Hello there. Welcome to the world of Pokemon.
My name is Professor Jacob. And I am so excited to be back
because today is a momentous day.
We're finally finishing out our studies on the, on the first
three starter Pokemon. We're about to break out into
the world, the further world. Of Pokemon or can talk about
Pokemon that people don't talk about 24/7, we can actually
learn about some new interesting things but we got to get through
this lesson first. So today, joining me as always
is my wonderful teaching. Assistant, mr.
Curtis say hello to everybody. Oh Professor, I'm so excited.
I'm so excited. This means so much more to me
now that we can Branch out away from these dreadfully, boring
starter Pokémon. You know, I didn't say they were
dreadfully boring. I'm saving people talk about
them a lot closer. Closer to those good bug type
Pokemon. I'm just I'm so ready.
Yeah closer than you might think.
All right. And then the third person in the
classroom is of course my Favorite students Corbin inks.
Corvin yeah. Okay I'll make that statement
good to be here you know curse. I think the reason you're so
interested in bugs is because you have a bunch of QT flies
swarming around you because you stink, oh yes, you smell really
bad today. Like particularly just in usual
here late last night I haven't gotten to take a shower yet.
I was well in just interesting Lee enough clean, okay?
I can't focus. I can't.
I honestly, honestly, ircs, I cannot focus, because he's
fucking stinks. So goddamn bad please because
somebody hose him down. Do you have a professor to your
hose out back? Cause he stinks.
He smells. All right.
Ru Ru done insulting my teaching assistants.
No. Are you gonna hose him down or
not? He stinks.
Now. You are being very rude.
I must admit mr. Curtis, you are quite pungent
today, but luckily, luckily for you and for all of us, actually
the Pokémon that Learning about today is quite quite efficient
at hosing things down. Does anybody know what that
Pokemon is? Oh no, horsey, I can't, but what
I know. So last lesson we talked about
Wartortle, does anybody know what comes after Wartortle?
Oh no, it's blasty boy, egg last.
Exactly. So let's take a good look at
this blasty boy, that was low in to me from the one and only
Professor. Okay.
There he is. There's the plasti boy.
Hey, alright, so go up now. You'll notice he's very heavy
and he's heavy for a very specific reason.
If you could show us that reason.
Good old blasty boy, and, and point your hydro cannons right
on over to mr. Curtis rusted piece Curtis.
This is not going to feel good. Wow.
How it blew your pants? Right off.
Mr. Curtis so they have any extra pants for.
You are packing. My friend.
Let me go change. Oh my God.
Okay, well while he's changing corpsman, can you, I'm sure for
the brief amount of time that our blast, evil way AKA
Blastoise was out. I'm sure you noticed a few
things about him, anything you'd like to comment on or mention.
Well, I all I have to say is Blastoise more than likely is a
fan of the Second Amendment, because he's got some big old
gods. Got some big old guy.
Guys that is that is I think the most interesting and prominent
feature of a Blastoise especially comparing him to his
previous Evolutions which I'm sure we will.
All recall had a startling lack of any kind of cannons.
Okay, I'm back. Welcome back to see it.
Let me, let me, let me just say thank you.
I hope I feel so much more refreshed now, and ready to
learn. I really should have told you to
close your eyes first. I'm sure that I did, I did lose
my contacts but I have switched over to my glasses now so I
should be able to see okay but you know it's interesting we
don't really know where Blastoise as water comes from.
All right. We don't really know where it
comes from and it comes from the Cannons.
But like how does it get to Those cannons.
I don't knows we're here to figure out you're the professor.
So profess me profess my love for you.
No, I don't think so. Not in this classroom, I am 10.
Keep that in mind. I'm a ten year old trainer.
Keep your hands off my professor.
I wish you keep annoying me. That's the problem here.
I have never touched the student in my life.
All right, I want that on record, not once.
That's right. No, it's too much time with your
mom. I'm Corbin.
My mom says that you touched her, more ways than one and the
private sessions. But I think that just means
emotionally, I don't think that means you actually touched her,
right? Yes, of course.
So, who's ready to learn about Blastoise today?
Maybe I do. I do, I do anybody else?
Mr. Curtis, and I know, you know everything about Blastoise, but
I'm sure you're ready to refresh.
Yes. I'm always, it's good.
Good. So my good old friend Blastoise
here today. Well, let's get to, let's get to
the meat of the lesson and Start diving to some of these Pokedex
entries. Speaking of Meat, part of Curtis
is skin on his face is peeling off because of the high water
pressure so you might want to get that checked out by your
real doctor not a trap. I got we have a chance in the
school nurses office. I'll go get her to take a look.
