Hello there and welcome to the world of Pokemon.
My name is Professor Jacob and thank you so much for attending
this lecture on Pokemon biology. Joining me here in the
classroom. Today is of course, my wonderful
teaching assistant. Oh mr.
Curtis mr. Curtis, if you could, please say
hello to everybody. Hi perfect.
Sir. Oh my goodness.
Wow. High-class sound.
Really a, you'll have the energy.
You normally do. What's wrong with you today?
Jeez, I don't really care. Also, here in the classroom
today is our trainer and training.
Young Corbin you could please say hello to everybody.
Hello Professor. It's not Nice.
It's almost as if there's a set amount of Happiness.
It's like a resource that could be used in this classroom and
today Corbin has all of it and mr.
Curtis has none of it when it's normally the other way around
all for me. Mr. Curtis.
What's got you? So Doom and Gloom and vileplume
today. Huh.
What's the deal? You got a death in the family?
She won't know. I I just I just want to talk
more about bug Pokemon and professors.
Well, Do I have a treat for you? I absolutely love Kris.
How did you know, Professor? You said we were doing it book
type Pokemon today. I know.
Well, we aren't, we aren't doing that, but, but you'll be happy
to know that there are a lot more bug type Pokemon to talk
about. So, hey, so, yeah, look, that's
a little treat. That's a little future treat for
you. It's not it's not a right now
tree, but it's a little future treat.
I want to right now, treat well. Well, how about the treat of
learning, what Pokemon we're going to be talking about today,
who is it? And I didn't ask and ask if you
guys know but if you want to say sore, go for it.
Oh, is it what type is it today? Can give me a hint.
It is a water type, who, who it's gonna be Alma night.
No, although I like that, you're keeping it in the Kanto region.
That's nice Totodile immediately.
He's he's, he's heard when I'm happy about and decided to throw
it away. Just to wait, his turn it on,
not Canto. Now it's Johto actually.
So they're primarily, I guess exclusively in the Johto region,
where they're found, but now it's not, it's not Totodile mr.
Curtis. Do, you have a incorrect, guess
you would like to throw out there.
Isn't it the surgery? Hahaha kind of so funny.
Every time you knew what I was going to ask.
How did you know? Mr. Curtis, I need to turn the
front. I know all the way upside.
I don't like it. I don't like this.
That really bringing the I'm used to you being the most
annoying person alive. I say person in quotes.
I'm used to being the most annoying person alive.
And what is this, huh? Why you such a sad Sally today?
Hold on, hold on. I got it.
Hold on.
I know it always. Cheers me up.
Let me just get something out of my bag real quick.
What does he see? Grabbing?
Yep. That's that's all I needed.
So many glass now, just, I gotta know, I'm not looking, I'm not
going to look at it, but what is it?
I was get a good look. What did you do?
Oh, it's just, it's just a picture of one of my spinner
acts at home. Oh, I do it.
I do it for them baby. I last saw you.
I saw you, I saw you sniffing your backpack, so I was
wondering like oh no I was just smelling there.
I know I was just I was just looking at a picture.
You know what's up Gary? The Shroomish just chilling of
your back. Pack and the nose smell them.
Okay. Okay we'll just that all takes
is a picture of a spinarak to put you in a good mood.
All right. That's all right.
That's all I need. What more is there to want in
life? Honestly screw therapy.
That's all you need like any spinarak specific know just, I
mean specifically my spinarak. I mean, you know, I don't want
to look at any subpar span, right?
Oh, of course. Yeah, you have to look at your
Abominations, right? Yeah, I'm looking at that
picture with spinarak and I can already play on a few.
Since he's, let's call them with regular spinner acts that I'm
sure we can go into more detail and Professor.
What's the Pokemon today? Oh well, the Pokémon that we're
learning about today is like I said, a water type is
everybody's favorite everybody's favorite water to, huh?
Uh huh. All the students at home already
know who it is because well it's the title of this lesson.
But since I guess you guys don't read the syllabus, you have no
idea. It is we have a syllabus?
Yes, be honest. Aside make a very important that
you should read the syllabus but nobody ever does.
We're learning about Magikarp today.
Okay. Magic are.
Yeah. Also known as the fish Pokémon.
What? Yeah, that's kind of cool.
Just adjust the fish Pokémon. What do you guys ish?
The one and only what do you guys know about Magikarp?
Just out of curiosity? I can't keep them out of my pond
through every time I fish him out there, just right back in
there. Well your POD at you.
Upon your house, it's in the woods behind my house, right?
Okay, cool. I know that all of our magic
carp are dead in our pond out at the school because the technical
Tentacruel. I'm sorry Tentacruel easy going
to hate them all. During that one lesson that was
horrific. Actually you'd be interested to
know that we do have one left and actually I actually have it
here today if you would like to say, I mean I I'm sure you've
clearly All seen a Magic Carpet. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Of course, of course.
But this is the, this is the sole survivor of the tentacle
great. Are you kidding me?
Strongest of the strong. I have such, I have such high
expectations. This is going to not wait, such
a, a killer ruler Magikarp. Here.
There's no way he would have survived in the way.
It's honestly like, I'm meeting a celebrity.
I'm really excited. Do you guys want to give it a
name before I even throw it out since you guys seem so like you
know, no it's it has to be a name that strike.
Sphere. Okay, just make sure you know
that this is going to be a fierce fighting Magikarp, the
sole survivor Professor, I command you to send it out so we
can name it. Wow.
