Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry? Hi guys, welcome to Significant
Lovers. I'm Mel.
I'm. Kel.
And I'm Caitlin, and in case you didn't know, this is a true love
podcast, not a true crime podcast, a true love podcast,
but sometimes crimes do come up. So there's that.
True. Will there be some today?
Maybe. And we're cousins.
Always got a let the new people know that if this is your first
time joining for Ellen and Portia, welcome.
We have over 100 other couples you can or episodes you can
listen to as well about all different types of couples.
So yeah, this is a a big relationship.
I mean, this, these two have been together for a long time,
so there's a lot to say. So I feel like we should maybe
get into it. Do we have any new patrons to
thank? We do, we have new patrons that
recently signed up. Wanna say thanks to Faye,
Freddy, Aisha and Karen. Thank you.
Thank you guys. Thank you.
My Siboku.
Before we get into the episodes, do we have are we doing our
trivia segment? Yes.
So this is our favorite segment,
new segment of significant Lovers where we do trivia about
past couples we've covered from our Hall of Flames.
So Mel and Kate are going to compete.
I have 3 questions and this time I will say they're all from
couples that I have covered. OK, usually, usually I do try to
do Mel's as well, but maybe this will be a little more even for
Caitlins. Caitlin.
Yeah. Ohh yeah, yeah.
I need to redeem myself I feel like.
Kate wait, Caitlin, how many couples do you have under your
belt so far, 5. 4. Well, don't forget Harry and
Louis. Oh yeah, fine.
Then OK, yeah, Dad, our dad was saying, oh, wow, you've had
Caitlin do a lot of episodes lately, You're really putting
her to work. And I said we do the same
amount, we switch off. Yeah, she's not doing more than
us. I don't know.
I guess he's only listened to yours or?
Something I think, 'cause it just so happened to be my turn
again. So it was like recency, you
know, like in his head was thinking I was doing a lot but.
Yeah, I never know what to say when people are like, So what
are you working on now for the podcast?
Do I say the next episode to come out or the next one that
we're currently recording 'cause we do record pretty far in
advance. We do, Yeah.
So if anything crazy happens with Ellen and Portia after
this, we're recording January 20th.
We just didn't know. Yep.
We simply didn't know. OK, but now for the trivia.
First question. Who said this?
His wish was that we could stay together.
But of course, we both knew that was impossible.
And that's what's so very difficult about our
relationship. Blank.
And I knew he had commitments, promises to keep, and he vowed
to keep his word. What?
Who said that? Who?
Said that and Margaret. Yeah, Oh.
That makes sense. Good job, Mel.
OH. Yeah, that makes.
Sense I don't know if these are too easy maybe.
No, no. Oh.
Well, Oh well. OK.
Next question. Who was proposed to and said
yes, but then called it off the very next day.
Oh, oh, Jane Austen. Correct.
Wow. That was good, Kate.
Good job, Kate. OK, we're tied.
Oh my gosh, last question, someone that we covered claimed
that they didn't know their relationship was over until they
read about it in an article. Samantha Ronson.
No. I was going to guess that, huh?
It. Was over.
It sounds so familiar. I think it could be so many
people though at the same time, you know?
I know. Oh, was it Barry James O'Neill?
Yes. Oh, really?
Yeah, which? Is Lana Del Rey.
That at. All.
Lana Del Rey's ex-boyfriend. Did he read that she was in a
new relationship or something? No, it was it was an interview
and she said that they weren't together anymore like.
He. Didn't know that.
That's awful, all right, it's. Like he hadn't heard from her in
a couple days and what? Like what was going through his
mind? We need to read I don't know
episode. We we speculated in the episode
of what happened, but Mel wins. But also.
I wonder. I wonder how many each we've
won. I don't know.
I haven't been. Keeping I definitely won the
least amount. Well, I mean, it's you are you
are at an unfair advantage because.
All. Most of the trivia stems from
conversations that Kelly and I have had so.
Yeah. You've been a listener, but
yeah, it might be harder. To remember.
It is like more than listening to a podcast, I think.
Like I remember where we were when we talked about these
things. You know what I mean?
Like I yeah, exactly. That's true.
I conversations. Yeah, yeah.
So. But you've gotten a lot, Kate.
That surprised me. Yeah, Jane Austen was really
good, but you actually were there when we Oh yeah, you were
there. Technically, yeah, true,
although I did so poorly at Mel's Trivia last week, which
was wicked hard. It was good, but hard.
I know that was fun. Yeah.
Thanks guys. If you guys.
Haven't heard it. It was fun, yeah.
Check it out. So, Kel, what are three words
that you would use to describe Portia and Ellen?
3 words, Yeah, I was thinking about this.
Three words I would used to describe them.
It's always tough to summarize in three words, you know, but I
would say committed, supportive, nice, romantic.
Oh. Not a single negative I.
Know I I I had to say those yeah I felt like they were those
stood out the most to me I. Think a lot of the times with
couples that are still together, we don't know the full
intricacies of their relationship so we can't really
say like very. True, it's.
Abusive or whatever. Yeah, they're.
Still. Together, you know, like that's.
True, yeah. It must be a good relationship
if they're still going strong however many years later or
whatever you know. Do learn so much about
relationships when they end. Yeah.
I feel like sometimes, I'm sure you guys feel the same way.
Sometimes when I'm researching a couple, it's like there's the
breakup, but then there's like 10 years or more of more
information that comes out after of them.
Like that's hard talking about what happened.
So yeah. But there is definitely a lot to
say about Ellen and Portia. And in case you guys don't know
who they are, I think most people have heard of Ellen.
I mean, she even just goes by her first name.
But Ellen DeGeneres is a comedian, talk show host, also
known for playing Dory and Finding Nemo and actress.
And Portia De Rossi is an actress.
But both of them are retired now, apparently, so they're
living their retired life. Yeah.
And we've gotten a lot of requests to cover Ellen and
Portia. But we had a listener send us a
voice message actually requesting this couple.
And it was our listener, Gerald, who sent it in 2023.
So it was a while ago. And I want to play Gerald's
message because we're finally getting to it.
Hello significant lovers, My name is Jeriel and I'm a big fan
of your podcast. I would love to nominate Miss
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi to be part of your
podcast. I think it'd be so fun,
especially with Ellen's background.
So we're we're finally doing it. Thanks Jeriel for the message.
Yeah, I'm interested in this couple, too.
I was saying to my dad, like, you know, Portia's kind of a
mystery, and he was a not if you watch Arrested Development, not
if. He loves.
Arrested Development so. Yeah, we were talking like about
this a week or so ago, 'cause I mentioned I think in my family I
knew nothing about Portia, never seen anything.
I didn't even know she was an actress.
Honestly, I thought she was just a model.
And then my dad, I think, mentioned that, or Kelly maybe
mentioned that she was on Ally Mcbeal and then someone else, I
think dad mentioned that she was on Arrested Development.
And I had no idea. Somehow her career just went
over my head. Or like, it was a way for me
somehow, Yeah. Well, Ellen is such a star she
wears wasn't such a star, but I feel like Portia did.
She became introduced to me as Ellen's wife and I feel like me.
Too she. Definitely kind of took a back
seat to Ellen's stardom. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, it's kind of like there's a lot of actors that we
know 'cause we watched a certain show.
I think TV actors are kind of strange that way because not
everybody watches the shows. I mean, I bet a ton of people
don't know who like Chase Crawford is for instance, or I
don't. Know.
Mischa Barton or I don't know, you're trying to think of.
Like. It's T VS weird that way.
So I think in the 90s she was pretty famous.
But yeah, cause a lot more people watched the same shows
back then, but now there's just so many channels that's
impossible for everybody to watch the same shows.
Yeah, more. Options.
So let's get into it. Who is Ellen?
I'm gonna start with Ellen first, OK?
I mean, I feel like Ellen has been such a part of this podcast
already 'cause she just comes up in so many clips that we share.
I mean, we've talked about her for sure.
And I guess I'll just say it now like I am pretty pro Ellen.
Yeah, I know she's had a big cancellation recently.
And as we'll see as we get into her life story, that's not the
first time she's been cancelled in her career, but for very
different reasons. I'm.
Not like pro or anti Ellen. I don't think she's she was
totally deserving of cancellation.
Like I don't think she did anything too too bad
comparatively. I do think she kind of has an
annoying personality and I. But see, OK, well, we're gonna
get. That's pretty much like.
The end of the episode, yeah, explain the whole thing.
But because it happened very recently.
But I have a suspicion that a lot of people jumped on this
cancel Ellen bandwagon because they just found her kind of
annoying. Yeah, which isn't.
Isn't a good reason to like ruin someone's career, but.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm ready to get
into that whenever it's time in this episode because I have a
lot of thoughts on it so. Yeah.
Good. But this is a safe space.
This is a safe space to say if, like you know, you are
sympathetic to Ellen, if. You love Ellen if you.
Hate you hate Ellen, this is. A podcast for you to.
Say that about Twilight if you love Ellen, if you you know this
is the podcast from. You, yeah.
So also, in case anyone doesn't know what Ellen looks like, I
don't know how you wouldn't know, but I guess it's possible.
She's blonde. She has big crystal blue eyes,
very blue eyes. You still have more shoulder
length hair in the 90s and 80s, but in recent years she's worn
it cropped very short and I'd say she likes to dress very
casually. Ellen Lee DeGeneres Lee is her
middle name, was born January 26th, 1958 in Metairie, LA and
her mother was a speech therapist and her father was an
insurance agent and she has an older brother named Vance and I
think they were Vance. Oh, OK.
He thinks more. Son, I thought it was dance.
No advance to enunciate better. She was raised Christian
Scientist, which is a branch of Christianity that believes in
healing through prayer and essentially believes that we
live in the material world but we are spiritual beings and like
our material selves don't really matter.
And she's talked about this like in her stand up and such.
She's pretty open about it but sounded like a kind of difficult
childhood. I mean I think she loved her
parents and brother but it sounded like they had some
hardships and it went on to become a lot more difficult.
Actually, her parents divorced when she was around 15 and after
her mother remarried she was moved to Atlanta, TX and her
brother Vance actually stayed in Louisiana with her dad.
So they were split up and then it actually gets really dark.
Just a warning, I did not expect this.
Like, I mean, you think of Ellen as just being so happy and like
wholesome all the time. But apparently when she was
living in Texas with her mom and stepdad, her stepfather molested
her a couple times. Her mother had breast cancer,
and her stepdad kind of, like, pretended that he needed to
check Ellen for lumps in her breasts.
And he did that, like, a couple times.
And I think, you know, tried to advance things from there.
And she, like, ran out the window and just sounded really
traumatic. I feel really bad for young
Ellen. And sadly, her mother did not
believe her when she told her this story.
And her mom stayed married to this man for 18 more years until
she finally, finally started to believe Ellen 18 years later
because I guess he, like, had inconsistencies with the story
or something. And yeah, so poor Ellen.
But after high school, she returned to Louisiana.
I feel like that's, you know, where she considers home.
And she studied at the University of New Orleans.
Where she Or at New Orleans. I'm like up here, we always say
New Orleans, but it's actually where she majored in
communications. But she left only, she left
after only one semester to do work for her cousin at a law
firm. But then she had a bunch of
other odd jobs. She was just doing random things
like working at JC Penney and TJ Fridays.
She was a house painter. She had a ton of jobs.
When she started getting into stand up comedy, it just sort of
happened. I think she was at a show of her
friends or something and they may be asked and if if anyone
wanted to get up, it might have been like an open mic type of
thing. And she just went up there and
did it and she enjoyed it. And her brother did stand up
too. So it's just kind of something
that she fell into in 1980. OK, this is getting sad again.
Ellen lost her girlfriend named Kat Perkov.
When Ellen was 22 years old. Her girlfriend died in a car
crash. Like, wait, sorry, romantic
girlfriend or friend? Yeah.
Yeah, romantic girlfriend. Mm Hmm.
Yeah. Apparently Ellen was was driving
down the road and she actually saw the accident on the other
side of the road. But I mean, she didn't know who
it was or I don't, I don't know why.
I don't know why she didn't know What Car she was in, but she saw
the cops were there and she thought, you know, like, oh,
that's sad. But she drove home and she
didn't realize that that was her girlfriend that had just died in
a car accident. I know.
It's so sad. And so, like, her life was
turned upside down. She was really distraught.
