Hello there and welcome to the world of Pokemon.
My name is Professor, Jacob. And thank you so much for
joining my lecture on Pokemon biology.
Joining me here in the classroom.
Today is, of course, my wonderful teaching assistant,
mr. Curtis say load everybody.
Mr. Curtis, oh, why thank you Professor.
I am so happy to be here today. I I can't wait to see my boy
Perry. Again, just really bring it
home. This tell I mean he's the he's
the guidance counselor right? I don't think he needs a
hopefully he's busy he's there he's got a full Perry the
society because a full roster of work today, look he's starting
his job look. Okay, last week was training
this week. He's I know this because I take
him to school every day in my basket.
My bike. So today, this is he starting.
He's starting this week, man. If he starting this, I would be
excused. To draw.
Well, he's already, he's all of his appointments already booked.
I've tried so many times to just, you know, I feel like
Perry really gets me and he won't all of those.
All of those are Corbin by those.
Yeah. I mean, I'm going through a lot
of problems at home. I mean I guess if Barry thinks
you need the extra tension, that's fine.
I just I just wanted I just know I think I need it because I
don't have a dad. You do have a dad.
Everybody has a dad for me. You just don't know who he is.
I've never Seen him before but this is the young lad fellow
here that you're hearing is of course our trainer and training
Corbin the student in classroom. So go ahead and say get in to
introduce yourself. Formally their Corbin.
I want my dad. He never came back.
Hey listen, save it for all your monopolizing of Perry's time.
Okay, I don't get my motions tended to.
So you don't either. That's not how that works.
Imagine going around the world and saying, hey, you didn't
receive therapy. I didn't receive therapy.
So you shouldn't either. That's right.
Like saying I had a hard life and therefore your life Should
also be hard exactly like that. Yeah, different at.
That's how that's how Persians live.
That's how a Persian world would work.
That's right. They're awful.
I walked up hill to Miles both ways to get to school every day.
I know you did. That's right.
Well, you're what you did today, it's right.
Is it snowing? Because you're in school now?
No I didn't snow just just uphill both ways to in space
know. You are that in your brain.
Sorry. Is there something old?
People always say, is happy with ways, you know, 10 feet of snow
the field of meta pods and jump over a client.
We had to bring its tail. I had to bring my Poké Flute
every day because the Snorlax would just fall asleep directly
in the path. Way, I could not an enemy Dro
would sting my body and I had to walk all the way to class.
I'll beat the Beedrill sucks my ass every problem with be
drills. Everything else.
Everything else you said Rings. True.
Yeah, everything Rings true. There is just the betrayals know
that if they fuck with me they get the web.
So get the web. They get the way around.
Like a real, right? All right.
Well, we're not talking about b0.
We're not talking about person. We're not talking about Psyduck
as anybody know who we are talking about today.
Oh, you said it last week, it's the Golden Duck, you know.
Okay, so it's name is gold duck. Not Golden Duck and it's not
gold, duck. It's just gold.
At: Duck:, don't know. Now, goal duck.
Go doc. Yeah.
Okay, Golduck. Gotcha.
I think I still feel like you're pronouncing the D at Gold.
It's either Golduck or gold. It's gold.
That's what it is.
Sure. You know what?
That's fine. If And if either of you smelt
like that, I will take off points in the pop quiz.
I was spoiler alert. That Kurt is a pop quiz here
that all. Damn it.
I know something happened, it's rare, it's rare that I do them
but so yeah, make sure you take an extra extra good notes today.
I always take good news. So, take exact dictations, he
does everything you do even when you're not in the classroom,
even even when it's not me, who's talking, and he is writing
down to what he says during down with Corbin says he just read
the right documents the world around them, that's right.
All right, okay. So you guys have all seen, by
the way, Golduck of all is from Psyduck, I didn't say I was
worried because I thought was obvious but just in case Psyduck
revolves in the goal deck, does anybody think we seen a gold
duck before their become my own swimming along lakes and slow
moving Rivers. I mean once I saw I saw part of
one most part of its tail when I was swimming in a pond once but
wait, hold on. Let me Going to evolve Perry.
I don't really you know what? I feel like he's going to change
as a as a being like I don't want to personality change if
you evolve on, can you, can we leave him alone?
I don't. Listen, I don't evolved Pokémon.
All right, to evolve a Pokemon, you have to train them, and you
have to hang up your friend them, and that's just not my
relationship with Pokemon to me, Pokemon are subjects to study.
All right, so if a Pokémon evolve as well, I own it, then
that's great. But I'm not gonna go out of my
way to evolve anybody. And to that point I've brought
with me a different Pokemons different goals, Chuck.
Oh okay. Okay, so it's not Perry.
Not Perry. It's not Perry know.
So I'm gonna go ahead, give you guys a look C at this Golduck,
this one, okay, we're leaving out.
This is a fairly safe Pokemon to deal with good, it's good.
It's not gonna breathe fire. It's not gonna like, you know.
Okay, attack you for no reason so.
So let's take a look at this Golduck.
Okay, he's kind of cute. No, I'm just kidding.
