Well, hello, friends. Thank you so much for joining me
for another episode of Reading Michael Jackson.
I am your host, Lena, and I'm so happy to be here with you to
kick off the final chapter of Moonwalk.
Oh my God, can't believe we're already here.
We have 4 episodes, official episodes rather left of this
season. These next three episodes will
be covering the final chapter, Chapter 6, entitled All You Need
is Love, All I Need is Love and Michael Jackson.
Isn't that one and the same Anyway, So I would like to spare
you a very long introduction this week and try our best to
just get, you know, right into the action of this chapter.
So in our previous episode and previous Chapter 5, we covered
primarily the Thriller era in terms of the creation of the
Thriller album, the music videos and short films and Michael
winning Grammy Awards. There's a lot still from that
era we haven't covered yet. And it's a little wild to think
that everything we know that's left between, say, 1984 and
1987, there's a lot left to cover in one chapter.
So I'm very curious to see how Michael approaches this.
I say as if I haven't read this book several times, but in all
reality, it's been a while, you know?
And doing this in depth reading with all of you certainly is a
different experience for me than when I've just read this on my
own. I hope it is for you as well.
We'll get started very shortly. But up at the top, I did just
want to mention something. As we are getting closer and
closer to the end of Season 2 of Reading Michael Jackson, as well
as getting closer and closer to the biopic, I would love to hear
from you. What would you like to see me
cover in Season 3 of Reading Michael Jackson?
The first two seasons were a bit obvious, right?
I mean, Michael wrote two books, Dancing the Dream in Moonwalk,
and these first two seasons were the opportunity to talk about
them. But what else is there?
There's a ton more Michael Rowe songs.
He created the ideas and and in some sense directed music videos
and short films. He worked on Captain EO, you
know, he worked on so many different things and he has
connections to so many things as well as he participated in
interviews throughout his life, has had millions of books
written about him from people from all walks of life and
backgrounds and connections to him.
So there are a lot of potential directions to go in for season
3. So I beseech you all, I would
love to hear from anyone with a suggestion for what you
personally would like to see me cover in season 3.
If you recall, if you were here last season, I asked this
question so many times and no one ever emailed me about it.
But this season I've actually received a number of emails with
suggestions for next season, so I'm hoping to open that
conversation up a bit more. If you are interested in sharing
any ideas that you would love to see me cover and talk about,
please e-mail me at readingmichaeljackson@yahoo.com.
You're also always welcome to e-mail me there with thoughts on
the episodes, comments, questions, anything at all.
So with that said, that is going to wrap up and closeout.
Our intro isn't that crazy short.
It won't be if I keep talking. So without further ado, let's
get into Chapter 6 from Moonwalk.
If you are following along with me today, I will be reading from
pages 2:35 to 2:52. So now is the time that I invite
you to relax, get comfortable, get cozy, and join me for this
continued reading of Moonwalk. Chapter 6 All You Need is Love.
I had planned to spend most of 1984 working on some movie ideas
I had, but those plans got sidetracked.
First, in January, I was burned on the set of a Pepsi commercial
I was shooting with my brothers. The reason for the fire was
stupidity, pure and simple. We were shooting at night and I
was supposed to come down a staircase with magnesium flash
bombs going off on either side of me and just behind me.
It seemed so simple. I was to walk down the stairs
and these bombs would blow up behind me.
We did several takes that were wonderfully timed.
The lightning effects from the bombs were great.
Only later did I find out that these bombs were only two feet
away from either side of my head, which was a total
disregard of the safety regulations.
I was supposed to stand in the middle of a magnesium explosion,
2 feet on either side. Then Bob Giraldi, the director,
came to me and said, Michael, you're going down too early.
We want to see you up there, up on the stairs.
When the lights come on, we want to reveal that you're there.
So wait. So I waited.
The bombs went off on either side of my head and the sparks
set my hair on fire. I was dancing down this ramp and
turning around, spinning, not knowing I was on fire.
Suddenly I felt my hands reflexively going to my head in
an attempt to smother the flames.
I fell down and just tried to shake the flames out.
Jermaine turned around and saw me on the ground just after the
explosions had gone off, and he thought I had been shot by
someone in the crowd because we were shooting in front of a big
audience. That's what it looked like to
him. Miko Brando, who works for me,
was the first person to reach me.
After that, it was chaos. It was crazy.
No film could properly capture the drama of what went on that
night. The crowd was screaming.
Someone shouted get some ice. There were frantic running
sounds. People were yelling, oh, no.
The emergency truck came up. And before they put me in, I saw
the Pepsi executives huddled together in a corner, looking
terrified. I remember the medical people
putting me on a cot, and the guys from Pepsi were so scared
they couldn't even bring themselves to check on me.
Meanwhile, I was kind of detached.
Despite the terrible pain, I was watching all the drama unfold.
Later they told me I was in shock.
But I remember enjoying the ride to the hospital because I never
thought I'd ride in an ambulance with the sirens wailing.
It was one of those things I'd always wanted to do when I was
growing up. When we got there, they told me
there were news crews outside, so I asked for my glove.
There's a famous shot of me waving from the stretcher with
my glove on. Later one of the doctors told me
that it was a miracle I was alive.
One of the firemen had mentioned that in most cases your clothes
catch on fire, in which case your whole face can be
disfigured or you can die. That's it.
I had third degree burns on the back of my head that almost went
through to my skull. So I had a lot of problems with
it, but I was very lucky. What we now know is that the
incident created a lot of publicity for the commercial.
They sold more Pepsi than ever before, and they came back to me
later and offered me the biggest commercial endorsement fee in
history. It was so unprecedented that it
went into the Guinness Book of World Records.
Pepsi and I worked together on another commercial called The
Kid, and I gave them problems by limiting the shots of me because
I felt the shots they were asking for.
It didn't work well. Later, when the commercial was a
success, they told me I had been right.
