Welcome to the New Manager Podcast.
I'm your host, Kim Nicoll. Hello and welcome.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well.
This is the new day of the New Year.
This is the New Manager Podcast and I want to welcome you as we
start this new year. Whether you are a first time
manager and you are suddenly realizing that that's a
different job than you've done before, or whether you are
simply looking for a new approach, Being a new manager is
not just about being a first time manager, but it's also
about choosing a new approach, some new tools, thinking about
new skills, how do you want to manage?
How do you want to lead? And I also include this bigger
perspective of the way that a lot of us have been modeled of
how to manage effectively might not work anymore.
There are a lot of things that are changing in the way that we
work. And we're really asking new
questions about what does it mean to work effectively
together. You know, how does the workplace
function? You know, how, like, just how
does it work? How does work work?
And there are some new ways that we can start thinking about
that. So having a fresh perspective
and looking with new eyes at a familiar situation will reveal
new opportunities. It will show you new paths.
It will illuminate old problems, but in a way that you might see
something new. That's what it's all about.
And as I kick us off into the new year with this podcast,
that's where my mind and heart are at when I'm thinking about
what I'd like to share with you. So I live in San Francisco, and
one of my favorite places here in the city is the Botanical
Garden. It's this beautiful garden with
lots of different plants from lots of different parts of the
world, and they're all really different.
Some of them are really, you know, beautiful with flowers
and, you know, like like beautiful rich green leaves.
And some of them are beautiful in a very different kind of way.
They're very spiky or they're very, you know, very, very
small. Like, there are so many
different parts of this garden. There is the herbs and the
garden of fragrance. There is this kind of dinosaur
era garden with these really wild plants that definitely look
very prehistoric. There is the California native
section of the garden. There is this, you know, like
lots of beautiful Magnolia trees that start to bloom now, start
to bloom in January and into February.
And I mentioned this because one of the things that really
strikes me when I go into this garden is the variety of plants.
So they are all plants and they all are a bit different, and
they all have some different needs.
They all kind of bloom and grow under slightly different
conditions. They have different needs for
water and sunlight and shade like they all have slightly
different timings and somewhat different requirements.
And the point of the garden is not that they're all the same,
but to actually understand and be mindful of what is the timing
and what are the needs of all of these different plants.
And I think about this as such a beautiful metaphor for life
generally and for career and the workplace especially.
So this idea that there are seasons, this idea that you know
what you need or what is required at one season of your
career or your professional life might be different in another
season. For example, a lot of us, when
we are first in our career, when we are new into our adult work
life, the strategy for success is I'm just going to say yes to
everything. I'm going to do everything as
best I can, and that is what will work.
You know, we're trying to prove ourselves, We're trying to
learn. We're really open.
We probably haven't specialized very deeply and so we say yes to
all the things. However, at some point in your
career, that stops being an effective strategy.
And what we need to learn then is how to discern what do I want
to say yes to and take on, and then what do I want to say no
to? And either that might be
delegating it to somebody else, it might be pointing someone to
a different resource or an alternative person, or, you
know, place for help. And sometimes it's actually the
skill of saying no without providing any comfort or any
additional support. It's kind of that skill of the
greatest service I can give you in this moment is giving you a
fast, clean no, so that you can then move on and figure it out.
Like, I'm not going to figure it out for you.
That's not my role right now. And so the ability to discern
what stage are you at, What is the strategy or the skill that
will best support and serve your thriving?
And you know, coming back to this garden metaphor, you're
thriving and the thriving of the ecosystem and community that you
are a part of that will change over time.
And it's so important, I think, to understand that, that it's OK
to let go of and and change things.
Just like if you have a garden, it's OK to prune some of the
plants back. If you have mint, you know that
mint, it is a very unapologetic plant.
It will take over as much space as it can get.
It is very resilient, very resourceful, and it's OK to
prune that back. It's OK to pull it out.
