1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,480 Welcome to the Bringing the Human Back to Human Resources 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,800 podcast. I'm Tracy Chernoff, and I've 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,240 spent my entire professional career in HR. 4 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,840 Each week, we'll explore the delicate balance between people 5 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,840 and business with the aim to reconnect the two and create 6 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,720 meaningful outcomes. Listen in as I share my own 7 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,560 experiences, challenge the status quo, and chat with guests 8 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,560 from various industries about our mission to bring the human 9 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,240 back to human resources. Hi everyone, welcome back to the 10 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:28,240 Bringing the Human Back to Human Resources podcast. 11 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,640 Thank you so much for being here for another week. 12 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,600 We are back on the subject of working parents. 13 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,080 And so if you are not a parent yet, don't worry, that is OK, 14 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,840 because you might want to know why you should hire them. 15 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,880 And so we're going to talk a lot about that, but before we get 16 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,200 into the subject for this week, I'm going to introduce you to 17 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,480 our guest, Kelly McGinnis, who has a passion for helping 18 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:54,040 families, specifically moms. She's spent the last 20 years 19 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,720 educating, encouraging and empowering families to be their 20 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,960 best selves and trust their strengths. 21 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,000 She's a certified Gottman educator, emotion coach and 22 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,680 certified incredible family positive parents strengths 23 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,680 coach. She has a passion for supporting 24 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,480 parents, coaches and families through the various transitions 25 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,560 that take place along the parenting journey. 26 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,520 She's also one the founders and CEO of Incredible Family, an 27 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,480 organization committed to unleashing potential in working 28 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,880 parents and families through developing strengths. 29 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,200 Kelly, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for being 30 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,360 here. Oh, thanks Tracy for having me. 31 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:29,280 I'm so excited to talk about working parents today. 32 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,440 Yeah, me too. And I think maybe we we can 33 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:38,520 start at the top, which is maybe why you're so interested in and 34 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,920 passionate about working parents and all that they bring to a 35 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:48,160 business or to an organization. Yeah, So that the answer to that 36 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,160 question stems back to when I became a mom. 37 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,560 So I have three teenage daughters. 38 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,760 My oldest is going to be 18 this Friday, actually Saturday. 39 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:05,120 I know it was so exciting. And then I have a 17 year old 40 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,480 and a 15 year old, all three girls. 41 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,760 And so my entrance into motherhood was a very abrupt, 42 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,080 like, holy smokes, hold on for dear life, here we go. 43 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,640 And in that transition, I learned a lot about myself 44 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:27,680 personally, myself professionally, and I was 45 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,840 challenged in ways that I did not anticipate happening. 46 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:40,960 And so that lit a fire in me to partner with other moms, other 47 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,800 working parents that maybe felt the same, similar. 48 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:49,000 Like, Oh my gosh, what did I get myself into that pressure to 49 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,360 have to choose? Like I really want to be a good 50 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:58,200 mom, but I also want to be a great leader in my company. 51 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,840 Can I do both of those simultaneously at the same time? 52 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:08,480 And for a while there, it was rocky from from my entrance into 53 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:14,360 motherhood until I decided, you know what, I'm going to lean 54 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,600 into this. I'm going to learn more. 55 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:21,400 I'm going to build an amazing toolbox that are based on who I 56 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,840 am and what my strengths are. And So what I learned is that we 57 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,880 can bring out our full potential. 58 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,560 We don't have to feel that pressure to choose one or the 59 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,040 other. Yeah, totally. 60 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,280 That's fair. And I. 61 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:39,520 Appreciate you saying that. Because I also am a working mom, 62 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,080 as you know, as the listeners know at this point. 63 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:48,920 And it is a really hard kind of crossroads to come to when 64 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:52,480 you're like, oh, can I do both? Because I want to do both. 65 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:57,440 And how do I do that? And you know, it's we all 66 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,600 always, well, maybe don't, we don't all. 67 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,560 But I always hear, you know, conversations around the mental 68 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,880 load and how women generally are the ones kind of carrying the 69 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,040 torch at home. And then they have these, you 70 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,120 know, work obligations. And we don't really live in a 71 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,800 society that a can, generally speaking, support single income 72 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,120 families anymore. And aside from that, there are 73 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,720 women who obviously want to maintain their careers. 