Welcome to Business Analysis Live.
I'm your host, Susan Moore, community engagement manager
with the International Institute of Business Analysis.
I explore topics with industry guests about the work of
business analysis professionals and how their work helps
organizations achieve better outcomes.
And Yep, we take your questions too.
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Hey, do you like giving feedback?
Do you more importantly, do you like getting feedback?
Well, sometimes not so much, right?
Sometimes it can feel really uncomfortable or just downright
demoralizing when you are getting and receiving feedback.
But you know, in the work that we do as business analysis
professionals, it's actually kind of important that we build
this skill set of both giving and receiving feedback.
Earlier this year, I had an opportunity to hear a talk from
somebody who I think makes it pretty fun experience to get and
receive feedback. And here he is now.
Pavel Sidorowicz. All right.
Hey, there you are. Yes.
Finally, finally. Well, hey, listen, I, I really
enjoyed that talk that you did on giving and receiving feedback
and that's going to be what we talked about today.
But before we do that, I'm actually going to ask you tell
us a little bit about yourself and why giving and receiving
feedback is a thing you like talking about.
All right. So my main heart that I wear is
business analyst and I've been doing that for the last 15 years
in different branches, different companies in banking, in car
audio, in manufacturing, law enforcement, in life sciences,
pharma, name it. A lot of different occasions to
be APA, but I also been APMI, have a degree in project
management. I've been a tester, product
owner, a lot of roles that I took in ITA along the years.
I'm also certified business manager.
I've been a chapter leads, BA leads and ABA manager.
So basically that's my professional career.
And apart from that, I have a wife and two children and a very
crazy German Shepherd. So a lot of things to do outside
work, let's say. And why are you like talking
about feedback? It's a complicated question
because it's not easy to do. It's not that straightforward.
It's even more difficult to give, to receive feedback than
to give it actually, because it's a complex matter and it
requires a lot of self-awareness.
A lot of people have troubles giving and receiving feedback,
and I just thinking to myself every time I talk about anything
related to business analysis or work as such is that I always
wanted to have a senior guy in the team that would help me to
do those things. And I'm trying to be a senior
member of IT or BA community that I needed when I was junior.
That's my goal, actually. So I I've heard this saying, be
the leader you needed as a, as a junior employee.
So good for you for, for helping others with something that you
know has been crucial to your career.
So 'cause this is hard, what, what do you think?
Why do you think giving and receiving feedback is a critical
skill for the work that we do? Basically because how we talked
with other people and how we share our thoughts and how we
receive them builds relationship.
And in our job being ABA or any related role, product owner,
product manager, building relationships is a pinnacle of
our work. Basically, without that, even if
we are technically brilliant, even if our diagrams or methods
are always spot on, if we can't build relationships with, if we
don't get along with people fine, then all of that work
might not mean much. Really, you could not have said
it better there because I I maybe people don't think about
giving and receiving feedback as being a big part of building a
relationship. But you know, you and I were
talking about feedback that you get from your family, right?
And that's so important for us from the time that we are kids
to the time that we're adults. I don't know about you.
My parents still give me feedback.
They do, even if we don't want it right.
Especially if we don't want it, but that may be right.
But that important give and take that parents and kids have or
that family members have, it's really important to helping
shape us because I assume that our parents are giving us
feedback. They want us to be good people.
Yeah, I think that's an overarching goal.
And if you set up the mind, if you set the mindset that
everyone that is sharing feedback with you wants only
good for you, then it's easier to grasp it, to talk about it.
And our parents usually or most of the times meanwhile, yeah, my
father, even when he was joking last time when he visited our
new house and he was like, oh, that's a curious doorstep.
And I was having a box there so the door don't slam across the
wall because I haven't bought any yet.
But he wanted to make a joke. But instantly you know I should
buy it. Well, and I know we were talking
about how my mother-in-law always gives my husband feedback
that his hair is too long, right?
