Hello there, and welcome to the world of Pokémon.
My name is Professor Jacob, and thank you so much for attending
this lecture on Pokémon biology. Join me out.
Jesus man, did you guys see the books fall over?
Yeah, that was kind of startling.
Yeah. That Mister Curtis was that,
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I just, I, I just
pulled on this little string right here and it knocked all
the stack of books over here. See.
Watch. Oh, oh, you did that?
That's crazy. I thought it was something else
that I'm sure we'll bring up later on in the lesson.
That's OK though. Mr. Curtis is joining me here in
the classroom today is our teacher, our teacher assistant.
Mr. Curtis, how are you? How are you today?
Spooky. Scary.
I don't what what why? What are you doing?
What is this? I'm, I'm, I got a, it's, it's
spooky, scary time, you know? No, it's, I'm pretty sure it's
class time, Mr. Curtis. But yeah, Halloween in a couple
days. Some people make me listen to
this on Halloween. You guys are the intro, right?
It's it's Pumpkaboo Day and it's.
Oh yeah, I guess that is the local term.
Here in Johto they call it the Pump Pump.
Kaboo day. What?
Do you guys, what do you guys think of my costume today?
Huh. No one, no one said anything
about it. I think it's cute.
Yeah, it's, you know, I wouldn't have got it's it's it's
interesting, Corbin, that you decided to go with a Mr. Mime
costume. I mean, well, I know it works
pretty well with kind of like just how you generally look your
your weird long game. Kind of low, kind of low effort
to be honest. I think.
You you really didn't have to do too much.
Glued some dodge balls onto your shoulders and and legs.
All right, listen, all right. This was Gordon's idea.
Originally. I was going to be dressed as
Gordon, who is the cadabra who dresses as a Mr. Rhyme.
So it was really just going to be layers and layers.
It was like costumes inside a costume.
So I was dressed as a cadabra. Then he ended which is dressed
as a Mr. Rhyme and then eventually just got too
complicated so we just said screw it.
So we just put me in a Mr. Mime outfit.
So here we are. It's not even Mr. Rhyme like,
it's just like. It's full mime, baby.
He's going full mime, Full mime. But yeah, that, that that's our
young trainer and training, Corbin.
Corbin, you've already talked 10.
Years old, happy to be here. Yeah, so as Mr. Curtis
mentioned, we are in the spooky season.
It's getting chilly out there. So, you know, the leaves are
falling off the trees. They're changing colors.
And guys, I love this time of year.
I got to be honest. It's so nice to, to, you know,
just just like cuddle up by a fire and like, you know, read a
good book before going to bed. Chestnuts roasting.
What's so, OK, I don't know if we've talked about this before,
but what's your what's your go to pumpka Boo day slash
Halloween like rituals? What do we guys do?
Corbin dresses up as a Mr. Mime kind of brings him back to his
heritage as. Well, it starts with a starts
with a crucifix and a little bit of go goat blood and I try to
summon the spirit of the gods to make Dawn love me.
I've. Been doing that in the last like
4, is that what happens? Yeah.
So you're telling me here in this lesson that you slaughter a
go goat is what you? Know that was a joke, professor.
That's what you that's what you, Corbin, do every year.
There is a ritual to to try and ask, you know, RCS to have Don
fall in love with me, but it is not.
There's no blood involved, at least not from a Pokémon.
OK, what? How?
OK, how's it going? Let's let's go through it.
I want to. I want to know.
Yeah, yeah. Break it.
Break that down. So first what I do is I lay down
completely flat on the ground, OK.
And I do have a picture of Don that I usually tape to the
ceiling and what usually happens now you're a very small.
Child. Well, before I use the latter,
but now I have Gordon the Cadabra addresses Mr. Rhyme to
do it. And So what he does is he
essentially spins me around. He like floats me a few inches
above the ground and he kind of spins me around in a circle as
I'm staring at that photo. And yeah, I just start chanting
some archaic stuff and and just try to hope for the best.
And then I usually call her up and see if she'll answer the the
phone, but it usually just goes straight to voicemail because
she's blocked my number so. And do you and real quick, did
you think you're going to get away from this conversation
without doing some of the the chants that you do Corbin,
because. It's.
Pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy to think that
you were you were going to say that and I wouldn't ask you to
tell to say some of them. I'm not allowed to listen.
It's a it's just, it's a little intimate thing that Gordon and I
do together. He gets really excited to do it
because he gets to watch me spin around and get sick.
But listen, we don't have to do all the archaic chants right
now. It's fine.
It's just made-up words. It's just made-up words.
All right, Mr. Curtis, Mr. Curtis, stuff like that, You
know what I mean? A little bit of that little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is fully made-up.
Should not be. Not yeah, I'm glad.
I thought you were going to start rapping for a second,
Corbin. I'm glad you didn't.
Know I'll save that for the voicemails.
Mr. Curtis, what are what are your?
What are your, what are your go to, you know, fall, autumn,
Halloween, potentially rituals that you like to do?
Well, of course I always start today by getting up and feeding
my spin racks and making a sacrifice to the to the night
Mother. But like, that's not really a
false. Thing is that a go go are you,
are you you both killing go goats.
No, no one's killing anything. Well, I'm not.
No, no, no, no, that that's just usually it's a a a sacrifice of
like some spinner act jerky or some like, you know, really
elaborate webbing structure that I made the night previously that
then I then burn on an altar to the night mother.
But that's like that's every day.
That's but that's really like every day I don't just do that
like for the fall. OK, Yeah.
So that wasn't the question then?
But like I. Want a Pumpkaboo spice latte
right now? Yeah.
Oh yeah. Honestly, I like an an apple in
cinnamon cider. Cider.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good. That's pretty good.
And you get that from the The Star Saws book down the street
or? Actually, no.
Cuz I cuz everybody loves their apple in cider.
I mean, I listen. Star Sawsbuck is fine.
I'm usually a Dunsparskin doughnuts kind of guy.
They have great doughnuts. Great doughnuts, all handmade by
a Dunsparse. But what about their Apple
insider? They don't really have that
there. At Dunsparse skin they don't
have that. Yeah, it is Dunsparse skin
doughnuts, obviously. So I guess they wouldn't really
do. It that's actually one of the
chance that I use it sounds like 1, doesn't it?
Dunsparse skin. Dunsparse Skin, but yeah.