It's OK to say OK, we're going to, you know, kind of contain
the mint over here and then we're going to not let it take
up as much space as it wants to. So the health of the garden also
requires kind of this awareness of what it what are the needs,
how are they changing and thinking, You know, as the
gardener, it's OK to decide, all right, you know what, We're
going to prune back the mint. We're going to, you know, plant
something else. We're going to adjust the
balance of what what is in the garden and being mindful of the
life cycle of some of these different plants and realizing
what is it time to pull or weed or, you know, let go of and then
we compost it. And The thing is, is, you know,
with the garden, we don't do it in anger.
So we're not, we're not angry at the plants.
They're just being plants, you know.
And so we're in this really intentional relationship with
them. And in your career, too, there
will be stages when you feel like, OK, my strategy is to say
yes to everything, keep my head down, do the hard work and just
get by. That's a totally valid strategy.
And there are different times when you're going to want to use
that. And there will be other times
when the strategy is I'm going to give a quick and clear no,
I'm going to learn how to delegate.
I'm going to stretch beyond a little bit into something that
might feel a little bit different, where I I don't have
complete knowledge and skill, but it's time for me to extend a
bit into this next stage. And that's that feels right for
this time, for this season, right.
This is the season for that. And so with your career too, and
especially if you happen to be in an in an environment that
might not be really supportive or awesome for your professional
growth and your, you know, personal development, we can
think about what is the season that you are in and how do you
want to use what you know, what is, what is around you to your
best advantage, and then prepare for what's next.
And we can do all of that without, you know, feeling angry
at everything around you. Kind of in that same sense of
it's like, you know, the Mint is going to take over.
It's not personal. You're going to work with some
people and in some systems that are just not awesome, but
they're doing what they were designed to do or they're just
doing what they choose to do. And so rather than invest your
energy in kind of feeling stuck and frustrated, it's more of
this sense of, you know, allow and acknowledge all of the
emotion, all of the frustration, and then invest your energy into
your change strategy. So whether that means what is it
that I can do to change, you know, where I am and what I'm
doing and how I'm doing it? How might I change or influence
the way we do things? And that and like the way that
you answer that will be different over the course of
your career. But I want to come back to this
idea that when we think of, you know, career as a garden, and
you are the gardener, and you know, to take the metaphor in
another way too, you're also the plant.
You know, you want to be nourished, you want to grow, you
want to thrive. And what you need to do that
might be a little bit different than your neighbors because you
know, you're an individual human, so you want to have that
bigger perspective for yourself in the workplace.
And the new year is such a great time for that because we all
sort of collectively take a step back, take a deep breath and
say, OK, wait, where are we? What are we doing and what will
be required? So a couple of things I wanted
to share with you to make this even more specific and practical
as you move into this new year, As you're thinking about, you
know with new eyes what it is that you are facing in your
work, what it is that you want for yourself, right?
Like career is also a place not just of professional
development, but personal growth.
They go hand in hand. The first question you want to
consider is what's the vision? And there are so many ways to
think about this. What's the vision can also mean?
What does success look like? What is the big picture goal
that you want to achieve? What is the effect you're going
for, or what is the feeling you're after?
Sometimes the success is about, you know, we're doing everything
and that's it's working well, but it feels so awful.
And I want to be able to make it feel better.
Like, can we do this but in a way that doesn't feel so bad,
right? Can we do this in a way that
doesn't feel so draining or so exacting or that doesn't feel so
discouraging? Like sometimes it's not about we
need to do things differently, but it's understanding why is
this having such an adverse effect on how we feel?
And is there a way that we can change that?
All of those are some of the questions that start to come up
when we ask what's the vision? And what's lovely about this is
you will answer this in a few different ways.
For yourself, you might have a vision of your career for the
next six months or for the next year.
You might also have that bigger picture of your life and how
your career fits into that, depending on you know where
what's what else is happening in your life.
