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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here. 
I know for some of you you are 

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in a new fiscal year and I want 
to remind you that if that's 

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true then your budget for 
professional development, might 

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have reset and this is a great 
time to have a conversation with

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your manager about your goals 
for the year. 

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What kind of professional 
development? 

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Support you want. 
So you can continue to learn and

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grow to make that conversation a
part of your performance review 

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because it is to your 
organization's benefit that you 

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demonstrate responsibility for 
your career, for your 

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development and growth. 
And the more that you learn, 

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especially when it comes to your
people manager skills. 

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The better that is for your 
organization as well as for you.

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So there might be budget That is
just waiting to be applied to 

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support you and your growth. 
Check out courses, check out 

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coaches, check out conferences, 
online and person. 

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There's so much available to you
right now, and of course, if you

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want my help, you can always 
come check out my website, get 

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in touch and we'll talk about 
it. 

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Okay. 
Now, I hope you also listened to

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my last episode. 
With Lawrence Patrick, isn't he 

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amazing? 
He is so smart and so 

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insightful. 
And he, I just love the stories 

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he shared and all of his 
insights about being a people 

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manager about working with 
different personalities, about 

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managing up about really 
trusting yourself. 

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He has had so much to offer and 
I'm so glad you got to hear from

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him. 
Because I really believe that 

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you will you will get so much 
out of that conversation. 

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So if you didn't listen to that,
you know, make sure that you 

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save it and listen to it at some
point because there were a lot 

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of treasures that he shared that
I want you to have. 

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Now, one of the things that came
up in that conversation that I 

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wanted to dedicate some time in 
this episode for was this idea 

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of you know, as an AS As a 
manager, as a person who is 

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working with others, you may 
find yourself in positions where

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you actually don't know what 
you're doing. 

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And I want to offer that this 
happens more often than you 

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realize. 
I know for me for a long time 

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like for many, many years of my 
career, I had this belief that 

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someone who was a manager who 
was in a higher level risk level

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of responsibility in the 
organization, My belief was they

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were in that role because they 
knew what they were doing and 

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what I have come to learn what I
want to tell you is that is not 

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true and Lawrence talked about 
that too. 

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For a lot of reasons you know 
especially if you're in a hyper 

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growth organization, people end 
up in roles where you don't know

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what you're doing and my own 
experience. 

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It's working in large 
organizations you know many 

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years ago. 
The very first time when I was 

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promoted and was managing a team
of people. 

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This wasn't a very large Global 
organization and I had this 

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thought of, oh, great now I'm in
manager and now that I've been 

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promoted and I have a team, you 
know, there's probably some kind

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of manager meeting that I'll get
invited to where people will 

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teach me and tell me what I need
to know in order to be a great 

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people manager. 
And that didn't happen. 

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It was, it was like, you know, 
congratulations on your 

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promotion, here's your title 
change. 

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You know, at the time for me, it
was a very small salary 

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increase. 
It wasn't even a significant 

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change in compensation, but now 
I had 18, people who are 

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reporting to me and it was like,
you know, go do, go do that, go 

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do that, people manager thing 
and there was actually very 

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little a little guidance for me 
on how to do that. 

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You know, I was in that role 
for, I think it was about six 

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months before my company sent me
to a three-day training for 

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managers, and this was just how 
it worked in that organization. 

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I think it was every six months,
they would pull together. 

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Several of the managers, and 
there would be a training. 

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And but, you know, but all of 
the time in between It was just 

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making it up as I went along and
I mention that, because I think 

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this is really common in every 
size organization. 

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So, if you're in a very small 
organization or in a very new 

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one, you may not have the 
infrastructure, you may not have

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the internal function built 
around manager development, so 

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there's a lot of making it up as
you go along. 

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But this also shows up in large 
organizations, because it can be

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really Ali tricky to to kind of 
coordinate the timing of the 

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need of when a person arrives 
into a managerial role and what 

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is the right training or 
development or program for them.

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So I see this as something that 
shows up really in every 

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industry, in every size of 
organization. 

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And I think it's so important to
tell you because you might be 

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like me thinking. 
Oh, Like I I don't actually know

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what I'm doing. 
I just got promoted. 

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I have no idea what I'm doing. 
I thought, I knew what I was 

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doing and now I'm suddenly 
feeling worried, and this is 

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what tends to happen. 
So if you have this thought, I 

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don't know what I'm doing. 
You might freak out, you might 

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fear that other people will find
out. 

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You might fear messing up and 
feel this anxiety. 

