Welcome to the bringing the Human Back.
To human resources. Podcast I'm Tracy Chernoff and
I've spent my entire professional career in HR.
Each week, we'll explore the delicate balance between people
and business with the aim to reconnect the two and create
meaningful outcomes. Listen in as I share my own
experiences, challenge the status quo, and chat with guests
from various industries about our mission to bring the human
back to human resources. Hello everyone, Welcome back.
To the Bringing the Human Back to Human Resources podcast.
It is my first episode back since maternity leave and I
haven't done this in, Oh my gosh, I don't know, at least
seven or eight months because I basically did all of the
recordings for the podcast for a while.
I was out through the summer, so I don't know.
Hopefully I can remember how to podcast and know where to look
for those of you who watched the video, and hopefully my
microphone is working well and everything else.
So anyway, I guess the first thing, first thing's first, I'm
back from maternity leave. I'm actually recording this
episode one month to the day from my return to work, so I
have a lot to catch up with you on, but I do want to do some
housekeeping One you might hear my daughters in the background.
It's just my new reality and hopefully I've been able to
curate a an environment at least for podcasting that is as least
distracting as possible or as little distract has as few
distractions. There we go as possible.
And if there is some background noise like toys or pianos or
music or babies crying or screaming or laughing, I do
apologize in advance. We are going to work to edit
that out if possible. But you know, this is just
reality, so let me catch you up in case you don't follow me on
Instagram. I had two daughters, they're
twins. We actually found out that they
are identical, which is really exciting and they are now almost
six months old. They're like 5 1/2 months old at
the time of this recording. I'm not trying to rush time,
just trying to accurately describe their age.
I was out on maternity leave from the end of October until
the middle of March, and it was a great amount of time for me.
I felt totally ready to come back.
But also, you know, equal parts like sad that it was over.
But I have a lot to kind of talk about through that return from
leave with all of you. But just to quickly see, I think
there might be a baby in the background there.
Just before I go into that topic, I do also want to say
that I know that there have been some replay episodes throughout
these last few months and you know maybe you have been totally
craving a new and fresh episode. So I get that you can expect
that they all of these episodes that will be up and coming with
the exception of a few because of course I had some scheduled
already. Most, I would say 98% of them
are fresh recordings. So hopefully you're really
excited about that. I know I am.
I know my guests are really excited to join.
And then thinking about the podcast, I mean right now I do
plan to have an episode every week.
It is, of course, a lot of work to work full time and be a mom
to two kids and a wife and just a person in general, like
outside of those things. So right now my goal is to
continue with one episode a week.
I think realistically there might be some months or even a
part of the year where I say, you know what, I can't do an
episode every week. I need to do every other week.
So we'll see. All I ask is for your patience
and for you to maybe just go along for this ride with me as
you always have, if you've been here from the beginning, so that
I can kind of learn what works for me as we go along.
But I definitely, definitely, I'm keeping up with the podcast.
It's a very important part of my life and how I see my career.
So I'm just excited to kind of get back into it, you know?
So that being said, I do want to share with you what some
reflections are that I have from being out of maternity leave and
coming back to work. And with all of that, I also
encourage you to follow me on Instagram.
While I'm not necessarily the most active on stories, as maybe
other people in this, you know, podcasting world or realm, it's
where I tend to be able to interact with you the most
directly. And you can visit my website at
hrtracy.com for tons of information and blogs and
newsletters and everything like that.
So without further ado, let's jump into what my takeaways are
from being back for maternity leave.
OK, so my first take away from maternity leave is that I I
think the one of the the best things that I did was prepare
while I was out on leave for my return because it was always the
plan for me to return. I'm, you know, I'm obviously
very driven by my career. I have this podcast.
I love my career in HRI, love what I do.
I love where I work and with whom I work.
And the first episode of 2024 was with Laurie Mihalik Levin
and we talked about the Mindful Return.
And she of course knew at that time that I was pregnant.
And I shared that obviously in the episode as well.
But we were talking. We recorded that podcast
episode. I want to say maybe in August,
July, August or September and maybe even a little bit earlier.
Anyway, not the point. She and I were talking about how
important it is to be prepared when you come back from a
maternity leave, paternity leave, whatever it is.
And I took her mindful return course in January.
So at that point I was two months postpartum, almost three,
and I was I I took the course throughout.
I think it was like a six week course if I'm remembering
correctly. And it really allowed me to
think about what I would kind of prepare for as I was returning
from leave, whether it was setting boundaries, what my
schedule was going to look like. Would there be any changes to my
schedule, changes to the way that I needed to work And
especially being a remote employee, of course, I have
innate flexibility already, but there are elements of my job
that sometimes do require me to color outside of the lines
within, you know, a daily schedule, let's say.
And so it really, that course really allowed me to think about
what I needed, which for those of you who have been here for a
while, you you've heard me talk about myself in the way that,
you know, sometimes I just am very quick to action and I don't
necessarily like fully think through all of the implications
of what I do for myself. And so that was a really
important exercise and very impactful exercise for me
because it slowed me down and anything that slows me down is
usually going to get the best and most thoughtful interaction
from me. So, you know, personally that
was really important because I don't know that I would have
really thought about what the differences would have been or
what I needed that might have been different from when I was
working prior to my maternity leave.
