1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:16,300 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. 3 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:19,900 I'm glad you're here, and I hope you're doing well today. 4 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:24,700 I wanted to start by reminding you of how important it is to 5 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:29,300 surround yourself with people who believe in you. 6 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:33,000 And I know we tend to do this through our friends and our 7 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,100 family, but especially in the context of work, it becomes 8 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:43,600 really interesting when you start to have, have people who 9 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:50,400 are similar to the level of work that you're doing and they do 10 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,700 not work in your same organization. 11 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:59,700 And the reason why this is so valuable is because when you are 12 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:02,700 talking about the challenges you're dealing with that work 13 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:08,000 when they're not also in that same environment, they see 14 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,100 things very differently, they see you. 15 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,100 Differently so they can't just agree and say yeah. 16 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:19,200 So I know that that one person is so difficult or I don't know 17 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,000 what senior leadership is doing or yeah. 18 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,800 Things have been kind of tense at work lately. 19 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,700 They can't get into that agreement with you. 20 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000 Instead. What happens is, they'll see 21 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,800 things from a different perspective. 22 00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:36,300 They'll see you through a different perspective. 23 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:41,400 And as a result of that conversation, you begin to get A 24 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:47,700 different perspective on yourself on your options on. 25 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:51,400 Also, the things that you're doing incredibly well, I often 26 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:56,400 find, it's so easy to overlook your strengths, your unique 27 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:01,000 qualities and skills, especially if you're in an organization or 28 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:06,300 in an environment that doesn't readily acknowledge and honor 29 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,900 them. So if you are really good at 30 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:13,600 building relationships, You're really good at empathy. 31 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:19,200 If you are really skillful in a lot of these kind of invisible 32 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,100 abilities, and they're not necessarily quote-unquote 33 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:27,500 technical, but you rely on them and you use them in an expert 34 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:31,500 level to do high quality work with other humans. 35 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,500 Sometimes we forget to see that for ourselves if we don't 36 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:41,000 experience other people, recognizing that and reflecting 37 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,200 that That back to us. And I'm sharing this all in part 38 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,200 because I just had this amazing experience at a conference, with 39 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,600 other coaches. So, they are my peers were all 40 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:56,500 in similar business and doing similar kinds of work, but we're 41 00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:01,000 not in each other's day today. And so the quality of the 42 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,800 conversation and the things that I came away with have just been 43 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:11,000 so nourishing and so expansive. And I think sometimes when we 44 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,500 are King in an organization. We forget how to do that. 45 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,000 We have to be really intentional because most of the 46 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,400 conversations that you'll have at work, well either be with 47 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:27,300 other people in your workplace or it might be a very informal 48 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,800 conversation with the people you live with. 49 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,900 When we are either complaining about work or being frustrated 50 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:38,100 with our boss or frustrated with our team or when we're feeling, 51 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:41,000 you know, like a specific celebration about something. 52 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,900 But there's a different kind of conversation, you have. 53 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:49,800 And it's important to be mindful that you can choose to put 54 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:54,600 yourself in a room or choose to put yourself in a conversation. 55 00:03:54,600 --> 00:04:00,200 That is different than the ones that happen informally in the 56 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:04,400 course of the workspace. So that's what I wanted to open 57 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,500 with. And so today, I wanted to also 58 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:12,800 talk with you about how I think about the Your communication 59 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,100 skills that you need as a manager. 60 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:22,300 And as a leader and for a lot of us, they become you skills that 61 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:27,900 we haven't needed in order to become a successful as we are 62 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,700 right now. So for example, you might be 63 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:35,700 really self-reliant and because you are self-reliant, you don't 64 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:40,700 ask for help you figure it out. You're Scrappy, you take a lot 65 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,200 of responsibility. Stability. 66 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:47,900 You just get in and do it and that can be incredibly valuable, 67 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,600 especially just as a human in the world and when we are an 68 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,200 individual contributor, that's great. 69 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,400 Those qualities will really serve you there. 