74 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,480 And there are all of these studies that show when women do 75 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,400 leave the workforce, and they often are the ones to leave the 76 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,040 workforce to child rear or bring up their families, that that 77 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:42,080 then has not necessarily significant, but significant, 78 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,400 but some impact on their future careers when they either want to 79 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,280 get back into whatever career they were in before and how all 80 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,960 of that works. Because at that point, they've 81 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,520 obviously been out of the industry that they were in. 82 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:59,720 They've potentially lost some of the traction that obviously you 83 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,440 gain when you're in it, so to speak. 84 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,440 There was a whole show on this called Younger, which I loved. 85 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,960 I loved the show. I don't know if you watched it. 86 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,440 It's a great show. I can't remember. 87 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,440 Maybe it's on Hulu. Great show. 88 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:15,080 And it's, it's all about how this woman left the workforce. 89 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:20,600 She was in a, she was an editor for, you know, books like a, an 90 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:25,240 editor at a publishing company. And she left in order to to 91 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,680 raise her family. And then she went back and she 92 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,680 had to pose as a 20 something just in order to get a job, 93 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,240 obviously in the show. And so it kind of is a play on 94 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:40,320 and a mirror into or a window I should say, into what can 95 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,040 sometimes happen when someone feels that they have to pick one 96 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,360 over the other. You know, it's interesting 97 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:49,200 we've, you know, I've used this phrase motherhood penalty and it 98 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:54,680 really is when you unpack all the realities that happen at the 99 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:59,120 same time that we are biologically like ready to have 100 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,000 kids. You mentioned a few of them, but 101 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,240 there's a couple more. Like you mentioned the fact that 102 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,000 often times when we're ready to have kids, it's in a crucial 103 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:14,400 scalable part of our career. So those two are in opposition 104 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:18,080 already. You mentioned the need to have 105 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,160 dual incomes. That's increasingly becoming 106 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:26,320 more of a like a thing in houses across America. 107 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,560 Another thing is that the school day, I know you have littles, 108 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,560 but you know, get ready for this. 109 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,960 The school day doesn't align with the work day. 110 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,480 So like kids need to be at school. 111 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,000 I don't know why they come up with this like 8:30. 112 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:45,280 Well, that is really problematic for a lot of people. 113 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,760 And they get out at 2:15 or 2:30. 114 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,240 Well, the work day doesn't finish until 5:00. 115 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,640 And so there's a misalignment there as well. 116 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:59,880 And so it just continues to add on to we're already behind the 117 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,880 game if you just look at the facts of like entering the 118 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:09,920 motherhood space. So I kind of wanted to shift the 119 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,400 perspective because it's already, the odds are already 120 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:18,760 stacked against us. So what, what could we do to 121 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,680 kind of flip the script and think about it differently so 122 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:29,080 that it's not all these negative things, but it's more how can we 123 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:33,960 do both in a really, really positive way? 124 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,720 Right. And yeah, all of that is a great 125 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,760 point about the school. I didn't even think about that 126 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,280 because as you mentioned, I have little. 127 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,720 Not yet. Yep, not not school aged yet, 128 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,280 right. But all of that to say, I mean, 129 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:53,400 I'm curious in in the work that you've done, what you've seen in 130 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,600 terms of like, what works, like how, how do we shift the 131 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:02,800 narrative and how do we help parents become maybe not more 132 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,960 successful, but maybe happier in the workplace? 133 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,520 Because it is really hard. I can only speak from my own 134 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,440 experience. It's hard to find the same 135 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:15,120 satisfaction at work as a working parent sometimes as 136 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,840 maybe I once had, not because I'd rather be with my kids all 137 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,000 the time or because I, I feel, you know, my work is different. 138 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,320 I think it's kind of just everything that it's like you 139 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,360 have so much more on your plate and then as you increase in your 140 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,520 tenure or your scope, you have so much more on your plate. 141 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,919 And then it's like, well, how much more can my plate take? 142 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,480 And so sometimes that's the the thing and sometimes it is that 143 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,480 someone doesn't want to work, but they have to because of 144 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,480 these, you know, economic factors. 