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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here, and I hope
you're doing well as we get 

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started, I wanted to invite you 
to work with me one-on-one. 

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You can go into the show notes 
and you'll find a link to 

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schedule time on my calendar on,
the consult will talk more about

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what's going on with you. 
The challenges you're facing and

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how I can help we work together 
for six months. 

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We meet every week and It is the
most fun thing ever, and I'm 

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saying that from two 
perspectives. 

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One is when I was a manager, my 
manager had no time to Mentor 

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me. 
She was just really busy and she

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thought, you know, you'll figure
it out on your own and I did but

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it would have been really nice 
to have someone who was there. 

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Just for me on my side that I 
could meet with every week and 

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talk through. 
Okay, this is what's going on. 

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This is how I'm thinking about 
it. 

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This is what I'm feeling worried
about and have someone to be a 

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thought partner for me just to 
help me see more clearly. 

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What I, what I was going through
because there were times when 

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things just felt a little 
chaotic, and there wasn't really

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a roadmap and having a neutral 
party. 

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Well, I say neutral in the sense
that it's not a colleague. 

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So they're not going to have any
In about me in the workplace and

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neutral in the sense that it's 
not friends and family because 

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as much as friends and family 
love and support us and want us 

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to do. 
Well they also have opinions. 

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They have opinions about what's 
good for you or what you should 

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do. 
And that's not always helpful 

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and so having someone who's 100%
On Your Side asking questions so

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that you can think through your 
own thinking and get your Our 

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own Clarity and your own 
strategy. 

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And just have a thought, partner
is really fun from the client 

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side. 
And then for me as a coach, I 

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love getting to work with my 
clients one-on-one because we 

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take all of these Concepts and 
we get to connect them with the 

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individual person, their 
personality, their story, their 

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preferences, we really start to 
customize and fine-tune the 

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concepts so that you can 
implement Them and apply them 

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and make use of them in the most
efficient way possible. 

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And it's a lot of fun because 
hey, there's no homework. 

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I'm not going to make you read 
anything extra, it really is 

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like you land in the space of 
coaching. 

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We have time each week to get 
curious and unpack and unravel 

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what's going on. 
And as we do that and you start 

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to feel better, you say, oh 
okay, I think I know how I want 

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to approach this. 
I see this in a new light. 

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Oh, I hadn't thought of that 
before. 

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Oh, that's a really interesting 
perspective. 

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Okay, ha. 
Now that you ask me, I can think

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of it this way and then you just
go into the world. 

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It's like coming in and getting 
like, a new prescription on your

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glasses. 
You just don't even realize how 

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fuzzy your vision is and then 
when you get that little 

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adjustment, even if it's really 
small, when you see things more 

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clearly everything becomes 
easier. 

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And what we have is, we have six
months, which means as the 

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insights happen, you then have 
this nice long runway for 

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implementation to make it study 
and sustainable. 

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So it lasts, so that's coaching.
That's why I love it from both 

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sides of the coaching 
relationship. 

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And if you want to work with me,
what US meet and talk, that'll 

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be a lot of fun. 
So the topic for today, Is about

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making good use of your time. 
And this topic is important in a

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few different ways. 
If you've ever felt overwhelmed,

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that often happens when we feel,
I have too many things to do, I 

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don't know where to begin. 
I don't have enough time. 

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I don't have time to learn the 
things. 

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I don't know, I feel all this 
pressure. 

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So when we're feeling 
overwhelmed, there's often a 

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time element. 
And so thinking about Out how we

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make good, use of our time, can 
help to alleviate the feeling of

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overwhelm. 
It's also a great topic that 

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connects a bit with boundaries. 
So when we ask ourselves, what 

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am I saying? 
Yes to and why what am I saying?

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No to and why, what are the 
agreements I have made with 

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myself about how I make 
commitments. 

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And what I give my time too Then
that also comes into play. 

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So if we don't have good 
boundaries, we end up 

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overextending ourselves. 
We end up not doing the most 

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strategic useful work, but 
instead end up kind of blowing 

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out our capacity working all of 
the hours burning ourselves out,

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not using our time in the best 
way. 

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And then, you know, we often 
think of, why am I not using my 

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time? 
Well, and we think of Lots of 

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external factors, maybe I don't 
have enough resources, or I 

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don't have enough guidance, but 
there's a lot of internal 

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factors that suck our time away 
to, and I'm thinking 

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specifically of things like 
stress, anxiety, rumination. 

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Like, if you're laying in bed, 
at the end of the day and your 

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brain can't turn off, because 
you keep thinking about all the 

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work you have to do, or you 
think. 

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Ink about the conversation. 
You've been avoiding avoiding 

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conversations. 
Also ends up sucking out the 

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time because it is exhausting 
number one. 

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All the anxiety of I need to 
have this conversation. 

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I don't want to because it will 
be uncomfortable. 

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So, you know, I'll find 
something else that needs doing.

