1 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:06,800 Welcome to the bringing the human Back To Human Resources, 2 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,200 podcast, the podcast, all about the delicate balance between 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,200 people and business. And quite literally reconnecting 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,900 the to my name is Tracy Ruben, and I've spent nearly my entire 5 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:20,500 professional career in h.r., join me as I share stories 6 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,500 opinions and words of advice with you each week. 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,900 Hey everyone. Welcome back to bringing the 8 00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:32,500 human Back To Human Resources. This is Tracy Ruben. 9 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:36,600 As you are growing to know me. I have to tell you, I'm super 10 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,700 excited about this episode and actually it's been a really 11 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:45,300 podcast heavy day for me because I actually was a guest on 12 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,800 another podcast so more to come on that. 13 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,100 If you're interested in hearing the podcast that I will be on. 14 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,600 I don't know when it will be released, but follow me on. 15 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,300 Graham and you'll hear more information there. 16 00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:01,200 So this week, I'm going to spend some time talking about feedback 17 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,000 and specifically giving feedback. 18 00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:07,600 It's a topic that a lot of people try to avoid. 19 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,100 It's something in general that a lot of people try to avoid but 20 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:14,400 it's the one thing that just can't be avoided. 21 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,500 There are a few points that I want to touch on the first is 22 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:21,100 that feedback can be way more than just giving - or 23 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:25,100 constructive feedback. It's actually something That 24 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:30,200 managers and employees should use for positive reinforcement 25 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:35,000 as well. So to give you an example in my 26 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,800 career and experience, I've had to give a whole lot of feedback 27 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:43,600 and whenever I start out or plan to give someone feedback, I 28 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,900 actually give them a verbal cue. Like hey I have some feedback 29 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:50,400 for you or would it be okay if I gave you some feedback? 30 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:57,200 And usually they immediately someone's Mind goes to the - and 31 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,400 actually so many of you reached out on Instagram when I posted 32 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,600 to my stories that I would be talking about feedback on this 33 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:09,300 episode and so much of what I received was. 34 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,700 I want to know what I'm doing wrong. 35 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:16,700 I need to know specifically what I need to do differently and 36 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:20,200 actually this is exactly my point that feedback isn't always 37 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,900 - it's not always constructive and I encourage you if you're a 38 00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:27,700 manager or or an employee to use feedback more often for the 39 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:29,900 things that you want to see continued. 40 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:34,100 It's really a great tool for what I would call managing up 41 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,500 and this is a super common term in business and especially in 42 00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:42,900 h.r., a really strong leader, or a strong employee is going to 43 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:46,600 know how to manage up. And really what that means is 44 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,500 being able to give feedback to your supervisor or to the person 45 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:55,100 that you report into, and also kind of have an impact on Our 46 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:59,200 performance. I would say that managing up and 47 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:04,000 being able to manage up, well, is potentially more critical 48 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,400 than receiving feedback as an employee. 49 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,000 So, in my role right now, as a director of HR, I don't 50 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,200 necessarily get as much feedback from my boss, as I do from my 51 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:20,500 partners in the field or in the corporate team, or my peers and 52 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:24,800 that's okay for me because actually, it's my peers and my 53 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:29,500 My partners whose feedback Matters Most At This stage in my 54 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:33,800 career, because every action that I take or don't take 55 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,500 directly impacts them. And so if there's feedback that 56 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:41,800 they have for me, it's critical that I know that, of course, my 57 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:46,600 supervisors feedback is important to me, but I provide 58 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,000 deliverables and I very seldom miss those deliverables. 59 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:55,900 So, the feedback that I would get is A positive. 60 00:03:56,500 --> 00:04:00,100 And so managing up coming back to this point. 61 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:05,200 If an employee or if you have someone who you report into, 62 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,600 that's not really doing things the way that you want them to or 63 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,400 in a way that's effective or efficient or you have feedback 64 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,700 for them. It's the managing up, that's 65 00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:18,200 really critical. So taking an opportunity to say, 66 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,100 hey, in the future. Can we do this or that? 67 00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:26,100 And it doesn't necessarily feel like feedback but it is is and 68 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,000 so one of the things that I think will get into today is the 69 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,400 strategy and feedback and the way that we plan giving feedback 70 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:37,400 and so I hope that the messages throughout this episode 71 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,500 translate for you and either role that you play. 72 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:46,200 So outside of giving negative or positive feedback, it's also 73 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:51,000 important to make the feedback really clear. 