You know career is just one part of you know who you are as a
person. So take some time to consider
what's the vision, what's that big picture and have fun As you
think about that. Don't worry yet about being
super practical or realistic. We want the vision to be a
little bit generous. When you think about it, don't
be stingy or mean spirited, but really be generous As you think
about what's the vision? What does success look like?
What is it that you want? What is the effect you're going
for? Then we've got three questions
to ask yourself. The 1st is what will I stop
doing? What will I stop investing in?
What will I stop putting my time and energy into?
What do I want to stop telling myself?
You know, if you have a very strong inner critic, maybe it's
time to, like, turn the volume down on that.
Maybe it's time to stop telling yourself that you can't do it,
or that you are not good enough. Or maybe it's time to stop
telling yourself that other people's opinions carry so much
weight. Maybe we want to stop telling
those stories on the inside of your own mind and also thinking
about what relationships or patterns do you want to stop
perpetuating. And again, this might be a right
timing thing, the sense of, oh, it is now the right time to stop
perpetuating this pattern in my relationship or in my work life
or in, you know, in the world, Right?
Like you can decide I want to stop participating or stop
perpetuating that. So deciding what is it that you
will stop? That's question one.
Question two, what will you start?
What is it time to start doing? What will you start putting your
time and energy into? What do you want to start
telling yourself right? One of my favorites is hey done
is better than perfect. And if we, you know, like
iterates, get iterative about it.
The idea of it's it's, it's more valuable to do something, have
it be imperfect, because you will learn and you will keep
going. What do you want to start
telling yourself? What relationships or patterns
do you want to start nurturing? This is a really good one when
you think about all of the different relationships in your
life. The relationship with your Co
workers, the relationship you have in your industry, the
relationship you have with your career or with, you know, other
other people in your life, personal and professional.
What relationships or patterns do you want to start nurturing?
One pattern you might want to start nurturing is the pattern
of appreciative inquiry, which is where we ask what's working?
What's of value here? What you know, What are the the
wins you start training your attention to look for the value
and the things that are going well rather than being focused
on the gap or the things that are difficult or not going your
way. You can create this pattern,
this relationship by looking at the positive things and it's not
again to, you know, disregard the negative, but it's to
rebalance. It's like recalibrating your
internal attention so that you don't over focus on the the
negative. But we want to bring that into
balance because there's a lot of value that we can gain from the
positive things, especially when you're managing people and in a
leadership role, be very mindful of where you tend to rest your
attention. Because when we start to add
more appreciation and gratitude and acknowledgement of others,
that's also a way of building a sense of goodwill, a sense of,
oh, I'm being seen and appreciated and everybody wants
to feel seen and appreciated and valued.
It's one of those things that can be such a small practice,
but it really can have a very positive long term effect.
You can think of it just like watering the plants a little
bit, you know give them a little bit of that, that positive
nourishing attention to create and grow more of the positive
behaviors and the sense of goodwill that you know we have
in the workplace. So what will you start is our
second question. And the third one is what will
you continue? So as you think about this
coming year, what is it that you're going to keep doing?
What is it that you know, worked last year that you want to
continue to perpetuate and keep going?
What's working that you will keep doing?
And also what's tough that you want to keep up anyway.
So it, you know, it might be like, oh, like it's it's such a
pain to be a, you know, to have to do this, this particular
thing. But I'm going to keep at it
because I know it makes me better.
I know that it is valuable. I know that you know for now,
for this period of time, it's still the the choice that I want
to make, even though it's tough. And I think what also helps when
we have this perspective, right? Like here's the big picture,
what will I stop? What will I start?
What will I continue is it also helps us remember the
temporariness of things. It helps us be intentional in
the choices that we make so that we're not simply going through
the motions and kind of you know doing the last year, but on
repeat it gives us a little bit of that space to reflect and
make micro adjustments. And those micro adjustments can
make very positive accumulative long term effects.
Kind of like you know when you when you have a garden, it's a
lot easier to maintain it if you're checking in on it
regularly and tending to it as you see different needs arise.