I was just kidding. There's nothing.
There. There's nothing going on.
I was just, I was just teasing listeners at home.
The other students you know, there's nothing happening or no
craziness the gold on now is he's fine.
He's fine. There are pretty.
It was just a harmless joke, a jump-scare.
If you look at these guys, look, look, you don't want to anger
this dude right here. You see the webbing here?
Let me, I'll hold his hand out and to see the webbing in,
between his fingers. You don't want that / in you.
You know, about can't interlock. This, you can't interlock your
fingers, mr. Curtis, his webbing in between
is so you see, you can only, you can only pancake.
Cake. That's right.
Holding you can't waffle. I pancake pancake, go Ducks all
the time. Hey, can we have waffles and
class? That I know.
So, okay, so tell me. So yes, it has webbed webbed
hands and also has webbed feet. Anything else that you notice
about about Golduck here, does he shoot web to is that he has
webbing in between his own eyes, your only crime Pokemon can
shoot web. I mean, you know?
Yeah, when it comes to like webbing on And feet.
It's like it's like a little bit of skin that connects the two
digits. That's to give them more surface
area to make their swimming easier.
So you'll see that on a lot of different, you know, water type
Pokemon Pokemon spent a lot of time in the water.
Okay. That's a water Pokemon.
Do that make sense. Yeah and other Pokémon that
spend a lot of time that sounds the same.
If you wash it if you if you rub the skin right here it feels is
very smooth. Getting very you're getting very
attached to this Bolduc. Mr. Herod has you know it's
cursed it's almost like you're begging action for it to attack
you for some reason. No no I was just Golduck is so
well-behaved aren't you Golduck. Don't mr.
Ghosn you smacked SAS. Did you hear that?
Wait who smacked? What know?
I don't know. I wasn't looking but I
definitely heard some cheeks clapping.
That's right. I wasn't me.
Listen, I have I should if I expressed how much I love that
Golduck and he just gave it right back to me.
Yeah, he smacks you in the face will lie.
It's solely concerned, full consent role on the cheeks,
okay? Double smoke.
How about you? Not about you?
Not about, you're not touch the touch, the touch of Pokemon
anymore. Mr. Curtis to leave him alone.
Of course, I believe you have a question.
Yes, is gold. Duck closely related to Persian
at all? Now, why would you say that
Corvin? There is a strange-looking zit
in between its eyes. I can't the gem gem week.
This one is a gym to yes. Yes, it's Wait, Persian out of
gem as well, right? They okay, yeah.
It seems like Arceus kind of got into a Vibe when it came to
these Pokemon. He's like, hmm, gem on.
Forehead gem on forehead, that does nothing.
Okay, completely uses for heavy forehead gem, are we going to
learn anything about this gym? Maybe has some to do with its
psychic powers that it had when it was a side.
We the Pokedex is, will mention the gym, okay?
I'll let you be the judge of whether or not.
It's actually useful information, whatever.
Ask a question about. If the Pokédex will tell us
something the answer is usually no, oh yeah, damn it.
Why are we here? Well, okay, because this is the
things in the Pokedex entries, are hard facts.
All right. Right there are compilation of
the facts that we know about Pokémon, all right?
And maybe we haven't done enough research on Persian and Golda to
have it down to a science about what.
Jean. Their forehead does, because
Pokémon are pretty mysterious. And we're pretty dumb.
Yeah, yeah. That's, I mean, for yourself.
I mean, some of us are no not mr.
Curtis Hagen, was she pretty dumb?
Not nods to yourself there. I'm not the one that tried to
spank a gold ducking think that's slapped in the face.
Hey, no. He only succeeded in spanking
like all the hook I did. Yes, yeah.
Okay, we have confirmation from Curtis that he did.
In fact spank the goal dog, I did, but he spanked me back.
Yeah, he's paid you with his tail and was across the face.
That wasn't the Spain up but he did wink.
That's good, he'll wink. Yeah, you know what?
I don't like. What's going on?
Put him up. Let him up.
Yeah. What about sensual?
We only know. Put them on.
I'm not doing robbed right now. It's right.
Put him on getting robbed. I feel like I'm being robbed by
children, but I'm up. Hey, Golda, I'll see you
tonight. No, but I'm up.
All right, go like he's going back into the Pokeball.
All right. Good job, bulldog.
We can't we can't have another, you know, Professor, Jacob and
Gardevoir and no, no, this is true tonight.
Hey, listen, tonight is poker night, okay.
All right, we get, we get Perry and we get Jerry and we get, you
know, the Chauncey from the nurse's office, where my Gary,
but Gary, and we get Gary. Wait, who's Jerry, Jerry, Jerry
lives of Jersey Oddish, that you fired.
He was a hit. That's right now.
Oh my God. Into Pokemon Perry Jerry and dad
said, we're not creative. And you know what?
Shut up. I'm gonna tell Terry about this.
We have Perry with Pokemon choke that picks up the that shits
around the school. That mr.
Curtis picks off. Now, that's Dougie.
Leave him alone. Oh, sorry.
I will say this, though. He has pretty Mary.
