Are you alone? Come tonight.
Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry?
Hi everybody. Welcome back to significant
lovers. We are two cousins.
My name is Mel. And I'm Kel.
And this is a true love podcast. Yes, Happy Whirlwind Wednesday.
Happy Wedlock Wednesday. I don't know what other W word
we can use, but happy to have you here, Mel.
We have a very exciting couple and a second chapter of a story
that you've already started today.
Am I correct in saying that? Yes.
So some might call this Benefer 2 point O.
This is not part two of our Benefer episode, which is Ben
Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. But it's a little confusing
because after dating Jennifer Lopez, he went on to date and
then marry another Jennifer, which I guess that is one
question I should have asked the audience.
Are there any names that are like, off the table because it's
your ex's name or it could be your brother's name or your
dad's name? That must be confusing, 'cause
this is pretty soon after dating Jennifer Lopez, To then date
someone with the exact same name.
It's crazy. I mean, it is a popular name
though, but for that generation. But it is so weird.
It's with another Jennifer. It's so weird, 'cause when I say
Ben and Jen and Ryan, I could be talking about either a couple.
So in this episode, for the most part, if I say Ben and Jen, I'm
talking about Jennifer Gardner. Yes, maybe we'll refer to the
other as Jlo. Yes, is.
It easier. Is any name off the table
though? I don't know.
I might say no. I mean, well I'm I'm taken, so
it's not like, but it would be weird to date someone with my
dad's name, but we we would have to figure out a nickname type of
thing. But sure we could get around it.
What about you? I feel like I feel like this has
come up for you before. It has come up with both my
brothers names brief like like soup like one or two dates,
maybe three or four dates with people who had both my brothers
names but I think it was weird. So I think honestly that like
influenced me dating them but also I've dated one person comes
to mind that has not a unique name but like I haven't really
met anyone else with that name so if I was to date someone else
with that particular name I think that would be like odd.
It would be like kind of embarrassing.
So I would probably automatically not swipe if I if
I. Yeah, I'd rather be really
interested in somebody, I think So I wouldn't say, I mean it's
not a possibility for me, but in in the past maybe would have, I
would have tried to keep open mind, but yeah, it is weird.
But on the on the flip side, imagine you're engaged to
somebody and then a year later he's marrying someone with the
exact same name as you. That would be a little.
Odd, maybe. A little flattering.
Yeah. Upsetting.
Flattering. Yeah.
Heart wrenching. Crazy.
I don't. Know emotions.
When I was younger, oh, sorry. I was gonna say when I was like
in high school, I had, it wasn't even that big of a deal.
I mean, you know, in high school you think things are such a big
deal. I basically liked or had some
kind of. I don't even remember I had some
kind of thing with a bunch of guys named Joe.
Some of them were just crushes. But.
Yeah. It was weird.
That's way too common of a name. It is, yeah.
But so is Jennifer. That's true those J names.
Yeah, those J names. John James.
Jessica. People love J names Jacob
Jingle. His name is my name, too.
OK, but. OK, OK.
OK. OK, so.
I would say this couple though, it's so different from Ben and
Jlo. And I'm not going to get into
Ben's back story because we already covered him.
And I highly encourage if you want a prequel to listen to that
episode, it's a few episodes back.
It's also a free episode and we will continue the Ben and Jlo
story in the future and that will also be a free episode.
But I think it might be easier to cover their relationships
before that for the full picture.
But so I would describe this couple as being domestic
supportive and for my third word, I was torn between 2:00.
So I'll give you 2 either Co parents or painful.
Oh, that's cheating though I know 4 words.
OK, but I think domestic and Co parents is like they kind of are
the same vibes. So I'll say painful.
But Jennifer Ann Garner, who is she?
She was born in Houston, TX. Her family moved to Charleston,
WV when she was three years old and her father was a chemical
engineer and her mom was a stay at home mom and then later
became a school teacher. And Jen was the middle child
between 2 girls and had has said that her upbringing was pretty
strict and that her sisters weren't even allowed to wear
makeup or paint their nails or Pierce the ears or dye their
hair when they're growing up. Wow.
Which I don't know. For some reason I feel like I
can see that in her like she seems like definitely so
wholesome. She does.
Seems like maybe that was her upbringing.
I'm so. Sorry, I was going to.
Say, I'm just so intrigued to learn about this because I have
always been a little shocked that they got together, because
she does seem so wholesome and natural and sweet and so
different from Jlo in that way. Who is like Miss Glam and Ben
Affleck seems like such a bad boy.
So just what? How did this happen?
It's crazy. But anyway, I know.
So after high school, she originally went to Denison
University in Ohio to actually study chemistry, so she's like
brains. But then she changed her major
to theatre and after she graduated she moved to New York
City and she earned $150.00 an hour as an understudy for a play
called A Month in the Country for a non Profit Theatre
Company. And while she was working there
she also was a Hostess as at a Upper West Side restaurant, so
she was really hustling like she didn't have any handouts.
Then she had small appearances in TV movies and short films and
legal dramas and a guest starred in Law and Order.
And then, at 15, she moved to LA and landed her first leading
role in ATV. For at 15.
Oh, I'm sorry 25. At 25, she landed her first
leading role in ATV film called Rose Hill and then she made her
film debut in a period drama called Washington Square.
And then she booked more movies and appearances.
She had a short lived reoccurring role in ATV show
called Felicity and on that set. She wanted to watch.
That show? Oh really?
I actually hadn't heard of it. It was.
I think it was very big at the time.
I think it stars Keri Russell. Yeah, I've just read about how
it was such a big. It's about a college girl and I
think there's like a love triangle.
I've never even watched it, but I've just read that a big moment
in the show is when she cut her hair short.
So I was going to want to watch it, but I never got around to it
anyway. I love like stuff from that time
period. Yeah, me too.
It's. Comforting.
Someday. But yeah, Jen, she appeared on
that show and on that set she met and started dating one of
the stars the show named Scott Foley, and they dated for two
years. Yeah, he's kind of famous.
They did it for two years and then got married in a small home
ceremony in 2000 when Jen was 28 years old.
And at that point, Jen had a small role in the film Pearl
Harbor starring Ben Affleck. But nothing happened between
them yet because she's newly married and at this point he is
engaged to Jlo, I think. I had no idea.
She got married. What?
Yeah. She's a married woman.
So. Then in 2001, she had her big
break when she landed the lead role of Sidney Bristow on the
action thriller TV show Alias. Like, that's like what Jen
Jennifer Garner was known for. And she won her a Golden Globe
that year, and she also was nominated for four Emmys.
So she's like becoming a household name at this point.
Obviously, I kind of know her from like 13, going out 30.
That's where she. My mom loved Alias.
I remember her watching. Oh really?
Did she? She would watch Alias and lost,
so I would be like in the room and see her watching it.
But. Well, that's the thing.
It's like Jen seems so wholesome but isn't alias.
Like, she's like, hot on that show, yeah.
She's. She's, yeah.
She wears wigs. She's like, sexy.
Yeah, I could see that. Like her being a sex symbol for
a lot of guys. And then in 2003, two years into
the show, Jen fraud for divorce from her husband Scott and began
dating her alias, Co star Michael Varton.
But I think they just had like a pretty casual relationship.
And then that same year, Jen and Ben reunited when they both
starred in the film Daredevil together.
So this is their second time working together.
Up until then, they're like just friendly.
They know each other but reunited and they become very
close on set, but they're both in relationships.
However, years later in 2013, Ben would say an interview that
on this set they fell in love. Which is like OK, I don't want
to hear if you're Jlo. So he's with J.
This is who he's with Jlo at the time.
He's with Jlo at this time. He.
Fell in love. And in 2013, he said.
We met on Pearl Harbor, but we fell in love on Daredevil.
Like you are engaged. I love when people show me stuff
like this. Wow.
But So what about the? The long letter he just read to
Jlo proposing. I know he's always changing his
tune though, and that will come up later.
He contains multitudes. He does.
OK.
Say it so then it's 2004, and we know that Bennifer has
officially announced their breakup in January of that year,
and at some point Jen and Michael Vardon must have broken
up. But again, I don't think it was
super serious. So years later, Jen would tell
Parade magazine that Ben, who at the time was just a friend,
courted her by sending her persuasive romantic emails.
And at some point they started dating, but they kept it super
quiet. I think in light of Ben having a
very public relationship relationship and break up with
Jlo, no one even really knew that they were together until
their first public appearance when they were spotted and
photographed hugging and kissing at games one and two of the Red
Sox World Series in Boston the 2000.