Don't look, don't bother the chance.
See I have some tape right here, we'll just tape it right back
on. Okay, yes of course, Professor
whatever you say you don't bother the chance, you would
these menial issues. But as I was saying, we are
going to start our pokedex entry reading as we always do.
By looking at the Kanto region. So, the first entry here says,
Blastoise is a brutal Pokemon with pressurized water jets on
its shell, they are used for high speed tackles, what?
Yes, yeah. This very first public Centre
makes no mention of it. Using its the Cannons on its
back for any kind of blasting with water.
I don't see how that makes sense for a tackle because the Jets
are pointed towards its face. So what it does, this is just
tackle back. Words, I don't understand how
that works. Okay, imagine this.
So what's one thing that we know?
Squirtle and Wartortle constantly do especially when
they Gallop in their shells? Exactly.
That's what that's what the Blastoise will do as well.
And its belly is much more, like hard and slippery than the rest
of it. So, once it's inside of its
shell, it then shoots out the water and that shoots, it
backwards, I guess. Yes, it is going to go in
reverse, but I think that kind of helps me picture it a little
bit. Better.
Okay yeah. So a bit more because I
definitely have some questions about Blastoise that I need
answered today. Well, from these Pokedex
entries, you probably won't get them.
All right, the next one says, once it takes a man it's enemy.
It blasts out water with even more Force than a fire hose.
Whoa, Curtis asked in. Yeah, you can you attest to that
mr. Curtis.
Yes, I can. All right.
Almost blacked out there. Couldn't breathe.
But I'm glad I'm still here to be here for class.
We are all glad that you're here, right Corbin.
I mean I could do without the competition on the quizzes but
whatever it's not a competition. It is for me, it's personal for
me. All right.
Well then you think you would do better?
Sorry. Yeah, you're right true.
All right. Next one it has spouts extending
from its shell at the top. They spray water like cannons
hard enough to pierce concrete walls.
Al's. Or Curtis is skin.
I mean yeah I mean damn you survive that mr.
Curtis that's impressive must have been taking it easy on me.
Probably probably probably have. Maybe he has the tough hide
ability that a lot of sturdy Pokemon have so that's all from
the Kanto region. Let's move on forward into the
Johto region. It deliberately makes itself
heavy so it can withstand The Recoil of the water jets at
fires, oh, that makes sense. So I guess it like really like
stocks up on food and it makes itself nice and fat.
Mmm. Also if you if you got a good
look at its feet, it's its claws or kind of position in such a
way that it's really good to like grasp the ground and latch
onto the ground. Which I'm sure also helps
because it's a lot of force that it's putting out with Is water
jets? Mmm the rocket cannons on its
shell fire jets of water, capable of punching holes
through thick steel Jesus. Yes, I concrete know, it's
steel. That's what they say in the
Johto region Jesus so I can't get all know that.
We all know that Joe chose seal is subpar steel.
I mean, right at home, telling me that a Blastoise can shoot a
Fucking hole through a Steelix. Is that what you're trying to
tell me? Well, I'm not sure that we
should equate the, the Tough Armor of a Steelix to that of
regular steel, drum true. So, yeah, we'll get a
good-looking that at that Pokémon in few years or so, two
tires. Yeah, it will get better.
We'll get there. Okay, well this last one here
says it firmly plants. Its feet on the ground for
shooting water from the Jets on its back.
So it makes itself heavy and It firmly plants those feet right
on the ground. Dig it.
Yeah. Well no, no digging just okay,
excuse me. Plant in planting.
Yeah. Okay.
Now, moving on, to the Hoenn region and I have to say at
least four. Charizard, Hoenn region makes a
lot of bold claims, but I think I really do think they do a very
good job with their Pokedex entries, although they do a lot
of repeating, but I'm always impressed, Brahms stuff.
Well, I mean sometimes he's a fucking ass but sometimes yeah,
so that was he's known as a fuck ass.
That's true. So let's see what he has to say
about Blastoise. Blastoise has water spouts that
protrude from its shell. Yeah.
But we fucking know. Yeah.
The waterspout that this is, this is very interesting.
The waterspouts are very accurate, they can shoot bullets
of water with enough accuracy, their strike empty cans from a
distance of over 160 feet. Write that down.
Wow, 160 hundred feet precisely in credible.
That's like a football field. Right.
Not quite right, right? That's, that's a little bit more
than, was it a third of a football.
Wait, what is football? I don't know.
But I know, I'd like to play it. I've heard of Pokeball.