OK, well I guess since nobody asks, I'll say mine.
So my let's. Hear yours, you say?
You cuddle. Cuddle up by the fire, Have some
s'mores. You go camping.
What? Is the one thing that I like to
do, you know, I try to do every day and in fall is I try to Mr.
Curtis with the books again. Stop.
Oh no, no, no. My my books.
See, my books are hooked up over here if I.
Wait, then how did those books fall down?
Oh, that, That wasn't me. Ohh my gosh.
Ohh I thought that was her. Lil Boo, I forgot that the
school decided that we'll let Lil Boo roam the class to kind
of, you know, answer favorite Halloween spirit.
Yeah. Oh, Lil Boo.
Thanks for scaring us again, Lil Boo.
Oh, hi. Hi, Lil.
Oh, she's laughing. She thought it was so funny.
Are we learning about Mischievous again?
Is that today's Pokémon? No, we're not learning about
mischievous, but you know, I, we might, we might get a little, a
little bit, a little bit a little Boo running around a
little bit, a little Boo has been untethered, Unchained from
the decrepit classroom out out in the in the in the yard.
But yeah, so cuz so she can roam the halls.
So we might see her once or twice in the lesson.
Hopefully not too much. Cuz again, I'm trying to teach a
lesson here. But no, we are, we're not
learning about Mr. Mr. Vist. But Corbin, thank you.
I need to get back on track. I just, I just love the fall
season so much. Oh, I do too.
We are learning about a Pokémon today.
Does anybody know who that Pokémon is?
Is it a decision? Why Professor?
No, Play the laugh track, Porsche play the laugh track and
put a part sound effect behind it.
Nice, nice. Nice, that's how I feel about
this. The July joke at this.
It's a Turk twig. It's not Turk Twig, no, no, no.
It's not grass type. It's actually a normal type
Pokémon and it is, and you're not gonna believe this.
It's a JoJo Pokémon. It's a Pokémon that was that is
native to the JoJo region. Really.
Corpus. No, I think that's that's a
water type, isn't it? I don't know.
You tell me. You're the professor.
It normal. Type normal type Normal type.
It is go, go, OK. Johto region here, guys.
Johto region. I mean, I guess I don't know why
I'm expecting you guys to know. The the list is running pretty
low. I know there's, there's been
some we've, we've pretty much talked about all the JoJo
Pokémon at this point. Give me a hint.
Wait, isn't Gogo a grass type? I think it's grass and normal, I
believe. I don't, I don't you, you know
me. I don't like the the typing
system, but I'm pretty sure. Grandpa, we hear it.
Oh, we don't do that typing around here.
We. No, what do you mean this said
No, no, no, I'm, I'm new. I'm like a new thinking here,
right? The, the, the, the, the typing
system has been used for decades.
For for hundreds, hundreds of years, even hundreds.
Yeah, thousands, maybe. I don't know.
Yeah. Like half of Mr. Curtis's
lifespan. Yeah, like I'm I'm here sitting
on the new I'm the this is, this is a brand new way of thinking.
I say egg groups not types cause types don't make any sense.
Yeah, they just don't. Anyways.
OK, I'm going to say we are learning about Mill Tank today.
Yeah, we know the. Perfect.
Some would say the perfect Halloween Pokémon.
Yeah, it's terrifying how awesome it is.
Yeah, scary. Corbin, have you seen a mill
tank? I'd be very surprised if you
haven't. They're kind of all over the
place here. Region.
I mean, yeah, when we in our travels, I've seen some of the
farms, There's One North of God. What is it?
Violet City? No, the one that's on the coast
with the lighthouse with the sick Amphoros that gets sick all
the time. Cinnabar.
No, it's. It's here in Joto.
It's anyways. There's a sorry, there's a
former man. It's Olivine.
Olivine Yeah, there's, there's a, there's a farm up around
there that we, we've, we've passed through a couple times on
some of our field trips. So that's the only time, but
I've never seen one up close. I've wanted to though.
OK, well you're gonna see 1 today, so yeah, I have.
Of course I have a mill tank. And Mr. Curtis, we all know
you've seen a mill tank before. Right of course, right of
course. Many a times, Really.
All right, so let's go ahead. Let's take a look at Mill Tank
here. Oh, I could see why you you had
to. You had to grunt for that
Pokeball. This is a big Pokémon.
I'm just I'm just not very strong.
Pokeball does not it's not the weight of the Pokeball is not
tied to the weight of the Pokémon at all.
Cuz Jesus. How would people like how do
people throw out a steel eggs? Corbin, use your brain for
God's. Sakes.
Oh yeah, sorry. Well, I mean, this is, this is
very cute Pokémon Miltank. She's very pretty.
She's it feels like I, I, she should be wearing clothes.
I feel like it's just invasion. I feel like I shouldn't be
looking at her. Yeah, I I can't, I have Miltank
fashion hasn't, you know, become a thing.
Like, yeah, let's let's cover some of that up.
But that's. Some of this stuff.
Doesn't need to be out, do you? Have can you take off one of
your trench coats and put that on?
Oh yeah, you can see my I don't. Know if it's weird for me to
look at the the utter or look at the eyes of the?
Eyes. Eyes, eye contact.
Is this OK? OK, this is better.
All right, I I keep glancing down.
I'll. Drink my trench coat around
around the. Well, now, hold on, hold on.
I because because I think, I think we should do, I think we
should do some kind of like a little experiment here, Corbin.
But first, Corbin, I want you to describe melting, please.
OK, so it is big. Well, I mean it's kind of
rotund. It's not very tall, but it's
pink mostly. It does have a cream belly with.
Well, it's it's an utter Corbett, is what it.
Is it's got 4 elongated nipples. OK, let's just call what it is.
It's got nipples. And Porsche a bad word, you
bleep that can you? Nipples is not a bad word.
We're not going to. I'm not going to have Porsche
bleep nipples. It it's got nipples, guys.
Everyone's got them. You listening have got them.
I've got weird about mill tanks nipples.
Okay, let's not be. Weird about mill tanks nipples,
T-shirt. And so it's got these little
cute little black hubs on either side of its feet.
You know it's front feet, back feet and then it almost looks
like it's wearing a hood. It's like it has black draped
around its head onto its like collar area and then its ears
are black and then it's got 2 little baby horns and it's got
beautiful little blue eyes. And I forgot to mention it has a
long tail that is also a cream colored tail, same color as the
utter and. But not the black.