Four World. Oh, no way.
That's so cool, So exciting. I wish I was there.
That's really and like throughout their relationship.
I didn't include the other instances, but they often would
be like going to the World Series whenever the Red Sox were
there or they were fever. Pitch.
What a time I'll have to. Post a carousel of different Red
Sox. Pictures We're from Boston.
So did I feel like 13 O 130 came out around that time too, right.
Yep, 'cause it just brings me back.
That just so brings me back to that time, like 13 O 130 fever
pitch. I love it.
I know. It's like it's to me that's like
the peak romantic comedy, the mid 2000s but 2005.
They are photographed here and there, but the relationship is a
lot more low key than the original benefit was.
But it's moving really quickly. In April 2005, they've only been
together in nine months. Sources tell People magazine
that Ben has proposed on Jen's 33rd birthday in LA, Guys.
He was like just breaking off an engagement the year prior, and
now he's engaged. To Oh my gosh, it's clearly.
He's already it's clearly him. But Jlo was also already
remarried at this point. She's.
They have that in common, I guess.
I mean, I don't know Jennifer Garner, but like, I just feel
like she seems someone that would be a little more hesitant
or? Yeah, I'm not sure.
If she likes romance and such, but I I don't know why I feel
like that's him. That thing is, she was pregnant,
so it's confirmed the couple is expecting a baby do around.
Oh my God. So that could.
Be a part of it. You know, like she's a couple
months pregnant, so they've really got pregnant very quickly
into their relationship, probably like 6 months in,
that's. Oh my gosh.
A huge you don't even really. You obviously know each other,
but you haven't been able to spend that much time together,
just the two of you. You haven't like probably taken
that many trips together, or you haven't spent even every holiday
together yet, so like, already be expecting a baby is pretty
serious. So then they officially got
married that June in Turks and Caicos, and the ceremony was
super low key. Jen's own parents weren't even
there. What?
Which is crazy because her first wedding was also very low key,
so maybe she just like doesn't care about that.
But she didn't even wear makeup and her hair was just in a
ponytail and he just wore AT shirt like it was like, no big
deal. It was super private, Kevin
Smith, Ben's good friend, told People magazine.
That they're in for one another, not any.
They're in it for one another, not anyone else.
They didn't need or want a crowd.
They just wanted each other. Which again, feels a little bit
like the antithesis of the original Benefer.
Because let's be honest, like they kind of it seems like they
liked the publicity. Yes, it is really they.
Played into. It, yeah.
I think it like it got too much for them, but they were a part
of the media circus and they will be later on in their lives
too. But we're not there yet.
So they're married. They're pregnant.
It's wow. Leading up to the birth of their
daughter, A source tells PEOPLE that Jen has given Ben an
ultimatum to quit smoking, but that he seems to be struggling
with it. And this is the beginning of
what I think is a bit of a tension between her wanting Ben
to be more responsible and him having a hard time growing up.
What's the ultimatum? Either you quit smoking or we're
over. I'm not sure about that.
I don't know. It seems hard like, why'd you
get involved with a smoker in the first place?
I know, yeah. I feel like if that's a deal
breaker for you, it should be a deal breaker.
Like upfront. Yeah, 'cause it's kind of hard
to ask someone to change that. I mean, yeah, obviously it's
healthy not to smoke, but I think in general to say like
either you do this or we're over and that's something that
they've like always done and been like when you've known
them, I think that's. Hard, I know.
I agree. I mean, again, it all happened
so quickly. That way I'm sure if you're like
expecting a baby and you're pregnant.
She must have been. Stressed.
They can do, yeah. Like the least he can do is
probably give up smoking if you're like, about to give
birth. But yeah, I think he did.
But I don't think it lasted. Because we've all seen that
picture of him standing outside looking so stressed, smoking.
Just. Looking done with whatever is
going. On.
If you guys know what I'm talking about.
Definitely did not last, but he tried.
So then that December they welcomed their first child,
their daughter Violet. She was born December 1st, 2005.
Yeah, then it's 2006. They're occasionally
photographed by paparazzi, with the baby looking very happy, and
there are reports that they plan to raise Violet in Boston to be
outside of the spotlight. But again, I don't think that
sticks either. I think they raise their family
in LA. Jen is interviewed in Marie
Claire and she's asked how her and Ben have made it work, and
she says I don't know what makes it work, but it does.
One thing that makes it work not work.
What? One thing that makes it not not
work is that we're both pretty nice.
He's not someone who's ever going to blow up on anyone.
What I mean is he's ever. He's never angry with me.
He doesn't act out in a weird way or yell at me, and I'm the
same. So we can handle conflict in a
very loving and adult way. Ben's very interested in finding
out what makes people tick when he's listening to someone, and
that can be someone he meets in the street, His brother, anyone
whom he's standing next to in line.
If he clicks into them, he can stand in one spot for hours.
It's amazing. Well, that's nice.
The article goes on to talk about actually how Ben was like
trying to quit smoking and how it seems like he's living a very
different life from how people imagined him to be a year ago
with all the casinos and the impulsive buying of Rolexes,
smoking and the partying and strip clubs.
And Jen says 3 weeks before we had Violet he went to a
hypnotist and has not smoked since.
I admire him because it was so painful, but he is sick so much
less often and I don't lose him every 15 minutes while he
wanders around outside. He smells great.
It's a huge gift that he gave me and our daughter as well.
I probably annoy him. I celebrate it so much, so seems
like he's not smoking there every 15 minutes is a lot.
Gee, that is a lot. That's cool, though, that
hypnotism worked. Yeah, I guess so.
Maybe Also, he's so distracted having a newborn.
I'm not sure, but that was actually a problem.
My one of my good friends, she was dating someone and she was
at the time working like in a lung Cancer Research facility.
So she was like seeing people who were dying all the time and
she was dating someone who was smoking and that ended up being
not the biggest deal breaker, but one of the things that she
was like, I can't see him anymore because of them.
I see. Very Aiden.
Aiden, very Aiden. Carrie.
Aiden and Carrie, yeah. Sex in the City Love it.
Oh my God, it's so good, So good.
So then it's July 2008, and it's reported that it's reported that
Jenna's five months pregnant with their second child and
they're seen house hunting in Brentwood, CA.
So in November, a pregnant Jennifer Garner received a
restraining order against a crazed fan named Stephen Berkey,
who had allegedly been stalking her since 2002.
And at that time, he actually showed up at the couple's house
dressed in religious garments, and he told their nanny that he
had visions from God that Jennifer was in danger and that
he was forced to participate in a terrorist plot to persecute
her. And at this point, Jenna's very
nervously. She's pregnant and she's fearing
for her safety and for Ben's safety and their baby's safety,
so they get a restraining order. That's good.
Oh, that's so scary. But it's crazy this couple
actually was photographed by paparazzi so much because Jenna
later says there's like always 15 paparazzi outside their house
and I feel like that's an after effect of his relationship with
Jlo. I don't think that they're,
like, calling paparazzi on themselves.
They just, like, are one of those rare cases where they're
victims to it. Yeah, I feel like.
I kind of remembered that, like, seeing a lot of them in
magazines back in the day. A lot.
But yeah, I agree. I feel like because him and Jlo
were so publicized and then the fact that like, Oh my gosh, now
he's with Jennifer Garner, you know, and it it seems like such
an opposite relationship in a way.
I feel like that was very interesting to people and they
were huge. I mean, people were super
invested in them, maybe because of the, like, seemingly good
girl, bad boy thing. Like, is this going to work?
Like what's going on with them, you know?
But also later Jen said that she lived in a neighborhood with a
ton of other actors, like why not just live somewhere else?
The like the reason this paparazzi was there was because
they knew where everybody lived and they knew they could get
like a listers left and right in this neighborhood.
So I kind of think it was also related to not being more
private area. And why do that?
It's just like Brentwood is so amazing.
They just can't not be there. I don't know.
Then they gave birth to their second daughter on January 6th,
2009. Their daughter Sarahfina Rose
Elizabeth Affleck. Then the two purchased an 8800
square foot home in the LA neighborhood of Pacific
Palisades for $17.5 million. Wow.
OK, so then it's December, and Jen's stalker was arrested for
violating his restraining order after he showed up outside their
daughter's school. Their daughter's Violet's
nursery school. And he was.
That's so. Creepy.
Yeah. He was threatening to cut the
baby out of Jen's belly and murder their unborn child.
OK. Yeah.