But it led to her writing her now famous comedy routine called
called Phone Call to God. And in this routine, she calls
God to ask like, why this person died when fleas are still around
and she gets placed on hold. And, you know, she turned it
into this like, whole comedic thing, turning her sadness into
humor. And she started performing it
around comedy clubs in New Orleans.
And then she entered a contest for Showtime.
And she actually, she ended up winning through this routine
phone call to God. And she was named the funniest
person in America from it. Wow.
But she said that actually went on to be kind of a curse cause
like, after that she would perform and they would advertise
her as like the funniest person in America.
Yeah, you know, she, she was like, I wasn't.
So people would get really mad. Yeah.
And she really only had this one routine.
It seems like it just got her to win that contest.
And then it went up from there. Her brother actually got a small
part on SNL, really small. It was called Mr. Hands in the
Mr. Bill sketch, and only his hands were in it.
It was like kind of like in SpongeBob when they would have
like, a hand, like bring in a thing and like, stop motion, a
little animated routine with hands in it.
Yeah. So I wouldn't say she got, like,
connections from her brother because all he did was use his
hands. But maybe she, like, met people
through him. I don't know.
So after her winning the Showtime's Funniest Person in
America, she started acting on some TV shows in the late 80s
and early 90s. And in 1993, she was in the
movie Coneheads. And she actually had some short
films that played at Disney World at Epcot called Ellen's
Energy Adventure. And they also starred Bill Nye
and Jamie Lee Curtis and some other people I did not know.
That seems like such a thing, you know, that you would go to
like just this random, yeah, 4D experience or something.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Yeah. Actually, adventure.
I find Ellen's young stand up comedy routines so funny.
Like it's really, it is kind of hard to not like her when you
watch her comedy when she was young.
It's just I've. Actually never watched or
listened. I feel like I should.
I was watching, I was listening to some of her comedy leading up
to this and it was making me laugh.
I have to admit, I was laughing out loud.
Yeah, I find her so charming. I mean, especially back then.
Like, her voice is a little different, too.
She had a different accent. So then in 1998, Ellen was cast
in the ABC show called These Friends of Mine, which is
actually renamed Ellen after Season 1.
So that's that's her sitcom Ellen.
And they did the thing that they always do on Disney Channel and
such where her character was named Ellen, you know, weird,
like fictional version. I mean, it's not her.
It was Ellen Morgan. I don't know why they always do
that. Yeah.
And I mean even on Seinfeld too. It's his first.
And yeah. True, but it's like a totally
fake world that they're living in.
I don't know, The Ellen Show was really popular and it reached
his height of popularity in 1987.
April 1997 when Ellen came out as a lesbian on The Oprah
Winfrey Show. And her character on the sitcom
also came out of the closet to her therapist, played by Oprah
Winfrey. So he was, like, both in fiction
and in real life. And they had planned to make her
character, Ellen, come out on the show, but that was leaked
before the episode aired, I think a couple of months before.
So then Ellen kind of had to like, come out in real life too.
I think she was planning to anyway, but I think it was
originally planned for the show to come out and then she'll come
out. But it kind of happened in
reverse. I kind of have a question that I
don't know if you know the answer to.
So she said she had a girlfriend before and I don't know if she
was out then. And then as she got more
popular, she went back into the closet and then she was coming
coming out again or what? Was there anything about
starting her career and being more secretive about being gay?
Probably I I know she said that in high school.
She wasn't out, but she would like secretly, you know, make
out with her friend, but she would have like a boyfriend at
the same time. And when her girlfriend died,
that was after high school. I'm not totally sure how much
people knew. Possibly people knew, but I
think as she started pursuing acting, I don't think people
knew. I think.
It was kind of a secret.
Yeah, I'm sure some people did. But in general, the public did
not think Ellen was gay. So it was a big deal.
Yeah. People were shocked.
And she also had a Time magazine cover where the caption said,
Yep, I'm gay. I've seen this Now Pretty Now
Pretty Famous and the episode that she came out of on the
Ellen show is called the puppy episode, and I wanted to just
share a clip with it of it with you guys because this actually
was a huge deal. I mean, people say this is like
the first celebrity to come out. I mean, and this was on the TV
show. I don't know if that's totally
true, but maybe I mean, maybe I don't know.
I think she was the first to just say like, yes, I'm gay, you
know what I mean? Without it being rumors or like
other people saying it, to proudly announce it.
So yeah, that's the other clip I have for you guys.
It's just a it's a short clip from the show just so you can
see it. This is this is so hard.
But I, I, I, I, I think I've realized that I am.
I can't even say the word. Why can't I say the word?
I mean, why can't I just say, I mean, what is wrong?
That why, why do I have to be so ashamed?
I mean, why can't I just say the truth?
I mean, be who I am. I'm 35 years old.
I'm so afraid to tell people. I mean, I just, Susan, I'm gay.
Funny that Laura Dern's there. I don't know if she was just
like in the show or what. Well, apparently Laura Dern
actually played her love interest, I think after this
episode, yeah. That's cute.
Yeah. Well, I think there were gay
characters, but they're usually probably like background because
in by this point they were friends with Ross's ex-wife who
was gay and her partner, but she they weren't a friend group or
anything. So this is the probably the
first lead character or whatever.
You know, yeah, that's true. My so-called life had a kid that
was gay, but he was, yeah, kind of a side character.
So I think you're right. I think.
I mean, the titular character, Ellen, was coming out as gay.
So it was a big deal. Even though some people were
really happy about this and excited, there was a ton of
backlash that we probably can't even imagine today.
Like sponsors started pulling ads from the show, including JC
Penney, where she used to work, and there were all these debates
and articles. It was like on TV, people were
saying she should have kept it to herself and that she was like
an affront to decency and all this stuff.
It was like a nationwide discussion.
ABC did renew another season, a fifth season of Ellen, but they
stopped advertising it entirely and it just started having
failing ratings and then was cancelled.
Dang. And Ellen has said that she felt
very bitter after her show was cancelled and that she did
literally nothing for three years after that.
And apparently Laura Dern because Laura played like her
romantic interest. Apparently, she also struggled
to get work after this because people saw her like as a lesbian
even though she wasn't, but because she had played Ellen's
girlfriend. So it was really, really rough
for Ellen. She was even like struggling
financially, I guess because she had no work anymore.
And then around this time, after the Ellen show, she started
dating the actress in Hesh who we recently mentioned dated
Lindsey Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac and they dated
until 2000. And then Ellen dated the
photographer Alexandra Henderson for four years.
So she she is out now. And I think people know and
people knew she was dating Anne and such.
And so we're now about around at 2001 and I'm going to stop with
Ellen for now. But to wrap up Ellen's
personality, I would say I think Ellen's hard to figure out a
little bit even it, which is weird because there's like
millions of videos of her. She's been on this daytime show,
but who she really is is kind of hard to figure out.
She's obviously funny. I think she's very observant and
self aware but she's sort of grumpy in like AI hate people
way but she but she does seem to also like love the people in her
life and her friends very deeply.
Seems a little bit like a people pleaser even though she is also
very grumpy sometimes. I, I don't know, I feel like
I've met people this way where like, they are very disappointed
by people and the world, but they also do care a lot about,
like, World Peace and such. And I feel like she is kind of
like that, maybe kind of like John Lennon in a way.
I think she does seem easy to talk to and friendly, but can be
a little bit uptight about specific things and is very
ambitious and sort of a workaholic.
Interesting person. Yeah.
OK, So then who is Portia De Rossi?
I've got no. Clue.
I know it was really fun to learn about Portia because I
didn't know anything about her. She's an Australian, American
actress and model. Oh, OK.
Yeah, she's Australian. Wow.
To describe what she looks like, in case you guys don't know,
she's also blonde. She in the 90s.
It's gonna sound weird, but I felt like she had a mermaid look
to her. She had like wide, thin
eyebrows, sort of angled eyes, long WAVY hair.
She used to do like the crimped thing.
And I don't know, she she looks like a mermaid to me.
And I don't know why I wrote about her personality at this
point, but I would say that she is seems very sweet, sort of
tomboyish, but girly too. She loves horses.
I would say that she's obviously very beautiful, but seems to
have sort of low self esteem. Interesting.
But likes to connect with people.
Was she? That's OK that I said that,
Portia. Easier to nail down than Ellen?
Or was she also slightly more of a mystery?
I'd. Say easier in a way, less I'd
say, like less contradictions, but obviously we don't really
know these people, but this is just from observing them.
So a bit about her background, Portia was actually born Amanda
Lee Rogers. Oh, they have the same middle
name. Oh.
Yeah, that's so weird. They had the same middle name.
What the heck? I have a comment middle.
Name though if Portia changed her last name, which I don't
know if she did, or either way around, then they would have the
same middle and last name. That's kind of crazy.
Well. Yeah, so when she was Amanda
Rogers, she grew up in Geelong, Victoria, Australia.
And yeah, she's not Italian at all.
That is a name that she adopted just on her own stage name.
Well, it's more than a stage name.
Like, she legally changed it to that.
So I'll get into that in a bit. But yeah.
So she grew up in Australia. Her parents were Barry Rogers
and Margaret Rogers. She also had has an older
brother, just like Ellen. When Portia was 9, her father
sadly died, which is really sad. That's not enough time with your
father. And her mom was struggling to
provide for Portia and her brother, so she began working as
a model and an actress in commercials around age 11.
And I do think this exposure to modeling and competing for jobs
and fashion shows at such a young age, I think it made
Portia kind of hyper fixated on looks and appearances.
And I'm gathering this from her book that she wrote called
Unbearable Lightness. I mean, she basically said it
herself. I'm not just making this up.
She started to become very fixated on that.
And when she was 15, she decided to change her name to Portia De
Rossi. I read she said it was to get a
job as a Hostess with a fake name, but then she just kind of
kept that name. Interesting for acting.
I don't know, but why would you? Think it Portia De Rossi.
Why would you need that for a Hostess job?
I don't. I don't.
Well, I think. She I think, was she underage or
something? Maybe.
And I think she just had a fake name for that job, and then she
decided to actually change her name to that fake name to also
reinvent herself as an actress. And she got Portia from the
Shakespeare play The Merchant of Venice.
And De Rossi she just saw on a movie's credits and thought it
sounded cool. So.
It does it's it's a nice name. Yeah, so she started acting and
modeling some more, and then she attended the University of
Melbourne, as they call it, where she studied law.
But I don't think she finished. She left school to pursue
acting. Her first big role was in 1994
in the Australian movie Sirens, which also stars Hugh Grant and
Sam Neil. And I kind of want to watch it,
but I haven't seen it yet. And then she moved to America
to, you know, pursue Hollywood. And strangely, Portia has just
seemingly completely dropped her Australian accent since moving
to America. And you will see interviews with
her later in this episode. She sounds completely American.
You can slightly hear it when she says the word anything, but
other than that, she just speaks with an American accent.
And it kind of weirds me out like that she was able to, I
don't know, change her name and just totally change her accent
and she just like became a new person.
I I think some. People are more susceptible to
that than others. Like I know, Caitlin, you've
been around people and then start mimicking their accent.
But I, I find that I even do too.
Like if I'm around people that have like a southern accent, I
find I start, I do start saying things kind of in their accent
and I'm like, I sound ridiculous right now.
I and even like when we've been in Ireland before around our
cousins in Northern Ireland, I towards the end of the trip was
like thinking in their accent. So I could easily see that
happening myself if I move somewhere and.
That's only after a week. If you're there for years upon
years or whatever, I guess you could see how your mouth almost
starts changing and the way you move your tongue and how your
jaw is. You just somehow maybe start
adapting it that way, especially if as an actor, she started
playing American roles with American accents.
And maybe it just stuck that way.
Yeah, you. Know yeah, she did she did say
it was on purpose because, yeah, she wanted to just land roles
and be seen as American. But yeah, yeah, I, I, I do think
people, yeah. Might I hear what you guys are
saying? But usually when you're not a
child, you don't totally lose your accent.
But she just she seriously doesn't have an Australian
accent anymore. But whatever, I always.
Just do stuff because because Harry Styles apparently lives in
the USA lot. He still goes to London and
abroad and whatnot, But every time there's a new interview
with him, all of his fans are like, he's losing his accent.
He's sounding more and more American.
So yeah. Yeah, I know he still.