145 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:51,840 So I'm curious what generally you see with your clients and in 146 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,320 terms of what works. So it's interesting, two things 147 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,200 that you just mentioned that are really important to kind of 148 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,840 touch on. One thing is this idea that we 149 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,760 don't want to get stuck in the hard. 150 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:11,000 And I don't want parents or employers or anyone out there to 151 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,480 get stuck in the hard. I want you to know that there's 152 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,920 hope in there. There's a way forward, whatever 153 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:20,800 your situation might be. And one of the reasons we get 154 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,120 stuck in the hard is the way that our brain is hard wired. 155 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:29,120 We're we are hard wired as humans to focus on negativity. 156 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,520 Our brains are designed to kind of create this like security 157 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,840 system for us and give us these alerts like whoa, warning, 158 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,720 warning. This is not good. 159 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,000 And what we do in that moment is we focus on it more. 160 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:47,800 We try to fix it. We try to diminish it, whatever 161 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:52,440 our coping strategies are, we only see the hard. 162 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,680 And so in order to break that negativity cycle, we have to do 163 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:02,120 something different. And that's where what I have 164 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:06,160 found really works is shifting to more of a strengths 165 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,560 philosophy and really looking at, you know what, there are a 166 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:14,160 lot of things that we have. We all have weaknesses. 167 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:19,520 There are all hard things. But when we choose to find our 168 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:23,480 strengths, to learn about our strengths, to develop those, it 169 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:28,680 gives us this rush of energy that helps us push over and push 170 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:32,680 past the hard. And so that would be Part 1 of 171 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,320 the answer, Part 2 of the answer. 172 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:39,480 You mentioned happiness and it's so interesting in a lot of our 173 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,560 work that we do with organizations and the one-on-one 174 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:49,080 clients that I work with, it is a common values shared among 175 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,360 parents that that's what they want. 176 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:55,480 That's like if I asked you, Tracy, what defines being a 177 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,240 successful mom? Like, how would you define that? 178 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:05,720 That's a good question. I guess it within the scope of 179 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,880 the age of my kids today is maybe the way I'd answer this 180 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,400 verse. But as I say that, I'm also 181 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,000 zooming out a little bit, but I would say like happy, healthy 182 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,000 kids, you know, right. That is the common, Yep, those 183 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:24,520 are the common things. Like everyone I talk to their 184 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:28,240 measurement of like, am I being a successful parent? 185 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:34,520 Am I being successful in life is connected in some way to overall 186 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:39,280 happiness and well-being? And so I share with folks a 187 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:44,360 happiness curve study that was done several years ago. 188 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,960 And they measured people's happiness over the course of 189 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,240 from the age of 16 to the age of like 75. 190 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:56,040 And they plotted and I think they used over like 160 191 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,400 different countries. Like it's a global study of 192 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,120 people's happiness. And what they found is at 16, 193 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:06,120 those levels are really high. Happiness levels are high. 194 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,160 Think about like we all think back to 16. 195 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,920 I just got my license. I have some independence. 196 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,360 This is so exciting. Like I have my whole world in 197 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:18,280 front of me. And then what they found is as 198 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,680 the years went by, that happiness level decreased 199 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:25,960 significantly. And eventually you hit like this 200 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,920 rock bottom area and it starts to curve and it started to come 201 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,480 up on the back end. So I call it like EU shape 202 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,960 happiness curve. If you can envision that on 203 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,880 your, in your mind. And they, they did some research 204 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:44,560 and they're like, Oh my gosh, what causes this massive dip in 205 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,440 happiness levels? And it is twofold. 206 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:55,320 It's becoming apparent and work that caused the most impact on 207 00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:01,280 people's levels of happiness. And so when you lean into what 208 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:08,080 that what that means, it's a very simple formula where as we 209 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:14,840 get older, our goals get obstructed by certain things. 210 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,880 One of the things that obstructs our goal significantly is, 211 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,920 Tracy, you have a smile on your face. 212 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,240 Yeah, it's kids. It's kids. 213 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,920 Like, think about like your kids, you are 19 months old. 214 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,240 Like you want to work. We were just talking about this 215 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,280 before we went on the recording today. 216 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:37,120 Like I have a recording today and now I have crying kids in 217 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,240 the background that are getting ready for nap time. 218 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:44,200 That is a perfect example of what causes that dip in the 219 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,560 happiness curve is frustration. Like I really want to, I set out 220 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:53,480 to do this goal for today and my kids are obstructing that they 221 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,520 they have a different goal for today. 222 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,760 And it and when you are able to take a step back and articulate, 223 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,560 this is my goal as a working parent. 