So this like obviously greatly affected the couple.
And I think they're super private, which is kind of crazy
because I feel like Jennifer Lopez is not.
So I don't want to pit these women against each other.
I I feel bad like Jlo is public with her kids.
She has her daughter Emmy on stage with her when she's
performing at the Super Bowl. But the Affleck family is like
very, very private with their kids and protective of them,
which is an interesting difference.
That definitely is the downside of fame.
I feel like so many people experience a creepy stalker.
Yeah, just just. Happens.
I mean, honestly, they must have to have 24/7 security all the
time. That's truly scary.
Oh, it's horrifying. Sorry.
Keep in trouble. Really.
Oh no. I think it really affected them.
Three months after that happened, a judge ruled that the
stalker was insane and had he was sent to a mental hospital
rather than prison, and he was ordered to stay away from the
Affleck family for 10 years if and when he was released.
Which is like why not just for life I?
Know why? 10 years It's going to happen.
In 10 years they're going to get lunch together.
Like, why would they ever want to see him again?
Seriously. And I don't know what happened,
if he was ever released, but he doesn't come up again, that's
good. Which is good, I guess.
But later Ben actually said that this incident prompted him to
become very protective of his family, obviously, and that he
owns several guns because of it. Whoa.
Yeah. We can't imagine.
OK, now it's 2010. Around this time I do have to
say what there were like weird reports that maybe something was
happening between Ben and his Co star from the town, Blake
Lively. But I feel like I've heard that
before. Yeah, I just couldn't find
anything that could be tangible. But my name kept coming up and I
don't know, I just I thought it should include it possibly.
It does seem like he might have a wandering eye, so that in
2012, skipping ahead, their son Samuel was born in February and
then an October band was on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter.
And about Jen, he said she truly is kind.
She means no one any harm. She doesn't have ill will for
any person. She's not competitive with other
people. She's not spiteful.
It's one of those things where it becomes almost aggravating at
times. Every time I go fuck him, I see
in her face that she thinks that's petty and small, which I
have to say, like, I think not to assume, but I almost think
that a big conflict in their relationship is that she is such
a good person. She's so mature and he just
can't measure up. Yeah, she is too good for him.
She does seem like such a good person.
I get what he's saying. Sometimes I can be frustrating
and sometimes I feel like I do that on the other side too.
Like, I don't know. But sometimes you do want to
complain about somebody and then someone else is like, Oh well,
you know. Nice.
Yeah. I understand it can't be
frustrating, but I think the reason it's frustrating is
because you kind of know the person's right and you're like,
you know, you're just grumpy about it.
That is nice, to hear him say, because I've always felt like
she seemed very sweet. But like I wasn't sure if that
was true. You know, I never really dug too
deep, but I. Feel like I've seen other things
with people saying she's she's not as sweet as you think she
is. Like I'm I believe she's sweet.
I bet if people have had negative interactions with her,
maybe they were being rude or? Yeah, I mean, she is human.
Yeah. Can't expect her to be, like,
completely sweet all the time. I know. 100 out of 100 things
that she experiences in a day, she is always an Angel.
Like, probably not, but. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, and one of the profiles I was reading of her, the
interviewer said that she was like, unexpectedly curt, like
when he approached her because she didn't know that he was the
interviewer. But like it in the interview, it
seemed like he was soliciting her for something like, yeah,
I'm not super friendly when people approach me on the street
because sometimes if you're friendly, people take advantage
of it. So you have to be like.
And she is famous. She has to have somewhat of a
guard up, especially given that she had a stalker.
I don't know if it's happened after the.
Stalker, but exactly you have to honestly as a self-defense.
You have to be rude sometimes to people to strangers if if people
are are like making you feel uncomfortable or strangers for
your safety sometimes. Well, there's a difference
between being curt and being rude, I.
Think exactly, Yeah, yeah, it's not friendly, like, yeah, not
engaging with people sometimes if they're trying to stop you
and talk to you. So in the same interview, he
said that he does casually keep in touch with his exes and they
congratulate each other over e-mail about career endeavours.
Or it's. E-mail.
Updates with each other. I love hearing about people
emailing. I know, I know.
I mean e-mail was like, that's how he wooed Jennifer Garner in
the 1st place. So then it's 2013 and Benna's
doing the award show rounds for his film Argo, which he directed
and for all these different awards.
And Jenna's very supportive of him throughout the campaign.
And when he won the Golden Globe for directing, he kissed her.
And then in his speech, he said, I just want to thank my three
kids, Violet, Sam and Sarah. I love you guys.
And I want to thank my wife, who's the reason I'm standing
here. I adore you.
I love you so much. Thanks for sitting through this.
You're my everything. What?
Happened. I know you'll find out.
So then Ben won the Best Picture Academy Award for directing for
Argo, and he thanked Jen in his acceptance speech.
And this was kind of controversial, actually.
And that's the first clip. Why?
I guess I'll see. Here I go.
In the movie on the movie worked on the movie.
Did anything with this movie gets thanked?
I want to thank Canada. I want to thank our, our, our,
our friends in in Iran living in a in a in a terrible
circumstances right now. I want to thank my wife, who I
don't normally associate with Iran, but I want to thank you
for working on our marriage for, you know, 10 Christmases.
It's it's it's good. It is work, but it's the best
kind of work. And there's no one I'd rather
work with. So Violet, Sam, and Sarah, I
love you. Oh my gosh.
Oh my. He's so emotional, So much
emotion going on. Him choking up over his his
daughter or his daughters and son is so sweet.
OK, I'm. I know that I I don't know if I
can talk. I mean, if I won an Oscar, I
probably would lose it, but I know people get really nervous.
But he seemed like so spastic up there.
Oh my goodness. Very overwhelmed.
I mean, maybe it's 'cause like he's winning for director.
That's a. Huge didn't work, but maybe.
But so people took issue with him that what he said about
Jennifer Garner wasn't super romantic.
Like saying it's a lot of work. Yeah.
People thought that was like kind of negative.
What do you think about? That, Yeah, it did seem
negative. Yeah, it wasn't romantic.
I guess he had already. What award was it that before
that he won? The Golden Globes?
That was pretty romantic, yeah. Maybe he had already kind of
used. He didn't want to repeat
himself. I don't know.
He'd already used his romance up.
I mean, whatever. More people watch the Oscars, I
think, than the Golden Globes. Anyways, who cares?
But yeah, that was weird. It was a weird choice.
It did seem like he was making it up on the spot, yeah.
It maybe. He really is just like such a he
thinks he is kind of a piece of shit or like he is low, thinking
lowly of himself and that she does seem to keep putting up
with it and I'm really reading and do it here.
But maybe that's what's coming to mind as he's up there.
I don't know that, like, thank you for working on it with me.
I don't, I don't know. But yeah, that is that.
Is upsetting. You might never be up on that
stage again. And I know.
This is your one opportunity to say something to someone who's
raising your children while you're directing a film.
You could say something a little bit more.
It's where it is. Work.
I'm gonna work with you, not You could just say, like my wife, I
love you and then move on. You don't even have to.
Yeah, exactly. Elaborate on it.
Yeah. And so it made people sense that
there was maybe tension in their relationship.
And so that's, yeah, definitely the next clip I have for you.
When Ben was on SNL, they actually addressed this in his
monologue. OK.
And I can tell you that while winning an Oscar was a huge
thrill, giving an Oscar acceptance speech is completely
terrifying. And you may remember that in my
speech, I thank my wife while also saying that the essence of
marriage is work. And we've worked together on our
marriage. And then some uncharitable souls
on the Internet took that to mean that, you know, some our
marriage is some kind of manual labor.
That's not. No, that's not it.
You know you define what's important to you by what you
dedicate your time to. And my wife knew exactly what I
meant. And so to disprove, disprove the
naysayers, I asked her to come in here tonight.
Jen. So now would you just Are you
alright? Would you just now dispel this
notion and tell the people what I meant by marriage's?
Work. Yes, I will.
Well, yeah, it's it's a way that we talk privately about how
committed we are to our marriage.
Yes, right. See that?
Not sure why you had to share it live to a billion people, but I
mean. But I mean our our, our marriage
is the work of love. What would you have called it in
a speech? A gift.
I would have said thank you to my wife.
Our marriage is a gift. You know, that's one way to go.
I guess I because you know, it's it's a gift to to the work of
marriage, which you gifted me with enormous work, to be
completely honest. Well, if we're going to be
completely honest here, why don't we just go ahead and
mention who does all of the work?