Kind of has an English accent. Yeah, I know it's, it's funny
because it's like it's a little bit more accepted when people
lose their British accent or their Australian accent for an
American one. But when an American moves to
England like Madonna. Oh, and.
Fix it and start. Speaking, yes, we're speaking in
a British accent. People are like, girl, what are
you doing? I.
Know like but. That maybe be me.
I really feel like I would easily develop an accent if I
was around a lot of people that had one.
Yeah. Me, because it's interesting.
It's because I think a lot of Americans at least see the
American accent's default. So when the other people start
talking more American, it's about losing an accent.
But if you start talking. British.
It's almost. Like you're gaining an accent.
Like nobody's saying like, oh, you're losing your American
accent. Yeah so true.
I also feel like the Australian accent, I might be wrong.
I feel like it's not as strong as some other English speaking
accents. From an American point of view,
it is a little similar. OK, All right.
I disagree with you guys, but whatever.
I mean, I met this woman in London, and maybe it's just the
person, but she had lived there for like 20 years and she still
had an American accent. So really.
Yeah, I. Think it just buries person to
person? Yeah.
It's true and actually our our grandmother still had an Irish
accent. Yeah, and she lived there for
like 50 years or something. 40 years, I don't know how long in
the. United States.
Yeah, She never. Got an American accent?
Yeah, yeah, like almost 50 years.
I I like accents, I think they're cool though, so do you.
Like your own accent? No.
I I wish I had more of a distinct 1.
I kind of wish I had more of like a Boston accent.
I. Know or of course I wish I had
an English accent, it really gets me down the.
Cow and have a yard. Occasionally I say a few words
with one. Yeah, I feel like we say.
Words like hot dog or hot tub. Oh yeah.
Oh, I say hot. I say yeah, it's.
Really hot it. Was gonna be fun of that.
Same with I say popcorn like pup.
Oh. Yeah, Pup, Yeah.
I. Say pup too.
You know people. Make fun of people's accents
though. It's like, let the people have
their accents. Made.
Fun of, especially when I say wicked always get made fun of, I
know. But don't.
Don't ever stop. I know.
Don't ever stop. OK, OK, we got our atomic back
anyway, Portia. Back to Portia.
Pasha. So she did an American movie
called A Woman in the Moon, and there she met a man named Mel
Metcalf. Mel.
Yeah. Mel.
Hello. I'm not sure what his role was
on this movie, but he's now a music producer.
Before him she had had one fling with a woman and she did think
that she'd prefer to be with woman.
But she did actually fall for Mel.
And weird to say, I don't feel like I'm talking about you, Mel
the guy, and was very attracted to him.
But in the back of her mind, according to her book, she sort
of thought she was a lesbian or bi.
But she did like Mel and did want to be with him.
And they got married. So yeah, she married this guy
Mel. She was in the movie Scream too,
and then the movie girl. And then?
Yes, and then in 1998 she made her big break as Nell Porter on
the show Alan Mcbeal. She joined the main cast of the
TV show. It was a very big show at the
time she played. Someone watching it Mel on the
show. Nell.
Oh, Nell.
OK. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Sounds similar. She was very nervous about
becoming famous from the show according to her book, and
especially nervous that people would find out that she was a
lesbian even though she was married to a man.
So I'm not sure why she was nervous about that, but maybe
she was nervous that her past would come out or something?
I'm not sure. And she had heard about the
Ellen DeGeneres Show being cancelled after she came out,
and she actually read Ellen's mom's book, which was about
having a gay daughter. Ellen's mom?
Yeah. Ellen's mom had a book.
Well, 'cause Ellen was like the lesbian in Hollywood, basically,
like the only one. Do you?
Know if this was like a Jennifer Aniston situation where Ellen
was fine with her mom writing a book or.
I don't know, but I've never read or heard of Ellen being
upset about that, so I don't know.
OK, sorry. I I think it was like, positive
overall. I mean, it seems kind of weird
to us now, but it was like, at first I struggled with my
daughter being gay, but now I accept it.
Yeah. That kind of thing.
Yeah. Portia's time on Ally Mcbeal
sounded kind of sad. It sounds like she didn't really
get close with anybody. I mean, she joined in Season 2,
so I think, you know, they weren't that excited about there
being a new person, and they already had their routines
established and everything. In her book, she told a story
about asking a bunch of them to eat lunch together, but
everybody turned her down and said that they just did their
own thing at lunch. And she said at lunch she would
hideaway somewhere feeling like an awkward schoolgirl, which is
really sad. And this is when Portia really
struggled with a severe case of anorexia.
Her memoir, Unbearable Lightness, the story of loss and
gain, is mostly about her struggles with an eating
disorder. It's very dark and vulnerable
and she talks a lot about like, hating herself and dealing with
the thoughts she experienced when she was anxious about food
and her weight. And she also talked about
feeling like she was very average and not good at anything
and was very critical of herself in the book, even writing almost
matter of factly like that she wasn't good looking enough for
roles and that her profile was ugly and her condition was
getting worse and worse. I found honestly a lot of it
really disturbing to read, but I think it is.
Nice that she shared that and really like I'm breaking in a
way and people have talked about it a lot in recent years, but
certainly a lot of stars I think deny that they have problems
with like with problems and things like that.
So it's pretty cool that she shared it, but.
It is really. Dark though, yeah, yeah.
Just a warning if you want to check that book out.
Yeah, I've heard. That that book is like
triggering for people who have eating disorders 'cause it's
like. Yeah, she definitely shares,
like, her methods of losing weight and such, so.
But it's really sad. And she really bared it all.
Like, you sense that she was really struggling during those
Ellie Mcbeal years, and her marriage was not doing so well.
At the same time, she apparently was losing sexual attraction to
her husband, and she started having feelings for her
neighbor, a woman. And after three years of
marriage, her husband Mel left her and they divorced in 1999.
But crazy enough, her husband left her for her brother's wife,
so her sister and so. My sister.
Oh my God. But weirdly, Portia really
didn't seem to care that much. Like in her book she just said
it in like 1 sentence and you're kind of like huh like what the
hell my God. A couple a couple pages later
she explains it more but she didn't really seem like that
upset about it. Well, I.
Didn't upset on the behalf of my brother.
I know that's. Mostly that's mostly what she
said. She's like I felt so bad for my
brother but like she didn't seem sad that her husband was gone is
her. Husband and her brother's
ex-wife still involved in the family?
Or are they completely detached? Like did the brother and the
ex-wife have children and they still?
I don't know. I don't.
Know. That's kind of crazy, yeah.
I know that Portia and Ellen have talked about being aunts,
but I don't know where those kids came from, so I don't know.
I'm sorry, I'm not sure. No, that's okay.
But that'd be like, you would kind of hope you can just cut
ties and not have to deal with that.
But if there were children involved, you would just
constantly have to see your exes and you're your sister's ex or
your brother's ex all the time. Yeah, I mean they were in laws
themselves. Like I feel like that would be
yeah crazy. Like someone that you saw all
the time at like family events and stuff and then you get
together that's mad. That crazy seat I.
Know, but it's so funny how it was like on one page, like she
really didn't dwell on it. So that makes me, that makes me
think they did just cut ties because yeah, it didn't come up
again on yeah. Not dwelling too much on it,
yeah. I.
Think they're just happy meeting, but that's just a wild
footnote. Yeah.
In your. Autobiography.
I know after her divorce she actually said she had a beard,
which if anyone doesn't know, not a literal.
Beard. No, well I mean she had a fake
straight relationship as like a cover up.
So she admitted to that. Yeah, she said her and her
friend Eric would go to award shows and premieres and such,
and he would be her date. And they, like, pretended they
were dating. Yeah.
So she, as I said, was really struggling with her eating
disorder, and it was starting to get really bad.
Like she was in physical pain and collapsing and was unable to
do things and movies and such. But then she started seeing a
doctor and was essentially ordered to get better and began
her slow journey to recovery. And as you're starting to
recover, she decided that now might be a good time to come out
as a lesbian. But the reason is really sad,
she said. I figured that I had completely
ruined my career by being fat, so I might as well be gay.
Also, I figured that if I ever worked again, it would be a
character actress or playing the best friend to the lead female.
So if my homosexuality was rumoured around town, it
wouldn't really do any further damage to the image I'd already
created for myself by being fat. But she was not fat at all.
She was really like, so upsetting.
Emanciated. Yeah.
Yeah, So emaciated. Emaciated is the right word.
And then she wrote that after 911, she became terrified that
she could die without ever really living her life and
decided that she was ready to date a woman for real.
And so for three years, she dated the director, Francesca
Gregorini, who is actually Ringo Starr's stepdaughter, randomly.
I don't think a ton of people knew about this, but there were
photos published of them together.
It might have been that kind of thing where they were like, gal
pal, like what's. Yeah.
You know, which we've seen with people like Kristen Stewart,
most of her family and Ally Mcbeal Co stars in the public
didn't know that she was lesbian.
But they slowly started to learn.
And Portia said she was actually grateful for the paparazzi
pictures of her and Francesca because it finally pushed her
out to stop hiding. OK, so now we're finally at when
they met the night. They met.
It was 2001, Portia wrote. I met Ellen in 2001.
I feel bad like I, I hope this isn't like triggering talking
about like this eating disorder stuff, but it's it's like all
throughout her book. But she wrote I met Ellen in
2001 when I weighed 168 lbs. I don't know if it was that
weight exactly, but I was heavy enough that the thought that she
might have found me attractive or that we could have been a
couple never entered my mind. I remembered being so excited
and overjoyed to be around her that I can still recall the
feeling of running after her backstage at a concert we were
both attending for Rock the Vote.
So that's where they meant. I caught up to her, sat next to
her at a table and bought her a drink.
I remember what she wore, an orange knit sweater, white
T-shirt, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes.
I remember we talked about in a joke made as we and a joke she
made as we were looking down at the mosh pit.
I embarrassed myself by laughing too much and too loudly at the
joke, but I simply couldn't stop.
I thought she was the most amazing person I'd ever met.
She was highly intelligent, sharply observant and funny.
She was so beautiful it seemed that light emanated from her
bright blue eyes. I had the best night of my life.
I felt good about myself around her.
I was excited and yet comfortable.
At the end of the night, she invited me to come over her
house with the group of friends she'd met with at the concert.
I didn't go as we just met. I thought she was just inviting
me to be polite and I was too shy, too fat and too insecure to
go to her house with her friends.
I felt I had created the perfect memory of being around her that
night and I didn't want to ruin it.
As it turns out, she had invited those people over only so she
would have the excuse of a party to invite me over.
That's so sad, but also so cute at the same time.
Just the memory. Yeah, Portia.
So that was in 2001 and actually didn't reconnect again until
2004. Ellen was still in a
relationship with Alexandra Hedderson during that first
meeting with Portia that she wrote about.
I know. I think.
I know, I know, but whatever, like it, I don't know what
nothing happened. I mean, I maybe there was a
spark, but I don't know. So anyway, a few years go by
without them seeing each other, or maybe they saw each other but
they didn't talk or anything. In 2001, Ellen returned to TV
with a new sitcom called The Ellen Show, but it flopped and
was cancelled after 13 episodes. And then in 2003, she tried
something new and she launched her talk show The Ellen
DeGeneres Show, which we now know her from, and it was a hit.
She was known for dancing in the audience and pulling pranks and
making people laugh. And you know what?
Well, first I was laughing because she had a show called
Ellen and then a show called The Ellen Show, and then she had a
show called. The Ellen.
DeGeneres Show. They.
All sound the same, but then I. Was laughing because you were
describing this and you're like, she dances in the audience and
I'm just picturing it and I don't know, She's like, we
laugh. Yeah.
That's Ellen in those years after they met.
Meanwhile, Portia joined the show Arrested Development, as
you mentioned, Mel, because Ellie Mcbeal had ended.
And this time when she was on the show, she told the producers
that she was gay. I don't know if she had to do
that or like why, but she told them.
So she wasn't hiding anymore. And then they reunited.
They met again in 2004. They ran into each other at a
photo shoot of some sort, and the attraction was still there,
although they were both in relationships.
And Portia said about this. She had a girlfriend and I had a
girlfriend. But it wasn't like, oh, we're
going to have an affair. We were just supposed to be
together. And Ellen, Ellen told People
magazine it was a tough decision.
