Are you alone? Come tonight.
Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry?
All right. Hi, guys.
Welcome back to Significant Lovers.
A True love podcast, I have to say.
So first of all, I'm Mel. I'm Kel.
We're cousins. We're Cousins.
Best friends. Yep.
First cousins, too. First cousins.
What were you going to say? Related Oh, I was going to say,
I have to say like I was reflecting today.
This podcast I truly think has like changed my life.
Because when it comes to relationships, romantic
relationships, because it just really helps to see like the
long term and the bigger picture.
And like one of my friends, she just went through a breakup and
she had broken up with somebody and she was feeling really
guilty about it. And you know, she was like, he
didn't do anything wrong. Like, you know, it'd be
different if you like cheated or something.
And she was like, I just, I just feel bad.
I I broke his heart. And I was like, you know, on the
podcast, like, well, I didn't say on the podcast, but I said,
like you really, it's nice to feel bad.
But sometimes being broken up with can be the best thing that
ever happens to someone, because then it makes them available and
gives them the time to find somebody else.
And then my friend Tess, hi, Tess is like Love Guru over
here. But that's something I never
would have really. I think if it weren't for this
podcast, it's. True, I know.
I feel like we've learned a lot from it.
And I also think that, I mean, we've had a lot of breakups on
this show, but it's been inspiring for me when we have
those couples that are together for a really long time, like 30
years, 40 years or something, to hear from them.
It's inspiring. Yeah.
So it's fun. Headaches couple.
This is an episode that I had been putting off for a while.
I think Kelly's in the same boat.
Like this is a couple that one of my words that I would use to
describe them would be overexposed.
I don't know. They just kind of have always
annoyed me, especially recently. This is Bennifer, Jennifer Lopez
and Ben Affleck. There's something that seems
very insincere about them. But I thought, you know what?
I Maybe that's not the case. You know, it's time to give them
a closer look. And when they were originally
together, which is what this episode is going to be about, I
was so young that, like, I had no concept of it.
So it's interesting to look back and think like, OK, why was this
couples so significant? Yeah, I I mean, what years were
they together originally? 2002 to 2000.
Four. Yeah.
So, yeah, I think I heard of them, but I also didn't know
what was happening. So that's going to be really
interesting. I do.
You think, I mean, I know we still have Part 2 to get to, but
having done this research, was there anything that surprised
you? Oh yeah, definitely.
Challenged what you originally thought of them.
I don't know about that, but it's like the timeline of their
relationship I think is very interesting.
It it surprises me because it's it's so interesting like how
different timelines can be in relationship to relationship.
Like I'm in a I've been dating someone for six months and it
still to me feels like very, very early in the relationship.
I would not bring up getting married or like like anything
like that. But for some of these people
that we cover it's like 5 months into dating they're already
married or something. Like it's it's crazy and it is
just the the vast difference in schedules that people have for
relationship is absurd and. Then there was our couple last
week. Greta Gerwig and Noah Bomback
were together for 12 years, I think, before they got married.
So everybody's on their own journey, as they say.
Yeah. Before we start, I wanted to
just quickly thank our new patrons on Patreon from the past
week, just from the past week. So I just wanted to say thanks
to Molly, Amy, Donna, Donnie and Robbie.
Thank you guys so much for joining us over there.
But yeah, Mel, if you had to describe this couple in three
words, what would you say? Oh, we're exposed to be 1A.
Whirlwind would be another one. I know that's not an adjective.
Happy Whirlwind Wednesday. Happy whirlwind Wednesday
Overexposed whirlwind and I'm coming with I'll put this on the
spot. I would say sensationalized, OK,
this relationship, it reminded me so much of Pete Davidson and
Ariana Grande and that it was a rebound relationship that moved
very quickly and blew up very fast in the public.
And both parties in the couple seemed like they took full
advantage of the publicity to cross promote their work.
Oh, that's another word I probably would use like
opportunistic. But yeah, it almost made me
wonder if that was deliberate. If let's say, Pete and Ariana
really were a publicity stunt. If they were using benefit as
their blueprint. Maybe possibly their PR people
could could have said this worked last time.
You know this is perfect. I still think it would be insane
to get a tattoo for APR relationship, but.
But he he does that for relationships that obviously are
not going to last. That's the other it's like the
fact that someone can get a tattoo like a month or two in a
new relationship. People are.
How do people get away with that stuff?
I feel like if I did something like that, people would be like
she's crazy. I.
Know. Seriously.
See, I feel like everybody from your high school would be like,
whoa, yeah, what is going on with this girl?
OK, who are? Jlo and Ben Affleck So Jennifer
Lynn Lopez She was born July 24th, 1969 to Puerto Rican
parents David in Guadalupe. They raised her in the Bronx.
Her dad was a computer technician and her mom was a
stay at home mom when Jlo was very young.
And then she worked as a kindergarten teacher and a
Tupperware salesperson. Cute and growing up.
Jen was pretty active. She played sports, she did dance
and she did gymnastics. And after high school, she did
one semester as a business major at Barach College, and then she
dropped out to pursue dance professionally, much to her
parents disapproval. And at 20 years old, she got her
first professional dance gig and had the opportunity to tour
Europe for a show called Golden Musicals on Broadway.
And then this LED her to other dance opportunities, dancing as
a background dancer for different artists.
And then getting a reoccurring role as a dancer on the TV
series In Living Colour, which caused her to move to LA, where
she also began taking acting classes.