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This Realization of. 
Oh my gosh, I actually don't 

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know what I'm doing. 
What if I'm doing it wrong? 

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What if other people find out? 
I don't know what I'm doing. 

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What if they think? 
I'm, you know, they're paying me

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this big salary but I don't 
actually know how to do this. 

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I've never done this before. 
You might think I should know 

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what I'm doing. 
That's a thought kit that can 

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come in. 
You might be in your role for a 

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month or two or three, or five 
and you're still thinking, I've 

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been here for five months, I I 
feel like I still don't know 

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what I'm doing. 
You might also think, you know, 

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being a manager or being a 
leader. 

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That means I'm supposed to know 
what I'm doing. 

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I should have this figured out 
by now and all of that ends up 

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creating a lot of anxiety. 
It becomes intensified, 

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especially in any kind of 
manager, or leadership role 

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because there is higher 
visibility. 

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So, you have your tea, Team 
looking to you, but you also 

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have your manager and upper 
management looking to you to 

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lead and to drive results for 
the collective of people that 

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are within your scope of care. 
So, that higher, visibility 

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creates more intensity creates 
more anxiety. 

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You might also have the thought 
when you're in that headspace 

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of, am I adding value? 
Which is really the thought of, 

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oh, no, I'm not adding value. 
And what if people find out, so,

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all of this creates a feeling of
being overeager of being 

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anxious, a feeling like, you 
need to prove yourself sometimes

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that turns into being 
controlling. 

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So, you know, sometimes 
micromanaging shows up as a 

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result of feeling uncertain and 
I want to kind of pull back a 

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number one, just to normalize. 
But if you find that your head 

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space is is holding those kinds 
of thoughts, and you're having 

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those kinds of feelings. 
Number one, that is normal 

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because what often happens, you 
know, as a human, when we are in

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a new situation. 
So it might be a new role that 

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might be in a new company. 
It might be with a new team 

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that's growing whenever you're 
in a new situation. 

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Your brain is trying to process 
and understand like how what to 

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do with that. 
And your brain is always going 

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to look for certainty because 
that feels like safety. 

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That feels like security and 
uncertainty can feel very 

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anxiety-provoking because that 
feels like Risk feels like 

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something might go wrong and be 
harmful or bad and you can even 

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add to that this other layer of 
if you have had, Experience in 

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the course of being a human at 
work where you really did have 

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this adverse reaction from 
people that you worked with 

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where you were really judged, or
you were sort of undermined or 

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you had this. 
I mean we need to do a whole 

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other conversation on early 
traumatic work experiences, but 

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you might be in a context where 
all of that, you know, the fear 

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that your brain is remember. 
Being from another experience is

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being activated in you all of 
that can come in to play not 

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because you're, you know, trying
to be controlling. 

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But because when the brain 
perceives, like you're not in 

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control and it wants certainty, 
sometimes the way it shows up is

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by trying to control things. 
So I wanted to share all of that

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with you. 
Also like remember too, when 

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we're talking about managers, 
this goes always in a couple 

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directions. 
So this applies to you as a 

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human who has a role as a 
manager or leader in your 

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organization and team, but also 
consider your manager. 

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So if you have a manager and 
they seem to be exerting more 

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control through, being 
micromanage e, it's possible. 

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That the reason why Why is that 
it's coming through their own 

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sense of uncertainty and of 
needing, to prove and of needing

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to try to kind of force an 
outcome. 

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And I mean that's a very 
interesting and different 

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conversation. 
You can have them with your 

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manager. 
So notice just for yourself, if 

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you have this sense of, I don't 
know what I'm doing and you feel

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this feeling of anxiety and kind
of freaking out, you know? 

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Just remember it's Okay, you're 
human. 

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The brain, does this. 
And you know what? 

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If you're actually not supposed 
to know in advance how it's all 

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supposed to work? 
What if what you're going 

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through is normal. 
And what might really help is to

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remember, hey, you might 
actually have an inaccurate 

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sense of the timeline, you might
be under estimating, how long it

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takes to understand the 
landscape that you're working in

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to understand, the existing 
systems to understand the 

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relationships and play. 
Maybe you're actually right on 

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track, maybe being If successful
in managing people is not about 

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having all the information or 
knowing everything and maybe at 

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this stage, what success looks 
like is simply learning, 

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listening, being open and 
curious. 