Little ball, not the nipples. The nipples are are are nice
pink, nice flushy pink. Nice rosy pink.
Nice. You had to make it weird with
Rosie, huh? Wow, Rosie take.
Rosie. Rosie.
Like that, Rosie? Oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah. She's not looking, Rosie.
He's not looking all that good. I I gotta say.
I know you haven't. Seen a lot of Milton.
Professor, when was the last time you milked Rosie?
Well, you know, I haven't milked her recently because that's,
that's the experience I want. I want Corbin to get up there.
I want Corbin what, you know, put pedal to the metal and just
just start start milking. Let's that's that's that's the
big part of milk tank and I as a professor, I don't think I
could, you know, say that I've done a lesson on milk tank
without having somebody milk the milk tank.
So Corbin. Yeah, yeah.
You're right, all right. And it feels OK, Rosie.
Yeah, so and, and Mr. Kurz, Mr. Kurz, if you could, if you could
get up there and show and show him the technique to use to.
OK. All right.
Yeah. Don't actually do it, but like
kind of like, you know, just show him what to like what?
Corbin, come, come over this way.
All right, First thing you want to do is set it.
Pull this little stool up in front of Rosie.
OK, OK. And then, And then you say,
Rosie, Rosie, do I have your consent to milk?
Rosie, do I have your consent? To milk.
OK, great. OK.
She looks. She looks sick.
Yeah, actually, she looks very happy.
To be honest. You know, it's probably been a
little while since Rosie. 'S been milked.
Rosie, assume the position, please.
You're still on your back feet. OK.
Thank you. And then you're just going to,
you're going to reach out and you grab them over here.
Like that? Don't you guys wish this was a
visual medium? I was going to say I would love
to get some artwork of what you it's think I will pay.
Any sum to have this animated anyway?
That's right. Virtual scenes there and soft
and gentle tugs. Soft and gentle tugs.
Start from the start from like the top and then pull down
right? Is that right what you're
supposed to do? OK.
Oh, I see. OK Oh, what you're supposed to
do you have a bucket or anything?
Can you just have this leak in on the?
Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I'm yeah. Here.
I'll slide it out. We the bucket's attached to the
other side of the stool here, so we'll just, yeah.
Mr. Curtis, that's my backpack. Seriously.
It's. Like a prankster.
I had candy in there. Yeah, I got it, Mr. Curtis.
Just put your just put your head under there and open up your
mouth. No, no, that's OK.
I. Just get down there and then
open up your mouth and Corbin will shoot it right in there.
Shoot it straight down your throat.
That's a good idea. I've already had my full dose of
apple and cinnamon cider today, so I think I'm going to pass on
the. OK, I'll just write that down on
times he's disobeyed. All right, let.
Me get down there, get down there, get.
Down there. Oh my gosh.
Now, do people, do people regularly like not just do what
Mr. Curtis is doing here, but do they like, take it from the
source, if that makes sense? Does that happen often?
No, no, that's unhygienic. I mean, there's there are.
Three of us and there's four nipples.
In inappropriate to be honest. No, I'm pretty sure they do.
I'm pretty sure they do drink it right from the source.
No. OK, well, you don't have to do
that, but let me I got to practice milking this thing.
So all right, here we go. So grab it from here.
That's not working, Mr. Curry. I'm just kidding.
Hey, be gentle. Be gentle, OK?
It's a soft. It's a soft.
I don't know why. You shouldn't.
You should not be grunting that hardcore.
But. Maybe I maybe I should flick
them? No, no, no.
Hey, hey, Rosie doesn't like that.
Sorry. Sorry.
She's upset. Sorry, Rosie.
OK, She's not looking good either.
Yeah. Does anybody have some salt and
a rope and some scissors? I think I might be able to
figure out a way this could work.
No, I don't know what you're doing, but absolutely not, Mr.
Curse. Give it a few tugs, Corbin, you
get your head down there. OK, OK, My turn swap, swap
position. Here we go.
I'm ready. All right, Rosie.
Here we go and 1/2 nothing. No, no getting dribbles coming
out. Rosie, what's called?
Do we need to take you down to see the nurse in the in the the
clinic downstairs? I mean, what's going on?
So sad she looks like she's so. Sad.
So she needs to so I assume professor.
I know we haven't read the PO next entries yet, but I assume
they need to be regularly milked to be OK.
Oh, absolutely. Yes.
Yeah. And I felt bad, like not milking
her so I could let you do it. But maybe that was a mistake.
How about this? We'll let.
We'll let Rosie. Kind of chill out here with us
and hang around. We'll read the Pokedex entries
and see if we can figure out something here, something that.
All right, I'll periodically get up or reach over my desk and
just flick 1. Don't, no, don't flick them,
Gorman. Don't flick them.
OK, fine. OK, you can give them a tug.
I can tug them but not flick. Them to see if to see if they're
producing OK but all right. It's fine.
All right, let's read these Pokedex entries.
OK, starting off in the Johto region.
The first one says it's milk is packed with nutrition, making it
the ultimate beverage for the sick or weary.
OK, Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll heal you right up.
It's very good, very good stuff, which is why I'm saying I think,
I think people drink it straight from the source.
I don't think there's much processing that happens with
with milk tank milk. It's yeah, that's that's cool.
I like that. No preservatives, nothing.
It's just straight organic milk tank milk.
Now go goat milk. That one.
That one you got to work a little bit to make it edible.
That one's got to be treated a bit that.
One's got to be treated. It's probably something to do
with the nipples I bet. Yeah, the nipple, they don't act
as natural filters like like Miltanks does.
Guys, I'm sorry, I can't. That's not in the Pokedex.
I I can't just say that. Don't lie to me, professor.
Yeah, yeah, sorry, I don't know if that's true or not.
The next entry says if it has just had a baby, the milk it
produces contains more nutrition than usual.
That makes sense. Do they mean?
An egg.
Yeah, it would have to be an egg
because as we all know, all Pokémon lay eggs.
So I guess sometimes we call those eggs babies, I guess.
Yeah, I guess so, yeah, I guess mang if if like that's a good
like kind of side business of you know, like you know, hey, I
run a mill tank farm, but I also have a.
Like a dispensary for for for baby milk tanks if people want
them. Or.
