1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,600 Welcome to the new manager podcast. 2 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:17,300 I'm your host, Kim nickel. Welcome. 3 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:20,300 Today. I want to talk with you about 4 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:26,700 the best manager you ever had. This is one of my favorite 5 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:31,000 things to ask when I'm teaching or working with someone around 6 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,700 this topic of how to become a manager is to ask them. 7 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:38,200 Think about the best manager you ever had. 8 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:44,000 What made them great. Now, when I think about my own 9 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:47,900 life and my own career, there are actually two people who 10 00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:52,400 really stand out one of them was someone I worked with. 11 00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:57,100 Oh my goodness 20 years ago. I still remember this person 12 00:00:57,100 --> 00:01:02,400 very clearly and this person was not my direct manager. 13 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,500 He was the manager above my manager. 14 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,900 So he was like two levels at and I remember one day. 15 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:16,800 I was working on a project. Act and he came by and just 16 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,300 wanted to say hi, guys. Like I know, how's it going? 17 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:21,100 And I said, oh, yeah, I'm working on this thing. 18 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,700 We've got to get it out and he's like, okay, cool. 19 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:28,800 What can I do to help? And I remember that it 20 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:34,100 completely caught me by surprise because I was not expecting him 21 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:41,200 to be available to help or even to want to help because up until 22 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,400 that point. I think I'd really experienced 23 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,600 managers as people who give direction or give work or give 24 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:56,000 tasks but didn't actually show up as I'm here for you and I 25 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,900 want to Help you. It was really new to me and 20 26 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,800 years later. I still remember it clearly and 27 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,100 sometimes it takes something just that small to really make a 28 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:11,200 difference. Just to say, what's going on. 29 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:16,300 What can I do to help more recently? 30 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,500 I've had the pleasure of working with a manager who? 31 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:26,400 Kind of blew my mind with how much appreciation and respect he 32 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,800 showed. And it was one of those 33 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:33,400 situations where I didn't realize that I had not been 34 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,200 experiencing that until we started working together and I 35 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,300 started to wonder, wow, like I feel great. 36 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,200 What is it about working with this person? 37 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,700 That makes me feel so good. And I realized this is a person 38 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:51,400 who is really comfortable sharing, what they are. 39 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:56,300 She ate about what I'm doing. Well, and when they offer me 40 00:02:56,300 --> 00:03:00,400 feedback on what I need to do differently, they do it in a way 41 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:05,700 that feels like we are partnering together to develop 42 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:09,700 my own skill and potential. There was never any shame or 43 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:13,700 never any guilt or never any sense of you know, you're 44 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:19,600 falling short, they did feedback so well and with so much 45 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,700 kindness that I I really felt both respected. 46 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:27,600 Like this person could see the potential and could understand 47 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,200 what at you know what I was doing and they really valued my 48 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:34,000 style and my Approach and when they gave me the feedback of, 49 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,200 okay, so here are some things that I see that you could be 50 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,200 doing differently and it will help you. 51 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,300 It came from such a helpful place. 52 00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:49,900 And that was astonishing to me in how new it was all of which 53 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:53,900 is just to say, Also for perspective that you will 54 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,900 encounter people in the course of your work life and they might 55 00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,200 be wonderful people but not necessarily great managers. 56 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:04,300 And so, when you begin to have experiences with those who 57 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:08,100 really stand out for you, really take a moment to notice. 58 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:14,400 What is it about this person? The way they are managing me the 59 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,700 way they are showing up as a leader to me. 60 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,899 What is it about? Then? 61 00:04:18,899 --> 00:04:22,100 That's making this really? Work. 62 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:26,500 Well, because the insights that you gather can then provide a 63 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:31,900 kind of guidance for you and how you want to show up and to 64 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:37,100 manage the people that you have within your scope of care. 65 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,600 And it's also a really great reminder that the way you 66 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:46,900 manage, others is a choice. And very often. 67 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:53,500 We do not bring intentional choice to the way that we 68 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:57,400 manage. We are reactive, or we say, oh, 69 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,500 that's just my personality. Or we have all of these other 70 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:05,000 thoughts that get in the way of really being intentional with 71 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,600 how you'd like to show up. And as a point of contrast. 72 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,800 Let me share another short story. 73 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,800 Many years ago. I worked for a company and Was a 74 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:19,800 person who I worked with who was also a manager. 75 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,000 We were both in a like a director level role. 76 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,700 We both had teams that we managed and so I never reported 77 00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:31,800 to this person, but we talked about our teams and just how we 78 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,100 were you know, how we were managing and leading them. 79 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:41,200 And I remember one day it was around annual reviews. 