I was physically getting sick because I was trying not to say
anything. So I told Alex and she told
Francesca it was really hard to uproot everything.
They broke up with their girlfriends to be together.
That's good. I mean, we've seen the other
side of it and how being left for somebody else hurts.
But we've also talked about it's better to leave the person for
the other person instead of just cheating.
So at least they did that, you know?
Yeah, I mean, it still would suck to be the other partners.
Yeah, I. Would suck to be Alex and
Francesca, but I guess you can't really say like, oh, they
cheated on me, 'cause the best thing you want to do if you want
to be of somebody else is to leave your current partner.
So yeah. Unfortunately, yeah, there's,
there's no real perfect solution to that.
Yeah, you know, but I mean to, if you want to feel a little
better about it now, Alexandra is married to Jodie Foster and
Francesca is with Brit Marling, the singer with her sister.
So. Wait, they?
Found love her sister Britt Marling's.
Sister. Yeah.
Oh, interesting. I.
Don't know who she is, but I. Know Britt Marling?
Yeah, yeah, Princess is with her sister.
Oh. Interesting.
OK, so I guess it all worked out and.
It worked out. Wow, Jodie Foster.
That's a catch. I know.
Yep. So.
Upgrade. Everybody knew Ellen DeGeneres.
Like, as I said, she was really the first celebrity to come out
and be openly gay and announce it like that.
And Portia wrote in her memoir a story about how her grandmother
had called Ellen disgusting and stopped watching her on TV after
she came out. And then Fast forward two years
later, she told her grandmother that she was dating Ellen.
And at first her grandmother was really upset and was like, what?
But then I guess she closed her eyes for 20 seconds, opened them
and then said, I love you. Just the.
Same. Aw, that's sweet.
She. Talked a little bit more about
this in her book, like the stigma that Ellen had in a way.
And then she had talked to her mom about how she was gay.
And in the book she wrote, my mother would say to me, now
you're in a now you're in a relationship, people will find
out you're gay. And I would reply, relax, Ma, at
least I'm not dating Ellen DeGeneres.
Ellen DeGeneres was the worst case scenario.
She would expose me as being gay.
She would force me to live a truthful, honest life, to be
exactly who I am with no pretense.
I thank God for her every day. So yeah, I mean it.
She was like, seen as like the gay person in Bollywood.
Yeah, people didn't know Portia even was.
So it was quite a big deal was I think.
Yeah. Oh, Mel, what were you going to
say? I was.
Just saying it was Rosie O'Donnell out at that point I
feel like. I'm not sure I know.
I think she was the other. Yeah, I kind of see what Portia
was saying, because anybody that was probably seen even with
Ellen at the time was probably thought to be like, oh, you're
probably gay, you know, or maybe, yeah, Ellen, it's kind of
how even today, some people are spotted with Cara Delvine and
people think, oh, are they together?
Yeah, it's that kind of Yeah, I. Just did a quick Google search
and apparently Rosie came out in 2002.
OK, so yeah, after yeah, I. I remember because she would
always host the Kids Choice Awards, which was relevant to me
at the time, and I remember getting there was backlash.
I think maybe even people didn't want her to host it or
something, or she was maybe even fired from it.
I don't know for sure, but I think she did face significant
backlash. Clash too.
Interestingly, I I kind of researched a little bit of Rosie
during this because I don't think Rosie and Ellen like each
other. Oh.
Really. Apparently.
Yeah, they don't do anything. I remember Ellen went on the
Rosie O'donnell's show and they were talking about, they made
jokes about being, I think, Lebanese.
Yeah. I'm.
I'm Lebanese too. Interesting.
I always thought you might be Lebanese.
Yeah, like, obviously, but both like talking about being
lesbian. Yeah.
Then there was a funny story where Ellen was saying something
about how, like people said, you know, she couldn't have a talk
show because people didn't want to see a lesbian during the day.
But there's like both her and Rosie.
Yeah, that's probably why they didn't get along.
They were just competitors. Yeah, they were, yeah.
And Rosie pretty recently on I think Andy Cohen's show, said
like that she had never been asked on Ellen's show and she
seemed kind of shaded by that. And apparently Ellen said that
they weren't friends. So interesting.
I love Rosie. She's so funny.
I haven't, you know, seen her or anything in so long.
But when I was a child, it was like a comforting thing.
I don't know. But so I don't know all of this
about like Porsche dating Ellen like Oh my God.
I sensed that she felt like very judged, obviously from her
family and friends and Co stars and an immense amount of
judgment from the country that we probably can't even imagine.
So I asked our listeners, in any way, big or small, have you ever
felt judged for dating or liking someone?
Oh yeah, I asked. I asked Caitlin if this was
weird to ask because. I.
Was like, I don't know, there's probably a difference between
like being judged for being gay and then being judged for dating
someone that doesn't have a job or something.
But still, it, it hurts to feel judged for that.
And I asked you guys and actually 86% of our listeners
said yes, they have felt judged. For dating or.
Liking someone 14% sitting and elaborate.
Yeah, Heather said. I think there are two common
situations in which this happens. 1 high school
relationships popularity contest.
And two, the person you're after is not good for you and your
friends know it. I've done both crying face.
And then Allison said yes, my younger years really brought a
slew of bad slash, poor life and relationship decisions.
So that's kind of I guess applies to #2 like, 'cause
sometimes, sometimes people might be judgmental because they
think they're looking out for you or something.
Yeah. But it still feels shitty, you
know, I don't. And also it sucks for the person
that's being judged. I know other and there's so many
different reasons unless I deserve.
I know it's it's kind of a wide question.
Yeah, yeah, I do a lot of interpretations.
Yeah, I feel like sometimes when you are judged for liking
someone, it almost intensifies your feelings for that person
because you're like, oh, everybody else doesn't see what
I see. And you almost want to like
prove people wrong or something or just the IT like.
It. Strengthens like the sense of
pining. I think it can do that in
another aspect because you might feel that judgement and then you
might kind of close yourself off from those other people and more
invest yourself in your relationships.
And then you're more attached to that person because you think
that how your relationship is is more important than the other
person's opinions. And maybe they're wrong.
Those people aren't right for those opinions and for all that.
They might be wrong or right or whatever, but either way you
kind of grow closer because of that.
Yeah, I like, I'm thinking of Sam, Sam Taylor Johnson, Aaron
Taylor Johnson. Like it kind of becomes them
against the world in a way, Yeah.
Exactly. I think I've definitely, I don't
know, I guess I have been insecure in the past or like a
people pleaser and it has affected me not not to this
scale like Ellen and Porsche, but like I, I actually feel kind
of different from what you're describing.
Mel is like, it really upsets me when people don't like who I'm
who I like or who I'm dating and it makes me start to like
question it, which is bad, especially my younger self.
I mean, literally, I have like a fifth grade memory of liking
this boy that was kind of nerdy and my friend like made fun of
me for liking him. And I feel like I kind of like
told myself to stop liking him for that reason, which is so sad
but. There's like a whole genre of
humor or just like a lived experience on people.
I feel like about that feeling because you know that thing
about oh, like showing a picture to your friends of the person
they're into and you're like, it's a bad photo.
Yeah, you're like. Yeah, they don't take photos.
Well. They're not photographic, like
photogenic or whatever. Like feel better in person, you
know? Yeah, I.
Always felt like, because I've definitely experienced this
where everybody hates a particular guy that I dated for
probably good reason, but I don't think it ever lessened.
Maybe over time I was like, OK, I, I don't want to deal with
this anymore, but I think that it just made me be like, OK, I'm
not going to talk about it with people then.
Yeah, yeah, totally. I get that.
And I think that's why people were like in the closet,
obviously, like they knew people weren't going to understand.
They knew people were going to judge them and maybe they lose
their job or whatever. I mean, that's the extreme.
But, you know, it's better to just keep it to yourself, which
is really sad. Definitely, yeah.
I mean, it's not good. I I would not be that way
anymore. Like my 5th grade self.
I think that's really lame that I shut down my crush for.
This nerdy boy but. Yeah, cuz it depends on I mean
if it's something that OK, I. Mean there's so many
interpretations of this question yeah, yeah, because.
OK. If it's something that's not
really that important that they're judging you about, and
by that I mean like about your partner, like sexuality,
religion, race, anything like that, I would say don't let that
get in the way of your love. Yeah, that would be my big
saying. I think it's lame.
Yeah. Because I said to let that
happen. But again, there's so many ways
where it could be like this person was borderline abusive
and. Yeah.
Exactly. Then it's like everybody.
'S judging. Yeah.
In that in that case, you should take your place, yeah.
But like, I really value that. Yeah, yeah.
In a healthy relationship you should never be ashamed of your
partner. So for whatever reason that is,
maybe you have good reason to be ashamed because they treat you
like shit and then you know, re evaluate that.
But if people are judging them because of where they come from,
what they look like, their sexuality, you should love them
enough to not hide them who they are.
Yeah, yeah. And again, I've had problems
with that in the past, but. Okay.
It's, it's, it's a sad reality because like, obviously I'm gay,
so I can relate to relationships where people might want to hide
because of their sexuality, which I can understand.
Like that grandma seems homophobic, but you never know.
Again, if you come out and you say like, Hey, I'm dating Ellen
DeGeneres, they might take those 20 seconds and be like, you know
what, I love you so. You.
Really never know and you shouldn't let that stand in the
way of love, that's why. Unfortunately, a lot of people
don't care about things until it affects them.
Yeah. So I think that happens
sometimes. Yeah, yeah, though I don't know.
Well, yeah, it is amazing. Some people have never felt
that. I asked Charlie this question.
I was like, have you felt judged for liking someone or dating
someone? And he thought about it for a
second. He said no.
And if he was like, yeah, like who you?
Yeah. Yeah, I feel judged every day
for being with. You.
Yeah, I mean, more, more on these lines.
In 2005, Ellen and Portia made their first big public
appearance at the Golden Globes, at a Golden Globes party.
I don't even think it was on the red card, but just at the party.
But Ellen said it was a big deal for her to be seen with me.
Port Ellen. I mean, it's like, oh, I'm.
Just like. What do you call it?
Social pariah? Yeah, that's social pariah.
Later that same year, Ellen told People magazine People
definitely owns this beat this Ellen and Portia story.
Ellen said. It's the first time I've known
in every cell of my being that I'm with somebody for the rest
of my life. And, she added, if it were
legal, we would be married. But it's not legal.
What year is this? 2005.
They still got like 10 years or so.
Yeah, well, not not in Massachusetts lol.
Yeah, true. I'm skipping ahead a few years.
I I'm, I'm assuming everything was OK.
I'm sure life has its up and downs, but you know, she's doing
the Ellen DeGeneres Show. 2008 comes around and Ellen and
Portia become engaged. Portia said.
Ellen was going to surprise me with a commitment ceremony at a
joint birthday party we were going to have, so we made the
date of August 16th. I don't get that though, because
what their birthdays are January?
Yeah, they're both January, so I don't.
I'm just a little confused at surprising her with a commitment
ceremony. Is that just like, surprising
with an engagement? I don't know what.
Yeah, how? Can we do that?
Yeah. I'm surprised we're getting
married now. Yeah, surprised it's our
wedding. It.
Must have been engagement. It must be engagement at I don't
know if they weren't calling it engagement because it was just a
very quick commitment ceremony. I don't know, but like
commitment ceremony was supposed to happen in August, but I think
it was proposed at their joint birthday party and their
birthdays are both in January. So they made the date August
16th. And then during that time in
between, I guess gay marriage became legal in California.
So they were going to have the ceremony anyway.
And then they were like, oh, we could actually make this a
wedding. So that August they were wed at
their home in Los Angeles. There were about 19 guests.
Wasn't really a big affair, but Ellen wore.
Yeah, Ellen wore a white blouse and pants, and Portia wore a
white gown with like, a tulle skirt.
The dinner and wedding cake was all vegan because they were both
vegan at the time. And to People magazine, Ellen
said, what can I say? I'm the luckiest girl in the
world. And she said she's officially
off the market. No one else gets her, and now
she'll cook and clean for me. And then later, she said when
she returned to the show, I've been married for exactly 24 days
and I've now settled into it. I'm saying things like this
little lady will have the Caesar salad, no anchovies.
And. I'd love to be there, but the
old bond chain will let me out of the house.
That's funny and. Jokes, yeah.