Whatever. Whatever the milk tank has.
The baby milk tanks get an advantage that other baby
Pokémon don't get because it's it's coming out of the egg
already consuming something with a ton of nutrition in it.
I mean like not every Pokémon produces milk or has nipples
like that. That's probably we haven't
checked. We haven't, you know, we haven't
checked the nipple ability of a lot of Pokémon.
You know I was in a bubble stuck for a long time and very
traumatized and scared but I'm 90% sure I saw some nipples on
YouTube. So is that maybe we need to
bring out all other 240 Pokémon and check for nipples?
Yeah. I mean, I'll show you where the
spinner rag nipples are. They're not that.
That's, you know what, that's good.
That's they're not that they're not, they're not where you would
think they would be to. Be again, I think this comes
down to egg groups because I don't think like the plant
Pokémon, they they survive off of sunlight, sunlight and water.
And I don't think I don't think they're going to be grabbing
that from the nipples of of the of their parent Pokémon.
Right, right, right, right. Can't get sunlight from nipples
T-shirt. We were talking about babies or
something, right? Yeah, nipples on different
Pokémon. Nipples on different nipple
ability. That's right.
We'll get the nipple ability scale.
Yeah, for the. Yeah, we got to go back through
and rank all these Pokémon on nipple ability.
Like would it look better with nipples or not?
For the next lesson, we'll hit a nipple ability.
That one will be good and fun to to do it on all right.
The next entry here says in order to milk a mil tank.
Yes, yes, Corbin. Nothing, Professor.
OK, in order to milk a milk tank, one must have a knack for
rhythmic rhythmically pulling up and down on its utters.
See, I tried that. I'm a I'm a rapper, so like, or
I was, so it's like Corbin is there.
How about this? How about this?
We'll try it. We'll, we'll, we'll get, we'll
get in there. We'll get, we'll go over to
Rosie again. Mr. Kurtz, if you put down like
a sick, nasty beat just to keep, you know, Corbin on tempo while
he's give. Me like 100 BPMS like a ha ha ha
ha ha ha. Stay in alive.
You gotta do that with like the
with the pulling. Yeah.
All right, Rosie, you ready? Let's go, Let's go.
Pull, pull. Pull, pull, pull, pull.
Pull. I'm getting nothing.
Pull. Still nothing.
It's still nothing I'm. Getting dribbles like I'm
swearing. I swear I'm seeing little puffs
of dust come out. Oh man, it just doesn't feel
right. This doesn't feel healthy.
I think we should. Stop.
Yes. Now just keep going for a little
bit. He's in.
It's like a pepper getting squeezed.
Heliper. It is I'm so.
Heliper. Sorry, I'm so sorry professor.
I gotta take a sip of my. I forgot to take a sip of my.
Yeah, sorry, I forgot how how much energy it drains from you
to to put down a sick nasty beat.
Yeah, it takes a lot of work so I only does it like once every
calendar. Year yeah, okay, let's move on
to the home region. Well, well, Mr. Curtis is
slurping down that that that good good sad.
The only entry here in the Hohen region says milk tank gives over
5 gallons of milk on a daily basis.
It's sweet. Milk is enjoyed by children and
grown-ups alike. People who can't drink the milk
turn it into yogurt and eat it instead.
Oh, that sounds good. Yeah, I don't know why you
wouldn't be able to to drink milk tank milk.
I mean, it's good and healthy for you, right?
I guess some people are milk tank milk intolerant.
We're still having the milk and yogurt.
Did little Boo scare you? What happened?
Yeah, what is happening, Mr. Curtis?
That was that was so funny, professor.
OK. So is that the sound milk tank's
supposed to make when it's milked?
God, no. Rosie's just gonna be like.
So I think for the nip ability scale, I think the thing that
was laughing out earlier that you called out is I think the
nip ability we should rank every Pokémon on.
Would it look better with nipples, yes or no?
No, let's, no, let's not do that.
Let's not do that. Is that the next Q and?
AI guess. And it'd be like surfing.
It's gonna be like Markiplier's, what was it, Smash or Pass for
Pokémon, But ours is yes or no on nipples and we just come in
like picture of Tyrogue. No.
Next No. No.
Hit Mon Chan? Absolutely.
Yes, for sure. The champ I more the more the
better. Yeah, nipples, please.
How many Pokémon have nipples, out of curiosity?
Not enough. What Pokémon are rocking
nipples? Like do you say I'm a champ?
I think that whole line yeah, nipples, nipples would make
sense. They not have.
Nipples, but like picture like an ente with nipples.
Not as intimidating. Oh.
My God. Kanga scan definitely.
It's got a baby, it has to have them.
It's gotta have nipples. Well, Kanga scans.
Nipples obviously are in the pouch.
That's where they go. Yeah, so it might have nipples,
we don't know. Charizard maybe?
That was intimidating. Has anybody tried Mill tank
yogurts? I don't know.
I don't know if I've ever done it.
I just look at like gross solid solid milk milk.
I'll just drink it like a like a regular person.
It's a little too sweet for me. My mom got me on like the low
fat milk tank milk yogurt. But yeah, it's not, it's not
great when you do the low fat because you take stuff out of it
and you just, they put aspartame in it.
It's just not as good. So I've never had the real deal
before. I've never had the real deal
because my mom didn't want me to get fat and have a whole bunch
of sugar. So I have been deprived of a lot
of milk tank milk growing up so. That's fair.
Oh that's so. Wait, have you never had milt
tank milk? Not not really once on special.
I've had a little bit like my eggnog, you know, during the
holidays, but I have never had a full glass of milt tank milk.
I'm. Afraid I've had a full shotgun
of milt tank milk in. Your head never had a full
shotgun, Yeah. It's a lot of, it's a lot of
sugar to intake, to be honest, so.
I know, it sounds so good. But there's also a lot of
nutrients too. There's a lot of nutrients.
And I need to be nutrition did. Yeah, that's why that's maybe
that's why he hasn't aged past 10 is because he hasn't had.
All the nutrition you're supposed to have.
Yeah, I'm not sucking the right milk.
That's. The problem?
Yeah. And put that on AT shirt.
All right, let's move on to the center region here.
The first entry says it is said that kids who drink milk Tank's
milk grow up to become hearty, healthy adults.
There it is, there it is. You grow up to become an adult.
