Welcome to the new manager podcast.
I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here. I hope you're doing well.
And today, we're talking about how to advocate for yourself at
work. This is an important skill that
is sometimes quite difficult to learn how to do.
Because early in your career, so much of the mindset is I have to
figure this out on my own. I have to do this on my own.
I can't ask for help because there isn't help or because I
don't want to come across as not.
Not being able to do this on my own.
So, one of the very first hurdles to learning the skill is
first simply recognizing it as a skill and as something that is
useful, not just Just for you but in your role as a leader and
a manager sometimes you will need to Advocate on behalf of
your team of some you know someone to get promoted that is
on your team that they need your support for there are different
times in the course of your career when having the skill of
advocacy is actually quite important, but we often don't
acknowledge that or even think about it earlier in our career.
So Let's start with just understanding what I mean.
When I say to advocate. I think about it and its most
simple terms like this to Advocate is to speak up for the
benefit of someone. To speak up for the benefit of
someone, that someone can be. You advocating for yourself, it
can be advocating for the client.
Sometimes, in a company, you'll hear this, as you know, what is
the voice of the client? What is the client need?
What is the, what is the? What is the clients perspective
here? It can also be speaking up on
behalf of your team and maybe you need more resources, maybe
you need to hire more people, maybe you need to Advocate for a
different timeline or you need to advocate for why, one project
should be the priority as opposed to a different project.
But you're speaking up for the benefit of someone sometimes,
it's easier to speak up for the benefit of somebody else.
Because you're less attached and you feel more committed to using
your voice to speak up for them. It can be sometimes difficult to
speak up for yourself, especially if you have any kind
of self value, hesitancy, anything call, you know, I
don't, I don't know if I really deserve this.
I don't know if I'm good enough. If you've got your imposter, you
know, voice flaring up, it can be much more difficult because
we didn't tend to be more attached and take things more
personally when it's about us. So, you know, today we're
talking specifically about you because that's where we want to
start and then realizing that this has broader applications at
work. First, I want us to get some
clarity about why we don't advocate for ourselves.
One of the first reasons why we don't advocate for ourselves is
we have a voice inside our head. That says what's the point
What's the point in speaking up? And that's the voice that says,
you know, there's a part of you that just doesn't believe it's
available. It doesn't believe that you'll
get it. It's anticipating the
uselessness of asking. It's almost a little bit of a
learned helplessness. Like if you've learned in the
past that you're not listened to that, you're not believed that
others. Don't prioritize or value your
perspectives or request. Then there's a good chance.
You've internalized this belief and this thought was the point
of asking for something, I'm probably not going to get it,
it's not available. So that's a big one.
Another one is this thought of hey I'm good.
I can do it on my own and I've talked about this before.
This is also that voice of I can do it that turns into over
self-reliance. And one of the related thoughts
to this 2. Can also be the thought of just
be happy, just be happy with what you have.
Don't ask for more, it would be ungrateful to ask for something
else or to ask for something more.
So when you believe that there are just there are no resources
available for you or when you don't know what to ask for,
because you've never really thought.
Doubt what could make this easier?
What could make this more effective?
You haven't thought about what resources to even ask for.
So the default thought is I'm good.
I can do it on my own. And when I was teaching at
General Assembly, this was probably the one I saw the most
often I started teaching in 2017, and I saw, most of my
students did, the research, found the clue.
Class signed up for it in their own time paid for it with their
own money and they would take this class.
It was a 90-minute class at the time because they knew they
wanted to get better at managing people or they knew that even
though they didn't manage anyone.
Now that was the next level that they were aiming for and they
wanted to be prepared. They wanted to skill up in
advance so they could Have more confidence in really promoting
themselves and saying, yeah, here's why I'm ready for this
next level job, their mindset was so in the space of
self-reliance, I'll figure this out on my own that they were
using their own time, and their own money and their own, you
know, research to then, come to a workshop that was going to
benefit their company their organization, and it never even
occurred to them. Them that they could ask for the
cost of the workshop to be reimbursed.
