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Hey everybody. 
I am so blessed and excited to 

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be here answering questions. 
Erika is going to join us in 

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just a minute. 
She got held up in a meeting 

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that went a little bit longer 
and I am looking forward to 

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seeing her just as much as you 
guys are. 

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It's going to be a great time of
answering questions. 

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Now, I'm going to say this right
off the bat. 

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I want to thank you for the 
commitment to excellence that 

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you guys have made in getting 
into the word, learning the 

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word, growing in the word. 
And I'm going to say this. 

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Look, when you study the Bible, 
it brings up a lot of questions.

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I say this often times to people
that I'm helping, not sort of 

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laboring through it. 
And that's why we always 

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encourage people to get into the
Word, to read it. 

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And as you read it, all of those
things begin to show up and it 

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is awesome. 
And to that, I'm going to just 

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say we get hundreds, if not 
thousands of questions and we 

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always do our best to answer as 
many as we possibly can. 

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As a matter of fact, in many of 
the summaries that I give, I try

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to answer questions, which is 
something that I think is really

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important to do. 
And we are doing more to sort of

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meet the needs with respect to 
that. 

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But here's the thing that I 
think is critically important, 

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as much of A commitment as 
you're making to get in the Word

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of God, The one thing that I 
need you to be able to 

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understand, and this is it. 
It it's just very, very 

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critical, is that you need a 
church body. 

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OK? 
This is an Acts chapter 2 

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concept. 
And as questions come up, it's 

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always good to have pastors and 
elders in your church that you 

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can go to. 
We love taking the questions and

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we're always honored to do it. 
And it's a huge blessing to be 

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able to answer those questions. 
I love it. 

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I've been doing it for close to 
3334 years, but it's good to 

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have that local fellowship, that
church where you can go to 

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people who are well endowed in 
knowledge of the word that can 

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come and not just give you an 
answer to a question, but can 

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help you walk through applying 
your worldview, your biblical 

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worldview in all the things that
you're facing. 

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And this is something that we 
try to do on a regular basis. 

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We want to equip you to apply 
your biblical worldview in the 

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world of politics. 
We want to equip you to apply 

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your biblical worldview in 
literally everything that 

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touches your life. 
It doesn't just extend it to 1 

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area and then stop at another. 
It's all over. 

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And I think it's so critically 
important that you understand 

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that that there's a practical 
aspect to this that is really, 

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really important that we want 
you to hold fast to. 

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And so much of it comes from the
community that you give yourself

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to. 
And look, just as much as the 

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questions come up when you do 
the work, when you spend time in

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fellowship, those questions get 
asked in a way that's very 

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thorough and reaches your very 
soul, in your very heart because

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they're customized for you. 
And we get lots of questions, 

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especially the personal ones, 
and there are certain things 

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that we can answer quite 
quickly, but they're never quite

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complete if they're not tailored
to the specific circumstance 

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that you're dealing with. 
That's why it's so important 

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that you lean in to your 
personal fellowships and that 

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you speak to these people who 
can better equip you. 

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We're honored to do it. 
We want to continue to do it, 

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but church fellowship is 
important. 

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It's really, really critical to 
stay close to the church body 

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and to be in fellowship with 
people that love the Lord and 

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are like minded that you might 
just experience the fullness of 

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everything that God has for you.
So with that said, we are 

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blessed to be able to serve you.
Listen, I want to give one other

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quick announcement. 
A lot of people have asked about

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this, but my book is now 
available on paperback if you 

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are interested. 
This goes over the 1st 11 

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chapters of the Book of 
Revelation. 

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If you don't want to buy the 
book, you don't want to spend 

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money on the book. 
I'll give you a little hint. 

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You can go to jamescadice.com 
and listen to my teachings 

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through the Book of Revelation. 
You get the same thing. 

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But we've been really blessed. 
We actually hit Amazon's number 

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one bestseller list in 13 
categories. 

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I just blow, we're just blown 
away at the success of it by 

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God's grace and how good he's 
been. 

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And there's a lot of great 
resources. 

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I, I don't know where it is, but
Charlie's book on the Sabbath, 

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Holy smokes, that thing is a, 
it's so good. 

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Anyway, all of that to say, 
there's a lot of resources out 

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there. 
We want to put them in your 

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hands. 
We want to equip you because 

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God's faithful and what he's 
given us is amazing. 

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And we want you to have every 
bit of that. 

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So with that said, let's pray. 
Let's ask the Lord to go before 

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us as we get into this very 
important time in the Word. 

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And I think Erika will be 
joining us if she's not already 

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there. 
She'll be joining us in just a 

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few minutes. 
So let's pray. 

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Father in heaven, we just thank 
you, Lord, for your word. 

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We thank You, Father, for the 
opportunity that we have to dig 

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in and to dig deep. 
And Lord, we just pray that as 

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we spend time going through 
these questions that you would 

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be glorified and that Lord, your
name would be lifted up. 

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We love You, Father, and we 
thank you. 

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And we just pray that you would 
give us insight, that you would 

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teach us, Lord, your word, that 
You would help us to understand 

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what Your will is in every 
single one of these contexts, 

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Lord. 
And so just speak to us clearly,

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help us to apply it in our 
lives. 

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And as we go through these, 
Lord, it truly is our desire to 

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want to be drawn closer to you. 
So Lord, we love you and thank 

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you. 
We look to you and we ask these 

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things in Jesus name, we pray, 
Amen. 

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All right, well, with that, if 
we don't have Erika here, I am 

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going to go over the first 
question. 

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And Erica, you can feel free to 
just jump in when you get here, 

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but let me go over the first 
question here. 

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And this is more of a very 
practical question. 

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And, and boy, I, I got to tell 
you, Erica's here. 

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Erica, how are you, sweetheart? 
Happy Friday. 

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It. 
It feels like a Friday. 

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Oh, man. 
Pastor James, I've missed you. 

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It's good to hear your voice. 
It's good to see you. 

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I love you immensely. 
And and I want to just say how 

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absolutely blessed I am that the
ministry that God has given you 

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continues to reach out in ways 
that the devil absolutely hates.

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But you know what? 
God is so good and lots of lives

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are being changed. 
And you know, there's a price to

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that. 
Unfortunately, you know it 

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better than probably most 
people, but God's faithful, he's

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good, you know, and I can see 
it. 

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I, you know, it's funny. 
I know you better than most and 

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I can see the joy of the Lord in
your heart and like it's all 

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over your face. 
I love it. 

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I love the forever Kirk hat. 
Is that like like something 

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that's actually being sold right
now or? 

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Is that like where you know me, 
the fashion, the fashion 

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designer and me, we're always 
looking at different designs and

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stuff like that. 
So this might be coming out 

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sometime soon. 
Dad has to be a proclaimed 

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thing. 
I just love that. 

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We should put the proclaimed 
Insignia on the back that I just

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love that. 
This will probably be a chart. 

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This one will probably be for 
Charlie's store. 

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I don't know if it's on the 
it's. 

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I think it's on this side where 
it's like. 

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Oh, there it is, the flag. 
Flag Yeah. 

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Oh, I love that. 
Got to keep it going. 

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Got to keep it. 
Going beautiful. 

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But yeah, no, we're just it's a 
refiners fire right now. 

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So we're just walking, walking 
through it. 

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What do they say? 
If you're you just keep going 

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through hell, You just keep 
going. 

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You got to what? 
What? 

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What's the saying? 
Like you got to get keep if 

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you're going to get through 
hell, you just keep walking 

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through hell. 
What is it? 

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I don't know. 
There's a saying, Oh my gosh, 

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Pastor James, there's a saying 
where it's like, if you're Kate,

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you know what I'm talking about.
Don't come to me because I 

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botched those things up all the 
time. 

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I messed those things up so bad.
Something like if you're gonna 

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go, if you're going through it, 
you just gotta keep going 

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through it. 
I don't know. 

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It was a famous quote. 
Sorry guys have botched it 

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again. 
It's a fact. 

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Those quotes up I'm I'm way 
where I I messed those things up

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all the time. 
My wife comes up to me and 

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corrects me, like, yeah, James, 
that wasn't the way the saying 

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goes. 
My sister does the same thing. 

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It's bad. 
I, I I. 

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Anyways, we're just we're 
walking and locked up with the 

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Lord, doesn't matter which, you 
know, direction he takes us in 

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as long as it's his direction. 
But I do the first question that

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I did see from Jamie, I thought 
it was, I thought it was really 

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powerful. 
Do you want me to read it for 

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you and then have you? 
OK? 

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So Jamie says I am 34 years old 
and serve in the United States 

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Air Force. 
Thank you for your service, 

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Jamie. 
As a physician assistant in a 

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primary care clinic, I have two 
small children under the age of 

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four and a wonderful, hard 
working husband. 

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Excuse me? 
Ever since Charlie's death, my 

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faith has grown stronger and I 
have been enlightened to the 

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role of a biblical wife. 
I feel called to set my career 

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aside and be a homemaker for my 
family and minister in my home. 

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My commitment to the Air Force 
ends next summer. 

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The problem is that I have 17 
years of military service under 

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my belt and have about 6 years 
to go until I can retire and 

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collect a paycheck for the rest 
of my life without working. 

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I feel like each day that goes 
by is a missed opportunity to be

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with my children and with Jesus.
Six years, a long time to go. 

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Do I stick this out another six 
years or do I leave now? 

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I pray every single day about 
this. 

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Your wisdom is very much 
appreciated. 

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It's a really silly question. 
It is. 

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And, and I got to tell you, it's
rooted in some very powerful 

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stuff. 
And you know, we know this all 

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well. 
The time goes by so quickly. 

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Time is a thief. 
It goes by so fast. 

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I I I cannot. 
I like, it's so hard to be able 

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to understand my, my daughter 
just turned 8. 

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You know, you're like, there's 
so much that happened so quickly

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and you can miss so much. 
And I have a three-year old. 

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Many of you know this. 
I have a three-year old. 

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I have a 5 year old. 
I have an 8 year old Erica. 

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You have a four and a no A5 and 
A2 now. 

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No, do not rush it. 
No, do not do that to me. 

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No, she'll be 4 in August. 
She's still my baby at three. 

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My son just turned 2. 
OK, OK, but. 

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Gigi yesterday and I love this 
and I will hold on to this 

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forever. 
Gigi yesterday told my son 

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because he kept saying that he 
was 2 and she said no you are 

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not 2 until you blow out your 
candles. 

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So I might just keep the candles
from them for birthdays. 

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Like you're forever one years 
old. 

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00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,920
I, I got to tell you the picture
that I sent you. 

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Well, technically it was today, 
but it really was yesterday 

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because at the end of my day, I 
just, I couldn't help but to, to

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just not cry looking at that 
beautiful picture of, of your 

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husband just holding your baby. 
And I, I got to tell you, we're 

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not guaranteed the time that we 
have and every moment that we 

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have is precious. 
So Jamie, look, here's here's 

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what I would offer you. 
OK, First of all, six years is a

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long time. 
And the gap between 4:00 and 

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10:00 is significant. 
And what you do in this very 

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formidable part of their lives 
is incredibly important. 

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And So what I would simply tell 
you is this, it's not a cut and 

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dry go leave the military, sit 
at home and do dishonorable work

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because they're both honorable. 
The the answer has to be founded

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in Proverbs chapter 3. 
Now look, it's a really easy 

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passage. 
It says very simple. 

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Trust in the Lord with all your 
heart. 

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This is verse 5. 
Lean not on your own 

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understanding in all your ways. 
Acknowledge him and he will 

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direct your paths. 
Now this is really important 

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because what it's basically 
saying there in the Proverbs is 

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that you need to trust God with 
everything in you every step of 

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the way. 
Don't lean on your own reasoning

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and basically every step you 
take just acknowledge the Lord 

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and the promise is he will 
direct your past. 

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Now it's no coincidence that 
later on in verse six and seven,

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it says be not wise and thine 
own eyes fear the Lord and 

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depart from evil. 
Because that advice that you get

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in verse 5 is predicated upon 
the idea that your commitment to

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the Lord is steadfast and in 
every situation it is, it's 

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different. 
And you have to keep this in 

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mind with Proverbs 31 because 
when we we often times deploy 

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the term biblical woman, 
biblical mother, biblical wife. 

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00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:09,079
And it's really important to 
understand that the average 

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woman will read Proverbs 31 and 
feel very convicted and feel 

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00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,520
very overwhelmed because they 
look at that proverb and they 

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think, man, I can't, I just, I 
can't wake up in the morning and

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do these 150 things. 
And then at the same time, you 

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know, feed my family, you know, 
kill the chicken, cook the 

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00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,080
chicken, make the eggs. 
I mean, that's what you what you

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describe. 
But there's a so many important 

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00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,480
facts tied to this that you have
to understand number one, and 

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this is critical. 
OK, Proverbs 31 does not list 

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00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,640
the day in the life of 
Bathsheba. 

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00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:52,360
OK, Proverbs 31 is presumably, 
and I really believe this, I can

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00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:56,480
make a very strong biblical case
for this is King Solomon 

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00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,800
eulogizing his mother. 
So what he's doing is he is 

258
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:07,760
describing the different aspects
of mom's life throughout the 

259
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,680
tenure of her life as she raised
him and grew up. 

260
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,680
The other thing you have to 
understand is the fact that it's

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00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:20,240
very likely the Bathsheba had a 
staff of hundreds, if not 

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00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,640
thousands of people that work 
for her. 

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00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,840
OK. 
And the reason why we know this 

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00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:29,000
is because when we read through 
the Bible, we see that Solomon, 

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00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,160
in order to just feed his 
servants, had to kill thousands 

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00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,640
of animals, animals every single
day. 

267
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,840
So, so you know that he had a 
massive infrastructure. 

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00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,600
She had an infrastructure 
supporting her. 

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00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,200
And so it spoke of a woman 
throughout the tenure of her 

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00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,480
life. 
So the issue here is to 

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recognize that the biblical 
woman is wherever God puts her, 

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00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,880
whether it be based on 
circumstances that get forced in

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00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:59,160
some context or whether it be 
simply a decision that you make 

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00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,000
based on instruction that God's 
given you. 

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00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,720
And This is why I think it's 
really critical that we're very 

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00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:10,240
careful to to define what a 
biblical woman is based on a set

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00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,920
of circumstances, because every 
set of circumstances is 

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00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,000
different. 
Now, if you're in a situation 

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00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,280
where you can be at home and you
feel led by the Lord and you 

280
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,920
have a wonderful, hard working 
husband, then by all means take 

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00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,440
the step of faith and do it, 
especially if you feel called as

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00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,000
you say you do when you 
understand it, go do it because 

283
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:34,480
you will not regret the the 
lifetime payment that you did 

284
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,400
not receive. 
And I think that there's a way 

285
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,600
that God works where he provides
for all of these needs and he 

286
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,520
does a pretty remarkable job in 
doing so. 

287
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,880
So I just think that you need to
be very open to the voice of 

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00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,920
God, hear what he says. 
And if you're not so sure, take 

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00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,200
the step of faith and then trust
that God will direct you. 

290
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,560
Now, if you go to take the step 
of faith and God shuts it down, 

291
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,240
well then you know exactly 
what's going on. 

292
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,560
But the reality of it is, I 
think that no matter how you cut

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00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,640
it. 
Just acknowledge the Lord in 

294
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,920
every aspect of the decision and
He'll bless you. 

295
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,760
I will tell you just from a 
personal perspective, this isn't

296
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,040
the Lord. 
This is just from a personal 

297
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,360
perspective. 
Time goes by quickly, very, very

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00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,000
quickly. 
And we have three beautiful 

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00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,040
children. 
We hope to adopt a few more and 

300
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,040
we're very excited about that 
possibility. 

301
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,120
But man, let me tell you, time 
goes by quick and and the 

302
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:31,080
ability to be able to spend time
with them during these 

303
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,600
formidable years are really, 
really important. 

304
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,840
So with that all said, I think 
you do what God leads you to do 

305
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,920
and He'll bless you no matter 
what the decision is, especially

306
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,360
if you're acknowledging Him and 
seeking Him. 

307
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,360
And you'll feel that conviction 
on your heart too. 

308
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,320
I know, Pastor James, you know 
what that feels like. 

309
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,320
And, and I think it's something 
that you can just pray for and 

310
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,400
that when you make a decision 
and you have a piece about it, 

311
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:58,800
that's the Holy Spirit where 
it's like you're not constantly 

312
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,720
trying to battle back and forth 
with what to do. 