I still remember how scared those Pepsi executives looked
the night of the fire. They thought that my getting
burned would leave a bad taste in the mouth of every kid in
America who drank Pepsi. They knew I could have sued
them, and I could have, but I was real nice about it.
Really nice. They gave me $1.5 million, which
I immediately donated to the Michael Jackson Burn Center.
I wanted to do something because I was so moved by the other burn
patients I met while I was in the hospital.
Then there was the Victory Tour. I did 55 shows with my brothers
over the course of five months. I didn't want to go on the
Victory Tour and I fought against it.
I felt the wisest thing for me would be not to do the tour, but
my brothers wanted to do it and I did it for them.
So I told myself that since I was committed to doing this, I
might as well put my soul into it.
When it came down to the actual tour, I was outvoted on a number
of issues. But you don't think when you're
on stage, you just deliver. My goal for the Victory Tour was
to give each performance everything I could.
I hoped people might come to see me who didn't even like me.
I hoped they might hear about the show and want to see what's
going on. I wanted incredible word of
mouth response to the show so a wide range of people could come
and see us. Word of mouth is the best
publicity. Nothing beats it.
If someone I trust comes to me and tells me something is great,
I'm sold. I felt very powerful in those
days of Victory. I felt on top of the world.
I felt determined. That tour was like, we're a
mountain. We've come to share our music
with you. We have something we want to
tell you. At the beginning of the show, we
rose out of the stage and came down these stairs.
The opening was dramatic and bright and captured the whole
feeling of the show. When the lights came on and they
saw us, the roof would come off the place.
It was a nice feeling playing with my brothers again.
It gave us a chance to relive our days as the Jackson 5 and
the Jacksons. We were all together again.
Jermaine had come back and we were riding a wave of
popularity. It was the biggest tour any
group had ever done in huge outdoor stadiums.
But I was disappointed with the tour from the beginning.
I had wanted to move the world like it had never been moved.
I wanted to present something that would make people say, wow,
that's wonderful. The response we got was
wonderful and the fans were great, but I became unhappy with
our show. I didn't have the time or the
opportunity to perfect it the way I wanted to.
I was disappointing in the staging of Billie Jean.
I wanted it to be so much more than it was.
I didn't like the lighting and I never got my steps quite the way
I wanted them. It killed me to have to accept
these things and settle for doing it the way I did.
There have been times right before a show when certain
things were bothering me. Business or personal problems, I
would think. I don't know how to get through
this. I don't know how I'm going to
get through the show. I can't perform like this.
But once I got to the side of the stage, something happens.
The rhythm starts and the lights hit me and the problems
disappear. This has happened so many times.
The thrill of performing just takes over.
It's like God saying, yes you can, yes you can, just wait,
wait till you hear this, wait till you see this.
And the backbeat gets into my backbone and it vibrates and it
just takes me. Sometimes I almost lose control.
And the musicians say what is he doing?
And they start following me. You change the whole schedule of
a piece, you stop and you just take over from scratch and do a
whole other thing. The song takes you in another
direction. There was a part of the show on
the Victory Tour where I was doing the scatting theme and the
audience was repeating what I said.
I'd say Da Dee, Da Dee, and they'd say Da Dee, da Dee.
There've been times when I've done that and they would start
stomping. And when the whole audience is
doing that, it sounds like an earthquake.
Oh, it's a great feeling to be able to do that with all those
people, whole stadiums, and they're all doing the same thing
you're doing. It's the greatest feeling in the
world. You look out into the audience
and see toddlers and teens and grandparents and people in their
20s and 30s. Everybody is swaying.
Their hands are up and they're all singing.
You ask. The house lights come on and you
see their faces and you say hold hands and they hold hands and
you say stand up or clap. And they do.
They're enjoying themselves, and they'll do whatever you tell
them. They love it and it's so
beautiful. All the races of people are
together doing this. At times like that, I say look
around you, look at yourselves, look, look around you, look at
what you've done. Oh, it's so beautiful, very
powerful. Those are great moments.
The Victory Tour was my first chance to be exposed to the
Michael Jackson fans since Thriller had come out two years
earlier. There were some strange
reactions. I'd bump into people in the
hallways and they go, Nah, that can't be him, he wouldn't be
here. I was baffled, and I'd ask
myself, why wouldn't I be? I'm on Earth somewhere.
I've got to be somewhere at any given time, why not here?
Some fans imagine you to be almost an illusion, this thing
that doesn't exist. When they see you, they feel
it's a miracle or something. I've had fans ask me if I use
the bathroom. I mean, it gets embarrassing.
They just lose touch with the fact that you're like them
because they get so excited. But I can understand it because
I'd feel the same way if, for instance, I could have met Walt
Disney or Charlie Chaplin. Kansas City opened the tour.
It was Victory's first night. We were walking by the hotel
pool in the evening, and Frank Dileo lost his balance and fell
in. People saw this and started to
get excited. Some of us were kind of
embarrassed, but I was laughing. He wasn't hurt and he looked so
surprised. We jumped over a low wall and
found ourselves on the street without any security.
People didn't seem to be able to believe that we were just
walking around on the street like that.
They gave us a wide berth. Later, when we returned to the
hotel, Bill Bray, who has headed my security team since I was a
child, just shook his head and laughed as we recounted our
adventures. Bill is very careful and
immensely professional in his job.
Don't worry about things after the fact.
He travels with me everywhere and occasionally.
He's my only companion of short trips.
I can't imagine life without Bill.
He's warm and funny and absolutely in love with life.
He's a great man. When the tour was in Washington
DC, I was out in our hotel balcony with Frank, who has a
great sense of humor and enjoys playing pranks himself.
We were teasing one another and I started pulling $100 bills
from his pockets and throwing them to people who are walking
down below. This almost caused a riot.
He was trying to stop me, but we were both laughing.