And he says, oh mom, leave me alone.
And but I she means it. Well, I mean, she just wants him
to look nice. But sometimes that feedback can
have a real meaning. Yeah.
You know, sometimes you think that the feedback doesn't stick
with you. It doesn't have any sense
because you don't see yourself with others, with eyes of other
people. What we tend to do is to judge
everyone by the effect of what they do and what they say.
But we judge ourselves from our intentions.
So we always justify what we do. Because I wanted to do something
good for someone and the reception might be not good at
all because they judge us by the effects of our doings.
So basically we do the same with the feedback we received from
our parents and so on. And sometimes when I think about
that, you need to think whether you would respond so badly to
feedback if it was at your workplace.
Would you be so offended or sad about the feedback?
Or you would try to respond in professional manner because the
frame that you have around you is different.
With your parents, it's so much easier to say, yeah, that's
stupid, I don't care. But at work you can't say that.
Right, well, I guess you could say that, but you might not work
there for very long. Yeah, back in my days when I was
studying, there was 1 philosopher that said that we
can do everything but the consequences we must bear is the
case. Well, so thinking about that,
giving feedback, if we think about, you know, what makes that
so difficult, maybe let's talk about what we can be thinking
about as we are giving feedback. So you, you mentioned that
there's, we have an intention generally that we want to give
feedback because we want to help.
But are there other things that we could be thinking about as we
are giving feedback so that it's received as best as possible?
Yeah, also there are other reasons.
We want to improve the work that is being done or we want to
improve our working conditions. So we want to get along better
with people because there is something that's actually annoys
us or it's is confusing or we don't like such behavior and so
on. But I think what is important is
to concentrate on and focus on facts.
So what actually happened that made us give that feedback?
Not to put, you know, like, say it's awful that you did that
because it already turns someone into a defense mode.
So first you do facts. You didn't come to our meeting
and that's a fact you can't discuss about it.
You can't say that it didn't happen because it happened.
But if you would say you didn't came to a week meeting, you are
a bad person. That's turns someone into
already being defensive. So first to focus about facts,
then you say about your emotions because those that how you felt
also cannot be disputed because it's your emotion.
What you need to be careful about here is not to say that
you were, let's say you had, you were you hated that or
something. It's more of your internal
emotional. I was sad it didn't come to the
meeting. And then you say what were the
consequences? Because of that, we haven't
finalized the requirements. The work will be delayed.
My documents will be delayed. So there is a direct
consequence. Sorry.
And the last thing is important is what is the expectation?
So the expectation is that the next time you can't come, please
let me know because it's important for my schedule, it's
important for my duties, it's important for things that I need
to get done. So basically emotions, your
emotions, facts, consequences and your expectations.
Yeah, I think that's a that is a good way to package that
information. I think sometimes what might get
in our way is how we feel before we give that feedback.
So if I am angry or annoyed or disappointed, what I hear you
say is you can, you can be those things, but you can't let that,
you can't let that interfere with the information that you
need to give. Do you have any tips for how I
can deal with my own feelings before I give feedback?
Especially special before you get.
So you are now talking about the receiving hands.
So it's very difficult, I cannot lie.
And I will say that you need to have that mindset that somebody
wants something good for you, wants you to improve at your
work. Once doctor annoyed, you're not
annoyed. People wants to improve
collaboration within the team. And despite the fact that they
mean well, they might do it in a mean way.
And and your emotions might be like what that guy is talking
about. I'm going to explode or erupt at
the moment, but it's good to get past that.
Your emotions. Be self aware of how you feel
when you receive feedback even before you get it.
If you're usually when I get feedback I get defensive, maybe
I should do it differently. Because when this is our natural
instinct, when somebody tells something bad about us, we
already think how to defend ourselves and get out of this
mess basically. So instead of that, use
techniques that you know very well from being ABA.
Actively listen to a person, ask questions, paraphrase.
So what you are so angry about, right?