313
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:05,440
The next questions from Mary, 
how do you keep yourself rooted 

314
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,960
in Christ while working 65 to 75
hour weeks? 

315
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,040
And how do I keep myself from 
straying away from the church 

316
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,960
while in treatment for bone 
cancer? 

317
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,520
God bless you, Mary. 
We're going to keep you in our 

318
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,920
prayers. 
Caitlin, can you add her to our 

319
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,800
prayer, Prayer Requests and 
Praise Reports list please? 

320
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,040
Yeah, and, and Mary will 
actually pray for you after I 

321
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,360
answer the question. 
Look, the way you keep rooted in

322
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:30,960
Christ. 
It even goes back to the 

323
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,600
Proverbs passage that I 
mentioned. 

324
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,880
And that is in the work that you
do. 

325
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,160
You give it all to the Lord. 
You, you make sure that God is 

326
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,080
integrated in every aspect of 
what you do. 

327
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,480
You be mindful of him. 
You look to His Word, you spend 

328
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:49,640
time seeking Him, and you know 
the way that you keep yourself 

329
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,600
from straying from the church 
while you're in treatment is you

330
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,400
take advantage of the wonderful 
resources that God has given 

331
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,280
you. 
One of the best resources, 

332
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,440
especially if you're spending 
time at an infusion center or 

333
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,880
something like that, is to just 
open up your phone and watch the

334
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,440
Bible studies that are being 
taught, whether it be at your 

335
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,080
church that's doing online 
streaming or if you don't have 

336
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,280
something like that at your 
church. 

337
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,680
We here at Bible in 365 provide 
for you the links to our church 

338
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,520
services where you'll be able to
hear the teaching of God's word 

339
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,520
live and you'll grow from it and
you'll be very, very blessed by 

340
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,400
it. 
But stay close to his word and 

341
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:28,320
stay in contact with his people 
and, and hopefully you have some

342
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,560
friends that are from your 
church that you're staying in 

343
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,160
contact with. 
You're sending texts to text 

344
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,960
chains, you know, going back and
forth. 

345
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,400
Those things are important. 
And I can promise you that your 

346
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,840
past will be blessed to be 
updated by you on your 

347
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,720
treatment. 
And I think in many cases, most 

348
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,400
cases, they'll actually come and
visit you during some of those 

349
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,600
times. 
No, it's true. 

350
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,200
You know what? 
You know what that reminds me 

351
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:53,800
of? 
Pastor James. 

352
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,160
When you talk about having those
good friends in your life, it 

353
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,800
reminds me of the Bible verse. 
You're going to know this one 

354
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:06,040
better than I do where Jesus 
where the guy the guy is sick 

355
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,560
and all of his friends come 
around him and literally grab 

356
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,040
him and then they go to the roof
and then they lower him down to 

357
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:19,040
where Jesus is from the roof, 
lower him down so Jesus can heal

358
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,200
him. 
And it's like that's how that's 

359
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,120
how important friends are. 
Is like they will take you where

360
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:28,000
you need to go in order to be 
healed or in order to just, you 

361
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,000
know, lead you to Jesus. 
And that's the importance of 

362
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,720
friendships. 
What's the Bible verse I to 

363
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,080
redeem myself. 
I did Kate help me on this. 

364
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,160
I did find out it's. 
It's it's it's Mark and Luke. 

365
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:46,960
It's Mark 2, one through 12 and 
and Luke 5I think verse 17 or 

366
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,640
so. 
Yeah, that's what I mean anyway,

367
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,640
so that it's the importance of 
friendships. 

368
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,800
There you go. 
Well, and it's actually an, an 

369
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,000
amazing passage that you bring 
up, believe it or not, it's 

370
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,920
actually very, very good because
this man wasn't just any man. 

371
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:03,120
He was a paralyzed man. 
He was completely dependent upon

372
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,160
others. 
He couldn't walk anything like 

373
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,880
that, You know, and his friends,
as you said, show real active 

374
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,760
faith, right? 
They, they don't just pray for 

375
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,800
him and, and walk away. 
These are people who physically 

376
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,480
carry him to Jesus. 
So even when blocked by the 

377
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,240
crowd, they put a hole through 
the roof and will go through 

378
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,280
amazing trouble to bring him to 
Christ. 

379
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,040
They literally tear open the 
roof. 

380
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:31,280
Those are the friends I want. 
I want roof terrors, the ones 

381
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,600
that will bust open a roof for 
me to get to Jesus. 

382
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,560
That's what I want, my army. 
That's absolutely right. 

383
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,560
And you have to be willing to be
disruptive. 

384
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,560
So what if it's costly? 
You know, you got to be bold. 

385
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,800
That's exactly what they did. 
And it actually shows that real 

386
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,720
faith is, is willing to take 
action, you know, and even when 

387
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,400
it's inconvenient, matter of 
fact, especially when it's 

388
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,640
inconvenient, that's what that's
what I just think. 

389
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,040
And Jesus, his response was 
awesome in that passage. 

390
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,080
He saw their faith. 
He literally saw it and he 

391
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,320
honored it and he blessed them. 
And I think that there's 

392
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,840
something very, very important 
about that, especially in that 

393
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,720
realm, especially in that day, 
the consequences of that 

394
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,400
backfiring would be, would be 
unreal. 

395
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,520
And I think that that's a 
question that that has to be 

396
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,680
asked. 
It's, it's I got to tell you. 

397
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,200
Can I tell you a really funny 
story about Charlie? 

398
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:24,720
It's just, it's like a really 
funny story. 

399
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,200
You, you actually know this 
story. 

400
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,520
But I don't mind telling this 
because it's just so awesome. 

401
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,200
One day, Charlie calls me. 
This is years and years and 

402
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,480
years and years ago. 
And the reason why he calls me 

403
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,240
was because I was at this event 
where he was accused of being 

404
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,480
racist, you know, over a, over 
some. 

405
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,400
It was it was wrong. 
It was it was a famous rapper 

406
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,840
that said something that was 
just not correct. 

407
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,800
It was a lie. 
And so he calls me and he says, 

408
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,080
James, this guy just you were 
there, right? 

409
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:52,800
This guy accused me of being a 
racist. 

410
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,960
I said, Charlie, look, leave it 
alone. 

411
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,160
Just leave it alone. 
Let me be the bulldog. 

412
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,160
I don't care. 
You know, I'm I'm going to go 

413
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,280
burn some bridges. 
Let me let me just go handle it,

414
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,360
right? 
So I go do this show and I and I

415
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:08,680
show the evidence and I defended
Charlie like vigorously, OK. 

416
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,000
And at the time I was on one of 
the largest radio stations in 

417
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,920
the country, one of the largest 
radio stations in the country. 

418
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,640
And I got kicked off the radio 
because I defended Charlie. 

419
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,480
They kicked me off the radio 
station and Charlie called me 

420
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,480
and he says, I'm so sorry. 
I didn't mean to get you kicked 

421
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,480
off. 
I didn't mean to get your kid. 

422
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,080
I'm like, bro, like don't sweat 
it. 

423
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:34,520
I don't care. 
Look, I am called by God to be 

424
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,840
that kind of friend to you. 
This is like this is we're 

425
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,160
called to fight the good fight. 
Well, let me tell you how God 

426
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,240
rewarded me. 
And I don't know if you, if you 

427
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,360
remember the story, I'll try to 
do it without getting like 

428
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:49,520
without getting really 
emotional, but I got probably 35

429
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,240
calls and I just kept ignoring 
it. 

430
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,440
Finally from the same number, 
finally I picked up the phone. 

431
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,800
And I, as I pick up the phone, 
the person who picks up the 

432
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,360
phone says, Hey, Pastor James, 
you don't know me, but I know 

433
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:04,440
you. 
I am the son of the man who used

434
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,080
to own this radio station. 
And on behalf of my mom and my 

435
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,320
sister, I want to thank you for 
taking a stand for righteousness

436
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,320
and doing the right thing. 
And just to thank you, I want to

437
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,920
put you on all my radio stations
for free. 

438
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,360
So I think, oh, OK, he's going 
to put me on like, you know, 

439
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:24,320
10-15 radio stations. 
Turns out he owns 700 of them. 

440
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,800
So, so, so listen to this. 
This is amazing. 

441
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,280
So he puts me on for free. 
OK. 

442
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,320
And then I do a show where I say
I hate abortion. 

443
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:38,800
And if there's anybody here 
that's listening to this, that 

444
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,160
what you want to abort your 
baby, you call the church. 

445
00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:43,960
And me and my wife will adopt 
that baby. 

446
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:49,080
So sure enough, we get word from
a woman who heard us on the 

447
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,600
radio and wanted to take us up 
on that. 

448
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,640
And as you know the story, I 
won't get into locations or 

449
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,320
anything. 
Four months later, we're in the 

450
00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:01,200
hospital witnessing the birth of
my son, named after my dad, who 

451
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,280
died earlier that year. 
Now, now here's the thing. 

452
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:11,320
Here's the thing, the radio show
that she heard me on, the radio 

453
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,360
station that she heard me on was
the Radio, One of the radio 

454
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,240
stations that that guy put me 
on. 

455
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:25,160
And so I wouldn't have my son if
I didn't RIP the roof open and 

456
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,040
drop the paralytic in the in the
room. 

457
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,840
Like if it wasn't for me, if it 
wasn't for Charlie, I wouldn't 

458
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,520
have my baby. 
Like, like, think about that. 

459
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,840
Like it's incredible. 
It's such a, it's such an 

460
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,720
incredible thing. 
And I I, but that's the 

461
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:43,800
faithfulness of God. 
Amen. 

462
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,800
It's. 
Just it's the faith. 

463
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,480
It's, it's, it's how good God is
to us. 

464
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,760
And if we're willing to do that,
if we're willing to take a 

465
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,480
stand, if we're willing to stick
our necks out, especially in the

466
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,800
world today that wants to make 
bonus points by just ripping on 

467
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,920
righteous people, My goodness, 
where, where is that going? 

468
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,280
You know, but to see the 
faithfulness of God and how he 

469
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,160
responds, God is so good. 
Amen. 

470
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,160
He. 
He's so good and I remember it 

471
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,400
like it was yesterday, almost 
four years ago. 

472
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,720
Just watching that happening. 
It's, it's unbelievable. 

473
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,320
God is so faithful. 
Amen. 

474
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,400
Amen. 
Now I got to blow my nose 

475
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,480
because I started crying. 
Sorry, Mary. 

476
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,240
We'll be praying for you. 
Thank you for your question. 

477
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,560
Our next question is from Sarah 
Louise. 

478
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,280
I am new to faith and just 
recently started going to church

479
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,920
along with my 3 year old 
daughter. 

480
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,760
How can I incorporate faith into
my everyday life? 

481
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,320
I shout a lot, which I don't 
want to do. 

482
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,760
I want to be calmer and more 
present and just be a better 

483
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:44,400
person and a better mom. 
I have been encouraged to pray, 

484
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,160
which I haven't done yet. 
Is this something I should be 

485
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,880
doing? 
And how often can I teach my 

486
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,040
child about faith in God? 
Every second you can. 

487
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,240
Yeah, yeah, this is a great 
question. 

488
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:59,560
And perhaps one of the most 
phenomenal ways to teach your 

489
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:04,000
children is to see them 'cause 
you to be subject to the Word of

490
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,960
God. 
I think that that may be the 

491
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,680
most effective way to be able to
minister. 

492
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:14,000
And I think that on on many 
levels, as parents, we think for

493
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,680
whatever reason, we can't do 
that. 

494
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,720
We think that, you know, we 
can't be the type of people, for

495
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,360
lack of a better term, that 
would that would be willing or 

496
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,760
that that that would be 
effective in doing so. 

497
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,080
But I think that if you, if you 
fall short on a regular basis 

498
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,040
and you're in a position as a 
mom where you feel like you're 

499
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,000
not doing the job that you need 
to do and you're not praying. 

500
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,720
But first and foremost, you have
to, you have to allow yourself 

501
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:46,080
to be seen by your parent or by 
your children as, as a parent 

502
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,080
who subjects themselves to the 
correction of God's word. 

503
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:54,360
And then in doing so, there's at
least three solid things that 

504
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,960
you can do in order to bring 
yourself to the goal of being 

505
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,120
able to raise your children. 
And, and listen, these three 

506
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:05,160
things are, are, are things that
are very practical, OK? 

507
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,880
They're not like they're not 
like difficult if you just 

508
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,360
simply understand them within 
the context that they that they 

509
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,880
were meant to be put in. 
And eventually it will get 

510
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,480
easier with time. 
OK, so first and foremost, you 

511
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,480
have to start with humility like
that. 

512
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,160
That's just critical. 
If you, if you're not willing to

513
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,960
be subject to the correcting of 
God's word, you're not going to 

514
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,960
be able to correct them 
effectively based on the 

515
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,880
authority of God's word. 
Your kids have to see you 

516
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,240
correcting yourself. 
They have to see you when you 

517
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,040
admit you're wrong and you don't
hide it. 

518
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,960
And when you show them that 
you're submitted to God's word 

519
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:41,920
and you're not above it, that 
it's the final Court of 

520
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,680
Arbitration, then it really 
changes things. 

521
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,000
So then here's what you do. 
First priority has to be your 

522
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,400
walk with God. 
If you can look, let me just say

523
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:55,400
this, you can't pour into your 
kids the things that you don't 

524
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,760
have. 
If there's no water in the 

525
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,680
fountain, you're not going to be
able to do it. 

526
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,120
So you have to set a consistent 
prayer life. 

527
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,000
But I think the perception of 
prayer is a difficult one for 

528
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,920
people to understand because 
they think you have to start 

529
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,920
talking and James language and 
oh thou this. 

530
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:14,640
Thus, no, it's just a simple 
Lord, I am tired right now. 

531
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,000
I need help, I'm frustrated. 
You need to be yourself and talk

532
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,960
to the Lord. 
But perhaps the most 

533
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,640
consequential aspect of this is 
that you have to build 

534
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,000
intentionality in your walk with
God. 

535
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,640
If if you don't build 
intentionality, you're not going

536
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,000
to be able to go anywhere. 
Think about it like this. 

537
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,160
In your job, you're intentional.
In the things that you do day in

538
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,040
and day out, you're very, very 
intentional. 

539
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,520
You, you have a purpose. 
You get in your car. 

540
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,680
No one gets in their car unless 
they have intentionality in, in 

541
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,400
where they're going to go. 
It's the same thing. 

542
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,920
So you have to pray with your 
kids, not just for them, You 

543
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,920
have to pray with them. 
This is something that I do with

544
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,800
my children every morning and 
every evening. 

545
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,520
You have to talk about God. 
Make God a regular part of your 

546
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,160
conversation and you have to 
make spiritual conversations 

547
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,640
very natural. 
Again, the, the, the point 

548
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:08,880
behind that is it, it, it, it 
involves intent, it involves 

549
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,560
creativity. 
You know, there's a big 

550
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,240
difference between forcing the 
conversation and making it feel 

551
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,920
natural. 
And that's looking for 

552
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,080
opportunities to do it. 
The best way, by the way, to do 

553
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:21,520
that is you read from a, a kids 
Bible story book and then let 

554
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,000
the kids start asking questions 
and automatically it does that. 

555
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,920
And then here's the other thing 
that I would tell you, because 

556
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,440
this is where the big trap comes
in. 

557
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:33,040
Whatever you do, make sure 
you're all about consistency and

558
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,400
you stop worrying about 
perfection, OK? 

559
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,360
You don't need to be perfect. 
You just need to be consistent, 

560
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,560
OK? 
Small daily habits matter way 

561
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,520
more than occasional big 
efforts. 

562
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,960
I tell this to people who who 
like want, you know, advice and 

563
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,400
business. 
Small daily habits will get you 

564
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,920
wealthy. 
Occasional big efforts will make

565
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,920
you it will, will send you to 
the poor house. 

566
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,800
And it's it, it's because it's a
spiritual principle. 

567
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:03,320
OK, Kids remember patterns. 
They do not remember one time 

568
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:04,840
moments. 
They never do. 

569
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,280
They always remember the 
behavior that is set into 

570
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,199
pattern. 
And here's the big one, right? 

571
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,360
You have to lead with grace and 
truth. 

