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Welcome to the New Manager 
Podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim Nicol. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here, and I hope
you're doing well. 

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The inspiration for today's 
episode comes from something 

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that happened a week or so ago, 
and if you follow me on 

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LinkedIn, you might already know
this story. 

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You might have been a part of 
this story because earlier this 

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month I decided to host an audio
event on LinkedIn, and I 

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scheduled the event. 
I invited a bunch of people, you

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know, RSVP D that they would 
come. 

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I planned the content. 
I had everything ready to go. 

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And on the day of the event, I, 
you know, I started, I turned on

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the the microphone. 
I opened up the audio room, and 

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I started giving my talk. 
And about 20 minutes in, I 

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realized that no one could hear 
me. 

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I had been talking to myself the
entire time. 

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And I felt this sinking feeling,
this feeling of Oh my gosh, 

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people have been waiting. 
People have been coming and 

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leaving and coming and leaving 
and I finally understood why 

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people were trying to figure out
how to get the audio on. 

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Because the of the how the 
platform works, you can't 

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communicate to the host. 
Like it's really tricky to 

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communicate to the host when the
event is happening. 

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So people were commenting on 
this other section of the page 

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that I didn't see until I 
clicked out and refresh the page

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and then started to see all of 
these comments. 

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I can't hear can anybody hear 
her It you know the green light 

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said that I was going live, but 
there was one other setting that

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I had overlooked that I didn't 
realize it was the one where you

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select your audio source and it 
was set to a default and I had I

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needed to change that to the 
actual microphone I was using 

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and I didn't know that because 
it was the first time using the 

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platform. 
So the 1st 20 minutes of this 

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one hour, you know, talk. 
I was really doing a great job. 

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I had so much to share. 
I was doing such a great job and

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I was feeling really good. 
And when I realized that in fact

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no one could hear me, it felt 
terrible. 

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And I wanted to share this story
with you for a couple of 

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reasons. 
Because there are going to be 

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times where you feel like you 
have failed. 

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In that moment, I felt like a 
failure. 

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I thought I totally failed this.
This was the one thing is that 

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people needed to hear me and 
they can't hear me like, oh, 

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this is not, this is not 
working. 

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And this. 
The other hard part about it was

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it felt really public. 
It was in front of a bunch of 

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people, some of whom I knew but 
some of whom I didn't or whom I 

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didn't know very well. 
So there was also this feeling 

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of being seen not doing a great 
job at something and not doing a

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great job at something that I 
really care about. 

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And the point is and the big 
kind of aha that came from that 

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experience that I want to share 
with you is that you are going 

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to have these fails, you are 
going to mess up sometimes, 

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especially when you're doing 
something new. 

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And the point is not to avoid 
failure at all costs. 

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The point of your career and 
your work life is not to avoid 

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messing up all the time. 
In fact, you want to realize 

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that sometimes you will mess up,
sometimes you will overlook 

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something. 
Sometimes you will not know how 

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a system works or how a tool 
works, and you won't figure that

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out until you're in front of 
other people. 

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And it's a lot. 
You know, a live situation and 

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then the thing breaks. 
Or then the thing you know, the 

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the the overlook reveals itself 
in that moment. 

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And the reason why you want to 
expect, you want to anticipate. 

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OK, Even if I prepare, even if I
care a lot, even if I think I've

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thought of everything, sometimes
I'm going to mess up. 

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When you understand that is a 
part of the process, especially 

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when you're doing something new,
you will still feel bad, right? 

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'cause I'm not, you know, it 
just feels bad when you realize,

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Oh my gosh, this is not what I 
wanted. 

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And yet it is happening right 
now and I feel kind of 

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embarrassed or I just, I feel 
bad about this. 

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You'll still have that feeling, 
that sense of I feel bad about 

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this, but it won't hold you back
from continuing to learn and 

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grow. 
Because the scary thing, the 

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worst thing, is if you have this
bad experience and you think, 

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well, I messed up or I failed at
that, therefore I will never try

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something new again. 
I will never extend myself 

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again. 
I will say no to new 

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opportunities. 
I will say no to new tools. 

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I will say no to anything that 
is new or different because I'm 

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afraid that I will fail at it. 
I'm afraid of what people will 

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think if they see me being bad 
at something or not having it 

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all together. 
The worst thing you can do is 

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make yourself smaller, make your
career smaller and make your 

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your work life smaller from a 
place of fear, right? 

