1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:16,400 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. 3 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,700 I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well. 4 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:23,600 I'm feeling amazing today in the last week, I've had a few of my 5 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:28,300 clients have some really incredible Transformations where 6 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:33,200 they are able to shift out of fear, that they didn't even 7 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:38,300 realize that they had and the way that they've noticed. 8 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:42,100 So, for example, one of my clients, Clients had been 9 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:46,000 feeling a lot of uncertainty and a lot of fear about what 10 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:49,400 decision to make and what might happen if she chose this 11 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,200 direction and what might happen if she chose that direction and 12 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,800 because of the coaching that we've done, we had this call 13 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:02,000 where she showed up and just realized, oh my gosh, I can feel 14 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:07,800 safe even in uncertainty. And she did described it as 15 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,700 being in The Cloud of Unknowing, which I Good. 16 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:15,100 Because I don't think she realized that but there is a 17 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:20,100 book like the spiritual book written by I think an anonymous 18 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:24,800 none or something from like 100 100 or 200 years ago called The 19 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,300 Cloud of Unknowing. And I thought it was a beautiful 20 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,800 way for my client to describe this. 21 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:36,800 Feeling of you can be in the unknown in the uncertainty and 22 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,900 you can either be in a panic about it. 23 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,700 And the fear gets Really activated and in starts to feel 24 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:47,600 anxious and rushy and just highly uncomfortable. 25 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:52,000 Like you're trying to get out of it as quickly as possible or you 26 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:58,500 can rest In This Cloud of Unknowing, feeling so safe in 27 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:04,600 yourself and feeling so grounded that you are capable that. 28 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,100 You make great decisions that you have all the support you 29 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:13,700 need and being in this period. Have uncertainty is actually not 30 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:18,600 a problem. It's just an experience of life 31 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:23,100 and I love that she was able to find that for herself in the 32 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,900 process of the work. We did together. 33 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:28,300 Another client of mine. Very recently told me, he said, 34 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:32,100 oh Mom. I'm I want to be more bold and I 35 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:36,600 want to trust myself more and he started to see how he was doing 36 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,100 that by having direct conversations with people. 37 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,900 By not holding back and kind of holding onto the self-doubt of. 38 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,800 Can I say this? Can I not will they take it the 39 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,600 wrong way? Instead, he was able to put that 40 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:56,200 aside and when he did what he discovered was that he could be 41 00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:01,900 more bold and he could trust himself and it emerged as this 42 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:07,300 kind of very authentic confidence that felt good to be 43 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,600 in and then he had this incredible conversation with a 44 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,600 person out. Work and he's like wow that 45 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,200 actually worked really nicely. I prefer that I prefer to live 46 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:22,700 from that place instead and that always makes me feel so good 47 00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:27,100 because I think often times at work the things we think are 48 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:31,900 work, things are really not there, really human things and 49 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:36,400 they are things in the way that we have relationships, the way 50 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,400 that we think about ourselves, the secret fears. 51 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,400 And by that, I mean, I mean sometimes we don't even realize 52 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,400 it, we don't even see it for ourselves that we have this 53 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,900 hidden fear about something that might happen. 54 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:55,400 And then it twists the way that we build relationships and 55 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,100 communicate and think about ourselves and it can really get 56 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,400 us in quite a tangle. And so when we start to solve 57 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:07,400 for that in the work context, it ends up solving for that in so 58 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:12,300 many other areas of your life. And let's face it. 59 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:16,899 Work is one part of life. It might be a really big part, 60 00:04:16,899 --> 00:04:20,300 because we spend a lot of time there and it's directly 61 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:26,000 connected to livelihood and to Financial Security and all of 62 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:31,100 that. But life is always bigger than 63 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:36,500 work work. Is just one venue just one place 64 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:41,100 where as a human you get to experience your life and being 65 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:46,000 being alive with other humans and in relationship to that. 66 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,900 So today I wanted to talk with you about the importance of, how 67 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:57,300 you identify the problem. And this came up in a very clear 68 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,700 way. For me personally, very recently 69 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:06,000 where I was in a communication in a email communication with 70 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,500 someone that I am going to be learning from and I joined her 71 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,900 program. Very excited for it. 72 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:17,500 And she sent me an email with a link to the calendar. 