1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:18,400 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hi, thanks for joining me today. 3 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,500 I hope you're doing great today. I wanted to talk about Job 4 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:27,700 change and also just recognizing that the relationship we have 5 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:32,700 with our workplace is one of the most significant relationships 6 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,800 that we have. I mean, think about it, it 7 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,300 connects to our sense of identity, our sense of 8 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:43,900 community, our financial well-being, and how that works 9 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:47,900 for us. So So it's not a small thing to 10 00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:53,800 be looking for a new job to be laid off from a job to be fired, 11 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,600 like any kind of job change in your life. 12 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:02,000 Really does have this profound effect. 13 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:06,900 And also I mean, even if you are in a happy relationship with 14 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,900 your work, That's also not insignificant. 15 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:14,900 I mean, think about the effect that a happy relationship in 16 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:19,100 your work has in the entire rest of your life. 17 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,200 I feel now at this stage in my life and my career, I wish that 18 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,300 I'd had a coach or some kind of relationship therapist just to 19 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:34,600 help me get my head clear and to get some clarity around how my 20 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,800 work relationship like my relationship with this 21 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,400 organization. Ation really does affect my 22 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,500 sense of well-being, my sense of identity and what it is that I 23 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,800 want to do while I'm here on the planet. 24 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:50,100 So the reason this topic is coming up right now in the 25 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:56,200 podcast is because there have been so many people in my world 26 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,800 and in the world who are facing all kinds of challenges and 27 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:05,500 changes around their jobs. So many Industries, I've been 28 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,300 disrupted due to covid and shelter in place. 29 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:13,300 And people changing behaviors about, you know, working from 30 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,400 home, and not going out. And just everywhere, I'm seeing 31 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,900 this, and I wanted to share some thoughts with you. 32 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:27,100 Also, in my coaching practice, and in my classes, this has 33 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,900 started to become a topic that's coming up. 34 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:33,400 It's coming up with people who are currently job-seeking with 35 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,400 people who are currently employed, but are thinking about 36 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,800 gosh, I'm not sure I want to To stay at my company anymore 37 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,100 because I'm feeling a little uncomfortable about, you know 38 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:47,200 what I'm what, how I'm seeing the industry affected by covid. 39 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:52,700 I'm also seeing it with people who are first-time managers and 40 00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:58,600 now have the very uncomfortable task of furloughing, people 41 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:04,000 laying people off and we know when they started managing 42 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,900 people at the beginning of this year, this was not what they had 43 00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:12,100 planned was going to Happen. And so that's why we're talking 44 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:16,000 about this today. So, a few things one is that 45 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:24,400 Even if you are not job hunting or, you know, personally 46 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,800 affected, remember too that there might be people in your 47 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,500 personal life who are going through this, but also at work 48 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:36,800 on your team, you might have people that you work with and 49 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,500 maybe their Partners or their family members or their close 50 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:46,500 friends are having jobs disappear, or they're getting 51 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,500 laid off. Or they're just deciding that 52 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,200 their industry is, you know, they need to rethink how they're 53 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:55,400 going to do their work now. So remember that to. 54 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:59,900 So this perspective of as a person who is managing humans, 55 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:03,800 even if it's informally remembering that a person, as a 56 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:08,900 whole human, is also connected to the well-being of others and 57 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,300 that if someone in your personal life is struggling, then it 58 00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:15,500 might affect you, too. So this is also helpful 59 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,600 perspective for you So, a couple of thoughts. 60 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:24,600 If you are actively job searching my number one tip be 61 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:31,700 kind to yourself this process, takes a lot of energy and a ton 62 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:35,300 of emotion, even under the best circumstances. 63 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:42,700 If you have been furloughed or let go or if you've been fired 64 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:47,000 or if you're realizing that, you've outgrown your current 65 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:52,900 company and it's time to go give yourself some Grace. 66 00:04:54,400 --> 00:05:00,800 Be kind, be gentle, realize that this is going to be a little bit 67 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,900 challenging and uncomfortable. So be sweet to yourself. 68 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:08,500 If you did not expect to be job searching right now or if you 69 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:12,300 haven't done it in years, give yourself some Grace. 