to which one is best. 

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00:23:16,190 --> 00:23:18,600
For you based on. 
What your goals are? 

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00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,440
How you like to learn and just 
you know what what else is 

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00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,840
happening in your life right 
now? 

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But I want to. 
Help you with this. 

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You do not have to do this 
alone. 

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You can actually do it better 
and faster and have a lot more 

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00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,200
fun with it. 
When you get some support, if 

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00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,360
you like, there's enough you 
have to figure out on your own. 

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00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,640
And why not? 
Come into this program and you 

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00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,910
can. 
Get support that's already 

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00:23:46,910 --> 00:23:50,550
provided and designed. 
To to like help you get to where

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00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:53,030
you want to be. 
So that is what I wanted to 

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00:23:53,030 --> 00:23:56,430
share with you today. 
Thank you so much for listening.

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00:23:56,430 --> 00:23:59,350
I'm so glad you're. 
Here and I will talk to you next

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00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:06,510
time. 
Hey, before you go, if you like 

384
00:24:06,510 --> 00:24:11,750
this podcast, leave a review. 
Tell me why you listen and what 

385
00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:12,630
has. 
Helped you. 

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00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,200
Thanks so much. 
I'll see you next time.