And she actually had the opportunity to go on a world
tour as Janet Jackson's backup dancer, but she turned it down
to pursue acting full time. And then she did some sitcom
work. She was on a show called South
Central and then a CBCBS show called Second Chances that got
cancelled and then she was on a spin off called Hotel Hotel
Malibu. And then she began acting in
different films, small roles here and there.
She was in a film called Me Family A which I think did
pretty well. And around this time she was in
a decade long relationship with her first love and her high
school sweetheart named David Cruz who was working as APA in
Hollywood. And they broke up sometime in
like 1995. Her first love.
Mm hmm. And she seems like like she is a
long term dater. Like she dated that guy for 10
years. But I I I don't know what
happened in their relationship, but maybe they broke up because
you know, he's working as APA and then she gets like all these
big roles. Maybe there is a struggle there.
People outgrow each other. Exactly.
High school relationships usually don't last,
unfortunately. But then in 1997, Jlo got her
big, big break when she was cast in the biopic Selena about
Selena, the singer who had tragically passed away.
And Jlo became the first Latina actress ever to earn $1,000,000
for a role. And this was a very big role for
her. Robert Robert R Ebert considered
this a star making performance, and she received her first
Golden Globe nomination. And apparently the film's
director, Gregory Nava, asked Warner Brothers to fund an
Oscars campaign for her. But they said that the Academy
would never nominate A Latina. What?
And around this time, Jlo also got married for the first time.
She married a Cuban waiter named oh Johnny Noah, who she met in
Miami at a restaurant owned by Gloria Estefan.
And they did it for a little bit less than a year, and the
marriage was equally short. And they divorced just a year
later. What?
That's kind of. Crazy.
I know it is crazy. So that's her first marriage.
And then in the late 90s, Jlo kept consistently acting in more
movies, but she found herself missing the excitement of
performing on stage like she did in Selena.
And you know, I didn't realize that she didn't even sing in
that movie. She just lip synched all the
songs. And what there are rumours that
Jlo doesn't really sing and can't really sing.
And I I didn't really think much of that before, 'cause I was
like, well, why would she have a music career?
Like, there are so many singers out there, But I never knew that
she went from like a dancer to actress to singer, that she
didn't start out as a singer. That's interesting.
But I feel like she had so much success playing Selena that her
team and a lot of music executives saw her as having the
potential to be embraced by Selena's fanbase and kind of
fill that gap that was left in the Latin American community
after Selena had died, Especially since now she's
associated with her. So I could see why there would
be such a strong motivation by the different labels to try to
sign her. Can she sing or not?
What the? Heck, there's a lot of rumors
that she uses different vocals from different artists in her
songs, like a Sean Meghan trainer.
But so yeah, at around 30, which is pretty late in the industry,
she began recording her first demo and her manager, Benny
Medina pitched her to different labels, positioning her as Latin
artists with immense cross cultural potential.
That's inspiring fighting. Yeah, people were fighting over
her. Many of the major labels bid
each other, but Sony ultimately signed her and suggested that
she's singing English. It is speculated that the head
of Sony, Tomi Mottola, wanted to use Jlo to undermine his ex-wife
Mariah Carey. Oh yeah, didn't you talk about
this? Yeah, there's like a long
history about a feud between these two.
In the Mariah Carey and Eminem. Episode.
Yeah, yeah, I totally forgot about that episode so long ago.
Yeah, it's our 76th episode. I know what.
They've. Done a lot.
Then in 1999, she released her debut single, If You Had My
Love. It quickly became a number one
hit, and later that year she released her debut album on the
six, which is a reference to the six subway line between the
Bronx and Manhattan. And one of the contributors on
the album was Sean Combs, AKA Puff Daddy AP Diddy.
I was getting confused because I was like, why did she date Puff
Daddy or P Diddy? And then I was like, oh wait,
that's the same person. Three men in one.
Yeah, and they dated in what has been described as a tumultuous
on and off relationship. They actually had been arrested
at one point for possession of a stolen gun, the two of them,
after fleeing the scene of a shooting at a club in New York.
But that's probably a story for another day they brought up in
2001. And then soon after, like months
later, Jlo married her backup dancer Chris Judd, who worked in
Her Love Don't Cost a Thing music video.
Oh my goodness. Which that seems like her MO.
She'll like she'll break up with someone and, like, quickly get
married to somebody else. So odd.
How many times has she been married?
Now in real life, I think four times, OK, but I think she has
been engaged like, I don't even know many times she's she's.
A serial fiance. Yeah, a lot of proposals.
Wow. So then Jlo before meeting Ben
like she's on the top of at at the top of her career.
In 2001, she was the first woman to ever have a number one film
and a number one album at the same time when her movie The
Wedding Planner and her sophomore album Jlo were
released during the same week that year.
That same year, she also released a very successful
clothing line called Jlo by Jennifer Lopez.
She also opened up her own restaurant.
Like, all that to say is I feel like she's very much like a
product. I think of good marketing and
like a good team. She has incredible star power.
But I think at the end of the day, like she's also successful
because she is so well managed, but that, but she is also a huge
trailblazer. Like she's arguably the biggest
Latina global superstar in the world and she has like so many
different ventures and has done so many different things.
Music producer Danny Rooney described her as probably the
hung, hungriest artist I had ever worked with or encountered.
I think she is kind of like a workaholic.
I can sense that even from the distance that I have, I I've
never been like that close to Jlo's career, like participating
in it. But I can tell.
Yeah, like she was even like a judge on American Idol at one
point. I think she does so much.
She does, Andrew Barker, a writer for Variety, said.