It reminded me of the pranks my brothers and I used to pull on
tour. Frank sent our security people
downstairs to try and find any undiscovered money in the
bushes. In Jacksonville, the local
police almost killed us in a traffic accident during the four
block drive from the hotel to the stadium.
Later, in another part of Florida, when the old tour
boredom set in that I described earlier, I played a little trick
on Frank. I asked him to come up to my
suite. When he came in, I offered him
some watermelon, which was lying on table across the room.
Frank went over to pick up a piece and tripped over my boa
constrictor, Muscles, who was on the road with me.
Muscles is harmless, but Frank hates snakes and proceeded to
scream and yell. I started chasing him around the
room with the boa. Frank got the upper hand.
However, he panicked, ran for the room and grabbed the
security guard's gun. He was going to shoot Muscles,
but the guard calmed him down. Later he said all he could think
of was I've got to get that snake.
I've found that a lot of tough men are afraid of snakes.
We were locked in hotels all over America, just like in the
old days. Me and Jermaine or me and Randy
would get up to our old tricks, taking buckets of water and
pouring them off hotel balconies on to people eating in the
atriums far below. We were up so high the water was
just missed. By the time it reached them.
It was just like the old days. Bored in the hotels, locked away
from fans for our own protection, unable to go
anywhere without massive security.
But there were a lot of days that were fun too.
We had a lot of time off on that tour and we got to take 5 little
vacations to Disney World. Once when we were staying in the
hotel there, an amazing thing happened.
I'll never forget it. I was on a balcony where we
could see a big arena. There were all these people.
It was so crowded that people were bumping into each other.
Someone in the crowd recognized me and started screaming my
name. Thousands of people began
chanting Michael, Michael, and it was echoing all over the
park. The chanting continued until
finally it was so loud that if I hadn't acknowledged it, it would
have been rude. As soon as I did, everybody
started screaming. I said, this is so beautiful.
I've got it so good. All the work I'd put in on
Thriller, my crying and believing in my dreams and
working on those songs and falling asleep near the
microphone stand because I was so tired, all of it was repaid
by this display of affection. I've seen times where I'd walk
into a theater to see a play and everybody would just start
applauding just because they're glad that I happened to be
there. At moments like that, I feel so
honored and so happy. It makes all the work seem
worthwhile. The Victory Tour was originally
going to be called the Final Curtain because we all realized
it was going to be the last tour we did together, but we decided
not to put the emphasis on that. I enjoyed the tour.
I knew it would be a long Rd. In the end, it was probably too
long. The best part of it for me was
seeing the children in the audience every night.
Every night there would be a number of them who had gotten
all dressed up. They were so excited.
I was truly inspired by the kids on that tour, kids of all ethnic
groups and ages. It's been my dream since I was a
child to somehow unite people of the world through love and
music. I still get goosebumps when I
hear The Beatles sing All You Need is Love.
I've always wished that song could be an anthem for the
world. I loved the shows we did in
Miami and all the time we spent there.
Colorado was great too. We got to spend some time
relaxing at the Caribou Ranch and New York was really
something, as it always is. Emmanuel Lewis came to the show,
as did Yoko, Sean, Lennon, Brooke, a lot of good friends.
Thinking back, the off stage moments stand out for me as much
as the concerts themselves. I found I could lose myself in
some of those shows. I remember swinging my jackets
around and slinging them into the audience.
The wardrobe people would get annoyed at me and I'd say,
honestly, I'm sorry, but I can't help it.
I can't control myself. Something takes over and I know
I shouldn't do it, but you just can't control it.
There's a spirit of joy and communion that gets inside of
you, and you want to just let it all out.
OK, so we are going to leave it there with our excerpt for today
and have a discussion about everything.
We are kicking off Chapter 6 with primarily conversation
about the Pepsi incident, Michael's fame in connection
with fans, and of course the Victory Tour.
There is a lot I would like for us to cover today, so let's get
started. So Michael opens this section
immediately in the action of the Pepsi incident, the Pepsi
accident, however you want to refer to it.
And there's a lot he describes here and a lot I want to add to
what he shares. So in case you don't know or
have just never really thought about it before, I want to give
you an idea of the timing we're talking about.
So Michael attended the 1984 American Music Awards in the
middle of January. I think it was like January 17th
or something. About 10 days later, on January
27th, 1984, Michael goes through this incident and he suffers
these incredible burns. A month later of February 28th,
1984, Michael wins the most Grammy Awards in one night in
history. So within a month of going
through this horrific experience physically, he is on stage
accepting these awards, celebrating, being celebrated
and looking great, looking like he's in excellent condition.
Less than a month. Less than a month after that
incident. Even more insane is it was about
a week after that incident that he attended a ceremony put on by
the Guinness Book of World Records for the greatest selling
album in history, which was Thriller.
So like his life did not stop at all based on this incident, this
incident that would cause most normal people to be out of work
for a long time, be in recovery for a long time.
Michael was heavily medicated, going through all kinds of
surgeries and procedures. I mean, the amount that he was
dealing with physically is something that I don't think he
really shares here. He, I won't, I wouldn't say he
downplays it by any means, but he also kind of does actually,
because he talks about very quickly what happened the night
of the burn, his own sort of choices and behaviors directly
after it, donating money to the create the Michael Jackson Burn
Center. And then he kind of moves on to
talking about the Victory Tour. He doesn't share how much pain
he was in. He doesn't talk about the
multiple surgeries and procedures that he had had not
only shortly after, but continued to have very
frequently through the rest of his life.
Frankly, And I mean, at this point, it had been a few years
out. So maybe he didn't.