80 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:46,600 And in that company, there were three levels that you Could give 81 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,600 you could say someone was exceeding expectations. 82 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:57,300 They were meeting expectations or they were below expectations. 83 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:01,000 So for each one of our people on our team, we had to evaluate 84 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,400 them and give them a designation. 85 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:08,300 And so this woman and I were speaking about our experience of 86 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,100 going through this process with our teams. 87 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:16,300 Remember she kind of side and rolled her eyes and said the 88 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:20,000 expectation is that people should always. 89 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:26,200 Exceed expectations when they don't my job is to tell them 90 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,700 where they're falling short people shouldn't need praise. 91 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:33,800 They should just do their job. I remember thinking. 92 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:39,000 Oh, oh my goodness. I am glad that I do not report 93 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,100 to you because that would not work for me. 94 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:48,200 I mean, I really want to believe that there is a little bit more 95 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,200 sense of partnership and a little bit more. 96 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,200 Appreciation for the work I do. And it's not just taken for 97 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,500 granted. But that was the choice that 98 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,800 this person made. So you get to choose for 99 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,800 yourself. When you are a manager, you get 100 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,300 to choose. How do you show it for your 101 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,700 team? Okay. 102 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:10,800 So when I asked my students tell me about the best manager you 103 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,200 ever had here are the kinds of things they say. 104 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:20,100 Open and communicative great at communication. 105 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:27,000 Direct caring finds common ground to build a relationship. 106 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:33,000 Their kind respectful. They gave praise. 107 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,000 They were structured but hands off. 108 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:40,100 So no micromanagement. They provide proper training. 109 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:46,200 Valued work life balance. Create a positive environment. 110 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:54,200 There's Trust. And when I asked my students, 111 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:58,300 you know, how did it feel to have a manager like that? 112 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,800 They say things like I was excited to come to work. 113 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:08,400 I felt heard I felt like there was open communication. 114 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,200 I felt respect that. They respected me and I 115 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:16,900 respected them, too. And I'll tell you, when I ask 116 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:25,400 this question, people light up. people light up because when we 117 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:32,200 have a work relationship with someone who we feel, respects us 118 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:38,799 appreciates us, is there to support us as we grow when they 119 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:42,100 are kind, when they notice the things we do well and makes a 120 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:47,300 tremendous difference, not just in our work and this, you know, 121 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:50,600 the sense of ourselves as a professional person, but just as 122 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:56,100 a human, I really believe that as a human, we all want to feel 123 00:08:56,100 --> 00:09:03,400 appreciated and respected, we all I feel like we matter and it 124 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:08,000 can be easy to not know how to create that for people that 125 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,900 work, or it can be easy for others to overlook that part 126 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,900 because it's an invisible quality. 127 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,300 It's really hard to put that into a spreadsheet and measure 128 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:25,200 it but it's absolutely. Valuable and people remember, I 129 00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:29,100 mean you remember don't you the best manager you ever had? 130 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,000 I bet you do. And the reason I wanted to share 131 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,000 this topic with you today and talk about it is because there 132 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,700 are three ways that you can use this question to really help 133 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:49,400 yourself grow. So first is to ask yourself, ask 134 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:53,300 yourself the question when you think of the best manager you 135 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:56,300 ever had. What were they like and as you 136 00:09:56,300 --> 00:10:00,300 answer this question from your own experience just notice what 137 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,600 comes up. What kinds of things do you 138 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,300 list? Was it their communication 139 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,600 style? Was it? 140 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:13,900 Their trust was it the way they gave you autonomy to they would 141 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:18,100 say what to You but they are. They Sorry autonomy. 142 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,800 They would tell you like what needed to happen, but they let 143 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,000 you figure out the way you wanted to do it. 144 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,700 What was it about them? That made them great. 145 00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:29,500 And as you generate your own personal list, you can use that 146 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:33,600 as kind of a guide and it will help you to get clear on your 147 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,900 own experience of what having a great manager is like. 148 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,800 So that's number one, ask yourself. 149 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:47,900 Second, ask your team. And see what people say. 150 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,400 Because if you ask your team, hey, tell me about the best 151 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,200 manager you ever had. What were they? 152 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:59,800 Like, it will help you to learn? What do they value? 153 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,500 What do they like in a manager relationship? 154 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,800 And remember that different people might have different 155 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:12,100 answers or you might also see a pattern in what people like. 156 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,600 And this is a nice question because even if you don't have a 157 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,700 direct report, if you're managing B, Once it can still be 158 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:24,000 really Illuminating and create a really nice conversation. 