Jennifer exhibits a plethora of contradictions, adding despite A
carefully cultivated image as an imperious pop Empress and
ludicrously expensive outfits, her signature hits bear the
titles I'm Real and Jenny from The Block.
True. She is both relatable to people,
but completely like the least relatable person alive.
And that's polarized insightful. Yeah, but then, OK, so who's
Ben? Like Ben, He's our hometown hero
from Massachusetts, right? He's Boston.
Boy. Exactly our Boston boy.
He actually was born in California, though Berkeley on
August 15th. Freaking.
Kidding me? But his family moved to Mass
when he was just three years old, OK?
And he was raised in Falmouth, which is, if you guys don't
know, that's like on the Cape. We know it.
Yeah, His mom, Chris, was a Harvard educated elementary
school teacher and his father, Timothy was an aspiring
playwright. But he was usually unemployed or
he worked at different blue collar jobs.
He was a severe alcoholic and I think that was really tough on
Ben growing up. He was very difficult to live
with, and this led to his parents getting divorced when
Ben was just 11 years old. After that, his dad was homeless
for a while, and then when Ben was around 16, his dad got into
a rehab facility where he actually lived for 12 years,
getting sober. Wow, that's really tough.
But the Affleck family like they were very friendly with like
different creative types. I think his mom knew a lot of
people from Harvard who were pretty successful creatively.
She was friends with the casting director in Cambridge, which led
to Ben and his little brother Casey acting in a lot of local
commercials. And then at age 12, he was cast
in an educational PBS program called The Voyage of Mimi, which
was something they played in schools and that films in
Gloucester, Mass, and then also in Mexico.
So his family moved to Mexico for like a year when he was.
In middle school. Then so Ben attended Cambridge
Bridge in Latin High School, where he acted in school plays,
and he became a close friend of Matt Damon who was there, who's
two years older than him. Oh my goodness.
Another Boston boy. Our Boston.
Boy, they actually, they were so close that they shared a joint
bank account and they would save up their money to go to New York
together to audition for parts. Wow.
Then Matt went on to go to college at Harvard, and two
years later Ben studied at the University of Vermont, majoring
in Spanish. He went to UVM.
Well, just for a little bit. Apparently he only went there
because he had a high school girlfriend who was going to a
nearby school in Vermont. And he said that he had somewhat
unrequited feelings for her. And that two weeks into the
semester he rang up her dorm and a guy answered.
And so then he transferred very quickly to Occidental College in
LA, where he studied, studied Middle Eastern affairs, and then
began directing student films. Interesting.
And then he dropped out a year and a half later to focus on
acting full time. And wait a second, at UVM he was
studying Spanish. I know that was Spanish, but
wow. Yeah, I think an.
Interesting guy. He.
Made it seem like he only went to UVM just to chase this girl.
Wow, that's funny. But that tells you something
like, OK, so he seems like someone who kind of falls down
bad for people, you know? Yeah, he'll do anything.
Meanwhile, he kept auditioning for things.
He landed small roles and things here and there before he landed
the part as the high school bully in the 1993 film Dazed and
Confused. Yes, you're so mean and scary in
that movie, I've actually. Never seen it?
Mel, you have to. You really should.
Especially since you like weed. Oh, that's true.
You have to. See it?
He yeah, he's very memorable in that movie.
He's great. I love that movie.
Well, he must have been a convincing bully because after
that he played a bully in Kevin Smith's Mole Rats, which led him
to becoming very close friends with Kevin Smith.
And he was then cast as the lead in Kevin's romantic comedy
Chasing Amy, which was kind of seen as his breakthrough role.
Meanwhile, Matt and Ben and Matt Damon began developing their
script for a little known film called Goodwill Hunting.
Which? Matt had originally submitted as
an assignment at Harvard and they finished the script in 1994
and then they sold it to Castle Rock Entertainment.
However, there was some creative differences with the studio, and
then the production studio said that they could pitch it
somewhere else, but they needed to get their money back.
The boys had been paid $625,000, so they needed to find a buyer
who was willing to match that price.
Kevin Smith, Ben's really good friend, ended up giving it to
the now disgraced Harvey Weinstein, who bought the script
and began filming it with Miramax in 1997, starring both
Ben and Matt. Wow.
And it was a huge commercial success, obviously, and a huge
critical one. They both won the Oscar for Best
Original screenplay, and Ben is still the youngest writer to
ever achieve that at just 25 years old.
Oh. My gosh.
So he's also like at the top of his career.
After that, him and Matt went on to form their own production
company with Warner Brothers called Pearl St.
Companies, and he just kept establishing himself as a
leading actor. Averaging about three to five
major movie releases a year, including roles like Shakespeare
and Love Armageddon and Pearl Harbor.
It's. Crazy that they were high school
friends. I mean, imagine doing all that
with my friend from high school. Just like let's do this and you,
I know exactly. Guys achieve such success.
It's crazy. I love their speech at the
Oscars too, 'cause they're like yacht, like, they're like in
their early 20s. Oh, you should watch it like
they're like, shocked. Like that they won an Oscar.
Wow. But yeah, so then Ben dated
Gwyneth Paltrow, who we've covered on the show before, for
about three years after they met in Shakespeare in Love.
And I just, I would thought I would include this quote from
her because I think it might give you a sense of who he is,
she said to Howard Stern. I think my parents appreciated
how he's super intelligent and he's really, really talented and
so funny. But he was not in a good place
in his life to have a girlfriend.
I think they were OK with the two of us not being together.
Oh, oh, someone's parents wanted to be over.
Like that's a falling sign. So how did Ben and Jen come to
form Benefer? The two?