That's right. Which is you throw.
That's not that, you know, of course that's what that's what
there's some communication issues here but there's also a
sport called Pokeball. You just take a bit of and kick
it around. So, only thing ghosts aren't my
favorite sport? Yeah, everybody hates video.
From fact, I'm thinking I'm, we might just skip video, but when
we get there we do. We should um, okay.
So more from the horn. Mmm it crushes, it's phowa under
its heavy body, causing it to faint, Cosmic, causing fainting.
Sorry, in a pinch, it will withdraw inside of a shell.
And then, another one here, says the pressurized water jets on
this brutal, Pokemon shell. Argues for high-speed tackles
Zoom, another one of those high-speed tackles.
All right, so one more here from the center region again, what?
Oh, Lola Kalos to Nova and Galler.
Gal are still use the exact same Pokedex entries from the
previous regions some original. I know it's frustrating,
honestly. Anyways, the Jets of water, it
spouts from the rocket cannons on its shell can punch through
thick Steel. So I don't know.
It's weird that it calls them rocket cannons.
We've heard rocket cannons pressurized water, jets, and
spouts. Water spouts is another one
which is particularly weird. All right, so I believe that's
it for the different Pokedex entries but like Charizard and
also Venus or even though we don't really talk about me or
Blastoise has a few alternate forms, of course.
So it also has a mega-evolved form and a gigantic Max form.
So let's first talk about the the mega form.
There really isn't much to talk about here, at least from
Pokedex entries. We, I will describe it more in
detail a little bit later on, like, the actual like what it
looks like. But for now we're going to just
read this. The cannon on its back is as
powerful as a tank gun. Jesus Christ.
Yes, I do. Yeah.
It's tough legs and back. Enable it to withstand The
Recoil from firing the cannon. Yeah.
Curtis. If This Were a mega that shot
you holy fuck your head would be gone home.
Boy. Yeah you have a hole in the
center of you to be holy yeah. Alright so that's it.
It for the Mega Evolution pokedex entry is now, there's
two here for the gigantic Max entries.
It says, it's not very good. I precision shooting when
attacking what it's just. Not another fucking thing.
Said, it was. That's that's the regular
version. This is gigantic.
Max0, special version just sucks.
Okay, I mean the gigantic version just sucks.
You can't well, hon. Let me finish, let me finish.
Let me let me tell you how. It overcomes, that lack of
accuracy. Oh come when attacking.
It just fires. Its 31.
Cannons over and over and over. I'm sorry. 31.
Yeah, write that number down, 31 cannons, Jesus.
Okay. One more water fired from this
Pokemon Central, Main Cannon has enough power to blast a hole.
What, how do you think this ends is going to finish?
What, what ludicrous thing, do you think giganta?
Max blast was impossible through.
I like this game. Thick steel, right?
Steel. Yeah, as powerful as a tank gun,
I think you can blast a hole through I would say, solid
Stone, a boulder, a boulder blast, a hole, right through
Boulder, a hearty woman, Artie, Artie woman.
A, a Johto region woman, both of you are wrong water.
Fire from this Pokemon Central, Main Cannon has enough power to
blast a hole in a mountain. It can make tunnels through
mountains. Mountains.
Using its Central Cannon. Holy fuck.
That's Kick-Ass. Yeah, that's it's pretty
Bonkers. If you ask me.
This is a this is a wild Pokémon.
All right. Well let me tell you at a
gigantic Max Blastoise. Now, do we really take the
Pokemon or do the Pokemon tame us?
Some to think about something to think that's very funny.
Professor. I like hey this is what I'm
talking about. Our professor is so profound and
deep. And just you know, kiss-ass so
much to learn how please my ego. Can only get so erect she's
talking about a wreck things in front of your 10 year, old
student or other listeners that may be underage.
Just saying I think my 10 year old student should he's the one
who made the illusion to something that was bad but the
word erect. So I only ask my fault.
I did say a wrecked. I said Curtis has a kiss-ass.
You set a record you're talking about when I said a wreck T', I
don't think so. But continued Breezy.
Did the professor never lies. I never.
Okay. All right, so we have a few
unique Pokedex entries here. At fact, we have a lot of them
to from Ash, one from May and one from mr.
Serena mr. Suri, mr.
Serena huh? Yeah, I'm assuming it's a guy.
I don't really know these people.
How do you oh first? You think?
Oh yeah, you know, Don is a woman and and now you Know if
the Rena is a woman, let me ask you something to Serena sounds
like does it sound like a man's name to you?
Have you ever been on a Brian Serena?