Or why does it make you angry or why does it influence the team?
What I don't see that. What have I done wrong?
And because of those open questions, somebody also will
change their mindset because sometimes they come, you know,
it's not like they prepared that feedback or that they spent
enough time preparing the message they want to pass.
They just accumulated the anger, frustration and they burst in
with feedback. They didn't want to.
They don't like to do that, but they did because that's how
people are. We are driven by our emotions.
And, and that can be a good thing.
And it can also be a not good thing, especially when you are
trying to talk to somebody. You know, you, you use that
phrase self aware to be self aware and to to use
self-awareness. And I think it is, it is
important to be self aware when receiving, but also when giving.
And so if you know that you really are angry or frustrated
or disappointed and you need to give this feedback, you might
need to 1st recognize that you feel those feelings and know
that if you don't address them, they will come out in your in
the feedback. So if you need to take a minute
and that minute could be a day, whatever it is, right, you need
to you as the person giving that feedback need to take a little
bit of time to address your feelings so that you can focus
on facts and the consequences and the expectations like you
said. And I will use the Christmas
analogy again, OK? Because if you want feedback to
be well done, you need to wrap it up, prepare it, nurture it,
and then when you are ready, you put it under Christmas tree.
And in this terms, you go to a person and share your feedback.
Otherwise, if you don't do that, if you don't prepare, even if
you feel I'm calm now, I'm really calm, I can go And then
on the surface everything seems OK and you feel that you've,
that you are dealing with your emotions, but it's still fresh,
it's still unprepared. The message you haven't thought
about just that I'm going, I need to tell that guy, I need to
tell this person that, that I need to share that feedback now.
And then the reaction to your feedback might not be as good as
you thought. And that fear or anger or any
emotion that you have on the surface, underneath the surface
might come out. And then this is not long,
longer a conversation. This is no longer a gift.
This is a dispute. And it can, as you know, in your
private life as well. It can go anyway, basically.
Yeah, by the way, nice tie in with the holidays.
Also, I want to talk about your Christmas sweater, which I am
appreciating because it has both Christmas trees and a skull and
crossbones, which. What you don't see there is also
a bad wolf in there, so yeah. It's fantastic.
I would not call that an ugly Christmas sweater.
I would call that genius, by the way.
Thank you. It's supposed to be it's.
That's enough anyways. It's like with feedback.
It has very good size and very bad size.
It can be very good, it can be very bad.
It depends how you how you do it and how you receive it.
That's right, people might think that your Christmas sweater is a
is Bah humbug. It is anti Christmas.
I see it as very much about Christmas.
Well. Somebody told me recently that
in Austria, for example, they celebrate Christmas and there is
crumples, right? So this devil look alike and
they celebrate it as well as the other side of and it's very fun
for children and so on. So I take a look at such
analogies and I think sometimes you need to take those things
that hurt, those things that are not, that you do not receive
well and try to transform them into something good.
And this is with feedback. Somebody I got feedback which
was like, oh, look at your user story.
The other BA done it so much better.
Look at it, it's a mess. And I was like, you know, I'm
going to tell him what mess he is, right?
But instead, take a step back, listen to what person has to
say, ask questions, and you don't need to respond to
feedback instantly. You can go back, see that in
your favorite answer, take a sip of favorite coffee or whatever
you like. Or whatever.
Yes, or whatever. And then you think, OK, actually
in with this, he's right or she's right.
And with that, not really. And you can still disagree.
It's not an obligation to turn all feedback into actionable
insights. Sometimes you just need to come
back and say, you look, I analysed what you said and
you're right. When it comes to this and that,
with this, I do not agree because this and that, and maybe
we can sit down together and find another way.
And that opens a relationship because somebody says, actually
I've been hurt. So it's not like I'm talking to
a wall that doesn't respond, or to someone that doesn't have any
will to improve. Yeah.
So there's a lot there. So let's unpack.