They had casually, casually crossed paths a different
industry events, including at the 98 Academy Awards and at the
premiere of Ben's film Armageddon.
Back in the 90s however, they officially became acquainted on
the set of their ROM com Geely, which began filming in December
2001 and about first seeing Ben on the set.
Jennifer had said they did a read through of the whole thing
and I remember just walking in. I think he was outside smoking a
cigarette and I saw him and we just talked for a minute and I
sat down and we did the read through.
I don't remember a whole bunch more about it but I remember
being on set with him every day and loving him.
But at this time Jlo was still married to her second husband
Chris Judd and later on there were rumours that something
maybe happened on set. But she denied this saying I'm a
very faithful person. If somebody had told me Ben's
attracted to you, I would have said no.
I wasn't raised that way. Ben also denied that anything
went down, saying when I met her we became really, really, really
good friends, first of all three.
Really. Like, really.
Really. Yeah.
That's a little damning right there, that that kind of tells
me all I need to know. Really.
Really.
Yeah, like, OK, you could have stopped at 2:00, but the third,
really, like, that's suggestive, he says.
But at first, because she was married, there was no thought of
a romantic relationship, so that no thought.
I know exactly. So that created the opportunity
to get to know each other without any falseness that goes
on with courtship because you're trying to make a good
impression, which honestly, you should try to make a good
impression with anybody. Like, even if it's not a
courtship, you should be behaving well when you first
meet someone, especially a Co worker.
I know. However, it does seem like he
had feelings for her because he also added with Jen, I thought
even though it can never happen, it was nice for me to know I was
capable of feeling that way. I would love somebody in a way
where what I really wanted was for them to be happy even more
than I wanted than what I wanted what I wanted.
That was a new experience for me.
Loving somebody but not wait, what?
What is he saying? He's like saying that this is
the first time he realized he could love somebody without
receiving anything back. I think, OK, that's nice.
So then in March, Jen was named Show W Female Star of the Year.
And I guess at this time it was customary for people in the
industry like directors and producers to place trade ads in
industry magazines like The Hollywood Reporter, Variety,
stuff like that as kind of like a interoffice memo of
announcements. Whereas nowadays they would just
post stuff to social media, but it was their way of like
communicating with people in the industry.
I see. So anyways, in that month March,
Ben spent $18,000 on ads and Variety in The Hollywood
Reporter to congratulate Jennifer.
And in the ad, he wrote, you have shown kindness, dedication,
diligence, humility, graciousness of spirit, beauty
and courage, great empathy, astonishing talent, real poise
and true grace has nothing but an honor and a pleasure to work
with you. I only wish I were lucky enough
to be in all your movies. Oh my gosh.
Respect and Gratitude, Ben Affleck.
Whoa. And so this got people talking
like what That's. I mean, I know you're you have a
lot of money, but $18,000 just to congratulate somebody?
Yeah, and all those crazy adjectives.
It was nice. And I know I love hearing
anything written by anybody. It's just.
So people thought maybe that was yeah, like, maybe that was his
way to woo. Her seems like it.
He later told Variety that the reason he placed the ad was to
refute rumors that Jennifer had a reputation for being difficult
on set. Well, that's nice of him.
I know. If, if that's the reason.
Still super, super, super nice of him, yeah.
I feel like, you know, if you were Jen's husband, you'd be
like, who is this guy? Yeah, I don't want this at all.
And like, you had to keep in mind, like Jen's husband.
Wait, is this the, oh, this is our backup dancer.
Like this kind of a power dynamic with that right now.
Yeah, I would definitely. Feel threatened Interior.
If I were Judd. You would feel what?
Threatened. Yeah, yeah, he should.
Because then in April it was reported that Jennifer was seen
smiling and sitting close to Ben at her restaurant in LA.
And then in June, it's June 2002.
It's revealed that Jen had separated from Chris and that
she had initiated the breakup and he was reportedly
devastated. Oh man.
And why? Reports said that they weren't
ready to divorce. She filed for divorce a month
later, after only ten months of marriage.
Not a great track record. Like her first marriage was a
year and then her second one was ten months.
I I wonder. What her parents think about
that? I know I feel like it seems
normal with celebrities, but I always think back to like the
people that you grew up with in their family.
Like what do they think about all this?
I know exactly you'd I would be nervous.
Like, OK, let's take a break from relationships for a while.
Even though the couple's closest friends and family were
reportedly what so, even the couple's closest friends and
family were reportedly shocked because apparently up until that
point they had seemed madly in love to everyone who knew them.
But it all made sense a month later when the New York Post
reported that Jennifer and Ben were openly coupled up at her
32nd birthday party in New York City, saying that they had been
affectionately, affectionately canoodling and that he gave her
a very expensive diamond bracelet.
Wow. Even just to get get somebody a
diamond bracelet. Like a month out of datings.
Wow. That's intense.
But like, yeah, it's like, OK,
she's with him right away after her second divorce.
I don't want to judge, but let's slow it down.
Yeah, let's slow it down. Jen's ex-husband Chris, his
father, was pissed and against his son's wishes, he went to the
New York Daily saying she jumped in with the worst person she
could possibly be with and added that Ben was actively pursuing
Jen on the set of Julie, saying I thought Mr. Affleck would
honor a married woman and not just go right into her trailer.
So I don't know. They quickly became known as
Bennifer, which was the first ever Hollywood nickname for a
couple. You know, Now we have Bran,
Jelena, Robson, Tomcat. Yeah, Kim Kimye.
Oh yeah. Spidey.
Oh yeah. What are the other like I?