I've never heard of anybody named Serena and but it sounds
like Arena where many back outside of the lab then you
fucking pasty ass. It's hot out there.
And there's a don't you finish that sentence boy?
There's a roaming band of 30 to 40 Wild Horses, just attacking
people willy-nilly. So I think I'll stay in here
when you something to do with Um, how about we just get a
fucking gigantic? Max Blastoise to blast the shit
out of them? I mean, think of blast a hole
through a mountain, you could pretty much blast the skin and
meat off of a Neurosis bones. I mean, that's what we need to
fight these fuckers. I mean we could literally just
get a single tar. Is our who can melt anything
with its breath? Well I mean I'll take anything.
I mean. Come on.
Absolutely anything. Anything.
That's the anything that's in the solid state.
Charizard can take that and put it into a liquid state.
Well, I don't know. Yeah, anything absolutely
anything. There's no real evidence of
that, but let's continue on about Blastoise, please.
I thought you'd never ask I do that.
Charizard melted, my heart Stalin.
Come back to me. Yes I was glad we were able to
get you a heart transplant quick because you were you were
struggling there for a little bit.
No wait, hold it. Heart disease.
Got a heart transplant when well he had I mean well our A little
charcoal melted. His heart comedy.
Okay. Started going so mr.
Ash Ketchum. His first poker, he has to his
first pokedex entry says Blastoise the shellfish Pokemon,
the evolved form of Wartortle blastocyst Blastoise, has
strength lies in its power. Rather than its speed.
Its shell is like armor attacks from the hydro cannons on.
Its back are virtually Unstoppable.
I mean, are we? Yeah, awesome.
That's making some I'm sorry. Goldie.
Limbs, are you, are you trying to take a nap in the middle of
the professor's lesson? Do Corbett, maybe, maybe, maybe
he needs a little splashing. Don't go back out here.
No I'm awake. I'm awake, I did find this this
gigantic Max lodestone maybe we could know.
I don't really need to put a hole through my tiny body.
Okay. Wild.
Would it be if this location just ended up being a power spot
of Dynamax energy? That would be wild.
I would be crazy. Good thing.
It's not right, right? Like hopeful.
Like what if it was I'm just saying there's plenty of more
gigantic. Max Pokemon out.
There may be, will be will see one, and let's not test you.
We'll have to to you have to investigate that it's right.
There you go, you got it. Please, you got there please!
Okay. Alright, so another one here,
from the from ashes Pokedex it says, Blastoise the shellfish
Pokémon Blastoise uses the hydro pumps on.
Its back to fire out, extremely powerful blasts.
Hmm. May's Pokedex says Blastoise the
shellfish Pokémon Blastoise is the final evolved form of
Squirtle. It can launch powerful blast of
water from its spouts. And the last one here is
Serena's, can anybody doesn't wanna take a guess how this one
starts. It has spouts on its back, yes,
sir Sonia. That's what her name is.
I couldn't remember the professor who studies giganta.
Max Pokemon. Listen Professor, Jacob.
You were the only Professor for me.
Yeah. Well, welcome back to class.
I guess you took a little Journey there by yourself.
Just pause the class, just a kiss ass.
Again, listen, I had to figure out.
I had to, I couldn't remember the professor's name.
These continue with this dumb lesson Professor.
All right. Serena's Pokedex starts off
Blastoise the shellfish, Pokemon.
But that's the thing. Like, how do you know that has
every observable time that we've seen a Blastoise?
It only cares about itself. Like is it never experienced any
other like, is that never answer was to get all Corbin.
Korben korben. Yes, shell fish.
That's what I said. So it only cares about itself.
There's things to measure that like, you're thinking of
selfish, right? That's, that's I love eating
that for dinner for like, yeah. So Fisher.
Great. Yeah, you would you go to like a
restaurant? You like a couple crabby legs?
Like, those are great. I used to wonder how somebody
gets such bad grades in my class, but every day, every day
I'm reminded of the idiocy that comes from your mouth.
That's a well. So well-spoken Professor, thank
you. I feel attacked, I feel
threatened. Well, if you don't want to feel
threatened, stop interrupting me while I'm trying to read about
Blastoise find talk about your Shellfish Blastoise go on.
Blastoise is heavy body weight can leave opponents unable to
battle. It's just looking at the sheer
girth of this Pokemon is enough to render Pokemon.
I just can't like holy shit. I can't that's a fat fuck.
I'm not trying this. It Retreats into its shell when
necessary. But honestly when is it
necessary? Like when we Blastoise ever have
trouble when it's against giganta, Max Blastoise.