I want to restate what you've said because this is really
important, because very often, using another Christmas analogy,
it's like we got a gift that we did not want.
For example, when you are a child, right?
When you are a child, what is this?
Right. I did not want underwear and
socks, mom. I wanted a video game.
Exactly. So I like maybe it's something
that we don't think about, that we can take some time to think
about that feedback. If you want to take time to
respond to that feedback, what do you suggest people say to the
person? I hear you.
And and it's important that you
share it because I appreciate that.
And that's important to say that you appreciate the feedback.
Look, it's there is a lot to unpack as you said, and I need
to think about it. There are some valid points,
with some I might not agree, but I need to think about it and
analyze and I'll come back to you.
Nice. Yeah, nice.
So it says I heard you. And sometimes conversations can
go wrong because we feel like we are not heard.
And so acknowledging I heard what you said and I want to
think about it and get back to you.
It says I may not love it, but I'll I'll let you know how I
want to respond. I also love that you said that.
You can disagree. You can disagree.
Feedback is sometimes not as objective as it seems.
Look, we might lie to ourselves that we are objective, but we
are not. We are people that are driven by
emotions, by different external conditions, and everything we do
is subjective. It's from our own perspective.
It's how we've perceived the world itself, how we perceive
people around us and how even if we want to be objective, we
never will be 100% objective. And we need to acknowledge that.
And we need to also acknowledge that what is in our system of
values is important, might not be important for other people,
or maybe not as important As for us.
Yeah, yeah. So that cultural element as
well, especially as we are a very international, you know,
we're going to say we work in international organizations.
Many of us, you're right, there's a cultural component to
things that might be important or not important, or how I
respond or accept feedback. Yeah, Yeah.
I mean, you need to think about that when you want to give that
feedback, especially when you don't know that person very
well. And then I would say that
approaching this with delicacies and we're being delicate even
and try to first do a little bit of a probe like instead of
instantly going into I have feedback for you.
Do you have any feedback for me? Do you like working with my,
with me? Do you see my user stories or my
deliverables a good quality are good quality for you?
Or you miss something and then you start the conversation.
Although you your goal from the very beginning is to pass your
feedback because you might look like something, but it opens up
people and they are more open to conversation because you want to
hear them first. Yes, yeah.
And if you, especially in those moments, if you think about I
want to build a relationship with you, relationships are all
about feedback. Every relationship that I have
has some level of feedback because that's how we get to
know people. And you know, just like we said,
feedback is not, it may seem objective, but it isn't.
Sometimes when you start digging into the details of what's been
shared with you can realize the person that has given you
feedback didn't have all of the information.
And it's a great opportunity to open the door to, OK, I heard
what you said, let me give you a little more information.
Does that change things? Yeah, as long as you do not go
defensive with it, because a lot of people, what I see and I try
to help them with that, is that when I share feedback, they
instantly go into this stance of explaining themselves.
I did it because I wasn't aware and they are finding different
ways to excuse themselves instead of really listening to
what I have to say. So OK, I am not saying that
you've done it on purpose or you wanted to do something wrong.
Let's take a step back and think how we could improve things.
And it's not about me judging your behavior or anything else.
It's just about having a conversation.
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I know what you mean.
I know that sometimes our instinct when we get feedback
that we don't like is to explain why we did it.
But I and boy, sometimes I have to work at this.
I, I try to be quiet and put on my listening ears, especially if
I feel like I disagree, because there will sometimes be that one
nugget that I get from that person that I think, oh, OK, I
think I see, I think I see where they're trying to help me.
And then being open to then paraphrasing like you said, and
asking questions can open that door to understanding exactly
what they are trying to tell me. But boy, do I have to listen to
myself. And so, you know, maybe not a
lot of people think about what it means to be self aware, but I
always think, how do I feel? Do I feel like my chest is
tightening? Do I feel like I'm sweating?
Do I feel like I'm like, I want to be angry?