Don't know oh. Jelena, that was a big one, but
Bennifer was the first ever time that's ever happened.
And later in 2021, Kevin Smith claimed that he was the one to
originally come up with it when he had name dropped them.
Apparently he called them benefit in an interview with the
New York Times, and then quickly after that, the press just ran
with it and kept calling them that.
That's. Fun What would you and Charlie,
what would your nickname be as a couple?
We we already say we're chelly. Oh, that.
Oh yes, I love that Shelly. It feels like a third person,
like another name or something. Shelly.
Oh, Shelly. OK, I'm going to start calling
you guys that. Do you and Zach have any
nickname? Would you be?
I don't know. Tough Mack no MEC.
My name doesn't really ever go good with anybody's name.
Milk. Milk Melch.
Maybe you could do something with the last names too.
Oh yeah, I don't know. I won't.
I won't drop his last name on here.
But but so anyways, Ben then in November of that year, appeared
in the music video for Jenny from the Block, which shows him
touching her butt. And then they're kissing on a
yacht. And then there's like clips of
like paparazzi taking photos of them while they're reading
tabloids about themselves. Oh my goodness.
I don't. I there's something about that I
don't love. I don't know what it is, but
later. It's so self absorbed.
It is and I think, I think they both are self absorbed.
That's why I didn't really want to cover them.
But we got. I feel like they get worse later
on in their life, but we'll get there.
I have to say it was it was fun researching them though, that
there's a lot there. So later in 2008, Ben told Fox
News that his one regret in life was filming that music video
because him grabbing her ass made him look like an
ungentleman. Petulant fool.
Yeah, you can see them. So then that's a month.
I know I yeah, I don't. I don't get gentlemen vibes from
him. Me neither.
I mean, he grabbed the ass. That same month, they also began
filming the comedy drama Jersey Girl together in Philly, which
was directed by Kevin Smith. I feel like I'm name dropping
him left and right and this. Liv Tyler was in that movie.
Oh wow. Yep.
I didn't realize that. You know, Speaking of since you
said name dropping Kevin Smith, you know, I made it part of our
drinking game, John Mayer making appearances, but he really
hasn't shown up recently. I feel like he was like so
prevalent in our early episodes, but not anymore.
I know. Where's he been?
I'm actually missing him. I actually went out of my way to
for last week's episode to search Noah Baumbach, Gregor
Wick, John Mayer. And I did find a mention of him,
but it was honestly so irrelevant that it was like a
stretch for me to mention it. So I didn't.
But it's just like searched on here.
He used to be in like every episode.
I guess we've just broadened our horizons.
Maybe. I don't know.
I know all there is one mirror article.
Jennifer Lopez isn't married to John Mayer yet, but she will be.
They're. Just making a prediction.
Hey, that'd be interesting. Yeah, I I could see it.
Yeah, oh, I totally could. Anyway, anyway, so interestingly
for that film Jersey Girls, Ben was paid $10 million and Jen was
only paid 4 million, which I think is kind of crazy cause
even though he had an Oscar for writing, I feel like she was
still kind of the bigger star. And then that same month, OK, so
so much has happened. They begin filming a movie, they
had a music video together, and then Jen accompanied Ben to
Boston to meet his family for the first time.
And while there, Ben proposed. Oh my goodness.
Like, she's meeting his family for the first.
Wow, that's two months and they get engaged.
It is. She's still married.
Legally. She's still like.
Calm down, people. He proposed with a $2.5 million
engagement. What?
I don't know. I guess that it could be a
question for the audience, like how would you feel getting
engaged to someone who was still legally married?
That's a good question. I'd be really nervous.
Me too. I don't know.
It's way too fast. Anyways, so about the proposal
Jen gave Diane Sawyer all the juicy details and I have a clip.
For you, is Diane Sawyer creepy in it?
Not really. OK, this is the video you sent
me. You know, took me back to his
house, his, the house he grew up in.
And it was really funny because I was like, you know, you know,
I really want his family to like me and everything.
And I had met them and, you know, we're all getting to know
each other. So I wasn't sure.
I'm like, I don't know if they like me.
He's like, you're crazy. I'm like, no, my family loves
you. And I don't know, you know what
I mean? And he's like, he's like, he's
like, you're insane. So we go back and we're supposed
to just basically spend the weekend with his family.
And then when we got there and we go to walk into the house, we
drive there. And he was like, a little
nervous. But I didn't, I didn't know why.
And he kept calling and saying, you know, things like, you know,
like, you know how much I love you and you know, how much I
want to spend my life with, you know, all this stuff.
And I'm like, yeah, look, it was a little bit too much during the
day. And I was just like, what is
going on, you know? And then finally we get to the
house and we walk in, oh, that was nothing.
He kept saying how to the house. It's going to be a mess.
And they'll probably have pizza there for us.
And I'm like, stop it already. It's fine.
It's enough. What are you explaining?
Like you don't have to explain those things to me.
I grew up just like you did. It's fine, you know?
So we walk up to the the house and I see like, little candles
up the stairs. And I'm like, oh, look how cute.
His mom must have heard that I like candles or something from
the tabloids, you know what I mean?
So she put them up the stairs. And that's sweet.
And he opens the door and it is just a blanket, a quilt of rose
petals all over the whole entire house and just everything was
just so, so many candles and bosses with bouquets.
And and my song GLAAD was playing and I walk in and I'm
just like overwhelmed, like I wasn't expecting and I was just
like, Oh my God. And then I kept thinking I was
like, how did he do this? Because we were in Philadelphia
working. And I was like, who did this?