Every person who's ever grown up is because they had milk tank
milk. I have not turned it into an
adult. It has nothing to do with me
cooking your cursole on my 10th birthday.
Let's not talk about that. It has nothing to do with that
and the fact that I don't have milk tank milk.
I don't know this entry like you know, I fully believe every poke
X entry. The only ones that I haven't
fully believed are Ash's pokedex entry on you know the fact that
Tyrogue is the evolved form of like a Pokémon.
That's very clearly not the evolved form of right, right.
But it's this one, this century kind of feels like it was
written by big milk tank milk, Like the, the, the milk tank
milk company kind of maybe sponsored the center region for
this Pokedex century. Because like, because you know,
they've been doing those ads like where, you know, it's like
they have like the, the milk tank milk mustache on the kids.
And they're like, oh, it's like they take all of the, all the
like big athletes of the day and they give them milk tank milk
mustaches. And they're like, I drank milk
milk. And that's why I'm big and
strong. Yeah, yeah, they really do do
that. Yeah, I think I saw lucky bean
favorite. I think lucky bean favorite was
in was in. Oh yeah, I did see that.
That was that was part of Lucky Bean Favorites tour.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they, they did a
bunch of whole commercial shoots for Miltig milk.
And yeah, that was that was pretty cool.
Question, I don't I haven't really been keeping super close
eye on Lucky Bean favorite. Has she evolved yet?
Is she still? She's still fanpy.
She's still last last I saw. I saw her like 3 days ago.
Wow. I think.
Yeah, we went on a hate ride. Lucky being favorite can't
evolve at this point because if they do.
Like that's their whole brand. That's their whole brand.
Her problem? Is she's not having miltake milk
so she can't become a hearty healthy Dawn fan.
But she, oh, I thought, but she got sponsored by them, I
thought. So I think she's she's got a,
she's got a. Wait, what did you say, Corbin?
Well, maybe she needs to drink more of it.
I'm saying maybe she's not turning into a hearty, healthy
adult Don fan because she's not drinking.
Then I'll take milk. I was, I don't know why but like
I got like milk tank milk and dawn fan and and Dawn fan mixed
up. So I thought you were saying she
needs to drink Dawn fan milk. No, you don't drink Dawn.
Fan. And so that started getting me
thinking about the nipple ability of a Dawn fan.
Not. Great.
Pretty high. Pretty high.
But I feel like Dawn fan milk is gonna be the opposite.
No nutrition and salty. Aspect all, Sands all.
Sands inside and great, yeah. You do not want it.
That is not good for anybody. To your enemies at dinner.
OK. So that does it for the center
region. Let's move on to the next one.
There's no you Nova entry. Well, there's no new you Nova
entry and there's also no new Caloh entry.
No big surprise there, but we have some Alola entries.
We have the best note tank that have the best nipples and the
best nipples. Their nipples are the longest
and the most rigid. Yeah, and our milk, the milk
they make is more sweet and more nutritious than anywhere.
Else yeah, you have no problem pulling them all.
Right, so the first letter here says it's milk is high in
calories and packed with nutrients.
Therefore, if you drink too much of it, you may wind up with a
body like milk tanks. See, that's why my mom didn't
didn't want to give me too. Much of it, but that's.
Body by milk tank. Body.
No body. T-shirt.
Body by milk tank. Body by milk tank.
Just like a really unhealthy fat looking guy.
You know how like some people on trucks, they have like the
silhouette of like the hot girl, you know what I mean?
It's like there's like that with like bit milk tanks.
We need that body by milk tank. It's like a silhouette of a milk
tank just sprawled out. Yeah, and that's something that
that big milk tank milk isn't gonna tell you.
Like, yeah, sure, if you have like the right amount, then
you're gonna be healthy and strong and fit.
But like, there's a fine line. If you drink too much, you know,
you are not fit, you are unhealthy.
And it's, it's, it's they don't, they don't they just say in
their ads, I swear they say gulp down as much of this milk as you
can. Yeah, like, and because because
they're just trying to sell it as much, they don't say like,
you know, they don't say the dangers of milk tank milk, which
I think there are plenty. Oh, yeah.
I mean, maybe it's best to stay away from it.
I don't know. It's it does.
It does sound tempting. God, it does sound good.
Yeah, we got to be careful with Corbin here.
All right, so the next entry says most people raise it's.
Let me take that again. Most people raise it for its
milk, but it's quite tough and strong.
So it's also well suited for. God, Lil Boo, Lil Boo, Lil Boo.
That's not nice. Lil Boo.
I know, I know, you think it's funny Lil Boo, but it's not.
It was painful haha. He's funny.
This, I gotta say this, the Halloween week.
The one week where we let Lil Boo out and run around.
Worst week for teaching it is. It's a lot.
Yeah, it is a nightmare. I can't get anything done.
She's knocking things off walls. She's pulling my hand.
Well, Rosie here didn't even notice she was asleep.
Look at her, she's chilling all. Right.
Yes, OK. Yeah, Bilo there.
There she goes. She floats through the wall,
isn't. Isn't that?
She's so cute though I can't say matter she's.
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Anyways, let me read that again. Most people raise it for it's
milk, but it's quite tough and strong, so it's also well suited
for battle. Let me just let me just preface
here, that's for milk tank and not mischievous.
I just got. To just got to say.
That, yeah, right. Yeah, we know what's good for
battle. I hear that.
Whitney in town, the gym leader, I hear her milk tank is brutal.
A lot of kids have cried. And I think I think the success
rate is like 20% for passing her gym.
A lot of people will quit their journey after after that third
gym I've heard because her her milk tank is just ruthless.
It's really where trainers are like are getting you either make
or break yourself when you when you when you go against Whitney.
Have you guys ever watched like they it's it's a public event.
You can you can watch Whitney's battles if you want.
I. Don't think I've been to one
but. Now, I mean, clearly you haven't
seen a milk tank, so. Not up close.
So yeah, I haven't, I haven't. I haven't seen one but I'd like
to go next time there is a battle.
I would definitely see. Her her milk tank smacks and
Pokémon around. Yeah, Mr. Curtis, have you ever
been? I, I watched it once and I, I
wasn't very impressed to be honest, so I stopped watching
again. I didn't go back again.
So. Yeah, definitely, and if you do,
it'll really up your up your enjoyment if you sit in the
splash zone 'cause you just get in mil tank milk.