He, you know what? Dougie the Mary Machoke, Mary.
The Merrill. When we talk about Marilyn like
a year or so then we could do that.
We need an employee Amaryl. That'd be fun.
Maybe. All right, so we've talked about
it enough. I think it's time to start
looking at the Pokedex entries. Are you already?
Do you have your notes raid? I've been ready and waiting on
you. Okay, sorry about that.
All right I'll get going. I'll start in the Kanto region.
Do that often seen swimming elegantly by lakeshore's.
It is often mistaken for the Japanese monster.
Kappa? What a say?
What sauna what? Whoo, okay.
Does that mean? Okay, so me about this Kappa.
What Pokémon is a Kappa? Well okay, it's not, it's not
Pokemon, it's just a legend, right?
Oh, of course, you guys know that other regions sometimes,
you know, call the Kanto region Japanese region for some reason.
I'm not quite sure how, and why remember that comes from.
So I, so, I haven't personally heard it myself, maybe it's in.
Like, you know, closer like that's a Legend closer to Pallet
Town or beats me. Yeah, up there somewhere.
I don't really know tap. Ok.
So like a Mystic Pokemon. Probably maybe.
Yeah, it's no it hasn't seen before.
It doesn't pokedex entry. So we don't know a lot about it.
But yeah. Apparently Golduck is sometimes
confused for her Kappa. I guess.
Sure. What are the hell better?
Yeah, I know. Alright, the next one here says
it's slim and long limbs. And then brought flippers they
are used for swimming gracefully and lakes, okay?
Awful. The last one from the Kanto
region says it's a webbed hands and feet.
Make it a professional swimmer. It may be seen swimming
elegantly at dusk in places like Lakes.
So okay, I guess so Blake's persistence.
The zipper super first stagnant water mostly.
Right. Um, Pretty still stagnant.
I don't know at stagnant is not the word.
I think you're looking for a prefers Stillwater.
Probably not stagnant, not stagnant thing.
It's like, it's not stagnant, was still water.
It's not even is there's like no.
Oh, well now I'm saying not necessarily.
It does it like to be in still water or stagnant water.
I thought still in second kind of mean the same thing.
Yeah. Like I'm not a geologist, I
don't know. Stagnant is usually like -
though like it's covered. Its got like a sludge in its
Like we're amok would hang out right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Still just means non-moving
stagnant is like, you know, like when the algae grows up and it's
muddy and nasty and it, you know, Harper's mosquitoes and
stuff like that. Yummy, what's I don't know
what's that Pokémon? I miss you do.
Yeah, it's like a, it's like a Beedrill but instead this thing
is on its butt and hands, it's on its face.
Yeah. Yeah, there's little Little
Devils aren't ever. My, it reminds me.
Oh, of like a little buzz wolf was what?
You have to think about it, okay?
Mix with the mixer that you touch the gold box.
What? Now don't you say a buzz wall?
What it's what was that? I was a big.
A big beefy. Legendary Pokemon from there.
Maybe maybe like a like a cutie fly.
Yeah. Oh sure.
Yeah like a little like a cutie fly.
Yeah. Everybody thinks cutie flies are
so cute but what they don't know is that they like they eat poop.
Oh they always fly around and eat poop.
It's disgusting. Yeah.
Way to live. Hey, when do we learn about the
mosquito Pokemon one? Is that registered or
inconclusive? We haven't had our discovered
that one yet. Okay, okay, so let's move on to
the Johto region when it swims at full speed using its long
web. Limbs, its forehead somehow
begins to Glow. Okay.
Turn Jen. Probably just says forehead.
Okay, um, so like the whole, the whole thing just close.
I don't know. I don't know.
The whole damn, dog. The whole, the whole forehead
just glow. That's right.
The whole thing, it appears by waterways at dusk, it may use
telekinetic Powers if it's forehead glows mysteriously
cool. Okay?
So at this point, sciatica is evolving into a water
psychic-type, that's really an. It's not a thing.
It's just a water type, it's not psychic.
What? Fuck man.
Thank you. James Blake.
Please I will say sorry principal's office, right?
What the shit Professor. That's dumb.
Doesn't make any sense. So like avatars are that's fire
and flying is it just going to start learning grass-type moves
and what we're doing is typing right days.
Yeah, well you know what cars are can learn grass-type moves.
It can it can learn grass. Not any can learn solar beam?
Oh, yeah. So why isn't why maybe just a
little bit, maybe not crying. Yeah, let's this is why I think,
you know, no categorizing Pokemon by their typing is just
a bad idea. We should be categorizing them
all by their by their egg group. I've said it before and I'll say
it again, it's the better categorization system.
So Golduck would be water 1 and field as opposed to water too.
Yeah, there's, there's, there's either two or three different
water egg groups. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
There is water. 1, 2 and 3, I it's, it's kind of like, is
separate sit by, you know, Sure like Pokemon that like are on
like the shores of water and like, actually I think it's like
pawns oceans and deep ocean puddles of deep oceans.
Yeah. I think I think I could be
wrong. Yeah, either way.
Yeah, matter. I'm not a pussy.