You know who, I don't know exactly how the healing happened
directly in the the years directly after the incident, but
I do know from having read a lot about Michael Jackson, learned a
lot about him. He was in significant pain
almost all the time. I mean, for large amounts of
time he was in significant pain. He had a permanent spot on his
head that was like, I've been I've read that it's about the
size of your palm where he was not able to ever grow hair
again. And he would be in pain to the
point where just touching his head would cause him tremendous
pain because of the sensitivity of the skin there and the
constant procedures they tried. Now, some of these things I
learned from listening to different MJ cast episodes, such
as the episode of Michael's hair stylist Carol Amir, who dealt
directly with this and specifically identified like,
no, Michael wore hair pieces. But he she said throughout his
life, he's still maintained hair.
He just had to wear hair pieces and wigs at different times.
And because of that, I mean, I think that largely accounts for
a lot of the changes in Michael's hairstyle throughout
his career. There are periods when,
throughout the 90s, he was getting very regular surgery.
And that's part of why he wore fedora all the time to cover the
injury that he had, but also why he wore wigs to not only
experiment, of course, with his aesthetic and his look and, you
know, play with fashion and things, which is alone a
completely valid reason to wear wigs, but also because he was
dealing with this. And this is something that I
think unfortunately, Michael did under emphasize the impact this
had. I don't know that he ever wanted
to admit that he was on significant pain medication.
And therefore, people didn't understand that this this man
who was so talented and so kind and so generous with his wealth
and his, you know, his resources was walking around in so much
pain and still being all of those things.
And if you've ever been a person that has dealt with chronic pain
of any kind, whatever the circumstances are, from the very
minor to the more significant, you know, that affects your
mood, it affects your irritability, you know, it
affects your productivity, it affects the way you interact
with people, how how you want to be seen by people.
So I don't think we can under emphasize how much this likely
truly did affect him 'cause at the same time that Michael was
at the height of his career, as we know, his skin was changing
because of vitiligo, which he had not shared with the world
Around the same time he was diagnosed with lupus.
And then he goes through this horrific incident where he's
dealing with significant pain for the rest of his life.
Although I'm sure there's periods of time he wasn't in
pain all the time there. You know, a lot of people who
worked with him said he was So like, you know, his life at the
moment of this burn changed forever in ways that I don't
think people reckon with their understand.
And in fact, something that came up in my mind as I was reading
this section, feeling so sorry for him about this experience
was how in the early 2000s, as I'm sure any seasoned of Michael
Jackson fan knows, but newer Michael Jackson fans may not
know, Michael was heavily made fun of in the public eye.
I mean, everything about him was picked apart.
And Eminem released a video in which he directly throughout,
like half of the video or more, is directly and specifically
making fun of Michael Jackson. He has horrible and cruel lyrics
about him. And he even depicts him getting
his hair burned and like makes a joke out of it and thinks it's
like the most hilarious thing in the world.
And regardless if you like Eminem's music or whatever, I
mean, I like some of Eminem's music.
It's just that video represents the level of cruelty and
dehumanization Michael was dealing with all his life.
I mean, who makes fun of a person's near death experience
that led them into dependency on prescription medication that
changed the course of their life in so many ways?
Why would someone make fun of that?
And I'll granted, I know Eminem is like someone who attacked
everyone at that time. That was sort of his shtick.
You know, he made fun of every pop culture figure.
Michael was by no means the only person he targeted.
It was just kind of what Eminem did.
But that doesn't discount the fact that the culture at large
accepted it. And of course, if you've seen
the interview that Michael does in the 2000s, right around the
time of the trial with Geraldo Rivera in 2005, I think he talks
directly about this. I mean, he's directly asked,
what is your take on this? And I want to just kind of
quickly play his response here. Tell us how that hurt you and
and how you're feeling about it now.
I've never met Mr. Eminem and to have him, I've always admired to
have him do something like that was was pretty painful as as an
artist to another artist. And it's, it's sad because,
well, I think what Stevie Wonder said is true and I just don't
want to say too much more than that.
But he he should be ashamed of himself.
What he's doing. Stevie said he's bullied is what
he said Stevie did and he is. That's what he said.
I mean, I'm not saying what Stevie said it.
And Stevie is a he's amazing. He's one of the sweetest men in
the world. But a lot of people respect
Stevie. And he's a very strong entity in
this medium, in this business. And when he speaks, people
listen. And it was wrong of, of Eminem
to do what he did. I've, I've, I've been an artist
most of my life doing what I do. And I I've never attacked
another fellow artist, great artist.
Don't do that. You know, you don't have to do
that. Yeah, but it doesn't hurt
really. It's it's silly.
It's kind of elementary, but I hope he's having fun.
It's like a poo poo joke. Yes.
Yeah. Well, it still hurts your
feelings and you don't want your kids to see it.
Oh, God, I would hate it if they saw it.
I would hate that. Do you want him to know that, To
know about it? No, as always.
You know, Michael handles this type of thing with such grace
and humility in ways that I think he extended to people who
didn't deserve it, including Eminem.
And the whole, the whole thing is really sad.
And I am only bringing that up because not only did Michael
have a hard time, understandably by the way, have a hard time
opening up about how hard he had it and how difficult things
were. I'm sure if he did, it would be
perceived as him whining or complaining or whatever, but the
world didn't even extend him the most basic of empathy.
And it's that's just an example of it.
And so I, I think as fans of Michael Jackson and just as
frankly, just as human beings, we should be very mindful of
taking very, very seriously what this accident actually did to
him and his life. The final thing I'll say about
that and about, you know, the way fans often think about it is
that part of the mythologizing of Michael Jackson as this
magical, otherworldly almost figure and icon is that this day
that his hair was burned marks the halfway point of his life.
Like, that's crazy. You know, not only was this
something that completely transformed his life, but it's
literally the halfway point. And you would never know that
reading about Michael at this time.
You would never know he had less than half of his life left.
By the time he wrote this and published this book.
There was less than half of his life left to live.
He had no idea. Of course, we never know, right?
We never know. Life is incredibly precious in
that way. Anyway, this just brings up a
lot of emotions for me because I can't stand to see people's pain
diminished and made fun of. Like, it's one thing to make fun
of your own pain, but to be the butt of someone else's joke?