Yeah, yeah, I believe. I was wondering why they were
selling ponchos outside the. Gym It is a messy event.
It's a messy, it's a messy gym battle.
Yeah, and some and like sometimes when she wins she just
goes alright, mill tank, blast them and then like it'll just
like just ohh, just grab them over the all.
The crowd, Yeah. Ohh.
My gosh. Yeah.
It's great. It's it isn't fun.
I would not want to be a Co. I feel like I'm missing out.
I don't want to. I would not want to be a part of
the cleanup crew for for Whitney.
Yeah, I would think like. It's a job I wouldn't.
Want yeah, I'd be, I'd be, I'd be like mad every single time
she does that. Like Whitney, come on, We we
talked about this. Please stop.
She's like, but that's what gets people in seats.
Yeah, it's not. It's not just the battle, it's
the spectacle of how much milk is being tossed around and
squirted all over the field. It's crazy.
Yeah, yeah. They don't even sell concession
concessions at the at the stadium.
You don't need to. You just got to sit there with a
empty glass of milk. Just empty glasses.
Just wait for the. For the for the milk wave to
overtake you. I again, I have not been there.
I've just heard about it. Gordon has been a few times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great.
OK, the next entry says it produces over 5 gallons of milk
a day. The higher the quality of the
pastures it lives in, the richer and the tastier it's milk
becomes. We'd love that.
We love rich, tasty milk. So that's like, you know, it has
good grass. It's got like like some nice
trees to sleep under. It's got a hot tub.
Good. Jeans.
Yeah. Hot tub, full massage.
Yeah, you got a you. You have to massage your milk
tanks. If you want to be competitive in
the tank milk market at all, you got to be massaging your milk
tanks. That's fun to say.
Milk tank Milk market. Milk tank milk market.
Milk tank Milk market. Milk tank Milk market.
MMM, the next century from the Alola region in the last century
says its milk is delicious and chock full of nutrients.
However, if you drink too much, it could make your stomach hurt,
so be careful. Another side effect that big
milk tank milk does not tell us. Glad we have these entries to
tell us the truth. Yeah, I know.
And I feel like these get swept into the rug.
I feel like professors who try to bring forth the dangers of
mill tank milk, they get silenced pretty hard.
And then the ones like the center region where it's very
clearly like is promoting big milk tank milk like they, they
get, they get lots of money under the table.
They say, oh, I bet. Yeah, they're, they're just
taking bribes and stuff, I'm sure.
Dang shady business. Yeah, like the.
People what they want fresh, nice lukewarm milk tank milk
down their gullets. Down there people want yeah,
and, but like, but like a a good, a good amount, not too
much, a good standard amount. A good standard amount.
Yeah, I don't. I don't have the numbers on
that. I'm not.
I'm not going to try to. I'm not going to.
I was just. About to ask because I was
writing this down. I was like, what is a good
standard? I'm not a doctor, so I can't
tell you how much you should. You should maybe.
You're hardly a professor. Maybe 1 tug.
Wow. I got I have hours of of
recorded teaching sessions that prove I am a professor.
Oh yeah? How many hours, huh?
It's hard to say roughly, I don't know, around 230 or so.
Okay, gotcha. Yeah.
So how many, how many, how much professing have you done,
Corbin? I'm not a professor, I've never
taught a class. Exactly, kid.
Exactly. Your child.
Exactly, exactly. And that's how professors say.
And you wouldn't know that 'cause you're not a professor.
Nope, I'm not. Yeah, all right, moving on to
the Galla region. The 1st century says Miltank
produces highly nutritious milk, so it's been supporting the
lives of people in other pokemons since ancient times.
Ancient times. Ancient times, since the olden
days. Yeah, that's weird that there's
no cause. And I guess spoiler alert,
there's no Galar or sorry, there's no Hissui entries.
There's lots of Galar entries. There's no, but there's no
Hissui entries. If they've been in ancient
times, you kind of would expect that.
They were too busy addicted to the milk and suckling it to
write anything about it. They were too focused on how
good it was. Yeah, they they couldn't wean
themselves from the from the mill tank nipple.
Talk about an utter disgrace, am I right?
That's kind of, that's kind of funny.
I would laugh if you hadn't just insulted.
Yeah, I mean, if I had said it would have been utterly funny.
Yeah, you sound like the milk tank that's backed up.
Mr. Curtis, are you? OK, no, no, he doesn't.
He doesn't. OK, let's move on.
The next entry says this Pokémon needs to be milked everyday or
else it will fall. I'll the flavour of milk tank
milk changes with the seasons. Whoa, whoa, we got a, we got a
pumpkaboo spice milk tank here. Is that what the deal is?
Well, no, I don't think so. Because it's, I mean.
Or does it taste like dried up leaves?
I don't. I think it depends on what the
milk tank is eating and I guess that changes with the season.
Or maybe it is just a seasonal change.
I don't, I guess I don't know. I'm not I'm not like a mil tank
clinistea so I'm not sure I could tell you the difference
between like fall mil tank milk and summer milk tank milk.
Right summer milk tank milk probably curdles a lot.
Probably gross. I I was thinking it was like has
a little bit more of a fruity tank to it.
Yeah, it could. Where the falls a little bit
more, a little bit of honey. Cinnamony, Cinnamony.
Honey. Cinnamon.
Yeah. Honey.
Cinnamon. Yeah, honey.
Cinnamon. Cinnamon.
What do you think the Winter Miltech milk tastes like?
You think it just tastes like like mint spearmint.
Spearmint, Yeah. Yeah, that's why I don't drink
it in the winter. I'm not.
I'm not a fan. Clears your sinuses right out.
Yeah, just. Blast your like this is open.
Oh yeah. It's very therapeutic.
Yeah, OK, so there's no more and there's no entries from Hisui,
as I said, and there's no entries from Paldea.
I do have some unique Pokedex entries here, so I'm gonna go
ahead and read them. They both come to us from Ash's
Pokedex. So I think we have a new rule
which is don't fully believe all of Ash's Pokedex entries.
So let's take a, you know, a critical eye with with this
Pokedex entry for a. Grain of salt or a drop of milk
if you. Will a drop of milk tank milk
with this with this pokedex entry first one says milk tank
the milk cow Pokémon milk tank produces very nutritious milk, a
perfect drink for reviving sick Pokémon Milk tank are very even
tempered and prefer not to battle.