Okay. Now I have some unsourced
uncredited articles here. These ones I are less about, you
know the biology of the Pokemon more about like it just its
physical shape and form. So we can kind of get an idea of
what it looks like. I realize at least when it comes
to the the mega and giganta Max, we haven't really described what
it looks like. So let me just let me just give
it a shot. Blastoise is a large.
I pedaled Pokémon its body is blue and mostly hidden by it's
tough Brown shell. The shell has a creek has a
cream color Underside and white Ridge and a white Ridge.
You think of better where there would be white ridges but
whatever and a white Ridge and circling its arms and separating
the upper and lower halves to powerful water cannons.
Reside at the top of its shell over it shoulders, these
cannons. Can be extended or withdrawn
Blastoise is head has triangular ears.
Ears that are black on the inside, small brown eyes and a
cream-colored lower jaw. Its arms are thick and has three
claws on each hands. On each hand.
It's feet has three claws on the front and one on the back.
Poking on the bottom of the shell is a stubby.
Tail. Just say bless.
Mrs. Clause in the back of its feet.
Yeah, it has well, it has one Claw on the back of its feet.
Three on the front. Yeah it's it makes it easier to
latch on for When it won't catch that when he was up there,
spraying Curtis you didn't see that.
Oh boy. Yes, I didn't catch that and
cleaning all of that. Dirty Toastmaster boy.
I got a very close. Look at that Blastoise, that's
right. Okay, moving on, as Mega
Blastoise, it develops, two smaller shells over its arms,
each with their own water cannon.
The two cannons on its back are replaced by a single Central,
water cannon of Greater size that can also retract into its
shell, this cannon extends forward over megablast voices
head, and the said to have a blast range of over six miles on
cried. It's not in any of the Pokedex
entries that sounds that sounds That's on Source.
That's a BS and Source, we would have to see that and I don't
have Blastoise tonight or whatever the fuck it's called,
or any kind of strong bond with any Pokemon.
Most hate me, you're shitting me Professor, not me.
I'm not a Pokémon trainer. I'm a Pokemon professor.
I'm the trainer here. Sure you are.
All right, well, whatever. Where was I?
Where was I where was I six miles Cannon?
Over 6 miles, six months, small ridges, develop over its Now red
eyes. Extend to its ears.
The ears angle slightly backward and there's a small point on its
chin. Okay.
Now let me describe the giganta. Max Blastoise team.
Yes. As giganta Max Blastoise.
It becomes larger. Whoa, no way.
What, that's why they call it giganta Max.
The blue arms, heads and legs change to light blue.
The underside of its shell is now colored dark red.
The shell transforms into a battleship like shell with 31.
Tons of different sizes sets of twin cannons emerge from hexagon
or rectangular shaped holes within the shell, several white,
triangle spots are located on its Talent legs and three red
clouds surround the main Cannon. This says this.
Again, this is not very unsourced.
It says, giganta Max Blastoise can adapt to any situation using
various Cannon combination. It never AIMS in battle as a
prefers to overwhelm. Its opponent by launching
Dynamic powerful turns from each of its cannons.
The main reason is due to is due to it.
Being unable to do precision shooting, right?
According to one Legend, its main Cannon is so staggering.
Powerful. It can blast holes through
mountains and against Max Blastoise can also move its 12
cannons surrounding the main Cannon individually to attack at
any direction it aligns. But like I mean we just said
like literally previously in this paragraph has said that it
can't shoot accurately and we know from the Pokedex entries
that it just it just shoots its cannons over and over and over
again. So why would I can't to do any
kind of aligning All right, so that is all the information
credited or uncredited? Wow, I have.
And it's a my questions. Well at that, you know what?
I wanted to open it up now. All right.
How does a blast to, I mean, I guess the same way.
I guess. It makes sense the same way as
Steelix is like natural Steel on it, but like so the Cannons are
natural biological part of its body, right?
Like it. Yes.
That we already added or in rain Anything they are, it can move.
Alright, I'll talk like to shift and move the Cannons.
I can retract them and everything kind of like it kid's
head. So okay so it's not like fleshy
in any way, be weird, a fleshy Cannon.
Well I think I think Miss occurs is making a good point here.
I think that they have the same kind of makeup as its shell
which is also hard. So it's not crazy to think that
a Pokemon could produce something that has like a right
a hard. I mean, looking at the Cannons
it looks like it's like it's like Kind of like that.
Silvery sort of look to it. Like it doesn't look quite the
same as the shell, but it's like, is it?
I didn't get it. I didn't get to touch it.