I'm not a Pokémon biologist. Nope, you're not read the
entries. I could do your job, you could.
Wow, you and I have tried to get it, right?
You could try to do my job. I did.
Once I did one week, I did I read them.
You did very well. He did a very good job, maybe
next week. I'll do it.
All right, let me go ahead and read the next entry here.
It's swims gracefully along on the quiet slow moving rivers and
lakes of which it is font is so fun.
So also slow moving Rivers diverse rivers to not just
Stillwater. OK are stagnant.
Yeah, I don't know I feel like stagnant and still is the same
thing but Mr. Curry. It's a, I think it's different
things, very different, very different.
Nobody wants to take a bath in stagnant water, maybe amok, but
go swimming in a Still Still Lake.
That's perfectly fine. Sure.
Okay, let's move on to the Hoenn region.
The web flippers on its four legs and hind legs and the
streamlined body of Golduck, give it frightening speed.
Whoa, this Pokemon is definitely much faster than In the most
athletic swimmer. Wow, yes.
So that's so it's four legs. That means it's like, you know,
it's arms, its arm like things and then its hind legs, and it's
like, it's regular legs. So has six legs?
No, no, we can't do this again. Wait, is goal talk even faster
than that Michael flips guy from the univer region?
Yes, according to the Pokedex. Yes, he is.
Okay, all right, well, suck at Michael flips.
I think it's Michelle flips. That's his cousin now.
Okay. Wow.
Having Michael and Michelle and your family that would suck.
Yeah. Yeah.
They're dad's name is Mikey. Some just Michael again?
I mean sure. Okay, the next one says, oh
yeah. So by the ways I love the its
forelegs, his hind legs and the streamlined body.
Damn. It's like it was a body on that
gold. It's like it's like cars
salesman. Find the seller, Golduck!
Hey, there's a whole lot of legs on this duck.
Yeah, you get a lot of mileage out of this.
That's what Curtis was doing. He was trying to smack it to be
like you get a lot of mileage out of this pot like a Salesman.
This thing from go to go from zero to 60 in no time flat.
Look at the stream line body on this gold look it was so
streamlined. Beautiful Curtis couldn't help
but touch it, you know. That's right.
Alright the next thing He says Golduck.
Okay, this is this is this is some bullshit.
I'm just gonna say, hey, there's no way this is true.
There's no way. This is true.
Golduck is the fastest swimmer among all Pokemon bullshit.
I'm true. No way.
Is that true? No, I don't believe it.
That's, that's look, look. Gold duck is number 55 in the
national Pokédex, so that means there's been other Pokemon, but
that's the first one registered. Studied in that order.
So there's got to be more than a fad.
It's not quite how it works. I mean, so K.
I think it means swimming like non like non-aquatic living
Pokémon like obviously like a Gyarados that lives in the
water. All the time is going to swim
better. Out of the terrestrial Pokémon
are swimmers. Golduck is the fastest Curtis I
quote I quote from the Pokédex. Yeah well Golduck is the His
swimmer among all Pokemon. Okay, all of them all of them.
Every single one for alligator, don't buy it.
I don't buy it toe-to-toe. Let's have a race.
I want to see if you all the gear next to a gold dog.
We're going to keep this Golduck on hand and any time we have a
water-type Pokémon, we're going to have them ready.
So we're gonna see who's the fastest.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
When you start digging a pond out back though.
Yeah, I'll get it. I'll get it.
I feel like that's what's his name?
What's the doggy Dougies the Machoke that This always cleans
up how because he because he digs things.
I'm sorry. Well, ya know.
He drops dukies. Oh, okay.
Dukey drop and Dougie. Dougie Dougie, yeah, that's his
nickname. Do he Dougie?
But yeah, I've, I don't know. I feel like very skewed.
I would give it a run for its money, but yeah, that was, that
was a fast Pokémon who are screwed up.
First, you up there, screwed up beerus key, a skewed.
Oh, I don't know if I think cry. I don't think, you know what, I
think Sharp Ito would give him a run for it.
Oh sure. Tina was really fast.
Charketa would blow his ass load.
Soul is also the wire. It's very flat fossil so it's
all floatzel. Yeah, yeah yeah.
That was great too. Maybe a Swampert I feel like
swamp. It's a big boy, I don't know
Swamper. It's gonna be able to outpace
it's not fat. Shame Pokémon here.
Yeah, it's Swampert is an endurance swimmer.
He's not, I'm not down. Stretching him a shame him into
saying he's rotund. Okay, all right.
Fine. All right, now we're bringing
The word that we use to describe Charizard's belly.
Yeah. Rotund.
Some of the Pokedex said, nah, I haven't read the Pokedex entries
on Swampert recently so I cannot say for sure whether or not,
they say rotund, no. I meant for Charizard members.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
I did say chubby and rotund and it was really, really weird
little rude slam it on. Charizard, for some reason our I
didn't finish reading this entry to do that.
Golduck is the fastest swimmer among all Pokémon.
Its swims effortlessly, even in a rough stormy, see it It
sometimes rescues people from wrecked ships.