Yeah, definitely. I can see some people taking it
literally in this day and age. But I was I was thinking as
you're talking about it, like I'm sure this is maybe come up
on the podcast before, but I it must be kind of tough in same
sex relationships when it comes to engagement.
Like who takes the lead on that? We talked about this a couple
episodes ago with Jen Tran, how she was on a Bachelorette and
proposed and it like stinks. But it is almost comforting in
straight relationships to have that gender norm where.
Yeah. The guy proposes.
Because I feel like I could picture myself if I was gay,
just like kind of waiting around for a while, like not wanting to
do it, but then the other person might not want to.
I think my opinion is I think a lot of you kind of OK, kind of
like straight couples for the most part.
You discuss it about like potentially.
Getting married. Or something like that.
My question though is who gets the ring if you both get each
other ring cuz you might be like let's get married but I don't
know if they do do the official kneeling down to propose type of
thing. I've seen lots of footage or
videos on TikTok, Instagram, reels, whatnot.
Mostly of lesbians where one proposes to the other and the
other also has a ring. They were planning to propose at
the same time or another time, so they both have rings.
Yeah. We're going to propose, so I
think it is very up in the air. Yeah, I said.
Because I wouldn't even say like, oh, it's the one who's
more masculine presenting or, you know, 'cause.
That's like that's not always the case.
Exactly 'cause sometimes there's 22 Butch lesbians in one
relationship or two femme lesbians in one relationship or
and that's. This is just talking about
lesbians at this point, but. Yeah, I'm sure.
It's a whole different thing also for gay men and then maybe
also with non binary people. So I don't even know I've.
Seen some couples who they both propose to each other which I
think is sweet in practice but if you're the person who goes
second it's like way easier. You.
Know the person is definitely. I mean, you should always pretty
much know the person's going to say yes if you're proposing, but
the stakes are way lower. I guess like in a way though,
you can like maybe one up the other person if you're going
second because you're like, oh, this person, did you know this?
I'm going to like raise it up a level and like go even more all
out. Part of the fun of a engagement
is the surprise of it. So if you're going second, it's
like, oh, like the surprise isn't there.
Yeah, maybe it's like a race to see who does it first.
That's. Fun.
Do you guys mind if I go to the bathroom real quick?
Oh, no, let's, let's do it. You do mine, you do mine.
Maybe I'll go too. OK, I kind of have to go, so
maybe I'll go. I'll.
Go. OK, we'll be right back.
We're back. OK, so they're married now.
And in 2009, Portia made her first appearance on Ellen's
show. Oh, I'm surprised it took her so
long. I.
Know, I don't know why. Maybe they're waiting for it to
be official. Official.
I don't know. But years later, yeah.
So it's after they're married and in this little segment,
Portia talks about what she loves about Ellen and it's
really cute. I, I know you guys listening
can't see it, but Ellen looks genuinely like so touched in her
expression. She looks very emotional.
But I'm going to share a clip. But.
That's actually kind of hard to do.
All right, yeah. See, now the reason I did that
is because she makes me look. Can you take these off?
You take it off, all right. Take the other one off.
No. All right.
All right, then don't just stand on that.
Every time we go out and get photographed, She she looks so
much taller than me. I'm taller than her.
Let's settle this once and for all.
You're always wearing these heels and I feel so short next
to you, so I have. My shoe back, yes.
All right. Mainly why I had you on the show
to settle that. Because Portia, Hey.
Ellen So. We've been married.
This is our seven month anniversary today.
So and I'm going to treat you like any other guest who just
got married. I would say how's how's married
life for you? I I think it's going pretty
good. Are you enjoying being married
to me? Yes, yes, I.
Am look at that. Remember that?
Yeah, I do. I got to say that was the
happiest day of my life. It.
Really was me too. Yeah, no, you.
Know people always ask me if there's anything that she does
that's annoying, like around the house, like if she leaves wet
towels on the floor, if she's messy.
And I got to tell you, she is considerate and kind and
wonderful and neat. Thanks.
Thanks really. The most?
Amazing. So what would you say about?
Thanks a lot. No.
Pressure. I would say the same thing,
really. Not the neat part.
I don't think you're neat, but you're kind and considerate in
all those things. I'm not.
As neat no. You're not as neat, it's just
not as important to you. You do hear the accent when she
says anything or whatever, yeah. Aw and.
You I kind of hate though, when you compliment someone or
whatever and then you say now compliment me back and they just
say the same thing or, you know, it's like, can you think of
something else to say? I know you're all.
Those things too, it's like, okay.
I know, I know. Maybe she she was like searching
for a joke. I don't know.
Yeah, I kind of. I kind of do.
That though, like if someone said like you're so pretty, I
say like you're pretty too, you know, that's different.
If it's one thing that's different, but they list all
these things and then they're like, OK, do me, like compliment
me now. Yeah.
All the things you just listed. I know.
Yeah, Push is very sweet. I just thought it was cute.
I thought Ellen's face looked. Ellen Ellen does look like she
adores her Portia. I could see it.
Yes, I. Love.
I love to see that. It's cute in the.
Eyes in 2010. This is when Portia's book came
out. Unbearable lightness, Story of
lost and gain. As I mentioned before, it is
very dark and vulnerable. But she opened the book with a
dedication, writing to Ellen for showing me what beauty is.
That's cute. Ellen has a couple books
herself, but they're so different from Porsche's.
They're entirely jokes. Most of the stories are super
exaggerated or, I think totally invented.
I mean, they're they're comedy books, you know?
Yeah. So it's just, it's just funny
how different their books are. Also in 2010, in August, Porsche
filed to legally change her name to Porsche Lee James DeGeneres
in order to take the last name of her spouse.
Where'd the Jane come from? I don't know.
I was heading everywhere for where that came from and I
couldn't figure it out. So maybe she disliked that name,
I don't know. And she wrote in a statement,
I'm thrilled to legally adopt my wife's name.
I will continue to use Portia De Rossi for professional purposes.
And Ellen tweeted, I just got some amazing news.
The court has granted Portia's name change.
She's now officially Portia Winfrey.
It is interesting. I don't know, like also how did
that decision happen that Portia wanted to become Portia
DeGeneres? But it I think it's funny
because like her last name was also a chosen name that she
changed to so. I think that's probably why,
because she didn't really. It's kind of.
Similar to Rossi DeGeneres. Yeah.
I feel like it goes well together.
Yeah. Throughout the 20 tens, as we're
entering a new decade, I will say there were a lot of rumors
about Ellen and Portia getting divorced soon, or you know, that
things are rocky, but it still has never turned out to be true,
Ellen told Howard Howard Stern. Take a.
Drink that she thought the rumors came about just because
they were boring otherwise and she said I don't understand why
they do it. We're kind of flattered because
for a while no one cared about us and we thought, oh, lesbians
aren't worthy of tabloid stories so we're kind of flattered they
care about us, but we don't we really don't almost break up.
We don't fight. We are madly in love.
I guess it's boring that's. Cute.
A lot of our articles were also questioning if Ellen and Portia
would ever have kids. In 2011, Ellen published a book
called Seriously dot dot dot, I'm Kidding.
And in one part, she wrote about how her and Portia's decision
had her and Portia had decided not to have children.
And she said we love to be around children after they're
fed and bathed, but we ultimately decided that we don't
want children of our own. There is far too much glass in
our house. And she said we have two dogs,
Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and
Chairman. We have two cats on our farm,
Tom and Little Sister, two horses and two mini horses,
Hannah and Tricky. We also have 2 cows, Holy and
Madonna, and those are the only animal.
Those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
So they're big animal people. Yeah.
I feel like that's so difficult of a lot of celebrities.
They just have like such a unrelatable amount of animals.
I know, OK. I know it's good to adopt so
many pets and, you know, get them out of the, the kennels and
whatnot and the shelters, but it's almost kind of borderline
negligence how many animals some of these celebrities have.
They've like 10 dogs or something.
And it's like the way you you can just, they have so much
attention to these ten dogs. They might be getting like fed
and like given water and walks and stuff.
But it's probably from like walkers, people who come to do
it, random strangers. I mean, maybe those random
strangers that you hire giving them lots and love.
But especially if you're off filming or touring and whatnot,
it's just, it's yeah, they're having a good life, but it's
just. I.
Wouldn't almost have that many pets.
Well, I guess, yeah, it's like, I mean, they are well cared for,
but I, I guess I don't know, like a cat or a dog, what level
of attention do they need from their owner in terms of the
connection? Like I just can't relate because
it would be a different type of connection that you have with
your pet. Like, you might love them, but
it's not like they are your everything, you know?
Like your world doesn't necessarily like revolve around
them. Like which has been the case all
of us. We like.
Yeah, it would be hard to be as obsessed with your pet as I
think the normal person typically is when they have a
couple at most I. Just find that insane.
It's, it's like a weird thing, like why do you need to have 10
dogs or 10 cats or all these farm animals even though you're
not a farmer or whatever, you know, it's what's the desire
there. Who's the excitement maybe?
Yeah, later on they do get chickens as well.
And like a gorilla sanctuary. Oh my.
God. That no, no I.
Mean they're not their pets. It's supposed to be for
wildlife, is it? Like automation or whatever
property or no? No, no, they just.
Own a zoo or something? Oh.
No, what? It's like a foundation to.
Help the gorillas but I thought they just had like a zoo on
property or something. No, no, that's OK that.
'D be great, but. They have access to gorillas I
would say. This is OK.
That's another level. If you have this gorilla
sanctuary in Africa that you can just go to and just see your
gorillas or whatever, OK. I mean, it's like in the wild, I
think. But they have, I don't really
know. I'm, I'm guessing they like help
sick gorillas too or something. I don't know.
Back to the timeline. In 2012, Porsche and Ellen
signed on to a sitcom pilot for ABC.
The channel ABC called the Smart One, but it never came to
fruition. I think.
I wonder what it would have been.
About jumping ahead again. Now we're in 2014 and they
celebrate their 6th wedding anniversary and Portia had the
word 6 spelled in the sky from an airplane to celebrate and
apparently that's Porsche go to gift for Ellen.
She does sky writing a lot or has sky writing done?
Is sweet the first time, but it's like the 20th time.
My gift is just skywriting. I don't know if it's 20 times
but. OK, but imagine if that's the
only gift you keep getting. Yeah.
I feel like that's like once a special twice, it's like, OK,
you know, kind of calling it back to the other time.
Yeah. Anything more than that is like.
It's. Not environmentally.
It's not environmentally friendly as well.
I read that. They.
Have trouble giving each other gifts because Ellen is extremely
wealthy and so Porsche is too and so they don't really need
anything. So I think Portia has to get
really creative with her gifts for Ellen.
Really not that creative if she keeps doing Yeah, running over.
Can't think of anything better than that, I guess.
No, that's the same. Year, Yeah, that same year, a
source told people. A mysterious source said they've
had their ups and downs. Portia has been very outspoken
about previous issues like her eating disorder, and she's good
at seeking help when she needs to.
They've worked out difficulties in the past and no doubt they're
trying to work out any problems right now.
So sounds OK a couple years later in 2017.
I don't know if this is credible at all, but Life in Style
magazine wrote a source tells Lifestyle that the Ellen Show
crew would often overhear the duo's fights.
Ellen hates that she never wants people at work to know about her
personal problems, and the source said it was a huge wake
up call for her. But I don't who knows if it's
true I. Don't think that's weird of her
to not want people to hear them fighting I guess.
I know I mean. Who wants that?
Yeah, nobody wants the coworkers or their employees hearing them
have a domestic Yeah, but. It's also not weird, it's.
Normal for couples to fight like it's.
Yeah, it is going to happen. In any marriage.
I think the one thing is like, they shouldn't be fighting at
work, but to be a talk show host, it's so much work.
So I can imagine Ellens probably just at the studio all the time.
Yeah, maybe this is also a factor in their relationship or
whatever. So probably that's where they
see each other a lot or where Ellen is 'cause that's like a
full time job. Yeah, exactly.
She. Comes for like lunch or whatever
and then the fight happens. So I could see why it could be
happening there. But yeah, yeah.
And I guess it depends on what they're fighting about.
I used to work with a man who every single time I walked by
his desk I could hear him on a call with his wife arguing with
her and it's like. Every time.
Almost every time. He was always so upset.
It's like. This is unprofessional.
This is. Bad that.
Is unprofessional. That's so funny.
