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Hi, everyone. 
It's Breon. 

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And I'm back for episode 5 of 
the lesbian dating app disasters

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podcast. 
Wow. 

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I have a whole hand of episodes 
now, and when I tell y'all life 

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be life in. 
So here's to choosing self 

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practicing in maintaining 
balance practicing consistency. 

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So many things, but I have not 
forgotten about this little baby

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that I've created. 
I have more listeners and other 

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countries. 
So welcome, thank you. 

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So much, can't believe that 
still the first four episodes 

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have gone as well as they have. 
So, let's jump into this story 

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today. 
So this woman I do not remember 

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her name. 
I did not remember her name when

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I got to her house and just 
know, I don't even really 

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remember what she looked like, 
but this woman was the okay. 

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So back story, I had a 
girlfriend, we live together 

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things. 
Hit the fan shortly after we 

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moved in. 
And when things were finally 

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finally over, like truly split 
this, The first woman that I 

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could find that would that I 
felt remotely interested in, and

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I remember going on the her app 
and it was maybe about say nine 

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between like 9 and 10, we 
started messaging by 1 a.m. 

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I was at her house, you know, 
because lesbian shit moves 

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quick. 
And I don't know how we were 

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both just so trusting that this 
was not going to go awry but I 

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ended up in her home. 
She was local to where I was. 

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I was living up in Ann Arbor at 
the time I get there she's like 

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off in the college campus area. 
So her home was really modern 

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cute. 
Living room cute. 

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She had roommates but because it
was about 1:00 in the morning, 

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everyone was asleep. 
Cool. 

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Love a sneaky. 
E-link. 

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We sit on the couch, we Bond 
over watching Broad City. 

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We watched maybe an episode of 
Broad City smoke a little weed 

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and then you know that that 
moment happens where it's should

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we go to your room now? 
Should we like, do you want to 

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stay here on the couch? 
Like what's the deal sis? 

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We go to her room. 
And you would think, even though

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this was so sudden and abrupt, 
like you had a little notice, 

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you had maybe a solid 40 minutes
before I got there. 

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You would think she would clean 
her room? 

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She did not, she did not green 
her room. 

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It was a pigsty. 
The rest of the house was 

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beautiful, which told me like 
this wasn't like, there's a 

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community of people that like, 
keep this. 

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Area like a certain way and 
maybe like everyone else is 

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rooms just like do girl do that.
Everyone does their own thing 

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but I'm already here so I'm like
all right let me just get in and

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get out so we're kissing. 
It was not good. 

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I remember it being like very 
dry almost like kissing a fish. 

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And her her, you know, when you 
meet someone and you hook up 

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with someone in the intent, the 
attraction is so like intense 

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that, you know, when their body 
touches yours, it's almost like 

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electric or people when you're 
with someone and your body just 

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fits so well and there's this 
was not it. 

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This was not it at all. 
I was awkward and clunky and I 

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also couldn't stop thinking 
about your room. 

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Umm, it's like I'm looking at 
Coke cans, Coca-Cola, cans, and,

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and papers, and just clutter in 
this, by dark dingy room. 

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It did not match the rest of 
the, like, essence of the home, 

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and it's just like, uh, she 
might have been a college kid. 

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I mean I wasn't in college at 
this time. 

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I couldn't. 
I don't remember. 

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So we're kissing clothes. 
Come off. 

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And she tells me. 
As we are both laying their 

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booty butt naked, not naked 
naked. 

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That she has never slept with a 
woman before. 

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I get all the way naked and you 
go to tell me you have never 

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slept with a woman before. 
And I, I don't know. 

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I don't know what I'm supposed 
to do. 

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If I get up and leave. 
It's like ah why would you get 

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up and leave? 
But like staying was not 

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appealing especially when I look
back on it. 

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Like if you haven't slept with a
woman before I'm not really 

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looking to be the first one for 
you. 

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That's not that's not something 
that I'm trying to be. 

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I don't want to be I don't know 
II. 

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And after this Situation. 
I have refused to be that for 

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any any woman. 
I just don't know. 

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And no, that's just I don't want
that burden or I don't. 

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Is it a burden? 
I don't know what it is, but 

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whatever piece of like life that
holds and emotions. 

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I don't want it. 
So She says this and I say, 

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okay, have you kissed a woman 
before? 

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She's just like, yeah, a couple 
times when I was so drunk and 

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I'm just like, how did I get 
here? 

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How did you get me here? 
And you don't actually like 

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sleep with women like, or at, 
you know, at that point it 

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wasn't an active piece of your 
life and I don't remember how 

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the conversation went. 
I would probably have to like I 

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don't even think I have, I don't
have an account anymore that I 

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could like activate. 
But we must not have, you know, 

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sent bold text messages or, you 
know, messages on the app 

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because I would have figured it 
out, you know, if you would, you

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can't be bold in a text ma'am. 
Then that's going, that might 

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show me what I need to see. 
So I'm faced with the decision. 