I do not like being commanded. Actually, Professor, I beg you
to send it out. That's better.
I do.
I do enjoy, pleading. All right.
Okay. Here is the Lone Survivor
Magikarp. With a Splat like that I would
say that is in Evan that's a never hit the ground real hard.
Evan? Yeah, everything.
Okay. Yeah, we'll go with a trike
sphere. Evan had a sole survivor of the
pond, is it seven living up to your expectations guys.
You know, I was about to say he's not, he's not really
invoking much fear to get - could you do?
Do something just poke a reason. It's okay.
Well, he's doing the standard thing that that magikarps Do.
The Magikarp are known for and everybody do the splash.
Yes, sucking. Whoa.
Okay. I mean, they, they kind of just
flop around. We call it Splash.
Technically is the technical term.
I mean, it's not, it's on dry ground, right?
It's not really splashing like it's kind of cute in a weird way
but like honestly, why would anyone use this in a Pokémon
battle that is plus you really can't use it in a Pokémon
battle. Now, I mentioned before that,
there are Pokemon that you absolutely should not use.
I think, I think Caterpie was one of the Pokemon theme
Metapod, metal Bond and Metapod. Do not like I cannot stress.
This enough, do not go into a battle with a Caterpie.
They're not for battling. I mean, honestly, even a Pidgey
really isn't they, aren't they? They aren't they aren't
combative, right? They don't like to fight.
This guy is worth nothing but as food on the plate I'm nothing.
But as food on the plate. Yeah.
Nothing this this spooky we call it nothing but as food on the
plate, actually around these parts.
So well-worded, Mr. Turner, it's, I mean, it's a little bit
like, I don't know, like what is going on inside that head
anything there, anything in there.
Hello, like what? I poke it here with the The pain
don't do that enough. Yeah can I get ink on it?
Nothing. Okay okay there's nothing in
there so it's called it stupid. We called it dumb useless.
It's almost ironic what other synonyms can we use?
Oh well, it's an idiot. Well, I would like to thank you
actually weirdly enough to describe it.
Like just just just what it looks like.
Listen. Listen, listen fellow students
at home. It looks like a floppy, chubby
orange plate. I don't know what to tell you,
if you, if you could picture the most boring shade of orange,
that's what you got. That's what you got right there.
Yeah, it's a weird, like off crimson orange.
It's just, it's red. All right.
Don't be lying to the students. It is ready.
Mr. Curtis is that a read to you?
It's like I've been telling Leon red if I bend down here and look
at it this way, kind of looks like or Orange.
Now, if you look at it this way I would say it looks a little
Scarlet but like now it's that is that is burnt orange and I'm
that's garbage right there. Just well, he's got other
identifying features. He's got fins on either side of
them did a little his not fins. Now while you guys were talking
I did look up Vert orange, it is not burnt orange.
Well alright, potato potahto that's the color that my my
burnt orange feels like listen. I look at our Our beautiful
class flag every single day and as you'll remember, our school
colors are classic red and slightly darker red.
So where does he lie? And like what he would we be
able to put him on our flag? Well, I don't think he's quite
classic red. I think he's a little bit
lighter than classic red. He's like orange red.
Okay. It's just, it's just read.
It's not orange. All right.
It's definitely an orangish red. I mean as long as we're all
willing to agree that's more in the red side than it is, I tell
you what we can't agree on. Yes.
He does have Evan here. Does have a little crown on his
head and it is yellow right? We all agree on that.
At least. Yes, that's yellow.
That is gonna be your crown on his head.
And then he's got these long, yellowish golden whiskers
goldish size, Affairs of his face, and that's pretty much it.
I mean he's just a scaly little water boy, he has got a couple
fins, it's got like a tail fin and in Donna's belly, he Another
like kylix a little bit like a crown.
Like the one that I was hanging upside down Crown.
Yeah, but it's got four points instead of three points and
yeah, and so, that's what it looks like.
But also it's just guys, you know, we've said some mean
things about Magikarp here observed of all deserve other
shirt because it is a dumb Pokemon, is a weak Pokemon is a
useless Pokémon. We should all hate it, but I
don't think we've said a thing that's worse than what the
Pokedex. These SE, are you serious?
It's just gonna be like a roast of magic card for the Pokedex
entries. This is a beat-down, this is
it's as if it's a tie, it's not way.
It's as, if all of the Pokémon professors, from around the
world got together, just to beat the crap out of Magikarp.
Wow, I love it. Is love.
I honestly, I love it. So, Evan, just just rest.
Well, knowing that nobody likes you.
Nobody likes you Evan, by the way, we're talking, we're
talking to Evan the magic card, not Even our virtual student who
we named the magic carpet after who support us on patreon.
That's why we named it after him.
Sure. Thank you.
Yes, get that in there. Yeah.
Shameless plug. Yeah, we'll talk more about that
later on. We can't pick one out for you.
Support us on patreon. Thank you.
Bye-bye, but yeah. So um, listen Professor, I've
seen enough of them. Okay, I've seen enough send him
away. He didn't ways there have to go
to the breeding farm upstate. Wow, not even him.
Wow. Can I drop him outside the
window? And he'll make it to the The
pond, I'm pretty sure no breeding for you, buddy.
Oh, that's right. He goes.
All right, I heard the splash. Let's let's read some Pokedex
entries, guys. I honestly I got to tell you.