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Like, it's really different to 
choose something small because 

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you're like, oh, that's cozy. 
You know, like, I don't want 

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this really big thing. 
I actually want this small, cozy

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thing. 
Like when we do it from that 

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place of intention and comfort 
and security and confidence, 

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that's really different. 
But when we choose to stay small

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because we are afraid that we 
will not be capable or we are 

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afraid of messing up in front of
other people, that's totally 

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optional. 
And why I want to invite you to 

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is to notice, you know what the 
effect of that is, especially 

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long term. 
So instead of making yourself 

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smaller to avoid the possibility
of failure or the possibility of

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messing up, instead take this 
perspective of yes, sometimes I 

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will mess up, sometimes it will 
feel like I'm failing. 

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You know, learning feels like 
failing sometimes, you know. 

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That's how we learn. 
It is iterative. 

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We try things, and then we learn
from what works and we learn 

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from what doesn't. 
If everything worked perfectly 

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all the time, number one, that 
would get really boring really 

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fast, and #2 the learning would 
go down. 

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There's less to learn when 
everything goes right all of the

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time. 
So, you know, consider the 

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possibility that messing up, 
making mistakes, having fails is

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not a problem. 
It's part of the process. 

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The scary part, the hard part, 
is that the further you go in 

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your career, the more visible 
you become. 

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Especially as a leader. 
There are more people looking to

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you that can feel like pressure.
And sometimes the type of fails 

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that we are worried about are 
not just for ourselves but for 

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those who depend upon us. 
So it's important to build your 

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recovery ability when you know 
when you have a misstep or when 

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you have a fail to feel the 
discomfort and then as quickly 

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as you can get to the place of 
OK. 

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Was this a worthy fail? 
Was this a quality mistake? 

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For me personally, careless 
mistakes drive me nuts because 

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they seem so avoidable. 
Like, I don't like careless 

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mistakes. 
I like to bring care and 

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attention and tend to things. 
If it's something that happens 

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because it's something that was 
outside of your control or you 

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were new and so you just didn't 
know what you didn't know. 

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It wasn't carelessness. 
It was just like, oh, I 

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actually, I didn't know. 
That's how it worked. 

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That's the kind of feel that we 
can really learn a lot from and 

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even with, I will say even with 
the careless fails, when it's 

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something that goes off and it's
from this place of being 

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careless, there can also be 
great learning in that it's 

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like, why did I make this 
careless mistake? 

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Is it because I am completely 
exhausted? 

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Have I been overworking and 
under resourced? 

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Is that what's going on? 
Is it careless because my 

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priority and attention was 
focused on this other thing 

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instead? 
Was it careless? 

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You know, a careless mistake? 
Because I just don't like, 

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literally don't care about this 
thing? 

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And does that mean, is that a 
sign that I actually need to 

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divest myself from this project 
or delegate it or really be 

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honest with myself and what I am
agreeing to do? 

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I don't want to say yes to 
something and then be careless 

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about it. 
So even then, the ones that feel

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most frustrating to me, there's 
still levels of learning. 

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There's still information that 
is valuable to have even in 

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those moments. 
So holding this perspective of 

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the fails themselves are not the
problem. 

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And messing up is not a problem.
It's part of the process of 

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learning and growth. 
There's a lot of value when we 

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take the time to learn from 
them. 

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There's no need to beat up on 
yourself about it, and that's 

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really hard. 
If you have kind of a 

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perfectionism standard or if you
are underrepresented in your 

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workplace or in your industry. 
There can be extra pressure to 

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feel like there's not as much 
grace given to you, like you're 

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under greater scrutiny. 
The standard is higher for you 

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because you are the only one 
like you in your current 

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workplace or in your industry, 
so it can be difficult. 

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It can be really uncomfortable 
to make the space and to have 

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the compassion for yourself. 
To say, OK, this was a worthy 

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fail, this was a quality 
mistake. 

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There is something here that I 
can learn and I'm not going to 

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further punish myself by making 
myself smaller, by shrinking 

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myself away from opportunities 
to grow or from, you know, 

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holding myself back from new 
opportunities. 

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We want to acknowledge what's 
going on and then use it to 

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continue forward. 
And this brings me to this other

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kind of related topic, which is 
in the workplace and throughout 

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your career, there will be times
when you will really question, 

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you know, how am I doing. 
This is really hard. 

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Is this worth it? 
Am I doing a good job? 

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There will be times that come up
and sometimes, you know, we we 

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tend to take that really 
personally. 

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Like, oh, not just I failed at 
this, but like I am a failure. 