That's too inside that. People don't want to hear that.
You see. I'll tell you what, though.
I want to tell you how I wish I had ended that speech, OK.
I couldn't do any of the things I do without your support.
You're my Angel, my life and my world.
You're reading that? I mean, yeah, but you know it's
true. I love you.
Thank you, you're a lot of work. He's cute.
Yeah. He's reading it.
He did seem nervous. I feel like he's not a stage
performer. No, I feel like he's not.
Yeah. I feel like he's very nervous on
stage. I mean, he's he's some very,
like, troubled person. Like, I think he does have very
bad anxiety. But I kind of feel bad for
Jennifer Garner. Like, we haven't gotten to this
point yet. But I feel like she just, like,
knows her worth and knows how she's supposed to be treated and
like how a husband should be. And Ben is just a little
immature. Yeah, the idea of like, oh, it's
work. And like I have to live up to
her expectations. It kind of paints her to seem
like she's high maintenance or NIT picky, but like she just is
asking for what she deserves in the relationship.
I agree. I yeah, I don't know.
I doubt she is that NIT picky or anything.
Oh, that is a different situation, Yeah.
I do think they are work for sure.
Yes. Yeah.
I mean, we don't know what exactly, at least yet.
We don't know what exactly is going on.
And it does seem like they're joking.
You know, it's almost kind of like the gypsy rose, like leaves
a toilet seat up thing, like it seems all in good fun.
You do wonder, like what is what is happening?
Is there any truth behind this? Yeah.
I feel like it does make people sense tension and I feel like
we're like gas relationships are work.
But like some couples, for some couples, it doesn't seem as like
they're happy to do the work, you know?
Whereas right, him saying that is like sensing a little bit of
pulling teeth to get him to be doing whatever he should be
doing. It was a joke with her saying
who's the one that does the work?
I know, yeah. I don't know if it's going to
last. So then in August of that year
in 2013, Jen was on the cover of Allure magazine and she said
that she doesn't want to be known as just the wife of Ben
Affleck. And also in 2013, just side
note, Jen joined Halle Berry to campaign for strict anti
paparazzi laws. And I like to protect children
and I think they were like really successful with this and
kind of changed the game for a lot of celebrity parents.
And at that point, she said that there are 15 photographers
outside of her house all at all times and it seems like that was
just a huge stress on the whole family.
But I agree. I feel like since then it's
become bigger concern. I feel like I've seen
publications, you know, blur children's faces and such.
So yeah, that's that's. Important, but again, like even
that little thing like that. I know Ben's probably busy
directing and stuff, but first of all, Jen's an actress too.
She's doing the work to protect her children with these anti
paparazzi laws. Who knows why Ben's not joining
her again? Like, she's really holding
things down at home and protecting her children.
Women, women just get shit done. I know, I know.
So then, it's 2014. The Affleck family is scheduled
to spend most of the summer in Detroit while Ben films Batman,
and around this time, the tabloids begin reporting that
Ben maybe has been slipping back into old habits, including
gambling and drinking and maybe even cheating.
Very. Frustrated, Jen is tasked with
taking care of their kids and following him around while he
shoots his movies, so she's kind of put her career on hold for
him at this point to take care of their family.
Does feel that way? Meanwhile, Ben's former friend
Kevin Smith is asked whether they're still friends and he
said at Comic Con. Great question.
I don't know because we're not fucking tight.
I have not been close to him in decades.
That's old Ben. He's got a wife that don't care
for me at all. And plus, honestly, he probably
don't care for me at all anymore.
And then he also was asked about this at when he was like doing
an appearance at Carnegie Hall. And he said Jennifer does not
share the same sense of humor as me.
She did not like my jokes. I was picking on Ben Affleck,
making fun of him because I've known him for a really long
time. I was talking smack.
And Jennifer goes, you know, if you keep saying stuff about him,
I'm going to kick your ass. And she could.
I've seen Alias. She has a really girly sense of
humor and didn't understand that I was kidding.
I remember talking to Ben and being like, I know your lady is
not finding me amusing. Ben, I've known you for years
and you are far sicker than I am.
His jokes are way dirtier than mine.
He he made jokes to me and I've been like, Ben, you need to go
to church, which I I feel like it's like alluding to like, Jen
maybe being uptight and getting in the way of Ben's
relationships, or like being strict with him about his sense
of humor. I don't know what to think about
that, cause like I I mean, they do have like kids.
I could see at some point being like, you have to grow up, you
can't be like, making jokes like this.
But maybe Jen is a little too wholesome for him, if that's the
way he naturally is. And I don't know what's what's
wrong. I don't think you have to be the
same person. This might be controversial.
I don't think you have to be the same person in front of
everybody. Like, why does Kevin Smith have
to be acting that way when he's with his wife?
I feel like that's more of a bro whatever.
And he's kind of implying, like, Jen doesn't even know him, like
he tells the dirtiest jokes. Well, maybe he just doesn't do
it in front of her and that's OK.
Like he can maybe be raunchy with his friends and then he's a
dependable husband with his wife.
I don't know, I don't see anything wrong with.
That's I would think that's disrespectful to be raunchy in
front of your wife, like making like dirty sexual jokes about
people. If your lady is present, that's
like really rude. I just think that's amateur of
Kevin Smith to be expecting the same type of like antics as when
they were young, like now that he's a married father with kids.
Yeah, it seems like Ben was maybe trying to grow up in Kevin
Smith didn't want to, and so they grew apart.
Yeah, that's what's interesting is it seems like it is not just
Ben who maybe lost some friends in this relationship.
At around the same time. Mark Ruffalo went on Andy
Cohen's show Watch What Happens Live and he said that him and
Jen were very tight. He was saying that him and Jen
were very close while filming 13, going on 30, but then he
said then Ben Affleck came on the scene and that was the end
of that, and Andy asked if he thinks that Ben doesn't allow
Jen to have male friends and Mark just shrugged.
So that's interesting. That is interesting.
Then in September, Jan was on the cover of In Style and she
was asked about Ben's Oscar speech when he said the marriage
was work. And she said you can't expect to
be courted all the time and I don't want him to court me right
now. I don't have the energy, but
we're definitely in a very mindful place where we're making
an effort to be together and do things the same time and be
loving. And she also said when we had
our first child, we had only been together a year, we were
babies. It happened so fast.
I hardly remember what we were like before the kids got here.
Now we're just starting to go away for a night here and there,
which I do see that being a stress on the relationship.
Like they really haven't been together one-on-one that long
before they had kids. So it did happen very quickly.
But about the parenting responsibilities, she said when
we had our first child, we had only been together a year.
Oh wait, I already just read that, she said.
She said for better or worse, I tend to be the one who says this
is what needs to happen. I know who wants what lunch.
I've done all the school paperwork and filled out the
emergency cards. Ben doesn't know that stuff
exists. He is in charge of laughter.
No matter how much to tickle them or toss them or chase them
around, it's not the same if I'm the slow, steady drum beat.
He's the Jazz. Feel like that is often the
case. It is, it is.
But it is such an emotional burden that I feel like Jen
probably bears where I feel like if Ben gets mad about her
expecting more of him, like yeah, because she's doing all
the not fun stuff and he's like getting to come in and be the
fun jolly parent and the kids laugh and I.
Feel like that's so common, I know, but it is unfortunate.
So then it's 2015. And in May, just a month before
their 10th wedding anniversary, there are whispers that Ben and
Jen have separated and are headed for a divorce.
This is according to OK magazine and the National Enquirer.
We feel like we can't really always trust them, but it's
largely due to the fact that they haven't been photographed
together in over a month. And usually they're photographed
together like almost every day. And like off times, there's PDA
in the photographs too. Like they do seem really happy
together, so this is odd for the couple.
A source says that Jen's friends aren't big fans of Ben and that
Jen has been emotionally preparing for the end for a
while, seeing a therapist to learn how to cope with their
divorce and deal with the kids afterwards.
Man. Then I know, But you know what?
It's weird because it's like these tabloids.
We can't really trust them. But it actually was true and.
It's. Confirmed that they are
divorcing, which is like we can't trust tabloids.
They have to source their information somewhere.
I feel like sometimes they are kind of true.
Sometimes. So on their the day after their
10th wedding anniversary, they're in the Bahamas on a
family vacation and they released a joint statement,
which this is kind of like Brad. And Jennifer Aniston.
Jennifer Aniston I think it's a little different because like,
they're on a family vacation, they're with their kids, but
it's still weird. Yeah, so strange.