74 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,700 So I already shared that I give a verbal cue. 75 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:58,500 Before I go into feedback and that's because I want to set the 76 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:02,600 person up to be prepared to receive feedback. 77 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,900 It is hard for a lot of people to receive feedback because this 78 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:10,200 is a comment on their performance, their leadership. 79 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:15,300 And again, it could be positive. But we immediately go to the - 80 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:19,400 probably because we're hard on ourselves and we assume that 81 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,100 there's something that we've done wrong. 82 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,700 I know for sure that I have been there. 83 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:28,100 And I thought, oh my goodness, my boss is about to give me 84 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:31,100 feedback, what did I do wrong? And then I'm running through 85 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:35,300 situations in my head and I either figure something out. 86 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,900 I make something up or I'm stumped. 87 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,700 And then what usually happens is that the conversation is 88 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,000 completely different than I imagined it to be. 89 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:47,900 And so for our employees or for ourselves being prepared for 90 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:51,800 that feedback is sometimes a third of the battle because you 91 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,700 have to prepare them, they have to hear it. 92 00:05:54,800 --> 00:06:00,700 You actually have to deliver it so when addressing feedback or 93 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:04,300 going into a conversation where feedback is given, there are a 94 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,900 few tips that I want to give you the first is plan it out know 95 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:12,100 the points that you want to touch on and make sure you hit 96 00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:15,700 those points. Also be prepared for someone 97 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,300 who's defensive. And so how are you going to 98 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:22,900 navigate a conversation that is potentially difficult? 99 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,300 You know, like there are conversations that Can be really 100 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:28,100 hard. And I think we all probably have 101 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,000 a story of, you know, a situation where we were giving 102 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,800 feedback and it was not easy to do. 103 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,000 So have a plan in place so that, you know, exactly what you want 104 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,900 to get out of the conversation and, you know, exactly what you 105 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,200 need from your employer, or from the person you're giving 106 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,000 feedback to. Once you have your plan, think 107 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:49,500 about also planning where you're going to give the feedback you 108 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,400 really want to make sure that you're setting up the person for 109 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,000 success. That's the whole point of 110 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,200 feedback is Care about the person you care about their 111 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,500 success. And so, you're giving them 112 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:02,000 feedback so that they can improve or they can continue 113 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,000 what they're doing. Well, and so I think a big part 114 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,500 of this is understanding that people don't always like to hear 115 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,900 things that they should change. They like to hear recognition, 116 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,700 of course. That's super easy to hear, but 117 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:18,500 when it comes to constructive feedback, picking a place that's 118 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:22,900 private can help you to ensuring that the person is open to what 119 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:27,000 you're what you're going to say. And to hearing all of the 120 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,500 feedback that you might have, especially if it's going to be a 121 00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:33,400 difficult conversation or one, that's more constructive asking 122 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:38,000 for changes. So, so far have a plan and have 123 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,700 the conversation in a place, that's conducive to openness. 124 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:47,500 And then, third be direct. There are people who don't want 125 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,200 direct messages, but there are ways that you can deliver a 126 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:54,700 direct message that are constructive and productive. 127 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,700 I think part of this is also knowing what your person, 128 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:02,500 whoever, you're giving feedback to knowing how they prefer 129 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:06,600 feedback sometimes I think that this is the learned over time. 130 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:10,600 Like, as we get to know our employees or our peers, but 131 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,400 sometimes you actually have to ask and I have a story about 132 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,300 this actually that I want to share and I'm going to be super 133 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:20,600 vulnerable here. So recently, I gave someone who 134 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,800 works at my company feedback and it was feedback. 135 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:30,500 Is constructive and also feedback that I knew would be 136 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:34,600 difficult to hear the person. I gave feedback to had recently. 