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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well. 

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If you are new to this podcast, 
a special welcome to you. 

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I've noticed a lot of new 
listeners lately. 

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I'm very excited to welcome you 
in. 

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You are in the right place to 
learn how to be a better 

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manager, whether you have been 
managing folks for a really long

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time and you're ready for a new 
perspective. or you are new to 

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managing people and you're 
feeling like, you're not exactly

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sure what you're doing, you are 
in the right place and today I 

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wanted to share this idea of 
managing your mind and what I 

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mean by that is okay, you are a 
human, you have a mind, it is 

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filled with thoughts, you have 
lots of experiences, all of this

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shapes, your T''v your 
worldview, how you see things 

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and that shapes the decisions 
you make the way that you build 

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relationships, the way that you 
work with other humans. 

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And we can often overlook this 
part because, when we're at 

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work, you know, we often think I
need to deal with this stuff 

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outside of me and we forget to 
deal with the part on the 

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inside. 
I sometimes think about this as 

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every issue has two. 
The outside part and the inside 

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part, the inside part is where 
you manage your mind and the 

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first place is really 
understanding how your mind 

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works. 
What are the stories that you 

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tell that explain how the world 
Works to you and this starts 

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really, really early. 
So for example, I have two 

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nephews right now, they're five 
and eight. 

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Super sweet boys. 
So cute and a couple of years 

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ago. 
When they were really, really 

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young my brother, their dad had 
taken an exam. 

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He was changing careers. 
He had to take an exam as part 

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of his studies and he did really
well on the exam and this 

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happened all around the 
holidays. 

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So when I learned that, my 
brother did really good on his 

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exam and it was near the 
holidays, I sent them a box of 

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see. 
Is candy. 

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And if you are familiar with 
See's Candy, you know, it's kind

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of a tradition around the 
holidays, especially in 

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California, where I grew up and 
I thought, oh, this will be 

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perfect, I'll send them a big 
box of assorted chocolates, and 

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it will be in celebration of my 
brother's exam and also it'll be

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for the holidays. 
And it'll just be a nice thing 

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to do. 
So I sent them this box of candy

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and I Put a note in it. 
That said, congratulations on 

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doing, so great, on your exam 
and have a wonderful holiday 

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weekend. 
And apparently, when they got 

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this candy and my brother, you 
know, they open the box and he 

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read the card and he's like, oh,
this is from your auntie. 

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You know, she said, she she sent
us this candy. 

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Apparently, the eldest boy 
looked at his father and said, 

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so seriously. 
Well, you Better take more exams

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so that Auntie sends more candy 
I thought, right? 

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That's what we do. 
When we were kids, like, we're 

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trying to put together how we 
think the world works and what 

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mate seem very logical. 
You know, when we were like five

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years old. 
When we take a step back, and 

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take a bigger perspective, we 
realize, oh, that's, that's not 

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actually how it works. 
But at the time he thought, oh 

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my, you know, Dad did great on 
his exam. 

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Auntie sent us candy. 
That means that Dad needs to 

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take more exams, do really? 
Well, we'll get more candy. 

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So, we all do this in different 
kinds of ways. 

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I know for me, one of the ones 
that I had for a really long 

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time, was this thought of if I 
perform really well at work, 

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someone will notice and I will 
get promoted. 

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I didn't realize that's not 
quite how it works because I had

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been really good. 
School and in school, like that 

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is an environment where people 
do pay attention to how you 

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perform and that's directly 
correlated to your advancement 

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to the grades. 
You get to, you know, moving on 

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to the next level. 
And I had just taken for granted

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like I didn't even realize that 
I had this thought. 

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So if I'm doing a good job at 
work, somebody is paying 

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attention and I should just 
automatically get a promotion or

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get a raise the whole idea. 
Idea of having to have an active

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conversation to initiate that 
conversation especially early in

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my career felt so foreign to me 
and it felt so scary this 

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thought, like, but would that be
rude? 

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I mean, isn't someone supposed 
to be paying attention? 

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I just didn't make the mindset 
shift for quite a while until I 

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realized. 
Oh my boss is busy. 

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Have a lot of people to manage, 
they have a lot going on. 

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It's very easy for my good work 
to actually be overlooked. 

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Especially you know, if I'm not 
the one speaking up and 

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advocating for myself and 
telling my boss what I want, I 

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think that's a transition. 
A lot of us go through in our 

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20s and even into our 30s, 
right? 

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Is trying to understand, how do 
we advance, how do we get 

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recognized? 
How do we We have the 

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conversations around what we 
want, and what's required to get

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there and how do we enlist the 
support of others in our 

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organization to help us to move 
forward? 