I can't wait. Yeah, they're pretty awful.
Alright, let's start off in the Kanto region in the distant
past. It was somewhat stronger than
the horribly weak. Descendants that exist today.
Mmm. Yep, horrible horribly weak.
This So, horribly weak and discuss the next one, says
famous for being very unreliable, it can be found
swimming and seas, lakes rivers and shallow puddles.
You always so sad to see the magic arms that ended up in
Shallow, puddles, honestly. Yeah, that's the worst.
You know, they aren't going to live there for a long note.
Nope, that's what I bust out the hair dryer.
So what my here's my question, famous for being the It's awful,
mr. That is also famous for being a
superior skills map herbs. Why would anybody look at a
Magic Carpet think? Oh, I'm going to rely on that.
This, I'm going to ask this magic card.
Pick up my kids from school, right?
Right. Exactly.
Magic arm. Come on, let me just clarify, I
was joking. I would never condone the
killing of any Pokemon, a water type or otherwise.
Okay, right, exactly exactly. I'm sure we'll see what the
officer Jenny's Say. Yeah that poor Squirtle not been
accused of Anything that poor squirrel.
You've been accused of everything.
You just have not been arrested yet.
Unfortunately. Yeah, I can't it's been so long.
I can't believe they haven't pinned him down yet one of
these. It's not going investigation.
Yes revolving Squirtle murder. I don't I have no comment if I'm
just yeah actually legally you cannot comment on the situation.
So good job. Alright.
The next entry says whoever its opponent and however horrible
the attack it receives, all it does is Splash around.
Useless zillion, honestly, Brazil.
Sure, yeah. I mean it doesn't it and you
know maybe it just it just doesn't have any anger and it's
heart, right? You can beat it up as much as
you want. And all its going to do is
Splash because it's just wants to splash splash.
Splash, splash splash. Yeah, you could just beat it up
and catch a charge and it's just going to Splash there.
Extra-long extra hard. Yeah, so Mike, here's my thing
about this, when all else fails just splash and that's going on
a t-shirt, I don't know. I did that does not deserve to
be on a t-shirt. That's all.
I don't think so it also fails just flash if the professor says
no then it's no sorry because that's kind of like you know
splashes going to do something but splashes famous for not
doing anything. Well it's kind of like it's a
good message for the kids that like when everything goes wrong
and all you can do is just sit there and flail around in your
own excrement. Oh my wait.
Is that part going on the shirt? The excrement part sure.
Yeah sure as long as you're happy and you're just you know
bouncing around splashing and possibly soiling yourself.
That's really all that matters. I don't think this is a good
message that we should be sending to our students, I mean,
but what good message could you say about my Jacquard?
Hopefully, our students are all potty-trained, right?
Hopefully, I mean. Yeah.
Until we tell them that they should prove their pants.
It's okay to flop around. Poop your pants oil themselves,
you heard from mr. Professor Jacob.
Now don't do that. I do not.
I do not condone that. I should do that your You're
gonna get, you're gonna get some angry parents.
I don't know, close. I was so close.
Little Timmy sold himself because he heard on Professor
James class. It was fine to do it and not
only fine, but he should do it, it will solve all your problems.
I'm ready. All right, hold on.
Now Curtis, do you want to hear what the Johto entries are 44
imaginary? All right, first one says, An
underpowered pathetic Pokemon. Wow, got them.
It may jump high on rare occasions, but never more than
seven feet, you could have just left it jump, high, and have to
make them feel bad, never more than 70.
If you if you see it's jump seven feet and 1 inch that is
not a Magikarp that is watch out that isn't there's something
there's a ditto or something. Yeah, that is not real, not real
fake Magikarp. The next one says for no reason.
It jumps and splashes about making it easy for Predators
like a pidgeotto to catch it. Mid-jump.
Mmm. Oh, okay.
So like 7 feet is good enough height.
So Pidgeotto can just swoop down and get it.
Yeah, it's like perfect Pidgeotto snackin snack and
height of it, honestly. So like, you know, honestly it
really kind of feels like Magikarp just exists to be pray
for other Pokémon. You know, there you go.
Which that's a good idea. It's kind of messed up honestly,
that I mean. Yeah.
It is because like, so so Arceus, right?
We all know that Archie has created all Pokemon correct.
Yes. Our Lord and savior.
Well, not quite from the true form of Mew.
Yes. So he intended for there to be a
Pokemon that just completely useless and all its therefore is
being eaten. Sure.
Yeah. I just kind of mess up.
The next entry says, this weak and pathetic Pokemon gets easily
pushed along rivers when there are strong currents, hmm,
pathetic cards or toss that about pathetic.
Okay, moving on to the Hoenn region.
The first century says, sorry, really start to dig into
Magikarp. I feel like love it.
Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only
capable of flopping and washing this Behavior prompted
scientists to undertake Research into it.
It's just a bunch of scientists pull this thing out of the
water. What's the deal with this thing?
It all it does is flopping. Splash, plop and splash plop
Splash. It's all it.
Does we have to research this? There has to be more to it.
We have to spend millions of taxpayer dollars, finding out,
why it only flops and splashes. You see a scientist like on a
tablet, like a desk and a computer, just like crunching
the numbers, he's like takes his glasses off.
It is, you know, just Showcase for his knees like God, there
has to be a reason and you like, slams, his fist on the desk.
He's like, plays, like sitting there like, with a whiteboard,
he's like, he's planning something, he liked it.