Under a nice. He's like so some just like it
it likes missing the long ago. See uh somebody drowning like I
guess I'll save him but other times they'll be like yeah,
fuck'em depends on what it's got going on that day but I gotta, I
gotta go, I gotta go school, I can't, I can't just, you know, I
can't be doing all this. So we should be doing that.
I'm late for dinner and I'll say these people here Game of
Thrones is on. I get home.
Yeah, a Golduck is an Adept swimmer.
It sometimes joins competitive swimmers in training.
Oh yeah, so like if swimmers like swimming in like a pond or
a lake or something they'll like swim alongside of them and
completely blow them out of the water.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like Michael flips or his cousin Michelle flips or or their uncle
mikkel. Are there?
Hell yeah. They're all Olympic swimmers
whole family of them. Yeah.
And one of them is a Teenage Mutant Turtle.
A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle egg.
Oh yeah. Mikey.
That's that's the dad. He's okay gold.
It used so so on the end of that one these entries from home and
are very long-winded. Mom Birch uses psychic powers
when its forehead Shimmers with light.
Okay. Yep.
Just forehead not the gym. I don't think it's said the word
gem. Once yet.
Nope. Like if you if I hadn't seen a
Golduck and I was just going off of what, I know what I like
could glean from these Pokédex and cheese, I would not know
that it has a gym on his forehead.
It's very shiny. Yeah, I just that it's the
forehead shines like it has a fever.
Yeah. It's um I don't know.
Alright, the next one says the forelegs are webbed helping to
make it an Adept swimmer? It can be sweet as seen
swimming, elegantly and lakes, Etc.
Elegantly beautifully this dream Lions beautiful.
He's really sexy. This ain't Golduck.
This gold that will get you where you're going Aang.
Don't sexualize are Golduck. I'm smack that ass earlier.
Yeah, but that was a playful. Get ready for poker night slap
just like yeah. All right, let's move on to the
Sinnoh region. A Pokemon that lives in links it
swims faster than Human swimming champion.
Yep, we know that the flippers of its well-developed limbs.
Give it shocking speed again. Again, it says it is the best
swimmer among Pokemon the best. The best fastest, but the best.
This one, you're right, you're right.
The first time. It said, fastest right the best.
It says, yes it did. Say fastest, and it set among
all Pokemon the. What now the way that says best
swimmer Among Pokemon. You're right Curtis because
like, I don't know, it's like when like when I want to, when I
don't know, a Pokémon that lives in water.
So like a magic Goldeen Goldeen, right?
Or something like that, when it's in the water, it's moving.
You don't say it's, you don't really think of it as swimming,
right? It's moving right, right?
Yes. So like, maybe it's saying that
the act of this is the only way I can rationalize this because
there are definitely Pokemon in the water that are faster than
gold. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's probably talking about Pokémon that are like
semi-aquatic, like after our Gator wrestle that also swim.
Yes. Whomper.
You know what I mean? Like something like that.
Okay. Kangaskhan.
But again slots plimsoll. I feel like Photo will be
quicker or Vaporeon. I mean come on look at the tail
on that thing. Yeah before you I'm it's
probably fast. Yeah.
Well they pour into more has the endurance than you think the
importance and returns to a more like a Feraligatr.
Yeah. Or like a roar like eradicate Oh
yeah, radically. All right.
Okay. Wow.
You told the gold talk? I'd like to see that.
Yeah, well let's maybe a next time if you're good.
Whoa put on together a swimming competition around the lowland
Islands. A gold duck versus eradicate
field trip. Good.
Lord that's that's that's far outside the the scope of this
class. No no I'm sure the budget will
accommodate right? The principal will let it's a
learning experience. Yeah we can ask the principal
later. All right.
Thanks one says. It is seems to me.
This is still standing, by the way.
They're really like bring it. Bring it hard with these entries
for gold for Cold. Duck of all Pokémon.
It is seen swimming dynamically and elegantly using its
well-developed Limbs and flippers.
Hmm? Okay.
And the last two here just repeats.
So there's there's one here from the, you know, region.
I think it's slightly different. It says when it's Forehead
shines mysteriously Golduck can use the full extent of its
power. Yeah we've said that already
right women power wimps it swims fast its forehead shines and can
use psychic powers. But yeah, it's just we didn't
say it exactly like that. We didn't say full extent of its
power, right? Right.
Okay. Nothing new in the Kalos region.
Okay, let's do lunch. The Aloha region.
It is said that. It is said that the red part of
its forehead grants Supernatural powers to those who possess one.
So, it was over hunted in the past.
Now again it didn't say gem. It didn't.
It's a disturbing trend of its forehead.
Why is it? Why is it not saying gem?
Is it not a gem? What is it?
Is it just is it s actually, is it.
This one might be, is that this one might actually be as it
purchase one. The gym, this is as it, you
joked about as it, but it might actually just be.
It might actually be a zit. Fleshy and gross, man.
It's like I think third person touch that part.
Yeah, yeah. You like those questions
accident and it just pops. Oh, no psychic powers and then I
and then I sighed duck, egg comes out.