That's those are important clues from your body that you might
not be taking this well. So just know that if you react
from that place, you may not get the benefit of the.
Fear to be honest, I'm before I got self aware and I'm not
saying that I'm a master of self-awareness here at the time,
but I remember myself responding very badly to feedback and to
things that I thought are wrong because I wasn't self aware how
emotions influence what I say and think.
And here shout out to one of my mentors along the way to ever
united. Things are very nice for
listening call you listen. She told me, Papa, you need to
calm down and you need to think about your emotions because you
can achieve so many things, but you need to be self aware how
emotions are turning you into a very, you know, shaky person
that responds with sadness, anger and so on instead of
processing your emotions. So I've done a large share with
that to think how I feel when people judge me or give
feedback. And the picture was not
brilliant, was not pretty. So then I took that step back
and started to think about this topic at all, to study it and so
on. And that's also what I encourage
you to do. If you think that you are not
good at sharing and give and receiving feedback, maybe it can
be processed. You just need to do a little bit
of work. You need to talk with other
people that had the same problem.
Because we are not born as feedback champions.
That's right. You before we got started today,
you and I were talking that sometimes the way that we might
react to feedback is based on what we have seen as kids and
that might not have been a good experience.
Yeah, how you are driving this bicycle, it's totally wrong.
Yeah, how? You need to use fork and knife
for that. I told you how many times I need
to say it. That's right.
And and we may not have gotten good clues as to what is good
feedback because, yeah, parents, you're a parent.
You know, sometimes you, those kids are doing something and you
need to tell them, right? Then don't do that, right?
And so sometimes it gets delivered with an emotion that
you don't intend. So I think this is an
opportunity in what you've been sharing and in the work that we
do to build some skills that will be useful across all
aspects of your life. That's true if you think about
self-awareness, Yeah. If you know what you think, what
you feel at the very same moment when something happens, well,
it's a very good start to do something about it.
If you think about sharing feedback with kindness and with
thinking about giving a gift to someone, maybe it's also
something you can do in your professional life.
So whatever you do, treat it as you want to wrap it, prepare it
and give it away as perfect as you can do, but not with
perfectionism. That's what I will fight always,
because we are not perfect. The world is not perfect, and
feedback is not perfect either. So and also think about active
listening and how listening is more important than talking.
Talking is easy. Talking is cheap.
Listening is difficult. Yes.
And exploring the art of active listening is really important.
That's a skill that will help you in every situation.
Because if you listen during a conversation at the store,
during a conversation at the institution somewhere, if you
listen what people are saying, maybe you'll find a solution.
If you don't listen, you only find problems.
That's right. You're right, listening is hard.
Active listening is really hard because very, you know, we're in
the business of solving problems.
So very often, as soon as I hear something, I am moving on to how
do we solve that? But it's in the listening that
you hear, not just the problem somebody is having, but the way
that they feel about it, Things that they have tried, other
aspects of that problem that you might not have thought about.
It's hard to stay silent, I know, but it.
But you're right, so much of communication is the listening.
Yeah, If you think about also everyday situations that you set
about parenting, but also marriage, it's like instantly,
we, especially myself, I'm going instantly into solving problems
when my wife says, I just wanted you to hear me.
I don't want you to go instantly and do it because you can't
solve all of my problems even if you would like to.
But I just need someone to hear me and that's what is it.
With feedback, sometimes people just need to share.
They don't need instant action from you.
We need you to analyze, understand, listen to them, and
then make your move. Yeah.
So that idea of being heard, I just need for you to hear what I
have to say. We don't have to argue or agree
or do something about it. I just need for you to hear it.
And so, yeah, I hope as people are listening to us today that
they are thinking about not just giving and receiving feedback as
the skill to build, but all of the other social skills around
it. Those are all important to our
work as business analysis professionals.
Yeah. Couldn't agree more.
And also an important thing to say is remember that you are not
responsible for how people receive feedback.