And he was like my mom, help me do it.
And I just start, Oh my God. I was like, Oh my God.
And it was just the most it was the best day of my life.
Did he know what you'd say? I'm sure, yeah.
Well, it was funny because, you know, he had written this
letter, which he says was really too long.
He didn't realize how long until he started reading it and I was
crying, you know, and he's reading it, reading it, telling
me all the stuff that he wanted to tell me.
As you know, I guess he proposed at the end.
He was, he just said, will you marry me?
And I was just like, and he, he had the ring out.
But I didn't want to look at the ring, 'cause I could tell it was
pink. And I was just like, oh God, it
can't be pink on top of it. I was just too much for me to
handle. I was just like, Oh my God, I
was like, can't. He was like, baby, look it.
I was like, I can't, I can't, you know?
And he was just like, look at it.
And I looked at the ring and I was like, Oh my God, it was
just, it's the most magnificent thing.
And he was like, you haven't answered me.
I was like. OK, what I wanted to say about
that clip, I don't know what you have to say.
It seems very obvious publicity that she mentions her song.
I'm glad being played during the proposal.
It's. I thought that was odd that he
would play that for their engagement.
That's. So self absorbed.
You know. But what?
What else did you think about that?
Well, it just seemed like a lot. And she herself seemed
overwhelmed and not entirely and I mean, she seemed happy.
She seems happy in that clip, but I think she could have felt
a little too overwhelmed. I am.
Maybe I'm just guessing here, but it just seemed like a lot.
And her reaction, her way of telling it was kind of like she
couldn't even look at the ring. Like, I don't know it it just, I
think it seemed like too much, too soon maybe.
A lot. It is intense too, and I feel
like if you've had two divorces with marriages that have been
like a year or less, I feel like you would be a little.
Bit more careful not to like rush into another engagement
after only a few months of knowing somebody.
It's really romantic on his part and it does sound really
thoughtful and beautiful and how he wrote pages like I think in a
different situation I would think, Oh my gosh, that's
amazing. But I am also wondering like
what is he going through his head like?
You know she's not even legally divorced yet.
Why is he washing into this? Like what is happening?
I know. How do you even know each other
well enough to write pages and pages?
Yeah, I don't know. I guess you could I I guess I
can kind of get it, but. Some people really dive right
in, like All in all or nothing, but I feel like that usually
burns out super quickly, that approach.
Yeah, because you definitely have a lot of built up ideas
about what this is and what it's going to be.
And it yeah, it's it's extra crushing when something that
exciting and passionate doesn't turn out to be what you thought,
you know, it's I think it's better to enter like a little
bit, a little bit flow. Like, it's nice to be excited,
but don't be like that crazy. Oh my God.
But OK like I said, November big month.
Like they start shooting a movie, they get engaged.
She does this whole Diane Sawyer interview.
Remember, they had a music video together and now she has an
album drop. The same.
Month. Like that's what they saw.
Like Ariana Grande. Yeah, and like, like, I said,
like, she's mentioned, like how her song, I'm Glad was playing.
That's a song on her new album. That's all kind of makes you
think. And this new album, it did drop
at #1. So it's like, wow, is the hype
about their relationship helping.
Of course it is, you know? Yeah, definitely.
And the album, no question. And the album includes a song
called Dear Ben. That is so similar.
Isn't. It Rihanna.
What? I know, 'cause it's weird.
Who knows if it was even really written when they were together.
Originally it was titled Perfect.
It's a very sexy song. I'll read you something.
Yeah, it's just changed the title exactly because other than
that, it's pretty generic, she says.
I just can't control myself. I can't be with no one else.
It seems I'm addicted to the way you like to touch me.
I don't think they can understand why I love you.
At your command. From the words you speak so
deep. Our bodies.
Me. I have to have you.
I love you. You're perfect and manifestation
of my dreams. You make my body feel about a
million different things. Yeah, that could be about
anybody. Exactly.
Then it's Marge, and Ben was interviewed by Vanity Fair and
he opened up about the relationship.
He said. Jennifer is a really wonderful,
fabulous woman, smart and interesting.
Spending time with her makes me a better person and a happier
person. She impresses me every day.
It feels better to be. It feels better to be.
It feels better to me to be with her than without her.
Yeah, no shit should if you're engaged.
I would hope so. Yeah, he also added.
Jenna and I want to get married for the reason everyone else
does. We fell in love.
I'm in love. I want to have a family and
she's the only person I've ever met who made me entertain the
thought of doing that and about the public's obsession.
He said he didn't really understand it, but added I think
it has to do with race and class.
The fact that I'm white and she's Puerto Rican, that's
what's underneath, although nobody says it because it's not
politically correct. That's funny.
I feel like that's changed so much now.
I know. I feel like that definitely
could be a big part of it. But I did think that that was a
sweet thing in that clip when she said he was acting like he
was embarrassed by his house or something.
That would be messy. And she said, like, I grew up
the same as you. I didn't think that was sweet.
Yeah, I mean they they both grew up with a school teacher, Mom, I
mean, and Ben. Ben, I guess his dad was like
out of the picture, but I think his mom was very hands on and I
feel like they actually have kind of similar upbringings.
So that's that's nice. Yeah.
Even though they both seem really indulgent in, Oh yeah,
glitz and glamour and everything, it seems like they
still appreciate that they both understand growing up, you know,
more working class and normal. So that's cool.
That's so true. Yeah, they both do, I think have
a lot of pride for where they came from, which is sweet.
That's true. They definitely do.