70 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,900 But then what happens is, when you start to rise into higher 71 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:08,500 levels of managing others and you rise into higher levels of 72 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:12,300 leadership with new responsibilities, Those same 73 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:17,600 exact qualities, can hold you back because you will rely 74 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,900 exclusively on them. And as you are managing others 75 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:26,600 and as you are rising into leadership, that will require 76 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:31,200 additional kinds of communication skills, like 77 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:35,300 learning, how to ask for the support and the help that you 78 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:41,000 need learning how to ask for resources or to make difficult 79 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,900 decisions. Visions that maybe not everyone 80 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,800 will be happy with. This has also been something I 81 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,000 can relate to very much because I feel like a lot of my early 82 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:54,900 life was the, you know, kind of the internal perspective of if I 83 00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:59,000 can, just make everyone happy, then I can have what I want and 84 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,400 things will work. And, you know, that the 85 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:07,300 discomfort of disagreement was so great that I would go to 86 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:11,200 Great Lengths to avoid any kind of disagreement. 87 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,200 Or even the perception. Like my own. 88 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,000 Internal belief of is this person happy or unhappy? 89 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,800 Are they mad, or are they okay in my personal life in my school 90 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,700 life? And in my early professional 91 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:29,900 life, I didn't even realize for so long that that was driving so 92 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:33,900 much of my behavior and choices. Until then, of course, I became 93 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:39,200 a manager and realized that you may need to make decisions that 94 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:44,600 not everyone will be happy with or even realizing that the 95 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,100 people that you work with are humans and sometimes they will 96 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:54,300 feel angry or sad or distracted and maybe it has nothing to do 97 00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,100 with you. Maybe it has to do with their 98 00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:00,600 own life or what's happening in the bigger world. 99 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:06,000 And so the goal is not to make everyone happy. 100 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,300 We start to ask different kinds of questions. 101 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:13,600 What is the goal? Here, what is Our intention 102 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,000 here? How are you going to make 103 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,800 decisions? And that will look really 104 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,800 different when you are a manager versus when you are an 105 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:28,100 individual contributor. And this includes not just a 106 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:33,600 formal manager, reporting structure, this includes 107 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,600 managing relationships. If you are a product manager or 108 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:43,000 a Project Lead, this cludes managing up. 109 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:48,900 So being able to communicate effectively and influential E2 110 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:54,500 people in higher positions of decision-making, power in your 111 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:59,200 organization, learning how to communicate, effectively will 112 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:03,500 look different and I think sometimes we just forget that. 113 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,700 We think the thing I've been doing before is the thing that 114 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:10,300 will continue to work rather than thinking of it in terms of 115 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:15,100 I An amazing job with these skills that I've developed. 116 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:21,000 And there are now new skills that it is time for me to learn 117 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:25,000 and realize that any time you are learning a new skill. 118 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,800 There may be some discomfort, the discomfort of doing 119 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:34,799 something new and not feeling good at it, the feeling of 120 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:41,000 discomfort in the uncertainty of, can I do it correctly and I 121 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,200 Might not it might not work the way I think. 122 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,700 As as I'm learning this new skill, we want to be aware of 123 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:52,100 the growing pains that come along as part of the ride 124 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:57,500 because when we don't understand that, yes, it is time to learn 125 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,500 some new skills and they will be uncomfortable because sometimes 126 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,000 learning something new is uncomfortable. 127 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:08,500 When we don't acknowledge that. What happens is that we avoid 128 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,400 it. We isolate. 129 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:16,900 We try to put a mask or a cover. Like I hope, I hope this works 130 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:21,200 and I hope people don't, you know, notice or get upset. 131 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,600 And we also tend to get over responsible and overworked. 132 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:30,600 So instead of learning how to communicate differently or 133 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:36,100 manage our own experience of it, we kind of doubled down on the 134 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:42,200 thing that we know and we grow our coping This is also how we 135 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:49,000 can get a kind of scope creep, that erodes our boundaries and 136 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:54,900 it can very easily create an unsustainable relationship that 137 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:59,700 you have with your work where the ability to communicate 138 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,600 requirements, boundaries requests if we're not doing 139 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,700 that. And then we're really kind of 140 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:11,900 setting ourselves up To go into a relationship where we're just 141 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:16,800 building our coping strategies, we are overworking being overly 142 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:22,300 responsible, and avoiding the discomfort of communication by 143 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:26,100 taking on the discomfort of an absence of work-life balance. 144 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:32,000 So, when we think about why is it important to acknowledge 145 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,000 that, as you're growing, there may be some discomfort. 