My Lord and my Count, I firmly believe that you are here, that
you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound
reverence. I ask you for a pardon of my
sins and grace to make this time of prayer fruitful.
My mother, Immaculate St Joseph, my father and Lord, and my
guardian Angel in deceitful. Well, here we are in our last
day of preparation for Lent. That's Wednesday tomorrow and
there's two things I think we could examine and pray about to
prepare ourselves for for Lent. And the first is our the most
importantly is our heart, because maybe in a way, the
greatest danger when we come to Lent is that we approach it in a
superficial way. This was most of us when we were
kids. We gave up sweets, which for our
kid is really quite heroic, at least I, I'm sorry, heroic.
I said he gave giving him sweets and and that was great for a
little kid. But the danger is that the
danger is that we don't really go any deeper than that.
We did when we were 10 years old because when we were ten, it was
really just you give up something for Lent and, and that
was it. And there's a danger for us that
we might approach it. And it kind of not much deeper
than that. I give up something for Lent.
And actually, we're still and, and, and certainly not even as
as admirable as when we were little children giving out
sweets is that we're giving out things and treating Lent like
just 40 days of a health farm because, well, I'm gonna, yeah,
I'll lose a couple of kilos or I'll give up the smokes or I'll
do something healthy. And therefore what's kind of the
real pity about it is then I'll make, I'll make Lent useful.
It'll actually serve a purpose. And I'll, I'll end up, you know,
trimmer or whatever. And we, and I think there is a
change. I think a lot of people actually
tend to approach it like that. And even we have Ash Wednesday
as a very clever campaign, give up smokes for Ash Wednesday.
And you see these photographs of the, the ashes and A and a
cigarette, which is kind of clever, maybe a little bit, a
little bit cheeky, but but they're kind of saying, look,
you know, obviously last Wednesday means nothing.
So let's make it, make it let let us make it mean something
and something useful. And what's useful is that we
look after health, we get more healthy or even even kind of,
you could say more lifestyle healthy.
I say no LES, or I'll cut down on the phone.
And because I realise I have to do that and I, I, I watch too
much YouTube videos or I'm addicted to shorts and, and
therefore, yes, I'll, I'll use lent to help me to cut down.
And then something that's said actually in the liturgy on Ash
Wednesday could certainly be said of us.
In that case, let your heart be torn, not your garments.
This, this tendency obviously that the Jews had in certainly
their Old Testament that that they're very superficial about
this. The the rending of the garments
was a sign of penance. It was a sign of kind of
reparation and seeing something as we see Jesus, of course, that
at various times the Pharisees rent their garments when, when
you said that you were equated with God the Father, things like
that. They rent the garments and well,
they had a little, a little hem that that was easy to RIP.
They'd kind of lightly stitched. They could stitch it back
together kind of early Velcro you could say.
And that was what that's what they were doing.
But the God gives out that you're you're you're big into
tearing your garments, but you don't tear your heart.
Let your heart be broken, not your garments rent might be
another way of putting it. Let your heart be broken because
the garments are the epitome of superficial on the surface
superficia, our superfacia, so, so on the face, but on the
surface of things is our garments and for the Pharisees
or, or not just the viruses and gotta say, it's all on the
surface for you and you, you know, I know what I'm interested
in is your heart and let your heart be broken.
Contrition is the breaking of heart.
And, and so there, you know, you know, let your heart be, be
taken care of, not your not your mental hygiene or your physical
hygiene. It's about your heart.
It was much deeper. So and it's just that it's a
little warning, I I suppose that we could approach Lent in this
kind of very utilitarian kind of way.
And there's nothing wrong with, with cutting down on, on our
Internet coverage kind of usage or, you know, this slimming down
or whatever it might be. But that is not what it is
about. And you can do that any day of
the year, whereas that's not what Lent is about in the
slightest. And so there is a kind of danger
for us, this danger of being quite superficial.
And that and, and, and again, and you see it in, and I think
it's again and tomorrow in the readings.
Isaiah, look, you do business on your fast days.
You oppress all your workmen. Look, you quarrel and squabble
when you fast and strike the poor man with their fist.
Very dramatic image. The guy's fasting and whatever
rigorous, probably very rigorous fasting, and yet at the same
time quarrelling, squabbling and even striking people with their
fist. Now we don't do that by much
anymore, primarily because the rules about this kind of thing
are very, the laws are very strict and we'll end up in in
prison if we if we strike someone with our fist.
However, we've no problem striking people with our words.
And now it's our words and even our mental words, our thoughts,
which become our fist. And we can strike people all we
like on, on, on non fast days and and also on Ash Wednesday
and every other day of Lent. And our fists can be hard at
work striking people and where where is the heart?
So the person fasting again, God completely look, this does this
fast doesn't get to to your heart.