He these days especially, is really Hemming it up with the
Boston stuff. Yeah, it's so funny, 'cause it's
like, how often is he even in Massachusetts?
He's like so heavy on Boston. But he lives in LA, Yeah.
What? He also addressed how the media
betrays her as overly sexed. And given her past two
marriages, they kind of, you know, I mean, I I'm, I'm doing
it too. Like, OK, Like she needs to slow
it down. But he said Jen has had fewer
boyfriends than the average high school junior.
Which, first of all, no, she hasn't The average, the average
high school junior has had zero to 1.
Like maybe two, maybe 2. Even if the average junior has
had a couple of relationships, they weren't like meaningful or.
Yeah, that's so different. Yeah, she's had marriages,
marriages. I think she's more experienced
than a 16 year old. Lisa juniors out of this.
Yeah, she says. She's had a much simpler, more
easily explainable, more clean romantic history than I have.
She can tell the whole story in 15 minutes, whereas I always
preface the whole story with it was complicated.
There's a kind of language that's used about her, the spicy
Latina, the temptatious diva. She's a deeply misunderstood
woman in my opinion. Well, I like that he's sticking
up for her. Me too.
I think that's nice. I do think she is very
monogamous. When she's in, she's all in, so.
That's good. But I don't necessarily think
the same applies for him. I think I see what he's saying
about it was complicated, like I don't know how much of A
committed partner he has. I don't think he's a good track
record for that. So then the two began the press
tour for their film Geely, which included very flirty joint
interviews where they mostly talked about their relationship
more than the actual movie, and they gushed a lot about each
other. They had a lot of, like, banter,
especially about if they were going to raise their children as
Red Sox fans or Yankees fans, you know, given that rivalry.
Jen also said that she was planning to take Ben's last name
and they did a very romantic joint interview on Dateline
together that aired. However, hours later it was
reported that Ben was seen partying at a Vancouver strip
club with Christian Slater and Tara Reid after a day of
shooting their film Paycheck together.
Oh. My gosh.
And Jennifer's spokesperson said that she was aware that he was
going to a strip club and that she had no problem with it.
This recently came up with my boyfriend, 'cause he was going
on a bachelor trip. He was like talking about before
on bachelor trips. They would like go to strip
clubs and I was like, I am fine with him going, but I was like
no lap dances, you cannot touch them whatsoever, yeah.
I mean, I believe that she knew and was OK with it.
Me too. But I don't know if she was OK
with him going to a backroom with four of the dancers to a
private booth. You just saved this piece of
information. And then, according to
witnesses, reportedly having a sexual encounter in performing
sexual acts with one of the dancers.
What? What about all the roses and the
candles? I know.
And then the next day there are reports that Jennifer is seen
without her engagement ring. Not good.
Trouble in paradise. So then August, more trouble.
There's film. Geely comes out and it is met
with terrible reviews. Absolutely terrible.
This is like a historically bad film.
It received a 6% score on Rotten Tomatoes and it was criticized
for the clumsy plot, the disorganization, and the lack of
on screen chemistry between Ben and Jennifer.
Crazy film critic Richard Roper said that the film was a
disaster and declared it one of the worst films he had ever seen
in his whole life. Now I'm.
Curious. I know.
Me too. And to this day, it's actually
considered one of the most embarrassing flops of all time.
The film had a budget of $75 million and it only grossed a
little bit more than $3,000,000 in its opening week opening at
#8 at the box office. Just crazy because these two are
like the hottest couple in the second week.
The studio decided it was a lost cause and pulled all ads for the
movie. And then it broke the record for
the largest second week drop in history with the 81.9% reduction
in ticket sales. I don't know.
I that pains me. I hate to hear flop stories like
that. Failure.
Story and the third week, only 73 theaters in the whole world
were still showing the film, and by the 4th week it was already
withdrawn from theaters, which was like the fastest like run
for a movie of that high of a budget.
Wow. Felt like a roller coaster.
It's awful. It's like in the film cost.
Sony Pictures $42 million that quarter.
Wow. And lost revenue.
This is such a roller coaster. They were up, up on such a high
and then I know now we're down. Yeah, we're really down.
Jen described this at the as the lowest time in her whole life.
Oh my gosh, that they were both incredibly humiliated.
OK, what? I know.
That's not that low. I kind of feel like the flop was
a turning point for them as a couple and their public image
because they were so overexposed and I think people were starting
to get very annoyed with them. I can understand that.
Yeah, and I think that affected their relationship.
We said they're very self absorbed.
I think if people stopped liking them, they stopped liking
themselves. Yeah, they might start looking
at the other and thinking, you know, this isn't working.
People don't like me with you exactly.
Maybe I don't want to be with you anymore.
They're not willing to risk it all for each other.
And I honestly think that, like, that is why they're together
now. I mean, I haven't covered them
in the future yet, but I feel like they're together to like,
reignite their careers. I think so too.
Or at least the feelings that they had back then when they
were rising. Exactly.
So in September, they had announced that they were
postponing their wedding, which was supposed to take place that
month. Uh oh, in Santa Barbara.
Apparently, all 400 invited guests received a phone call
four days before the wedding that they were they were
basically told not to show up. Four days before Wow.
Yeah, I mean, that's like. They probably already had
hotels, would it? Yeah.
I mean, I think there's a lot of thing though.
A lot of flights were booked. Yeah.
Yeah, I imagine cancelling a wedding is like, the biggest Oh
my God. It must be so stressful, but I
think if anyone is thinking about cancelling their wedding,
you should just do it because you don't want to get married.
Just because I feel like that happens.
People say no, but everybody's already coming.