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And there's always something 
else that needs doing so when 

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we're in that avoidance because 
of the discomfort, then whatever

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is on the other side. 
Of that conversation whether 

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it's a request or whether it's 
giving bad news or whether it's 

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simply confronting a problem and
saying, hey, we need to pause 

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and address this all of that 
then gets delayed because we're 

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not having that conversation. 
So how do we make good? 

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Use of our time? 
And here's the perspective that 

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I want to share with you, I 
recently Was thinking about this

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in a very different way, than I 
normally do, and I found it to 

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be kind of exciting and fun, so 
I'm glad I get to share it with 

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you. 
Now, if you are a numbers 

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person, you're going to love 
this. 

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And if you want to take some 
notes to write this down and see

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it for yourself, then take a 
moment to get a pen and a piece 

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of paper and here we go. 
So we're going to look at the 

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math of time for just a moment. 
We have 24 hours in the day. 

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Let us assume that eight of 
those hours are sleeping hours, 

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you know, more or less 8 hours. 
That means you have 16 hours. 

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When you are doing a wake 
things, you have 16 hours of, 

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wake time to do all of the 
living things that you do in 

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your weakness. 
And some of those are work 

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things, some of those are 
personal things, it's all of the

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things that happen when you are 
not asleep, when you are an 

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awake human going through your 
day. 

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Now, those 16 hours, we have 
seven days in the week. 

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So in the week, you have 112 
hours of being awake. 

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We have four weeks in the month,
which means we have Eat waking 

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hours a month. 
So on average, in any given 

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month, you have four hundred and
Forty-Eight Hours that you are 

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allocating to all of your life. 
Things not the sleep stuff, but 

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the work, the family, the 
eating, the brushing your teeth.

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The could travel commute 
vacation time watching a movie 

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All of the things that happen 
when you're awake, you have four

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hundred and Forty-Eight Hours 
for that in the course of the 

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month. 
Now when you ask yourself, how 

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am I making decisions about how 
I use that time? 

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A lot of it is going to be from 
habit or routine. 

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This is actually a good thing. 
This is a very energetically 

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efficient thing about the brain.
So when you wake up in the 

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morning, you don't have Spend a 
lot of energy thinking, oh, what

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happens next? 
You know, you probably get out 

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of the bed, you have some kind 
of routine, maybe you go and 

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make coffee, maybe you put on 
some exercise clothes and you 

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work out, maybe you take some 
quiet time for your own personal

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reflection or maybe you hop out 
of bed at the last minute. 

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No, brush your hair. 
Get on Zoom. 

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There you go. 
There's there are things that 

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you just sort of do. 
And you don't really have to 

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think about it. 
It's just, oh, this is what I do

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at this time and then you have 
things that you do, because you 

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feel like you should And you 
have things that you do because 

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they are agreements that you 
made, you know, with your kids 

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or your partner, or your work or
yourself, you know, there are 

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things that you choose to do. 
So it is important than when we 

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think about what is behind the 
way I make decisions about how I

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use an allocate that time and 
this is where coaching comes 

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back into this picture. 
So with my Science we meet once 

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a week, that's just about four 
hours a month. 

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And what that means for hours a 
month is less than one percent 

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of your total waking hours, four
hours out of four hundred. 

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And Forty-Eight Hours is less 
than 1%. 

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Of all of the waking hours. 
And what's fantastic is that in,

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that less than 1%. 
That's where we have time to 

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slow down. 
Pause, reflect and figure out 

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how are you making decisions? 
What are you, avoiding? 

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What are you spending your time 
on? 

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How much of it is in reactive 
mode versus Proactive or 

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responsive mode? 
How much of it is in strategic 

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thinking versus task execution? 
And when we start to build this 

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in what it means is you spend 
less time in avoidance and 

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stress and anxiety and 
wondering, like, am I doing it 

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right? 
And, you know, just dealing with

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all of the emotion of it, it 
actually gives you a very steady

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place to come and kind of fine 
tune your thinking and get more 

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clarity. 
So that as you go forward, you 

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may Better use of your time. 
We interrupt some patterns we 

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create new ones but it's all 
based on. 

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Let's arrive in the present 
moment. 

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Take a look at what's going on. 
Look at where you want to be, 

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what are the challenges you're 
facing and then how can we think

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through what the best 
approaches? 

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So, let me share an example with
you. 

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I have a client and She was in 
the habit of responding to 

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emails right away as soon as an 
email came in, she would open up

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the email read it and try to 
address it very quickly. 

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And her thinking at the time 
was, I don't want my inbox to 

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grow with all these things and 
responding right away is a good 

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thing. 
It is good to respond so I don't

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leave anybody waiting. 
And her thinking was I don't 

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want to be the bottleneck, I 
don't want things to be waiting 

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on me. 
So I want to respond immediately

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now the underlying idea makes a 
lot of sense and it comes from a

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really good place but the 
downside was that she was 

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allowing every inbox, message to
interrupt her. 

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And so she wasn't able to have 
uninterrupted time for deep 

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thinking and force TJ thinking 
she was context switching 

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frequently and so it just 
interrupted the quality of 

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attention that she was able to 
give two tasks that required 

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more focused time. 
The other thing that happened 

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was that, you know, people would
realize, oh, I just need to 

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email this person because she 
responds, right away, and she 

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ended up creating a kind of 
dependency because She had 

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essentially trained people that 
her behavior was. 