224 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,480 But then you take the perspective of your kids too, 225 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,480 and you ask what are their goals in this moment? 226 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,760 It starts to become a little bit less frustrated. 227 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,480 We reduce our emotions a little bit and we're able to move 228 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:20,120 forward with some clarity when we think about, OK, how can we 229 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,240 manage the two goals at the same time instead of it being this 230 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,480 constant conflict, frustration and a negative impact on our 231 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,240 happiness and well-being. So interesting. 232 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:37,120 It has made me wonder if you've seen any significance in terms 233 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:41,400 of the number of hours or the type of hours that a parent 234 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,560 works when they, you know, when they are trying to find that 235 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,480 balance. I ask because I have friends, 236 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:51,320 for example, who either are stay at home parents or stay at home 237 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:56,520 moms most often, or they work part time or they have their own 238 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,640 business. So it's very flexible and I'm 239 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,840 curious if, I mean, of course with the caveat being that if 240 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,440 you have your own business that's a different type of 241 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,600 stress. But do you see any significance 242 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,440 in terms of or maybe in comparison between someone who's 243 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,360 working full time and someone who's working part time? 244 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,160 Or is it all really the same that they're the goals still are 245 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,240 the same? So it's the same and different. 246 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:23,280 Like bear with me. So I am the queen of dual 247 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:27,040 realities. I think that as a as humans, we 248 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,680 have a really really hard time embracing 2 concepts that are 249 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:37,480 contradictory of one another. But it is true that two things 250 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:42,240 that are contradictory can be true at the same time. 251 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:48,960 And so if that's the answer to your question is yes, it is the 252 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,520 same. Every person, every human runs 253 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,320 across like, what are my goals? And things are going to get in 254 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,800 the way of that, and that's going to cause me frustration 255 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,440 and disappointment. How do I deal with those 256 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:07,000 unpleasant feelings and, and really being intentional around 257 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,800 choosing to shift from a negativity bias standpoint to 258 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,200 replacing that with a different type of thinking. 259 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,680 And it's different because we are all different. 260 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:23,640 And So what works for you, Tracy is going to be very different 261 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,000 than what works for me because we have different strengths. 262 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,240 Our kids are different, our life stage is different. 263 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,240 We have different lived experiences, our childhoods are 264 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,960 different. And so it really truly is a dual 265 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,880 reality that it it's a yes and a no at the same time. 266 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,800 Very interesting and I love my one of my favorite and most used 267 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,000 phrases is 2 things can be true at once. 268 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,200 In fact, more things more than two things can be true at once. 269 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,520 And it's hard to reconcile for many of us, but it really is 270 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,120 true. So I appreciate that you shed 271 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,440 light on that. That, you know, someone could be 272 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,320 working part time, have the same needs and goals as someone 273 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,319 working full time and yet maybe have more balance or vice versa, 274 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:10,319 not feel as much balance because being a full time working parent 275 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:14,920 is quite the job to have. So, and it's not really the job 276 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,359 for everyone. Not everyone wants to spend all 277 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,640 of their time. You know, that's, it's funny 278 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,319 because I think it's very natural when you become a parent 279 00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:25,240 that you're like, I want to spend all of my time with my 280 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,359 kids and then you spend all of your time with your kids and 281 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,120 you're like, Oh, I need a break just like any, just like any 282 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:34,000 job, frankly. But it's it's really an 283 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,720 interesting, it's not a conundrum, but it's just an 284 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,560 interesting like reflection point. 285 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,280 I think as a newer parent I know that I'm already like almost two 286 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,200 years into this, but as a newer. Parent. 287 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,840 It's an interesting thing because I want to spend all my 288 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,240 time with my kids and I also want to work. 289 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,400 And so it's like, well, how do you balance? 290 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,520 This comes back to everything that we just talked about. 291 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,520 How do you manage to get the best of both of those things? 292 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,520 This does lead me to something that I mentioned at the top of 293 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,920 our recording, which is why people should hire working 294 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,600 parents. Because you've talked about 295 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,960 strengths a lot in terms of what you all do at your company and 296 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:16,560 how you lean into strengths when it comes to helping to shift 297 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,320 this perception, perspective, and narrative. 