70 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,900 You're not supposed to know how to do this. 71 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:20,700 You know, like how would, you know you have like the skill of 72 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:25,700 job searching of networking, a writing, a resume, like this is 73 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:30,700 something that nobody knows me. Like, just waking up in the 74 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,500 morning unless you spend a lot of time actually doing it. 75 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,400 So there might be some things that you have to learn. 76 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,200 So give yourself some Grace, be gentle to yourself. 77 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:46,400 Care about your mind and your heart, notice the thoughts, 78 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,600 you're thinking, notice the emotions you're feeling and care 79 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,200 about that because the more that you can get into a good 80 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:57,700 headspace and really create room for all of the emotions. 81 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:02,000 Those two things will help with your both your energy, your 82 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,900 creativity, your resourcefulness, and your 83 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:10,400 ability to just show up to tend to whatever you need to tend to. 84 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:15,200 On this particular day, there will be so many emotions in this 85 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,500 process. Grief is a big one 86 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:26,700 disappointment or anger or fear might show up self-doubt. can 87 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:31,300 come in big and also anxiety with the feeling of uncertainty 88 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:38,300 and also hope As you go through the process of job-seeking, one 89 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:42,800 thing that happens is that all possible, Futures will play out 90 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,000 in your mind and activate your heart. 91 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:50,100 So the mind has an idea, and then the heart has an emotional 92 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:53,000 response to that idea. And even if the idea is 93 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,900 imaginary, the emotional experience is immediate and 94 00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,700 feels very real. So, as you're going through this 95 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:05,200 process, your mind will imagine a best-case scenario. you a 96 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:12,400 worst case scenario and everything in between, this is 97 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:17,300 also why it can get exhausting. So manage your mind, tend to 98 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,700 your heart, just be aware that that is part of what happens 99 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,500 sometimes. Also remember, you know, this is 100 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:28,600 not a timeline that you're in charge of this is something you 101 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:33,300 partner with life in. So you can influence the 102 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:39,200 timeline, you can't control it, you can influence the outcome 103 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:44,200 but you can't control it. And that can create feelings of 104 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,900 powerlessness the under discomfort of the uncertainty, 105 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:53,600 because you don't know how or, when, or if things will work 106 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:58,200 out. So what I do know is this I do 107 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:02,900 know that life loves living itself through you. 108 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,300 Life loves living. It's all for you. 109 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,200 I do know that humans are creative. 110 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,800 You're just made that way. We all. 111 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,000 Are I know that Serendipity is active here and I love 112 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,700 Serendipity because it's a perspective that reminds me that 113 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:26,300 there are people and forces and things happening beyond what I 114 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:31,100 can perceive that I am kind of in this dance with all of these 115 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:37,500 other elements and You never know when something that is 116 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:42,000 exactly, the right person or conversation or idea will show 117 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,700 up in your world. There's this wonderful Rumi poem 118 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,300 and the short part of it says, remember whatever you are 119 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:55,300 looking for. Is also looking for you that to 120 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:59,000 me is the magic of serendipity that things are happening even 121 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,400 without you controlling them, right? 122 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,100 If you go and you dance you don't have to Play every 123 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,500 instrument. You just need to listen to the 124 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:12,000 music, allow for it to invite you and engage with the dance 125 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,700 floor, and the music and just you know, feel it. 126 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:22,900 Another perspective to someone is looking for the skill and the 127 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:27,700 experience and the energy that you have to bring and more than 128 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:31,100 one person is looking to hire right now. 129 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:37,500 There are companies and industries and people that are 130 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:43,300 looking to hire more than one. And so, you know, with one of my 131 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:47,400 clients whose whose job seeking, one of the conversations we had 132 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,900 was The goal is to have lots of conversations. 133 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,100 We don't have to put a lot of pressure on. 134 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:58,200 Okay got a nail this interview. Let's just start by having 135 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:02,400 conversations and let's just take it one conversation at a 136 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,300 time, right? What is like what is it that we 137 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,400 want to have happen in this conversation? 138 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:12,700 Just take it one at a time and the goal is not one job offer. 139 00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,600 The goal is, what if the goal is 3, wouldn't it be nice to have 140 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,600 three offers. So let's have some Oceans and 141 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,500 the process of how we think about it changes. 