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And maybe there are ways that 
you can measure how you're being

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successful in each day, that 
will look different than how you

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thought it would look. 
But it's still true and it still

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works. 
And I mention this because I 

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think it's it's really common. 
As we are growing into higher 

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levels of responsibility and 
leadership in our organizations 

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that we have an idea of what it 
will be. 

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Like, you know, this thought of 
oh well if I was managing this 

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team, it would be like this and 
then we arrived there. 

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We get the job or we get the 
promotion or Get the head count 

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and things are actually 
different than how we imagine 

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them to be. 
And if we are really clinging to

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how we thought it would be, that
can interfere with our ability 

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to address. 
What is actually happening in 

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the moment and this might be, 
you know, the organization 

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changes direction or the 
personalities are different than

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what you thought they would be. 
And you find that managing these

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different personalities is is 
more challenging for you than 

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you thought or as in the case of
the entire last 18 months, all 

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of a sudden, you know, your 
onboarding, this team and 

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everyone is remote and you're 
finding yourself challenge to 

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stretch in new ways to create 
connection, to understand what 

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people need to build, trust to 
create clarity. 84 people the 

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way that you do all of that 
might change. 

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It might be different depending 
on what is actually happening. 

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So what I find is that it helps 
to remember to give yourself 

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Grace To Remember, okay? 
This is new. 

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I haven't you know, managed a 
team of this size or I haven't 

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managed a team in this way or I 
haven't. 

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I haven't managed a team in this
organization before to give 

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yourself the grace to understand
that this is a new thing because

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it's new, you're not supposed to
have all of the answers all at 

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once. 
That would actually be kind of 

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weird if you think about it. 
I would be a little unusual and 

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to recast or to reframe your 
thoughts around this as okay in 

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each. 
Day and each moment I can arrive

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and I can decide how do I need 
to be here for my team and if 

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you go back earlier into the 
podcast, I talk more about the 

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to be list which is one of my 
favorite tools, because we often

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get caught up in, what do I need
to do? 

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But if we're focused, instead on
one step back, which is who do I

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need to be the being? 
Well, You always inform the 

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doing and often will allow you 
to be more responsive to the 

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moment without having to create 
a very elaborate kind of 

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imaginary scenario of what 
you'll do which becomes 

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exhausting. 
And then when the world unfolds 

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in an unexpected way, it can 
become really difficult to 

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adapt. 
So I hope this, this, this 

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episode and these ideas are 
helpful to you, you know, being 

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a manager is not always an easy 
thing to do and working with 

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humans. 
And being a human is not always 

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an easy thing to do and it's 
easy to feel that sense of Self 

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Doubt. 
But what I want to offer is that

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you are in this role for a 
reason and I want to say it 

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doesn't even matter if it's a 
good reason. 

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So, you know, you might, you 
might have just simply ended up 

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in that role for a whole host of
reasons and it really doesn't 

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even matter why? 
But in this moment you are in a 

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position to do amazing work with
people. 

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You are in a position to grow as
a person and as a leader with 

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the resources and the situation 
that you have arrived in. 

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And that I think is something 
that we lose sight of, so I want

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you to remember it. 
You have everything you need 

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right now. 
To be a fantastic people manager

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within the organization, you're 
in and to grow and to develop 

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yourself as a person and as a 
leader, and to do that in your 

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own way. 
So if you're feeling anxious, if

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you're thinking, oh my gosh, I 
don't know what I'm doing. 

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Take a breath. 
Give yourself a hug. 

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Give yourself some credit, 
remember, it's okay. 

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Most people don't actually know 
what they're doing. 

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Either that doesn't mean that we
can't do great work together. 

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What if that's just all part of 
the process? 

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Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you have a great rest of 

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your day and I'll see you next 
time. 

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00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,300
Do you want personal 
confidential help with your 

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00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:36,700
situation at work? 
I offer one-on-one coaching and 

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00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:40,900
can help you overcome challenges
reach your goals and become a 

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00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,700
more effective leader to 
schedule a consult. 

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00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:51,000
Go to my website, Kim nickel.com
coaching and we'll schedule time

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00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,800
to talk about what's going on 
with you and how I can help talk

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00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:31,800
to you soon. 
Do you want personal 

262
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,700
confidential help with your 
situation at work? 

263
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,900
I offer one-on-one coaching and 
can help you overcome challenges

264
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:43,500
reach your goals and become a 
more effective leader to 

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00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:47,900
schedule a consult. 
Go to my website, Kim nickel.com

266
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:52,400
coaching and we'll schedule time
to talk about what's going on 

267
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,500
with you and how I can help talk
to you soon.