146 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:39,200 There may be new skills that it's time to. 147 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,900 And giving yourself the acknowledgement and the grace of 148 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:46,000 where you are in your particular Journey. 149 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,600 It makes all the difference in the world. 150 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:54,500 So some specific communication skills that you will need to 151 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,400 have. I talked about self-advocacy a 152 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:02,000 lot self-advocacy. Is your ability to speak up on 153 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:07,300 behalf of your self advocacy is speaking up on behalf of someone 154 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,400 and there will be times that you need. 155 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:15,000 To speak up and advocate for your team, or for it the client, 156 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,400 or for your idea. And self-advocacy is when you're 157 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,300 speaking up for yourself, whether you're asking for a 158 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:27,300 resource but also it's about your own, inner conversation 159 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:30,300 with yourself. So if your internal conversation 160 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:35,600 is 0, I can just make do, I don't want to bother anybody. 161 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,500 I shouldn't need to ask for help. 162 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,000 I should be able To figure this out on my own. 163 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:47,700 I mean, yeah. But if you are standing up for 164 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:51,900 yourself and for your well-being, you might make other 165 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:58,800 kinds of choices about your time about your energy about how you 166 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:04,700 are choosing to be with all of the demands and requirements. 167 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,700 So advocating for self also looks like that. 168 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:13,900 It's just What you choose for yourself because you decide I 169 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:17,500 want this. And every part of me is worthy 170 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:20,300 of care. And so I'm going to do this 171 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,700 because this is good for me and that's okay. 172 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:29,500 You will also need the skill of being direct and clear and kind 173 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:34,000 and where I see a lot of folks get tripped up on this is 174 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,400 they'll either be direct but they'll forget the kindness and 175 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,700 it's not that it's From a mean place. 176 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,900 But if you tend to be uncomfortably being direct, then 177 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:51,400 you will avoid it until you kind of just have a break you get. 178 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,500 So frustrated, you say look okay I've been trying to tell you and 179 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,600 you haven't been getting it. So this is what I'm trying to 180 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,000 say. It'll come out with a lot of 181 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,100 frustration and impatience behind it. 182 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:07,800 When you're not practiced at it, or it will simply be very 183 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,600 reactive. And you'll kind of drop the 184 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:16,700 kindness part and you'll drop also, the clarity of what are 185 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:21,800 you trying to affect here? What is the effect that you want 186 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,700 here? And for a lot of us, you know, 187 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:27,600 we're kind of trying to understand what is required. 188 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,100 What is expected? When we think about being direct 189 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:34,600 and clear and kind, it is such a great service. 190 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:38,900 It is the idea that I'm going to make this as easy as possible 191 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:44,000 For us to communicate and to understand what is expected and 192 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,100 required here, because I know that's what we want to do. 193 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:53,100 We really want to save time, we want to save energy, we want to 194 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,700 build trust, we want to work well together and so I'm going 195 00:13:56,700 --> 00:14:00,200 to be direct. But from this place that is 196 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:04,800 clear, because I've done my own thinking, first about what is it 197 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,800 that I want to be clear about and what are the clear outcomes 198 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,300 that I want us to create together? 199 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,100 Weather. And I'm going to be able to 200 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:15,900 deliver this from the ground of kindness. 201 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,600 It doesn't mean the person won't be unhappy or frustrated, or 202 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,700 they might not have their own reaction, but you can have so 203 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:29,800 much more control about your side of that. 204 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:35,200 And when, you know that it becomes less scary because you 205 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:40,800 start to do it more and more, you start to To do it in small 206 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,900 ways. So that, then the bigger ways of 207 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:48,000 being direct or things feel more high stakes, those start to see 208 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,700 it feel a lot more, like I can do this because I have been 209 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:57,700 practicing in these other areas. And I have to say that is one of 210 00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,700 the skills. So the ability to be direct and 211 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:05,100 clear and kind in a way that builds trust, it is one of the 212 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:10,300 skills that will save you and everyone you work with So much 213 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:14,800 time. Sometimes I see my clients get a 214 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,000 little bit. Like we, they tend to think that 215 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,100 communicating fast is. High-value like it's 216 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:26,100 demonstrating being highly responsive, but what ends up 217 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:29,500 happening, is it just creates this great sense of urgency. 