He has something and goes and they get crosses it out.
He's like, no, no, no, it's all wrong.
No, no, it flight so that it's flashing it splashes that if
plops you have to, and then you come back a day later and up on
the pinboard wall, there's like three different pictures of
Magikarp. And a pond in some red string
that connected and then like and then like a pidgeotto and it's
connected to it. But it says 7p only and then
there's a big, there's a big sticky note that just says, why
why can you imagine how great this would be if we had somebody
animate this? All of it, mad, I think, I think
it's better just through purely audio and us like, you know,
speaking it into existence, right?
No, let's go, no animator. Could could hope to match My
true artistic prowess only? Yeah they I don't think they
could, they could try but they don't think they could.
Yeah. If you're Miss.
Listen if you're not a patreon supporter you're missing out on
Kurt mr. Curtis is drawing.
So that's all I'm saying, oh God, very excited to see
Magikarp. As I'm sure all the students
are, I can't wait. Alright, the next entry says,
Magikarp is virtually useless in battle, as they can only /
around right as a result is considered to be weak.
However, Understandable. However, it is actually a very
Hardy Pokemon that can survive in any body of water, no matter
how polluted it is. Wow.
Okay, cool. Something nice.
I guess Burchfield a little bit. It's a little bit bad about that
first century where he called it a and I quote pathetic excuse
for a Pokémon he's like all right I would I went in a little
hard let's let's dial it back. I mean it's resilient it's it
can live in nasty, disgusting poo water.
Honestly, all right, the next entry says it's swimming.
Muscles are weak so easily, so it is easily washed away by
currents in places where water pools.
You can see many Magikarp deposited there by the flow.
Okay. All right, so just like the end
of a river. Yeah.
Because the question is, how
would they get Upstream to begin with, right?
As they're picked up by some of the pigeons to be eaten?
They just accidentally dropped the moment to live stream,
taking them Bite or two, Mmm, Yeah, Baby.
All the flopping and splashing around in the, in the Pidgey,
Pidgeotto Stalin's causes it to be dropped and it flows down
river into a deposit. Exactly.
Yes. Wow.
We got it all figured out here. One more entry from the Hoenn
region and says it is a virtually worthless in terms of
both power and speed. All right, he's back on that.
He's back on the hate train. He's like, you know, I changed
my mind. I hate magic Art is virtually
worthless in terms of both power and speed.
It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world.
Hear hear. Wow, that's a bold statement.
Like, it sounds like I'm making this up.
It sounds like I just want to. I just want to insult magic Art
more, but now this is an actual pokedex entry.
That's another absolute in the Pokédex that we, you know, we've
talked about Charizard, we've talked about other Pokémon.
We talk about gold Doug, being the fastest Pokemon alive or
whatever. That's a statement.
It is dead. Golduck is the fastest in water.
Sorry, excuse me, fastest. Yes it does.
Doesn't say, I Birch. Think it's the most because I
post month. It says, it is the most weak
pathetic confirmed in the world. Not even in the Kanto region in
the entire world in the, on the whole planet out of every single
Pokemon that's been registered out of all 1,000-plus.
This is it, this is it this weaker than Caterpie weaker than
a Metapod or cocoon? You know, any of those weak
Pokemon. Okay.
The next entry is from the center region and I love the
wording here. The wording is so good it says
it is said to be the world's weakest Pokemon.
No one knows why it has managed to survive.
Not how not why? Why why?
I just picture these professors just walking up to this thing.
Flopping around being like why do you even bother to live?
Why do you bother everybody hates Magikarp?
Oh my God. The next entry says it is unable
to swim against even slow moving currents.
It always splashes about for some reason.
Yep, you know, some reason I'll never find out why and I mean,
we're researching it. I'm sure that somebody has been
dissecting Magikarp brains to try to figure out why it's doing
that. The next entry says, a Magic
Carpet living for many. Many years.
Okay now This, I don't believe this one.
I'm sorry. I just I don't believe this one.
First of all, I want to get that stated it out there.
Know what? No, it's in the Pokédex, it's
real and has to be real. All right, I have to have to
stick up to fight for my convictions if it's in the
Pokédex. It's real.
All right here. Yeah, I love it.
A Magikarp living for many years can leap over a mountain using
Splash, huh? The move remains useless though
but but it's like But what about happened?
What happened to the seven feet? Yeah, I would say, I mountain is
higher than seven feeds. So I don't, this, this is, this
is in direct opposition of an entry from The Johto region.
So Rowan and Elm, should kind of, you know, get together and
figure. There's no, I think happened, I
think a child wrote that in a child saw seven foot Mound and
said that's a mountain. Oh and Rowan's like, okay yeah,
I'll put this in my Pokedex, whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's let his kid, right?
That, Place in the Pokédex. So you know it is have yeah.
It can leap a mountain using Splash that is apparently, I
mean but it doesn't match carb living for many years.
Let's be honest, a Magikarp isn't going to live for many
years so it's kind of like a folktale, really?
Yeah, probably not. Yeah probably if there was a
magical Magikarp that tent somehow managed to survive a few
years, then maybe it might be able to jump more than seven
feet who knows. It's useless broken.
As you spoke C'Mon y'all Grand that.
All right, so nothing new from the, you know, region or
callous. I mean, I was really hoping that
we'd the distant. Finally be the entry that Kalos
got in on and was, like, I just, I just gotta slam on Magikarp,
but, unfortunately, no, moving on to the Aloha region.