572
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,520
So yeah, correct your kids, but 
do it with love. 

573
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,520
Don't just discipline behavior. 
Point them to the Lord. 

574
00:34:20,679 --> 00:34:23,960
OK and I'll give you a great 
example of this, my 3 year old. 

575
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:30,960
If he holds a glass in his hand,
I cannot justifiably discipline 

576
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,560
him for breaking the glass. 
That's what 3 year olds do. 

577
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,320
They break everything in front 
of them. 

578
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,800
They're destructive. 
OK, but what I can discipline my

579
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,120
son for is picking up the glass 
when I asked him on multiple 

580
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,960
times not to. 
So if he's picking up the glass 

581
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,120
and I told him not to, I'm going
to discipline him for picking up

582
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,199
the glass, not for breaking it. 
I expect him to break it. 

583
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,600
And the big mistake that a 
parent might make is you see, 

584
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,320
you broke the glass. 
You see what happened? 

585
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,600
Well, that's not fair because 
he's going to normally do that 

586
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,040
whether or not he's allowed to 
pick it up. 

587
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,840
He if he if he has it in his 
hand, he's going to break it. 

588
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,280
What you tell him is you say, 
well, look, I knew this would 

589
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,440
happen, son, because at your 
age, that's what just happens. 

590
00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:11,400
If you feel so inclined to do 
it. 

591
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:15,560
But the issue is accountability 
has to be led with mercy. 

592
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,640
So you're not mad at your son 
for breaking the glass, but but 

593
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,880
you are expressing 
disappointment in the fact that 

594
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,240
he disobeyed you. 
And then you give them the 

595
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:27,320
punishment and you bring them 
back, you hug them, you kiss 

596
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,600
them and you move on. 
And it's, and it's really 

597
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,240
important. 
Remember, you're not just 

598
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:34,640
raising good kids, OK? 
Like you, you don't want to just

599
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,240
raise good kids. 
You, you actually want to raise 

600
00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:40,320
kids who know God, who trust God
and follow God. 

601
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,840
And they're not going to do it 
if you're not the window for 

602
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,520
that. 
And I think that's something. 

603
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,640
And one final thing that I would
say that really, really helps. 

604
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,760
No matter what, I don't care if 
you sound like a broken record, 

605
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:56,600
do it at least three, 451015 
times a day if you can. 

606
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,760
Bring your children in 
individually. 

607
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:02,400
Hug them, kiss them, tell them 
you love them, embrace them, 

608
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,240
show them your love at random 
times. 

609
00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:08,240
I do it with all my children and
I think it's it's really 

610
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,000
beautiful. 
I spend a lot of time telling my

611
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,520
girls how beautiful they are and
I spend a whole bunch of time 

612
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,480
hugging my son and telling him 
how proud I am of him and 

613
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,400
kissing him because I know it's 
going to go a long way later. 

614
00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,840
I think if you do a combination 
of all of those things, you're 

615
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:26,760
going to be just fine. 
Yeah, let me I totally agree. 

616
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,560
Sorry there's so many good 
questions here that IA lot of 

617
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,720
them. 
The next few deal with husband's

618
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:38,400
position as a leader so I might 
I might clump Kaylin and Haley's

619
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:42,400
together. 
Kaylin's is Is there any reading

620
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,680
you can recommend for a wife on 
how to help her husband be a 

621
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,320
good leader and Haley's is? 
My husband is having trouble 

622
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,640
being a leader. 
He won't read his Bible and be 

623
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,240
committed. 
I feel God is leading us to a 

624
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,040
specific place. 
My husband says he disagrees and

625
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,120
feels God is calling him to 
need, but we are to stay here. 

626
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,920
What advice would you give to 
me? 

627
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:09,880
So I guess that's twofold. 
You know how the wife can 

628
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,800
support her husband as a leader 
and then, yeah, her husband. 

629
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,200
Yeah, and I think all reading 
should start from the Bible just

630
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,080
because it's the final Court of 
Arbitration. 

631
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,040
So yeah, there there's some good
insight here. 

632
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,360
There's there's actually a lot 
that can be done. 

633
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,360
And and look, the, the, the 
question is very loaded in many 

634
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:33,240
ways because we just don't know 
all the answers. 

635
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,880
We don't know, like I don't know
all the details related to 

636
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,760
what's actually happening. 
So let me just start with the 

637
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,920
basics because I think those 
things are important, right? 

638
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:44,120
You have to start with the 
foundation, the the Bible is the

639
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,720
final authority on this. 
So you have to focus on passages

640
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:51,000
that deal with marriage, the 
roles within marriage and 

641
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,880
submission to God. 
Like those are the those are the

642
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,480
most important things to be 
thinking about. 

643
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:57,520
Ephesians chapter 5 is a really,
really good example of this. 

644
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,760
This is one that men and women 
like, don't like to read because

645
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,200
in Ephesians chapter 5, I think 
it's around verse 22, it says, 

646
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,040
you know, wives, you're supposed
to submit to your own husbands 

647
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,120
as unto the Lord. 
For the husband is the head of 

648
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,080
the wife, even as Christ is the 
head of the church. 

649
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:16,400
But then it goes on to say that 
that husbands have an obligation

650
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,800
to their wives and that's very, 
very important. 

651
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:23,160
So therefore, as the church is 
subject unto Christ, then wives 

652
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:26,600
ought to be to their own 
husbands in, in everything. 

653
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,480
That's a difficult passage to 
read to women who are looking 

654
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,440
for direction and what to do 
with their husbands. 

655
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:35,040
OK, again, first Peter does the 
same same thing. 

656
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,680
It it says exactly the same 
thing in essence to be subject 

657
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,680
to their own husband. 
And and actually it's very 

658
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,960
interesting how it talks about 
the action of the wife winning 

659
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:50,600
over their husband without even 
anything other than the simple 

660
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,720
pleasant conversation of their 
wives. 

661
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,240
And that's a very difficult 
thing to be able to understand 

662
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:58,920
in some context because it 
requires faith to do it right. 

663
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,600
So the other thing that a wife 
does, and this is important, 

664
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,480
right, is that she respects his 
role, OK? 

665
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,920
She helps him in in his leading.
And I think the big problem that

666
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,760
happens is when you don't agree 
with your husband. 

667
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,400
It's really easy to go to him 
and tell him you don't agree and

668
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,800
you take away his ability to be 
able to lead. 

669
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,600
And you just can't do that. 
You have to respect his role 

670
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,080
even when he struggles. 
So you don't. 

671
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,240
The whole idea is you don't 
compete with his leadership. 

672
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,680
If you try to do that, you're 
going to create a problem. 

673
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,880
You can't undermine him in tone 
or even in actions. 

674
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,360
You have to lead spiritually by 
example and not force. 

675
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,880
You can't pressure him into some
godliness. 

676
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,880
Your consistency with God is 
going to matter more than any 

677
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,440
kind of lectures or dare I even 
say the word, forgive me for 

678
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,560
saying this nagging. 
I'm not saying that you would 

679
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,240
nag. 
I'm just saying that this is 

680
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,560
this is kind of an important 
thing to understand. 

681
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,320
You have to pray for him. 
Seriously. 

682
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,240
Seriously. 
And that means is a word that 

683
00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:58,360
I've been bringing up lately, 
Intentionality. 

684
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,760
You've got to pray very 
specifically. 

685
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,760
You have to pray for conviction 
of the Holy Spirit. 

686
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,880
You've got to pray for boldness 
in making decisive decisions. 

687
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,400
And you have to pray for 
obedience to the word of God 

688
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,800
because it's the only way he's 
going to make the decisions that

689
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,320
he makes. 
And if he doesn't, right then 

690
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,200
his wife, you are going to be 
comfortable with him. 

691
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,560
You're going to trust him in the
decisions that he makes, even if

692
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,640
it doesn't make sense. 
And that happens with me and 

693
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,600
Nicole all the time. 
You can see it. 

694
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,240
I can see it in Nicole when she 
sees me make a decision that 

695
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:29,040
scares her or doesn't make 
sense. 

696
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,560
But she rests in the decisions 
that she sees me make because 

697
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,480
she knows that the end result is
always going to be wonderful 

698
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:38,200
because she, he sees the leading
of the Lord in my life. 

699
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,440
So this is the other part. 
And this is probably the hardest

700
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,320
piece of advice that I give to 
people in this kind of 

701
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,360
situation. 
And that's this. 

702
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:49,360
You have to create an 
environment that encourages 

703
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,040
leadership. 
OK? 

704
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,520
That's not easy because that 
means you have to support his 

705
00:40:54,520 --> 00:41:00,440
decisions even when they they 
don't agree with you, OK? 

706
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,280
Especially when they're not 
sinful. 

707
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,320
So if he's making decisions that
are not sinful, but you just 

708
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,600
don't like, you got to support 
him in it, OK? 

709
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:12,120
And you even have to affirm all 
of these small steps on a 

710
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,600
regular basis in the right 
direction. 

711
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,800
You can't you, you have to let 
him make the decisions and 

712
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,280
experience that. 
And when he makes a decision, 

713
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,600
you can't subvert him in that 
decision. 

714
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,640
You have to say, OK, honey, what
can I do to help us move in the 

715
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,640
direction you feel LED for us to
move into, OK. 

716
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,600
And the hard truth about this 
situation is difficult, OK? 

717
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,840
If he's not in the Word, he's 
not going to be leading 

718
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,240
biblically. 
And a man can't claim spiritual 

719
00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:40,280
leadership while he's rejecting 
God's Word. 

720
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:44,760
I'll give you that. 
But the real issue here is it's 

721
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,480
not a small one. 
OK, now let me just say this. 

722
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,160
I think it's important and it's 
worth spending time answering 

723
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,040
this on the issue of 
disagreement about where God is 

724
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,920
leading, Understand this for a 
second, OK? 

725
00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,920
God is never going to contradict
his word. 

726
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,680
If he's not seeking God through 
his word, his leading is going 

727
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,840
to end up becoming questionable.
OK, I, I, I should, I should say

728
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,040
that, but he still needs to be 
careful not to become 

729
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,680
controlling because there is a, 
a, a condition of submission 

730
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,320
between the two of you. 
So what she should do when that 

731
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,240
sort of tension is taking place,
when that difficulty is 

732
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,080
happening 'cause I just lost 
track of the names here. 

733
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:27,760
You cannot follow him into sin. 
OK, if there's anything you're 

734
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,360
going to know, don't follow your
husband into sin. 

735
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,280
If a decision violates God's 
Word, you have to obey God 

736
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,440
first. 
But you can't be disparaging 

737
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,880
about it and you certainly 
cannot be a belligerent about 

738
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,760
it. 
You just have to humbly explain 

739
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:45,880
that this is what's going on. 
Now, if it's not sin and it's 

740
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,480
disagreement, which often times 
that is more the case, look, 

741
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,960
this becomes a matter of 
trusting God with his 

742
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,480
leadership. 
You, you have to trust that God 

743
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:57,160
is eventually going to deal with
him, even if he's wrong. 

744
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,680
God has to be. 
You have to give room for God to

745
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,400
correct him. 
And what's amazing is when God 

746
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,120
does correct him, he turns 
around a lot faster than when 

747
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,960
you're trying to correct them. 
OK, And that's like important. 

748
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,800
And finally, just do this. 
It's critical. 

749
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,320
OK? 
Whatever you do, communicate 

750
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:18,280
clearly and respectfully. 
Don't communicate in a leading 

751
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,200
way. 
Share what you believe God is 

752
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,680
showing you and do it without 
accusation or any kind of 

753
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,080
disrespect. 
Say, honey, this is the way I 

754
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,480
feel. 
And then give it to the Lord to 

755
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,320
let him make that decision. 
Okay. 

756
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,600
And I think that there is some 
really, really, really good 

757
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,920
places to go with this. 
By the way, we did a series on 

758
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,200
marriage. 
I did a series on marriage. 

759
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,880
If you go to jamescadiz.com, 
you'll be able to find it. 

760
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,760
I think it will really help you 
in this type of situation. 

761
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,200
And just remember this, you'll 
never be able to fix your 

762
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,880
husband. 
That's God's job, right? 

763
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,720
You can honor God. 
You can certainly live out your 

764
00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:54,880
life for the Lord and pray for 
him moving forward. 

765
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,040
But just understand your 
greatest influence on your 

766
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,360
husband isn't going to be 
pressure. 

767
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:05,120
It's going to be living 
intentionally as an example and 

768
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,800
living consistently. 
If you do those things, you will

769
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,920
be in great shape. 
Now in, in some cases it's going

770
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,480
to take a long time. 
OK, in some cases it won't take 

771
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,680
a long time. 
You just have to trust the Lord 

772
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,680
to let God deal with it the way 
he wants to deal with it while 

773
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:24,280
walking humbly with the Lord. 
We had a situation where a woman

774
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,320
came to me and was in staunch 
disagreement with her husband. 

775
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,680
Her husband told her, I don't 
want you giving money to the 

776
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:31,320
church. 
I work super hard for this 

777
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,840
money. 
I don't want you doing it. 

778
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,120
And she came to me and she said,
I, I need to know what to say to

779
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,120
my husband. 
And she was shocked to find out 

780
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,000
that I told her to do what her 
husband said. 

781
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,200
I said go home to your husband. 
Tell your husband that your 

782
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:49,920
pastor said don't give to the 
church if that's his leading and

783
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,840
allow him to work with it. 
We'll make a Long story short. 

784
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:54,520
He got saved through that 
council. 

785
00:44:56,320 --> 00:45:00,320
So, you know, again, there's 
there's a mechanic that's 

786
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,280
involved here that the example 
that you provide will will 

787
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,880
change a lot. 
And that's what you have to do. 

788
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,040
Walk humbly with your God and 
allow your God to do the work 

789
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,800
that He wants to do and can do 
in that situation. 

790
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,040
Yeah, no, I think it's beautiful
going. 

791
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:20,200
I found out the quote that I was
trying to say earlier about 

792
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:21,880
going through. 
Hell yeah. 

793
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:26,520
OK, so apparent it's a it's been
fact checked that actually 

794
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:31,280
Winston Churchill did not say 
this, but it was it's commonly 

795
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,200
attributed to Winston saying it,
but it's it it's if you're going

796
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,440
through hell, keep going. 
That was it. 

797
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,480
Somebody in the control room 
said sounds like a rod a Rodney 

798
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:46,320
Adkins song kind of if you're 
going through hell, keep going. 

799
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,240
All right, back to the next 
question. 

800
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,920
Next questions from Jean Does 
God want us to take care of 

801
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,160
ourselves before we take care of
others, or are we supposed to 

802
00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:00,440
take care of others instead? 
Our boundaries biblical Our 

803
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,040
boundaries ever No, she 
repeated. 

804
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,000
Our boundaries ever biblical. 
How do we know when we are doing

805
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,880
too much for another person or 
when someone is expecting too 

806
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:12,080
much from us? 
I think often Christians, even 

807
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,880
moms, often neglect themselves 
to care for others because so 

808
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:18,520
many scriptures seem to say to 
think of others as better than 

809
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,520
self, go the extra mile, deny 
self, etcetera. 

810
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,760
Does God want us to take care of
ourselves? 

811
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,080
And where in scripture does it 
say this biblically? 

812
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,280
What does it look like to love 
ourselves in a healthy way that 

813
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,320
God might want for us? 
Who? 

814
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:38,120
OK, that's, that's a pretty 
loaded question, especially when

815
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:42,200
you start by saying what does 
God want us to take care of 

816
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:43,880
ourselves before we take care of
others? 

817
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:49,680
Look, there is a massive 
biblical precedent behind this, 

818
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:53,200
believe it or not. 
What's interesting is there's no

819
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:58,440
real ambiguity here, OK? 
It's, it's very, very clear. 

820
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,560
Let me start off by just giving 
you a very short answer. 

821
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:07,400
The answer is absolutely, 100% 
yes, boundaries are biblical. 

822
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:12,080
OK, but I want, I want to 
explain this because this has to

823
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:16,440
the caveat has to be explained 
here, not in the modern 

824
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,520
self-centered sense. 
OK, Like I just want to say that

825
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,520
right off the bat, biblical 
boundaries are about obedience 

826
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:26,480
to God, not protecting comfort. 
And we live in a world right now

827
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,200
that protects comfort. 
And I think that's, I'm not 

828
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,240
saying that that's what you're 
asking about Gene, but I think 

829
00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:36,360
that what happens is we go out 
of our way to protect comfort in

830
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,040
a way that's uniquely 
detrimental. 