And it was so interesting because, you know, I would, I
would tell my students, I'd say if you're here kind of as a
secret because you haven't told anyone because you're afraid of
what people will think, if you can't do it on your own, let me
offer you a different perspective.
Like let me offer you. The perspective that the fact
you're here means that You take initiative that you are stepping
into a leadership role that you are taking personal and full
responsibility for your professional development.
These are good things you want to Signal this to your manager
and tell them that you're doing this and you want to ask what's
available for reimbursing. You for the cost of being here,
we'll talk more about that later but it when I realized that so
many of My students it was just a bit of a blind spot.
They hadn't realized yet that it's okay to ask for a benefit
on behalf of yourself. It just it was just like a room
in the house of their mind that had not yet been illuminated,
they didn't know it was there. Okay, so once you have a sense
of I know that I can ask for something.
The reason why we don't is because of the thought That I
don't know how there's a fear of doing it wrong.
If I asked in the wrong way there's a feeling of desire to
avoid confrontation or discomfort.
You might have a lack of confidence.
You just don't have a mental map for how to make the ask and what
all of these thoughts have in common.
What's the point? I'm good.
I don't, I don't need help or I don't know how to advocate for
myself. When we use those as reasons to
not speak up, we're really doing is we're playing it safe.
And the internal logic of that sounds kind of like, you know,
if I don't ask then they won't say no, I won't feel bad, I
won't feel disappointed, I won't feel awkward, I won't have to
risk the relationship. You know, if I make an ask and
they think that I'm somehow not good enough, because I need the
extra help, like it's just a way of wanting to be safe, but What
ends up happening is that you cut yourself off from growth
because it requires growth to develop the thinking and the
skill of making the ask and it cuts you off from all of these
other resources, that could be available to you.
If only you spoke up on behalf of yourself, The other place I
see this play out at work is that when you are a people
manager and you have someone on your team who is ready for
promotion, you will need to advocate for that person to be
promoted and sometimes it becomes a bit competitive.
Because other people managers may also be advocating for their
person to be promoted into that spot.
So you might have Have 10 people who are up for promotion.
There may only be three spots available or seven spots
available. So every manager will have to
make the case to advocate for the benefit of this person for
why they are the ones who should Advance forward.
Now, the good news about all of this is that it really is the
way that you're thinking that holds you back from advocacy
from advocating. For yourself for advocating for
others. It's really just the way that
you're seeing the landscape and the way that you're thinking
about it. So I want to offer you now, some
other ways to think about this, to make it easier to step up and
use your voice for the benefit of yourself or for somebody
else. Here are some ways to think
about it. Remember that you're not a
little kid asking for something from a grown-up.
What you're actually doing is, you're showing up as a partner,
you're taking initiative to improve and you're coming with a
solution. So, especially in the context of
professional development. When you go to your manager and
say, hey I found a coach, I want to work with they're going to
help me with these things. What you're doing is you're not
a little kid saying hey you know, is it okay if I have this
What you're doing is you're saying, hey, I'm taking control
of my professional development. I found a solution.
How do we make this happen? How can we do this?
What's available? And this is kind of tricky,
because for most of our life, especially, you know, when we
arrive on the planet and where these tiny infants and we grow
into children, and for all of that child, living years, most
of our experience in making a request, Next is from a position
where it feels like we have much less power.
And we're trying to learn like, how do I ask for things in the
way that I am most likely to get them?
So that pattern and that pattern of thinking, you have a lot more
experience with that. So it makes a lot of sense.
If you feel that little kid part of you activate, whenever you
start thinking about, how am I going to Advocate for myself.
So just remember you're not asking in the role of being a
child or a little kid. You're really showing up as a
partner. You're demonstrating initiative
and you're bringing a solution. These are good things.
Here's another thought, I'm taking responsibility for my
professional development. So my manager doesn't have to
think about it from the perspective of your manager.
When you come to a conversation with them and you say, hey I
have identified some professional development that I
want your manager does not have to think about what professional
development does. This person need, they don't
necessarily have the time and they mate might not know,
because part of what drives your professional development is what
you want, where you want to improve, what your particular.