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Do I leave dress? 
Take my leave dress. 

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I do, I leave. 
Do I stay. 

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I stayed. 
And it had some of the worst 

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sex. 
I think that was the start of 

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us. 
The slew of women. 

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That was that was the start of 
really bad sex. 

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Really like women, that were not
emotionally connected to 

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themselves, not emotionally 
available so many, so many 

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things. 
The the pattern of women that I 

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started to come into my life. 
That weren't exactly. 

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Who I was looking for. 
I'm not gonna say like, who 

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know? 
They just weren't who I was 

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looking for, but I still 
entertain them. 

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Hence, why I started this show 
and I don't remember. 

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I remember, going down on her in
my listening to her and I was 

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like, I don't, I don't feel 
this. 

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Like this does not feel good to 
me. 

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I've never been a person that's 
really good at random hookups 

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or, like one night stands or 
anything like that because I 

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want to like, know you or 
something. 

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You know, I want to have some 
sort of I don't know, rope 

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tether pull something to you 
that that that's that's what you

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know would draw me in and making
that makes me want to do, do the

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sex to you and that just wasn't 
there and it's it was such a 

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concept. 
I don't know if I wrote about it

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after that, I was like, Hey, did
I just take her like gay 

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virginity even though? 
Virginity is a social construct,

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we all know this. 
Like what did I just did? 

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I just do that and like I don't 
even know what she thought. 

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I don't even really know she 
thought about it because she sex

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is happening. 
She claimed she you know, had an

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orgasm, I think it was bogus. 
I've heard enough for them to 

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hear you know, a fake one and 
like If you could also look at 

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it, like, well, but of that, 
this one, if you really doing 

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this, this and this, but I 
didn't, she didn't deserve any 

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of the works of any kind, you 
know? 

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Like girl, you just like con 
artist calm, man. 

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Me and this man in this mug, 
like, I'm really just trying, 

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not to be rude at this point. 
She tried to do sex to my body. 

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I would just feel like that. 
It's my current Frazee that I 

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like to use and I just like, no,
no, no. 

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I didn't even want her to touch 
me. 

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I remember laying. 
And looking up at the ceiling. 

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Just straight boarding like my 
whole body, not moving, just 

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being like, I want to get out of
here and I remember her asked 

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me. 
She said, are you okay? 

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And I was like, yeah. 
And then I like, Got put my 

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clothes on and I left, and I 
never spoke to her again. 

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I never messaged her. 
I think I would hope that she 

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knew that that was not, that was
not it. 

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And one decision on my part, 
like I was just so hurt, so 

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lost, so sad and just trying to 
find Feeling in another person 

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that I you know went and hooked 
up with someone that just felt 

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completely wrong to be there. 
What does I'm? 

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What a time. 
Yes, it's woman. 

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Waited up until we were a booty 
butt naked to say she had never 

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done anything sexual with a 
woman and I had to be either 

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first one and I was coming out 
of like a relationship and it 

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was this was like my biggest 
relationship. and, you know, I 

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don't even I don't even think in
this is just being, you know, 

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constructive criticism towards. 
So I mean, I don't even think 

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that I was all of that at that 
point, like I was very much, 

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still navigating different types
of women. 

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Different types of wants 
different levels and, you know, 

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if, you know, you know, where 
all that stuff flies. 

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So it's just like, I hope I 
didn't sour her on women or 

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hooking up with women but that 
just wasn't a good situation 

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like just there was no genuine 
attraction, it was just kind of 

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like you want to hook up. 
You want to hook up. 

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Okay, let's hook up. 
And to be so fast and I don't 

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want to use the word desperate, 
but like, that's the only word I

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can think about. 
And, oh, it's just tragic. 

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Tragic, tragic, tragic to think 
about So yeah. 

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That isn't time that I hooked up
with this woman who waited until

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we were no clothes to say, she 
ain't never hooked up with a 

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woman. 
And me realizing in this moment 

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that that was the start of all 
of the women situations that 

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have happened to me through at 
thus far. 

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Wow. 
Wow. 

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Wow. 
Thank you all so much for 

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listening to episode 5 of the 
lesbian dating app disasters, 

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podcast. 
That is all for this episode. 

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I think we're and by we I mean 
it's just me. 

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I want to start to incorporate, 
guess into the show, so we'll 

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see when we can get some Other 
stories. 

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So if you have a story in you 
would like to submit 

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anonymously. 
I think I would like to hear 

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those stories. 
I just need to figure out how 

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you can get it to me anonymously
and I will read them on out 

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loud, like, you know, like a 90s
radio show. 

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And see where that goes. 
I would love love to hear 

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stories from all over the world,
like, fourteen plus countries 

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like double digits High Teens, 
maybe even 20 countries. 

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Now I would love to hear Global 
lesbian and queer stories 

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because wowza, it is a time. 
It is such a time. 

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So again, thank you all so much 
for listening. 

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I'll talk to He said, bye. 
He said, bye.