They're good at it, but they prefer not.
To Yeah. They, they're like, I'm too
powerful, I'm too strong. I don't wanna yeah, I don't
wanna hurt somebody. Yeah.
They know what they know, what they're capable of.
You know, I believe this. I believe this poetic century.
I I think it's possible for them to be good at battling but not
want to battle just like me. Yeah.
And. And Corbin as well, apparently.
Yeah. All right.
The next entry again, Ash's Pokedex says milk tank, the milk
cow Pokémon. It is widely known that drinking
milk tank milk when you're young helps you grow up to be strong
and healthy. And that's why you're a tiny
little baby boy, Corbin. Because you know you didn't
drink. Must not.
OK, let's not call me baby boy. It's not.
Tiny little bit. You're our tiny little baby boy,
Corbin. I'm not a tiny baby boy.
I'm going to get big and strong once I start drinking milk tank
milk. Yeah, you.
Heard of your first? It's that's what's going to
happen. Get ready for it.
OK, so that does it on all the Pokedex entries that we have for
Miltank before we move on to the testing portion.
Corbin, do you want it? I just want with everything that
we've learned and all the knowledge that we have, you just
want to try again. Maybe we can can can.
Sure. Because we, because.
We guys, we have to milk this milk tank.
We have to milk Rosie cuz. We got a milk, yeah.
Rosie, she's suffering right now.
She's suffering. She's miserable.
Yeah. Rosie.
Yeah. Wake.
OK. Can I get a little pull in here
or try? It's harder when you're on the
side somehow. But you know, gravity would help
if you were on all fours. But I get it.
You're tired. You don't feel well.
Just pull from the side. Nothing, dude.
Nothing. Let's let.
Me, give a little flick again. Don't flick it.
No stop it. Sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Rosie.
OK, well how about this, Let's do the testing portion and then
we'll come back and, you know, give a give a couple final
tries. So today we are doing a poem I
will love. Oh.
Professor. I.
Really wanted to do a pop quiz. And stop your.
Whiny. Look at.
Look at all the. Notes wine.
Here we're drinking milk. Stop your wine.
You can take those notes and use them to make a very nice poem
because again, again, this isn't graded, you know, it's a
participation grade. I just want to, I want you to
try to include things that we've learned in class in this poem.
So yeah, go ahead, let your creativity fly.
And then we'll meet back here and we'll read these poems.
You got it. Let's So let's get to milk in
guys. Milk, milk out these rhymes.
Milk them out. From my brain.
Put that on a T-shirt. Professor, I am ready for my
poem to be red. Okay, sorry, I was just over
here. I was trying to.
I was just patting Rosie on the head and I rubbed.
Her belly a little bit. Worse, I know she's starting to
turn a little green, honestly. Is that a shiny?
No, a shiny mill tank is blue. Nice.
OK, cool. Well.
I'm sorry, but they are, they are going along that color
spectrum maybe by the time maybe.
That's the key. Getting a shiny is just
depriving your milk tank of being milk.
Of release. Don't do that.
Sweet release.
Great T-shirt idea. Sweet release with a milk tank
on it. Milk.
Everywhere to be as shiny as to be deprived of sweet release.
Yeah, yeah, the sweet release coming to our merch store that
doesn't exist 2026 anyways. Yeah, Anyway, so we're doing a
poem. Cormist.
You had a poem you want to read or something?
Whatever. I.
Do I I I do, and Rosie has inspired this poem.
Great, I hope. I hope the Pokedex entries have
also inspired the poem. A little bit.
All right, here we go. I call this one the Milk of
Life. A tank of milk.
So sweet, so creamy, like egg white silk.
Nutritious and dreamy, I long to taste a drop of your nectar and
drink with haste. Vanished like a specter so
quickly I drank. Now, eagerly, I wait to refill
your tank before it's too late. Growing tired and weary, I fold
like ripples no longer dreary. You give life through your
nipples. Good.
I like. That I'm happy.
I'm really happy that you ended the poem on the word nipples,
Corbin. I think that's kind of.
Yeah, that was my plan in the very beginning.
Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, good, good stuff.
Corbin, of course, focused on milk as this is as I'm sure both
of your poems are gonna be. I usually am, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Include the fact that it's very
nutritious, very good. Yeah.
Hey, good, good poem. I liked it.
Thank you. Bonus points for nipples in
there. I mean, you're, no, you're just
gonna get a passing grade. It's a it's a it's either a pass
or a fail. No bonus points here.
Right, Right. OK.
Yeah. All right, Mr. Curtis, let's
hear. OK, let's hear what you got for.
Let me let me just take a quick sip here real quick.
All right, milk tank, my pink milker of July.
I gotta stop you. I we have to be clear mil tank,
mil tank not mil tank. It is mil tank.
Not Pella pepper. And I know, I know you're going
to continue to say it wrong. I just want to make sure that
the listeners, that's the the the virtual students out there.
No, don't listen to Mr. Curtis. It is mil, mil, mil tank.
OK, All right, go, go on. I'm sure you will.
Yeah, exactly, exactly what I said you're.
Not going to change your, your, your, your way or anything, but
go on. Also, it's Rigby's good.
The Riz Rizby's. I.
Remember, Rizby's strong, but they're Rigby.
'S all right, milk tank. Hold on.
Did I say that right, Professor I?
Wasn't listening I. Don't know what Pokémon he's
talking about. He doesn't get any points.
He fails. All right, all right, hold on.
Let me start over. Milk tank the Pink or oh God, I
can't. Hold on, hold on.
I can't. It's OK, Mr. Curtis, take you
take as many times as you need to take to get it's.
Like, it's like, it's like Pelipper.
He doesn't know how to say it normally.
I'm having, I'm having an emotional moment now, now that
you've confronted me. All right, all right, all right.
Here we go. Milk tank, my pink milker of
delight. My God, your milk's nutrition
makes me take flight. The bodily expansion caused by
the drinking of excess milk is quite the sight, but the five
gallons you produce a day is a blessing for the sick and
children. Down, light, down, right?
What? I won't I won't forget.
I won't forget to milk each day so you don't get sick tonight.
The end. What on earth was that second to
last line? Down right, huh?
Can you read it again? Because I don't.
I don't wonder what's what's going on there.