I'm curious what they were fighting about.
Do you remember? I don't know.
He was a he was grumpy. Well, so was Ellen, I guess.
Yeah, she can be a little grumpy, I think, but she did say
of course to people. She that same year, talked about
Portia and said, this is a long paragraph.
I'm going to skip ahead a little bit.
I can't imagine not being married.
I have my best friend, the person I want to spend time with
more than anybody else in this world.
Portia and I constantly say to each other, we are so lucky.
Sometimes it's lying in bed at night before I go to sleep and I
just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there.
I've gotten to a place where I really am just settled.
She's not going anywhere. That's sweet, I.
Do think Ellen is a bit spiritual actually.
Yeah, I get that. Surprisingly, yeah.
And she's friends with Oprah, and so is Oprah.
So yeah. In 2018, Portia announced that
she had decided to quit acting. She.
Had been on the show Scandal actually, in recent years.
Oh, and I don't think it's like a main role, but and she
approached 45 years old and she said she wanted to do something
else. Ellen had also sort of hinted at
Porsche hating to do press. I think Porsche, this is me,
just like reading between the lines and she didn't say this,
but I think Portia does get pretty anxious from the whole
deal of acting. And I, I don't know, I think she
likes acting, but I think it makes her very stressed out too.
And I don't know if she was getting as many jobs as she had
hoped or I'm not sure, but I think it just wasn't really
working out anymore. You know, she did return to do
Arrested Development when it came back because, you know, so
many like, reboots and stuff. But besides that, she has
retired from acting. And Ellen and Portia, we're
doing a lot of philanthropy and charity work.
As I said, they started the Ellen de Generes Wildlife Fund
Fund, which has like a gorilla sanctuary in Africa.
And Portia is now the owner of general public and art curation
and publishing company and I feel like her and Ellen just
have so much money she can basically do whatever she wants.
So she like, she could probably just live off of Ellen's money.
I would just oh, a. 100%, yeah. Yeah, If I didn't do anything,
yeah. I feel like, I mean, acting
might have just been a job for her.
Like I feel like for a lot of people, if you didn't have to
work, would you? A lot of people would say no.
They would just do whatever. They want true.
Yeah. Especially because she's had an
eating disorder, I don't think that a Hollywood would be the
healthiest place for her. No, I.
Know I think it's been hard for her and.
That probably would be part of her healing and her process.
Of. Recovery to probably also step
away from the limelight. Yeah, I.
Agree, this is the point in the episode where I wanted to talk
about. I couldn't really even find this
this time around researching but I remember people on social
media and such claiming that like Ellen doesn't let Porsche
work or something. Have you guys heard that?
Yes. I have heard that that was like
one of those keeps. Her at home, Yeah.
That was like once Ellen was getting her backlash.
That was one of the things like, and she's awful to Portia and
hides her away in the house all day and like, I don't know, you
don't know. Especially like with everything
Portia has been through, you don't know, yeah, what's going
on in their life. She doesn't owe us her presence
in the public life. Yeah, I was trying to look this
up, but I couldn't really find, like, any evidence that Ellen
has done this. I mean, Ellen does make jokes
sometimes. I think she's trying to make fun
of, like, the patriarchal, typical heterosexual
relationships where, like, she's the man.
And as I said, like, she's like, oh, she's my ball and chain or
whatever. But yeah, Ellen's joking.
Yeah. She's making fun of husbands
when she does that. Yeah, that's who she's making
fun of. Yeah, and I think Portia did
kind of struggle with acting and getting jobs and dealing with
her mental health and everything.
And so I think it just genuinely is true that Portia retired from
acting. I don't I don't really think
it's like Ellen didn't want her to work maybe, but I just
haven't seen any like hard proof of that.
So if anybody knows anything, I don't know, like tell us.
But I think Portia kind of had some professional uncertainty.
I don't I don't know. I don't think she was like Emma
Stone, you know, like getting nominated for Oscars all the
time. Like she she kind of struggled I
think to get roles so. Yeah, for whatever reason.
So that's just the reality of it.
In 2018, also same year that Portia retired, Ellen returned
to stand up with the Netflix special relatable.
And is I listened to it, kind of watched it, listened to it and
it did make me laugh. And she kind of predicted her
own downfall, though she mentioned on the show how she
had always ended her Ellen DeGeneres Show by saying be kind
to one another. And now that now that she has
said that for years, she's the be kind girl.
And now she can never be mean or get upset.
It's like she can't honk in traffic and whatever.
And it's, I don't know if she herself kind of inspired the
backlash with this own this joke of hers, because I feel like
that in itself is like what led to her eventual so-called
cancellation. Yeah, we're.
Coming to that, we're almost there.
We're almost there, but so 2020, February 2020, still in the
innocent February 2020, we we didn't know what was going to
hit us yet. Ellen shared on her show that
whenever Portia has to go out of town and I'm not with her, I
surprised her and I called the hotel and set it up.
They put a huge heart-shaped thing of rose petals on her bed,
so when she walks into the room, the whole bed is covered with
heart-shaped rose petals. Cute.
That's very. Cute.
I know they seem to like to do gestures to each other.
It's it's feet. I forget who was the guest on
her show, but they were like wow, like what the heck?
I don't do that. Like I don't know anyone that
does that like that's. Crazy because.
Ellen is extremely wealthy. Like, that was kind of part of
the joke of her relatable show. Like she acknowledged it in the
beginning. I think she did a good job of
it. But she was talking about how
her friends said, how are you going to do stand up?
Like you're not relatable anymore?
She made a lot of jokes about like, having a Butler and blah,
blah, blah. But I I think it was all tongue
in cheek. Yeah.
Because that is kind of the thing with stand up.
It's supposed to be very universal type humor that you
can just be like, oh, this thing, everybody knows this and
we all deal with this and this isn't that funny or whatever.
But you can't like do that if you're Uber rich and you're
like, and then my Butler did this.
Isn't that. Don't we all know what it's like
when your Butler takes a day off and doesn't tell you?
Ha ha ha, you know? Exactly.
Yeah. So that had happened.
And so I think that was already rubbing people the wrong way.
And then the pandemic hit. Yeah, and.
Then people just had a lot of time on their hands and people
started cancelling each other left and right.
And Ellen became a target for people sifting through all of
her interviews and tweeting about her.
And I would say this was the second cancellation in Ellen's
career. Oh.
Would you say the first was for being gay?
Yeah. I mean, I don't think that was
really a term back then, but yeah, I would say that she was.
Cancelled. Yeah.
She was literally cancelled. Yeah.
Literally, she was. Cancelled.
And then this happened. So, yeah, people were talking
about how, oh, Ellen isn't as nice as you would think.
And one thing that really spurred this discussion was when
she had Dakota Johnson, the actress on her show.
And I, I have the clip, but you guys have probably seen it,
right? Yeah.
Yeah, actually. That's not true, Ellen.
You were invited. So.
I don't know if you if we should be watch it right now, but I
I'll play the clip. I won't invite.
Anyone hasn't seen it? That's my.
Impression. Yeah.
Happy belated birthday. When was your birthday?
It was October 4th. October 4th you turned 30.
I did. And how was the party?
I wasn't invited. Actually, no, that's not the
truth, Ellen. You were invited last.
No. Last time I was on the show last
year, you gave me a bunch about not inviting you, but I didn't
even know you wanted to be invited.
Well, who didn't even be invited to a party?
Well, I. Didn't even know you liked me
of. Course I like you.
You knew I liked you. You've been on the show many
times and and don't I show like? Yeah, but I did invite you and
you didn't come. So this.
Time. You invited me?
Yeah. Are you sure?
Yeah. How do you know?
I don't think so. Ask everybody.
Ask Jonathan, your producer, who thought you were.
I was invited. Why didn't I go?
I don't know. Was it?
Oh, yeah, I had that thing.
It was probably in Malibu. That's too far for me to go to,
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
No, I think I do remember I was invited.
Thank you. You're.
Welcome that. Was the party.
I wasn't invited. That's not true.
I mean, you know why I do feel bad for Ellen in this club
because everyone was like, me too.
She's calling her out, but it's like Ellen is a talk show host.
A lot of these interactions with their guests are not scripted,
but like, it's not a real conversation.
Ellen is meant to contain people.
And sometimes that means being like, that means being funny.
And sometimes that is like making little jokes like that.
Like how was the party? I wasn't invited.
Like it's not, it's people are so stupid.
Like it's literally, they're so stupid.
She. Might have even.
Known that she was invited but just said that like to be funny
and I don't. Know yeah it just.
Kind of backfires, I guess Dakota Johnson just wasn't
playing off of the joke or whatever.
I don't know. Or, or dry humor just didn't the
tone that Ellen was Dakotas. Yeah, 'cause Dakota's just
didn't have delivery. Yeah, it's not.
Well, maybe she was trying to be like, actually you were invited,
but just came off like, actually you were invited.
I don't know. I just think I'm off, right?
I feel like this is an unpopular opinion, but I find Dakota
Johnson very weird in that interview.
Kind of like a wet blanket. Yeah, she just took it way too
seriously. I think cuz there was there was
something before where last time she was on it, Ellen was giving
Flack for not inviting her. So then the second time Ellen
was giving her Flack for not inviting her, she was like but
you were invited. I don't know so I can.
OK, but Ellen is Ellen. Is Ellen.
OK? Like, she is the host of this
daily talk show. She sees so many people.
She's like Oprah, I mean. Yeah, do you really?
Expect Ellen to go to, like, everything.
She's probably so freaking busy. I know Oprah has talked about,
like, how she has to say no to so many things.
Yeah, like, constantly. She's asked to do like 15 things
a day. Yeah.
I actually like not relatable, but Ellen, you can't just like
invite Ellen to your party and expect her to go I've.
Seen Ellen make that joke with a lot of people cuz like that's
like kind of, yeah, a cliche thing.
People talk about their big birthday party that they had on
the talk show. And I have seen her make that
joke. I wasn't invited.
It's like, I just think it's like kind of a throwaway joke,
especially when you do a talk show every single day.
Sometimes you have to just like those same like easy low hanging
fruit jokes and like, yeah, maybe some people might think
that's boring and hacky, but it's meant to be a comedy show,
So what do you expect? I don't know.
I think also part of it is 'cause maybe it's just continued
Gen. X humor or something like that,
that maybe these people or Gen. C don't find funny and like you
said, like it's low hanging fruit.
So they just don't take it as a joke, you know?
Someone in Ellen's position would have an assistant managing
stuff like that too, so it would be really hard to remember what
you are invited to. Yeah, Didn't someone say maybe
I'm pulling this out of my ass, Maybe it's not real, that when
she was supposed to go to the party, she was at that tennis
game with George Bush or something.
Oh, maybe. And so then people were like,
even more like. I don't know what her deal is
with George Bush. Yeah, that's a little weird, but
I think that was one of the reasons she was always getting
cancelled. I don't know if you're going to
touch on that because she's friends with George Bush, even
though their politics don't really align.
So I. Know it's so weird because she
seems to hate Trump too so I'm like, I don't know what's going
on. I feel like with Ellen, people
were just like, I mean, I remember hearing I actually had
a falling out with a friend because.
She because of. Ellen.
Because. Of Ellen.
It was about Ellen and somewhat applying for this friend at the
time. I wish her the best, I truly do.
But she was applying for internships and she applied for
Ellen and she thought she was going to get it.
And then she didn't get it. And I said, oh, I actually have
heard rumors that she might be a bit of a diva.
This was way before this. This was like 2016.
And the friend kind of got mad at me and was like, no, she's
not a diva. Like, yeah, I was just saying
that to be helpful, you know? Oh, maybe it's for the best that
you didn't get it. And anyways, that was kind of
like the end of our friendship. But again, I wish her the best.
But end. Of your friendship, That's an
insane reason, no? No, no, it was straw that broke
the camel's bag. I was like, OK, I was trying to
be nice by saying something to comfort you and you're getting
mad at me about it. So I was like, weird.
Wish you the best, but we don't need to be.
Thanks. Ellen.
Yeah, but it was like, literally, it was over, Ellen.
That's so crazy. And then it was just so funny
because then four years later, like everyone was cancelling
Ellen for being a DJ. But really?
I feel. Like you, I feel like you were
like sticking up for Ellen. Weird.
I. Am well, well, yeah, I just said
that like, oh, maybe it's for the best that you don't work for
her, but I do think that it's it's just the way it is.