So that was really helpful. And Lori is awesome and her book
is great. And if you haven't listened to
that episode, it was the, I think it was the the first
episode of 2024, it was the first or second.
Definitely have a listen to it because we kind of walk through
the mindful return theory and her book and how you can have a
successful return from leave because it is a major
transition. I mean everyone would ask me
kind of leading up to returning like Are you ready, how do you
feel? And then even now being back one
entire month, I'm, I've been asked by my supervisor,
colleagues, etcetera, how has it been, how has the transition
been? And so certainly it is a
transition for me. I think that preparation was
key. The 2nd take away that I have
from maternity leave is kind of lending to this idea around the
transition that you are a different person.
When you come back, as much as you are the same, you also are
different because you might, they're a major life event and
you had a child, in my case two children, and there's just a lot
that changes when your responsibilities change and when
your priorities change. And for me, although my my work
is absolutely my, absolutely my priority, you know, if one of my
children is sick or, you know, our nanny isn't able to come to
work, right? Like that changes the way that I
am able, God forbid, on all those fronts, right?
Like, 'cause we don't want that to happen, but inevitably things
happen and I need to be able to be agile and shift and balancing
those priorities that are really important.
Life at home and life at work. It it can be challenging and
it's something that you do have to kind of think about.
And so my take away with the transition in coming back to
work is that I was and still am excited to be back at work.
And I do think that that's in part because I love what I do
and where I work and with whom I work.
Also because I was prepared for it.
And then thirdly, I think because I work remotely and
because I feel some agency over my schedule, I didn't
necessarily feel that the transition was so difficult or
complex or frustrating. And I really think that the
emphasis is on the preparation and being remote, because I
don't know that I would be having the same conversation
with all of you if I worked in an office.
I've said it ad nauseam on my podcast that I will only ever
look for remote work if ever I was not where I am today.
And for anyone that I work with, don't worry.
I love being where I am and I have no intention of leaving.
But obviously, like just generally speaking if if I were
ever to be in search for a job, it would never be looking for an
office based role. Because now being a mom, seeing
the flexibility and what that affords me as a parent that now
it went from being like the most important thing to the tippy top
most important thing, I would take a pay cut to keep that my
reality. So and I feel like I've probably
said that before being a parent too.
So maybe not much has changed on that front, but regardless, like
you really do change. And for me again, that
transition really didn't feel so complicated and I feel grateful
for that. I mean, I'm very fortunate that
we're able to have someone come in for daycare basically and and
caregiving for my daughters rather than needing to send them
out of my home. I think that's 1A privilege that
I have from working remotely and to a privilege that I have just
from a financial perspective because childcare is really
expensive. And I'm sure that there are
listeners out there who either have not returned from maternity
leave or don't plan to because of the cost of childcare.
And two, maybe are returning to the job force because they left
in order to be the the primary caregiver in their homes because
of the cost of childcare. And it is so expensive,
especially in New York and New Jersey.
It's crazy and I think it's probably just expensive
everywhere, but I mean for two kids it is kind of comparable
like daycare and having someone come in and and be with them.
But regardless, like that is a a major factor for many parents,
especially women. And I think we kind of talked
about that in the episode Lori and I that, you know, not
everyone is able to go back to work because the cost of of
childcare is more expensive than what they receive monthly from
their job. So it's just that it's a lot for
people to have to think about. And fortunately for me, I was
able to and we were able to my husband and I make it work so
that I could come back to work and so that we could have
someone in our home while, you know, while I am working and
that, you know, I it's not lost on me that COVID did have this
or create this opportunity for me.
I don't know that I would be remote or be in this situation
today had it not been for that, you know, every everyone kind of
challenging the status quo, so to speak and moving remotely.
Although I work for a tech company and they've always been
remote, who knows where things would have landed me if if COVID
didn't happen. Like would I still be in retail,
would I still be in fashion? Would I be in tech?
Who knows. I always ask.
I always like think about those things.
Like, what if things happen differently?
What would I be doing now? And I really, frankly, I I don't
know that I would return to work if I wasn't remote.
It's really hard. It's really hard to, especially
in the US where I mean fortunately in New York you get,
you know, a really nice amount of time.
But in the US you're in some states don't get any paid time.
It's just, you know, FMLA, 12 weeks hopefully, if you qualify
and you know that's that. So for me, fortunately, I had
almost five months, but it was hard.
Even though I'm right here and my children are literally, I
don't know, 15 feet away, it's hard to realize that you are
inevitably not spending that same amount of time with them.
And whether you want to be a full time, you know, caretaker
or you know, home taker or not, it is still difficult to, you
know, be a a hands on parent and walk or not walk away but step
into work and change the amount of time that you're spending
with your kids. So I mean, I feel good.
Like I feel happy that they're right here.
And when I'm in between meetings, I can kind of step
away and just, you know, pop over and like, I don't know,
cuddle them for like a moment before I go into my next meeting
or get back into whatever project I'm working on.