831
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,320
So where do we start with this? 
OK, Jesus himself is the best 

832
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,880
place to go to understand where 
modeled boundaries actually 

833
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:44,880
look. 
OK. 

834
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,320
He didn't heal everyone all the 
time. 

835
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,720
He often withdrew from crowds. 
We can see that Luke chapter 5 

836
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,280
tells us this. 
He withdrew himself into the 

837
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,720
wilderness and he prayed and, 
and it was interesting because 

838
00:47:56,720 --> 00:48:00,440
people in that chapter, people 
were constantly demanding of 

839
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:02,160
him. 
They were pushing up against 

840
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:03,880
him. 
And he knew that he needed to 

841
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,600
take some time to rest and to 
pray and look. 

842
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:10,480
We're called to serve others, 
but but remember this, we're not

843
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,800
called to enable sin or 
dysfunction. 

844
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:16,000
So we're, you know, Galatians 
says that we're supposed to bear

845
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000
one another's burdens. 
That's very, very clear. 

846
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,480
Bear you one another's burdens 
and fulfill the law of Christ 

847
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:25,200
for every man. 
Listen it 22 verses later, I 

848
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,600
think it's two or three verses 
later, I think it's verse 5, it 

849
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,600
says for every man shall bear 
his own burden. 

850
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,560
OK, so, so there's the balance 
there. 

851
00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:36,120
And it means this. 
You help people with burdens 

852
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,600
that they can't carry, but you 
don't take responsibility for 

853
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,720
what they should carry 
themselves. 

854
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,440
See, people come to me all the 
time and they ask for business 

855
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,240
advice. 
And what they often times are 

856
00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:48,920
asking me for is a loan to get 
them out of a bad decision that 

857
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:51,840
they made. 
Well, if I can identify what 

858
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,280
they can't handle in that 
moment, I will help them with 

859
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:55,960
that. 
But I'm not going to carry all 

860
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,520
of it because it would destroy 
them. 

861
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,760
So denying yourself does not 
mean neglecting yourself. 

862
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,640
Denying self means rejecting sin
and selfish ambition. 

863
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:05,800
I think that's a really 
important thing. 

864
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:11,040
By the way, I feel very 
hypocritical when I say this, 

865
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,160
OK? 
Because one of the things that 

866
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,960
denying yourself does not mean 
is it does not mean ignoring 

867
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,880
your physical limits or burning 
out or letting other people 

868
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:20,520
control you. 
And I kind of feel like a 

869
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:25,200
hypocrite in this because yes, 
at one point I was £350 heavier 

870
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,160
than I am today, OK. 
And I've lost a lot of weight, 

871
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:32,560
but I, I, I got to tell you, I 
abused my body. 

872
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:37,200
And I often times doing it, I do
it under the auspice of denying 

873
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,720
myself for others. 
So what good am I to my children

874
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:44,080
if I'm dead, you know? 
So if I drive myself into the 

875
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,080
ground, it's probably not a good
idea. 

876
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:47,400
But what is the proper view 
like? 

877
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,600
Where would you go to find out 
what that means? 

878
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,640
Well, Jesus said it. 
You love your neighbor as you 

879
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,280
love yourself, So you can't love
others. 

880
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:59,440
Well, if you're completely 
depleted, you just can't. 

881
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,240
If you don't have spiritual 
strength, you're not going to be

882
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:05,160
able to love people. 
You're operating in resentment 

883
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,880
when I go to people and I say, 
are you OK, brother? 

884
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,000
Are you OK? 
Sweetheart? 

885
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,640
Do you need anything? 
I'm, I have no authority to do 

886
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,360
that if I'm not equipped to be 
able to take all the strength 

887
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,920
that God has given me and take 
the outflow and give it to them.

888
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:25,520
So, you know, again, I feel like
a hypocrite when I say this, but

889
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:27,640
First Corinthians is a perfect 
example of this, First 

890
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,800
Corinthians chapter 6. 
And mind you, I have been taking

891
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,880
extensive effort, making 
extensive effort to make my body

892
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:35,800
healthy. 
I have certain limitations in 

893
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,400
that I have a nerve disease that
affects my balance substantially

894
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,520
and there's other issues that I 
constantly deal with. 

895
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,400
But Paul said it, he says, wait,
don't you know your body is the 

896
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,160
temple of the Holy Ghost, which 
is in you? 

897
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,080
So this is first Corinthians 
chapter 6. 

898
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,920
So you were bought with a price.
Therefore glorify God in your 

899
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,400
body and in your spirit, which 
are gods. 

900
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,640
That means taking care of 
yourself is not selfish. 

901
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:02,400
It's actually stewardship. 
OK, again, I, I feel a little 

902
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:05,280
like, oh, hypocritical when I 
say that because I push the 

903
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:06,960
limits in ways most people 
don't. 

904
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,560
And, and I think God's given me 
a capacity to be able to do 

905
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,920
that, but there are times when 
too much is too much. 

906
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,720
So this is how you know when 
you're doing too much. 

907
00:51:15,720 --> 00:51:19,400
OK, you have to, you have to ask
yourselves these questions, OK? 

908
00:51:19,720 --> 00:51:23,480
Are you stepping into areas that
God never called you to carry? 

909
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,400
OK, people come to me all the 
time and they tell me, James, I 

910
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,960
don't know how you can carry 
everything that you can carry. 

911
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,640
And I tell them the same thing 
every time I do it because God's

912
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,480
given me supernatural ability to
do it. 

913
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:39,840
That's why it feels easy. 
So you don't step into something

914
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,440
that you that God never called 
you to carry #1 #2 this is 

915
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:46,640
really important. 
Are you enabling somebody else's

916
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,520
laziness or are you enabling 
their sin? 

917
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:50,920
If somebody comes to me and 
says, James, will you help me 

918
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,120
with this? 
I won't do it. 

919
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:54,760
If they're do, if they're asking
me because they're lazy or if 

920
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,120
they're doing it because they 
want me to enable their evil 

921
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,560
actions. 
So somebody comes up to me and 

922
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,640
says, James, will you lie about 
this or James, will you do this?

923
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:02,600
Or James, will you do that for 
me? 

924
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:06,000
If I'm enabling one of those 
characteristics, I want nothing 

925
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,320
to do with it. 
I'm just not going to do it. 

926
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,920
The other thing that you have to
ask yourself, this is how you 

927
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,600
know if you're doing too much. 
Are you constantly drained? 

928
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:18,320
Like, like your energy is gone 
with no time to spend with God 

929
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,800
to refill. 
And that's, that's a that's a 

930
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:23,120
big one. 
But perhaps the biggest one is, 

931
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:26,440
are you serving out of guilt 
instead of obedience, not to be 

932
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:30,080
conflated with conviction. 
OK, so here are the boundaries. 

933
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,600
Say yes to God first, not people
first. 

934
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:34,520
I mean, I think that's really 
simple. 

935
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,480
So you serve others joyfully. 
You can't have resentment when 

936
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,400
you serve people. 
If you have resentment, there's 

937
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:44,000
something bigger going on and 
you need to, you need to, to 

938
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,640
deal with that also by saying 
no. 

939
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,480
Sometimes you have to allow 
people to face consequences when

940
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,080
needed. 
You, your, your, your walk with 

941
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:56,000
God is the most important thing.
So loving yourself biblically, 

942
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,680
not self obsession, not self 
priority, none of those things. 

943
00:52:59,960 --> 00:53:03,040
It's walking in obedience. 
That right there is the key. 

944
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,600
Taking care of what God has 
entrusted to you and staying 

945
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:09,480
spiritually healthy so that you 
can actually serve other people 

946
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,400
who desperately need it. 
And I think that's really where 

947
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,160
it comes from. 
And I think the boundaries that 

948
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,640
are biblical, that exists when 
the boundaries are biblical, 

949
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:20,760
it's when they are coupled with 
obedience, when they're coupled 

950
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,520
with wisdom that God gives you 
and when they're coupled with 

951
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,360
being a good steward. 
So I, I think that's, that's 

952
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,760
really important. 
And, and they're never about 

953
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:33,120
never should be about avoiding 
sacrifice or discomfort. 

954
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:37,240
A lot of people, you know, are, 
are, are doing this because they

955
00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:39,200
want to avoid sacrifice or 
discomfort. 

956
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:42,240
And that's a bad reason. 
And the perfect example is 

957
00:53:42,240 --> 00:53:46,200
Christ, who obediently went to 
the cross, not willingly. 

958
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,040
I think it's a great example. 
Amen. 

959
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:53,680
These next 4 questions, they're 
about toxic relationships, so 

960
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,520
I'm going to read all four of 
them and then we'll just answer 

961
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:58,640
them. 
Sure. 

962
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:04,000
Alvaro asked. 
How do I recover from fatigue 

963
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,960
due to constantly combating the 
negative influence of sin being 

964
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,160
practiced by others at my job 
and in the community on a daily 

965
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:13,240
basis? 
Shelly asks how do I deal with 

966
00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:15,320
family and friends in a 
Christian way when they are 

967
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,640
toxic, manipulative and 
narcissistic? 

968
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:20,400
I'm struggling with it and it's 
hurting my marriage a bit. 

969
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:23,200
I would appreciate your advice, 
Michelle. 

970
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,600
I recently had to cut off 
contact with my son's 

971
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:28,920
grandmother for sharing some 
things with my nine year old son

972
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,680
that my husband and I had chosen
not to share with him at this 

973
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:33,760
age. 
I am working on forgiving her, 

974
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:36,040
but I wonder if I'm doing this 
all wrong. 

975
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,840
I just feel so conflicted. 
Like how do I protect my 

976
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,360
children from someone who is 
letting the enemy work through 

977
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,240
her and love her? 
How do we love people and 

978
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,200
protect our young ones? 
And then April asks. 

979
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,480
I'm in a group. 
I'm in a text group with three 

980
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,840
acquaintances from church. 
They frequently use this text 

981
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:57,480
group to complain about their 
husbands and children. 

982
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:00,600
We've read about how God 
responds to civilizations that 

983
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,080
would work to take the 
Israelites away from Him. 

984
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,640
How can we figure out when and 
how long to work on bringing 

985
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:10,040
other towards Christ and when we
need to remove ourselves from 

986
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,200
situations in order to guard our
hearts? 

987
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:18,160
I know those all honestly 
deserve their own responses, but

988
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:22,320
but overarching you know of 
being. 

989
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,640
I mean it goes back to 
boundaries as well, but over 

990
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:28,120
just maybe blanket it over this 
so we can. 

991
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:29,840
Because we have so many 
questions. 

992
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,640
And I just want to be able to. 
Yeah, and I had to write down a 

993
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:35,480
few names on this because 
there's a lot here, but I'm 

994
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,120
going to be as. 
I'll help you when we go back 

995
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:42,120
with with who said what. 
OK, I'm going to summarize this 

996
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:47,240
as much as possible and be as 
succinct as possible in being 

997
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:50,480
able to really address these, 
because all of these are very, 

998
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:54,600
very important questions. 
OK, So, so let's deal with this.

999
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:58,360
OK, Let's deal with what I would
call the big, the big picture 

1000
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,000
principle. 
This is what was going through 

1001
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,960
my head as you were reading all 
of these, OK? 

1002
00:56:04,240 --> 00:56:07,480
And I know that nobody watching 
this is going to take this the 

1003
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:08,400
wrong way. 
OK. 

1004
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,400
So I'm just, I'm going to say it
right off the bat. 

1005
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,920
First of all, you are all called
to love people, not to be 

1006
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:18,160
controlled by them. 
You are all called to serve, not

1007
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,360
enable sin. 
Like that's just a given, OK. 

1008
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,080
You're also called, and this is 
a hard one. 

1009
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:28,120
You're also called to guard your
heart and your home. 

1010
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:34,040
I can't help but to understand 
or or or to share a passage like

1011
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:36,840
Proverbs, which is an easy one, 
by the way, to know. 

1012
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:40,600
And that is keep thy heart with 
all diligence. 

1013
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,480
Why? 
For out of it are the issues of 

1014
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:46,520
life. 
OK, So let's talk about Alvaro. 

1015
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:47,680
I think it's Alvaro. 
Yeah. 

1016
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,080
Alvaro, really quickly. 
He was talking about recovering 

1017
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:53,480
from from fatigue. 
OK, first of all, just remember 

1018
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:54,840
this, Alvaro. 
Don't ever forget it. 

1019
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,520
You're not called to fix your 
environment. 

1020
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,000
You're called to stand in it 
without being shaped by it. 

1021
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,720
That's, that's the call that God
has given you. 

1022
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:05,720
So Jesus didn't burn out here, 
obviously, because he's God, but

1023
00:57:05,720 --> 00:57:07,720
he regularly withdrew and 
prayed. 

1024
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:11,960
I talked about this earlier, OK,
He stayed anchored to the Father

1025
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,440
and not people. 
So practically just understand 

1026
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,440
this. 
Limit unnecessary exposure when 

1027
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,080
possible, right? 
You, you got to deal with what 

1028
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,320
you got to deal with. 
Just limit it as much as 

1029
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:25,360
possible. 
Build daily intentionality and 

1030
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:30,480
how you reset spiritually, OK 
Meaning make sure that one of 

1031
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,800
your lunch breaks or two of 
your, you know, snack breaks, 

1032
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,760
whatever they might be, are 
designed to get in your car, 

1033
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:41,120
read the Bible, or do something 
that resets your focus on the 

1034
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:42,520
Lord. 
That's critical. 

1035
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:46,440
OK, Remember, this conviction is
God's job. 

1036
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:49,360
It's not yours. 
So you're you're going to get 

1037
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,600
fatigued if you try to become 
the Holy Spirit. 

1038
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:57,040
Now with respect to I think, I 
think it was Shelly talking 

1039
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:58,640
about toxic. 
Is that the one that? 

1040
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,120
Talked toxic and manipulative 
and narcissistic with Shelly. 

1041
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:02,480
Yeah. 
Yeah, yeah, OK. 

1042
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:08,080
So, Shelly, look, man, there's 
been a theme in this. 

1043
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,320
We, we've been talking about 
this all day today, which is 

1044
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,120
awesome. 
Like I, it's the Holy Spirit. 

1045
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:15,720
I think he, he moves in this. 
Look, loving someone does not 

1046
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,240
mean giving them access to hurt 
you repeatedly. 

1047
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:22,480
It just doesn't, OK, allow, you 
know, allowing manipulation to 

1048
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,520
continue. 
That's not loving someone. 

1049
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,760
OK, Romans chapter 12. 
You know, I love Romans 12. 

1050
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,400
By the way, Romans 12 was one of
Charlie's favorite. 

1051
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:34,840
Passages in the Bible It was in 
our wedding we we Romans 12. 

1052
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:40,480
He was so infatuated with this 
the first time I ever introduced

1053
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:41,800
this to him. 
Like sit down and talk to him. 

1054
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,200
Like what does it mean to be a 
living sacrifice? 

1055
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,480
One of the things I told him, as
I said, look, you learn what it 

1056
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,600
means to be a living sacrifice 
by reading the rest of Romans 12

1057
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,200
because it gives you the 
blueprint. 

1058
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:58,800
Did you know in Romans 12, there
are at minimum 25 tips, not 

1059
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:03,320
tips, commands that teach you 
how to get along with people. 

1060
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:05,440
It's, it's just absolutely 
amazing. 

1061
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,120
So Romans 12/18, this is my 
favorite one, right? 

1062
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:10,400
Well, there's a lot of them, 
right? 

1063
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:13,360
But Romans 12/18 says if it be 
possible. 

1064
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,840
I remember, I remember exactly. 
I think that was the phrase if 

1065
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:20,320
it be possible as much as in 
you, as much as life in you live

1066
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:23,480
peaceably with all men. 
So the, the, the, the phrase 

1067
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:27,120
here is if it be possible. 
So you've got to be practical. 

1068
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,920
You set clear limits on access 
and influence. 

1069
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:34,000
Be kind, but don't be naive, OK?
It's like there's a there's a 

1070
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,920
big difference between being 
kind and being nice. 

1071
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:38,960
OK, I would say be kind. 
You don't have to be nice. 