73 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,700 It was like, if you click on this link, it will add this, you 74 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:25,400 know, calendar and all the information to my, you know, 75 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,300 personal calendar. And I got the email, I click the 76 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:31,600 link and I got an error message. And I was so frustrated, I'm 77 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,600 like what's going on here? And I tried it a couple of times 78 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,400 in the link didn't work and then I emailed her and then the email 79 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,000 bounced back, like what is going on? 80 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,800 So, I was able to message her through another social platform 81 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,300 that we're connected on and I said, hey, you know, I click the 82 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,000 calendar link, it didn't work. And I tried to email you, and it 83 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,300 didn't work, and I'm like, what's going on here? 84 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,700 And she wrote back to me, she said, oh my gosh, thank you for 85 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:03,100 letting me know. I had to update my credit card 86 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:07,500 for the you know, for Gmail because it up into it updated, 87 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,700 but it didn't update in all the places. 88 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,200 And so that's why. Email is bouncing back and it 89 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,500 still didn't though, it didn't fix the calendar thing. 90 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:20,400 She emailed me again, here's the link, click the link for the 91 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,200 calendar. I click the link. 92 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,100 It didn't work. I was getting kind of 93 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,300 frustrated. I couldn't figure out what was 94 00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,500 going on. What is the problem? 95 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:34,900 And I was also feeling kind of impatient like, why is this link 96 00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,500 not working? Like I'm doing what I'm supposed 97 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,000 to do. I'm clicking it. 98 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,100 But maybe like she Not doing something correctly like what's 99 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:48,300 going on here and what happened was I realized, like, oh wait a 100 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:52,600 minute, she's sending it to my gmail address, but when I click 101 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:57,900 it, it's opening it up like within Google and Gmail, you 102 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:01,300 know, you can have multiple accounts but your browser when 103 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:04,700 you open it, it'll be logged in, to your default account. 104 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,100 And so, what I realized was happening was that even though 105 00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:13,400 she was sending it to one email account, My Gmail when I clicked 106 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,500 it to open it, it was opening it in a browser window that was 107 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,500 logged on to my default account, which is a different account. 108 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:26,600 And so it was confused because it was opening up the calendar, 109 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,400 which was on which was, you know, the link was had been 110 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,300 granted permission through my gmail address but it opened in a 111 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:38,400 different browser login and so Google was confused. 112 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,900 I didn't realize that they were all the same. 113 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:46,900 And I realized that in order for this to work, I had to log out 114 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,200 of everything and then login again. 115 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:57,500 So that I could make the browser window, the same email 116 00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:01,000 Associated, login as the email as the link, like I had to 117 00:08:01,008 --> 00:08:03,600 streamline all of that and it was happening. 118 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,500 So seamlessly, I didn't realize it. 119 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:09,200 And then when I did I logged out of everything log back in, click 120 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,300 the link, it worked perfectly. And so I messaged her and I 121 00:08:12,308 --> 00:08:16,100 said, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. It was my browser window. 