I don't know. I think I'd rather just like, be
home. I wouldn't want to have to be in
the hotel room with. Them, Yeah.
It's just odd to be publicly acknowledging we are breaking up
and you're literally physically together.
Exactly. It's weird on a vacation like
that over, so they say. After much thought and careful
consideration, we have made the decision to divorce.
We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a
commitment to Co parenting our children whose privacy we ask to
be respected during this difficult time.
This will be our only comment on the private family matter.
Thank you for understanding. So naturally, after the
separation, there's a lot of speculation about what was the
final straw, including a very popular theory that Ben had an
affair with their nanny, Christine Ozenian.
Heard of it? You've heard this?
Yeah, I've heard of it. Apparently, multiple sources
told People magazine that Christine, who is 28 years old
at this time, she was hired by the couple several months months
prior and she would watch their three kids.
And as soon as Jen went to film a movie, she started dressing
really provocatively and that her and Ben had an affair soon
after. And that she would show her
friends pictures of her and Ben together, including her sitting
on Ben's lap. We haven't seen the pictures,
but a source said that. Let's see.
OK, so Christine, actually, she had gone to join the couple on a
trip to the Bahamas. So this is the trip they went
off when they announced their separation.
And days after announcing their split, Ben left the family
vacation and he took a private trip to Las Vegas and Christine
went with him to a charity of charity poker event.
What the nanny, which I'm guessing it was, was unclear to
me, but I'm guessing the kids are still with Jen in the
Bahamas, so I don't know why the nanny has to go with him to the
poker event. I don't think the kids are going
to the poker event. I doubt.
It. I highly doubt it.
Sources said that there were other members of the family in
attendance on the the Jet plane that Christine was on, but I
don't think so, because who would that be?
I don't think it's the kids. There's no reason for her to be
there. And after the trip, Ben took a
private jet jet back to LA with Christine and actually Tom
Brady, and she posted a photo of her wearing Brady's Super Bowl
rings on the jet. So it's like 100% she was on the
jet. That does seem to me like
something's happening. Oh yeah, Why would he take his
nanny? There's no reason for that.
So then Christine stayed back in LA.
But weirdly, Ben returned to the Bahamas to be like, with Jen and
the kids again. And when he got there, Jen
seemingly found out that the nanny went with him to the poker
event. Like she thought she the nanny
was like, just going back to LA and so she fired her and could
yeah, wait, sorry. Yeah, so she fired the nanny.
And then in July of later that summer, the nanny was
photographed outside of Ben's rental house.
So, like, if she had confirmed the nanny, it's.
Yeah, something had to have happened, sources close to Jen
told people. There was always a speck of
doubt in Jen's mind about separating, but that's now gone.
She is very angry. To Jen, this is the ultimate
betrayal. The only reason why I have a
little bit of doubt in my mind is because sources close to Ben
vehemently and aggressively deny any affair between him and
Christine. They're like very much saying
that he didn't cheat with the nanny, but obviously they would
say that they're his friends. Like it's a very bad look for
him. It's actually like such a
heinous thing to do to cheat with your aunt.
Like Manny, such a cliche. It's like a soap opera.
Yeah, like someone taking care of your children who is hired by
you and your wife in your own house.
And she was already fired after when she was at the house.
I guess he could have kept employing her.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's true.
That actually that weirdly happened to me when I was a
nanny that the couple did get divorced, and then I was a nanny
for both of them separately, so that could.
They pay you separately. Yeah, I believe they did.
Yeah. Oh wow.
I know. But they.
I mean, the wife seemed fine with it.
Like, I don't. I think she liked this.
I mean there is no I I was not involved in a divorce.
But yeah, I can't remember now, but I think I was paid
separately. Yeah, that was so awkward for
you in between the parents. I know, I mean, he could have
maybe maybe he like reached out to her and was like I still need
your help or something. But I just, I still think like
why on earth would she go on the private jet with him to the
poker Like that just seems inappropriate to me.
It's really inappropriate, but apparently sources close to her
said like, what was she going to do?
Like he was her boss. Like she's invited to this
thing. It's like you don't have to go,
You can just say no. But so it's unfortunate because
sources close to Ben are kind of putting the blame on Jennifer,
claiming that she was always nitpicking everything that he
did and made him feel inadequate as a husband.
But she's probably nitpicking things that are like, dude, you
shouldn't be doing this. Like we have a family, you
shouldn't be cheating with the nanny.
That's kind of a low bar, but I also will say this nanny, it
seemed like she I hate to say this, but like she looked like
an influencer. And apparently after the affair
she was like trying to become a reality TV star.
So IA 100% believe that she probably was trying to become
famous for. Yeah.
Ben Affleck wasn't like just this, like.
Poor me, Like innocent girl, Like random girl.
No, but Okay, I will say not to blame Jennifer Gardner at all.
I don't blame her at all. But if your husband kind of
already has a wandering eye, why would you hire like?
I know nanny was like lip injection, like like a hot
nanny. I wouldn't hire like a Mrs.
Doubtfire nanny. Or who Who is the nanny on Sex
in the City that oh. Yeah.
Yeah, Max hire like a 50 year old woman.
Yeah, not a 20 Botox. So I I think like some honestly
gone to my head. Something happened after after
the separation and apart from cheating rumors, sources tell
people that the split was a long time coming because the two are
very different people and the problems got bigger in their
marriage after a few years. Man I know sources blamed the
demands of Bens career and his social life saying Ben is a good
dad when he is around but he has so many outside interests and
personal issues to get beyond. It had become a bigger problem
than either had imagined. But even after their breakup,
Jen and Ben are very friendly and they seem very amicable.
They're photographed a lot together.
They go on a trip to Florida together to celebrate their
son's birthday, and in September they're photographed smiling
together in LA and they're seems going to church together every
single Sunday with the kids. So they're really putting on a
friendly face for the sake of their family.
How does yourself do that? I know I could not I, that would
be so hard, a source tells Eve. She has not forgiven him for
things that have happened, but she's committed to keeping the
children happy. But sometimes that means doing
what she would rather not do. Well, that's mature.
It it really is. Because honestly, if someone
dogged you like that, it would be hard to even be in the same
room. It's actually reported that Ben
is staying in their guest house on the family property.
Wow. And they spend the holidays
together like they see each other every single day.
And according to sources, it's important that Ben is around the
kids for Jennifer and but that she's fed up and frustrated with
some of his choices, but that she also feels some relief
because she doesn't see him as her problem anymore.
Right. This kind of seemed like it was
a huge stress on her life. So yeah.
I don't. I don't know.
I I hope I'm not too biased or like just because it's a woman
or whatever. But I I do believe that he
probably was a lot to deal with and.
Yeah, like a fourth child. And I feel like it's just, it is
a relief. Like if you have a relationship
where you're always worried about the other person, like,
are we going to make it work? Do they still want to be with
me? Like, are they going to cheat on
me? I feel like it is a relief to be
like, you know what? It's not my problem anymore.
Like they can do whatever they want.
It's not my responsibility. Like, they can live their own
life. So at the same time, though they
are very intertwined, he is still kind of her responsibility
because they have together, which is unfortunate.
Yeah, well, it's not unfortunate that they have kids.
You know, but he probably still frustrates her.
Yeah, she still has to worry about him because she has to
worry. Like, is he being a good dad for
my kids? Yeah.
So it's 2016 now and it seems like Ben and Jen are very close,
even though they're not romantically together and
they're doing things together all the time.
Like I like I said, like he lives on the property, they're
living together, which would be hard.
But I I feel like a lot of couples do that.
Like, they have a transitional period where they're still like,
it's like they go to events together.
Like, they go to funerals, they go to weddings together.
But like, they're not a married couple.
Actually, they're still technically married, but they're
not romantic together. In February of 2016, Dan was on
the cover of Vanity Fair, and she said it was a real marriage.
It wasn't for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for
me to stay in it. And it did not work.
And she adds, I didn't marry the big fat movie star.
I married him. And I would go back and remake
that decision. I ran down the beach to him and
I would do it again. You can't have these three
babies and so much of what we had.
He's the love of my life. He's the most brilliant person
in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous.
He's just a complicated guy. I always say when the sun shines
on you, you feel it. But when the sun is shining
elsewhere, it's cold. He can cast quite a shadow.
That's sad, she said. He's the love of my life.
I know, I know. Now it's.
Over watch. It's really sad.