A lot of people in positions like her are kind of a strict
boss. And I mean, it's kind of natural
to like hate the person at the top in any working condition.
And sometimes like they might be creating a toxic work
environment, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are a
bad person. It is People should always
strive to be better. They should always strive to be
a good leader and be nice to people.
But I just feel like the uproar about Ellen's behavior was like
disproportionate to what she actually did.
And I think a lot of it comes from a place where they were
holding her to a different standard because of what you
said. She was to be kind lady and she
was funny. And when someone who is always
funny and seen as you would be like what like?
But we don't own these people. They are not obligated to be
funny and nice all the time, Ellen has said.
Like people, when they would see her, would always tell her to.
Dance or expect her to be to dance or just expected her to be
funny. And I think that might have
really started to aggravate her and become difficult, like
because she is just a real human being, but her character on the
show is. Very, I mean pulse pranks and
everything, but kind of like wholesome type of humor.
And it's not really who Ellen is.
It really isn't. I think in real life she is like
more, I don't know, crass, but like down to earth and just like
normal. So what you were saying, there's
like two things happening at the same time.
When this goes down, there's people talking about how Ellen
isn't nice. And it really kicks off because
this guy, so-called comedian Kevin T Porter started of
Twitter thread where he said Ellen de Generes is notoriously
one of the meanest people alive. Everybody tell me your stories
of when Ellen was mean or something.
And it got like 70,000 likes and all these people were responding
to it, telling stories about Ellen, some people saying like
she was told to never look her in the eyes.
When? She was on the Ellen Show and
another person claimed that every day Ellen picks someone
different to hate and that Ellen had someone fired for wearing
chipped nail Polish while serving her food.
However, there's no proof to any of this.
Like it's all just tweets, you know?
I mean, some of it could be true, but like, it's really just
random people tweeting stuff. We don't know if any of this is
true. It could be totally made-up.
But simultaneously, there were these news reports coming out
that crew members on The Ellen Show were saying that producers
had not treated them well during the pandemic like that.
They didn't tell them anything about the status of their
working hours, pay, inquiries about their mental and physical
health or whatever. And then people were saying that
some of the executives on The Ellen Show were problematic,
that there were incidents of harassment and sexual misconduct
and assault from top producers, specifically from the executive
producer Kevin Lehman, executive producer Ed Glavin and Co
executive producer Jonathan Norman for inappropriate
behavior. So like the all of this is
coming out. That is like a toxic work
environment. But like, is it really Ellen's
fault? And like that's up for debate.
But I do think it's like a tough situation because Ellen is just
a comedian. She's not really like a business
person. Like, we don't know how involved
she really is with like, this whole show and these guys and if
she was OK with it or whatever. But I feel like two things were
happening at the same time where people were saying, like,
Ellen's mean. And then there was like, oh,
this whole thing about the workplace.
And that really sucks if if people were being assaulted and
such. But it wasn't like Ellen was
doing it. And I don't even know if Ellen
necessarily knew. Yeah.
And I mean stuff like that is tricky in the.
Workplace because if there's an investigation going on, like
Ellen is only probably Privy to so much information.
And yeah, I was wondering, like, is Ellen even the boss
technically or is it? Like the network?
Yeah, I don't know how that works in network TVI don't know
like if. She's also a producer maybe.
She's also technically kind of a boss.
Obviously she has power. I think that's why people assume
even if she. Didn't really know what was
happening. She might have been involved in
there hiring or if that's going on in your company, if it was
kind of a part of her company or if she owned any sort of stake
in it and you had your name attached to it, then there is
some liability. That's what I meant to say,
yeah. But I guess we just don't know
behind the scenes. Like how much she was involved
and like they had to do an investigation and before getting
these people fired. And, you know, like, we don't
know, like in terms of it getting leaked to the press, how
long it had been going on for and what people know or don't
know. I mean, this happens in
workplaces and it happens sometimes oblivious to other
people. I can just imagine my I guess
I'll say like places I've worked.
Or maybe you guys can relate. Like, I do think sometimes the
highest people, the highest up don't know what's going on.
They have no idea what's going on.
Yeah, they don't, I think. I think people don't.
Want them to know? Sometimes that like it's such a
shit show or maybe they're afraid I don't to complain or I
I don't know. Or it just maybe the people seem
way too busy. It's like I can't bother them or
I don't know. I can believe that maybe she
didn't know that's I'm. I could be being way too
gracious here, but just from my experience in like corporate
settings and at the end of the day, this is just a business.
Like I can just imagine that people wouldn't know everything
going on. Yeah, and I do believe like she
was not a great boss, but. That's just case for a lot of
people. A lot of people are bad bosses,
good people. We've all worked with someone
like that. And I don't necessarily mean
that means that the whole world has to hate them for it.
Yeah, I think it was just so many things at.
Once, like you said. That and it was the Dakota
Johnson may be mean to some past celebrity guests thing 'cause I
think there was another and Ellen said that quarantine felt
like. Jail.
Yeah. So there was that, yeah.
A lot to do with COVID. Restrictions and filming from
her house and lots that people didn't like about that.
And I think there was some pressure with I think forcing
Mariah Carey to announce pregnancy or something.
So there were they past things that were coming out as.
Well, yeah, like. Old things where I think somehow
got Mariah Carey to announce that she was pregnant and then
Mariah Carey before she was ready to, and then Mariah Carey
ended up having a miscarriage. So then it just became kind of,
that's not Ellen's fault. Well, it was Ellen for forcing.
The information out of her but anyway.
And then then there was like that George Bush thing.
So there was just a lot going on at once because everybody was
kind of digging up dirt on Ellen.
So it was just a lot all at once.
I feel like this just gets keeps getting more and more
intensified. In the age of social media, like
you got 1 little thing that's bad about someone and then it
snowballs and then all of a sudden like we are pulling every
single moment when they said something wrong or they came
across unlikeable. And if you're a talk show host
like Ellen, you're going to have so many, just so much footage of
you where like maybe that day or thousands of hours.
Yeah. And like you're going to be
able. To find clips where you're being
rude. Because we're all rude
sometimes, especially since her career stretched on for decades.
At that point, and obviously she was working before it was even
as a lesbian woman, like before it was encouraged to be PC, you
know, yeah, I kind of feel like people do this with every
single. Talk show host nowadays like
maybe not like Kelly Clarkson or Jennifer Hudson, but especially
the late night talk show host, everyone acts like they are all
scum of the earth. It like I know like one of them
where you're like, I I hate Jimmy Fallon, I hate him.
I hate James Corden, I hate him. And it's like, what For what?
OK, I will say. I.
Don't really like. Some of them, but I.
Think it's just. Because people find them
annoying. I think that's it.
But it's just like I know. And then I think people want to
validate. Their.
Uncomfortable feelings or whatever.
So they try to find some. Like instead of just admitting
that you're kind of uptight or a jerk or something for just
finding someone annoying, it's like, no, I have to find a
reason why they are the problem. Yeah.
Dig through interviews and justify.
Your. Dislike for somebody just don't
watch them but I feel like especially being a talk.
Show host is a hard job. Like my brother's a stand up
comedian and like the amount I mean, obviously these talk show
hosts do have writers, but like it is hard to be funny all the
time. And they're doing shows five
days a week. So there's gonna be times when
like your jokes just like aren't funny and like they miss and
like that's a part of the job. They you don't know what is
going on in their lives. They can be having a terrible
day. It's like someone in their life
is dying and they have to show up and make you laugh.
That's not always gonna come across perfectly the way you
would want it to. Yeah.
I mean, I do agree like.
I'm sure as I said. Like, I do think Ellen can be
grumpy and like I hate people type of person.
I do. And I can imagine that she can
be sharp with people sometimes. And after all of this was coming
out, Portia did defend her wife Ellen.
She posted an image on Instagram that read I stand by Ellen with
the caption to all our fans, dot dot dot, we see you.
Thank you for your support. Hashtag stop bot attacks Hashtag
I stand with Ellen DeGeneres. Hashtag I stand by Ellen hashtag
I stand by Ellen DeGeneres. So she's showing, showing her
support for her wife on and on top of all of this, Ellen and
Porsche home was actually burglarized that summer 2022 and
apparently they were home while it happened.
Ellen did apologize more than once and staffing changes were
made, but still, Ellen announced in May 2021 that her talk show
was ending after nearly two decades.
And Portia did come on one of the very last episodes.
And I thought it was very sweet. And it could have been just for
damage control for Ellen's reputation, I think.
But Portia did really like talk highly of Ellen in this clip.
So this is I think my last clip that I'm going to play, I think.
So here it is. Hi.
What?
Do you want to talk about? Really.
Well, you actually all right. I mean, let's.
Let's talk about stuff, OK? Talk about stuff like.
What? Well, let's see.
Well, I. Know you better than anyone.
I think you'd agree, yes, you do, You know, it'd be better
than anyone, better than anyone. And there's certain.
Things that I think other people should know about.
Like for example, this woman never reads her own press ever.
She's just doesn't I I read it for her sometimes, but she never
reads it. What else?
She has no idea how many awards she's won.
She doesn't even care to tell me when she's nominated for
something ever. And then when she comes home
from work, she never talks about the celebrity guest.
She always talks about that special person that was in this
chair that really affected her and touched her because they did
something amazing for for other people.
And that's what she talked about.
It's true. It's true.
Yeah. It's.
True. It is true.
Yeah, yeah. And then think.
About it like that, well, I, I. Want.
To say because, you know, obviously it's it's weird to
interview her because I know everything about her.
So to ask questions is silly. But this, this is really.
You came into my life on the second season of this show.
We've been together for 17 years and a half and so and a half.
Yeah, so so with this show ending you.
Know it's actually. You know, a big thing for both
of us because we've both. You've watched me go through
everything with this show, but I I learned today that which I
didn't know there's a story of watching me the first show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know I was an.
Actress and I was closeted and Ellen was kind of like the
litmus test for for young actors in Hollywood because we just,
you know, her success meant so much to us.
It kind of meant can I be authentic and honest and still
be able to pay the rent? You know, So I remember watching
the first episode of this show standing the entire time.
And I remember I was alone. I remember saying out loud to
the TV she did it and I yeah, yeah.
Because I mean, you could just. Feel the magic.
Oh my gosh, I'm emotional. Already, that's terrible.
No, but you can. You can.
You can feel the magic in the show.
And I just knew that it was going to be around for as long
as you wanted it to be. Yeah, well, I didn't.
I didn't know that that's how you watch the show.
I didn't know you didn't have. Furniture then, but I feel like
Ellen looked so small and kind of.
Sad, I know. Maybe touched in that clip.
It's very old. Yeah.
Yeah, she's older. Old.
And kind of. Tired, but she doesn't.
Kind of. Worn.
It's good that she doesn't read press.
About her though. Yeah.
Which is kind of surprising. I don't know.
Yeah, I thought. She felt like the person who
would have, but I guess that's good that she doesn't.
I mean, this is my thing about you.
Just you just said that Ellen was old, so.
That made me think of this. My thing with Ellen and why I
think people need to kind of chill out is, and I've said this
before in the podcast, I know that when she dies, which guys,
it will happen someday. I mean, she is in her 60s.
It could be next year. It could be 20 years from now.
But when? Oh, my God.
OK, OK, cut that out. Cut that out.
No, keep it. No, I mean.
Cheaper. People need to know.
It could really happen, yes. And I know when Ellen dies
someday. The switch up is going to be so
fucking fast. You guys are going to be
mourning. You're going to be grieving
because someone who was in your home and you're living for all
this time, who made you laugh. At some point, she made you
laugh. I don't know when it was.
I don't know when it stopped, but she did.
She made you laugh, and you. Guys are going.
To be like, Oh my God, she was my child.
She was my this. She was my that.
And you know what? I don't want to hear it because.
Yep, you have to give people their grace.
And their forgiveness. And empathy while they are
alive. It happens all the time with
these celebrities. You guys act like you were a fan
all along even though you were making fun of them or canceling
them. And sometimes it's for a good
reason. I was a little surprised.
Don't cancel me when Michael Jackson died and everyone acted
like they were like the biggest Michael Jackson fan in the whole
world. Yeah, it's like for the last 10
years. You guys have been kind of like
making fun of him or? I mean, with, I think good
reason, you know, he did have some very problematic stuff
going on, but it always happens and I know, I know for sure it's
going to happen. With Ellen someday.