So I'm like, is it what would you like?
Would you like, just leave in about, leave it out, leaving
have a Blastoise a hand. Now this one's a little bit of
has an itchy trigger fingers look like, all right.
Blastin like three weeks ago. We already had the fucking half
the building destroyed. We don't need to flood it.
Okay, we don't need that. Yeah, it's it's fixed.
I fixed it. I don't know what, why, why are
you so upset about that? I'm just saying I'm just trying
to save you some money dog. All right fine.
So we won't bring blasty boy back out from now, right?
Yeah. I think it occurs here.
I don't have to pay to go here because my mom says that she
gets to send me here for free all.
Thanks to something about the work that you put into her.
I don't, I don't really, I don't make much sense.
But something about your private lessons again, I don't know.
You must be teaching her white, right?
So my question is, so the key tool lessons are the Cannons.
They're not made of the same material of the shell is, or
they steal. I don't think they're made of
steel. I think there's some kind of
maybe like, I don't know calcium or maybe it's made of the same
material as its bones. Yeah.
Maybe it's like some kind of, but I think the more interesting
question here is so when it's when it's just regular
Blastoise, it can shoot like a bunch of water out of those
cannons and and it can shoot like just absolute torrents when
it's a gigantic Max and when it's mega evolved, my question
is, where does that water come from?
Does it have to like fill up? Does that have like, some kind
of like store? Courage.
Inside of it. Sure just replenish the same way
we can give blood. I think it's probably the same
thing with that. It just has.
You think that the water is equivalent to its blood?
Well, not necessarily, I mean, you're the professor, you should
know these things. But I'm just saying, like, I
think it's the same way, how we replenish blood and water in our
bodies to think it does the same thing just at a higher rate so
it can just shoot out water. If it was that easy, I don't
know. I want scores water its ass.
I think it I think it still has water in it so I think that's
almost like this at stubby. I feel like that stubby little
tail is actually a little pipe that it sticks in a body of
water and it just kind of, I think it lifts up that stubby
tail, and I think it anally sucks in water and it just keeps
it in its butt and it shoots through its cloaca.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Okay. That's what I would dare.
But I mean I just I just wish somebody would have made that
observation on the on any one of these Pokedex entries but I
guess that's my job. Oh, I guess it's your time to
report in your own context huh? Time to update the cancer
regions decks with your findings, Big Boy, time to get
out of the classroom and get back in the field bitch.
You know you know what what you're right.
I'm leaving, was it? Uh no no no but I'm off on my
journey. Don't know come back to please.
I want I, I want to learn. I will do it.
I'll get the findings for you once we finish this class.
I finish the course, I'll get the findings for you and I'll
update the decks, I promise. Who's gonna sign me homework?
If you leave Professor, please don't go.
All right. If you both do well on this
quiz, I will know that I am doing my job expertly here and
that you just cannot survive without me.
Okay, sounds good. So, are you guys ready?
Or if we fail at that means you need to stay and give us more
help. I mean, if you fail it, I don't
think, I don't think I can help you.
Okay, that's fair. Alright, let's go dive
inaudible. Let's close it up.
Finally, somebody who's eager for a pop quiz, Mr. Curtis are
you just as eager? Oh, always Professor.
This is my favorite part of the lesson so I got yes.
All right, so get your pens and pencils get your laptop's out.
So you met message me privately. You're a girl.
You're on my speed dial Professor, I'm ready.
Okay, so question number one, and again, I know I say this a
lot but this one's a doozy guys. I hope you took notes.
I took it. All right.
Blastoise is hydro cannons are not only used for shooting
blasts of water. What is one?
Or other use of its cannons. I got this because I asked about
it, I thought it was weird. This this is an easy one.
It's easy. Well then why did you make?
It's like it was hard. I know this be kidding me.
I'm I'm this isn't the entire quiz there's more questions.
We'll see. I'm easing you in.
OKC will see. All right.
Curtis he got your answer ready? Yeah.
It's let's dive in. Corbin says they are used for
tackling. And mr.
Curtis says super fast. High speed.
Tackles did you two do? He did not write those pew.
Pew noises, but they were definitely in my head, right,
right? Yes, it is correct.
They are used for high speed tackles and honestly Corbin.
I'm on the fence. Oh, come on.
I said, tackling, it doesn't have to be high speed.
It's just tackling and I wrote that you have to give me that
point. He's it's you know, how specific
I am? So I'm going to just Lanes just
just are you about to give me? Or is the student about to give
me orders? That's weird.
Certainly not from, no comment card.
Hey, don't do what you feel is right Professor.