1072
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:44,960
Protect your marriage first. 
Whatever you do, protect your 

1073
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,920
marriage first. 
Your marriage is the most 

1074
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:51,200
important thing. 
Learn to use your husband as the

1075
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,880
tool that he can be to you to 
allow you to step into the 

1076
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:56,960
covering that God designed for 
him to be. 

1077
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:00,760
And, and I think that this is 
this is really important by the 

1078
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:03,240
way. 
I'm, I'm saying this not because

1079
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,000
of the circumstances that are at
hand, but I'm saying this 

1080
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,480
because there's a reason why God
tells us to protect the widows, 

1081
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,560
because the widows lose their 
covering. 

1082
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:15,840
They don't, they don't have it. 
So they're now having to assume 

1083
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,520
a new type of covering. 
And that covering can only be 

1084
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:22,680
effective if the people in their
life point them to Jesus and 

1085
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:24,520
continue to defend them and love
on them. 

1086
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:29,200
Protect the covering that you 
have, OK? 

1087
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:34,320
Now with respect to Michelle, 
boy, this, this one is so 

1088
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:36,120
difficult. 
It's loaded. 

1089
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,520
And I totally understand why 
you're asking this question 

1090
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,760
because you're talking about 
your grandmother or your son's 

1091
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:46,000
grandmother. 
Look, forgiveness and access are

1092
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,760
never the same thing. 
They never will be. 

1093
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,880
OK, Romans 12, I think it's the 
next verse. 

1094
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,800
It says, dearly beloved, I think
this is verse 19. 

1095
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:57,400
Avenge not yourself. 
OK? 

1096
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:02,960
So again, forgive her before 
God, but you can restrict access

1097
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,800
to your child. 
Your responsibility is to 

1098
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,320
protect your children's 
spiritual and emotional safety. 

1099
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,320
And that's not a lack of love, 
that's actually obedience. 

1100
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:16,320
So you can love Grandma, but you
don't have to trust her. 

1101
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:21,520
Now with that said, can I just 
beg you to talk to Grandma and 

1102
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:26,600
just ask her, did you overstep 
because you felt like it was OK?

1103
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:29,200
Because this is our conviction. 
And if you're OK with that, 

1104
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:30,920
let's move on. 
I don't want to hold the kids in

1105
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,560
front of you, not let you have 
access to the kids. 

1106
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:34,840
Is it something that she could 
correct herself with? 

1107
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,680
If it isn't, then Oh well, like 
you move on. 

1108
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,720
This is the the terrible part 
about answering these questions.

1109
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,600
When you don't know the details 
about some of them, it's really 

1110
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:48,200
hard to comment. 
Is this an Is? 

1111
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,520
This an exploitive thing or is 
this? 

1112
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:53,320
Well, let me you're nine years 
old, let me tell you about the 

1113
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:55,800
birds and the bees, you know, 
like you just don't know. 

1114
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,960
Like is it, is it something 
where she took it a step too 

1115
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:02,440
far, meaning well, or was it 
truly an exploitive action? 

1116
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,120
So depending on that, of course,
try to work it out. 

1117
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:08,400
The worst thing you want to do 
is take a grandma away from her 

1118
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:11,440
children like her grandchildren.
But if that's what it takes, 

1119
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:17,840
then you have to do it. 
OK, Now, April, this one is 

1120
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:18,800
tough. 
OK. 

1121
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,400
And and I'm going to say it 
because I am a part of certain 

1122
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:26,920
small group, well, let me say 
text groups that are terrible. 

1123
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,160
One of them is a text group full
of a bunch of pastors. 

1124
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:33,480
I just have to limit myself in 
terms of how much I I I read 

1125
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,440
those text messages because 
they're really bad. 

1126
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:37,960
I know that sounds crazy, but, 
but let me just say this. 

1127
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:42,600
If a situation is constantly 
negative, if it's dishonouring 

1128
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:45,560
God, or if it's even pulling you
down, you're not obligated to 

1129
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:48,800
stay in it. 
OK, the most classic passage for

1130
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:50,680
this is First Corinthians. 
Be not deceived. 

1131
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,280
Evil communications corrupt good
manners. 

1132
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,040
It's simple, so stay away from 
that. 

1133
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:59,160
Practically try to redirect the 
conversation first. 

1134
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:01,840
If it continues and they don't 
want to listen, just step away. 

1135
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:07,720
Guard your heart, overstaying, 
socially connected, guarding 

1136
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:10,200
your hearts way more important 
than connectivity social wise. 

1137
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:11,720
I think it's really, really 
important. 

1138
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:13,680
So how do you know when to step 
back? 

1139
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:15,160
Because that can be a difficult 
thing, right? 

1140
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:18,240
You stay when you're influencing
others towards God, if they're 

1141
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:19,520
listening, going, yeah, you're 
right. 

1142
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:21,080
I really mean to do you know 
what? 

1143
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,680
Look, if you're spiritually 
strong in the situation and 

1144
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,200
you're influencing people, stay 
in it. 

1145
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,200
It will revitalize you. 
It will encourage you, but you 

1146
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:31,440
step back when you're being 
drained constantly or sin is 

1147
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,560
being normalized around you. 
If they're normalizing sin 

1148
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:37,200
around you, just get away. 
It's it's, it's terrible. 

1149
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:39,280
And here's the other thing. 
If it's affecting your marriage,

1150
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,320
your kids, or your walk, walk 
away from it. 

1151
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:45,720
In our men's Bible study, men in
the small groups are not allowed

1152
01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:49,960
to talk negatively about their 
wives because we know it affects

1153
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,000
other marriages. 
We don't let that happen. 

1154
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:55,840
It's it's just they get 
admonished and then they're not 

1155
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:57,720
allowed back in the group if 
they continue to do that. 

1156
01:03:57,720 --> 01:03:58,840
Why? 
Because I don't want other men 

1157
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,280
thinking the same way about 
their wives. 

1158
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:04,080
So the bottom line is really 
simple, OK, You're not called to

1159
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,960
absorb everybody's dysfunction. 
You're not called to fix every 

1160
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:08,920
broken relationship. 
You're not called to stay in 

1161
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:12,520
harmful situations. 
All of those things will, will 

1162
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,320
just completely tear at you. 
But what you are called to do, 

1163
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:17,440
and perhaps this is the more 
important thing to be focusing 

1164
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:20,600
on because the Bible tells us to
put off things and then it tells

1165
01:04:20,600 --> 01:04:22,960
us to put on instead. 
So this is what you want to put 

1166
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:26,320
put on, you want to walk in 
truth, you want to be, you want 

1167
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:28,560
to be filled with wisdom in the 
way that you love people and you

1168
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:30,360
need to protect what God has 
entrusted to you. 

1169
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:34,400
It's really, really simple. 
You know, healthy Christianity 

1170
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,400
is never going to be passive 
ever. 

1171
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:39,600
It's never passive. 
It's always wise, it's always 

1172
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:42,400
discerning, it's always 
intentional and it's always 

1173
01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:46,040
obedient, always, every single 
time because the Bible tells us 

1174
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:49,480
that. 
So more questions, but I think I

1175
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,880
think we tackle them. 
No, I mean, and it's one of 

1176
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:58,520
those things too where not not 
having my husband puts it even 

1177
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:02,440
more into perspective of like, 
why would you want to talk trash

1178
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,880
about your husband to other 
people? 

1179
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:12,520
Like I never ever talked about 
Charlie to other people for a 

1180
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:15,960
multitude of reasons, one being 
I just love him so much. 

1181
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:20,520
That and, and if I had anything 
to say about him, I would just 

1182
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:21,640
say it to him. 
Like we would have a 

1183
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:23,720
conversation if there was 
something that I really had to 

1184
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:28,240
say. 
But I, I just loved him so much 

1185
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:35,320
that no one deserved to know any
of his private emotions or 

1186
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:39,880
private conversations or that 
bond as a married couple is so 

1187
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:45,240
sacred and to feel the need to 
bash on it. 

1188
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:48,760
You're also bashing on yourself 
like you guys are now one you 

1189
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:52,040
guys and you guys are a team. 
You've made a covenant with the 

1190
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:54,640
Lord. 
So you insulting him is also 

1191
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:57,000
insulting yourself and also 
insulting the Lord. 

1192
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,400
And if, if there is an issue to 
be had, you know, air it out 

1193
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:02,960
with your husband. 
But if you're just gossiping to 

1194
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:06,800
your girlfriends about things 
that your husband does or things

1195
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:11,360
that you know, it's just, it's 
quite frankly, it's, I think 

1196
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:13,560
that's even just kind of not a 
lot. 

1197
01:06:13,560 --> 01:06:17,160
I mean a lot aside from being 
trashy, just kind of sinful. 

1198
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:21,920
Just why are you the man that 
the Lord brought into your life 

1199
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:26,960
to love you and to protect you? 
And you're just complaining 

1200
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:30,360
about him and you're so blessed 
to still have him. 

1201
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:32,920
You know, like I don't have 
Charlie. 

1202
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,840
I, I have him in my heart. 
I have him in videos and 

1203
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:39,040
everything like that. 
But like you're blessed to have 

1204
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:42,120
your husband, like I don't 
complain about them. 

1205
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:48,040
You, you made this covenant with
the Lord and just, I don't know,

1206
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:50,680
just don't, don't take things 
for granted. 

1207
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:54,160
Yeah, Amen, Amen. 
You are, you are a great example

1208
01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:56,400
in that area. 
And I get I got to see that 

1209
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,360
first hand. 
You're you're it's it's a 

1210
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:02,080
blessing. 
It was a big blessing to see how

1211
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:05,680
the Lord used the both of you to
cause each other to grow in big 

1212
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:07,000
ways. 
You know, I, I, I think about 

1213
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:10,000
this with my wife all the time. 
You know, when I, when I first 

1214
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:15,920
met my wife, I had no idea how 
much she would end up blessing 

1215
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:19,600
me. 
The church, our church would not

1216
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:22,760
be where it is. 
It has grown immensely. 

1217
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:24,440
Pray for us. 
By the way, we're, we're, we're,

1218
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:26,080
we're very close to buying a new
building. 

1219
01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:30,240
It's a, it's an amazing thing, 
but, but we grew immensely and 

1220
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,320
it was because of the 
contribution of my wife. 

1221
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:36,960
Like if it wasn't for Nicole, 
the church would not be where it

1222
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:39,240
is. 
And I, and I see the same thing 

1223
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:42,240
with Charlie. 
I, I watched super growth happen

1224
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:44,480
when you and Charlie got 
married. 

1225
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:47,120
It was amazing. 
Like it was just like almost 

1226
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:50,000
overnight. 
And God used you in a huge way. 

1227
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,160
And I don't want to overstep any
boundaries, but God used you in 

1228
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:58,400
the same way God used my Nicole 
to totally minister to me and 

1229
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,280
cause the church to grow. 
And the church knows it by the 

1230
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:01,760
way, you know, everybody in the 
church knows it. 

1231
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:05,040
You know, like I changed when I 
married my beautiful bride 10 

1232
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:07,800
years ago. 
You know, and, and I think that 

1233
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:12,480
it's very obvious, very obvious 
the change in both of you when 

1234
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:15,680
you got married and to see the 
change in even the organization 

1235
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:20,479
that if, if it wasn't for you 
and God using you and being the 

1236
01:08:20,479 --> 01:08:24,359
most important voice in his ear 
besides the Lord, you wouldn't 

1237
01:08:24,359 --> 01:08:26,760
see the kind of growth that you 
saw at turning point. 

1238
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,479
And I think God does that. 
He does that in a very special 

1239
01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:31,399
way. 
And, and I, I for one, am 

1240
01:08:31,399 --> 01:08:33,720
thankful that the Lord uses the 
marriage relationship to do 

1241
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:34,760
that. 
I think it's very special. 

1242
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:36,760
Amen. 
I totally agree. 

1243
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:43,240
This next questions on on brand,
but Kate put a very big 

1244
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:46,920
disclaimer in front of it. 
Make sure that I read it first 

1245
01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:51,240
before saying it. 
But this question is from 

1246
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:55,279
Christina. 
She says I am a widow and I get 

1247
01:08:55,279 --> 01:08:58,640
very confused at what the Bible 
says versus my heart. 

1248
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:02,680
People have told me my husband 
can't see me from heaven, yet I 

1249
01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:05,520
feel he does and things have 
happened where I know it was 

1250
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:08,680
him. 
However, if he does see me, 

1251
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:13,120
wouldn't he be sad when I'm sad?
I know I'll see my husband again

1252
01:09:13,120 --> 01:09:15,240
one day. 
And the Bible says there will be

1253
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,760
no marriage in heaven. 
So what will be? 

1254
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:24,040
What will we be to each other? 
OK, boy, there that one. 

1255
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:28,920
There was a lot to address 
there, and for a lot of reasons.

1256
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:34,040
OK, first of all, can loved ones
in heaven see us? 

1257
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:39,359
There's no clear teaching about 
what that looks like. 

1258
01:09:39,640 --> 01:09:43,000
We we read the fact that God 
will wipe away our tears one 

1259
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:44,520
day. 
But what are those tears from? 

1260
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:48,240
Are those tears from the 
happiness that we experience in 

1261
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:49,960
knowing that we're in heaven 
where we are? 

1262
01:09:49,960 --> 01:09:52,240
Or are they from what what they 
see on earth? 

1263
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:58,600
Like there's, there are certain 
things we don't know, but but we

1264
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:03,360
see passages in the Book of 
Revelation, for example, that 

1265
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:07,920
give us an indicator that people
can see some of the things that 

1266
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:11,160
are going on. 
So there's, there's too much 

1267
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:13,920
ambiguity to speak 
authoritatively on that. 

1268
01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:18,200
There's no direct verse that 
says your husband is observing 

1269
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:20,480
your daily life. 
We just don't, we just don't 

1270
01:10:20,480 --> 01:10:21,520
know. 
OK. 

1271
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:24,360
But what we do know is, is 
important. 

1272
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:27,480
And we have to understand the 
context of what's important. 

1273
01:10:27,480 --> 01:10:31,120
OK Heaven is a place of complete
joy and peace. 

1274
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:33,960
Revelation 21. 
It's one of my favorite passages

1275
01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:36,640
that speak about heaven. 
It says, and God and I just 

1276
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:39,160
shared it. 
And God shall wipe away all 

1277
01:10:39,160 --> 01:10:42,560
tears from their eyes and there 
shall be no more death, neither 

1278
01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:45,600
sorrow nor crying, neither shall
there be any more pain. 

1279
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:47,840
For the former things are passed
away. 

1280
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:51,640
Now I believe that at that point
it will be the end of the world 

1281
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:54,920
and we're going to see a time 
period that's all gone and we're

1282
01:10:54,920 --> 01:10:57,680
all going to be with our with 
our loved ones. 

1283
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:02,520
OK, so if your husband were 
watching you suffer in real 

1284
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:05,320
time, I think that would 
introduce sorrow and grief, 

1285
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:07,760
which the Bible says is not 
present there. 

1286
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:11,880
So biblically, it's probably 
safest to say that we have no 

1287
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:13,440
evidence that he is watching 
you. 

1288
01:11:13,480 --> 01:11:16,080
That's not a bad thing, but we 
just don't know. 

1289
01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:22,560
OK, Now let let me address the 
subject where it says I feel 

1290
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:25,680
like it's him. 
You know, things have happened. 

1291
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:32,680
Look, feelings and experiences 
can be very real emotionally, 

1292
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:37,480
OK, But they're never going to 
be a reliable source of truth, 

1293
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:40,800
OK? 
The the Bible doesn't teach that

1294
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:45,000
loved ones communicate with us 
after death or sends signs to 

1295
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,440
us. 
Now let me tell you what's true.

1296
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:48,200
This is where it's really 
beautiful, OK? 

1297
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:52,480
God comforts you. 
God can give you peace. 

1298
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:56,720
God is present in your grief. 
He always will be OK. 

1299
01:11:57,480 --> 01:12:01,760
What I think God does in the 
beauty of what you had and what 

1300
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:05,720
you continue to have is He 
allows circumstances to take 

1301
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:11,120
place in your life that remind 
you not that your husband is 

1302
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:14,840
intervening, but remind you that
he's got your husband right now.

1303
01:12:15,440 --> 01:12:18,400
Remind you of the fact that he's
caring for your husband and that

1304
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:23,040
as your husband is enjoying the 
wonder of everything that exists

1305
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:26,640
in heaven, God is watching you 
in His stead. 