In the same interview, she actually defended him and
refuted rumors that the nanny got in the way of their
marriage, saying we had been separated for months before I
ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our
decision to divorce. She was not part of the equation
but judgement. Yeah, it's not great for your
kids, for a nanny to disappear from their lives.
OK, so it sounds like something did happen, but it and yeah,
totally. And it happened after they were
already separated, which I guess it already seemed like it, but
yeah. Even if they're separated, like
the nanny is off limits, like that's so low.
Sleep with someone else, like some random person from like a
club or some other celebrity. Like you don't have to sleep
with the woman taking care of your children in your home that
you both share together. He cannot control himself.
No, that's so low. That's like unforgivable.
So. That seems like a confirmation
though. Oh yeah, totally.
I believe it. So he was asked about Jen
opening up in the New York Times, and he said she felt that
she wanted to discuss it and get it out there and get it over
with so she could say, look, I already talked about it, I don't
want to do it again. It's fine.
She's allowed to talk about it. Jen's great.
She's a great person. We're on great terms, OK?
Meanwhile, sources are reporting to people that Ben, who has
seldom ever been single in his life, doing well and is trying
to win Jen back. But Jen isn't ready or willing.
But the family is spending the whole summer together in Europe
while Ben films the Justice League, and they're reportedly
having a great time, like traveling to different European
countries together and having a lot of fun.
I feel like it's probably kind of confusing that for the kids.
I mean, it's really mature, but they are a very nuclear family
unit at this point, even though they're not together.
If that's true, that he's trying to win her back, that's just so
confusing. Yeah.
So hard, I think. Yeah, he's literally with her
all the time. And like, even in August, the
family took a trip to Montana to celebrate his birthday, which I
feel like, wow, didn't have to go to that.
But after the trip, they're back in LA and Jen and Ben were
photographed by paparazzi, where it seems like they're having a
very serious conversation and Janet's actually wiping away
tears while Ben looks visibly upset with her.
Wow, they definitely deep connection, you know, despite
everything. Like they definitely really know
each other. Oh, yeah, you definitely would.
Yeah. Have three kids together.
You've been married. It is interesting.
I I feel like I did hear a lot of reports around that time
that, like, Ben is not ready to move on and a spoiler.
But it takes them a long time to officially divorce, and I do
wonder if it's because he's like struggling with mental health
and like addiction problems and it was just too painful for him.
Maybe. But it seems like this divorce
was like, I don't know, I don't think any divorce is easy, but I
feel like sometimes celebrities make it seem like it is.
It seems like this was like, this was very hard, like they
couldn't just rip the Band-Aid off.
Like it took a really long time to like adjust to the idea.
Of their family breaking up. But so that now it's 2017.
So this is like almost two years from when they announced their
separation. Jen officially filed for divorce
from Ben. But Ben in March.
Sources tell people and people is pretty reputable.
Like I usually trust them. The sources say that Jen has
decided to call off the divorce and that she is willing to give
what Ben and their marriage a second try.
Mm hmm. I know about.
That ads there, the source says. There is always a chance of
reconciliation. They love each other.
They also really, really love their kids and those kids love
their parents. I think a part of it too with
like divorce in this situation is it's not just getting
divorced from your partner, but like the idea of being a broken
family and like some that. Is so hard.
Nobody wants like, most of. Yeah.
And most of us don't think that that will happen to us.
And I feel like it probably does feel like a failure to subject
your kids to that. Yeah, I I think sometimes it's
hard too when like, you do still love each other.
You can then question like, wait, why are we doing this?
Like, let's just let's just be together, but then you keep
running. Into the same problems,
especially if it's painful to like think about the other
person with someone else, or to think about not being together
going to bed every night. But like, it's almost like when
you have kids, you have to be more sure of those decisions.
You can't like be an off and on couple because that's more
confusing for your kids, so. Yeah.
But the idea of reconciliation was really short lived, because
then in April, the two both officially filed papers together
to end their marriage, and in May, Ben officially moved out of
the guesthouse. Then in September, Ben
apparently had relapsed and his alcohol addiction and Jen and
Casey Affleck, Ben's brother, helped stage an intervention and
check him into an inpatient rehab facility for a few days.
Oh. Gosh.
I know at this time Ben, though, is moving on.
He has started dating SNL producer Lindsay Shukus, who she
previously dated Seth Meyers, and it's now being reported at
this time in 2017 that actually Lindsay and Ben maybe had an
affair back in 2013. What?
I don't know. What's going on there?
Interesting. But at this same time, Jen gave
an interview and said that she hasn't gone on a date with
anyone since the two announced their split two years ago.
I know. Sucks.
I feel like he's already been with two people that we know
about and she's still. I know, single.
Just prioritizing the kids and probably him.
And she's probably telling her friends like, I just can't date,
right? Now like I know.
Do you think that like, she might have had somewhat of a
saviour complex or like not complex but like?
Yeah. That seems like they're dynamic
a little bit, that she's like this Angel and he's this
troubled man and. Yeah, I mean, at a certain point
you have to walk away from that like it.
I feel like it would just be so taxing on her.
But you can't honestly in real life, like you can't do the bad
boy good girl thing like I've like.
I know. The bad.
I can change him. Yeah, you can't.
It's a cute trope, it really is, but it just doesn't work.
Yeah, if we have any young listeners.
Listening. Yeah, you can't change him.
No, you can never change him. Take him as he is.
Don't take him at all. Yep.
Know your worth. If you're too good for him, you
are too good and find somebody better.
Or if you're willing to change and just go down to his level,
go. Ahead, but yeah, so in 2018,
things seem to be getting worse for Ben and Jen is very worried
about him and he's apparently drinking all the time and.
Oh, no, he's. In and out of rehab.
And I do wonder if it's because of the divorce and because of
the shame of feeling like he brought the divorce upon himself
with the cheating and his habits.
And I don't know, it's it seems like he is spiraling.
And at one point he even crashed his motorcycle on his way to
church. And on another occasion, he and
Jen were spotted arguing with each other outside of their
son's basketball game. And Jen is like very worried
that their kids are going to lose their father, that he's
going to die very stressed. This is also the time when he
was photographed on the beach looking very sad with that
really infamous big back tattoo that he has.
So I know it's it's like, not looking good.
Jennifer was actually asked about that tattoo by Vanity
Fair, and she said, you know what we would say in my hometown
about that plus his heart. Oh.
My gosh. Bless his heart, Ben.
Ben is really some shade she's really like.
I know. Seriously.
So sources also tell tabloids that Ben has begged Jennifer to
get back together and that she was very close to considering it
after lots of family counseling, but ultimately couldn't see them
working out their issues because of his addiction issues, and
that she was just ready to move on at this point.
That's hard. But I could see if he's in a
really bad place, you know, wanting to get back together
with like this stable presence in his life that was his wife
and go back to the way things were.
It must be so hard for her because she I'm just guessing
here, but I can imagine that she feels so frustrated like that
she never even wanted her marriage to end and she is kind
of the one deciding this, but it's like she never wanted this
to happen. No, she was forced to break up
with him because he couldn't be like the husband and the father
that he needed to be and now he's like begging for her back.
She's in a position where she has to reject him, but it's only
because she knows that, like things aren't going to change.
She deserves better now. It sucks.
It still seems like they're on good terms, like they are going
on vacations together and they are still spending a lot of time
together as a family. In June, Jen posted a photo of
Ben for Father's Day and she captioned it.
Our kids are lucky to have a dad who looks at them the way you
look at them and loves you the way you love of them.
Hashtag Happy Father's Day. Hashtag 3 Lucky kids Hashtag
Have a great day. So she's it does seem like she's
uplifting him a lot. Then in August, she was
photographed driving a very visibly emotional Ben to rehab
after she reportedly staged another intervention for him
with his brother Casey. And at this time, the two were
apparently weeks away from finalizing their divorce, but
once again put that on hold because of his addiction issues.
They still haven't. No, my goodness, 2018 now.
So it's years later, and sources say that Ben has fallen off the
wagon a while ago, but he recently got progressively worse
and while he's in rehab, his mom actually stays with Jen and the
kids. I'm not sure why.
I'm guessing to either, like be close to her son or to just
like, help out with the kids at home.
But so it shows that, like, his whole family is like, very close
with Jennifer too. So then in October of that year,
after over three years of being separated, they officially
divorced like a really long time, which shows to me just how
painful this must have been for them.
I don't think it had anything to do with finances or assets or
custody. It just was hard for them to
accept that they're divorced. But as part of their settlement,
they agreed to meet with a family therapist on a monthly
basis for the next six months. And at this time, Jen is
actually now dating again. She has a new boyfriend,
businessman John Miller, and Ben, I believe, is single for a
brief period while he's working on his sobriety.