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So, in terms of managing your 
mind, you want to understand how

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your mind works, you want to 
understand, what are the 

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thoughts that you're holding 
that kind of organize your 

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thinking about the world? 
Sometimes, I like to think of 

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this As though you have a 
library inside your mind and 

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it's filled with books and all 
these books are about how things

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are supposed to be, you know, 
you've got books that describe 

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how other people are supposed to
be, you've got books about how 

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you are supposed to be. 
And all of these books, you've 

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gathered over the years and it 
kind of just sit in the 

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background, you don't always 
notice that they're there until 

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there's a conflict or something 
doesn't go. 

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As you had expected or what 
happens as we rise into levels 

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of leadership and responsibility
and we get older and our 

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careers. 
The way, we've been making 

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decisions about our life and our
work stop being effective like 

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we outgrow that, you know, 
understanding and then we have 

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to choose something new. 
So let me give you an example. 

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Here's something that I think a 
lot of us hold as kind of a 

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general rule like it's in our 
book of how we're supposed to be

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and how the world works. 
You should share. 

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If you have a lot of something 
you should share it. 

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Seems kind of you know, nothing 
special, right? 

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Kind of like yes, of course, if 
I have a lot of something and 

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somebody wants them, you know 
it's a good thing to share. 

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Now, where this can get you in 
trouble is around your calendar 

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and your schedule. 
Just because you have open time 

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on your calendar and somebody 
wants some of that time doesn't 

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always mean, you should give 
that time to them. 

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That is how we Have No 
Boundaries, that is how we 

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overcome it, an exhaust 
ourselves. 

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And this is one of the things 
that I end up teaching and 

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coaching a lot of my clients on 
is, how are you looking at what 

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you're saying, yes to And how 
are you looking at, what is 

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getting on your calendar? 
And why I had one student who 

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said, you know, I've got this 
got all these meetings that I 

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have to do every week and we 
looked at that and I asked her. 

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Well, are there any that you 
don't have to say yes to and she

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had never thought of that 
before. 

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She was operating from this 
perspective of you know, if 

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there's time on my calendar and 
someone asks for a meeting, I 

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have to say yes but And as a 
result her calendar was filled 

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with meetings. 
She didn't have any time set 

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aside for doing focused work, 
you know, heads down no 

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interruptions and it hadn't 
occurred to her that just 

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because she has an open spot on 
her calendar. 

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She can actually choose to keep 
it that way. 

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And not simply give that time to
somebody else. 

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And so, when you realize, okay, 
the thought that I've Been using

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to guide me in this very broad 
sense like in this example share

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and somebody wants some time 
with me. 

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And so I should give that to 
them because I you know, I have 

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some open time then what happens
is we need to look at, is that 

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useful here? 
Is that serving you? 

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And how do you want to make 
decisions about this category or

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the situation of thing? 
Like how Do you want to think 

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about making decisions rather 
than from that default book that

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sort of default sense of? 
Oh any time somebody asks I 

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should say yes. 
How do you want to make 

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decisions instead? 
I know for me lately I've become

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really aware that I do need 
dedicated time where nothing is 

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scheduled and this has been so 
hard for me because I tend to 

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get excited about things. 
There are a lot of Of, you know,

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opportunities, both personally 
and professionally and my 

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tendency is to be a little over 
generous in scheduling things, 

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but when I do that, what happens
is I start to get exhausted, I 

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start to get a little bit 
resentful. 

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Like I'll look at my calendar 
and think who put all this stuff

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on here. 
Oh right, I did why did I do 

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that? 
Oh, cuz I was just so excited. 

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You know, to say yes and to be 
available that is not a 

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successful long-term strategy. 
It is not sustainable. 

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So instead you want to really 
pause and question, okay, how am

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I currently thinking about 
things? 

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And how do I want to make 
decisions about, you know, 

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calendars or about commitments 
or about relationships? 

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What's great too? 
Is that as a manager, you are 

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often a role model in ways that 
you don't realize Eyes. 

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And so when you are really 
intentional and when you're 

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making decisions from a mind, 
that is really grounded and 

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thought and thought through when
it's, not simply being reactive,

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but you're really choosing to be
responsive that also has a 

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positive effect on the people 
that you work with and the 

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people around you, that's also 
how we create a microclimate. 

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Within our organization, one of 
my clients over the last couple 

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of years has built up a team 
that she's trained and she's 

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really created an incredibly 
High. 

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Performing High trust culture 
within her bigger organization. 

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And initially, you know, she had
a lot of Doubt. 

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Like, am I doing this right? 
You know, I don't see other 

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managers or other leaders 
addressing their teams in this 

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way or working with their team. 
As in this way, what's been 

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really exciting to see is that 
as she's come to really trust 

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herself and make decisions based
on, you know, here are my values

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and here's how I want to create 
this team. 