Especially during a time in the 2000s where Michael became a
punching bag for the entire world.
And I mean, I was alive and witnessed it, even though I
wasn't a fan. I'm very aware of it and it's,
it's just painful. Like to kick people when they're
down is not something I will ever understand what someone
could get out of it. I, I've heard people say this as
a rule of comedy. Comedy is only funny when you're
punching up. So when someone is already down
and they're hurting, you're punching down, You know, you're
kicking someone punching someone when they're already on the
floor. But when somebody is, you know,
elevated, which is why our leaders, you know, the leaders
of our countries and why celebrities who feel sort of
untouchable become more fun or light hearted to poke fun at
Michael, despite his status as the King of Pop and this most
successful artist and all this stuff was not in a place where
any continued attack on him would be punching up.
By that point, he was on trial. He was dealing with all kinds of
unkindness from the media in the world and had been for decades.
He is certainly would be punching down and that's not
funny. That's why it's not funny,
right? You can't laugh at it.
And Michael certainly couldn't laugh at it when his life was in
such chaos. So sorry to spend so much time
on that. I just, you know, I feel a lot
about this as I do all things. Anyway, let's touch base a bit
more about some of the things that Michael shares about this
incident. Of course, he mentions that.
There's that famous shot of him waving from the stretcher with
his glove on. And I just got to say, like, who
thinks about their own marketing and branding during a time like
this? Like Michael's mind was crazy
because on one hand, you're like, God, why was that even on
your mind, you know? And on the other hand, it's
like, that's like brilliant to be thinking about your life
almost as performance art in such a way that you're like, oh,
I want to make sure we capture this in such a way because it
will be remembered. On one hand, it's kind of
strange and sad to me that Michael's thought and and
framing of of himself and his own pain and this incident in
his life that was so frightening.
He framed all of that through this lens of an external view of
him, not through his own internal experience so much as
what will the world see of this and take of this?
I mean, it makes you wonder how much of his own identity was
shaped by looking at or viewing himself through the eyes of
others. You know, that's what it makes
me think of initially. On the other hand, it is
brilliant. It is brilliant to be able to
recognize in a moment of crisis. Look, I'm a public figure.
People see me a certain way. How can I control the way this
is viewed? So, like, we can look at it two
ways. Like, on one hand, it's sad.
And how did that distort his view of himself and cause him
perhaps some pain in his life and his ability to exist as a
human, not just as a public figure, but at the same time,
he'd spent his whole life doing that.
And so the only way perhaps he knew to have control or
influence over the conversations that would inevitably follow
would be to create the narrative himself or contribute to it
himself. So he requests the glove.
I would love to know, what do you think?
I mean, is this a moment of marketing brilliance?
Is this a moment of, wow? Like, how did he think of that?
How funny. And like, this is just a sort of
a charming thing about Michael Jackson.
Or do you think it represents something a little bit more sad
or a little bit more dark about his self perception and the way
that he saw himself in relation to the world?
To be honest, I'm sort of of both minds.
I feel like we can both appreciate his own brilliance to
think this way and also recognize it's a little sad to
live as a kind of product. So I'm curious what you think
about that. Feel free to share your
perspective on that. He does, though I will say I
will add this little tidbit here.
He does talk about how he was so excited in some ways to be in an
ambulance. And I know his mother said this
in an interview that like, one of the first things he had said
to her was I, it was so exciting to ride in the ambulance, you
know? So on one hand, you know, he was
experiencing it as himself, Michael Jackson, and again, in
his very sort of spirited way of viewing life.
What's crazy about this is he references how Pepsi really took
off after this. It's actually helped Pepsi
because of the amount of publicity it brought to the
commercial and to the brand itself to the point of them
being in the Guinness Book of World Records.
So rather than focus on Pepsi's appearance in the Guinness Book
of World Records, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to
talk about Michael's appearance in the Guinness Book of World
Records. So I took it upon myself to look
up how many times did Michael Jackson appear in the Guinness
Book of World Records, and it is apparently, as of 2025,
approximately 40 times. I say approximate because I've
gotten a couple of different answers to this based on if
someone has broken a record or whatever, but he has appeared 40
times. Now, obviously, I'm not going to
go through each and every record that he appeared there for, but
I will share a couple because it's interesting.
So Michael, of course, has the Guinness Book of World Records
for the most Grammys won in a single year.
Very cool. He holds the record for the most
charity supported by a pop star I believe.
Along with that the highest amount of money ever donated by
a pop star. He has the most viewed Wikipedia
page for a musician, the largest TV audience for a music video
premiere, and that is from the premiere of the black or white
music video when he had approximately 500 million people
from 27 countries watch the live premiere.
Insane. Of course, the best selling
album of all time, Thriller, the most lucrative recording
contract, and of course the highest earning dead celebrity.
Every year since he has died except for like one or two.
So you know, Michael, he has made his mark when it comes to
setting a record with the Guinness Book of World Records,
which is really sweet because as he said a couple of times
throughout his life, that was a really big deal to him.
He was really excited about it. It was something that he had
always wanted to do to appear in the Guinness Book of World
Records and he did quite a bit. And of course, last but not
least, the most successful entertainer in history.
So Michael certainly had his incredible achievements
acknowledged in the Guinness Book of World Records.
And so many of those I think are incredibly unlikely to ever be
replicated, which is super, super cool.
So good job, Michael, and we don't have to acknowledge Pepsi
any further. But of course, he goes on to
share that given the incredible mishandling of the entire
incident, he does end up being awarded $1.5 million from Pepsi.
And as he said, and as so many of us fans know, he used that
money to create the Michael Jackson Burn Center.
It's really interesting, actually, online, there are all
kinds of photos from when Michael was in the burn center
and he is walking around with, you know, the gauze on his head
taking photos with fans. Like, it's crazy.
To me. It made a real impact.