Ambition and desire is. So if you have a desire to do
more presenting, if you want to be a thought leader on stage at
your industry events. If you want to step into higher
levels of mentoring and Leadership, you might want for
example to improve your public speaking skills.
Your manager may not understand that that's something that you
want, or that? That's something you feel
insecure about you. Ask for that.
You can initiate that conversation when you're
thinking about your professional development, that means that
your manager does not have to do all of that work to figure out
what is the next step for you. They probably don't know.
They might not have the time, I know that when I was a people
manager I had over a dozen people on my team.
I did not know what they all wanted.
So, if someone came to me and said, hey, there's a conference,
I want to go to there's a A workshop.
I want to take that was a much easier conversation to have been
if I could support them, I was happy to do.
So I would add especially in a pandemic time.
A lot of organizations are understanding that people want
and need more support in professional development and how
to handle change and how to manage remote teams simply and
how You know how to confront and deal with all of the challenges
that we're facing as people and if it makes you happy and keeps
you effective, then that is a great deal for them and if you
initiate that conversation even better, okay.
Here's another thought that I want to offer you about how to
get yourself to a place where you're comfortable advocating
for yourself. Think of it like this, here's
why. This is a great Good idea.
And I thought through how this will benefit, the team, the
organization, how it will benefit the client when you
think through what are the benefits to other people.
Not just you, then you tap into the part of your brain, that is
more comfortable advocating for others.
Because you realize, I'm not doing this.
Just for me when I get better at this skill, when I develop in
this way, this will be beneficial to the The people I
work with to the clients. We serve to the goals of the
organization. I'm thinking of a client.
I recently spoke with, and she took my workshop at general
assembly in 2017 or 2018. At the time, she was a new
manager in a new organization. And she just wanted to get
established in the fundamentals and really prepare herself for
this new, this new role. During the workshop, she took
photos of the Whiteboard work that we did.
I do a lot of back in the day when we were doing all these
workshops in person, we would do a lot of ideation and a lot of
our work on the whiteboard in the room.
And she took photos of those notes.
And I talked to her, this is now four or five years later, she is
now a VP in her organization. And she told me that she still
All goes back from time to time and references those notes.
And it blew my mind and I thought the professional
development that she did four or five years ago has continued to
benefit her company and her team and the clients they serve all
of this time because she is made such good use of that resource.
So when you think about, why am I going to advocate for myself?
It's because it's good, not just for you, but the benefit extends
to your manager, to your team, to the organization as a whole
to the clients that you serve to the goals and objectives.
Think about it in those terms as well.
Makes the conversation a lot easier.
One more idea, there may already be a budget allocated for
professional development, and if it's not used, that's a problem.
When budget is allocated, for a particular use, it needs to be
used for that use. If you come to your manager, or
if you come to your people operations partner, Or like
however it's called in your organization and you say hey
what is our professional development budget?
Look like right now I have found a coach I want to work with, I
have found a workshop. I want to take I have found a
course. I would like to take.
Do we have budget for that? You might be helping this person
out. They might be thrilled that you
have brought them the perfect way to direct that budget.
You don't know that they might just be thrilled that you're
coming to them with this asked to think about it in those terms
as well. Okay, we talked about this a
little bit, but I'm going to say it in a slightly different way.
So when you develop your skills and your mindset, when you
become better because you've been taking time for your own
professional development, The benefit extends, not just to you
to your manager, your team, your organization.
Think about it this way, your organization pays you a certain
amount of money to do the work that you do when you get more
skilled, when you level up your thinking and become more
effective, they're paying you the same salary but they're
getting a more skilled. You like, you are becoming a
more or effective. More highly skilled person for
the same amount of money that they're paying you.
So, it plays out in their favor when you think of it in those
terms as well. And then, the last thought I
want to offer is the point of growing into leadership is not
about being perfect. It's about self-awareness and
continuous growth. So this is for you.