137 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:40,299 Had a handful of employees exit the business and resign for 138 00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:44,500 other opportunities and specifically requested exit 139 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,600 interviews, which usually is a sign that they didn't have a 140 00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:50,500 good experience. And in those exit interviews, 141 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:53,400 they specifically said that they were dissatisfied with their 142 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:58,300 leader, this manager and I shared this on a previous 143 00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:02,300 episode that I prioritize relationships in everything that 144 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:09,800 I do and this manager and I I, you know, I know this manager 145 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,600 fairly well, but I don't, I don't think I've ever had to 146 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:17,800 give the manager feedback before and I always prefer to give the 147 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,500 manager feedback directly especially when it's serious 148 00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:24,400 like this where we've had, you know, a handful of more than 149 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,800 more than Two people leave and a month's time. 150 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:32,700 And so knowing this person's communication, I was like okay 151 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:36,500 this managers pretty direct like I think that they can hear a 152 00:09:36,508 --> 00:09:38,900 direct message and I can probably be pretty 153 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:42,400 straightforward and then also provide some of the tips that 154 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,700 they should really think about in order to make some changes 155 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:48,200 and improvements. So I scheduled a call and I 156 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:52,300 provided this manager feedback and it was direct in the sense 157 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,300 that I said Hey listen, this is a problem that We need to solve 158 00:09:55,300 --> 00:10:00,000 turnover in this way, with a trend of feedback that I've 159 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,200 received that I'm not sharing with you is not, it's not a good 160 00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:06,800 thing because it points to your leadership. 161 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:12,300 However, you're a strong, talented high, potential 162 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:17,000 manager, who can make the changes necessary to get back on 163 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:21,400 the right track. Your business is great but it's 164 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,500 not going to mean as much if you continue to turn over your 165 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:30,900 That's a hard message to receive and I said it exactly that way. 166 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:36,600 But actually the manager then felt that the feedback I 167 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:40,700 provided was confrontational. But when it comes to my 168 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:45,900 employees, I always think about how can I get them to be their 169 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:49,100 best selves, how can I give them feedback in a way that they're 170 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:54,300 going to take away the underlying message, but also in 171 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,600 Acts? Some action and change. 172 00:10:56,900 --> 00:11:00,100 So if the message was received that way, there's actually more 173 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:04,800 to break down and listen, during this conversation, the manager 174 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,200 did not openly accept the feedback. 175 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,700 The manager was Defensive, fought me on the feedback, had 176 00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:15,700 an answer for everything. And I had to remind the manager. 177 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,500 Listen, I'm giving you this feedback because I care about 178 00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:22,100 your success. That is what I say, even if the 179 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:26,000 feedback is positive and in this, Actually even though the 180 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,200 feedback was really tough, it's still positive. 181 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,800 Right because what's my message, you're a talented, 182 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,900 high-performing manager who shouldn't have these problems so 183 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,600 let's fix them. And what's so interesting is 184 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:43,200 that I gave this person direct feedback because the person said 185 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,700 I like feedback as a straight shot. 186 00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:50,400 I like it direct and that's you know that's how I prefer to hear 187 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,600 feedback if that's how you prefer to hear feedback. 188 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,400 I'm going to deliver the feed. Back that way, right? 189 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,500 Because someone who wants a direct message is not going to 190 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:02,200 want something that's a little bit more fluffy and maybe not 191 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,400 exactly directly to the point. But someone who says, you know, 192 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,400 listen it's hard for me to take a direct message. 193 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,100 So you know let's let's ease into this. 194 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,900 Like people need to know exactly how they take feedback and they 195 00:12:12,908 --> 00:12:17,600 have to be honest about that it's okay to say I don't really 196 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,100 like a direct message. I prefer that we kind of break 197 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,100 things down. Walk me through it. 198 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,800 Don't go right into it. Like let's break it down. 199 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:27,500 Down in might be a longer conversation but that's the best 200 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:31,100 way for me to receive feedback. But this manager never says that 201 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:37,000 this manager always says, I give and receive feedback very 202 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:41,600 directly this manager Now is really feeling defensive because 203 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:46,000 the feedback is super, you know, it's super pointed and this is 204 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,400 feedback about the managers leadership and that's extremely 205 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,600 difficult to hear. And so I finished the 206 00:12:52,608 --> 00:12:56,300 conversation by saying listen, I'm always here for you anytime 207 00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:59,100 you want to talk about a solution or a way to apply a 208 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,600 solution. Let's talk through it and I 209 00:13:01,608 --> 00:13:03,300 meant that I don't you guys know. 210 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,500 I mean II talked about authenticity, right? 