And actually, if you ever want to hear an amazing story about
one of the ways it did make an impact is Al Scanlon, who is in
the fan community known as Big Al, who worked with Michael at
Neverland. He has told this story a couple
of times. I would think the best source
for it is the podcast Humanitarian the Real Michael
Jackson, which is put out by Paul Dwyer.
He goes on there and he tells a story about when Neverland
hosted children from a local burn unit, and these children
were horribly disfigured. And as the staff there said,
really couldn't go anywhere and not be stared at and gawked at
and pointed at. They couldn't go to Disney
World. They couldn't go to a zoo, you
know, they couldn't go anywhere and experience childhood as they
wanted. And so Michael agreed to host
them at Neverland. And Al tells this entire
beautiful story about what it was like to work at Neverland
and see those children and to hear feedback from the staff and
to just know that he was a part of this incredible gift that
Michael was giving the world through Neverland.
And it's just really beautiful. So I will be sure to link that
episode in the description because it's really worth
listening to. And I really hope that you do if
you haven't, because it's beautiful.
So then we move into the Victory Tour.
Now, what Michael doesn't exactly mention is that the
Victory Tour's first date was less than six months after the
Pepsi Burn. I think that is absolutely
insane. And he says here, I didn't want
to go, I didn't want to do it, he says.
I fought against it. I felt the wisest thing for me
would be not to do the tour. Now, he doesn't specify here.
Would that be the wisest thing in terms of his career or in his
mind and perhaps his doctor's recommendation in terms of his
health? And I can't help but be a little
frustrated with his brothers, with his family, for pushing him
so hard into this tour he had. He had undergone an incredible
He had undergone an unbelievable accident and was in pain and
recovering and he had to start rehearsing only a few months
after that and then going on tour all around the country for
months on end. That is not the right scenario
for a person who is healing from something traumatic.
So it bothers me quite a bit that this happened for him.
And I don't know how else to read this entire section about
the Victory Tour but through the lens that like Michael's very
openly saying he didn't want to go.
He didn't agree with how it was done.
He wasn't happy with the performances.
He didn't feel it was right. But he's also offering that he
had a good time at at at different points.
He enjoyed spending time with his brothers and being like the
Jackson 5 again. He enjoyed seeing fans that he
earned since Thriller, you know, he enjoyed aspects of it and he
surely had a good time in the moment.
As he said, he decided to just put his soul into it because if
he couldn't get out of it, he wanted it to be great as he
wanted everything to be great that he did.
But this still bothers me because I know there's a lot of
mixed narratives about this. Like I think most fans suggest
that it's true Michael really didn't want to go and we feel
bad for him that he did. But I know for Michael's family
this is a lot more complicated because they were with him on
tour and they saw him having fun and enjoying himself.
This is another case of where two things can be true at once.
Michael could have not wanted to go.
He could have resented going, He could have resented the show
itself and even his brothers and his parents at times.
But that doesn't mean he couldn't have enjoyed it too.
And I, I, I always am frustrated by, and I think this is probably
a theme you've all noticed in my commentary.
I do not like to limit our view of Michael or his experiences to
what one or two people's narratives are, including fan
narratives. I mean, we have to recognize
that that he's a human being and his experience was likely
multifaceted. There could have been times on
that tour that he was like, Oh my God, this is amazing as he
identifies here. While in the same week, maybe he
felt incredibly annoyed and frustrated by what he was
experiencing. So like, again, it's the nuance.
We just need to approach him with nuance.
But this is something I'm extremely looking forward to
when it comes to seeing the biopic.
How will this be represented? Michael fighting against it?
He he describes it as he fought hard against it but then
ultimately relented. So I want to know how will that
be presented? How will his conflicts with the
whole show be represented regardless of what they do?
I mean, I do hope that it's made very clear how quickly he did
this after this major accident in his life.
And I, I think that people have a right to question his family's
motives when it came to that. I, I can't imagine that this was
good for Michael in any way. And I, I often wonder, had he
had more time to heal, what, how would he have done?
You know, how, how would, how would things have gone for him
if he had had more time to heal? You know, perhaps he would have
done his own thriller tour alone at the same time frame.
I don't know. I just know he should have,
regardless of who pushed it, he should have had more time to get
better. Still, it's nice to hear him say
he felt so powerful during that time.
This quote he says about the tour.
We're a mountain. We've come to share our music
with you. We have something we want to
tell you was beautiful. I thought like that he
approached it and thought of it this way of like we are a force
and we want to to spread everything we have to say across
this land. I mean, that's a beautiful
approach and mindset. Still, it's kind of incredible
that he didn't enjoy what he did on tour.
The Victory tour is great. I mean, unfortunately we don't
have a very high quality copy of it yet.
I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that the estate will be releasing 1
maybe later this year in response to the biopic, which of
course, they're featuring the Victory Tour in the biopic.
It would make perfect sense to release the Victory Tour in a
higher quality because right now the quality we have is absolute
garbage. I'm just being honest.
So it would be wonderful, but it's crazy to know that Michael
was unhappy with it. Like what did he want to be
different? I wonder what was he hoping to
achieve with his own performances 'cause he talks
about Billie Jean not being great.
And if you recall, a few months ago, we at this point, we talked
about the memoir tapes that were leaked online for a little
while. And there was a tape in which
Michael talks about his dissatisfaction with the tour
and with Billie Jean specifically.
You want to. Present something to the people
and they go, wow, that's wonderful.
I just, I can't explain how unhappy I am with the show, with
our concert. Isn't it hard?
For you go on stage every night, then that's again, yeah.
I can't explain how unhappy I am with you because it could be so
much more. It's so much more I want to do
and, but I, I don't have the chance and the time to perfect
it the way I want to. I'm so disappointed in Billie
Jean. I'm so disappointed.