It's a lot harder if you just kind of you know, neglect it or
you know, assume that everything is just going to be fine and
then you only look at it, you know once a year or twice a year
then there's a lot more work to do.
So taking that. Moment, a small moment to pause
and check in, to ask yourself, OK, what's the big vision?
What will I stop? What will I start?
What will I continue? Will help you as you move
through the year and help you to take a little bit of that new
perspective with you. What I also really like about
this framework is because it's so simple, you can use it in a
lot of different situations and contexts.
You might bring it into a team meeting.
And at the beginning of the year, as you're deciding as a
team, how will we work together this year or this quarter, you
might have a conversation as a team.
Is there anything we need to stop doing?
You know? And maybe that's something
simple like instead of having 60 minute meetings, let's have 45
minute meetings. Let's stop assuming what has to
be an hour. And let's make it a little bit
shorter so that we all have a bit more buffer space, a bit
more breathing room so we can context switch and just not feel
so pressed. You know, time pressed all the
time. Maybe that's the thing that we
stopped. What is it that we want to start
as a team? Is there anything that we want
to start or do differently this year?
Anything that we've been putting off, anything that we want to
do, even in a small way. I used to work at a company and
the founder liked to do Gratitude Fridays.
So, you know, maybe you decide, hey, let's start doing a
Gratitude Friday where, you know, we just share an
appreciation for someone else that's helped us on the team.
Or maybe it's oh, what let's do, let's do no Meeting Wednesdays.
Like, let's try that out and see how that goes.
Maybe that's what you want to start and what will you
continue? What is it as a team that you
are going to continue to do in the coming year?
And this gives you room to acknowledge the things that are
working. Hey, as a team, we do this thing
and it works really well, so let's keep that.
And it also allows you to acknowledge the things that are
difficult that maybe you have to do anyways.
So, OK, as a team, there's this thing that we have to do and
nobody likes it, and it's not the most perfect system, but
it's the one that we're working with, so we're going to continue
to do it anyways. Let's see if we can do it, you
know, like without feeling so bogged down.
Let's just acknowledge it. Yes, it's not awesome, but it's
what we're working with and so we're going to continue it
anyways. So take this framework, use it
in any way that was going to help you either with a specific
person, with your team, even with your manager.
My gosh, Can you imagine if you go to a one-on-one with your
manager and you say, OK manager, as I'm moving into this coming
year and we're working together, I just wanted to do a check in.
I've got three questions. You know, what do we want to
stop? Is there anything that we're
doing that we don't need to do right now?
What should we be starting? What will we start?
Is there anything we want to continue?
Right. It just gives you that brief
check in that gentle evaluation, very clear, very simple and so
useful in so many ways just to make sure like where are we
going, are we going in the right direction, Is this working?
So that is what I wanted to offer you As we begin the New
Year, I hope that you are feeling a sense of welcoming,
right, like we're all moving into this New year.
You are here. There is some work for you to
do, and the way that you do that, you have so much influence
and agency over that, perhaps even more than you realize.
And if this is all something that you want to have more
structured support with, then I invite you to work with me.
You can do that in two ways. I have a group program that will
be opening up again and starting in February, go to my website
kimnickel.com/new Managers and get on the wait list to learn
and be invited to that as soon as that opens up for enrollment.
The other way you can work with me is with one-on-one coaching.
That's the most customized way to work together.
We work together for about 6 months and we really get more
clarity and more groundedness for you specifically so that you
can address the things that are happening in your career and in
your workplace and just feel so much more supported and so much
more at ease and how you're going to do all of that.
So if those are interesting to you, go to my website
kimnickel.com or go into the show notes for the links.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope your year is off to a
great start and I will talk to you next time.
When you're more effective at work, you're happier in your
life, and when you're happier in your life, you're more effective
at work. I can help.
Go to my website, kimnickel.com and sign up for a coaching
consult. It can get better.