Oh, what the fuck is Noah is no research ever, just kind of to
go like just giving it a nice pinch.
If it's a nipple to nipple, you want to try it out and I'm you
know what I do. Only want to be pinching any
Pokemon forehead. Yeah.
That like you that looks like
finally sets Golduck over the edge.
Right. Yeah.
Or maybe gold looks very patient.
Okay. Patient boy but I thought yeah.
Okay, not an option. The next one in the yellow
region says, it's swims. Along the banks of lakes and
catches fish Pokémon. It takes them to the shore and
quietly eats them up. Oh, so it's kind of light, so
for lights Carnival, but it's very polite, okay?
No poor, no, no, poor table. I'll Manors here.
No it's not a Persian doesn't just eviscerate.
Its prey. Yeah for fun.
Its web pinkies are up as it says.
It's not going into a gold. Yeah.
Fancy it's right or bascule and okay.
The next one says, even fast. Swimming fish Pokémon can be
disabled by Golduck. It brings them to a standstill
and seizes them. Okay, Power know how telekinetic
Powers when it goes fast and still.
Yeah, I it freezes them with telekinesis while it's swimming
really fast. Got ice beam just freezes and
right. Do you not see that?
That's exactly the problem, right?
You guys are filling in the blanks in the, in this, in this
Pokédex entry. You can't do that.
It doesn't tell us how it brings interest and so we can assume
that uses its to telekinetic powers or we can use other
Mysterious powers like Curtis was talking about with freezing
them. Maybe it could do that.
Yeah so we don't be just says Hey slow down I think I said
something nice. Like he made me hey wait you
dropped your wallet and the fat and thus the fish Pokémon turns
out I was like what? And then yes'm that's why.
But it's very quiet and polite. Nom nom nom.
Yeah pinkies out pinkies up. Alright, the last one here from
the other reason, says a professional swimmer.
It does this professionally? It can continue swimming for two
days straight by waiving its long tail.
Skillfully nice two days. True days straight.
Yeah so it's got its got the endurance to go with the speed.
It's got the speed and the endurance.
Wow, this really is the best swimmer.
I don't think eradicate had an ending point, right?
Like I'm pretty sure eradicate was just like can swim
indefinitely forever. Annotate could swim across the
ocean. That's right.
Which I, which was sure would take longer than 2 days.
I don't know. Whatever one is between a Lola.
Fast, depends on how fast. Yeah, well gold Ducks if gold
Ducks faster and it swims for two days, it's going to cover
more distance true. But eradicate I think I think
any anything would be hard-pressed to get across an
ocean in two days. Golduck might, you know I
wouldn't put it past, maybe it is.
The fastest swimmer is the fastest among all Pokemon, all
right. There is hey, there's some
interest here from the gala region.
I know a lot of like a lot of reasons that we don't get things
from our just, Bringing them, bring them in this time.
Okay, this Pokemon lives and gently flowing, Rivers it back.
It paddles through the water with his long limbs, putting its
graceful swimming skills on display.
It paddles like a doggy paddles paddles that's fast paddle.
It felt like, paddling like what Curtis said to its, but yeah,
yeah. Hello Pat, would you consider a
pat that a paddle or a SWAT Miss?
That's a, that's a love. Tap is what I love.
You know. But but not but not In a, in a
romantic love way. And they love as in, I'm about
to break you in somehow, we'd have to call off or something
about trying to romance a Pokemon young, man.
I'm about to, I'm about to kick your butt in poker tonight.
I'd like to take you to your warm it up for him.
That's like, AA, I love to take your money.
You're like right here, this is where I'm gonna kick smacks,
right? Nice mom.
Last one here from the gala region, says old Tales.
Tell of Golduck. Punishing those that defiled,
it's River. The The guilty were dragged into
the river and taken away. Oh wow.
That doesn't sound like in character for gold.
Look at all. No, it's completely opposite of
what you would expect from a Golduck.
And Emulsion on that gal are nothing.
I mean when you gotta pay your next Century we just gal or have
it like a different variant that's like violin or something.
Nope no see more gold at all. All the same.
When you when you got to pay your your gambling debts, you
gotta go to Extreme Measures. That's right.
You better not lose at poker tonight.
You better not fuck this. Golduck over because he's gonna
come after you dragged in a lake mr.
Curtis. Yeah, I mean, he was kidnapping
people to pay off his gambling debts that he wasn't me.
The next time you decide to you know go up to a pond and take a
piss in it. You Mike Weiss.
You might just get why you robbed my Golduck.
Yeah. Um, that does it for the
regional entry isn't have course, I will now read the
unique entries. The first one says it comes to
us from ashes Pokédex. It says, Golduck the duck
Pokemon, the evolved form of Of sidek Golduck is very Adept at
using its webbed hands and feet making it the fastest swimming
Pokemon of all, okay? Because if you guys if you say
so poking I mean that's what they're saying that's what
they're telling us. The next one says it also comes
to us from Ashley's Pokedex it says Golduck the duck Pokémon.
It makes its home in Lakes as able to swim faster than a gold
medalist. And guys I think right there
we've had figured out why it's called Golduck.