Oh, I just can't explain. It's I, I want it to be so much
more. And the lighting isn't the way I
want it to be. My steps isn't the way I want it
to be. And, and it kills me to have to
accept to do this the way it is. It really does.
Well, how does it say, how do you think people like me say
that that Billie Jean is the best thing I've ever seen?
And you say it's not, you know, but he's definitely a strange
thing to hear because you know how much more you want it to be.
No, it is. So, you know, it just, it sort
of emphasizes Michael's insane perfectionism.
And I'm not saying he's wrong to have it.
The reason we have the amazing things we do from him is in
large part the perfectionism. But I also think unfortunately,
the perfectionism is part of why we don't have certain things we
all would love to have and see because he held on to things
because he wanted them to be exactly right.
And unfortunately we miss out in some cases because of that.
But anyway, it's amazing to look at Michael, especially, in my
opinion, Billie Jean on the Victory tour, His circle glide
is unfathomable to me, and it's the only tour where that circle
glide is like liquid. And that does not mean it is not
incredible in the later tours, but the liquid movement of that
circle glide during victory, Oh my God, I could scream.
I won't, I'll spare you. But my God, amazing.
Throughout his description of the Victory tour, Michael does
talk a little bit about his connection to fans and the way
it felt to be received by them. And it's beautiful to me to hear
about. Like you always wonder when it
comes to an A major, an amazing artist, what is it like to be
them in that? And so Michael's whole
description about singing back and forth with the audience and
it sounded like an earthquake when you'd hear them respond, to
ask them to hold hands and clap and to see them respond and to
see the unity in the audience. And he always emphasizes of all
the different races and ages. He talks about toddlers and
grandparents and people in their 20s and people in their 60s and
everybody you know, seeing them all come together.
And he says they love it and it's so beautiful.
All races of people doing this together.
At times like that, I say, look around you, look at yourselves,
look, look around you, look at what you've done.
And that I, I don't know, I just got chills reading that because
he doesn't say, look at what I've done to unite you.
He's saying, look at what you've done in this audience to create
this love and energy to feed into one another, to show up
together, to hold hands, to take a risk and be vulnerable in
front of someone next to you. That level it, it, it shows
Michael's appreciation, like a genuine respect and appreciation
for the people in the audience participating in this moment
with him. It's not just, oh, he's powerful
and has this aura and he has this influence over his fans.
It's, hey, you are a willing participant in this.
And that itself is beautiful because it's euphoric.
I mean, what he's describing is a kind of euphoria of connection
and human connection. And I often feel this when I go
to a theater. Like I go to a play or a musical
or something, or I go to a concert and I see people
together in the moment experiencing something and it
makes me cry because I think, Oh my God, the togetherness.
I'll often say this to my husband.
Everyone is together and they're so happy and it's beautiful.
He doesn't get it. He doesn't feel it, but I feel
it. I feel it so much.
And I can only imagine what it's like at a Michael Jackson
concert to feel that and to see it.
But then on the flip side of that, he talks about how larger
than life you become to your fans.
And he specifically says he's baffled by this idea of someone
saying like, oh, that couldn't be him.
Why would he be here if they see him somewhere?
And he says, why wouldn't I? I'm on Earth somewhere.
I've got to be somewhere at any given time.
Why not here? And this part kills me because
this is something that I think it's hard to explain without
sounding like a psycho. But I'm just being real with
you, Michael not being on this Earth now.
Michael being gone doesn't feel right.
Even though I was never a fan during Michael's lifetime, I
look back and I feel a comfort in knowing that I was alive and
shared the earth at the same time as him.
I'm comforted by that. I'm warmed by that.
I am grateful for that because that like, energy in the world
was something I was able to receive still like the the
energy of Michael's presence in the world.
And it breaks my heart that we can't experience that anymore.
I mean, I used to say this kind of as a joke, but also, I'm
being honest, if I were alive, like during the bad era or the
thriller era or off the wall, like literally any era of
Michael's career, I don't think I would function properly if I
knew he was like somewhere on earth at the same time as me.
You know what I mean? Like, it would blow my mind.
And that's the thing that unfortunately, we're now
missing. It's not because I have any
delusion that I ever would have been able to meet Michael
Jackson or interact with him or whatever, but the comfort of his
presence on Earth through the thick and thin of life.
I mean, in the global sense, like the things, the good and
the bad happening in the world. The idea of him being here and
being able to speak to things or provide his insights through
music or any, anything, not even if he was performing, just he
could be retired and living in total isolation.
But if I just knew he was here, it would make a difference for
me, you know? And I'm sure a lot of fans feel
that way. And it's, it's hard and I feel,
I feel for the young fans, the very young fans, I mean, who are
children who don't yet know that Michael is dead.
You know, the fans that are discovering him at like 5 years
old who fall in love with him and then have to find out, oh,
he's gone. That's really tough.
And it, and it breaks my heart and it breaks my heart for
anyone who loves him, all of you listening.
I mean, anyone who feels this, his loss is still so
devastating. And I think that's not just the
nature of his loss or how young he was.
It's just the power of his presence means the gravity of
his absence is so much greater, You know?
So with having said all that, I don't want to be one of those
fans. That's so weird that I'd have to
ask Michael, would you have gone to the bathroom?
You know, like, have you ever used a toilet?
Poor Michael. I mean, my God, what a crazy
life to lead in which people can't imagine you peeing.
You know what I mean? Like, wow.
But also, it kind of shows just like he did have this larger
than life presence, and it is sometimes hard to imagine him
doing regular things. Like, I've recently bought a
house. And so I've been painting this
house, like all the time, painting every room, all the
trim, everything. And I'm really bad at it.
And as I've been painting occasionally, I have the thought
of like, I wonder if Michael Jackson ever painted a room.
Like, no, of course he didn't. Probably not, but my point is,
it is parasocial, right? I mean, to even think about him
in moments like that is kind of wild.
But do you do that? Have you done that?