211 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:08,000 I'm not going to say something, I don't mean so I'd never 212 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:13,100 received this feedback this type of feedback before and it didn't 213 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:16,300 given that this feedback was provided about our conversation. 214 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:21,300 It was clear that my message didn't didn't register, right? 215 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,700 So I ended up reaching out to this manager and reiterating. 216 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,500 All of the points that I shared on our original call. 217 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,900 I care about you. That's why I'm giving you 218 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,600 feedback. I want you to be successful. 219 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:37,200 These are things that are a problem and we need to fix them. 220 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,700 So, I rounded out the email by saying, let's connect when I'm 221 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:45,800 back after Thanksgiving and iron this out. 222 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:50,000 Because the the key here is that there is a problem that needs a 223 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:55,200 solution and the problem is that you have top talent and Key 224 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,800 employees turning over and sharing that. 225 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,800 It's because of your leadership. And that is a easily solved 226 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:08,300 problem because you're a high-potential talented manager 227 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:12,200 who can easily solve this problem. 228 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,800 And ultimately, the manager replied saying they're looking 229 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,200 forward to the conversation. But even for me, I'm sharing 230 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:23,700 this story because someone who I would say I'm pretty experienced 231 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,100 in giving feedback. I've received a lot of feedback 232 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:30,600 I think it's very important even in situations like this where 233 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,400 it's tough to give or tough to receive still. 234 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,600 We can have a breakdown because a lack of openness to feedback 235 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,900 can make it really challenging to actually affect change when 236 00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:45,100 there needs to be some change. So, I'll report back and let you 237 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:48,300 know what's what's to come from our meeting. 238 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:53,600 But all I can say is that I really care about the success of 239 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,700 this manager and All of the employees that work for my 240 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,200 company. And so this is all to say, that 241 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,600 feedback doesn't always have to be something. 242 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:06,200 We react defensively to. It can be seen as something 243 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,400 that's constructive and positive. 244 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,500 And I think one of the takeaways here, that I would hope this 245 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:16,100 manager has is that oh, wow, I've established a really strong 246 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:19,300 relationship with Tracy over these last few years. 247 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,700 I know she's coming from a good place, right? 248 00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:24,600 Like this is where the relationship matters so much. 249 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,900 But what I do know is that as this managers HR partner, it's 250 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:33,200 my obligation to make sure that this manager walks away, feeling 251 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,100 supported and understanding what the feedback is and what the 252 00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:41,800 change can can be. So I actually received a lot of 253 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:47,900 comments on Instagram and Linkedin about wanting Solutions 254 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,300 and ways to change when being given feedback as well. 255 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,600 And I thought this was a really interesting theme that came up. 256 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:58,600 Up because it comes back to this point that feedback isn't always 257 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,700 about providing Solutions or isn't always about something 258 00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:05,300 that needs to change, but this is something that first and 259 00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,500 foremost came to mind for a handful of people. 260 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:12,100 So this is a really good point and clearly it matters to people 261 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:16,200 when you sit down and you give feedback and you have that 262 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:20,400 conversation, are you circling back on the things that we need 263 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,200 to see on the things that you expect? 264 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,200 So from Manager perspective, are you at the end of the 265 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:31,600 conversation saying okay, so you've struggled a bit to 266 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,900 communicate when something has changed. 267 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,400 So this is what I need from you. I need you to come back to me. 268 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,100 I need you to do XY and z, or are you just saying? 269 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:43,200 Okay, thanks for your time, that follow through that action, 270 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,200 that's required, the solution that you're looking for. 271 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,100 All of that is really important. Not everyone is in a place in 272 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,800 their career where they really need all of that. 273 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,300 Follow through all of that coaching, Why, however, if 274 00:16:56,300 --> 00:17:02,000 someone's new in their role, if someone is recently promoted or 275 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,900 fairly new to the company, for example, they're going to need 276 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,599 more of that follow through. They need a coach and that's 277 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:14,099 kind of where, as a manager you need to be Savvy enough or 278 00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,900 develop a strategy around how you're going to manage your 279 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,099 team. You can't just close your eyes 280 00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:24,099 and walk around with your finger out and figure out a way to do 281 00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:26,800 it. Managing takes planning. 