122 00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:19,200 I figured it out. You know, thank you for being 123 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,200 patient with me and she replied. Oh my gosh. 124 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,000 Thank you for telling me. I've had that happen to and I 125 00:08:25,008 --> 00:08:28,500 have been very confused about that and my guess is. 126 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:32,100 She also will have clients either in the present moment or 127 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:36,400 in the future that might have a similar challenge that might 128 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,299 have that same problem and they won't understand why, and now 129 00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:42,900 she knows. Knows what is going on. 130 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,900 So now she knows another way to troubleshoot it. 131 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:49,300 So the reason I wanted to share this with you is because when we 132 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,500 come up against a challenger a problem, the way you identify, 133 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:58,200 what the problem is, is incredibly important because the 134 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:04,700 way you identify and Define, the problem will limit the way you 135 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:11,400 seek to address it. So, for example, when I was 136 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,800 clicking on the link and it wasn't working and I thought, 137 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:18,600 oh, maybe she sent the link wrong or maybe there's something 138 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:23,800 that she's not doing correctly. It turned all of my attention to 139 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:29,600 her and it turned all of my attention away from what the 140 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:35,100 actual problem was. And notice, the problem wasn't 141 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:39,300 something that I was doing. It wasn't something that she was 142 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:43,000 doing. It was about the way the process 143 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:49,800 worked in the background. It was the system of how the 144 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,600 browser window and the different. 145 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:57,500 You know, profiles all worked and they're designed to work 146 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,600 seamlessly. So you don't see them which is 147 00:10:00,608 --> 00:10:06,000 normally fine until it's not and then it became problematic and 148 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,100 so often times Times in the workplace, something happens 149 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:13,900 that we don't understand why are we feel friction confusion 150 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:18,200 frustration? And when we Define the problem 151 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:26,000 in terms of a person or their personality that limits our 152 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:31,400 thinking, and our solution set tremendously because think about 153 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:36,000 it, if we go to the place in our mind or we think this person, 154 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:41,500 their Tonality just it's like, that's the problem. 155 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,400 It's what they're doing are not doing. 156 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,900 They must be doing something wrong because their personality 157 00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,500 is just like this, then what happens is? 158 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,200 It gets us in trenched into, I'm right? 159 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:57,300 They're wrong it completely let's go of any agency or 160 00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:01,300 authority because you don't have agency or authority over who a 161 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:05,400 person is or what their personality is and it's 162 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:09,700 eliminates us being curious. Reyes, it kind of puts us in 163 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:16,200 this direction of blame, where we stop being curious about 164 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:20,200 what's going on, which means that we're not able to actually 165 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:24,300 identify and solve for what the real issue is. 166 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:30,200 Instead when you are faced with a problem or frustration, go 167 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:37,300 first to the lens of process. Go first to the lens of system. 168 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,500 Of context. Like, what is the bigger picture 169 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:45,300 here? That might explain why. 170 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,500 I'm seeing this result. Why? 171 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:51,000 I'm seeing this situation unfolding in this way? 172 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:56,400 If it wasn't a personal personal issue if it wasn't about 173 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,300 personality, then how else could I look at this? 174 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,700 Because that will keep you in the place of curiosity, which 175 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:08,100 will get you more insight. More Knowledge, more 176 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:12,900 perspective, more information, and it allows you to see the 177 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:17,900 blind spots more easily, like with me in the browser, that was 178 00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:21,400 a blind spot. I would not have seen that if I 179 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,800 was only focused on like, what is she doing? 180 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,600 Oh, well, why is this not working? 181 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:31,400 And then what's really cool is because I was able to actually 182 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,300 see it and solve for it, then we learn together. 183 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,000 So sometimes when things are not going well or Like, what is 184 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,600 happening here? If you see it as process, you 185 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:47,900 see it as ecosystem, you see it as the bigger picture, then you 186 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:52,100 can actually partner and solve it together, which gets us out 187 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:56,900 of that, opposing conflict, working against each other, kind 188 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,600 of energy. And that's the easiest place for 189 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,500 our brains to go. We tend to jump to blame pretty 190 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:07,300 quickly and often it takes intentional practice too. 191 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:13,700 Slow down to take a breath. And ask what's actually 192 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:17,700 happening here? What could be behind this? 193 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,800 What am I not seeing? Or what is so hidden in? 194 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,000 Plain sight. I'm glossing over it. 195 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,900 If you've been listening to this podcast for a while you can't 196 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:32,300 you might be familiar with the who broke the toaster episode. 