298 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,600 And I thought maybe it would be a good idea to also share why 299 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,000 hiring and employing working parents is such a strong 300 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,520 strategy for businesses and organizations to lean into. 301 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,160 And obviously with that, there has to be some level of support 302 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,800 for those working parents too. So maybe you can weigh on on 303 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,560 both of those things. Yeah. 304 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:43,160 So the the first part of the question is really like leaning 305 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,440 into why should I hire working parents? 306 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:53,520 Like what about being a parent adds value to the companies? 307 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:59,360 And I would say hands down its leadership strategies and 308 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:06,680 qualities because the more that I've developed my parenting 309 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,640 skills and the more that I've worked with lots of different 310 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:15,800 corporations and companies, parenting and leadership run a 311 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:21,520 very, very close parallel. And so I feel like if you want 312 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,960 to elevate leaders and if you want to develop some of those 313 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:30,240 very like valuable skills in your workplace, working parents 314 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,360 are already doing that at home and they don't even know that 315 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:37,520 they're doing it. And so it's a very easy 316 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,200 connection point for them to start to see how some of those 317 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:46,080 leadership skills are being utilized at home and then 318 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,840 implementing those in the workplace becomes just a really 319 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:54,800 good connection point. So that was Part 1 of your 320 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,080 question. Remind me of Part 2 of the 321 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,440 question. I got so excited about. 322 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,960 I, it's OK, it's OK. I was excited about the 323 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,760 leadership part and I completely forgot Part 2. 324 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:05,680 It's really. Important. 325 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,080 No, it's OK. My, my second. 326 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,920 I can't even remember that. I I can't even believe that I 327 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,560 remember the second part of my question because usually once I 328 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,280 ask it, it's it's gone out of my mind. 329 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,160 The second part is how do we best how do organizations really 330 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,400 best support their working parents? 331 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,640 I have some thoughts on this too, but I'm curious to hear. 332 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,240 Your perspective yeah, so my my answer there I love one word 333 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,960 answers and then I can elaborate on it is community. 334 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:36,520 Hands down, the best way to support working parents in your 335 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:41,960 organization is allow them time to connect with other working 336 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:49,680 parents in a community setting. I love that I, you know, it's, 337 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,360 it's interesting because it's true, A, it's true obviously, 338 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:59,440 but B, it's so it kind of feels very simple, like not in a, not 339 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,920 in A to, you know, to boil it down. 340 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:06,400 But it's like, OK, well, if you give these people resources, 341 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,800 these working parents more resources, yeah, you can do 342 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,880 that. But how do you maintain it? 343 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:14,640 Whereas when you give someone access to other working parents 344 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,520 who have, I've done it for years and years and years before them, 345 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:22,880 or who are just, you know, kind of walking into their parenthood 346 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,560 as a new parent, it could be, I see it as almost like a built in 347 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,680 mentorship. So it's really an interesting 348 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,400 response to that. And the research supports it. 349 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:39,280 Like I could show you so many different studies around like 350 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,440 how to feel, how to improve your engagement, how to improve 351 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:48,480 productivity among your employees, you know, how to 352 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,960 improve their overall well-being and happiness. 353 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:56,320 And it boils down to what we talked about multiple times 354 00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:01,720 already, this idea that we want to create a sense of belonging. 355 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:06,200 And immediately when you enter parenthood, you understand 356 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,280 without even saying a lot of words, you have an A sense of 357 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:17,080 empathy around what other parents might be facing. 358 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,840 And you feel like this sense of belonging. 359 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,800 You feel like, you know what? These people understand me and 360 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:28,560 I'm not alone. And when you feel like you have 361 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,600 that sense of belonging, you're not alone. 362 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,080 You have a support system built around you. 363 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,720 You're hearing tips and tricks and strategies and you're, 364 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:42,480 you're really developing yourself into creating your, you 365 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,360 know, developing your strengths and creating that balance, 366 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,040 focusing on what you value, increasing your happiness and 367 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,560 overall well-being that transfers. 368 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,800 So that little 40 minute group that you meet once a month has 369 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,240 this like I call it a Pebble in a pond impact. 