It doesn't change anything. And and and that that is seen in
using these mental fists of of ours to strike people again.
Again, we can be pummeling people all day long with these
mental fists of ours. And so it's something in fact,
that Pope Leo in his message for Lent, he's he's come up with, he
said, you know, we don't normally think of of a fast of
our words, but but he suggests that we do this.
He says I would. I would like to invite you to a
very practical and frequently unappreciated form of
abstinence, that of refraining from words that offend and hurt
our neighbour. Let us begin by disarming our
language, avoiding harsh words and rash judgement, refraining
from slander and speaking out of those who are not present and
cannot defend themselves. That's much more the heart and,
and even just kind of even rash judgement.
So things that are never even spoken out loud.
They're mental words that are formed at the fist at the
striking. But it's all in in our in our
mind. And you know, it's very
interesting, this underappreciated or
unappreciated form of abstinence.
Let's abstain. Let's just try because that's
directly the heart and and we can imagine the new Lord could
see us otherwise we could be fasting away and feeling very
kind of happy with ourselves. Tommy rumbles and Ash Wednesday
and oh, look at that. I'm going to die.
Great. And yet our our fists are hard
at work in, in, in striking people.
And again, our Lord went to say, well, that kind of fast is
nothing. Nothing.
It's not reaching the heart. In the Old Testament, in
Deuteronomy, it talks about the testing in the desert, the 40
years in the desert, and God explaining why they spent 40
years in the desert. You should remember all the way
which the Lord your God has LED you these 40 years in the
wilderness that He might humble you, testing you to know what
was in your hearts. It's kind of very interesting
testing you so that you would know what's in your heart.
And there also, I suppose with that, that you wouldn't be very
impressed with what's in your heart and that your heart would
be broken as a result. Contrition, because there's no
contrition, obviously, but we don't see anything to be
contrite about. You know, that's obviously very
much expressed when we come to confession that, well, you know,
I'm not very contrite and, and, you know, actually just going
through the motions here. I'm not actually sorry for
anything. And that that might be it.
And, and the 40 years of testing that you might know what is in
your hearts. And I think that's something
that we could certainly ask you, Lord, on this eve of Ash
Wednesday, let me to know what's in my heart.
So it's such a very crucial thing.
Let me to know what's in my heart that if I were to see it
now, it would not be such a huge surprise for me.
Oh my gosh, look what is in my heart.
That's why examination of conscience, of course, is so
important for us because it's quite, I think it's quite hard
to know what's in our heart. And the 40 years, basically
Deuteronomy is saying there was 40 years was like a big
examination of conscience for the Jewish people to know what
was in their hearts. And when you look at it, what
was in their hearts. It's kind of interesting because
one of the things that was in the heart was a hankering after
slavery. This already comes from bread.
The second kind of theme, they're hankering after slavery
because remember, certainly at least twice when there there are
things that get fed up with the manna and there's a word
nauseated by this manna, which is amazing.
Heaven comes from heaven. We're nauseated by this, this
manna and they start hankering after, which is kind of funny,
the cucumbers and the onions of Egypt.
It's kind of a funny thing. I wouldn't hanker after
cucumbers and onions, but they're hankering after those,
those things. Oh, you know, why do we ever
leave Egypt? Why don't we just stay there
with those wonderful cucumbers and, and, and onions and
whatever else they had there. And it's an amazing thing
hankering after just the the food they had.
And they would they would gladly exchange their freedom for for
the slavery as long as they had that food, that interesting food
and not this boring manner. And that's kind of like for for
us too, that the bread part of of of Lent, if you like, again,
Deuteronomy and he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you
with manna, which you did not know.
So that's kind of mysterious thing.
You did not know, nor did your father know that he might make
you know that man does not live by bread alone, but that that
man lives by everything that proceeds from the mouth of the
Lord. It's kind of interesting what
it's kind of hard. What does that mean?
And of course, there's something that that's repeated those,
those words verbatim are repeated and that other 40,
which is the 40 days of Jesus in the Lent in, in the, in the the
wilderness, which is the first, you know, archetypal Lent.
And, and very didberly, Jesus refers back to that.
Did the devil's temptation turn these stones into loaves and and
and Jesus rebuts them with you don't live by by by bread alone
alone we need bread but our our great temptation.
This is a thing and and and clearly some of the the
Israelites have to learn which you Jesus had to rebuff the
devil with and which we have to learn that bread is not enough.
The delights that come from bread, which represents, you
know, it's very such a basic, basic, basic thing and it
represents all, the kind of every, all the contents of the
garden of earthly delights. Because God has given us so many
earthly delights from bread and other kind of food.
I know you can think of our, our, our favourite food, which
we miss so much, especially tomorrow, you know, Oh, I would
love to have a big cappuccino tomorrow morning.