Yeah. You don't have any idea what
they are dealing with, how they are feeling, how they will
receive it, Even if you've done everything you could in your
power to make the feedback, to make the feedback digestible and
reasonable, they might be going over things that you don't know
about and they will respond and react badly and that's not your
fault. Somebody might not be ready,
might not be self aware. You've done what you could and
good. Mission accomplished, You should
be proud of yourself because a lot of people help hold back
their feedback and their relationships start to
dereteriate and be awful sometimes to a point that there
is a conflict approaching because nobody said what should
be said before. Right.
There's a cost to avoiding giving and giving feedback as
well that we also have to think about here.
That's really an important point.
Well, let's see. We have got some thoughts and
some questions today. And by the way, this is a little
bit of a bummer, but if you normally join us on YouTube, I
am sad to say that we have a problem with our connector
today. So if you've our social media
person, Roslyn, put a note over there.
Hopefully you guys have found us over here.
That's a bummer. I think we'll have some feedback
for YouTube. OK.
Well, let's take a couple of
questions and there might actually be some comments in
here, so we can respond to those as well.
OK. So let's see, we've got
something here from Rishi giving, OK, so emotional
feedback versus logical feedback.
And then I see receiving emotional response versus a
logical response. That's a curious beast because,
you know, we have different people.
Some of us are more logical persons and some are emotional
people and some of us are for both depending of the
circumstances or or depending of how we feel today.
Today I feel illogical because everything fells apart and
that's it. So whatever we do, we need to be
ourselves. If we are more on this emotional
side, we need to be self aware of that and we can't be robots.
That's why we we use emotions in feedback.
We say how we feel and also we say logically.
The facts are the consequences are.
So it's a little bit of everything and how somebody
responds. As said, we cannot influence
that. So we just, we just prepare
ourselves for both options. It might be logical, it might be
emotional and we need to be prepared for both.
And if it's emotional and we feel badly about it, it's so
again, the same thing. Step back.
I hear you. I know it angers you.
Let's find the common ground and think about it.
Yeah, that's right. And you're right, an emotional
versus a logical response. On any given day, somebody that
you think might give one response over the other, they
could surprise you. Because you're right, sometimes
we have lots of things going on in our lives that have nothing
to do with what's happening at work, which could generate an
unexpected response. So yeah, but I think being ready
for anything but, but I would say don't overthink it.
Like if you're getting ready to give feedback, don't overthink.
Well, this could go like, we're not putting together a risk
plan. Like don't overthink it.
Just think how would I react if somebody handled this badly?
And sometimes it's really surprising because we know a
person, we think we get along just fine, and then you realize
that feedback triggers something devilish in that person.
That's right, and it happens. You're right.
Yes, it does. Okey Doke here.
Let's take a This is kind of another comment from Hussein.
I think the most difficult feedback to accept is from
people who don't accept feedback themselves.
You and I, before we got started today, we talked about the
importance of being coachable and I think that's what Hussain
is suggesting here. Yeah, once again, we can't be
responsible for what others think or what others do.
And I agree with you that it's extremely difficult to accept
feedback from someone who previously showed multiple times
that they do not care about your feedback or do not care about
your emotions. The only stance that I can offer
here is assume that they don't want anything bad for you.
Assume that. And even if you can't get past
that point, what Susan said before, take that one nugget
that you find reasonable in what others say.
Because you will encounter toxic people in your life, no doubt
about it. And they are first to share
feedback or to dress feedback or dress something else as
feedback, some kind of regret, some kind of vengeance, I don't
know. And you will have that and it
will happen from time to time. And the only thing is try to
analyse it and take anything that is valuable from it.
And if it's not valuable still. Thank you for your feedback.
I appreciate that. I will get back to you.
And that disarms such people quite nicely.
Some, not always. But a lot, you are so right.
You are so right. And sometimes those folks who do
not give feedback, well, maybe they're toxic, maybe whatever.