370 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,560 So you toss a Pebble into the pond and you get all these 371 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,840 ripples out. That's what that sense of 372 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,560 community does within organizations. 373 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,960 I love that. That's a great visual too. 374 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:17,520 My, I literally just drew that image in my mind and it's, it's 375 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,120 actually really true. I mean, This is why employee 376 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:24,680 resource groups and things, you know, like what you're sharing, 377 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,040 creating these additional resources and areas of support 378 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,680 for people can have a huge impact. 379 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,960 And some of the best parts of that is that they're employee 380 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,080 driven. It doesn't have to be something 381 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:43,520 that is so, you know, taxing programmatically because when I 382 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,400 one of my initial thoughts, especially because I'm in HR and 383 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,840 it's just kind of the way that my mind works is how do you 384 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,560 support people coming back from leave? 385 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,360 Because that is I think the hardest part. 386 00:23:55,400 --> 00:24:00,320 I had a very smooth transition, which I do credit to actually a 387 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:06,400 former guest of mine, Lori Mahalik Levin, who came on the 388 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:11,480 podcast and she has this mindful return like book and process and 389 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,400 program. And I went through it and I felt 390 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,960 really prepared for coming back, which I felt like really helped. 391 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,680 However, most people don't really get that and they don't 392 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,520 get that experience. And beyond that, even if they 393 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,000 do, it's just a very difficult transition. 394 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,920 You go from being completely consumed into your child, in my 395 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:37,520 case children at once, and then you go back into work that never 396 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,560 stopped. Like it just kept going while 397 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,120 you were away. And then you have to pick up all 398 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,320 those pieces. You have to, I always joke I had 399 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,040 to learn how to speak to adults again because it just wasn't so 400 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,840 I was used to speaking to two infants, you know? 401 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,840 And so that's something in addition to your point, I'm 402 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,440 building community that I think organizations sometimes forget, 403 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,600 which is totally not. I don't think it's intentional. 404 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,520 I think it's actually symbolic of where companies tend to 405 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,400 struggle, like they tend to struggle in those transition 406 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,000 periods. Like, OK, you know that 407 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,000 someone's going to be hired and you know that once they're hired 408 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,120 they're going to need these things. 409 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:17,200 But what happens in that pre onboarding stage? 410 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,440 So it's like the same thing with parents. 411 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,120 They know, we know that people are entitled to leave depending 412 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,680 on the states that they're in and all that. 413 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,480 So we help them go out on leave and then they come back on a 414 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,480 day. What happens between those those 415 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,440 two periods? Right. 416 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,720 Yeah. Well, and you bring up a really 417 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:37,000 good point about transitions. And I wanna like empower people 418 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,360 to think about the parenting journey as a multitude of 419 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:45,320 transitions go returning to work after your your twins, you know, 420 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,640 or returning to work after that first baby. 421 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:53,520 That's the first domino in a string of dominoes when it comes 422 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,160 to transitions that parents are experiencing. 423 00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:00,760 And so how cool is it to have like some kind of framework? 424 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,160 That's why I love strengths is if you can like learn your 425 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,920 strengths early on, you continue to leverage and lean on that at 426 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,240 all the transitions. And it gives you just this 427 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,520 solid, sturdy foundation to stand on as you navigate not 428 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:21,480 just that return to work transition, but a multitude of 429 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,760 transitions. In fact, one of my like most 430 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,600 recent memorable examples with a client that I was doing a return 431 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,520 to work. She did her strengths 432 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,800 assessment. And we were talking about when 433 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,960 when we look at parenting and how to be a successful parent, 434 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,360 you need two things. You need structure. 435 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,600 Kids need structure, rules, expectations, and you need that 436 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,080 warmth. You need the tenderness part of 437 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,880 parenting. And those two in balance are 438 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,960 what creates resilient kiddos and successful parents. 439 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,840 And so we were looking at her strengths, and one of her 440 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,680 strengths was tenderness. She was like the second 441 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,840 strength. And she got really emotional on 442 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,720 the phone call. And I asked her, you know, 443 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,760 permission to like, kind of lean in and talk a little bit about 444 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,080 that. And she said, you know what, 445 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,760 Kelly? I've been working, she's a late 446 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:18,480 mom, so 20 years in my career and I've done every assessment 447 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,760 under the sun in the business world, and I've never had 448 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,880 someone acknowledge this side of me before. 