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Now other folks are noticing how
she and her team work and 

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they're like, how did you do 
that? 

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Like, how do you have such a 
solid team of really high 

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performing people who Are a joy 
to work with and are focused and

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supportive and like how did you 
do that? 

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And it's really cool like it's 
just really cool to see so you 

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create micro cultures little 
micro climates within your 

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organization based on the way 
that you're thinking, how you're

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managing your mind, your 
awareness of how your mind tends

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to work and you know how you 
make decisions and all of that 

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ends up having this really cool 
ripple effect. 

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So one thing I see a lot is that
as a human when we Face 

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uncertainty, one of the things 
the Mind tends to do is it fills

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uncertainty with - possibility? 
It's interesting to notice how 

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quickly the brain goes to create
potential negative situations. 

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What if it goes wrong? 
What if this doesn't turn out 

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the way I thought it would, you 
know, like All the scary things 

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whenever we're faced with the 
unknown. 

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The - ideation just comes right 
in builds a whole Vivid 

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scaffolding and then all of a 
sudden were feeling anxious and 

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fearful and worried and you 
know, things could go great, 

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right? 
When things are uncertain it's 

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also possible. 
Things could go better than you 

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had imagined, but our tendency 
is not to do that. 

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The tendency is for the mind to 
go into uncertainty and to 

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create a lot of fear to fill 
that space. 

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So you want to be aware of that.
You want to be able to notice 

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when your brain is doing that so
that you can pause. 

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Get a little bit of a reality 
check, calm yourself, get 

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grounded and then consider, you 
know, is this helpful? 

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Like how else do I want to 
address this ordeal with this? 

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I think this is also really 
helpful. 

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Remember, if you are onboarding 
people who are remote, one of 

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the ways we tend to learn as 
humans is by observation, when 

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we observe how things work, when
we observe, how other people 

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talk to each other, when we can 
just observe, you know, the 

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energy and the very subtle 
communication Styles. 

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We learn a lot simply by 
observing and when folks are 

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Being on boarded remotely. 
They're unable to learn through 

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that method because they're only
view into the workplace and into

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how other people communicate and
relate with one another is 

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through a screen and through 
written messages, and it can be 

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really scary. 
And all of the uncertainty of, 

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oh my gosh, am I in the right 
place? 

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You know, my insecurities and 
impostor syndrome can flare up. 

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Oh, I need to prove myself right
away. 

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I can't really see how people 
are communicating or working 

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here. 
I don't know if I'm 

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communicating too much or not 
enough. 

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There's just a lot more 
uncertainty when we are 

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onboarding, folks, remotely. 
And so the more clear that you 

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can be about that, like as you 
understand how to manage your 

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mind and you understand how To 
help other people manage their 

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mind. 
Then it allows us to be more 

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effective to create more safety 
to get everyone onto the same 

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page and really working together
in the most effective way. 

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So ask yourself to how do you 
like to learn? 

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What do you do when you're faced
with uncertainty? 

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Like understand where your Goes 
and what your thoughts are 

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doing. 
Because if you've ever heard 

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this phrase, what got you here, 
won't get you there. 

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That also is what we're talking 
about when we're talking about 

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how to manage your mind, the 
thoughts and the, you know, ways

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that you've been dealing with 
things that have gotten you, 

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this level of success, that 
might not be what helps you 

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level up in this new place, 
right? 

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Right and with the new 
challenges that you're facing so

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we'll talk more about this in 
the coming weeks I think it's a 

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really useful topic. 
I think there's a lot of 

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different angles to it that I 
want to explore with you but for

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now just you know consider this 
thought like managing your mind 

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like you are the first person 
that you manage before you 

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manage anybody else notice and 
understand. 

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How does your mind work? 
What are those? 

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Stories that you hold, that 
explain the world to you, that 

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might be getting in your way. 
What do you do when you're faced

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with uncertainty? 
Is that - creativity? 

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Something? 
That happens really quickly for 

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you or not, just have an 
understanding, the more you can 

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learn about how your mind is 
working the easier, it is to 

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manage it and the easier, it is 
to work effectively. 

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With other people and like a 
whole range of people. 

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So that is what I wanted to 
share with you today. 

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Thank you so much for listening.
I hope you have a really great 

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week and I will talk to you next
time if you know it's time to 

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level F but you feel your 
perfectionism Self Doubt and 

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uncertainty getting in the way 
then come work with me. 

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00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,700
We'll have six months of 
one-on-one. 

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00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,400
One coaching and it all starts 
by going to my website, 

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00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:16,500
chemicalguys.com coaching and 
joining my waitlist talk to you 

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00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,200
soon.
