Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome today.
I want to talk with you about the problem with trying to solve
problems. And before we do, I want to
share a comment from one of my students.
She said, Kim helped to elevate my leadership skills and is a
wonderful coach and educator her management course, was a journey
of inspiration and motivation. Nation.
I came out of it with actionable items and new leadership skills.
I will use a daily and I wanted to share that because as a
teacher and as a coach that is one of the most satisfying kinds
of feedback. I get from my students that
people leave feeling inspired and that they know what to do.
And they feel like they are equipped to take actionable
practical steps with Whatever is coming up for them on a daily
basis. And that brings us to our topic
for today, which is the problem with trying to solve problems.
And this shows up a lot with my students who are making the
transition from Individual contributor to a manager and
Leadership role. Because as an individual
contributor often, the job is, there's a Their point of focus.
A particular kind of problem. Your job is to solve it.
But as you grow into a manager or leadership role that is no
longer your job and part of the reason why is because the kinds
of questions you're now dealing with become more complex.
And also just as a very practical, very candid
perspective. What worked in the past, might
not work now because the world is very tumultuous and a lot of
you might be managing for the first time and doing this at
home doing this without having the same level, or the same
accessibility or the same kind of communication available to
you. Because now everything Has to be
through a video call or through a phone call.
There's a lot that can't just happen through in-person
conversation and communication and you know, communication is
something that humans tend to struggle to do.
Well. Anyways, now that we are further
restrained in the ways that we can communicate a lot of the
things that were difficult, that becomes even, Even more
Amplified, the good news is that it means that as you decide to
focus on improving your communication skills, and that
does include listening, by the way.
It's not just about the information or direction that
you direct towards someone. It is also about your ability to
receive and perceive and understand what it is that they
are offering to you. Through the way that you listen,
so, as you start to get better at that at communication, it
will help you in so many different kinds of ways.
It will help you to build trust with people.
It will help you to understand what's happening at a bigger
picture because people are opening up to you and telling
you more of what's going on. It also eliminates.
It's confusion and misunderstandings and
interpersonal conflict when we communicate well, and when we
are eliminating those things. We can work so much more easily
together. We can perform at a higher
level. We waste less time.
We waste less energy. So I'm a big fan of
communication and whatever you need to do in order to improve
and to develop your skill around it.
This is definitely a time when we need you to be good and
confident and effective in your communication style.
And as you know, I mean everybody is learning.
How to do this and we're continuing to learn what this
means and how this works. Now, that work is sort of
different because of covid and shelter in place, but the skill
is something that you will use forever.
Now, going back to this big picture of the problem with
trying to solve problems, is what can happen.
When you are a manager. Is, it's very easy to get caught
in the weeds, wanting to get over-involved and either
micromanage things. Where you Have a very specific
idea of what needs to happen and how it needs to happen.
And it has to be your way. So you might have a tendency to
become over controlling and I haven't met anybody yet who
loves a micromanager. So beware.
That's a pitfall that can happen.
The other thing that happens. If you are trying to solve all
of the problems is it can bring you into a place of trying to
oversimplify Like you will want to look for this, the most
simple solution, and what that can turn into is it can turn
into blame right? Like the problem is that person
or that department? And the blame perspective is
actually very unhelpful. Yes.
It's helpful to have the ability to evaluate and understand the
relationship and to understand all of the different things that
happen in the course. Generating a problem, but it
becomes so easy and it becomes even more problematic to slip
into this place of blame where, you know, the problem is you or
the problem is this team, or the problem is that department?
Or the problem is when we start to put that blame out towards
others, that gets in the way of actually moving forward.
The other thing that can happen is the mindset of if only things
were different. If only.
Things were different. If only this person had not
dropped the ball. If only, we had more time.
If only we had the budget, if only these people were reliable
and followed through. If only, we were not in covid
right now, like there are lots of different things.
You can look to to say, oh my gosh, if only things were
different and that is also not a really helpful place.
Go and I think that because things are still so challenging
and people are getting fatiguing.
I know that in my world. There's been a lot of expression
of clash. Like I just wish it would go
away. I just wish that we could get
back to how things used to be. Especially right now, as I'm
recording this. We're just beginning to move
into the school year. So My people with kids, my
family, there's a my my Not my step sister.
My sister-in-law is an elementary school teacher like
her world is totally upside down and we're all tired.