282 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,000 It takes intention and it takes thought. 283 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,400 So when it does come to that feedback to these individuals 284 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,300 points where they said, hey I need to know exactly what my 285 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,800 manager needs and I wish that they would provide some 286 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,700 solutions sometimes that is actually a really good talking 287 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,300 point. So being in that conversation 288 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,800 and saying, hey do you want to talk through some strategies and 289 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,600 in terms of how we can action some change and if the employee 290 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,600 says no, then that's great. If the employee says, yeah. 291 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,500 Actually, that would be great. Then, that's great too. 292 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:03,900 But assuming that just because you've given the feedback and 293 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:07,600 you slam it on the table and you walk away, assuming that that's 294 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,900 enough just isn't enough, right? Like sometimes that follow 295 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:15,200 through and that circling back or closing the loop whatever 296 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,700 analogy you want to use, sometimes that comes down to 297 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:23,000 asking the question of, what more do you need from me? 298 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,300 Do you want to walk? Through an action plan. 299 00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:30,600 What ideas do you have? That can mean the world of a 300 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,000 difference in how that person walks away from the 301 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,800 conversation. So my last point on feedback for 302 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:42,000 today is actually that I asked and surveyed individuals who are 303 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,700 connected with me on Instagram, and on LinkedIn. 304 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:50,600 And I said, where I asked what's most important about feedback or 305 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,600 giving feedback. And I asked, is it the roost 306 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,300 Ends. Openness, is it tone and 307 00:18:57,300 --> 00:19:02,000 communication style? Is it preparation planning, or 308 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:09,000 is it setting and 80% of people collectively said that its tone 309 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,900 and communication Style So this is really interesting because 310 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:18,300 for whatever reason I guess I was thinking that there would be 311 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:22,200 more of an answer from open it or for openness from the 312 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,700 recipient because when I think of asking the question around 313 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:30,100 giving feedback I think that someone's going to think, okay 314 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,300 well if I'm going to give feedback I need the person to 315 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,700 receive it. Well but actually what's so 316 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:39,400 interesting is that the way that this question was received by 317 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:45,300 those I don't know, 50 people who answered the survey is 318 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,800 respectively between Instagram and Linkedin. 319 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,100 Is that even when giving feedback, they're thinking that, 320 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:55,900 tone and communication style is the most important and I can't 321 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,000 disagree. It's really important. 322 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,600 It's one of the reasons why I share that story from before, 323 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:05,500 where I was so intentional and delivering the feedback in the 324 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:08,500 way that the manager has always shared that they want it to be 325 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,400 delivered to them. And in a way that Really clearly 326 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:17,100 understood but still holding and towing that line of, of course, 327 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:20,600 professional and clear. But when we think of tone and 328 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,200 communication style, what does this mean? 329 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:26,900 This probably means that people really don't want to receive a 330 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,700 message from someone who isn't nice, right? 331 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,800 Like I can think of when I've received feedback from someone 332 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:37,300 who communicated in a way that was aggressive and rude. 333 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,600 And I have given those individuals feedback. 334 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:44,300 Directly saying, please don't communicate to me in that way. 335 00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:47,400 Your feedback is aggressive and rude, and there's a way to 336 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,900 deliver it and when you have someone, giving you feedback who 337 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:53,900 doesn't care about you or doesn't really care about what 338 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,600 how you feel. Yeah. 339 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:59,100 The tone and communication is going to be really off and so I 340 00:20:59,108 --> 00:21:04,200 can see why that was the winner by the clear majority on the 341 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:08,000 surveys, because no one wants to receive feedback from someone 342 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,600 who doesn't consider tone and communication Style. 343 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:14,200 Unless that not all feedback can be planned and thought out in 344 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,900 that way. Sometimes feedback is right in 345 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,800 the moment. I've had to give a lot of 346 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,200 feedback feedback to managers recently, especially, with these 347 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:28,700 new covid, restrictions being really clear and very direct is 348 00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,100 basically an obligation at this point. 