That's good. OK, so just a little bit more.
In 2019, they actually sold their house to Adam Levine.
Mentioned him a few episodes ago.
They sold it to him for $32 million after it had been on the
market for four years. Their house apparently had a
pool, a basketball court, a gym, a movie theater, and an art
studio. Sounds sick.
It's amazing. Must have been fun.
So yeah, they're really friendly.
After the divorce, Ben is always saying, like, how lucky he is
and how lucky his kids are to have Jen as their mom and how
wonderful she is as a person. On Mother's Day, he posted a
photo of his mom and Jen saying happy Mother's Day to the two
incredible mothers who have shown me the meaning of love.
And in October of 2019, Ben has been sober for several months,
but unfortunately it seems like he slipped up again on his
sobriety on a random Saturday where he was seen visibly drunk
at a charity masquerade ball. The next day he was seen
visiting Jen, well, visiting the kids at Jen's house.
And he was very open with paparazzi actually, and was
like, yeah, I slipped up and then a few days later they took
the kids trick or treating together.
They also spent Thanksgiving together and they were
photographed by paparazzi shortly after that,
unfortunately again arguing outside of her house before she
drove him to a hotel. And sources say that Jen's new
boyfriend John has been her rock through all the stresses with
Ben and his addiction troubles at this time.
It's tough like she's still dealing with him.
And do I do feel for him. He obviously has some demons
that he's really struggling with addiction.
But I feel like you can just imagine being in her life and
hearing about this, like, oh, you got to drive me again.
Like, Oh my God. I know it's like he is a fourth
child to her. So then in 2020, it's February
and Ben is interviewed by the New York Times and he talks a
lot about his sobriety and what he's gone through over the past
couple of years. And he says the biggest regret
of my life is this divorce shame is really toxic.
There is no positive byproduct of shame.
It's just doing in a toxic hideous feeling of low self
worth and self loathing does seem like the divorce, like
really tore him up inside. And meanwhile he also went on
Good Morning America and he said I never thought I was going to
get divorced. I didn't want to get divorced.
I didn't want to be a divorced person.
I really didn't want to be a split family with my children.
And it upset me because it meant I wasn't who I thought I was.
And that was so painful and so disappointing in myself.
I know. But also, like, makes you
wonder, is it that he really wanted to stay with Jennifer?
Or is it like, he just didn't want to get divorced?
Right. And I I mean, it's probably a
little, yeah. I It's really hard.
But I I kind of disagree that nothing good comes from shame.
I think it can be a good motivator to change and that.
I mean, it's really hard but he can't change the past but he can
try to change going forward. That is hard though.
Burden. Is your purpose.
Your burden is your purpose. So you know, I mean if you
didn't have that negative feeling telling you like, oh
that you really fucked up, like he might never have the
motivation to stop drinking so much or doing drugs.
I'm not sure what he's doing and that could kill him, you know.
If he doesn't stop you need to have some shame sometimes to
stop like deadly habits. So, but I feel for him.
It's he sounds really tortured about it.
I know at this point, though, he does begin dating his Deepwater
Co Star on a day Armas, which I honestly, I kind of think is a
PR relationship. Like they're always like walking
slowly in the street together. I don't know.
Yeah. Oh my gosh.
Imagine getting with him after all of this.
It's just, Oh my, that would be. Scary.
And she's young, She's in her 20s at this.
Like too much baggage, way too much.
Which is like, OK, I haven't covered Jlo's other
relationships yet, but I believe that she got with Ben Affleck
very quickly after her and a rod broke up.
Because it seemed like maybe a rod had been, like, sexting
somebody else. Or like, I forget what it was,
but like, it was like maybe he had cheated or or was just being
a little shady, maybe not, didn't even cheat all the way.
And then you're going to get with Ben like right after and
then marry him like, girl, he cheated on his wife, his three
children with the nanny, and what do you think?
He's going to be faithful to you.
And he fell in love with that wife while he was with you.
Exactly. Like, he's not going to be any
better. But you know what though?
Sometimes this is a thing to get over someone.
It does help to replace them with somebody else who will make
you feel even worse. So maybe that's.
Even worse. Yeah, if you're upset about
someone, just be upset about somebody.
Else, I mean, yeah, that's true. You will forget about the other
person. Exactly.
It'll cure it, but at what cost? Yeah, So skipping ahead,
Speaking of Jlo, in 2021 and May, Ben is very publicly
getting back together with her. And a source says that Jennifer
Garner doesn't want to be a part of the media circus associated
with their relationship. And that she's just focused on
their kids. And that she just hopes that Ben
is a good father and that his life, love, life is not her
problem, which good for her, I think.
I think honestly though, it would be kind of painful to be
married to someone for 10 years. You have kids together and then
like even though you're moved on, not just to see them with
someone else, but see them with their ex from before you would
be kind of painful. I think so too.
I think it would. Because I'm sure, like in the
back of her mind, throughout their relationship, Jlo was an
insecurity. Yeah, she probably always
compared herself to. Her.
Yeah. Because like you guys had this
like huge famous relationship especially.
Since they seem different personality.
Wise and they have the same name.
And I've even, I don't know people, sometimes people think
that like when someone dates somebody and then right after
they date someone very similar, they think that that means
they're still obsessed with their ex or something.
But I've also read people say, like if somebody dates a
complete opposite of their ex, it kind of means they're like so
upset about that or whatever that they're you know, trying to
do the complete, you know, there's reacting so much to
their ex that they're looking for someone totally different.
So I don't know. I I would.
I could see her throughout the relationship whenever she hears
of Jennifer Lopez feeling a little weird about it, maybe.
Especially since Jlo's whole thing, I feel like, is being,
like, so sexy and so powerful and glamorous.
And exactly, Yeah, I think that would be hard to see him get
back with her. Yeah, especially when, like, I
feel like Ben sees Jennifer Garner as like a mom.
He sees her as like a mom of his children and then like to get
with Jlo. It's like OK, well you don't
really have to bear the responsibilities of being a Co
parent with her and like you're now free to, I don't know be a
little bit looser. I I think it would be painful
but things seem OK though I think Jennifer Garner is so
mature she accompanied Jlo to take the kids trick or treating
together. She's just everything is all
about the kids, which is so sweet.
Ben not so mature. He goes on Howard Stern and he
talked a little bit about the media attention during their
divorce. And I have a clip.
OK. To live my life in a way that
and then you know they during the divorce, they printed
fucking. Horrible lies.
Horrible. Like what?
What were the lies? I don't even want to give voice
to it because then goes, oh, they said this.
They said that anything you read about that was bullshit.
The truth was we we took our time.
We made the decision. We didn't want to show the kind
of we we grew apart. We had a marriage that didn't
work. This happens.
If somebody I love and respect, but to whom I want, I shouldn't
be married any longer. And we said, you know what?
We don't want to. Ultimately, we we tried.
We tried. We tried because we had kids,
and then we said we don't. Both of us felt like we don't
want this to be the model that our kids see of marriage.
I I felt like we did it amicably.
We did our best. Did we have moments of tension?
Did we have disagreements over the custody?
Was stuff difficult for us? Did we get angry?
Yes. But fundamentally it was always
underpinned with the respect. I knew she was a good mom.
He also in that same interview which first of all take a drink
anytime anyone opens up to how. Yes, it's been a while since
we've seen him. But in that same interview, Ben
said part of why I was drinking was because I felt trapped.
I was like, I can't believe it's because of my kids, but I'm not
happy. What do I do?
And what I did was I drank a bottle of Scotch and fell asleep
on the couch, which turned out to not be the solution.
And then in the same interview, he also went on to say that he
believes that if he was still married to Jennifer Garner, he
would probably still be drinking.
Jeez, that's not nice thing to say.
That's this is the woman that literally, like, is putting
aside her own personal feelings to make sure that you're like
included in the family time with them.
She's driving you to rehab. She's like making sure you're
still alive to then say, I would probably still be drinking if I
was married to her. Like, dude, that's that is
honestly evil. Evil.
I don't know. We don't have to watch the clip
that I sent you of him on Jimmy Kimmel.
Why not know if it's? We can watch it.
Do you want? To watch it.
Yeah, I want to watch it. But what do you have to say
about it? Well, this is him addressing and
clarifying his comments about what he said on Howard Stern.
I'm curious. I listen to you.
Really cool. Like long form in depth.