197 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,600 I did, oh gosh. Maybe a year ago. 198 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,100 It's back there if you dig for it. 199 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,800 But essentially it was the same kind of thing where someone 200 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,200 thought the Mr. Was broken because when he put the bread in 201 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,700 it and they pushed the button down, it didn't work and he 202 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,400 thought somebody broke the toaster. 203 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:53,800 That was his first guess to identify the problem. 204 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,600 He thought the toaster is broken. 205 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,900 Somebody broke it. And I tell you I could already 206 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:03,700 see the wheels turning in his mind as he was imagining which 207 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:08,600 of his colleagues had broken the toaster and then just left it on 208 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,400 the counter could see him getting heated. 209 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:16,300 Thinking somebody broke this, who is it and starting to blame 210 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:20,500 and accuse people in his mind? And so when I was in that 211 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:24,000 kitchen with him and I said, oh that's really interesting like 212 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:28,200 what does that even mean? What is happening and I glanced 213 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,700 down the counter and I sought on microwave and I noticed that the 214 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:35,800 digital display on the microwave wasn't on, Ah, that's kind of 215 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,300 weird. And then I walked down to the 216 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,500 refrigerator and I opened the refrigerator and normally 217 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,300 There's a light that turns on when you open the refrigerator 218 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:49,900 door, but this time there was no light and I realized I think the 219 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:56,600 problem is not with the toaster. I think maybe there's no power 220 00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:01,200 coming into the entire wall and it turns out, that's exactly 221 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,800 what happened. The circuit breaker had blown 222 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:08,100 and there was no electricity coming into the entire wall of 223 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:13,500 the kitchen. So he had Miss identified, the 224 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:17,700 problem. We do this all the time and we 225 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:20,900 feel so Justified. That's the thing I really want 226 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:26,300 to direct you to is to notice when you feel really Justified 227 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:31,100 really defensive for me, I despair I describe it as feeling 228 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:34,900 very by T like there's a part of me I think about like a little 229 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,600 dog. I just want to bite somebody 230 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,700 because I'm feeling very frustrated and upset and that 231 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:43,100 tends to be what what it Feels like for me, I get a little bit 232 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:47,100 by T and frustrated and impatient but you want to notice 233 00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,200 for yourself. What is that look like? 234 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,100 What does that feel? Like when you're in it and 235 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:55,700 realize to, this is not bad. Like I'm not saying that's a bad 236 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:58,800 thing, you're a bad person. You're a very human person. 237 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:03,500 It's a very human response. But what you want to be aware of 238 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,700 is when you feel that in your body when you feel the 239 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,700 frustration tightness in the throat, You feel that little 240 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:16,800 tension headache, start behind your eyes and you think, ah, why 241 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,300 is this happening? You feel that heavy sigh. 242 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:24,800 I can't believe this like what is going on here? 243 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:32,200 Use that as a signal. To pay attention and become 244 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,700 curious. You want to access your 245 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:40,800 curiosity because that keeps you in a state of open, Discovery 246 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:46,600 investigation, and exploration. And that will help you to pull 247 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:52,100 your attention up out from this very specific granular moment to 248 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:55,400 looking at the bigger picture, which is what is the process 249 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,900 that is happening here. Sometimes it's around 250 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,100 difference. Of expectations differences in 251 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:06,200 communication Styles misunderstandings in what the 252 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,599 priorities are. There can be so many different 253 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:13,300 ways to understand. Like why is this happening 254 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,700 sometimes it's about I'm thinking of another client who 255 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:20,599 had a situation where there was a document that was changed and 256 00:17:20,599 --> 00:17:23,900 it was changed not in the correct way and when she went 257 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:29,700 back, she realized oh the track changes feature ER, what like we 258 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:33,100 haven't been using that correctly and rather than 259 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:39,500 blaming her teammate for not being, you know, detail-oriented 260 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:43,300 enough or not catching all the errors or whatever she said. 261 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:49,100 Okay, as a team, we need to really clean up the way that we 262 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:53,200 use the track changes feature, because if we're not precise 263 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,800 about it, it can lead to unforced errors. 