The first entry says, although we can helpless this Pokemon is
incredibly fertile, huh? They is, this Pokemon is
incredibly fertile. Oh, Mr. Curtis you might want to
think twice about saying that Magikarp up to the breeding Farm
your yeah. No, it's definitely not going to
go up there. Can't have that peripheral
rating and in eating up all the egg and competitors.
No way. Okay, that's not how I don't
think that's how it works. I mean, I'm not a Pokemon
breeder, so what do I know? It's right, I'll go in an
incubator, okay, sure. The Centre goes on to say.
They exist in such multitude multitudes.
You'll soon grow tired of seeing them?
Yeah, no kidding. I'm already tired.
Yeah. Yeah, I see him play.
See like 20 on my way to work. Hmm, it's Reckless leaps.
Make it easy pickings for Predators on the bright side.
I don't think this is the right spot right side but whatever on
the bright side, many Pokemon enjoy longer lifespans, thanks
to Magikarp. Wait why?
Just because they can because they eat because they eat the
magico. So it's like on the bright side
for other Pokemon but not for magic are.
But who cares about Magikarp, they suck?
I mean that's assuming that your lifespan is automatically
extended. Just because you eat on a
regular basis, which I don't think Well, I would I would
definitely say that your lifespan is shortened if you
don't eat. That's I mean, yeah.
But all right, whatever in places where food is scarce,
there's like hundreds and hundreds of Magikarp and I guess
apparently don't really need to eat.
What when you magikarps even eat algae?
Probably. Probably sand.
Sand rocks. Just they're Bottom.
Feeders. Is this crunch on rocks?
They just us most the nutrients out of the water.
Yeah, baby. The next entry says in In the
distant past, they were fairly strong but they have become
gradually weaker over time. Hmm.
Like how strong you think is like fairly strong?
Like like Machoke, strong or like?
Um, I would say maybe like Caterpie strong.
Yeah, yeah. Like capable of doing something
other than splashing, but still not super impressed.
Come on like compared compared to what it is.
Now, it's considered strong, but it's still like in the grand
scheme of Pokemon, it's still a big.
Maybe, look at the time. It was even considered weak.
But now it's like, especially, I don't know.
It says it says fairly strong though.
So, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put at the level of like a macho or
Machop or anything like that, but maybe maybe a Poliwhirl may
be. It may be a man key.
I would say Paulie, I would say Poliwag.
I don't know. I think Poliwag is too weak.
It says it says fairly strong. I know.
Anyways, they became gradually weaker over time for some reason
I cannot see the benefit of becoming weaker a Sides.
You know just becoming food for other Pokemon but whatever.
Next entry says thanks to their stronghold on life.
Dirty water doesn't bother the bother them at all.
They live in water Waters all over the world.
They live in waters all over the world.
Them having a stronghold on a stronghold on my what does that?
So like their their their will to die.
So their will to not, die is so great that they can survive in.
Water. Is that what that means?
I don't know. I'll be fully honest that it
doesn't make a lot of sense to me their stronghold.
I don't, I don't know what that on life.
I mean I think it just means like what we've already said
before. Is that they're hearty, right?
That they are that they are resilient.
I think that's what that means pretty much right because I mean
clearly it's not they don't it's not that they just want to keep
on. On living so much that they
never die. That's not true because you know
they jump right in the exact height that's perfect for
Pidgeotto is to pluck them out of the air, out of the air.
So I don't think they really have that that self-preservation
mechanic or this is, what's the thing that Pokémon have Instinct
Instinct? They don't have the Instinct.
They don't have that self-preservation instinct that
you know most other Pokemon do. So I do.
As I don't think that's what a stronghold on life means.
Right, right. Okay.
That does it for the Aloha region.
Now, there's nothing new in the gal, are or the pal Daya region.
However, there is an entry of an ancient text here from the Hisui
region. It says a feeble, pitiful,
imbecile of a Pokemon that is nonetheless very Hardy.
Oh yeah, nice unperturbed by turbine.
Water. It can be found living in all
sorts of places. Yeah.
So it's an imbecile. That's a new one.
Yeah, it's an imbecile. But it could withstand a lot of
polluted water. We know that about it.
Yeah I can it's just has a just those strong will to live.
All right we have another entry from the lentil region.
Okay. Sorry, I was expecting Corbin
to. So I've never heard of that
place before I listen, I've done my research.
I know that the lentil Regional is a real place.
It's doesn't sound like it, but I've done my research.
I fact-checked, it is a real place.
Okay? You'll hear nothing from me
again. I do think that luncheon
Regional is an interesting place to go.
Visit, I'll wait out here, nothing from you again.
You hear nothing. Nothing from me again about the
lentil region. Because I know for sure I
thought you were just saying that just to test me.
Make sure I was paying attention.
I did confirm that Israel reach. Okay.
Everybody can rest safely. Thank you.
All right, this entry says, wherever there's a body of
water. Our odds are you'll find a
Magikarp. All it does is flop around, so
it seems kind of weak, but it may in fact be hard easier than
it looks, it may be harder. You know, Magikarp is not a
great Pidgey in a coal, mine Pokemon but but you know, to
test water her to see if it's, you know, feasible for other
water-types to live in. But hey, you know what?
If you don't, if you've got a body of water, that's nasty and
you gotta put something in it to just.