449 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,560 And it's a big piece of who I am. 450 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:33,800 And so it was interesting because in her business world, 451 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:39,400 that tenderness side, the warmth that's a necessity in parenting 452 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,640 was not allowed to come up. And so we, my next question was, 453 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,720 well, So what, how could you leverage that strength that 454 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,640 you've now developed as a parent in the workplace? 455 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,080 And she goes, you know, I really want to be a mentor. 456 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,800 I would really love to create a mentor program in our company. 457 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,400 And so we talked about, you know, what, what, what would it 458 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,080 take to do that? She took some action steps and 459 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:10,080 we are still in contact today and she is really leveraging 460 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:15,840 that side that was unlocked when she became a mom and now she's 461 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:20,440 able to use it in both places and feel valued and validated. 462 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:25,240 And so it's just an example kind of of how the all these pieces 463 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,440 get put together. That's a really great example 464 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,640 and I could imagine that it helped her to find so much more 465 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,120 satisfaction in work because if something is such a big part of 466 00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:40,400 who you are and you don't get to put that on display or you don't 467 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,800 get to use it, then you are kind of leaving a part of yourself at 468 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,800 the door that doesn't feel so great. 469 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,680 So that's how that's pretty. It sounds kind of life changing. 470 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,920 Not to be like corny about it, but it sounds like, you know, it 471 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,200 sounds like that probably did really change the course of her 472 00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,480 career, probably. It did, and she was 473 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,200 contemplating leaving. And so here's this valuable 474 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:08,880 employee that has really given a lot to this organization. 475 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:12,840 The organization wasn't aware that she was even thinking about 476 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:18,480 leaving, but this one little shift created again that ripple 477 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:22,960 effect that gave a mentorship program to a company that didn't 478 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,520 have it before, gave the opportunity for people to 479 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,560 connect. And all of a sudden, 10 years 480 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,800 from today, what will that impact of that little Pebble in 481 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,800 the pond be? And so that's kind of a just a 482 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,600 neat take away for folks as they're thinking about like, 483 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,240 what are your next steps as a working parent or as a company 484 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,240 supporting working parent, as an HR leader? 485 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,000 How can you? What's your Pebble going to be? 486 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,560 I think that's a great question to leave with everyone and for 487 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,320 everyone to think about and reflect on. 488 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,120 I certainly will. And it's again, a great, a great 489 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:08,400 visual and and example for the impact that we can have on the 490 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,800 people around us and our organizations, wherever we may 491 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,600 be. So Kelly, thank you so much for 492 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,640 this discussion this today and for this week's episode and for 493 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,200 all of the insights you shared. And also ending us on that note. 494 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,160 I mean, there's no better way to close out an episode than with a 495 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,240 story like that. So with that, tell the listeners 496 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,440 where they can find you and we'll be sure to have everything 497 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,080 in the show notes as well. Yeah, for sure. 498 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,800 So incredible. Family.com is our website and 499 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,160 you can, if you're interested in unlocking your strengths, Tracy, 500 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,760 this is for you too. You can just shoot me an e-mail 501 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:47,400 and I'd love to send you over a code to take your parent 502 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,880 assessment and just start to unlock your own personal 503 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:55,440 parenting strength so that you can start to make that impact 504 00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,760 for yourself, your family, and within your organization. 505 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:05,520 So kelly@incrediblefamily.com, shoot me an e-mail and I'd be 506 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,280 happy to send you a free code. Amazing, Kelly, thank you so 507 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,440 much for offering that to everyone and for your generosity 508 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,360 and in that and also in all of the knowledge that you've 509 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,360 shared. So thank you so much. 510 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,800 Thank you. Hey, just before you go, don't 511 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,600 forget to subscribe to the show so that you are the first to 512 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,360 hear when an episode drops each week and maybe leave a five star 513 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,920 review and a comment about how much you love this episode. 514 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,720 Plus, if you have someone in mind who would really enjoy this 515 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,360 episode, make sure you share it with them. 516 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,280 Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you next week.