I've already heard a little bit of a switch up, but not.
In necessarily good way, but I think it could lead to a full
blown resurgence of her career potentially.
The only thing is that I've seen is people are saying like, oh,
we need to bring Ellen back. Or there was a reason Ellen was
around or is a good thing she was around because because she
was important to the landscape of pop culture in a way.
Because there would be all these like micro celebrities and micro
people who got viral and then they would go on to Ellen and
they would become like instantly forgettable or like their 15
minutes of fame would go away. But now without Ellen, they're
not going on her show. They now just continue on the
online and they like, get podcasts this and they do this
and they just don't go away. Like their 15 minutes of fame
don't end. And we were like, Ellen used to
basically like, invite them on. And then the joke would be kind
of over and that would be it. And people would get their feel
of that person. And then we would, yeah, we
would never hear those people ever again.
And so people are like, if only Ellen was still around when
Haktua or whatever came out. Oh my God.
And then yeah, the joke would be ruined after that.
Yeah, it's like kind of like we don't know where to.
But yeah, it's like we don't know where to put.
These people now, yeah, like put them on Ellen so that they can
disappear into. The ether of like exactly.
So I've seen that I've seen. People talking about that.
So the opinion is kind of changing a little bit and it
could lead to, again, further down the line, maybe resurgence
of her career. I don't know.
I don't even know if she really wants that completely because
she is getting older and maybe she is ready to just retire,
retire. But the opinion, I guess
publicly could change. I just feel, yeah.
And I just feel like her impact on society.
At large has been generally so positive, regardless of her
being cranky. And like, I, you know, there's
so many people probably in Hollywood, there's so many
people in Hollywood who are probably accepted as the way
they are. And people say, oh, that's just
so and so. And they're probably all men and
they are respected for it. Like nobody.
Nobody is out here being like, Oh my God, Simon Cowell is such
a jerk. Terrible person to work for.
I mean, people are saying that, but no one wants to like, cancel
him for it. Gordon Ramsay, all these people
who are like, kind of like beloved sometimes for being
assholes. But Ellen is not given that
she's not, she's held to a different standard.
I know I'm I, I'm not sure what. Punishment, I think, is adequate
for this kind. Of thing, yeah.
Maybe it was time to end her show anyway.
Even though it's getting sad but.
I do. Think that Ellen deserves so
much more respect than she's getting.
Yeah, for her whole career and just even what she's done for,
like, LGBT recognition and everything.
And yeah, it makes me sad that people are just willing to,
like, throw that away and not care about it.
But I hope, I hope that like in a couple years, she gets some
kind of like lifetime achievement award at, I don't
know, the Oscars or something, or Emmys.
I don't know what it would because I think she deserves it
and I think something like that would healed this.
Yeah. Before all this, Before all
this. Obama.
Gave her the Med of freedom or something.
Yeah, yeah. Which was?
Sweet, but it kind of reminds. Me of like, I think I might have
said this on the podcast before too, when Lizzo was getting bad
press for her lawsuit again from her dancers a couple years ago.
And I feel like people, there were such an uproar about that,
partially because people expected so much of Lizzo
because she was a role model for people for body positivity.
But at the same time, it's like when people like switched up on
her so fast, I was suspicious of them because it's like kind of
seems like you've been waiting to hate Lizzo and you're excited
for this. And is it because she's
overweight? You're like, excited to suddenly
like have an excuse to hate her. And I feel like maybe the
family, like, are people like she is gay and people are like,
I mean, obviously I know a lot of people in the LGBT community
probably like, this is not who we want to represent us.
Listen, I can see it also being from like, okay, we are tired of
the fact that we've only really had a couple role models so far.
But I feel like a lot of other people probably, you know, it
was some of their old homophobia and misogyny coming back to
yeah, me. I hate her.
She has said that she quote. Got kicked out of show business
for being mean. But she also has said that she
didn't feel like the show was challenging herself anymore.
So I mean, that might be kind of an excuse, but she says that
that's like kind of the reason she ended the show.
She did say after the show ended that after her existing
contractual obligations ended, that she would be leaving show
business for good. And so as a result, her final
stand up special called 4 Year Approval for Netflix came out in
2024 and then she officially retired from show business.
I watched that. Yeah.
I just watched it. I was laughing.
Yeah. I thought in the.
Beginning, she seemed a little. Bit sad, yeah, it was making me
sad, like especially. Compared to her old stuff, I was
like, oh, she seemed sad. But then she definitely got into
a groove and I liked this part where she said had I ended my
show saying go fuck yourselves, people would have been
pleasantly surprised to find out.
I'm kind, yeah. Felt like the expectation she
set up for herself. That would be funny if she did
do. That she shouldn't.
Yeah, all. Right.
You know, she couldn't have. It was, I know.
But I feel like that's. Such a network team.
I think that's also such a. New England, Boston type thing
where it's like go fuck yourself, you know, it's just I
think I accidentally said it would kind of an accent.
She didn't. Yeah, that.
Way. Yeah.
So we're like, oh. Ellen, thank you.
Like, I don't know, it's kind of endearing.
What it would be cool if Ellen came back.
With like a. More edgy, you know.
Approach Like what if she was mean this time?
She made me have to wait a little bit.
Maybe it'd be too soon. OK.
She is 66 though, so like, yeah, I don't.
Know she was gonna be like, maybe she should just be
retired. Betty White age just coming out
being. Like fuck you, fuck you and
like. I don't know, doesn't have to be
like that, but she could be more like Howard Stern or something,
just like. Not really giving a fuck, you
know, I don't know. But she could just enjoy her
retirement because also Ellen and Portia, they have recently
moved to the Cotswolds in England, like in the
countryside, and they just seem kind of done with.
Hollywood. And fame and all of.
That and I think it's kind of cool.
I would be remiss if I didn't. Bring up I have.
Heard a lot of people say. That they fled the country
because of Diddy P Diddy and an association with him.
I guess. Like they did go to Diddy
parties or maybe Ellen did. But why is this coming up?
I know. Two episodes in.
A row but I feel like. I've heard Ellen say a lot of
stuff about how like her and Portia would always like leave
parties early. Like they definitely didn't seem
like people that probably were in the actual shit that was
going down. I feel like they probably were
like the celebrities that are like at the beginning of the
party and then like head home at 9 PMI mean, I when did they
move? I feel like it was like quite.
Before this, but all I saw about Ellen and Puff Daddy was that
she, I think like years ago, had we, I, I really, I know him as
Puff Daddy. Honestly, it's kind of, it's
weird to call him Daddy. How weird to call him Puff
Daddy? I don't know.
She had. Tweeted something and like oh.
Puff Daddy AKA Diddy AKA Sean AKA And then I'm paraphrasing, I
don't quite remember what it was, but then she said or like
cuddle snuffle of a guest or something as I call him.
And so people were like taking that is like, oh, Ellen like
knew something like whatever. But I don't know.
I feel like that could have just been her being weird and like
making fun of all of his names. Like, I don't know, that's all I
really saw. I don't know, like when it comes
to celebrities, I think a lot of.
Them are close, but it's almost like a Co worker in the land of
Hollywood. You these are people that you
know and you're acquainted with and you might like put on a
public perception of being friendly with them because it's
almost like you're all like characters on this big TV show
that is Hollywood. But I don't think you actually
know that many people that deeply.
Yeah, it seems kind of like high school to me.
And if someone is like hosting the prom after party and
everybody's there, I don't know if that means you're like
friends with them. I don't know exactly.
Maybe I'm making too many excuses, but.
I just don't really. See it?
But maybe they'll release the list and we'll be wrong but.
Well, I hope not. I also hope this stop is coming
up. I know, stop doing modern
couples I guess and I get hot. Yeah.
Yeah, once again, Marie Antoinette.
She's good. She's not.
I mean. She had scandal herself.
Of course she's not hanging out with Diddy.
I guess she was cancelled in a way, but.
In a huge way, yeah. Yeah, cancellation led to her
death. Well, I I interpreted.
Them moving to England as. They both.
Are retired now and they're both kind of like if this let's leave
and it seems like they have friends in England.
I saw like a picture of them at like a pub with some people like
I don't know. So seems like they're having a
good time and I would do the same thing too.
And they I want to move to England recently celebrate their
what, 20th wedding anniversary or?
Something like that. They've been together 21 years,
OK. And it seems like they're going
well. Yeah, Portia.
Just recently this. January posted a video montage
of Ellen working out and captioned it.
My darling wife, you continue to amaze me and inspire me.
Happy birthday to the strongest, sweetest, most brilliant person
I know. I'm so lucky to be sitting next
to you as we share this incredible life together.
I love you, the heart and. Yeah, I think they seem very.
Connected very attached to the. Hip and they're still together.
And that's what I have to say about Ellen and Porsche.
Wasn't there something Dad saw in People magazine where Ellen
came back? From London?
Or was it that Ellen went to London?
I think they did come back briefly.
For a visit. Yeah.
And Ellen has Gray hair now. Like, really?
Pepper to look this up? Yeah.
She stopped dying, her hair blonde.
Oh, I didn't realize. I know.
I was like, Dad, how do you? Dad, how do you know?
That what the hell I know Dad's been.
He was reading the Taylor. Swift People magazine that we
had for a while this this morning.
He's been reading because Mel, your mom gives us like a million
people magazines. I know my parents read all of
them all at once. So then.
They just have all. This pop culture information
like suddenly like a backlog of information that's so funny I.
Know my mom has just my mom saves like every.
Single. Magazine because she's like.
Oh, Karen, Karen wants this and I don't know if your mom really
does, but I don't think she does.
But they read them, so I guess they do I.
Appreciate it. I like I like reading the People
magazines. When we're home, I was doing all
of the cross crosswords. Yeah, that's.
Funny. Yeah, we.
Did we did like all of them. It's fun.
Yeah, that is kind of fun to read them all at once, I would
think. Yeah, I feel like because of
this. Podcast and not even that, I
just. Feel like I am tapped into
celebrity culture and like what goes on.
I actually do read people, people.com like once a day.
Like I just like skim the articles and see what's
happening with these famous people.
And I sometimes feel a little embarrassed by how much I know
about celebrity and when like when a celebrity like actually
comes up in conversation. And like someone.
Has like a little piece of information wrong.
I just like can't help myself to like correct them and then like
start like going like into the lore.
Of something. Like way.
Too in depth and people are like oh that's interesting.
I think this has happened to me too recently, but I can't think
of any specific. Examples, but this has
definitely happened. I wish when a celebrity comes
up, I actually knew less. Like it almost is.
I feel like Dakota Johnson in that one.
Clip I'm like, actually, that's. Not the truth.
Yeah, literally that's me. But if I know.
Something is wrong. What do I I I'm just.
Gonna let you spread false. Information.
No. Yeah, I think you should speak
up. It's.
Fine. Well, that's it.
Wow. Well, it's so sweet.
They're still together. Through all that it is.
Chances they're going to get a divorce.
Usually we do odds they stay together I.
Know odds, stay together. I don't want to jinx.
Them, but I think they're pretty solid.
I I would say 50. 5050 Well, I know it's so.
Tough, you know. It's hot.
It's. Tough I was going.
To say 8020 I. Guess.
Yeah. 80 in their favor, I'll say 60.
Percent chances. To get together.
Yeah, you guys do not have much. Faith Girl.
If they were regular people, I would say much higher.
But I know. But these are celebrities.
I know. But I think because they've been
together 20 years and I think also it helps that they're in
the same sex couple. I think those do better or have
better chance. So that's why I'm giving them
more, more of a chance. But who knows?
That's good. You're very optimistic and I
love that about you. It's.
Purely because they're famous. Like I I wouldn't say this if
they weren't, but it's just you can't really bet on.
Yeah, Yeah. Well, thanks.
Thanks for listening. Thank you, Kelly.
Do you want to tease us for next week?
Next next week's couple, which will be on Patreon.
Is another. Same sex couple, and they have,
coincidentally, I didn't really mean to do this, but they've had
a lot of controversy as well. And this couple's a little
different. They're in the fashion world,
I'll say that. So I'll be next week.
I'm excited. Yeah.
Thanks. And we'll see you then.
Yep. We'll get back together next
week. Bye.
Here's your heartbeat. With pain, shall I come back
again?