349 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:36,200 And so if I'm not direct and clear and giving feedback in the 350 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:40,600 moment, I'm not doing my job and I'm certainly not prioritize. 351 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,600 Seeing the health and safety of my team and our clients. 352 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,100 So there are moments where you can't necessarily think or 353 00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:53,400 prepare or plan and have a whole situation thought-out around 354 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,900 what the feedback is or the feedback that you're going to 355 00:21:55,908 --> 00:21:58,800 provide because sometimes just time isn't on your side. 356 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,800 And that's really where I would encourage you to kind of get 357 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,900 your communication right now. Figure out what your leadership 358 00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:08,400 style. Is figure out how you 359 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,600 communicate and develop best practices. 360 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,700 Is that every time you communicate you have a Baseline 361 00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,200 and then that way it's like muscle memory so when you do 362 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,300 have to give feedback, you can give a quick thought into what 363 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:22,000 your message is. And then your Baseline will be 364 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,600 the way that you communicate and listen. 365 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:29,700 There are also industry specific ways in which feedback happens, 366 00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:33,900 like we had dr. Turn off on the podcast and he's 367 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:37,300 in medicine in medicine. They don't care about tone and 368 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:39,500 communication. Because if there's an emergency 369 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,100 and you do, I'm wrong. You're going to hear it, you're 370 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,300 going to know. There is no time for beating 371 00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:49,100 around the bush, right? So maybe in my industry and 372 00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:51,700 Retail, there's a little bit more time to plan, there's a 373 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:54,000 little bit more time to be less direct. 374 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,300 So, take some of that, with a grain of salt to, depending on 375 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,600 the industry that you're in, I'd love to hear your feedback and 376 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,200 your thoughts on the points that I've shared in this episode. 377 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,100 So, please again, reach out to me. 378 00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,800 I want this to be a conversation. 379 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,500 I'm hoping we can get more conversations. 380 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,400 Lying in the comments and just in general through my DMs. 381 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,900 Because I really look forward to speaking to everyone on an 382 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:22,600 individual basis. If not in a group basis, So I'm 383 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:31,300 going to shift gears to a little story and it comes back actually 384 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:36,100 to the salary conversation. I got a lot of really wonderful 385 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:40,100 feedback about last week's episodes of thank you for those 386 00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:43,900 of you who did Reach Out And for those of you who listen to maybe 387 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:47,700 didn't reach out. So I actually was told that 388 00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:53,600 someone listened to my advice about Asking for a raise, even 389 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,400 if you think you're not going to get it. 390 00:23:55,600 --> 00:24:01,500 And I am here to share with you that the person got a raise even 391 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:06,600 during this time and when I got that notification, I was 392 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,800 ecstatic, not only because my feedback worked, but because the 393 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:19,000 person did it, they asked they were a little nervous albeit 394 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,100 about asking for what they wanted. 395 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,600 It but they did it and they got the result, they wanted--, 396 00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:28,400 there's nothing better than giving advice and hearing that 397 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:33,500 it worked like I was ecstatic. So I'm sure you're listening. 398 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:37,600 I know, I know you're listening well done, congratulations on 399 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,300 your raise you deserve it, super exciting and thank you for 400 00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:43,300 putting some of my advice into action. 401 00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:46,300 I hope that it inspires others to do the same. 402 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,400 And actually on that note, I am going to quickly round out 403 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,000 today's Coming back to the salary Point again. 404 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,800 Someone recently asked me in my DMs on Instagram. 405 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,500 Like how do I figure out where I stand with the market? 406 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,300 Because I guess I said in a story that you can, you know, 407 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:09,900 where are you getting your salary understanding from? 408 00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:12,500 Because the person said that they still feel like they're not 409 00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:16,600 getting paid enough and I said, like, is this because you feel, 410 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,300 it's not enough because of the way that you value yourself or 411 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,900 is this because of where you stand in the market and so they 412 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,800 said well how do I know where I stand in the market? 413 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:29,400 So my answer is that you can actually go on glass door, you 414 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,400 can go on LinkedIn, you can go on pay scale and those websites 415 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,800 actually asked a series of questions around your salary. 