218 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:35,100 It's reactive and so it actually creates more confusion and more 219 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,100 back and forth. And that gets really draining 220 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:42,100 for everyone and it takes a lot of time, rather than When we're 221 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:46,600 able to slow down, be mindful notice, okay? 222 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,400 What's actually happening here? What is it that I want to affect 223 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,500 here, what will be my strategic approach here? 224 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,900 Then our communication becomes more effective more efficient. 225 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,400 Everything starts becoming easier. 226 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,800 When we do some of that intentional work and how do I 227 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,900 want to communicate this upfront? 228 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,800 You'll also use these same skills in giving feedback. 229 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:15,300 Back, you're going to give feedback up to your manager, 230 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,900 you're going to give feedback across to the colleagues that 231 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,700 you work with. You may give feedback of course 232 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:25,400 to the people that report directly to you in a formal way. 233 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:31,000 And as you think about how can you use the skill of feedback? 234 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:35,900 What are all the different ways that you can use this to help 235 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:42,400 you get more work done easier. And with just a greater A sense 236 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:46,400 of like a greater sense of Harmony, like a greater sense of 237 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,400 ease fullness, not just that, the work becomes easier, but it 238 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:55,500 just feels more easeful. I know so many of my clients, 239 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:59,000 say, I need to give feedback to someone and I don't know how and 240 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,000 I feel really anxious about it. So I've been having the 241 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:10,200 conversation in my mind non-stop for like a month and we avoid 242 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,000 the conversation. You're actually Having it over 243 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,599 and over and over again, in your own mind. 244 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:21,900 So, learn that skill because it will save you so much time and 245 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:27,200 so much energy. So thinking about communication 246 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:31,600 skills, realizing it's not just the what you say it's not just 247 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:37,100 the words, but it's also the mindset, you're bringing to how 248 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:41,300 you are going to communicate, how will you be direct and 249 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,100 concise? Kind and clear, how will you use 250 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:48,100 that to establish balance and boundaries? 251 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:56,000 How will you use that to give effective feedback to anyone, 252 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,500 you need to give feedback to both the people that report to 253 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,100 you. But also to working Partners in 254 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:08,200 the organization, even to clients that can be one of the 255 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,400 scariest things for folks, is to think about, how do I give 256 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,300 feedback? Back to a client because you 257 00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:19,600 know there's a fear of making them angry or feeling like. 258 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,800 Oh I can't have any boundaries with clients because their 259 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,100 clients. And if you work in an 260 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:29,400 environment where that's the prevailing belief, then you're 261 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,800 going to resist it, you're going to just go along and be like I 262 00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:35,000 guess I can't have boundaries with clients because I don't see 263 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:40,700 that modeled anywhere and you will forget that you are also a 264 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,900 brilliant person. And who can establish 265 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:49,000 relationships in your own way. They might look different, they 266 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,900 might work better. I see this a lot actually with a 267 00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:57,100 lot of my clients, they work with me, they learn how to think 268 00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:01,300 differently about what their problems and challenges are. 269 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:04,700 So then they approached the solutions from a very different 270 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:07,600 angle and things start working in. 271 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,900 These really like surprisingly beautiful ways and then what 272 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:15,100 happens is, Colleagues, look at them and say wait, how did you 273 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:18,500 do that? How did you get that client to 274 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:22,900 behaved so well or how did you get that person in that other 275 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:28,600 department tube you so available for you like how did you create 276 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,500 these incredible Partnerships in the organization and it comes 277 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,900 back to do. It's the way that I communicate 278 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:38,700 and is the way that I'm thinking about how I'm going to do it. 279 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,300 I've got a strategic thinking happening, I'm being very 280 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:46,400 mindful I'm being very aware of my own boundaries and limits and 281 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:51,800 needs and instead of avoiding that or just hoping that other 282 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,900 people will see and figure it out. 283 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,400 I've learned how to take control of that in a way that is really 284 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,500 effective for me specifically because we're all different. 