Yeah, because it can swim analyst faster than a gold.
Gold dulled just. Thank.
All right. I like it that does.
And that does it for Pokedex entries.
I do have an unsourced uncredited article here, which
you guys like me to read it for you?
I would love. I would love it.
Okay. All right.
You know, I'm getting a resounding.
Yes, I'll be quick about it. Be quick about it, you know.
Golduck is a blue by peddled Duck Pokémon.
It has red eyes. As a cream-colored beak and a
red. Oh, a red gem in the center of
his forehead. I don't know.
The Pokedex doesn't say anything
about Jim doesn't say that it's probably just be a really shiny
little nipple. You're not really sure.
Simple and four spikes on the back of its head.
Its hands and feet. All have three.
Claude digits with cream-colored, webbing in
between its body is a specially adapted, to have a hydrodynamic
shape. It has a long tail that eases
the rudder to steer. Golduck is sometimes mistaken
for the Japanese monster and sorry, it's sometimes mistaken
for the Japanese monster, the Kappa due to which general
humanoid shape beak and webbed hands and feet.
So I guess the Kappa is also a, humanoid has a beak.
Yes. Yeah, that's hands and feet.
I've never again, I've never heard of this.
Never heard of it either lime, or heard of this.
This, this weird Pokémon. Yeah, gold.
The fast swimmer is in being capable of out swimming.
Even the most athletic humans because of its webbed
appendages. Even rough Seas, do not hamper.
This Pokemon swimming abilities and it will sometimes rescue
people from shipwrecks gym on its forehead glows.
When it uses psychic powers, not true, it's forehead glows.
Not the jam or head. The Pokedex is, were very clear
that it was its forehead, not the gem, or their whatever.
It is not confirmed that it's the zit Jim nipple.
So yeah, the genes-- one is for had glows when it uses psychic
powers and occasionally when it swims at full speed in the past,
this Pokemon was overhunted due to the belief that the gem.
Granted people Supernatural Powers Golduck has the ability
to give knowledge to its trainer and fellow Pokemon through
telepathy. Wow whoa whoa, hold on.
No. Hold on, hold on.
That's some Fantastical thinking.
That's we're not know that's never been mentioned before.
And yeah my goal that Typically be seen swimming in Lakes, where
it hunts fish Pokémon. The prey is disabled captured
and then brought to the shore for consumption old Tales claims
Golduck. Punishes those who defiled their
Rivers by dragging them in and taking them away.
All right. Scary fat doesn't.
So yeah. This one definitely had took
some Liberties, some things, you know.
Not necessarily proven. Yeah.
All right. Well that does it for the
information that we have on Golduck.
Now it's time to test what you guys have learned through
apoptosis. Quiz as long as it's not a test,
we're good. Yeah, no I don't.
I don't really do tests. Maybe I'll just, you know, I
probably should do a test to see how well your retaining the
knowledge from other classes but you know God know we'll see.
Alright. So make sure you have your Rotom
laptops out. Make sure to get some pens and
paper if you have to use scratch paper for anything.
Yeah. Is everybody ready?
I have a sock tiny that you will you can you can put it back on
your feet. It it'll be fine there.
Sure I've ever know. Yeah.
Okay. Okay, so alright.
Question number one. Yep.
What are the first? Are you ready?
I'm ready. I said I'm ready.
Good? What are the three?
Things? The Pokedex attributes to Gold
Ducks. Swimming ability.
All right, both of the answers are in.
Let me go ahead and read a Corbin's first, in case you
forgot, the question was, what are the three things?
The Pokedex attributes, the goal Ducks, swimming ability, Corbin
Says, webbed feet streamlined body powerful tail mr.
Curtis responded with webbed hands and feet.
Streamlined body long tail. Make it one of the best of the
best of the swimming boys. Whoo, yeah, exactly correct.
I'm sorry. Boy, not only did you guys
answer in the same order but I also had the same order of
answers to my notes. Damn.
So we are older had a CO right now.
Almost like he found out that we looked at his his quiz ahead of
time. Yeah, you know what?
Not that. I said it out loud.
I am wearing the band. I'm kidding a joke.
If you will comedy will not sir, comedy, comedy ensues, right?
Well, let's see how well you fare with question.
Number two, Golduck can use mysterious Powers when its head
glows. What?
Well, sorry when does this normally happen, okay?
All of the answers are in starting with, you know, I'm
gonna start with Curtis this time.
Anyone, what are you doing? I'm feeling crazy.
I know you don't like changes a guy get used to get on with it.
All right, so the question was is go like can misuse mysterious
Powers when its head glows. When it's normally happen mr.
Curtis said the head does tend to start to glow when it swims
at full speed. And Corbin responded with it
happens when it swims super fast in the water.
Yeah, that's exactly correct. I mean, more specifically, when
I swing full speed but full speed is super fast so I'm going
to give it to you. That's right.
Very, very Equitable decision. There Professor, I do part of
being a professor. I gotta be able to think of my
toes and I think quickly. Yeah, right.
That's why I'm a professor and you're the student.