Yeah, try and clear it out then you just put some magic harp in
there. You think I'm a jerk?
I was going to clear it out. It might like eat some of the
scum and the gross -, you know, I don't know.
Who knows it? Who knows what it is from?
What I've heard? It's useless.
I don't know if it's going to really do that.
It's a trash Pokemon. Oh yeah, it's useless.
So yeah, I can't use it. To clean bodies of water.
That's true. Yeah.
Because then it would have a use and therefore not be useless.
Right? Right right.
I apologize. That was a dumb Assumption of
mine. Yeah.
Now so yeah don't use this Pokemon as a Pidgey in the coal.
Mine common phrase that we are all used to.
Yes. That does it for the regional
Pokedex entries. I do have a couple of unique
Pokedex entries here, the first one and the second one actually
comes to us from ashes Pokédex. The first one says, Magikarp the
fish Pokémon Magikarp, can live in the dirtiest of water.
It jumps. A very well and can evolve into
Gyarados who now Garrett Hoops. Oh yeah, gerotor.
Sorry, sorry. Yeah, girls is cool, Pokémon.
Yeah, but there's no way that magikarps evolved into Gyarados.
I mean, come on. Oh, it's true.
They do such a, such a, such a cool Pokémon coming from such a
loser Pokemon. No way.
As kind of surprising always thought that Gyarados was like a
variant of like, I don't know like seconds or something.
Yeah, yeah I didn't realize it turned his because Just because
it doesn't have legs well. Yeah, it's obviously a Lapras
without its shell. I mean, you know that's what it
is right. I love these theories about
Gyarados. I can't, we'll talk about that
more when we get to Gyarados, which is next week.
Ah, it's coming up, believe it or not, because it doesn't fall
for Magikarp. Anyways, the next entry says,
Magikarp the fish Pokémon because all Magikarp seem to do
is oh, by the way, this does come to us from ashes Pokedex
said, just in case. Yes, yes yes, yes, yes.
Because all Magikarp seem to do is Splash around some consider
them week, but they're actually a Hardy Pokemon that can survive
in water, no matter how dirty it is, no matter how filthy and
disgusting it is, they love it. They love the pool, water Rose,
put em in the pool water, but I'm in the poop water, they love
and put that on a t-shirt. Put them in the pool water.
Put him in the pool water. That's Right.
Alright, the last. Yeah, unique entry comes to us
from goes Rotom phone. It says Magikarp the fish
Pokémon a water-type with neither strength nor Be in a
Magikarp is thought to be the weakest Pokemon of all.
We gonna spoken uyghurs? Yes.
All right, listen. So I think we can take from
that. Does it for all the Pokedex
entries? By the way?
I think we can take from the Pokedex that everybody hates
magic. A Magikarp sucks, and it's
useless and don't waste your time with it.
Even waste your time, eating it actually.
Oh yeah, you might get polluted right?
Actually. Yeah, like it depending on.
I mean, You can get some like well-sourced, Magikarp, I guess,
and there are restaurants that do serve them but I mean it's
like they're just they're just worthless.
They're just worthless. Yeah.
But that does it for the lesson portion and now it's time for
the testing portion which I love.
No and guys, no, no no. Yes actually.
I'm so excited Professor. Well, that's good.
Sound like it go. Look at that.
Picture of your spinarak again. I'm sorry.
Yes, quiz time. Please no quiz.
I have something much more difficult for you guys today and
like that. My energy is gone again, he's
melting. No, no, I would like for you to
pitch me a Pokemon. Which one Magikarp what
professorship is hugely useless thing?
Yeah, no way. So I not be island of My
Pokemon, right? Because that's how we get
Pokémon, right? And you have all you have is a
Magikarp and you need to get me to buy your Magikarp.
All right impossible, you could just pick out.
You could literally walk to any body of water and pick up a
Magikarp. Why would you buy the?
My magic card? You know, it's did.
Listen, that's not for me to figure out.
That's for you to figure out mr. Curtis, you're the one selling
it. My magic Harp can poop rainbows.
All right, well hold on, hold on, let me read the rubric
first. Alright, alright.
So as we all remember, The pitch of Pokemon rubric is that one,
you must include information that we learned in class and to
you must demonstrate an understanding of the Pokemons
unique, attributes and abilities.
There's the two that are common throughout all the rubrics that
we have. Third is, you must provide two
different selling points in your pitch.
And the selling points must be for the Pokemon itself and not
for the product. It provides or produces.
Although I mean, I couldn't really think of something that
had your car produces that you could use Sushi to feed to your
Amy's. Yeah, well maybe I don't don't,
don't use all your good ideas Corbin, sorry, sir, sir, sir and
then the last point on the rubric is a student.
The student who provides the most compelling selling points
will get a bonus points. All right.
Whoo, you guys ready? Yes, yes.
Wow. You guys, you guys had that real
quick, you had it all ready to go.
I thought it was gonna be a lot harder to do but you know
whatever. You know what that's good.
That's good. Who would like to First, I'm
going to go ahead and be a gentleman and I'm going to say I
should go first. Okay?
Very good. Okay, it's gentlemanly?
Well that's okay. I take it away Corbin.
All right, so you're in the mood for a Magic Carpet.
You need one you want one, you know, or maybe you don't need
one. But I can give you one or give
you reasons. Why you should go give it to me
for free, well, for a small price of 999?
No, no, y'all gives you free? Okay.