1306
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:30,320
So when you look at things and 
you say, I just feel like my 

1307
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:33,560
husband knows he's, I see signs 
or whatever, it's actually 

1308
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:37,680
better than that. 
Your husband knows that God is 

1309
01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:42,240
watching over his precious wife,
and God is giving you signs that

1310
01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:46,160
that's happening. 
So you have to think about this.

1311
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:48,560
You know, would he be sad if 
you're sad? 

1312
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:51,160
Well, look, no, because he's in 
heaven. 

1313
01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:53,480
He's not in a place of ongoing 
sorrow. 

1314
01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:56,400
He doesn't see it. 
He's experiencing the reward of 

1315
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:58,000
everything. 
He's in the presence of God. 

1316
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,680
He's experiencing the fullness 
of joy. 

1317
01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:04,840
And God is doing this work of 
comforting in your heart in a 

1318
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:07,520
way that makes you feel like 
it's your husband because God is

1319
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:10,200
comforting you to tell you he's 
now you're covering. 

1320
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:14,760
Yeah, that's such a painful 
thing to to try to describe it, 

1321
01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:17,520
because loss is painful and it's
really, really hard. 

1322
01:13:17,520 --> 01:13:19,320
Now, will you know each other in
heaven? 

1323
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:21,440
Yes. 
I don't believe you won't. 

1324
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:26,520
I believe there is a very strong
series of indications that we 

1325
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:29,320
will know each other in heaven. 
If you don't believe me, just 

1326
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:33,040
read about the transfiguration. 
The disciples recognized who 

1327
01:13:33,040 --> 01:13:35,200
Moses and Elijah were. 
They knew it immediately. 

1328
01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:38,200
So you're going to know him and 
he's going to know you. 

1329
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,240
You know, Jesus talked about the
issue of marriage in heaven. 

1330
01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:42,560
And by the way, this should 
encourage you. 

1331
01:13:43,080 --> 01:13:46,120
Anybody who's a widow should 
love this passage. 

1332
01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:50,360
I love this. 
Matthew 2230. 

1333
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:55,200
When he's speaking to the 
Pharisees, he says for in the 

1334
01:13:55,200 --> 01:14:00,240
resurrection they neither marry 
nor are given to marriage, but 

1335
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:04,480
are as the angels of God in 
heaven, meaning marriage as an 

1336
01:14:04,480 --> 01:14:08,640
institution in its existence on 
earth ends. 

1337
01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:12,040
But that does not mean the 
relationship disappears. 

1338
01:14:13,480 --> 01:14:17,280
What it means is the role and 
structure of marriage actually 

1339
01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:19,280
changes and what exists in 
heaven. 

1340
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:21,720
What I believe is that it's even
better. 

1341
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:26,960
In other words, what you had on 
this earth that was so wonderful

1342
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:30,800
changes so substantively when 
you're in heaven that it 

1343
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,800
actually is so beautiful because
I actually believe that husbands

1344
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,240
present their wives before the 
Lord. 

1345
01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:37,760
You see that? 
You see an example. 

1346
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:39,400
So what does remain? 
What remains? 

1347
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:41,640
What we know this for sure, 
relationships remain. 

1348
01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:43,880
God didn't say that relationship
is broken. 

1349
01:14:44,560 --> 01:14:47,920
Recognition that that remains. 
Connections even remain. 

1350
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:51,400
All of those things are still 
there, OK, especially the 

1351
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:56,840
connection side. 
So look, it's it's not husband 

1352
01:14:56,840 --> 01:15:00,640
and wife like in the earthly 
sense, but it's perfectly, 

1353
01:15:00,720 --> 01:15:05,360
there's this perfect union that 
you now have in Christ that I 

1354
01:15:05,360 --> 01:15:08,360
believe is the fulfillment of 
what could not be achieved on 

1355
01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:11,160
earth. 
So what you couldn't achieve on 

1356
01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:16,120
earth with pain and loss and 
separation now gets reconciled. 

1357
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:20,240
So the relationship, believe it 
or not, becomes better, not 

1358
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:22,480
less. 
We assume that it becomes less 

1359
01:15:22,480 --> 01:15:24,720
because Jesus says it's not like
marriage on this earth. 

1360
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:27,320
That's a terrible assumption to 
make. 

1361
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:31,920
I actually believe that the 
relationship becomes better and 

1362
01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:34,880
more significant because 
everything is made complete in 

1363
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:36,120
God. 
The Bible actually tells us 

1364
01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:40,200
that. 
So look, your hope is not in the

1365
01:15:40,200 --> 01:15:43,880
signs that you feel or the 
feelings themselves or the 

1366
01:15:43,880 --> 01:15:46,240
experiences. 
Now God uses that sometimes, 

1367
01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:49,800
right? 
You're hoping what God is like, 

1368
01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:51,880
literally, it's in what God has 
promised you. 

1369
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,160
So God's giving you these 
promises. 

1370
01:15:54,280 --> 01:15:57,480
That's where your hope is. 
Look, you are going to see him 

1371
01:15:57,480 --> 01:15:59,920
again. 
You will know him and you will 

1372
01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,920
know him in a better way. 
And here's the best part about 

1373
01:16:02,920 --> 01:16:05,520
it. 
You will know him without any 

1374
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:10,160
kind of pain, any confusion, 
any, any loss at all. 

1375
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:14,000
I just think this is this is 
just beautiful. 

1376
01:16:14,760 --> 01:16:18,240
Look, the Bible doesn't support 
the idea that he's watching you 

1377
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:19,760
now. 
But do you really want him 

1378
01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:22,520
watching you now? 
You want God watching you right 

1379
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:24,760
now. 
You want the one who can see all

1380
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:26,920
and know everything and act as 
the mediator. 

1381
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:30,120
That's what you want. 
It does strongly support this. 

1382
01:16:30,440 --> 01:16:33,800
He is literally in perfect 
peace. 

1383
01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:37,720
You know the, the, the day that 
your husband went to go be with 

1384
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:40,680
the Lord, he heard it well done,
good and faithful servant. 

1385
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:43,240
He entered into the joy. 
And here's the best part about 

1386
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:45,560
this. 
You're going to be reunited with

1387
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:49,840
your husband one day and your 
relationship will be whole in a 

1388
01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:53,880
way that is even greater than 
anything you've ever experienced

1389
01:16:53,880 --> 01:16:55,880
here. 
That right now I can tell you, I

1390
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:57,840
can prove it beyond a shout of a
doubt. 

1391
01:16:58,080 --> 01:17:02,440
It's better, not worse. 
So the the idea of wanting to be

1392
01:17:02,440 --> 01:17:05,520
reunited with your husband may 
be the single most glorious 

1393
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:08,360
emotion that you're experiencing
because you know, in your 

1394
01:17:08,360 --> 01:17:11,080
reunification with your husband 
in heaven, it will be like 

1395
01:17:11,080 --> 01:17:13,640
something you've never 
experienced on this earth. 

1396
01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:17,400
And it's going to be so much 
better beyond your ability to be

1397
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:20,520
able to functionally articulate 
the glory of that moment. 

1398
01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:22,040
Because Paul couldn't even do 
this. 

1399
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:24,440
It's illegal for me to speak of 
what I'm seeing up here in Evan,

1400
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:26,640
and I believe that that applies 
to the marriage relationship. 

1401
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:29,360
That's beautiful. 
It's really well put. 

1402
01:17:30,880 --> 01:17:33,800
Our next question, I just have 
to step out really quick and 

1403
01:17:33,800 --> 01:17:35,560
then I'm come back. 
So if you finish this question, 

1404
01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,600
go to patients right after right
under this. 

1405
01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:41,200
But it's an anonymous question. 
I was just reading the scripture

1406
01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:43,560
about the blessing of Ephraim 
and Manasseh. 

1407
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:45,920
And I'm wondering does this 
still happen today? 

1408
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:49,280
And if yes, how would you go 
about getting a blessing for 

1409
01:17:49,280 --> 01:17:56,200
your children? 
OK, by the by the blessing of 

1410
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:59,440
Ephraim and Manasseh I, I assume
that what you're probably 

1411
01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:05,080
talking about is Genesis 48 and 
and and into 49. 

1412
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:07,280
I assume that's that's what the 
question is. 

1413
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:09,360
So let's just talk about this, 
OK? 

1414
01:18:09,680 --> 01:18:14,200
Jacob, he becomes Israel, gives 
a formal blessing to all of 

1415
01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:15,640
Joseph's sons. 
OK. 

1416
01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:17,720
Now this is of course, Ephraim 
and Manasseh. 

1417
01:18:17,720 --> 01:18:20,280
Ephraim being the younger one, 
Manasseh, of course, being the 

1418
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:23,160
older 1. 
So he intentionally crosses his 

1419
01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:24,920
hands as he's going to bless 
them. 

1420
01:18:25,120 --> 01:18:26,960
And of course it would make 
sense that Jacob would do this 

1421
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:29,880
because Jacob was the younger 
who got the greater blessing. 

1422
01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:33,480
And and you know, Esau should 
have gotten the greater 

1423
01:18:33,480 --> 01:18:34,960
blessing, but he got the lesser 
blessing. 

1424
01:18:35,160 --> 01:18:38,880
So it would make sense that 
Jacob goes to both Ephraim and 

1425
01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:41,080
Manasseh. 
Ephraim being the younger who 

1426
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:43,520
gets the greater blessing, 
Manasseh being the older who 

1427
01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:45,680
gets the later blessing. 
The Bible says he crossed his 

1428
01:18:45,680 --> 01:18:49,800
hands and he made that look. 
I think that that was a 

1429
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:52,040
prophetic very spirit LED 
blessing. 

1430
01:18:52,040 --> 01:18:55,640
It was also tied to some very 
covenant promises that were 

1431
01:18:55,640 --> 01:18:57,840
specific to Israel. 
That's very important to be able

1432
01:18:57,840 --> 01:19:00,640
to understand it. 
Now, does this kind of blessing 

1433
01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:03,680
still happen today? 
Well, not in the same way. 

1434
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,680
OK. 
That was a unique very 

1435
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:10,000
covenantal prophetic moment, 
right? 

1436
01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:15,880
It carried a a very serious and 
important national and tribal 

1437
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:18,760
implication that by the way 
carries into today with respect 

1438
01:19:18,760 --> 01:19:22,280
to Israel. 
The principle does carry over. 

1439
01:19:22,400 --> 01:19:25,800
You can carry the principle over
with this and parents speaking 

1440
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:29,560
blessing over their children. 
I, I don't think is something 

1441
01:19:29,560 --> 01:19:31,800
that's a negotiable. 
I think it's absolutely 

1442
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:33,720
biblical, like you should be 
doing it. 

1443
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:36,240
Now we see the biblical pattern 
in this, right? 

1444
01:19:36,560 --> 01:19:40,040
There is a biblical pattern for 
blessing your children, speaking

1445
01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:42,440
life and truth over them. 
One of my favorite passages to 

1446
01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:44,240
think about this is Proverbs 
chapter 18. 

1447
01:19:44,560 --> 01:19:47,040
Death and life are in the power 
of the tongue, and they that 

1448
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,640
love it shall eat of the fruit 
thereof. 

1449
01:19:49,840 --> 01:19:52,360
Now I'm not saying that this is 
a positive confession where you 

1450
01:19:52,360 --> 01:19:54,000
speak to your wallet, you going 
to get paid. 

1451
01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:57,200
That's not what I'm saying. 
What I'm saying is you use the 

1452
01:19:57,200 --> 01:20:00,280
mouth to do what Proverbs says, 
and that's train up the child in

1453
01:20:00,280 --> 01:20:03,280
the way that he should go. 
And when he's old, what's going 

1454
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:04,760
to happen? 
He's not going to depart from 

1455
01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:06,360
it. 
So you can train them. 

1456
01:20:06,520 --> 01:20:08,480
You can speak life and truth 
into them. 

1457
01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:11,800
And perhaps the most important 
thing is what comes out of your 

1458
01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:15,280
mouth for a blessing is most 
accountable in prayer, that if 

1459
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:17,720
you're praying for them 
constantly, you will bless them.

1460
01:20:17,720 --> 01:20:19,160
I am a recipient of this, by the
way. 

1461
01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:22,040
I'm a recipient of a mom who did
this for me day in and day out. 

1462
01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:25,120
And So what is blessing your 
children look like today? 

1463
01:20:25,120 --> 01:20:26,960
That's. 
That's the critical question, 

1464
01:20:26,960 --> 01:20:33,320
OK, First of all, it's not a 
ritual, OK? 

1465
01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:36,480
And when I say that, meaning 
it's not the kind of ritual that

1466
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:39,720
you see in Genesis chapter 48, I
think it's a lifestyle. 

1467
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:43,960
I think there's an intentional 
action that involves a level of 

1468
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:46,320
consistency that you cannot walk
away from. 

1469
01:20:46,320 --> 01:20:47,800
OK. 
You have to pray over them 

1470
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:49,560
regularly. 
That's part of the Ephraim and 

1471
01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:53,000
Manasseh type of blessing. 
You have to speak, I believe 

1472
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:56,320
God's promises over their life. 
Now, this is more experiential. 

1473
01:20:56,320 --> 01:20:58,000
I think you can support it 
biblically. 

1474
01:20:58,240 --> 01:21:00,480
But my mom used to tell me all 
the time, even when I wasn't 

1475
01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:02,560
walking with the Lord. 
One day you're going to be a 

1476
01:21:02,560 --> 01:21:05,240
pastor, James. 
God told me you're going to be a

1477
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,120
pastor. 
She used to say that to me all 

1478
01:21:07,120 --> 01:21:10,160
the time. 
I thought she was crazy, but she

1479
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:12,640
said it and I'm so blessed by 
that. 

1480
01:21:12,880 --> 01:21:16,120
And then it says this, this is 
like, like important, the laying

1481
01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:18,480
on of hands. 
We do this, we're told to do 

1482
01:21:18,480 --> 01:21:19,640
this. 
Even in the New Testament we're 

1483
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:21,400
told to do this. 
So you lay hands on your 

1484
01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:24,600
children, you ask God to guide 
and protect and use them and you

1485
01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:27,840
encourage them in one identity, 
only one identity. 

1486
01:21:27,840 --> 01:21:29,000
It's the most important 
identity. 

1487
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:32,600
That's their identity in Christ.
Like Lord, I, I love you. 

1488
01:21:33,960 --> 01:21:37,480
I, I want my child to love you. 
Help them to understand all that

1489
01:21:37,480 --> 01:21:39,200
they have in you. 
And by the way, there's no 

1490
01:21:39,200 --> 01:21:41,200
special formula, OK? 
I'm just going to say that right

1491
01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:43,960
now you don't do like it. 
Like there's not some ceremony 

1492
01:21:43,960 --> 01:21:47,520
or some special position you 
give them or, or, or even, dare 

1493
01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:49,640
I even say, like some unique 
prophetic moment. 

1494
01:21:49,640 --> 01:21:51,000
It, it, it doesn't work that 
way. 

1495
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,880
The only thing that matters is 
that you're walking with the 

1496
01:21:52,880 --> 01:21:55,080
Lord and that you're pointing 
your children to him. 

1497
01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:56,800
That's super, super important, 
OK? 

1498
01:21:56,840 --> 01:21:59,440
Remember this, and this is 
important, OK? 

1499
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:02,280
The one thing you're not doing 
is you're not declaring your 

1500
01:22:02,280 --> 01:22:04,560
future in like some weird 
mystical sense. 

1501
01:22:04,760 --> 01:22:06,200
You're not controlling your 
destiny. 

1502
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:08,240
What you're doing is you're 
entrusting their future to the 

1503
01:22:08,240 --> 01:22:12,160
Lord and for it. 
So this exact type of blessing 

1504
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:15,320
in Genesis 48 was unique to 
that, to that time, I want to 

1505
01:22:15,320 --> 01:22:18,920
say it's 48, either 48 or 49. 
But today, parents should 

1506
01:22:18,960 --> 01:22:21,880
absolutely bless their children.
We should be doing this on a 

1507
01:22:21,880 --> 01:22:23,600
regular basis, but we do it 
through prayer. 

1508
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:25,640
We do it through raising up 
through teaching them. 