There we go. You're goddamn right.
All right. Question.
Number two, why does one or not? You didn't answer me.
Why does Blastoise deliberately make itself heavy?
Or is that just a lie? It tells its friends like no,
I'm making my cell phone on purpose.
I found purpose. Shut up typing.
Typing the the sweet Serenity that happens while both of them
are writing their answers. It's so nice and the longer they
take I'm sure the less the less. Sure I am that they know the
what? No I just had to take time to
write it out this one. You have to Lil bit, more
descriptive, man. Come on.
I know this. I know it.
Okay, yeah, you and you've submitted your answer.
I waiting for Kurt mr. Curtis to write his book.
Yeah, Curtis take, dude. Come on, man.
Be riding over there. I'd pay my done.
I'm really see the inner workings that go on inside.
I would love to see the ratan has spinning wheels and curses
mind the frittatas. I don't want to go in juices
running around from perched from personal experience, it's just
dark place. I tried to use it as as little
as possible. Of course, Curtis has seen a lot
in the war. Yeah, he uses his brain very
infrequently and yet he still does better than you and these
quizzes, mr. Corben that's demeaning.
I'm sad. All right, so the answers are in
Corbin says, Asylum. Let me read the question.
It's been a while please. Why does Blastoise deliberately
make itself? Heavy Corbin responded with so
it can hold itself steady while it shoots heavy loads.
Water, yep. Very good.
Very good Corp. Exactly.
Then answer mr. Curtis responded with I'm real.
I have not free read this, so I'm just I'm excited to go on
this journey with you. Let's hear it to stand strong
with that strong recoil of that strong Blast from those strong
cannons on those strong backs. Strong backs got more than one
back artist. Huh?
Strong boy. Blastoise boy.
Yes you are both correct. It it makes itself heavy.
So been with strong it's heavy withdrawn shit.
I can't say the words anymore. Man Curtis, So Curtis is fucking
answers. Give you a stroke?
Can we start Grady based on grammatical accuracy because
Curtis will fail every fucking quiz?
Strong strong strong. Okay, so cool.
We stand rapper, it's heavy blasts.
All right. Both of you get those answers.
It's looking good. I'm so proud.
So proud man, maybe maybe I am in the right line of work and
maybe I do need to go become a trainer.
Yeah, you never were one. So sick to teach us.
You're willing to take me with you Professor.
I'd be happy to carry your camping equipment and all your
Pokeball. No, this is.
This is a, this is a journey of finding oneself.
Mr. Curtis, this is it. You have to take this one, no
alone. Let's all be aware of our roles
in this classroom. I'm the I'm the aspiring
trainer, Jacobs fired me Professor.
Jacob is just that the professor in Curtis is the leech that It
sucks the professor off, very mr.
Curtis to you. That's mr.
Leads to you. I mean, I'm mr.
Curtis to you, right? So let's all learn our places
here. I'm the trainer and when I get
all the information I need, I will update your Pokedex for
you. I promise, I let's get on with
this so I could get this answer right.
Okay. Question number three.
Yeah, give me the number of cannons Blastoise has and each
of its forms. So we that's over.
You know Mega. Yeah.
And sour cream and onion. Yeah, my favorite soccer when
you Blastoise. Okay.
So yeah, original Mega and giganta Max preferably in that
order, so Mega. Okay.
So original Mega and Josh, I can't imagine exhale down.
Giant High School, fucking spot. Gigantic the ways to be better
with Curtis spells II. Think I got this.
I think I actually got this. I think I got it.
Dog. You think you got it?
I think I got it. I'm curious to see if Curtis has
it. Is this a lot?
It's our last question. There's one more after this.
Okay, I have to go, I have to go deep inside.
Yes, to go into his mind. Palace, painted into the dark
Rattata cage. They always wait and nip at my
ankles. I'll go.
He says that route at a cage. You better give that answer,
man. Come on.
We don't have all day. Come on, hmm.
I got to play with my friends. After school, lets go.
Yeah sure friends got to play on the monkey bars.
Come on let's go. Hurry up.
I prefer the primate bars. Oh, I love those.
They're kind of, like, really good protein bars.
Oh, you might like to got you. Got you might like the exercise
bars got you. Thank you.
Tim about the the primate bars. Please don't mention primate
bars. We are not sponsored by them.
Oh sorry, we're a sponsor but my bed.
Excuse me. We are in fact sponsored by
giggling, chips. Diglett chips.
All right, we have all the answers are in.