Yeah, I am Corbin's that Corpus in the lead here.
With a free folk. So I got two big reasons that a
Magikarp would be useful. Now, the first one I'm going to
mention is a little bit less practical of a day-to-day thing.
This is just something that could be used for, you know, a
lot of things I think in society.
So one of the cool things you can do with the Magikarp is you
can use them to Dam up polluted river, Rivers, you know, for
power plants or what have you Or let's say there's flooding going
on. You need to reroute some water
that's just I don't know. On your property.
Shirley gross dirty polluted water could be run off or
something. All you guys nasty water, right?
All you gotta do is just pile up you, man, if you magikarps and
there you go. Now you got a damn.
And now you can reroute or redirect the stream of polluted
water. It doesn't matter how polluted
it is because Magikarp can withstand it whenever.
So that's a little bit of the less practical day-to-day.
Today reason for a Magikarp is using them to Dam up rivers and
stuff. Like I could do that with wood
or dirt snow. No see these things are sturdy
and we know that about the wood, it'll Road, it'll go away with
with concrete and all these other materials.
Listen, you know, the weather's going to wear it down.
I mean like The Magikarp they've been around for a long time,
they're sturdy, they're Hardy, we know this, the Pokedex
entries have said this. Now, the Every win flock of
Pidgeotto toes. Come and eat all of them.
Well then you just took a geode. Some their toes.
PG. Oats in their toes, right?
All you do is create a canopy above it and they won't jump to
you gross. Now let's hello like, like a
tree canopy. Okay.
Yeah, exactly. What are you saying?
Nothing. Don't worry my so.
Alright. Alright, so all my other reason
which is a little bit more fun, a little more practical
day-to-day that anybody could use.
I honestly have got to tell you that.
I think Magikarp would be great in the kitchen.
Wow, two best things that Magikarp could be used for
obviously want to clean the little fella first.
You don't want, you know, your dirty poop water, damn building.
I didn't use that as a curse words, so I feel like he's dirty
Food. Water Dam built your damn bill,
those poop water Magikarp. You don't want that on your
food. You obviously got to wash the
fellow first, but let me tell you the too big.
Foods that it could be used for. I'm sure you guys can think of
some more later. Number one, Smash Burgers or in
this case Splash Burgers. Oh so we love pressing down
Burgers. We love make it Smash Burgers
here in the Kanto region but guess what, why do all the work
yourself? And you know, press down on the
patties that's boring. You don't need to do that.
You get other things you can do to be chopping onions in the
other room. No, have a Magikarp.
Do all the work. Let make art a flop up and down
what your chopping onions in the other room.
Well, yeah, when case like, you know, the person that you're
cooking dinner with doesn't like onions and they cry around them.
You got to come in? Yeah, chop him in the other room
now, have the Magikarp flop all over that beef or whatever it
is, and just the other either. Smashburger other reason is a
pancakes pancakes would be fun, right?
I mean, they're already kind of flat so I guess it doesn't help
that much. My third one that I just thought
of that, I think would be even better would be a pizza.
Pizza would be great. You got to smash up the do
anyways, you got a flat Then you got to put it all around there,
imagine having two to three magic carpets, just go into
town, at your Pizzeria, just just kneading the dough
splashing around on it, flopping it about sure.
I mean honestly, that's going to need the crap out of that do and
it'll be a good time for the whole family to enjoy some nice.
Homemade pizza made fresh by your magic card.
I, I could think of so many Pokémon.
That would be better at needing to the magic while we're not
pitching them today. Are we now shut up?
That's a good point. All right.
Corbin you have any other points that You would like to add none
today. Sir, none today?
Okay, great. All right, let's move on to mr.
Curtis, let's hear his pitch. All right.
Thank you Professor. Let me.
Okay, right here. So besides, you know, oh first
of all, hold on. Let me say thank you to Corbin
for giving me his pitch. What I do.
I do enjoy listening. I'm sorry that I gave you a
little heckling there and thank for the professor for inviting
me in today. Listen I appreciate you're
always here. Okay.
All right, so besides being raised for food, the one other
role that Magikarp is a perfect match for is as a doorstop, add
a pool because it is, wow, it is so weak.
You can't put it in any water that would move and wash it
away. The lack of power and speed
makes it safe around kids and families.
Visiting the pool, if a little kid pees, in the water, it don't
matter. Well, it don't matter, p on that
carp and then that's a surety, it's its ability to jump, allows
it to trigger the motion sensor to open the door and then it can
just lay there and hold the door open.
Block it from closing as a doorstop.
But if you're worried about the AC leaking out, don't worry
because it won't be open for too long because it's just any other
Pokémon will just come along and pick it up and eat it.
So you don't have to worry about it.
Okay, thank you. That's my boy.
That was once. I'm point.
That was one. That's right.
That was only one. I mean, no, it's the selling
point is the fact that it's safe at the pool, does it matter if
it's in water, and it serves as a viable doorstop because it
could trigger the spot and then it can just lay there.
Oh, no, the only selling point is that it's a good doorstop and
Ulysses, a couple reasons why I would be a good doorstop right
for a pool, specifically, but there's no wood.
So, what's the way? So, one selling point is that it
be good. A good doorstop.
And your other selling point is that you can keep it in a pool
would know. It's it's, it's selling points.
Are the fact that it can survive in the pool, it can trigger and
open the door and then lay there and block the door and it's safe
around kids and family. Those are its selling point.