And that's obviously, again, not lost on me, that I have that
opportunity. And I'm sure that many people
feel that same way. And that I know that there are
many people who really look forward to leaving the house
when they return from maternity leave because it gives them kind
of like another refreshed or renewed sense of self because
your sense of self also changes when you become a parent.
At least it did for me, I think probably for most people.
Because you're no longer just thinking of yourself, you're now
thinking of your children. So it's just a really
interesting change and I'm really grateful for it.
I love being a parent and a mom and I love being a working
parent or working mom and obviously all moms are working
at some level. But I guess I should say a mom
in the quote, UN quote, typical workforce.
Because being a stay at home mom is definitely a job.
Like when I was on maternity leave, it was work, hard work,
especially with two at the same, you know, stage of development
and the same age. So the third take away that I
have is that you really benefit from returning from maternity
leave or leave in general when you have an amazing supervisor
and peers that you enjoy working with.
That was probably the biggest take away that I had kind of
like learned and appreciated outside of the other two of
course. But really, the the thing that
stuck out to me most was that, oh wow, I'm not stressed or
unhappy about returning because I'm looking forward to working
with my peers and I'm looking forward to working with and for
my boss. And I'm very, very fortunate for
that. I know so many people who
dreaded returning from maternity leave because they either don't
like their leaders or they don't like who they work with.
And that is just not what the case was for me.
And I'm very. I feel very lucky that I have a
boss that I really admire and look up to and enjoy working
with, and that I have colleagues that I can say the same thing
about, that I really enjoy working with, that I love
learning from, that. I love just chatting with and
all those. That is, I don't know why.
It's not something that occurred to me.
I guess I when I was out on maternity leave, I was only
thinking about preparing for the stuff that I could control.
And then I was like, oh wait, I'm really looking forward to
returning. Why is that?
And introspectively I had, you know, spent this time thinking
about why. Why was I excited to go back to
work? Not like, why am I feeling this
way? But also it it, or I should say
it wasn't coming from this place of like, why do I feel this way?
It was coming from a place of why is that?
Why am I so excited? And why aren't other people more
excited when they want to go back to work but they're feeling
like this dread or this burden? And of course, all of those
factors that I had already mentioned have an impact on
that. But really, it's profound to me
that when you have someone that you enjoy working for and you
work with people that you like, it makes returning much, much
easier. So if you're someone that is on
maternity leave or on some sort of leave and you're dreading,
coming back or going back, maybe take that same introspective
journey. Think about why that might be.
Is it the environment? Is it your boss?
Is it that you need to change? Or is it, you know, the other
stuff that you really don't want to go back and that you have to
go back? Because certainly that is the
case for many too, that financially you can't make the
decision to stay at home even though you really want to.
In which case I'm like, well, can you figure it out?
Can you? Because I never want anyone to
feel like they're robbed of an experience that they really
want. Like if someone really wants to
be a stay at home mom or a stay at home dad or stay at home
parent, whatever, you know, is there a way that they can make
that work? And if not, like, I don't know,
maybe there's just a way. Maybe it's like going into
consulting. Maybe it's doing freelance work.
I don't know. Get creative with it.
Don't find yourself in this position where you're going to
regret that you did or didn't do something.
So anyway, those were my takeaways.
I actually shared this on LinkedIn also because when I
came back, I felt really inspired to just write
something. It was short, it was sweet,
hopefully, and I feel good about putting it out there because now
when I go back to it, I'm like, yeah, I did feel all of these
things. And then of course, I'm sharing.
Those feelings with you on the podcast today, but in the end, I
hope that as I continue on my my journey as a a mom that works in
the typical, you know, workforce, I hope that I
continue to feel these takeaways resonating throughout my work
day and work week. And I hope that I keep this as a
reminder that there's so much to really be grateful for and
thankful for in in not only our careers and our experiences
becoming parents. If those of you, you know,
either are trying to become parents or are parents already
or want to be, there's so much to really be thankful for.
And whether it's difficult or not, and it's always difficult
to be responsible for a living, breathing human being.
But yeah, those are those are the things that I top of mind,
wanted to share with all of you. And when I think about the
podcast going forward, I know I already shared how things might
be a little bit more fluid or flexible.
I also want to mention that you know my my episodes going
forward are going to have more fresh, amazing new guests and
maybe some revisits from some fan favorites, so to speak from
the past few years. This is we're going on to the
4th year of this podcast. I just cannot believe it.
I really appreciate that you're all here for the journey, that
you were patient with me as I was out on leave and taking a
creative liberty to my podcast and doing a replay series and
things like that and spreading the episodes out across my
maternity leave. But I'm really excited to be
back. I highly, highly suggest that
you follow me on Instagram, connect with me on LinkedIn,
head to my website, hrtracy.com. I am still doing career coaching
and resume and interview preparation, formatting, et
cetera, et cetera. So if those are things that
you're interested in and want to learn more about, head to my
website. Also, don't forget to rate,
review and subscribe wherever you're catching this episode.
And if you're watching this video on YouTube or Spotify,
make sure you interact with the Q&A or give the video a thumbs
up if you're on YouTube. Thank you so much for again for
being here and I'll see you next week.
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