416 00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:39,500 How many years of experience you have? 417 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:44,200 How large the company that you work for is where you live all 418 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,900 of the factors that kind of make up someone's salary? 419 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:53,800 They asked and that's where you Pretty much figure out what the 420 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:58,100 market rate is. I think in some cases it's a 421 00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:03,500 little low, some cases, it's a little high really kind of 422 00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:07,200 depends on the data points that you're entering in. 423 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:11,500 Like to give you an example. I did that in my last roll 424 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,400 before I was promoted and I was like, where do I stand like a my 425 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,200 in marketing, my out of market, and actually, I was in market 426 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,500 and I still felt like it was a little Slow. 427 00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:25,400 But actually, it made me feel a little bit better that. 428 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,900 Okay. I'm, I feel it's a little low 429 00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:30,500 because of the value. I place on myself and the work 430 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:33,900 that I do, but it's not necessarily low compared to the 431 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,600 market and so, that was kind of nice. 432 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,600 So I encourage you, if you're evaluating your salary, and you 433 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,100 feel like you're low or you're, not sure where you stand head to 434 00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:47,000 those websites and check out their salary, estimator, they're 435 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,800 called different things. Maybe I can, I can post it on 436 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,400 Instagram to show you But it's a great resource and you can go on 437 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,800 interviews and you can ask what people are paying but just keep 438 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:04,900 in mind what someone is paying in one role or company isn't 439 00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:07,000 necessarily what the market is calling for. 440 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,900 There are so many factors like I said, there's location there's 441 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:14,800 size of the company, there's Revenue like there's so much 442 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:19,700 that goes into what comprises a salary but it's a good way to do 443 00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:21,000 some market research on your own. 444 00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:27,600 As well. Recently I'm going to start 445 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,600 laughing recently for work. We had a little like 446 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:35,900 Thanksgiving virtual lunch, and we played a bingo game and one 447 00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:41,400 of the Bingo squares was to share a story or that if someone 448 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,500 had a story like a turkey disaster story. 449 00:27:44,900 --> 00:27:49,100 So I don't have a turkey eating disaster story because actually 450 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,900 I'm a pescetarian. So I don't eat turkey to begin 451 00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:57,200 with but I A turkey disaster story completely removed from 452 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,300 Thanksgiving that I thought would be fun to share. 453 00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,900 So when I was in high school in New Jersey, where I'm from, we 454 00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:07,600 actually went into a lockdown because of an overzealous turkey 455 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,700 hunter. Yes. 456 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,900 That's you heard that right? An overzealous turkey under 457 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:15,100 eyes. I'm just going to start laughing 458 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:19,200 now. And basically, a man was walking 459 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:23,100 around the high school or close enough to the high school with a 460 00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:27,000 shotgun. Looking to hunt wild turkey. 461 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:31,900 Now, I should share that. This part of New Jersey is not 462 00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:35,600 rural. It is right near Rutgers 463 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:40,500 University which is a very very Urban populated area and so 464 00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:47,900 there I struggle to understand or put into words to justify how 465 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:53,100 there would be one a wild turkey to a wild turkey hunter who's 466 00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:55,700 overzealous That's my turkey disaster story. 467 00:28:55,700 --> 00:29:00,600 So hopefully you don't have the same story unless you went to 468 00:29:00,608 --> 00:29:02,800 high school with me which I handful of you did if you're 469 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,800 listening. So all I can say is that on that 470 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,700 note, I hope that you all steer clear of overzealous wild turkey 471 00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:11,600 hunters and have a wonderful Thanksgiving. 472 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,300 I'm grateful to all of you who listen to all of you who have 473 00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:19,800 subscribed and there's so much to be grateful for even in this 474 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,800 crazy year. And so all I can say is thank 475 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,100 you, as always. Guys, please make sure that you 476 00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:28,300 subscribe rate and review wherever you are listening to 477 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,700 this podcast. And please be sure to follow me 478 00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:35,300 on Instagram at HR. Tracy, that's HRT raci. 479 00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:38,300 And you can connect with me on LinkedIn to please. 480 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:42,600 Feel free to send me messages, comments, anything related to 481 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,600 these topics or more topics that you want to hear and please 482 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,400 reach out. If you have questions specific 483 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,200 to your own situations as well. Thank you guys so much, see you 484 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,000 next week.