159 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:29,800 So you can present it in a very informal kind of away. 160 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,200 Like, it doesn't have to be this big serious question, but really 161 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,200 from this perspective of, you know, I have been doing a lot of 162 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,100 thinking about what it like, what does it mean to be a good 163 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,400 manager? And I'm curious to know from 164 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,000 you. What's the best manager you ever 165 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,000 had? What were they like? 166 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,900 And you might be surprised by what you learn or by what people 167 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,400 share. Be aware. 168 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,900 Sometimes people have an easier time talking about the negative 169 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,600 things, so they might, they might flip it on you. 170 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,300 You might say, well, let me tell you about the worst manager I 171 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,600 have ever had. And if they do, see if you can 172 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,900 gently redirect them. So, you know what? 173 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,700 We can get to that, but right now, I just feel super curious. 174 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,800 Like have you had an amazing manager? 175 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,200 And if so, what made them, great? 176 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,600 What was it like, Especially right now is so many people are 177 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,700 working from home or trying to figure out. 178 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:30,300 How do I manage in a pandemic or who, how do I manage in the 179 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,700 midst of all of these conversations around race and 180 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,000 equity and diversity and inclusion. 181 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:42,600 It can be a really useful question for creating 182 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,800 conversation around. How do people like to be 183 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,900 treated? What is it? 184 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:54,700 That matters to them? And third is you could ask your 185 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:58,000 manager. You could ask this in your 186 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,000 one-on-ones when you want to shift the conversation from 187 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:04,400 being down in the weeds, to a bigger perspective. 188 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,900 And this one is kind of fun because you can ask your 189 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:09,500 manager. Tell me about the best manager 190 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:13,100 you ever had. From this perspective of being 191 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:18,200 curious and wanting to expand your own thinking about what 192 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,600 does it create manager? Do, what is it? 193 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,300 That makes them good. What is it? 194 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:29,100 That lets them stand out and be memorable as someone who has 195 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,500 really done a great job. What does that mean? 196 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:35,000 And the nice thing too, is that when you have this conversation 197 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:39,100 with your manager, sometimes you can get a little bit of insight 198 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:45,100 about what they You and how they like to work with people and it 199 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:49,600 lets you connect also, just as humans as humans who work with 200 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,000 other humans and some of those experiences have been really 201 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:59,200 treasured, the more clarity, you get around those invisible 202 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,300 qualities as you can begin to articulate them and understand 203 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,800 them for yourself, then you get to ask yourself. 204 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,700 Okay, how can I be a great manager in this? 205 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:17,400 Ants for this person or these people, how can I be open? 206 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,300 And communicative? How can I be direct? 207 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:27,200 But also caring? How can I show respect? 208 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,600 How can I offer? Praise and appreciation? 209 00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:37,400 Where do I need to provide more structure, but also be hands-off 210 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:43,500 and not micromanage people. What kind of training might? 211 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:48,300 My people need? How do I feel about work-life 212 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,400 balance? And I'll tell you that right 213 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,600 now? That's one of the really 214 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,100 challenging items with a lot of people as so many people are 215 00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:59,800 working from home and have lost that. 216 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,200 Spatial distinction between workspace and home space. 217 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:09,000 So for a lot of people were asking these new questions about 218 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,200 what does it mean to be a great manager today? 219 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:18,300 Now, given whatever unexpected circumstances you're faced with, 220 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:23,000 as we create this new sense of how do we work together in our 221 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:28,900 current and emerging reality? So, as you continue to ask these 222 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:33,300 questions and To have conversations with others. 223 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,000 Just notice what begins to happen? 224 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:45,300 See where it takes you. I believe that it will help to 225 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:50,800 create relationships that are not just more effective and 226 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:56,300 productive at work, but are also really nourishing and really 227 00:15:56,300 --> 00:16:00,700 connected in a way that feels really good as humans. 228 00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:05,700 So thanks so much for listening. That is our episode for today. 229 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:12,500 I'll be back again later with more ideas about how to be A new 230 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:19,400 manager. Do you want personal 231 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,200 confidential help with your situation at work? 232 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:26,500 I offer one-on-one coaching and can help you overcome challenges 233 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:31,100 reach your goals and become a more effective leader to 234 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:35,500 schedule a consult. Go to my website, Kim nickel.com 235 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:40,000 coaching and we'll schedule time to talk about what's going on 236 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,100 with you and how I can help. Talk to you soon.