So coming from Corbin again. I wanted them to give me the
amount of a number of cannons that bar stories has in each of
its forms, right? Corbett responded with original
has two, Mega has three and giganta.
Max has One Curtis responded with vanilla equals 2 Mega
equals 3. Gigante Gigante tamez execs has
equals 31. I get what you were trying to
write their gigantic. All right, that's wrong.
So, you are both correct and its regular form.
Blastoise has two cannons and mega it has 32 on its arms and
then the two on its backs back gets transformed into one Cannon
and then giganta Max. It has 31, so 30 kind of smaller
Dual Cannons and then one giant one.
Hell yeah money. Exactly.
Correct. I am so proud.
That was I think that was the hardest question.
There's one more. There's one more question.
We got this. Curtis regular blast.
Shut up. I am.
I cannot believe you were talking over me while I'm trying
to read this question. All right, she's a here.
Here, let me, let me wipe those tears away.
Come back. Come out here.
Blastoise. No, no, let's go.
No More Tears or more water. Okay, let's just get on with it.
Last question you don't want to be crying if you don't have
eyeballs, just saying true. All right?
Keep going. Okay, question, number four,
regular Blastoise is said to have incredible accuracy with
its cannons, which form throws this accuracy out.
Out the window. Mmm-hmm got it done submitted
one. It this actually might be my
first 100. I'm gonna be real with you guys.
This is a good feeling. Well don't gloat just yet.
All right I won't glow just yeah I still I still withhold
permission to dock points for being annoying.
For talking, while another student is still completing
their quiz. All right, fine.
I'll just hum. Listen, we know we know mr.
Curtis requires a lot of focus to write even the simplest of
words. It takes a lot of brain power to
fire that body up. Have to use as little as little
of the dark space as possible. The dark space, okay?
Answers are n well, so Corbin responded that the format which
Blastoise is not accurate. Is its giganta Max form.
Curtis responded with gigantic, Zack goes for the big boom.
Boom, not the zoom, zoom accuracy.
Are you like fucking high? Why can't you just write giganta
Max? Hey, mr.
Curtis, I think was a great answer, rhymed and everything
and you almost spelled giganta. Max correctly.
So I'm very proud of you, right? Jesus, thank you, Professor.
Thank you. That's all I wanted.
You know. Hey, sometimes a student, just
needs a little bit of just a little bit of a security and
some belief in him. And that's what I'm here to
provide. Thanks, no, no.
Now, I am. So surprised because even the
dumb idiot Corbin was a The get a 100% on this quiz cured it was
it was amazing. So we have two perfect 100's
from this occurs and Corbin certainly a reason for
celebration indeed, shall I get blasted boy out here so he can
know shoots no, make some water slides.
There's no, let's just I got it. Look, I got friends to me, let's
go. I don't want Blastoise out here
shooting out eyeballs and making me change my cake and I don't
have it. Change of clothes.
So I have to run home naked if you if you that Blastoise blast
me. So let's just not have them out.
Okay? All right fine.
I don't know why you guys guys loves charcoal, guys.
Just hate Blastoise. So sad.
Alright, so before we finish today's lesson, I would like to
ask you guys as I always do, what is the next Pokemon that
we'll be talking about? Now this is a little bit
difficult because it's not the evolved form asks, not one of
the so-called starter Pokemon its a Pokemon right Caterpie.
Yes. The Pokemon composed entirely of
Pi is 0. That's my favorite sounds
delicious cookie into. That does taste tasty.
I'm going to go with Weevil. I think it's Weevil.
No. Okay, Corman was correct.
It is Caterpie. It's pronounced P.
Knot knot Pie, use me. I can understand.
It's spelled like pie but it's pronounced to be gotcha.
And before I fully close out this lesson, I would like to.
I know that some students are a little bit more shy about, you
know, presenting questions that they may have in class.
So I just want to let you, let everyone know that we have
alternate means of contacting contacting me.
So if you have questions that you would like to ask me during
my office hours, you can do so by emailing me at wwo Pokemon at
gmail.com or if you don't have access to any kind of Gmail
account, you can also find me on what is this called?
It's I think I'm sorry, I'm so new to technology.
I don't really access this that much.
It's called Twit Twitter to Twitter.
Yeah, it's a Twitter. Twitter Twitter.
Yes it has a little picture of a of a sparrow here.
I guess. Bluespirit wins.
Right Birds, I don't know. But yes, you can contact me
there at wo Pia podcast. So feel free to ask any
questions and we are regularly posting information and primers
and just interesting stuff on That Twitter account.
So feel free to look around and ask questions if you have any
but until then, until our next lesson class is dismissed