1509
01:22:25,640 --> 01:22:29,000
We do it through our godly 
influence and the most powerful 

1510
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:32,200
blessing that you can give them 
is living a life that points 

1511
01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:34,680
them to Christ every single day.
It's it's perhaps the most 

1512
01:22:34,680 --> 01:22:38,480
significant way to bless them. 
So with that said, that's what I

1513
01:22:38,480 --> 01:22:41,200
would say is the most important 
thing to walk away with. 

1514
01:22:41,440 --> 01:22:42,920
And it's a really, really good 
question. 

1515
01:22:43,640 --> 01:22:48,680
OK, here's the next one. 
This is from patients. 

1516
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:52,520
What is a list of questions that
couples should ask one another 

1517
01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:56,360
before marriage in order to 
ensure they are compatible? 

1518
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:02,880
Well, you know, I have to ask, I
have to ask Erica about this 

1519
01:23:02,880 --> 01:23:06,280
'cause I think Charlie wrote a 
book on this or was maybe in the

1520
01:23:06,680 --> 01:23:10,160
like in the process of writing a
book on this. 

1521
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:15,040
I have a premarital counseling 
program that I, I'm a very 

1522
01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:16,600
limited in me personally doing 
it. 

1523
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:20,120
I used to do it a lot, but I've 
taught a lot of my guys to do 

1524
01:23:20,120 --> 01:23:21,920
this and we ask hundreds of 
questions. 

1525
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:25,000
And I think there's a lot of 
very, very important questions 

1526
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:28,320
to be asking a lot of questions,
right? 

1527
01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:30,880
Because there's questions that 
you ask in your walk with God. 

1528
01:23:30,880 --> 01:23:32,560
Those are the non negotiable 
questions. 

1529
01:23:32,760 --> 01:23:34,760
You're going to ask questions 
about conflict resolution. 

1530
01:23:34,920 --> 01:23:37,120
You're going to ask questions 
about money and finances, 

1531
01:23:37,360 --> 01:23:40,000
children and parenting. 
There's a lot of questions. 

1532
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:42,160
Let me just like like quickly 
run through them. 

1533
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:46,000
And by the way, yes, many of 
these questions I have by memory

1534
01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:49,080
because I did this counseling 
for years and years and years 

1535
01:23:49,080 --> 01:23:51,280
and years. 
OK, Number one, are you both 

1536
01:23:51,280 --> 01:23:55,960
genuinely committed to the Lord 
and if you are, great. 

1537
01:23:55,960 --> 01:23:58,040
If not, who's really carrying 
the relationship? 

1538
01:23:58,040 --> 01:24:00,280
That's an important one. 
Do you personally spend time in 

1539
01:24:00,280 --> 01:24:02,200
the Word in prayer? 
That's a very, very important 

1540
01:24:02,200 --> 01:24:04,560
question to ask. 
What do you believe about major 

1541
01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:06,200
doctrines? 
You have to be lined up in a lot

1542
01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:07,480
of that stuff. 
If you don't lined up in a lot 

1543
01:24:07,480 --> 01:24:08,800
of that stuff, you're going to 
have a big problem. 

1544
01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:11,600
What does spiritual leadership 
look like to you? 

1545
01:24:11,760 --> 01:24:13,440
How important is church 
involvement? 

1546
01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,640
Those are the types of questions
that you're going to have to 

1547
01:24:15,640 --> 01:24:16,160
ask. 
Why? 

1548
01:24:16,160 --> 01:24:19,720
Because we look at passages like
Amos that says, can two walk 

1549
01:24:19,720 --> 01:24:20,960
together? 
Except they be agreed. 

1550
01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:23,360
You have to have the same kind 
of role, the same kind of 

1551
01:24:23,360 --> 01:24:26,080
vision, not role, the same kind 
of vision, the same kind of 

1552
01:24:26,080 --> 01:24:27,480
understanding. 
It's super important. 

1553
01:24:27,480 --> 01:24:30,400
Now, Speaking of roles, I, I 
shall probably mention this. 

1554
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:32,040
What does the husband's role 
look like? 

1555
01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:35,160
You should ask that question. 
They you should ask the wife. 

1556
01:24:35,280 --> 01:24:36,840
What does the husband's role 
look like? 

1557
01:24:36,840 --> 01:24:38,720
You should ask the husband what 
does your role look like? 

1558
01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:40,960
You have to ask what the wife's 
role looks like. 

1559
01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:43,440
Vice versa. 
What is the expectation? 

1560
01:24:43,560 --> 01:24:46,520
Who are the one who's the one 
that's leading and what, how are

1561
01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:49,400
the decisions even being made? 
What happens when you strongly 

1562
01:24:49,400 --> 01:24:51,480
disagree? 
What's the Court of Arbitration 

1563
01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:55,680
that you go to? 
How do you how do you resolve 

1564
01:24:55,680 --> 01:24:57,480
conflict? 
You know, how do you handle 

1565
01:24:57,480 --> 01:24:59,160
anger? 
How do you shut down? 

1566
01:25:00,400 --> 01:25:02,960
Do you explode? 
Do you communicate? 

1567
01:25:02,960 --> 01:25:05,080
Like what do you do? 
Are you willing to apologize? 

1568
01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:06,440
Are you willing to forgive 
quickly? 

1569
01:25:07,200 --> 01:25:10,200
You know, how are conflicts 
handled in your family when you 

1570
01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:11,960
were growing up? 
You have to ask those types of 

1571
01:25:11,960 --> 01:25:14,200
questions. 
You know, are you a spender or 

1572
01:25:14,200 --> 01:25:16,000
you a saver? 
That's a money question. 

1573
01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:18,320
Do you have debt? 
How will you budget? 

1574
01:25:18,360 --> 01:25:19,440
How are you going to spend the 
money? 

1575
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:22,280
How will you combine finances? 
You know, what are your 

1576
01:25:22,280 --> 01:25:24,600
financial goals? 
What assets do you have? 

1577
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:27,120
There's a lot of those questions
that you want to ask parenting, 

1578
01:25:27,120 --> 01:25:29,480
probably one of the most 
important set of questions to be

1579
01:25:29,480 --> 01:25:31,080
asked. 
Do you want kids? 

1580
01:25:31,200 --> 01:25:34,160
If you do, how many? 
How will you know you discipline

1581
01:25:34,160 --> 01:25:35,760
them? 
What are your views on 

1582
01:25:35,760 --> 01:25:37,520
education? 
How are you going to educate 

1583
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:38,520
them? 
I hope it's homeschool. 

1584
01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:41,560
You know what values are most 
important to pass on. 

1585
01:25:41,680 --> 01:25:43,680
Those are all very, very 
important questions. 

1586
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:47,200
Family boundaries. 
Another great question to be 

1587
01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:49,720
asking, how involved will 
extended family be? 

1588
01:25:49,840 --> 01:25:52,840
What are your limitations in 
discussing conflicts that you 

1589
01:25:52,840 --> 01:25:54,120
have with your husband or your 
wife? 

1590
01:25:54,280 --> 01:25:55,840
Are you allowed to go to your 
mother-in-law? 

1591
01:25:55,840 --> 01:25:57,800
The quick answer to that is no, 
you're not right. 

1592
01:25:59,360 --> 01:26:01,320
What happens if family members 
interfere? 

1593
01:26:01,440 --> 01:26:03,280
Are you willing to set 
boundaries to protect your 

1594
01:26:03,280 --> 01:26:04,640
marriage? 
Are husbands willing to tell 

1595
01:26:04,640 --> 01:26:06,640
their moms you can't talk right 
now? 

1596
01:26:06,640 --> 01:26:08,760
This is me and my wife, you 
know. 

1597
01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:11,640
And remember, this is all based 
on Genesis chapter 2. 

1598
01:26:11,840 --> 01:26:14,160
Therefore, a man shall leave his
father and mother and do what 

1599
01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:16,720
shall cleave to his wife and 
they shall be 1 flesh. 

1600
01:26:16,920 --> 01:26:19,320
So you have to ask those 
questions, lifestyle questions. 

1601
01:26:19,320 --> 01:26:21,840
Those are big ones, right? 
Where do you feel God is calling

1602
01:26:21,840 --> 01:26:23,200
you long term? 
Like where are you gonna go? 

1603
01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:24,680
You both have to be aligned on 
that. 

1604
01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:26,480
Are you willing to relocate if 
needed? 

1605
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:29,040
What does your daily life look 
like? 

1606
01:26:29,400 --> 01:26:32,320
Like, What does that look like? 
Do you communicate openly to 

1607
01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:35,680
avoid hard conversations, or do 
you just simply run away from 

1608
01:26:35,680 --> 01:26:38,160
hard conversations? 
How do you prefer to give and 

1609
01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:39,920
receive feedback? 
Like, how do you want to talk to

1610
01:26:39,920 --> 01:26:41,560
one another? 
Are you willing to grow in 

1611
01:26:41,560 --> 01:26:44,320
communication? 
This is a big one, right? 

1612
01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:46,880
And I know that this sounds a 
little like this is edgy. 

1613
01:26:47,040 --> 01:26:48,600
You have to ask questions about 
sex. 

1614
01:26:49,240 --> 01:26:52,080
OK, What are your expectations 
about intimacy in marriage? 

1615
01:26:52,080 --> 01:26:54,720
What does that look like? 
You know, are there any past 

1616
01:26:54,720 --> 01:26:56,360
struggles that you have to 
address? 

1617
01:26:56,480 --> 01:26:59,920
Were you stuck in pornography? 
There's a lot of these things 

1618
01:26:59,920 --> 01:27:02,520
that have to be looked at 
because if you were stuck in 

1619
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:05,880
there, I almost always in 
premarital counseling, I stop at

1620
01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:09,160
that moment and I work through 
some big issues in that context 

1621
01:27:09,160 --> 01:27:11,800
because it can dramatically 
affect the way your relationship

1622
01:27:11,800 --> 01:27:16,360
goes in the future. 
Are you committed to to purity 

1623
01:27:16,360 --> 01:27:18,200
in the marriage? 
Meaning will you refrain from 

1624
01:27:18,200 --> 01:27:21,240
having sex or doing anything 
even remotely resembling sex 

1625
01:27:21,240 --> 01:27:22,800
with one another? 
Because if you're not willing to

1626
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:24,960
do that, don't get married 
because you're not going to 

1627
01:27:24,960 --> 01:27:26,400
sacrifice for one another, 
right? 

1628
01:27:26,640 --> 01:27:28,400
And then you have to ask 
yourself the question, what are 

1629
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:30,680
the like the deal Breakers? 
That's one of the big questions 

1630
01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:32,720
that I always ask when I do 
premarital counseling. 

1631
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:35,280
You know, is there anything that
you're, you know, unwilling to 

1632
01:27:35,280 --> 01:27:38,240
change or are there addictions 
or habits or patterns that that 

1633
01:27:38,240 --> 01:27:39,600
we have to sit down and talk 
about? 

1634
01:27:39,760 --> 01:27:41,640
You know, are you both 
teachable? 

1635
01:27:41,640 --> 01:27:44,080
Are you both correctable? 
You know, what is a deal 

1636
01:27:44,080 --> 01:27:45,520
breaker? 
What are the deal Breakers? 

1637
01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:49,680
You know, the big deal breaker 
that comes up could be the very 

1638
01:27:49,680 --> 01:27:52,640
thing that just completely 
destroys your marriage if you 

1639
01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:55,600
don't talk about it first. 
So there's a lot of other 

1640
01:27:55,880 --> 01:27:58,080
important things that you have 
to look at and they really are 

1641
01:27:58,080 --> 01:28:00,280
serious, right? 
You have to like talk about, you

1642
01:28:00,280 --> 01:28:02,520
know, interest, personality, 
chemistry. 

1643
01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:04,800
But that's not the compatibility
lesson, right? 

1644
01:28:04,800 --> 01:28:07,640
That just isn't the most 
important compatibility lesson 

1645
01:28:07,640 --> 01:28:09,960
is your values. 
Like what kind of values do you 

1646
01:28:09,960 --> 01:28:11,840
share? 
What kind of direction are you 

1647
01:28:11,840 --> 01:28:14,200
receiving? 
How are you submitting to God? 

1648
01:28:14,360 --> 01:28:17,040
I would, I would argue that you 
can't have a Catholic marrying 

1649
01:28:17,040 --> 01:28:19,160
somebody who's a honest and I 
don't think that works. 

1650
01:28:19,360 --> 01:28:21,800
I think you're going to have a 
very different idea on how kids 

1651
01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:25,720
get discipline. 
You can't have a Muslim marry a 

1652
01:28:25,720 --> 01:28:27,320
Christian. 
It, it just, it just doesn't 

1653
01:28:27,320 --> 01:28:30,560
work because you don't align. 
So the bottom line is you don't 

1654
01:28:30,560 --> 01:28:33,160
look, you don't need perfect 
agreement on everything, but you

1655
01:28:33,160 --> 01:28:36,200
must be aligned in the things 
that actually shape life. 

1656
01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:38,720
You, you like you. 
And, and the biggest question is

1657
01:28:38,720 --> 01:28:40,160
this, this is the most important
question. 

1658
01:28:40,560 --> 01:28:43,680
Are we both fully committed to 
God and willing to grow? 

1659
01:28:44,040 --> 01:28:47,200
Are we, are we fully committed 
to letting God speak to us to 

1660
01:28:47,200 --> 01:28:52,840
cause us to deny one another, 
deny ourselves for one another? 

1661
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:56,200
I do this the very first 
question, the very first 

1662
01:28:56,200 --> 01:28:58,640
statement that I make to people 
in premarital counseling and I 

1663
01:28:58,640 --> 01:29:00,240
am hard on people in premarital 
counseling. 

1664
01:29:00,720 --> 01:29:03,920
I say this right off the bat. 
I say this, are you prepared to 

1665
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,640
die? 
That's the first question that I

1666
01:29:05,640 --> 01:29:09,240
ask and what I mean to that, 
that's not some morbid, vulgar 

1667
01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:11,360
kind of a question. 
It's basically are you willing 

1668
01:29:11,360 --> 01:29:13,520
to die to self? 
If you can't die to self, you 

1669
01:29:13,520 --> 01:29:16,040
won't be ready for for for 
marriage. 

1670
01:29:16,080 --> 01:29:18,240
You just won't. 
You're you're, you're done in 

1671
01:29:18,240 --> 01:29:20,240
essence. 
So these are very important 

1672
01:29:20,240 --> 01:29:23,400
things, but those are the 
questions I would ask Erica, you

1673
01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:26,280
stepped away. 
Did did Charlie ever write that 

1674
01:29:26,280 --> 01:29:27,720
book on the questions to ask in 
marriage? 

1675
01:29:27,720 --> 01:29:28,960
I know that he was talking about
that. 

1676
01:29:29,120 --> 01:29:32,920
We were going to do it together.
No, he, he, he and I put 

1677
01:29:32,920 --> 01:29:37,880
together like a shared note of 
questions that him and I were 

1678
01:29:37,880 --> 01:29:40,680
thinking of, but it never got 
finished. 

1679
01:29:40,680 --> 01:29:44,440
But it's on my list to complete 
for him, so yeah. 

1680
01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:47,440
I hope I didn't like break the 
no. 

1681
01:29:47,600 --> 01:29:49,120
I don't know if there was no. 
Secrets. 

1682
01:29:49,120 --> 01:29:50,360
Whole thing that he told me. 
OK. 

1683
01:29:50,400 --> 01:29:51,320
No secrets here. 
I. 

1684
01:29:51,320 --> 01:29:53,480
Just thought about that. 
I'm like, oh man, did I just 

1685
01:29:53,480 --> 01:29:56,800
blow something? 
No, you didn't No, no, it's it's

1686
01:29:57,000 --> 01:30:02,640
it's a work in work in progress.
I we did get a YouTube question 

1687
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:06,800
that I think it's a actually 
really good one from the 

1688
01:30:06,800 --> 01:30:08,920
username. 
I am a Canadian. 

1689
01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:17,080
I am a Canadian mom. 
They asked would would praying 

1690
01:30:17,080 --> 01:30:21,080
the same thing over and over 
again mean lacking in faith and 

1691
01:30:21,080 --> 01:30:24,520
trust in God? 
Actually, especially if you feel

1692
01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:27,680
that a certain point, you feel 
God heard your prayer or trust 

1693
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:31,880
he heard it, that's. 
A really good question actually.