They just don't have those skills sometimes by you being
kind, even if you just got a bunch of feedback which isn't
helpful or which seems mean spirited sometimes if you can
show kindness. Thank you for that is sometimes
it can disarm them. Yeah.
So that you can get something useful.
All right, so let's see. We have got.
Here's one from Mark. Mark says from experience, the
absence of feedback is much more dangerous than the negative or
constructive feedback. Yes.
Couldn't agree more. That's the essence of it because
you know and I do not perceive feedback as negative as well.
It's always constructive even if it says something wrong about us
or others because if it's shape, if it's prepared properly, it's
always constructive if it's negative, what have you done?
OK, let's put that aside. Let's box it, let's pack it and
listen to whatever else is there.
But that's a valid point. If you do not share feedback, if
you do not talk with each other, if you do not have that
conversation, people are turning into live volcanoes.
They're sitting, accumulate, accumulating those emotions
until they explode. And then the whole project, the
whole team can fall down. And I've seen that in the past.
Yeah, that's, I think that is the cost of not giving feedback
is things build up. So there's a cost to that, and
it is not polite to withhold that.
Give you a situation of life situation.
We've been in the office with four or five people.
And of course in office, what do you have?
Air conditioning, which tends to be a conflict point in every
place like that. It's colder around here.
I'll go and turn up the heating and that person goes away and
another person instantly stands up.
It's too hot. And that Symphony of steps
continues throughout 234 weeks until they just explode because
they do not discuss the terms of living, of being in the same
room. So when I go away, you can do
with air conditioning whatever you like.
When I come back, I like it a little bit more warm.
Is that OK with you? It's a conversation, it's a
feedback. Otherwise it's like a play in
theater, which is funny to observe, but not that funny when
it erupts. That's.
True. Yeah, that's true.
And what a perfect example, right, of something that
probably people have a lot of emotion about.
I'm too hot, I'm too cold and somebody keeps messing around
with the the temperature, right. So feedback is an opportunity
for a conversation and an understanding SO.
All right, so let's see, here's we've got another.
So here's this is from someone listening to us on LinkedIn
today. Frame the negative feedback is a
time for everyone to learn. Exactly what I didn't say, and
thank you for that point is that you, you can shape the culture
of feedback at your workplace or in your team.
So when I take over a team or when I join a team, I usually
start from words. That's hello, I'm power.
This is who I am and it's all and I'm open to feedback.
So whatever you want to tell me, please do.
I'm not going to be angry. I'm not be I will not be
offended. Let's make feedback our usual
ways of working. I even tend to add it was one of
the values of the team because if we are open and we can share
feedback with each other, then we improve as a team because we
are honest with each other, we care how we feel, we care how we
work, so it improves us all. Well, yeah, that I can see how
that would shape the culture. And I think it's a great, maybe
a great team guideline is we should not only talk about the
way that we communicate our, our team hours, the tools that we
use. Let's also talk about how we
want to give and receive feedback.
And you know, as you were talking about that, I was
thinking for some of us, for for some people, the only time we
get feedback is during a performance review, which can be
a long time between when we did the thing and we're getting the
feedback. So if you build in that
guideline into how your team works, you are getting the
feedback as it is happening and you are making decisions as a
team, as an individual, how you're going to respond to that,
it does improve teams. Yeah.
And the important thing which you said is that timing of
feedback is really important. Yes.
Because let's say I'm giving a presentation to an audience and
I'm standing backwards to the screen, so I'm talking and
nobody says that there is nothing there until it finishes.
Was this timely and send somebody look?
It was very impressive, but there was nothing on the screen
afterwards. It's not worth much because I
can't do anything about it anymore.
So time your feedback as well. So do not wait three months,
five months, a year. Try to be on point with your
feedback so when it's needed share it basic.
Yeah, and I think you just answered Ivana's question, which
is how often to give feedback as soon as possible, don't wait and
how to give feedback on sensitive topics.