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And now everybody knows. 
But instead of going down that 

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path, I want you to ask 
yourself, like, how much of this

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is about me as a person versus 
how much of this is a process 

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issue? 
Is there something that we need 

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to change or something that's 
happening in the in the process 

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of this work that contributed to
this outcome? 

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Right. 
Let's look at this not just as a

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personal issue, but what can we 
learn if we look at it as a 

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process issue? 
That's one perspective shift and

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then the other perspective is we
pull back even more and we look 

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at the environment and the 
systems that are influencing all

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the other aspects here. 
Because sometimes what's 

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actually going on, it's like you
as an individual are simply a 

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symptom like you're 
demonstrating or kind of showing

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what the the missing, you know, 
component is or it it's kind of 

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like the failure exhibits itself
through individual people. 

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But the real issue is actually 
an environmental issue or a 

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systems level issue. 
And that becomes really helpful 

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because it allows us to place 
our attention and effort in a 

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more accurate way. 
It's kind of like if you know 

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the outcome isn't working 
because actually let me think of

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it this way. 
It's like, so if I went live on 

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this audio platform and the 
audio didn't work, but I didn't 

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understand that because the only
signal I got was I got the green

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light on the screen That said, 
hey, all is good, you're 

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streaming, then we can look at 
that as like a process or 

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systems level. 
When we look at it as, oh if 

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someone is going live for the 
first time, what do they need to

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know? 
Maybe we need to create a better

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explainer or a better host 
checklist so that whoever is 

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hosting knows, hey, you know, 
check your audio source that's 

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going to be here under this 
unmarked carrot and you wouldn't

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even know that you could choose 
an audio source if you've never 

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done this before. 
It's kind of like that 

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difference between, oh, you 
know, I like I failed to do the 

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thing versus oh, we can make it 
easier for new folks to 

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understand. 
Here are all the things you want

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to check before you go live. 
So it's helpful to take that 

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bigger perspective. 
And the last kind of note on 

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this is I want you to consider 
that every job you have, even if

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you're self-employed, even if 
you run your own, you know 

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agency or your own business, 
every job you have is temporary.

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You won't be in it forever. 
At some point, you'll leave. 

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Whether you choose to leave or 
whether something happens and 

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you leave, you know, because of 
a layoff or a workforce 

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reduction or maybe you get 
fired, that could happen. 

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But if we keep in mind that 
every job is temporary, if every

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job is temporary, if we're only 
here for a limited time, then 

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the question that becomes really
important is how do I want to 

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use the time that I have while I
am here? 

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How can I make good use of the 
time I have while I'm here, 

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while I'm here in this seat, 
while I'm here in this role, 

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working with these people, 
serving these people? 

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What do I want to do with the 
time that I have while I am 

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here? 
What do I want to make this 

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about? 
And I want to invite you to make

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this about learning about 
growth, about being willing to 

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do new things to stretch, to 
try. 

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I want to invite you to consider
that you know while you're 

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there, make it good and be 
willing to make mistakes. 

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Be willing to fail sometimes. 
Make the best and the most of 

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what you can while you can, and 
don't beat yourself up about it.

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That's totally optional. 
I hereby release you from any 

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requirement of beating up on 
yourself. 

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You don't have to do that. 
As long as we're here, Let's 

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make it good, OK? 
And sometimes it might feel 

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scary. 
Sometimes we might fail in in a 

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public way or we might feel 
like, you know, oh, this 

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shouldn't be happening. 
Instead of trying to resist it 

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or avoid it, just acknowledge. 
Yeah, sometimes this is going to

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happen and I'm not going to beat
myself up about it. 

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I am going to learn from it. 
I'm going to learn from it so 

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hard. 
It's going to be great. 

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We take a breath and we 
remember. 

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As long as I'm here, I want to 
make good use of my time. 

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I want to make this as good as I
can. 

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Let's keep going. 
So that is what I wanted to 

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share with you today and I want 
to also invite you to come work 

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with me in the new year. 
I have a group program that's 

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going to be kicking off in 
February, so make sure that you 

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get on the wait list to get 
invited to apply to that. 

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And you can also work with me 
one-on-one which you can find 

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out about from my website 
kimnickel.com. 

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I'll put links to both of those 
in the show notes below, but I 

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want to thank you again so much 
for being here for being part of

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my listening community. 
I hope you have a really great 

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day and I will talk to you next 
time. 

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When you're more effective at 
work, you're happier in your 

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life, and when you're happier in
your life, you're more effective

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at work. 
I can help. 

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Go to my website kimnickel.com 
and sign up for a coaching 

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consult. 
It can get better.