To some degree? It's normal, but also it just
represents how larger than life he was and how hard it was to
imagine him, this huge figure with this presence, doing things
like regular people would do. Unfortunately, I think I've said
this before, but the flip side of that level of admiration for
someone is a dehumanization of them at the same time, because
even though we mean it well, we admire him so much, we think so
highly of him, it's hard to imagine him being a regular
person. You're still dehumanizing
someone with that view. And we have to, as fans, I think
be careful of that as well. Respect his privacy to respect
his imagery. You know, like, I have
personally have a big problem with AI images and videos of
Michael because to me, it's a dehumanization of Michael.
Not everybody looks at it that way, of course, but to me it is.
So it's like it's a fine balance to strike.
And it must have been very strange for him.
A couple of really final thoughts here.
He talks a bit about his relationship with Bill Bray and
some of the fun he had on tour with his brothers and pranks and
things. He tells this story also at some
point in the chapter about chasing Frank Dileo around a
hotel room with Muscles, his boa constrictor.
And it reminded me of when I read Jermaine's book, You're Not
Alone. And Jermaine shares that he had
a tiger he brought on tour with him, a tiger in his hotel room.
What? What are you talking about?
That's crazy. So Michael has a boa
constrictor. Jermaine has a tiger.
What is going on with these people?
It's it's wild, no pun intended. But I also read somewhere else
that Jermaine stayed in a different hotel than all the
other brothers, which I'm not sure why that would have been,
but I I wonder if there was still some tension there.
I'm not quite sure, but I have heard that before too.
Either way, Michael tells a story about throwing the $100
bills out the window or off the balcony.
And all I thought was like, oh Michael.
I'm not sure about this story because it definitely puts in
perspective how meaningless money was to him, right?
I mean, the average person is not going to be throwing $100
bills off a balcony because $100 means something to that person.
I'm not trying to suggest that Michael didn't value money at
all or you didn't care about it. But it's just kind of evident
that he definitely had a different relationship to money
than the average person and his average fan.
So to me, it's not, it's not that big of a deal.
He was like 25 years old and being silly, you know?
But I do wonder how that is received by fans throughout the
world who certainly most of us do not have the money to quite
literally throw around, you know what I mean?
So anyway, not meant to be like a critique of him, just sort of
like a, hmm, that's an interesting thing to include in
this book, you know? So two final things I want to
mention. One of them is kind of back to
that parasocial comment about fans relating to Michael with
this distance kind of view of them.
Michael talks about how he would hear people chanting his name
and coming out and looking at him and being so excited or
going to a theatre and everyone applauding just because he's
there. And he describes this as this
was so great, I've got it so good.
And he felt so loved. And I have no doubt he did feel
so loved. I mean, because that is coming
from a place of love and admiration and that must feel
good to feel like, oh, everyone loves me.
Wow, that must feel great. Even though the attention is,
I'm sure for a lot of it's hard to imagine Michael had always
received so much attention in his life that I'm sure the
singular attention that he was receiving and knowing this was
as a result of Thriller would have made him feel, you know,
really good and really seen at the same time.
This is, you know, earlier in his adult career.
He's reflecting on the fame post thriller.
This book came out in the very early part of the bad era.
Did he have the energy and feeling about those kinds of
appearances then that maybe would fade or change as he
evolved? It's difficult because as I've
said 1000 times at this point, we don't know how Michael's
personal view of his fame progressed since this time.
I mean, the only real record we have of him talking about this
is this book. We have interviews where he
occasionally would reference his fame or his fans or the
challenges of being, you know, unable to go anywhere.
But we don't really know how he felt because in all of these
cases, both in this book and in those interviews, you know, he's
writing it knowing his fans will read it.
So I do think he genuinely means it in this book of like, this
was wonderful. I have it so good.
I feel so happy about it. And I'm sure that kind of love
filled some kind of a hole in him from pain that he
experienced in his life. But also it certainly isolated
him too. The bigger and bigger he got,
the more isolated he got. I mean, the more and more people
in this world who faint when they meet you or question if you
use a bathroom, I mean, that kind of represents the harder
and harder it would become to have actual relationships with
people and to trust people and to not be viewed as a commodity
by everyone. So I do wonder if we had had a
book written in 1997 and published or even just like a
personal statement written by Michael, a private one, what
would his thoughts be about this?
Would they have adjusted or adapted or changed?
Would he still want that level of attention?
I don't know. At the same time, I think his
mental health to some degree required that level of attention
because he had been so harmed by the hate he received.
And the unkindness in the world that I think the love certainly
would have helped him battle, that it would remind him that
he's still worthy, that he is still cared for.
He hasn't been forsaken, so to speak.
So my goodness, is it complicated psychologically and
emotionally. And I feel so much about that
because Michael, I do, as much as I admire him, he was only a
human being. I cannot imagine myself, my
sensitivities, which I think in some ways are similar to
Michael's, I can't imagine surviving the pressures he
faced. So the fact that he did, and he
could even look at that response to him as a positive thing and
to be happy about it, even if it didn't last his whole life, I'm
glad he was able to experience that.
There's a few other things I could say, but we're already
pretty. We're already going a bit longer
than I hoped for in this one, so I'm going to bring this to a
close. I want to thank you all for
being here and for listening and joining me for for these final
couple of episodes talking about Michael and Moonwalk.
I am excited to continue reading Charter 6 next week.
So until then, I hope you have a wonderful week and weekend and
continue to keep up to date with all the little tidbits and
things being released about the biopic and clips of Jafar.
And there's so much to be excited about right now as a
Michael Jackson fan, So I hope that you are enjoying that.
And again, please feel free to e-mail me at
readingmichaeljackson@yahoo.com if you have any suggestions or
ideas about season 3 or just want to talk about any aspect of
the show, the book, or of Michael Jackson.
I always love to hear from people, so I wish you all well
and we'll talk again very, very soon.
Take care.