264 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:59,300 Can lead us to make mistakes that we Me too. 265 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:06,600 If only we tune up our process for document review revision and 266 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:14,600 how we use the tracked changes tool in our document system as a 267 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,400 manager and leader. This also helps you to build 268 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,800 trust with people when they make mistakes especially if you have 269 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,600 folks who are very high-performing and take it 270 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,400 super personally as at like a personal failure. 271 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:33,300 If They're not perfect and we're not perfect and especially as 272 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:37,300 you are growing and doing things for the first time or stretching 273 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:41,600 beyond the comfort zone, and expanding your skillset doing 274 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,000 new things. It's more valuable to build in 275 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,200 that feeling of trust. I've got your back, we learn 276 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:55,200 things together, nobody gets attacked or or a heavy blame 277 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,000 like you like, you're not going to be a heavy blame Target. 278 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,100 If something doesn't go absolutely perfectly according 279 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:08,100 to plan or smoothly and all of that comes from the way that you 280 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:13,800 identify and describe the problem building in that kind of 281 00:19:13,808 --> 00:19:19,200 trust to, for how do we as a team addressed problems 282 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,300 challenges and Mistakes by looking at process rather than 283 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:29,900 personality and individuals, it really does create a more robust 284 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:35,000 and a more resilient team the way that you learn together 285 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:41,300 means that you will learn faster and that is valuable and it will 286 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:46,200 also keep more trust in the team as opposed to feeling like I 287 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,000 need to either hide things until they're Just Right Where I Need 288 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,000 to you know, slow things down until they're just right? 289 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Because you know we none of us like to feel blamed and 290 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,600 especially if you think of yourself as being really do 291 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,600 Urgent and a hard worker and doing great work. 292 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:08,800 It can feel so paralyzing. If you're feeling worried about 293 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,400 all like, what if I do this wrong, sometimes it will happen. 294 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:15,800 But the way that we describe the problem and then move to 295 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,900 address, it makes all the difference. 296 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,400 So that is what I wanted to share with you today when you 297 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:29,300 learn how to think differently about defining the problem. 298 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:33,400 And when you get out of the blaming frame, when you get more 299 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,300 into curiosity and when you're able to feel emotion 300 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:44,200 intentionally without a Target, then you will use your energy 301 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,600 better, you will use your attention more effectively, you 302 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:54,400 will use your time in a much more useful way. 303 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:59,900 It is a huge time-saver not just in the moment but So in terms of 304 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:04,400 as you build that trust and as you build that feeling of I've 305 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,800 got your back, it's okay to not be perfect because we we know 306 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:16,100 how to learn it ends up. Saving you so much time and it 307 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:19,200 just creates a better experience, honestly. 308 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:23,600 Like, it feels better to live in that headspace then in the head 309 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:28,100 space of blame and fear and frustration and impatience, I 310 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:33,800 know because I've done both. Now I've learned so much about 311 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:38,900 how to take a better approach and I want you to have that too. 312 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,400 So, thank you so much for listening. 313 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:45,300 If you want to do more of this work in a more specifically 314 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:48,400 detailed supported way then reach out to me from one-on-one 315 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,100 coaching. Or you can also get on my email 316 00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:57,200 list to learn about the next time I offer a group which we're 317 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,600 kicking off on Tuesday. It's going. 318 00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:01,100 Be really great. Cannot wait. 319 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:05,400 All right, have an amazing week. I will talk to you next time. 320 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:13,000 Bye. Hey, before you go, if you like 321 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:18,400 this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what 322 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,700 has helped you? Thanks so much. 323 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:21,900 I'll see you next time.