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If you email me, I'll message 
you right away, and people would

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email her and it wasn't 
necessarily like a thoughtful 

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email. 
It's hard to get a little bit, a

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little bit over dependent. 
Right? 

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And so, when we talked through 
this, you know, part of the work

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that we had to do together was 
understanding, what were the 

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emotions and the stories that 
were driving her choices. 

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And how could we honor her 
intention and her desire to A 

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great team player. 
While also realizing that, you 

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know what, maybe being 
immediately reactive to every 

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message is actually not in 
service of the goals, she has 

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for her team. 
So the goal she has of helping 

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them become less dependent on 
her, empowering them to make 

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decisions and judgment calls. 
Also, her intention of being a 

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leader who could take a more 
strategic View and have Time to 

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think through strategy so she 
could then come back and 

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communicate, clearly what that 
strategy is to her team. 

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And also it had her starting to 
feel resentful. 

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She started to feel resentful 
for all of the inbox messages 

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and she wasn't holding 
boundaries around them. 

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And even though it was coming 
from this good place, I want to 

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be really helpful. 
It ended up creating this 

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resentment because the 
relationship too. 

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Was not as functional as she 
wanted it to be. 

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And so if you've ever felt 
resentment, you know, it kind of

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burns like a little coal and it 
gets heavier and heavier and it 

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can slip out and become snarky 
or passive aggressive, even if 

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you don't mean to, but that 
emotion under there starts to 

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kind of leak out through your 
behavior and it ends up creating

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other kinds of problems. 
So, instead, Said as we started 

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to unpack and understand, okay, 
what is her behavior? 

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What is it creating in terms of,
you know, the reality of her 

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workday? 
What are the emotions that are 

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coming up? 
What are the uncomfortable 

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emotions that she might have to 
face in terms of having a 

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difficult conversation or 
establishing work practices? 

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It ended up being actually a 
very simple solution. 

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We take an experimental 
approach. 

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You know, we ask are you a 
person who has more focused 

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energy in the morning, in the 
afternoon in the night, if you 

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could choose for yourself on, 
would that be? 

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She said, oh my gosh, if I could
just have like two hours in the 

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morning, that would completely 
change everything. 

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So then we thought, okay great. 
So let's design for that and 

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let's try it out and see what 
happens. 

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It's not about being right or 
wrong, it's about being present,

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it's about being intentional. 
It's about trying, Things. 

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And then getting the information
from the reality of it rather 

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than the rumination and the 
speculation, which honestly, 

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your brain can do for years and 
it just exhaust. 

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You ask me how I know I have 
been there. 

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So once we started to understand
you know, the situation that 

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felt complex and outside of her 
control. 

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She actually found a point of 
Leverage to make a change and it

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ended up being a very elegant 
solution. 

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Ian that everyone was fine with.
She just let everybody know. 

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Hey, I'm, you know, blocking 
this time on my calendar and I 

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will respond to emails, you 
know, after this time, if it's 

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super urgent, let me know 
otherwise, like let's talk about

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it later and giving herself that
practice and feeling discomfort 

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that making the choice anyway. 
From a place of this is going to

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be better for us and how we work
together. 

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So it took some courage, it took
a little bit of, uh, You're 

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standing all of the emotions and
facing the stories and seeing 

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them clearly so that she could 
try something new and make a 

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different choice that actually 
ended up working better for 

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everyone. 
And you know what also is great 

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is that been her team got to 
have a manager who wasn't 

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feeling resentful about them. 
If you've ever had a manager and

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you thought I feel like they are
maybe not really happy with me. 

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I feel like my manager is on 
edge all the time. 

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Even your best intentions if 
you're feeling that resentment 

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or that anxiety it's going to 
emerge. 

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One of the things about us 
humans. 

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We are so perceptive and we are 
very keenly tuned in to the 

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emotional quality of those 
around us on a very subconscious

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level. 
Even if we don't understand it 

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we can often sense when 
something is a little bit tense 

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and it makes a huge difference. 
France and how we communicate, 

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how we work together. 
So that is what I wanted to 

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share with you. 
This thought of making good use 

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of your time of noticing, how do
you make decisions about how you

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use your time and realizing 
that, when you pause to reflect 

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to explore, you know what you're
avoiding? 

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Why you're making the decisions.
You are what are any unresolved?

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Emotions or unprocessed emotions
that you're carrying with you. 

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The more you can face an address
that the more energy you have 

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four things. 
You care about the better 

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relationships and work 
practices. 

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You can begin to establish with 
your team and then the less 

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pressure you'll feel for 
yourself. 

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So it's a win-win, everybody 
wins. 

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All right, that is what I wanted
to share with you today. 

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Thank you so much for listening 
and I'll see you next time. 

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Hey, Or you go. 
If you like this podcast, please

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leave a review. 
Tell me why you listen and what 

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00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,500
has helped you? 
Thanks so much. 

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I'll see you next time.