If you are a perfectionist, if you feel guarded about how you
are perceived, and your thought is, if I asked for this, it will
mean. I am not good enough.
It will mean, there is something wrong with me.
That is an incorrect thought that is not a helpful thought
and I That I argue that is that is not the perspective that you
want to take on. You can take off that
perspective like you're taking off a coat and instead put on
this perspective, which is as you grow in your career and in
your responsibility, it is all about the self.
Awareness of, where do you need to grow?
And what skills do you need now, remembering to that your
awareness of the skills. You need may change as the stage
of your company changes as the situation and circumstances.
Change. For example, I had a student who
was working in a high-growth startup, and she was just
stepping into a role as a people manager because the company was
growing. They were hiring a lot of people
and now she had a team of three, and they were anticipating
hiring four or five more. In the course of the year.
She realized, hey I've never managed people before.
This is something I want to learn to get good at and if I
learn how to get good at it, now when I have three people that
will set me up to be better and more effective as we're bringing
more and more people on this year.
But up until this point in her career, she didn't need that
skill, set, like she did now. So when you think about About
advocating for yourself around professional development and
budget, or resources for that. Remember that?
This is a positive signal. That's pointing to your
self-awareness, you're taking responsibility and the
continuous growth of yourself within the organization.
So once you get into a mindset where you start to think, oh
yeah I can see why it makes a lot of Sense to advocate for
myself and I want to there's now something I do want to ask for
then I want us to think a little bit about how you're going to
communicate this. And there are really just three
things to think about. Number one, make it easy for
them to say yes. And that means do the research
ahead of time and do the thinking about why this is going
to be beneficial also think through what the Questions or
concerns are that your boss or that the person you're asking
the approval of what are the questions that they might have?
So, if it's your manager, they might be concerned about.
Well, how much time will this take?
Will you still be able to handle your current workload?
Or will it be too much? Because I don't want you to burn
out or to get overwhelmed so they might have questions about
time. They might have questions about
the money. If this is a person who is in
charge of budget, who In charge of finances, they're going to
want to know how much is this going to cost and is it worth
it? This is where it's really
helpful to have thought through and explain.
This is what it costs. And yeah, it's definitely worth
it in. Here's why or here's why?
Out of all of the other options. This is the most cost-effective
one and being able to explain that clearly or how when I get
better at this, this will make it a lot more likely.
That is soon as people get on-boarded, I can help get them
up to speed quickly which saves US money and get them active and
contributing in a much faster way.
So thinking through the questions and concerns they have
make it easy for them to say yes to the second thing you can
think about around communicating.
This is make it part of your professional development plan.
So, whenever your review cycle is in the course of Year include
your professional development as part of that conversation.
You can also do this seasonally anytime we move through a
quarter or through a season, you can re-evaluate.
What are the skills? I'm noticing, I really want to
develop. What do I want to level up in?
Where do I need to improve again?
Not because you're being hard on yourself but because you're
realizing. Okay.
I have some new awareness. I want to get better.
At having difficult conversations, I'm going to find
a way to get better at that because I know that will help
me. Oh, I need to get better at
having confidence when I'm presenting to high level folks
on the team, right? Like thinking through what is it
that you want to develop and start making that?
A regular part of your conversation?
It signals your desire for growth.
It demonstrates self-awareness, and Leadership.
It shows that you're thinking strategically Are all good
things. And the third way you can think
about this, is to choose an area of development for yourself at
each stage. So if you think about what stage
you're at, in your career, you can start thinking in terms of
what is the area of development that you want to improve.
It might be technical, it might be relational.
That might be around communication.
But thinking in those terms, Keeps that the the relevance of
what you want and why? And I will tell you also that
the students that I've coached on this who have successfully
had their companies pay for their either pay for their
coaching with me or paid for the workshop.
They took those years ago, this was true of clients and students
who worked in small companies that did not yet have formal.
Policies around professional development budget.