285 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,900 And I just want to acknowledge to that communication skills is 286 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:10,400 not about kind of making you different and how you 287 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:14,900 communicate We still keep your own voice and your own style, 288 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:22,800 but we're able to clarify and then amplify and grow some new 289 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:27,200 skills, if that makes sense. And the reason I mentioned that 290 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,800 and the reason why this matters when you're thinking about, how 291 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:35,200 do I improve my communication skills is because it's not about 292 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:43,000 mimicking, somebody else, it's not about Taking this other 293 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,700 person that you work with who's really different from you like, 294 00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,400 so if you are an introvert, it's not about learning how to 295 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:53,600 perform the behaviors of an extrovert. 296 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:58,000 Okay, it really is about understanding. 297 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,400 What is it that makes you effective in your own specific 298 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:08,500 way and leaning into that, and once you do it, just becomes 299 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:14,000 everything becomes easier. So that is what I wanted to 300 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,700 share with you is, when you're thinking about the skills for 301 00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:21,300 communication that got you here, realizing there will be new ones 302 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:25,000 now that you're growing into leadership and into Higher 303 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,400 levels of responsibility as a manager. 304 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:35,300 And I want to invite you to come into this 12 week program. 305 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:39,600 That I'm leading, we start February 14th. 306 00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:46,000 So registration is open now and you want to be there if focusing 307 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:50,200 on communication skills and mindset are important to you 308 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,200 right now. And honestly, they are important 309 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,400 to you right now. And I see that because this will 310 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:02,500 set up your year to be so much better than if you continue to 311 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:05,800 feel like you're in a voidance or stumbling or struggling with 312 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,700 this, it's a small group. We meet every week for 12 weeks, 313 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:13,400 we're focusing on communication, skills, and mindset, and all 314 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,600 these different situations and because it's live and we are all 315 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,700 together. You get to ask me questions and 316 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:25,200 learn from me directly, but you also get to learn with People 317 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,100 who are also managing but who are not working with you. 318 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:33,600 So you'll start to see your own challenges in a new light. 319 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:38,600 You'll also start to see your own genius in a new light 320 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,300 because my guess is that there are things you're doing well 321 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:46,600 that you might be overlooking and not fully appreciating. 322 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,900 So we're going to get more clear on what your specific strengths 323 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:54,500 are and then how to use those to develop. 324 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:58,100 Complimentary and additional abilities and capacities. 325 00:22:58,100 --> 00:23:03,300 Right now we've got a product manager a project lead. 326 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:07,500 We've got a senior director, a couple of new directors. 327 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:13,600 So if that sounds like you then I want you to come and join us 328 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,300 because this is going to be incredibly helpful and the one 329 00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:23,000 hour that we're together, each week is going to make the rest 330 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,100 of your week so much. And that in turn has a Compound 331 00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:30,400 Effect that's going to Ripple out for the rest of your year. 332 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,900 So come bring your questions about communication and 333 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:38,400 boundaries and how to be direct and how to say the uncomfortable 334 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,800 thing, but in a kind way, bring all of that here so we can 335 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,100 workshop at together. So that you feel supported and 336 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:49,800 more capable and prepared to then do that out in the 337 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,800 workplace because we're also talking mindset, you will also 338 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,100 be learning. And what are the things that 339 00:23:56,100 --> 00:24:00,400 keep you from going forward? When you think I know I need to 340 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,300 have a conversation but I just don't want to. 341 00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:06,200 We're going to uncover for you, what? 342 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:11,200 Specific level and flavor of avoidance or discomfort. 343 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,200 That is because you can have all the information in the world, 344 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:23,100 but you won't actually apply it if you don't feel like invited 345 00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:26,800 into it like You can have all the information in the world but 346 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:32,200 you still won't put it into practice until you understand. 347 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:36,800 What is the, what is the bridge for you between the knowing and 348 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,700 the doing? And it's always in the being who 349 00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:42,700 you're being, and that's a mindset thing. 350 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,900 So, that's what I wanted to leave you with today and invite 351 00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:51,800 you in to go to my website. Kim nickel.com go to the new 352 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,500 manager, page and right at the top, you'll see a link. 353 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:59,300 Link to register and you'll see all of the information so go do 354 00:24:59,300 --> 00:25:02,800 that. And let's get you in and we will 355 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:07,000 make this happen. All right, have an amazing week. 356 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,400 Thank you for being here and for listening and I will talk to you 357 00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:18,200 next time. Hey before you go if you like 358 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,700 this podcast, please leave a review. 359 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:25,800 Tell me why you listen and what has helped you Thanks so much. 360 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,100 I'll see you next time.