You know, I, you know, I'd love to have a great big dessert,
great things. But you know, we're not going to
have a great big dessert to we'll have a bit of a dessert
tomorrow or whatever. We're not going to start listing
off the things you're not going to have tomorrow.
But but, and through, through Lent, you know, the sense of the
earthly delights which kind of present themselves as their only
source of real happiness. So food, drink, entertainment on
my phone and popularity in some way on, on, on online, all those
things which are kind of are everybody differs, you know,
more kind of the, all the earthly delights, but not all
my, you have a, you know, kind of a smoke.
That's, that's my, you know, that's my real, that's my
earthly delight. People talk in terms now of
dopamine. That's kind of the currency, you
could say, but all the dopamine producing delights and the and
again, the problem that the thing we have to learn, like the
Israelites have to learn. You don't live by them alone.
They're they give you this rush of dopamine and you think that's
enough for my happiness, but it is not.
And we have to learn that and how do we learn it is what what
our Lord is telling us. How do the how do the Israelites
learn to escape from slavery? It wasn't running out over the
over the Red Sea. And you know, when Moses they
had another 40 years to go to learn that that had been
slavery. It's funny, funny that they
didn't know and it and it takes them all that under hankering
and and Moses doesn't allow them to give in to their hankering
and return to slavery, which might have done.
And so the same thing with us. We have to go to, you've got to
say, cold Turkey and kind of reveal or expose that cappuccino
or that cigarette or that great dessert or that YouTube short or
that purchase or whatever it might be in this vast garden of
earthly delights which kind of wants to present itself as your
God. Well, little G, but still, you
can't live without me. Saint Agustin in his confessions
when he is really on the road to conversion, but he's not there
yet. I don't have the passage, but
it's very memorable because he of course worries his things and
probably not the only one, but his sensuality, especially in
sexual matters. But he, he's, he's, he's, he
does not have the, the virtue of holy purity and he doesn't want
it, you know, like maybe pure, but not yet.
But then he has this kind of vision, the way he sees it.
He, he's, he, he, he says that these things, his sensuality
comes plucking at the garments of his flesh, saying, do you
really think you can live without us?
And so that's the that's the scene that you, all of us have
to go. And he was going to do in a cold
Turkey and the and the garments, the the the sensuality coming
along, plucking at his flesh as he says, saying, don't don't
dare think you can live without me.
Don't dare think you can live without the dopamine rush that I
give you. And that wouldn't be for us.
You know, that just might be the well the the the big dessert are
are the Netflix series that comes plucking at our flesh.
Do you think you can live without watching the next
episode? So all that kind of stuff and
our so our flesh has been plucked at the whole time in.
In other words, I'm a little God for you.
You can't really live without me.
And that's why Jesus, you quote that line.
Of course, Lord, we man does not live by and you can fill fill
in. I can fill in X alone.
There may be various exes. There's cappuccinos, desserts,
Netflix series, YouTube shorts, 9 hours in bed.
Whatever it is, you can fit it in my utter necessity.
I can't live without that. And so this is a liberation from
slavery when we see it and and again, you know, 40 years of
Moses, it's very deliberate. Jesus in goes in into the
wilderness himself for 40 years. Because he's showing you, Lord
are are Moses Ledius out not for 40 years, but for 40 days out
into a wilderness where we don't have, you know, any, any
Internet connection, where we don't have cappuccinos, where we
don't have lovely delicious food, that kind of wilderness.
Not saying that we don't do any of those things obviously in
Lent, but certainly that they all take a hit or whatever is in
my little God, we'll take a hit, a big hit.
And that is you, Lord, leading us out into the desert and not
just saying to the devil, but kind of reminding us, hey, look,
you know, one of the reasons you're out here in the desert
with me for 40 days is I'm freeing you from that slavery
sling you from your Egypt and your Pharaoh.
But that that hold that these things have over us very subtle
and we don't even realise it until we try to tug away.
Remember, this is our father quoting St.
John of the Cross. Perhaps the eagle is fettered by
an iron chain or fettered by a thread.
Makes no difference if there if the eagle is not going to break
the thread, it's as good as an iron chain.
And we might say, well, that thing that my my attachment,
that bread for me is not very big.
I couldn't break it whenever I want.
Well, until you do, it's an iron shame.
It's kind of it's it's it's one free reason free is that the the
eagle feathered by an iron chain.
So our Lord is coming and saying, well, break your I'm
going to break your chains. The chains of slavery have you
to get freedom from this idea that you do live by bread alone
that these things are utterly indispensable for your happiness
and our refusal to leave or Egypt or or hankery after going
back like the Israelites grumbling excuse me Cassian, one
of the fathers church. He says we must weaken the flesh
so that the soul may recover. It's freedom and it's funny.
I think we do have that bit of that sense, you know, as lend
goes on, you know, and we've kind of and again this not again
just kind of lifestyle hygiene. It was much deeper than that.