Yeah, that's right. Right suck it.
Mr. Curtis and also you Corbett all right.
Okay okay. Question number three what our
goal ducks to maintain, habitats?
Okay, both of the answers are in Corbin responded with ponds and
lakes. Interesting, interesting.
Interesting, now Curtis responded with gently flowing
rivers and pristine Lakes. The other one.
The other one I was thinking of was Rough and stormy seas.
But it doesn't say it actually lives in the referenced or they
said they said and lakes and the pond is the okay.
Huh. Let's no.
No do differently. Nope, they're different.
No, they're not. It was luck there.
Nikes know it says Lakes etcetera.
They're different upon in a lake is different.
It literally, didn't they say one point in the Pokédex entry
that are theirs, they turn pawns to want to read them again, I'm
from the beginning. All right, let's go.
I'm gonna go. No no, no.
Ponds and lakes. It says it may be seen swimming
elegantly in dusk at places like Lakes.
I heard pawns at one point. I think then waterways at dusk.
All right. It's too slow moving rivers and
lakes. All right.
All right, one can meet you pawned might be a river.
Okay. But why would you say laughs
instead of, you know, like / ponds and rivers because I can't
put three, you get pissed when people put more than the answers
that are a, she was one of the lakes that there.
There's so close when the river is clearly a different thing.
Oh my God I thought this party was.
He said, you could have said still water and gently moving
water and that would have been correct my God.
That's no, that's to whatever I full marks.
No, no, no, you're getting have fuck.
I was I was generous before but not no such luck this time sir.
I'm gonna go find a gold locket upon and prove you wrong.
Very, that's a very Equitable decision.
Their Shut up mr. Curtis, thank you, mr.
Hurd has shut up. All right.
Question. Number 4.
And the last question, when our goal Ducks, most commonly seen
swimming, okay? Both of the answers are in
Corbin responded, with at dusk and a mr.
Curtis responded with gold Ducks.
Oh, I just read over my answer, I submitted, I don't like it
already read it, write it Jacob, no goal.
Ducks cannot go. Looks can often at dusk ding,
it's things. I also often at dusk often at
dusk doing its thing, so that that did not come out.
I'm assuming God likes can often be seen at dusk doing its
things. Yeah, that's what I meant to
say. Oh, it's bright.
It's a right answer. Fine.
He's even spelled gold up correctly, didn't add the extra
D which I really thought it was gonna do nice job.
You will, you told us, he would give it to his, right?
He would give me the wrong one. What if I, what if I was out
looking for? That's right, that's right.
All right. So yeah, you got that one.
Correct, the answer is at dusk at lakes and rivers.
Not ponds, fuck. And well sometimes, sometimes in
this see when it's going to rescue people.
I guess, you know, I guess it does, it doesn't really say
lives in the sea, but it is sometimes in the sea somehow, I
don't know, it does mention the seed multiple times, so yeah.
Yeah, I mean maybe doesn't live in this city but like, it's
really good spot. It does spend a lot of time in
the sea. Yeah, like okay.
Like I don't live at the beach but I will go to the beach.
The fight you'll find you'll find.
I mean, I'm live at the beach, but Don't like live at the
beach. I just live at the beach.
I thrive in it. I mean I do I did live for that
salt life. So hey, are we done?
Yeah, yeah. Sorry I'll that does it.
For today's lesson you both had excellent on the quiz except for
Corbin who did mediocre. Hey my wife.
That's okay. Corbin.
If come to Remediation in the library I'll get you know you're
busy. No that's tomorrow after poker
night. Okay sorry.
But that Does it for today's lesson on Golduck?
If you I guess I think I know what Pokemon?
We're talking about. Next time, red duck, silver,
duct, 0y them, dog, guys. You guys are just so funny, you
guys are so funny, hilarious, which is what gives it, it's not
a job. Corralling about doc.
Why one more ducks ducks later, we'll get ducks.
Doug like Pokemon chop. No, no is a fighting-type
Pokémon. Oh Blaziken no, we're learning
about man. Key man key.
Yes, I'm sure is know a lot about Mankey already.
Does very well known prominent Pokemon but we're going to talk
about him anyways on the next lesson until then, if you have
any questions for me, Professor, Jacob, you can email me at my
Gengar mail, which is wo Pokémon at Dot-com.
You don't have a Gengar mail account.
That's fine. You can also find me at wo
Pokemon on Twitter. The bird type poker bird
flying-type Pokémon themed website.
If you if you just love this lesson and you think we deserve
some recognition for it, go ahead on to Flap will podcasts
and give us a rating if you hated it and just let think
everybody should know how terrible we are.
But you can also do it that there as well.
That's fine. But the professor know, he's bad
at this. Yeah, well, let them for us is
not bad. If anybody's bad, it's me.
Me and I apologize. That's okay.
Just be better. Yeah, I tribute all the five
stars to me and all anything less than 5 stars is because of
mr. Curtis, I agree.
So Mom, but that does it for today's lesson.
So until next time class is dismissed Welcome to the world
of Pokemon. Is it part of the Pokey casters
Network?