And also, for companies that did have allocated learning stipends
for the year. So I'm saying this, because if
you're thinking to yourself, well that must be nice for big
companies with big budgets, but I work for a small company and
we don't even have an HR person. Alright, you might be in a
really early stage organization and what is so cool is that when
you are the person who initiates this conversation That is also
not good for you. That is good for your whole
company with one of my students, she said yeah, I work for this.
It's, you know, high-growth startup and we don't even have a
policy on professional development and I said, well, it
sounds like you're the one who's going to initiate that
conversation and she thought, oh, I guess I am.
And what's amazing is that she did she brought this up to the
CEO. She said, okay, look, we're now
at the stage of growth I'm seeing this opportunity.
Here's how I propose. We go about addressing it and
that conversation not only did the CEO agree to pay for the
cost of this program that she wanted to do but it also opened
the conversation to its time. Now in our company's growth to
think about what is our policy on professional development.
And as a Result. They ended up deciding to Grant
a learning stipend of $1000 to every employee.
So in that case, her advocating for herself, turned into a
benefit that ended up affecting everyone in the company and that
also initiated a conversation of higher-level thinking around.
We're at the stage now. Arts time for us to put
something like this into place. So be not discouraged if you
think it's doesn't apply to you, I don't care what organization
you're in but this is a conversation that you can bring
and you can initiate positive outcomes in ways you might not
even realize. So here's a structure for what
it might sound like to ask. I'll read it through once and
then I'll point out the three key elements within this
framework. So the conversation might sound
like this, I found a coach, I want to work on with my
leadership and people management skills.
I think it will help me to give more specific and timely
feedback and lead the team through the stage of growth,
especially given the hiring that we're anticipating, and all of
the change that's happening with the team.
What's a professional budget development?
Look like right. Now what it covers summer, all
of the cost? So here's what was included in
that. I found a coach.
I want to work with work with on this specific skill.
So identify the skill. The thing it is that you want to
get better at, whether its leadership, skills, speaking
skills, communication skills, delegation skills.
I found someone or I found a resource that I want to work
with on this skill. I think it will help me get this
result. What is that?
Outcome that you want to gain from this professional
development especially given the situational relevance.
If you can connect your request with situational relevance, in
other words, why? Now, how come now is why you're
looking for this? How does this help the
organization? Now, how does this help?
Up, you be more effective. Now, identify the situational
relevance and when you pray, like come to the conversation
with that, this is the skill, I want, this is the result or the
outcome, it will get me. This is the situational
relevance for y. Now, this is important.
That makes it a lot easier for your manager to say, yes, They
also want you to succeed, they want your organization to
succeed. They want things to happen in a
more effective and easy way. So when you lead with that and
then you ask what is our professional development budget?
Look like and then asking like what our budget cover some or
all of the cost because remember you can make the ask and even if
they say, well, we can't cover all of that, but we can cover
half of that, or we can Cover some of that that is still a
win. So, the final thoughts on this
topic, I want to share with you our, as you're thinking about
advocacy, and how to use your voice to speak up on behalf of
yourself and others, let it be easy.
Identify? What is the thought that's
holding you back and see if you can find an alternative thought
that you can connect with, that makes it Easier for you to move
forward. Remember that?
This is a skill advocacy. Speaking up making a request,
this is a skill and that means that you will improve with
practice. You will get more comfortable,
and confident, and this is a good thing.
So it's okay, if it feels awkward at first.
It's worth it to learn the skill of advocacy because the lifetime
value of advocating for yourself and others is beyond measure.
And when you are willing to speak up for the benefit of
yourself and for others, you become a role model.
And that's what leaders do, lead the way when you speak up, For
yourself and others and others. See you do this, you become a
role model who inspires them to do this as well.
So those are the thoughts I wanted to share with you today.
Do find something that you want to advocate for on behalf of
yourself or somebody else especially professional
development. There's never been a better time
and there is no I've never been a greater need.
You don't have to do this alone. All right.
That's what I have for you. I will talk to you again next
time when you're more effective at work, you're happier in your
life and when you're happier in your life you're more effective
at work. I can help go to my website.
Kim nickel.com and sign up for a coaching consult, it can get
better.