Right? And so this feeling of like
gosh, if only, we could just make covid go away so that we
could have childcare and regular schools when we go into that
perspective, when we're faced with a problem that also doesn't
help us to move forward and especially when you're in a
leadership role when people are looking to You for guidance,
when people are looking to you to set the tone trying to move
quickly to solve problems, can really just create this tangle
of unhelpful, blame, and Nostalgia, and frustration.
And you yourself might feel pain because you really want to solve
this problem. Because you care so much and
that frustration, and irritation and pain that you feel, you will
end up taking that out on other people.
You won't mean to write, you want to do this intentionally,
but what happens is you will have less patience less
curiosity, less energy. You will just be more fatigued
and easier to lash out at others when you are in that state.
So, I want to offer you this, as a perspective of what will be
helpful, instead. Number one, you are going to
need curiosity. That just means I want you to
slow down. So, rather than trying to
respond right away to solve a problem.
I want you to slow down for a minute.
Take a breath. Get curious.
And that Curiosity might bring you to a broader perspective.
What's the big picture here or it might bring you to a more
granular perspective. What specifically is the issue
here? But just take that moment to
pause and to be curious before you try to chase down and
resolve and get in the Weeds on every problem.
Another thing that you will need you will need.
It to be comfortable with the unknown.
And you will need to be comfortable with the
uncomfortableness. It is uncomfortable to face a
problem and not know how to fix it.
Especially if you are a solutions-oriented person.
And you have done a really good job, all of your life of
pointing out problems and fixing them.
This is really going to challenge you.
It's going to feel uncomfortable and it's going to just really
make you not want, not want to feel it, but it will become
important because your ability to be uncomfortable.
And to be okay, with that means that you can stay patient.
You can stay curious. And really importantly, you also
become this calm force. And this very stable presence
for your team. For those who are looking to you
for guidance. One way to think of it, is that
if someone comes to you with something that is difficult.
That is a problem, which gives you a greater sense of feeling
like you're in this leadership role one is to respond quickly
and phonetically and just like, oh, let me do it or I'll just
tell you exactly what to do, right?
That's one possibility is to get micromanage e and reactive.
another is to say some to Simply say, I'm so glad you are
bringing this up. I'm glad that we're talking
about this in this exact moment. I do not have an answer for you.
Let's see what we can do. Staying calm being honest.
You don't have to pretend to have an answer.
Just saying what's to in the moment appreciating that they're
raising it taking a breath. Let's figure this out.
I think that now more than ever, we all want someone to hold that
sense of calm confident. We will find a way.
And that brings us to my last point, which is you are going to
need your curiosity. Because everything, our
curiosity, you're going to need your creativity.
They go hand in hand. So you need your creativity
because the thing is that were available solutions to you in
the past might not be available right now.
So when you stay calm, when you get curious, when you're okay
with the discomfort. Part of the unknown.
Then you begin to access your creativity.
What else is available here? How else can we?
Look at this? Who else could I possibly talk
to that? Might have an idea around.
This, what question have we not asked?
That might really help. When you are in that state of
being more calm and curious, you are able to tap into your
creative thinking, ability and creativity is amazing.
It's incredibly incredibly helpful, especially when you are
facing problems and challenges that you have never faced
before. So I want to leave you with
this. You will continue to be faced
with problems that are complex and Frustrating and you are
going to want to just solve them and you will try to find the
most reductive simplest path. And that is not always the most
helpful approach, one alternative.
I want you to just slow down for a moment.
Take a breath. Get curious.
Feel comfortable with whatever is happening or not happening
and begin to access your creativity.
I hope this has been helpful for you.
If you have a like this podcast episode, please leave a review
or send me a note. I am on LinkedIn and I love
hearing from your for my audience and my listeners and
it's always great to know how this is being helpful for you.
You are bringing so much to your workplace into the people who
look to you for guidance. I know things.
Not easy, but I also know that we can do this.
I just deeply believe that this is such an incredible
opportunity to bring a lot of good and a lot of help and a lot
of support into our organizations and to our
customers and you do that exactly where you are in your
organization. The most powerful seat in any
organization is the one you're sitting in, because that's where
you have the ability to influence those around you.
You okay? Thank you so much for listening.
I'll see you next time. Do you want personal
confidential help with your situation at work?
I offer one-on-one coaching and can help you overcome challenges
reach your goals and become a more effective leader to
schedule a consult. Go to my website, Kim nickel.com
coaching and we'll schedule time to talk about.
About what's going on with you and how I can help.
Talk to you soon.