142 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:26,100 How we feel that changes the energy and that influences the 143 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:30,000 actions that we take, it's all connected, but more than one 144 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:34,600 person is looking to hire right now, let's help make it easy for 145 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,700 them to find you. I want you to remember also that 146 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:43,900 you are designed for growth. You are a human and humans, 147 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:47,500 learn and grow. This has been true since the day 148 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:52,400 you were born. Also take time to rest. 149 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,300 This is also been true since the day you are born and growth 150 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:03,800 requires rest. This doesn't necessarily mean 151 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:10,200 just, you know, watch like an entire Netflix series, but 152 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,200 sometimes resting means, I'm just going to go for a walk and 153 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,400 rest, my brain from my screen time. 154 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:21,300 I will feel rested by giving myself time in nature. 155 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:26,600 I will feel rested by taking a hot bath and just enjoying the 156 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,000 feeling of the water all around me. 157 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:34,800 Take time to Best take time to enjoy and to play. 158 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:40,600 And to let yourself be nourished beyond the narrow scope of the 159 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,300 job because you are so much more than that for this Dynamic, 160 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:49,600 vibrant living being and you need rest. 161 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:57,400 Also celebrate small wins, you have to acknowledge and 162 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,600 appreciate and celebrate. All the Little Steps along the 163 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:06,300 Way doing so will help to nourish and support you and keep 164 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:10,500 you aware that one step at a time, is how you get to where 165 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:14,700 you want to be, and also, just acknowledging and enjoying where 166 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:20,900 you are right now. Just in this one breath, just 167 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:27,200 this one breath celebrate. You are alive, you are here. 168 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:31,700 You are learning, like, I believe in you, you can Get 169 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:37,000 through this, it's okay. Care about your energy, your 170 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:43,700 mindset and your heart space. Let other people know that you 171 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:48,600 are looking. And let people help you to feel 172 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,600 better about this process that can feel very isolating and it 173 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,000 can feel very alone and there can be so many uncomfortable 174 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,100 emotions that come up along the way. 175 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:02,100 So let people help you feel better. 176 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,600 You don't have to do all of this by yourself. 177 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:10,400 And remember, you're bringing something wonderful to the 178 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:17,200 conversation, your skills, your energy, your experience, your 179 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:22,800 care. I want to offer you a lot of 180 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:29,400 love today for being alive for being here, for caring about 181 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:33,300 yourself. When you do it, affects everyone 182 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,700 around you. This is one of the reasons why 183 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:39,600 self care is so important. This is also the idea of by 184 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,100 tending to your own inner whether by really caring about 185 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:47,800 your experience and who you are as a person it does Ripple out 186 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,900 in a A positive and useful way to others. 187 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:56,000 If what you're feeling right now is a lot of uncomfortable, 188 00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:01,700 emotion, grief, or anger, or fear or self-doubt. 189 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,700 Then I want you to bring a lot of love and a lot of tenderness 190 00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:08,400 to the part of you, that's feeling those things. 191 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,800 It's not easy. We all go there from time to 192 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,700 time and when you're in it oh my gosh. 193 00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:20,100 It can feel like the heaviest scariest, most alone, kind of 194 00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:25,900 feeling, it's not fun, but it's part of being human, right? 195 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:32,000 So, I hope that this episode has been helpful for you and maybe 196 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,000 giving you some perspective and ways to think about the other 197 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,900 people in your life right now who might be Going through a 198 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,800 hard time and maybe just need a little bit of human. 199 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,100 Kindness, a little bit of appreciation. 200 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,800 A little reminder that, you know what? 201 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:53,500 Like this is hard, it does take energy one step at a time. 202 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,100 One breath. At a time. 203 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,500 You're not alone in this. You've got some friends. 204 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,400 You've got some support here. All right, thank you so much for 205 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,100 listening. I hope you have a really great 206 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,600 rest of your day. Bye. 207 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,100 Do you want personal confidential help with your 208 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:16,500 situation at work? I offer one-on-one coaching and 209 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:20,700 can help you overcome challenges reach your goals and become a 210 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:25,000 more effective leader. The schedule a consult go to my 211 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:31,200 website, Kim nickel.com coaching and we'll schedule time to talk 212 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,800 about what's going on with you and how I can help talk to you 213 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,300 soon.