That what what starts happening. I think I think we all have this
experience with that. I think we begin to take more
delight in things of our Lord, more delight even in our prayer
and more delight in liturgy. I think of Holy Week, you know,
as soon as we get there, kind of you kind of, yeah, this is, this
is as good as all that bread. This is a delight, a very a
different delight. And we have to remember that is
the focus. Lent actually ends not on Easter
Sunday. It ends on Holy Thursday.
It's kind of very interesting. We got there.
That's that's, that's our destination.
Holy Thursday, Easter Trichium, the Paschal mystery, because
that is what is that's what our our Lord is saying.
Look, you know, I'm leaving you out into this wilderness, but so
that you would be with me in my Paschal mystery, my death,
suffering, death and resurrection, you would join me
and we will be inseparable. But we can't be inseparable at
the moment because your heart is all over the place.
You don't desire it, you don't want it.
You want these other things. So it's very important that we
do have that, you know, very clear in our mind.
Lent leads us to the Paschal mystery.
That's where we're going. And we go through the death.
You're with you, Lord, through your death on Good Friday to the
resurrection on Sunday. But the whole Paschal mystery is
where Lent is leading, which is why I suppose you know, things
like meditating the way of the cross one way or another, you
know, whether we may be bringing up enough prayer and do it on
Fridays or something. We're important now that as the
focus. And again, there's not this
naturalistic kind of Lent slimming lifestyle hygiene, no,
because that's got nothing to do the past chemistry.
So something very different. The one aspiration, I think that
we could perhaps say, because it kind of sums it all up in a way,
is that aspiration that our father put on those, that those
kind of little tiles on the, on his bedroom wall, quoting maybe
it's Saint Francis, the sails, but it's a it's a quote from
some St earlier. Separate me, Lord, from anything
that separates me from you. So it's in Spanish on the on the
wall, but there it is. And you obviously see that very
often separate me, Lord, from anything that separates me from
you. And I think that's a good way to
approach Lent because we don't know what our little gods are.
Again, that's part of our kind of, you know, exposing to the 40
days of, of Lent that we actually see where, where a
heart is, is, you know, gosh, I never realised it was so
attached to whatever. I never realised this meant so
much to me that I'm hankering after onions, you know, who
would have thought? But I've got a big thing about
onions and who would have known, you know, and this kind of
embarrassing, gosh, such a a kind of thing about onions is
kind of embarrassing. Take away from you, Lord,
Whatever takes me away from you. We could say that, Lord, because
I'd I'm not really sure what are the what are these little gods
that do take me away from you? I'm not sure.
My sensuality, my laziness, my whatever and I and I'm not even
sure what they are, but I'm giving you a blank cheque.
Especially, you know, Ash Wednesday.
We we tried to write that blank cheque.
Lord, I, I don't know what figure to write in there in
little gap when back when we used to write cheques, right,
sell them now. But you know, there's, there's a
I'm not writing in the number because I'm not really sure what
the number should be. But here's a blank cheque, Lord
and help me over the course of lent.
I'm going to see, you know what it is that you or maybe it's
very several things you want me to eventually put in the in in
in there or Lord that you write or whatever it is and even the
things could be attachments to things.
My little God, you know, there are possessions.
And again, we kind of made daring and say, Lord, if you
don't want that me to have that little possession, take it away.
It's yours over the course of the Lent, take it away,
whatever. But if you don't want me to have
this little delight, take it away, whatever separates me from
you, so that by the time we come to the Paschal mystery, I will
really be so close to you. And again, I think we do have
the joy of that. And then obviously the great joy
of the resurrection and Easter, that we've really gone through
it, not just the Paschal mystery, but this whole 40 days
with our Lord. It's very important with our
Lord anyway, we, since we're refugees in a way, we're like
the the Israelites are refugees from slavery, from Pharaoh, from
the, the flesh pots of Egypt. They're refugees.
And then likewise, we want to start being refugees tomorrow
and taking refuge from our our sin from us and those, those God
gods that are plucky in our flesh saying you can't, you
can't really don't think you're going to leave me.
And then as refugees, we go to Our Lady refuge of sinners and
ask her, just help us because we are, we are very small.
We are little children, really. We are very weak.
And you know, sometimes we find it very hard to even the
simplest things. You know, it's sometimes it,
we're kind of surprised. God, Lord, you know, even our
father said that at times, you know, that his, his love for
chocolate and things like that, you know, he's amazed.
So anyway, we ask Our Lady, refugees, sinners, help us as we
begin this Lenten campaign. I give you thanks, my God, for
the good resolutions, affections, and inspirations you
have communicated to me in this meditation.
I ask you for help to put them into effect.
My mother, Immaculate St Joseph, my father and Lord, my guardian
Angel, intercede for me.