Yeah, walk us through it. OK.
All right. Hold on, hold on.
I'm not from the top, but the five gallons, but the.
OK, hold on, you want me to start from the?
Start. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't want you to start. No, no.
No, just just the part about the the something about the far
right. Go ahead.
But the five gallons you produce each day is a blessing for the
sick and children downright. He said.
It was so much confidence. I almost believed that that was
a common phrase that people say. Yeah, exactly.
Just like I said, the bodily expansion caused by the drinking
of excess milk is quite the site.
No, I get it. It rhymes like you're not.
You're not wrong. What's it rhymes?
The promise is that doesn't mean anything.
Words have meaning, Mr. Curtis, for the most part.
I think they have plenty meaning.
Students at home put comments in the Spotify gun.
Let them. Know get a ton.
How much my comment, how much my poem makes sense a lot of.
Comments are going to be I can't believe they released this.
They actually can't believe things.
This is horrible. That's exactly.
What Rosie will be saying when we figure this out.
I can't believe that they released this.
Come on, Rosie, come on. Anything we could do, girl?
Anyways, Mr. Curtis, you had a lot of good information in your
poem, as nonsensical as it was, you know, again included that it
was nutritious, that if you don't milk them every day they
get sick, that, you know, grow, you'll grow up big and strong if
you drink it and 5 gallons they produce a day.
Very good, very information heavy.
So whereas yours maybe wasn't, as you know, poem like as
Corbin's, that included a lot more information.
You know what? Every single line rhyme though,
Professor. I mean, how?
How much more do I have to do to make it a poem?
Make it make sense. Make it make sense, Mr. Curtis,
make it, make, give it, give it a little bit of, you know, just
make it make sense. Pizzazz.
Yeah, pizzazz. Justice for Justice for Mr.
Curtis is poems. I don't know who Mr. Curtis is,
but I have not read all three poems.
Crazy that you sloppy mouthed your own name.
I don't know if that's ever happened before.
He's a trench coat that wears Mr. Curtis skin with hot rod
flames on it. Mr. Curdness.
Mr. Curtness, Curtness. Where is he on the Curtness
scale? The same as the one that drinks
too much Miltank milk, Mr. Curtless.
Yeah, Chris or Curtles. OK, so you know I'm obligated to
give you a full marks for that one Mr. Curtis, but he.
Didn't include the word nipples in there, so what's the point?
Yeah, I mean. Honestly, I think I should get
extra points because I didn't include.
That low hanging fruit, Nobody's getting extra points, nobody's
losing points. It's a pass or a fail, and you
both pass. So good job fine.
Good job. OK, so we're at the end of the
lesson here. Can we?
I would be so upset if we didn't get, you know, just one drop of
milk tank milk out of ours. So Corman, get up there, really,
really give it a shot. Give it, give it a try all.
Right, so hold on, let me try this.
I'm going to put my feet on the utter, OK, my hands on it and
kind of like use the use the balance like the.
Nothing else has worked, Mr. Curtis.
Nothing else has worked. I'm basically like pulling it
out like a weed in the ground. Here we go.
Nothing. Rosie, come on.
Gosh. Damn it, Professor.
What? What's that behind your desk
over there? This is the pizza oven that you
had installed in my desk, remember?
That yeah, but what? What?
Why is it glowing like? Because.
I'm cooking a pizza. OK, all right, all right.
Never mind then I I I just thought it looks really spooky,
the lights coming behind your desk, but that makes total sense
that it's your pizza oven. I'm so sorry, professor.
You're you're. Totally.
Mr. Curtis wouldn't be scared of that.
God, Mr. Curtis, you're taking, you're taking the the focus away
from poor Rosie here. And yes, I am making some
delicious pizza that we will snack down on at when this
lesson's over. But I wait, what?
There's something behind your head.
Oh, it's everywhere. It's everywhere.
It's in my eyes. It's in my mouth.
This is just so good. Oh, there's a puddle on the
ground. You.
Explained what just happened for the students kid.
Oh, little little Boo, little Boo.
Scared us all so bad and scared Rosie so bad that that they
spray milk all over the class. Just a big explosion.
All over my face and my trench coat and.
Lips, Steven. A Melt Typhlosion.
Is this what I have been missing my entire 10 years?
Of Corbin. Corbin.
You're drinking Corbin. You're drinking too much,
Corbin. No, I don't care.
It's so good. No, Corbin.
Corbin. That's too much.
Oh, man. Professor.
Professor, we're going to need to get a master.
OK, let me let me let me end the lesson real quick and maybe I
guess Corbin, try not to make a bunch of slurp noises while
you're. Little little Boo.
More like Farmer Boo, am I right?
Nope, don't play a lap track for that portion.
Yeah, I don't. I don't even get this does.
Anybody have a straw? I could just like kind of just
start sucking this off the ground.
No. No, Kind of like a natural
straw. T-shirt, I think.
The best part about this spherical room?
Is that all the milk condenses at the bottom?
It's lovely. There's a pool of it.
Okay, that's so. Not why we have a spirit pulling
the RIP cord. I gotta get out of here as quick
as possible next time. Next lesson we're learning about
Blissy, the evolved form of Chancey, who we have learned
about before. So that's going to be a fun
lesson. This is.
Pure blissy right here. He's going.
He's going for it. If you have any questions in the
meantime, if you have any questions for me, the professor,
you can send a Gengar mail to wwopokemon@gmail.com.
That's right. The G's kind of overdose stands
for Gengar. I don't know if anybody can hear
this because the slurping going on in the background, but OK.
You can also look at our description, find a bunch of
links. We're doing a lot of stuff.
We're on YouTube, we're doing live streams.
We're we have a Patreon where we're releasing a bunch of extra
content for you guys. But yeah, that's I'm going to.
Put this in my backpack. Corbett, Professor Quick we need
to get him out of. Here.
Where's that bucket do? It he's going to overdose.
It the bucket was his mouth, remember?
Oh, no, yeah. Oh, all right, I'm going to say
the thing that doesn't for today's lesson, so until next
time. Come on, you.
Classes dismissed. Get over here.
Come on. Let's.
Go. I'm getting you out of here.
I get it. Yeah.
Drag here. I'll help you drag him.
Just a Curtis. Come on.
Clawing into the floor.
No, no, no, no, Rosie. I need it from the source Rosie.