You know his two hour interview and because the movie is about
family and all this stuff that's that's meaningful to me.
We talked a lot about my family and, you know, divorce and
alcohols and the struggling with real things and how you, how you
have to be accountable and loving how I work with my
ex-wife and how I'm so proud of the way that we work together
for our kids is the best that we can for them.
And it was the irony. I was really happy with it, you
know? And then the interview.
Was great interviews. I thought wow, I I should do
more honest, exploratory, you know, self evaluating things.
And I started seeing all this stuff come up on Twitter and I
was like well what is this? And I sort of researched through
it and then saw that one of these websites had done the, the
clickbait thing of like, you won't believe what he said,
click on this, come to our site. I looked on it and they had
literally taken the conversation that I had had for two hours and
made it seem as if I was saying the exact opposite of what I
said. I had gone on and said like how
much we respect each other and cared about each other and cared
about our kids and put them first and went through our
stuff. And he said that I had blamed my
ex-wife from my alcoholism. And then I was trapped in this,
like, just made me out to be like, the worst, most
insensitive, stupid, awful guy. And I look, I I know people do
this. I get it.
Me. I'm happy to be sad, Batman.
I'm happy to be Dunkin' Donuts and the meme I understand you
have. You have to get married to Jimmy
Kimmel sometimes. Really, like, it's about my
kids. I got to just draw a line.
Right. You know, of course.
Clear. Like that's not true.
I don't believe that. It's the exact.
Opposite of who I am, what I believe.
And I would never want my kids to think I would ever say a bad
word about their mom because. This really upset you.
I mean, obviously. Yeah, I I noticed that.
I saw that online and it was crazy that they take this tiny
little piece and then they. And wait, are you saying the
media sometimes takes things out of context for?
Occasionally effect. It does seem like that really
upset him, that people took it that way.
But like, I think he's just like not self aware because you said
if I was still married to her, I'd probably still be drinking.
Like what other way are we to take that?
You could say all the other things you want about her and
how great she is. You still said those words, like
strung that sentence together. It doesn't matter if it's out of
context and we don't know anything else that you said,
like you still said that and that's a disrespectful thing to
say. He probably should not have been
doing interviews, no. He seems a bit erratic and.
Yeah, I don't. Know not in the best place.
But I was thinking, it does seem like he's changed his tune a lot
since being with Jlo. And I don't know if that's her
influence at all. But like, this is before he was
saying the biggest regret of his life was his divorce.
And like, you know, we heard that he was begging Jennifer
Garner to get back together. And so now he seems kind of
dismissive of her. Like, yeah, like I was in it to
make the make it work with the kids and I shouldn't have been
in the marriage and, you know, had to get divorced.
And it's just like, painful how he's kind of changed his tune.
People always do that and. Now it's like, oh, Jen is just
like the mother of his kids. He doesn't see her like as
someone that he loved and wanted to, no.
It's not true. You did love where you wanted to
be. Get back together.
I know, but I'm sure maybe that part of that is like him being
dismissive of her to make Jlo feel more secure or something.
I don't know. I could see him saying I didn't
hear the whole interview, that maybe he like had to hit rock
bottom in order for him to change.
Yeah. And that was the only way in his
divorce. Like was a wake up call to him
and that was the only way he was ever going to.
Yeah, maybe. Change, I don't know.
That's true to say. I felt trapped in that.
It's just putting a lot of blame on the person that was actually
saving your life. I know, just cruel.
And then here's another thing. This is so odd.
In 2022, Ben married Jlo in a Las Vegas wedding on July 16th,
2022, Right. And weirdly so.
I guess like when you sign an affidavit for marriage
certificate, you need to list the dates of like your previous
marriages if you've been married before.
Or maybe you have to do that in Vegas.
I don't know, like I something I never heard of.
But so Jlo and Ben both had to list the time periods of their
previous marriages. And on the marriage certificate
he listed his marriage to Jennifer Gardner as ending
exactly 9 years earlier on July 16th, 2013.
So what? He listed it as the same day as
his wedding to Jlo, but 2013? Which is weird because they
didn't announce their separation until 2015.
And over the course of like, 2014 and 2015, there are like so
many paparazzi photos of them looking like they're a couple.
So it's weird. And it seems like they're a
couple. Like for all intents and
purposes, they are. So unless they were just like
putting on a front for the public, I don't get why he's
like. It's weird.
Pretending like his marriage ended and also.
Did he just get the date wrong or he just was he just wrote the
wrong number? That's so weird.
I don't know if he's like, trying to make it seem like his
marriage to Jennifer Garner is a lot more in the past than it
really was. Like, keep in mind, they didn't
even officially divorce until 2018.
So he's listening. It was like way. 5.
Years. Even though he he was literally
living in the guest house and leaning on Jennifer Gardner
emotionally. And even if they weren't still
together for those three years, between their separation and
their divorce, they were still kind of partners, I just think.
That's so odd. And.
Disrespectful. Yeah.
It's really weird. Maybe that's when he started
cheating on her, and like, that's why he thinks that it
wasn't like a legitimate marriage.
But also that it's just legally not true.
It's not, yeah. So how can he just change it?
I don't. I don't know.
And it's like, it's obviously not true because what are the
odds your marriage ended the same day that you're not getting
married? Unless that's on purpose.
It's weird. But again, I don't know if he's
like dismissing his marriage to Jennifer Gardner to make Jlo
feel better or something. But maybe.
I mean, for like all intents and purposes, even after they
announce their separation, Jennifer Garner was his wife.
She was taking care of him for all these years.
I think that's just so rude of him.
But J Lowe's problem now, I guess.
Now to this day, Jen and Ben are still photographed together by
paparazzi all the time, and in some pictures they look very
friendly, like sometimes they're even smiling and hugging.
There was one photo of them in a car where they, like, really
were hugging and thought it was kind of odd, but there's also
sometimes photos where they seem to be in fights, or at least in
having very tense conversations. So.
Wow. Seems like they're just like Co
paying And yeah, that's that's Ben and Jen.
Oh my gosh. What a story.
Odds that they get back together.
I mean, they see each other all the time, but for Jennifer's
sake, I hope not. I I don't see her wanting to get
back with him. No.
And that would be ridiculous. That's too ridic.
I mean, he's already gotten back with Jennifer Lopez.
I'll say like .5%. Yeah, me too.
Me too. I think she knows that she's
better off without him. He seems like a.
Burden. It's sad.
I mean, there could have been a possibility where they both grew
together and, you know, kept up the love.
But no. I think, I don't think say
something that's like men. Not that Ben left Jennifer
Garner for Jlo like they were already divorced long before,
but like men will leave you for what's easier.
I feel like it's a classic case of like do.
They say that. Yeah, I think so.
Jennifer Garner was just too good for him, like she expected
too much because she deserved better.
Like he could never live up because he never was mature or
good enough for her. So he's.
I mean, honestly, Jlo probably deserves better too.
Like, I'm not, there's nothing against Jlo, but she probably
is. Just like accepting him where
he's at, I'm guessing and I. I feel like the narrative is
kind of I don't know if he believes this or what it's
really like in their personal lives, but it kind of seems
like, oh, Jlo's The Fun 1 Jennifer Garner now.
Exactly. You know.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. But also, you don't share kids
with Jlo, so she's not expecting you to, like, be there for the
kids and be a good father the way that Jennifer Garner.
Garner needs you to man. So many.
Interests. I know things.
Like relatable things in in this.
Story I know, I know. For real.
And it is kind of sad for Jlo too, in a way though, because
it's like they were engaged all these years ago, but like, he
could only be with her in this capacity of like, oh, we've
already had kids separately. Now we're kind of like in a new
chapter of our life, Like, you know, we can share like a
blended family, but they don't know.
They're not doing the, like, domestic life together.
Yeah, the way they planned. Such an interesting point.
Why couldn't they make it work in that stage of life?
I don't know. I know.
Because he's selfish and responsible.
I mean, I Yeah, he's troubled. You're Boston, boy.
I know our hometown hero. He is troubled.
Oh, thanks, Mel. It was so interesting.
I have a lot of feelings right now.
Well, what are we doing next week on Patreon, if you're ready
to show that? Week kind of controversial
couple, another age gap couple, but it's a little bit different
from age gaps covered previously.
OK. OK.
Think I know what you mean. I also know who it is.
Cool. Well, thank you guys so much for
listening. Thank.
You and we'll get back together next week.
Is your heart filled with pain? Shall I come back again?
10 Medium.