Well, I, I would only imagine what can be a sensitive topic.
And there are sometimes topics that giving feedback is even
more uncomfortable. So because it's about how
somebody behaves, not professionally, but but
basically in your relationships. And I must say that for me,
usually it's just be honest. Don't keep it for yourself.
I had a problem with one of the people I worked with because I
respect someone's personal space and I expect that to be done for
myself. But some people are like, you
know, touching so. And somebody was all the time
coming from the back, grabbing my arms and everything.
And I just look, I respect you, but I don't like you touching me
all the time because we are not that close yet and it makes me
inconvenient. So after a year or two, when we
got to know each other, it didn't bother me anymore.
But at the beginning of the relationship it was quite
strange for me. And I know that is also a
cultural thing, because myself as a Polish guy might have a
little bit more distance if I was suffering from another
country, from another region, maybe it was, would be normal
for me, but it wasn't. So I, I just went along with it
and I said very politely, very calmly, but still to the point.
Yeah. And, you know, I could also see
where, you know, if I was a woman and it was a man that came
up and put their hands on me, I would want to make sure that I
gave that feedback very timely. I'm really not comfortable.
Yeah. With you touching me like that.
I you know, so just please know that I don't, it's not
appreciated. You can find ways to give that
feedback so that what's important to you is conveyed to
them, and then how they receive it is how they receive it.
Exactly. And you know, I said in the
beginning, facts, You say you touch me a lot.
It makes me uncomfortable, so it won't.
It makes me want to not get in touch with you all so often.
So if you would could stop that for the moment because we are
not so close, I would be really grateful.
Yeah. And that's still polite and
that's still OK. And I know there will be more
sensitive matters. Somebody failed your
expectations, somebody did something wrong to you and so
on. But keeping it all to yourself
usually is not a solution. Sometimes we say about time, if
somebody's grieving or somebody's in a bad, bad shape,
maybe that's not a great time for feedback because it won't be
appreciated. It might not even be heard.
Sometimes you need to hold back for a moment, even if it angers
you, even if it frustrates you. Yes, Yeah, totally agree.
Yeah. All right, so let's see.
Well, I think we are at the end of our time together.
Boy, this sounded like the feedback that our audience
needed today on giving and receiving feedback.
And yeah, I, I think I'm just going to pop this comment up
really quickly. This is from Harmeet.
I think negative feedback is important, especially in the
work that we do. If accepted as learning and it's
discussed properly, it helps you to build stakeholder trust,
which is ultimately the business that we're in.
We are in a trust business and I think our stakeholders need to
know that we give feedback, we give information from a good
place because we want to improve the relationship, the project,
the organization. So I think that's why this is
really critical that we know how to do this.
Exactly how we listen to our stakeholders while we get along.
Look, you can do a perfect job, but if you want to build a
relationship, the project probably will fail.
Yeah, that's my learning from the years past.
Yeah, I agree. All right.
Well, Pavel, it has been really lovely to see you again and to
talk to you again because you I, I think, really put this into
perspective for folks in a way that I know when I heard you
giving this talk, I thought I can do that.
Yeah, I, I know how to do all of those things that he has
suggested that we do to give good feedback.
I can do that. So I knew that our audience
would really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
It was a huge pleasure, Susan. Yes, and happy holidays to you.
Happy holidays. Yeah, take care.
Thanks again. All right.
Well, that's it. Maybe you're thinking about some
things that you can take away with giving and receiving
feedback and that you can put into practice today.
I hope so. This really does help to make
our relationships, not only with our stakeholders, but with our
family, our friends. It really can help on all
levels. Well, I'm going to see you again
in two weeks. It's going to be New Year's Eve
and it's time for another best of business analysis live.
What do you think our top five episodes were from this past
year? Well, you'll have to listen in
and find out. Hey, I want to thank all of you
for joining us. And I wish you and all of your
family and friends a very happy holiday season.
Take care. Do you have any questions,
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