I think we need to Define what selling points means, a little
bit more going forward, because it feels like you're selling
point, is that it is a good doorstop, right?
That's that's what you're selling me on.
You're selling it to me. I'm selling.
I'm pitching it. Okay.
As a doorstop and the points that I'm using to describe how
it would be a good, are multiple points.
Are the fact that it is good as a door, stop, it can trigger the
door to open it. It's able to survive in the
nasty p water, and it's safe around kids and family.
Those are the attributes that make it a good doorstop.
The Selling points of this selling selling point some sell
it. I'm selling it as a doorstop.
The points that are, I am selling it as a doorstop for.
Are the reasons that I just listed.
I think we need to re that is how I have done.
That is how I met is true. Every picture but it's true.
It's not. How Corbin is done it?
If you may have noticed? Yes, that's why I always get it,
right? So we do it every time.
We do it differently. Yes.
And it's always it's always weighed on me.
I gotta redo this rubric and and Really, really redefine what I
want here in this, because I'm not quite sure we're hitting it.
See, I was under the impression that the two like in terms of
selling points, it's like, you can use it for this reason.
You can also use it for this completely different reason.
Like we just want, we had the same discussion when it came to
Magmar, right? Robin said it would be good for
pyrotechnics and for controlled burning, those are two different
jobs. I said it would be good as a
guide in the mountains and then listed a bunch of reasons.
Why it would be good at that because it feels like same thing
we did last so here, I know I know but so it just feels like
Corbin is pitch is selling me a Magikarp and has two different
selling points for The Magikarp. You're selling me a doorstop.
That just so happens to be a Magikarp.
I'm pitching you a Pokemon to use as a doorstop and the
selling points for using it as a doorstop.
Okay, okay. You know what, the the rubric is
vague enough, that I'm fine with it.
Oh gosh. So, I think, you know, you guys
kind of got the first two, well enough.
The third of, you know, you must provide to selling points.
Sure, yes. The fourth one is always
difficult to go with who did most compelling selling point
because As I will admit that mine is not as practical as mr.
Curtis has a doorstop, is a lot easier and it's a lot more
useless like a match car. I am going to I am going to have
to go with mr. Curtis here on, that's fair.
I what I heard it I was like oh you might get this because yours
I'm sorry Corbin. First of all I'll have to buy
multiple magikarps for that first part right.
Okay. By a bunch of magic.
That's that's fair. That's fair.
You men want to do that.
And to I don't need it. I mean, you're stuck in selling
point was a little bit better because sure, there are Pokémon
that are better at, you know, kneading dough and stuff.
But you know they're also better other things.
And I'd rather have them doing those other things.
Sure. So yes, I'm going to give this
one to two mr. Curtis, okay.
That's fair. Ah, thank you.
I'll allow it so gracious. Wow, man.
Wow, that's some nice view core. I really feel like that, that
group projects that we did. Or for pincer really really
brought us together a lot. Closer and work together because
we were taught me mr. Curtis a lot about each other
honestly. Yeah.
Like what's one thing you've learned about mr.
Curtis, I have learned that this is actually going to come as a
shock to see you guys. He actually has studied lessons
every week in the library. Did not know.
My gosh. You didn't know.
I feel like. I feel like I mentioned that
multiple times. But you know, I mean, hey,
everybody's welcome to the midweek study sesh.
Shhhh. No, everybody come visit
mid-week and always. So when is that?
Because midweek is now it's Wednesday.
I was gonna say cause midweek is Wednesday.
So we're the class is happening. Everybody knows the week starts
with this class and ends the day before this class.
Yes. On Saturday, when people have
plans, okay? Gotcha.
The midweek would be Saturday, right?
People have family and friends, you know what those are.
Right, mr. Curtis, I mean, you know what
family do I need other than my Colony spinner.
Said home. All right and it is right back
into that that spinarak Obsession oh God that Minefield.
Okay so that does it for today's lesson on Magikarp I think we
can all agree. That Magikarp sucks and is a
terrible Pokemon. Got them and put that on a
t-shirt. Does anybody know who are going
to be talking about next week? Got he, how do you die sir?
Okay, this court said that in cursive sudden couldn't quite
understand him, I think what he was saying is cry dose.
Yes, Yes. You know what?
Sure, Gyarados jarrah. Dose ggr.
Do sauna, some people say it, weird Gyarados will be learning
about Gyarados next week. The evolved form of magic card,
but you guys, you think it guessing it's gonna be, like,
stronger than magic a little bit.
I mean, I haven't really seen that many Gyarados and person,
only, like, one or two, and they're from far away.
They looks kind of small, and puny will see one in person next
week. I'm sure we always do, they're
just just a Lapras for that show quietly, you know, quite less
Useful then, you know, your standard Lapras for water
transportation. So right, well we'll find out
next week. If a Gyarados is a Lapras
without a shell but I'm not sure about that.
All right, that's gonna do it for today's lesson.
So if you have any questions you can send us a ganger mail at WWF
Pokémon at gmail.com, or you can find out something flying
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We also have a patreon if you would like to do Nate to the
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would be wonderful. But, you know, we don't, we
haven't said, talked about this before.
We don't advertise these lessons.
And anyway, not real. I'm really Really the only way
that we get new students is by word of mouth.
So if you could tell a friends that would do wonders and we'd
get plenty more students, but that's it for today's lesson.
So, until next time class is dismissed, welcome to the world
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