And all these plans, I don't have to do it.
Don't do it. I know.
I Oh my gosh, I imagine that's so tough.
But yeah, I think it's worse to get divorced like only a few
months later, and then to have had this memory of getting
married. They released a statement to
PEOPLE. They said due to the excessive
media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to
postpone the date. When we found ourselves
seriously contemplating hiring 3 separate decoy brides at three
different locations, we realized that something was awry.
We began to feel the spirit of what should have been the
happiest days of our lives could be compromised.
We felt that we should have. What should We felt that what
should have been a joyful and sacred day could be spoiled for
us, our families and our friends?
I don't know if this is cynical of me, but I don't believe that.
I don't believe it either, and a lot of people didn't like.
It's a good excuse, but I don't know.
Cancel. It, yeah, I don't know.
It's it reminds me of Megan and Harry when they were saying that
the paparazzi were chasing us all over the city.
Yeah. And then paparazzi were like,
no, we weren't. And there was no evidence of
that. And to me, it sounds like
they're trying to make it sound like people are so obsessed with
them. That's the reason why they
cancelled it. I know.
So, like tabloids begin speculating why they cancelled.
Apparently there were rumors that the couple got an argument
on that Monday before, which was apparently two days after Ben
had been seen at the at a casino in California, where he
reportedly spent the whole evening at a $10,000 minimum
table playing poker minimum. So you're at the bet that
existed. I know.
Me neither. You're to bet a minimum of
$10,000. Oh my gosh and.
Apparently he walked away empty handed and lost a lot of money,
leading people to speculate that he had a gambling problem.
I. Know, I know.
This is crazy. Maybe that was like his bachelor
party or something. But there were also rumors that
Ben's mom had urged him to call off the wedding so that he won't
have to live under the constant media scrutiny.
Weeks later, paparazzi snapped photos of Ben and Jennifer
holding hands entering a Georgia courthouse, which led people to
think that maybe they were getting married after all.
However, they reportedly were there for Ben to obtain a gun
license to go hunting. How disappointing is that?
You think you're going to get a marriage license with a man and
then they go and get a gun license instead?
Not as romantic as I thought. No.
OK, this is getting a little crazy for me.
Strip club poker, betting $10,000, getting a gun.
What is happening? Yeah.
What happened to the flowers? What happened to the letters?
Like this is too much? And over the next few months
there's a lot of confusion whether they're still together
or not. And then in January, there are
rumors that Bennifer is over when Ben attends the Sundance in
European premieres of his film Paycheck Without Jennifer, and
that she was seen partying in Miami with her ex, P Diddy
without her engagement ring on. That's kind of crazy.
I know and seems that rumors are true because Jennifer's Rep
confirms to people that they've broken up saying Jennifer Lopez
has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck.
At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy.
Wow, it seems telling that they did not release a joint
statement. That's true.
And it's very brief too. I am so struck by how similar
this is to Ariana and Pete Davidson.
I mean, it's not the exact same story, obviously, but even just
like the unhinged behavior, it's.
Yeah, wow. It seems like they were trying
to copy them like it. It does seem deliberate.
Sources close to the couple told people that Ben wasn't ready to
settle down and that Jennifer was unhappy about his partying
ways and his wandering eye. Oh yeah, And that she was afraid
of walking down the aisle to yet another divorce.
Yeah. I.
Probably. I mean, he doesn't seem very
promising. He's not giving husband
material. No, no.
Then in March, their film Jersey Girl came out, which received
pretty negative reviews. And it was not a big commercial
success, which was just a part of a series of very poorly
claimed, acclaimed movies for Ben in what was somewhat of a
downturn. So I feel like him dating Jlo
and all that overexposure led to, like, people not liking Ben.
And then he has all these, like, bad movies suddenly.
Yep, only six months later, after their breakup, Jennifer
Marries singer Marc Anthony. What, six months later?
Yes. Isn't this like 6 months?
Not just she starts dating again six months later, or she gets
engaged six months later. She is fully married six months
later. That is insane.
Yeah, I don't even know how that, like, human being is
possible. And also you're so busy working
like how do you have the? Time.
It's like some celebrities act like the life expectancy is like
still 40 or something. Chill out.
Take it slow, but I will say at least her and Marie Anthony were
married for like a while. And.
And that's where I'm gonna leave it.
I do plan to cover their relationship as it is now in the
future, but I do want to cover their relationships in between
that before I get to that time for context.
So that's fun. Yeah.
So, and I do. I want to say that I plan to
make Part 2. That will be a free episode as
well, but it will come out some point in the future.
It's not the next episode. Nice.
That's going to be so cool to do their relationships in between
And then Part 2. Wow.
Oh my gosh. Odds that they'll get back
together. I feel like at the time I would
have said low, oh like 10%. But they do get back together.
Wow. See, anything can happen.
I know. For real.
Oh my gosh. Well.
So this isn't going to be Part 2 isn't going to be next week, but
do you want to tease next week's episode?
Yeah, next week is about two musicians who were very famous
for collaborating together and they had a pretty shocking break
up I think. And yeah.
All right. Two musicians, 2 musicians.
I. This is like 20 tens, twenty
10s. OK.
Same industry of music. OK, Like same genre.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
We'll be teasing it. You guys can share your guesses.
And thanks, Mel. That was really fun.
Crazy. I thought that was going to be
like 2 hours. I can't believe it wasn't.
Thank you guys. Don't want to end it.
Yeah. Thank you guys so much and we'll
get back together next week. Bye.
Is your heart filled with pain? Shall I come back again?
Ten meeting.