1694
01:30:32,480 --> 01:30:34,760
I mean, it's interesting because
I, the things that I 

1695
01:30:34,760 --> 01:30:37,520
consistently pray for is like, 
you know, you still, I still 

1696
01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:40,840
pray for my mom's healing. 
I still pray for my kids and 

1697
01:30:40,840 --> 01:30:43,520
their protection. 
So I think you can. 

1698
01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:47,760
I actually think the answer to, 
I think the answer to this is, 

1699
01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:51,240
is a little more complicated 
than people think, but it's very

1700
01:30:51,240 --> 01:30:53,040
practical and, and the answer is
really simple. 

1701
01:30:53,040 --> 01:30:56,880
Look, I go to Luke chapter 18. 
Luke says he's speaking a 

1702
01:30:56,880 --> 01:30:58,440
parable. 
That's what the Bible says, 

1703
01:30:58,440 --> 01:31:00,800
Jesus speaking a parable. 
We don't really completely know 

1704
01:31:01,200 --> 01:31:03,680
to that end what he's actually 
saying, but he says this. 

1705
01:31:03,680 --> 01:31:06,800
He says men ought always to pray
and not faint. 

1706
01:31:07,560 --> 01:31:10,960
We're not too faint now, the 
parable of the persistent widow.

1707
01:31:10,960 --> 01:31:12,680
That's the that's what they call
it, right? 

1708
01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:17,560
It shows that you keep asking 
and that you don't give up. 

1709
01:31:17,560 --> 01:31:20,760
That's that's what Jesus told 
the story of repetition could be

1710
01:31:20,760 --> 01:31:25,400
a sign of dependence upon God. 
It could be a sign of like, Oh, 

1711
01:31:25,400 --> 01:31:29,000
my brain just blanked 
persistence. 

1712
01:31:29,640 --> 01:31:32,000
It it, it can mean trust over 
time. 

1713
01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:34,080
OK. 
And and like that's a super, 

1714
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:36,200
super important thing. 
But look, there's a wrong kind 

1715
01:31:36,200 --> 01:31:37,720
of repetition. 
Jesus actually said it. 

1716
01:31:37,720 --> 01:31:40,960
He says when you pray, don't use
vain repetitions as the heathens

1717
01:31:40,960 --> 01:31:44,000
do, for they think that they 
shall be heard for such their 

1718
01:31:44,000 --> 01:31:45,480
speaking. 
So you don't want to do mine 

1719
01:31:45,480 --> 01:31:48,000
this repetition. 
And by the way, it's not a 

1720
01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:49,600
condemnation. 
Our Father who art in heaven, 

1721
01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:51,040
hallowed be thy name, thy 
Kingdom come, thy will be done 

1722
01:31:51,040 --> 01:31:53,320
on. 
It's not that because there's 

1723
01:31:53,320 --> 01:31:56,120
lots of mindless repetition 
prayers that I often times offer

1724
01:31:56,120 --> 01:31:57,640
that I have to stop myself from 
offering. 

1725
01:31:57,880 --> 01:31:59,920
Like it's the same prayer every 
single time. 

1726
01:32:00,080 --> 01:32:01,600
Lord God bless his fruit in the 
name of Jesus. 

1727
01:32:02,000 --> 01:32:04,760
You can say the same thing every
single time again, again and 

1728
01:32:04,760 --> 01:32:07,360
again and again. 
That's mindless repetition. 

1729
01:32:07,600 --> 01:32:10,320
In other words, you don't want 
to say the same words thinking 

1730
01:32:10,320 --> 01:32:11,640
that it earns some kind of 
favor. 

1731
01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:13,840
You know, Muslims do that quite 
a bit. 

1732
01:32:14,440 --> 01:32:18,600
Even the there are some Jewish 
populations that actually do 

1733
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:20,520
this. 
You don't want to treat prayer 

1734
01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:23,200
like a formula, OK? 
The difference is really simple.

1735
01:32:23,360 --> 01:32:25,440
Healthy repetition means it 
comes from the heart. 

1736
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:27,840
It's relational. 
You're trusting in God while 

1737
01:32:27,840 --> 01:32:30,200
you're continuing to ask it. 
That's beautiful. 

1738
01:32:30,440 --> 01:32:32,520
Look, one of the greatest 
examples that I can give of this

1739
01:32:32,520 --> 01:32:37,160
was my grandfather, who was a 
pastor in Egypt for 65 years. 

1740
01:32:37,560 --> 01:32:40,880
Every single day he was alive 
since he became a pastor, he 

1741
01:32:40,880 --> 01:32:45,000
prayed that somebody from his 
bloodline, a son or a grandson 

1742
01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:48,400
would become a pastor. 
And literally almost to the day 

1743
01:32:48,400 --> 01:32:51,760
that he went to go be with the 
Lord, I became a pastor or 

1744
01:32:51,760 --> 01:32:53,200
actually I started getting 
involved the ministry. 

1745
01:32:53,200 --> 01:32:55,560
I became a pastor, you know, 
roughly a year and a half later 

1746
01:32:55,560 --> 01:32:58,000
or something like that. 
So that's beautiful, you know, 

1747
01:32:58,000 --> 01:32:59,920
trusting in God while you 
continue to ask, you know, 

1748
01:32:59,920 --> 01:33:04,360
unhealthy repetition. 
That's where it's really, that's

1749
01:33:04,360 --> 01:33:05,480
where it can really get 
dangerous. 

1750
01:33:05,480 --> 01:33:07,440
Now what if you feel that God 
already heard you? 

1751
01:33:07,920 --> 01:33:10,360
OK, well, you can shift the 
prayer a little bit. 

1752
01:33:10,360 --> 01:33:11,920
You don't have to say the same 
exact prayer. 

1753
01:33:12,160 --> 01:33:15,360
You can just go from constant 
asking to trusting and and 

1754
01:33:15,360 --> 01:33:17,680
surrendering like Lord, thank 
you for answering. 

1755
01:33:17,680 --> 01:33:19,320
I believe this. 
How do you want me to you know 

1756
01:33:19,480 --> 01:33:24,320
you can you can change it so you
can move from like you know God,

1757
01:33:24,320 --> 01:33:27,960
please do this to Lord, I trust 
you with this or your will be 

1758
01:33:27,960 --> 01:33:29,000
done. 
You know what I mean like it 

1759
01:33:29,000 --> 01:33:31,360
like it's a little different. 
You're still carrying the same 

1760
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:34,520
relationship with it, but you're
thinking on a completely a 

1761
01:33:34,520 --> 01:33:36,400
different level. 
Now, we do have examples of 

1762
01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:38,680
people asking for the same thing
multiple times. 

1763
01:33:38,920 --> 01:33:41,240
My favorite example of this is 
Second Corinthians where Paul 

1764
01:33:41,240 --> 01:33:44,120
says, you know, for this thing, 
I besought the Lord thrice. 

1765
01:33:44,120 --> 01:33:45,760
He said three times and it might
depart from me. 

1766
01:33:45,760 --> 01:33:47,120
He's talking about the throne 
that was in his flesh. 

1767
01:33:47,440 --> 01:33:50,080
You know, then God answered him 
and he accepted the answer. 

1768
01:33:50,280 --> 01:33:52,600
You know, Hey, listen, Paul, my 
grace is sufficient for you. 

1769
01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:54,680
You're going to have to, you're 
going to have to live with it 

1770
01:33:54,680 --> 01:33:57,320
and, and Paul accepted it. 
So there's a practical balance, 

1771
01:33:57,320 --> 01:33:59,760
right? 
I think that for all intents and

1772
01:33:59,760 --> 01:34:02,040
purposes, in terms of 
practicality, you should keep 

1773
01:34:02,040 --> 01:34:03,520
praying when the burden is still
there. 

1774
01:34:03,520 --> 01:34:06,120
If God put it on your heart, 
heart clearly you should be 

1775
01:34:06,120 --> 01:34:08,000
praying. 
Or if you feel like God hasn't 

1776
01:34:08,000 --> 01:34:09,680
clearly answered, you keep 
going. 

1777
01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,520
You can shift your prayer if you
have peace that he's heard you 

1778
01:34:12,720 --> 01:34:15,320
or you started to repeat out of 
some kind of anxiety. 

1779
01:34:15,320 --> 01:34:17,320
Yeah, definitely change the the 
prayer. 

1780
01:34:17,440 --> 01:34:20,480
So that's what I would say. 
And I think it's a, it's a, it's

1781
01:34:20,480 --> 01:34:21,600
a great question. 
It's a really, really good 

1782
01:34:21,600 --> 01:34:23,480
question. 
Totally. 

1783
01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:29,320
Going back to our list, we have 
a question from Peggy. 

1784
01:34:30,480 --> 01:34:33,320
Could you answer if eating halal
meat is OK or not? 

1785
01:34:33,720 --> 01:34:36,520
I read that during slaughter 
they pray to Allah for a 

1786
01:34:36,520 --> 01:34:38,920
blessing. 
I have coworkers who cook 

1787
01:34:38,920 --> 01:34:41,240
delicious food and I've just 
learned about the slaughter 

1788
01:34:41,240 --> 01:34:43,600
process and would like to know 
the biblical answer. 

1789
01:34:44,160 --> 01:34:47,840
I'm assuming she's not Muslim so
I'm thinking she's like weirded 

1790
01:34:47,840 --> 01:34:51,160
out by the fact that this meat 
was blessed and dedicated to 

1791
01:34:51,160 --> 01:34:55,280
Allah instead of Jesus. 
So the guilt of eating the 

1792
01:34:55,400 --> 01:34:58,720
cooked lamb. 
And Speaking of somebody who my 

1793
01:34:58,720 --> 01:35:01,360
mom and dad were both born and 
raised in Egypt, and I'm very 

1794
01:35:01,360 --> 01:35:03,160
familiar with what happens in 
Islam and the. 

1795
01:35:03,160 --> 01:35:05,160
Yeah, yeah. 
I mean it. 

1796
01:35:06,640 --> 01:35:10,120
Really is so the concern is, you
know is this meat offer to 

1797
01:35:10,120 --> 01:35:13,680
another God and of course Allah 
is definitely another God. 

1798
01:35:13,680 --> 01:35:15,880
As a matter of fact, it's really
interesting little note on 

1799
01:35:15,880 --> 01:35:17,800
Allah. 
The Quran actually says what 

1800
01:35:17,800 --> 01:35:20,520
Makuru Makuru Allahu allahu al 
makarina, which basically in 

1801
01:35:20,520 --> 01:35:22,640
Arabic means that Allah is the 
chief of deceivers. 

1802
01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:24,600
Very interesting to read it that
way. 

1803
01:35:24,600 --> 01:35:28,640
I mean if, if, if their own 
Quran says well Makuru Makuru 

1804
01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:32,200
allahu allahu al makarina. 
I mean think about that. 

1805
01:35:32,200 --> 01:35:35,200
Their own Quran says that Allah 
is the chief of deceivers. 

1806
01:35:36,640 --> 01:35:39,160
Can I just ask you really like 
this might be a controversial 

1807
01:35:39,160 --> 01:35:44,680
question, but just out of 
curiosity, you know how, what 

1808
01:35:44,680 --> 01:35:47,440
are your thoughts on Christians 
reading the Quran? 

1809
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:52,400
Not because they want to 
convert, but just to be able to 

1810
01:35:52,400 --> 01:35:59,120
understand that to under. 
I don't know how to put it. 

1811
01:35:59,120 --> 01:36:00,840
Nicely, I know what you're 
saying. 

1812
01:36:00,960 --> 01:36:03,480
Stay away from it. 
That's what I think too. 

1813
01:36:04,040 --> 01:36:06,720
I had, I had someone recently be
like, I read it because I was 

1814
01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:09,520
trying to understand the enemies
that are against us. 

1815
01:36:09,520 --> 01:36:12,760
And I was just like, I don't 
really feel like it's a book 

1816
01:36:12,760 --> 01:36:15,000
that's similar to the Art of 
War. 

1817
01:36:15,000 --> 01:36:18,200
But do you know what I'm saying?
Like I just, if I'm going to 

1818
01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:20,960
spend my time reading something 
spiritual, I want it to be the 

1819
01:36:20,960 --> 01:36:23,520
Bible. 
But I I I understand the 

1820
01:36:23,520 --> 01:36:25,880
sentiment, but I'm just curious 
because I know because you've 

1821
01:36:25,880 --> 01:36:28,000
read it. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

1822
01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:32,280
I have a lot of memorized. 
OK, so so let me just simply say

1823
01:36:32,320 --> 01:36:37,080
this. 
The Quran is not even a reliable

1824
01:36:37,080 --> 01:36:38,960
book. 
OK, as a matter of fact, let me 

1825
01:36:38,960 --> 01:36:42,000
take this a step further. 
Any extent manuscripts that we 

1826
01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:45,800
have of the Quran date to the 
Ottoman Empire, you're talking 6

1827
01:36:45,800 --> 01:36:49,440
to 800 years after the existence
of even Mohammed. 

1828
01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:53,800
And even the hadith itself is 
already admitted by some of the 

1829
01:36:53,800 --> 01:36:57,360
greatest scholars in Islam to 
say that it does not speak of 

1830
01:36:57,360 --> 01:36:58,920
Muhammad. 
As a matter of fact, in the 

1831
01:36:58,920 --> 01:37:02,560
Quran itself there are 4 
mentions to what people believe 

1832
01:37:02,560 --> 01:37:05,400
is the name Muhammad and it's 
not Muhammad, it's Muhammad 

1833
01:37:05,560 --> 01:37:08,720
which means Blessed one and very
likely talking about Christ. 

1834
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:11,560
So it's interesting to think 
about the fact that there are 

1835
01:37:11,840 --> 01:37:18,840
90,090 thousand variants of the 
Quran as we understand them with

1836
01:37:18,840 --> 01:37:20,520
the exit manuscripts that 
exists. 

1837
01:37:20,800 --> 01:37:25,280
And it's a big problem. 
The scholars truly, truly are 

1838
01:37:25,280 --> 01:37:27,560
beginning to come out with the 
real facts that speak about it. 

1839
01:37:27,560 --> 01:37:31,040
So here's my thing. 
Why would you want to spend time

1840
01:37:31,240 --> 01:37:33,760
believing a false book? 
I want to take it a step 

1841
01:37:33,760 --> 01:37:36,440
further, and this is really, 
really important. 

1842
01:37:37,160 --> 01:37:42,040
Islam literally bets on the fact
that you're going to try to 

1843
01:37:42,040 --> 01:37:44,560
spend time familiarizing 
yourself with the Quran. 

1844
01:37:45,040 --> 01:37:48,640
And while you're doing that, it 
attacks the validity of the 

1845
01:37:48,640 --> 01:37:51,360
Bible. 
So if you want to learn how to 

1846
01:37:51,360 --> 01:37:55,120
better minister to a Muslim, get
to know the Bible so well that 

1847
01:37:55,120 --> 01:37:59,040
you have the answer ready to 
give to them when the lie comes 

1848
01:37:59,040 --> 01:38:00,560
forth, because that's what they 
do. 

1849
01:38:00,840 --> 01:38:04,280
Most Muslims will not defend the
Quran. 

1850
01:38:04,280 --> 01:38:08,480
They will attack the Bible. 
That's that's exactly how it 

1851
01:38:08,480 --> 01:38:11,560
works. 
Because if if you look, the 

1852
01:38:11,560 --> 01:38:13,800
Quran in many ways is 
indefensible. 

1853
01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:16,600
The problem is there's a lot of 
people that don't necessarily 

1854
01:38:16,600 --> 01:38:20,040
see that or recognize it, but it
absolutely is indefensible. 

1855
01:38:20,480 --> 01:38:23,120
It's very, very difficult. 
One of their greatest scholars 

1856
01:38:23,120 --> 01:38:27,440
in the, in the Islamic world, 
Yasser Qadi, who lives in in 

1857
01:38:27,440 --> 01:38:29,760
Texas, basically said that 
Mohammed wasn't real. 

1858
01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:34,520
He said that by basically saying
that the Hadith cannot be or the

1859
01:38:34,520 --> 01:38:37,600
historicity of the hadith cannot
be used functionally to 

1860
01:38:37,600 --> 01:38:41,960
establish the whatever extant 
manuscript that we have of it. 

1861
01:38:41,960 --> 01:38:45,560
It's impossible. 
So even the scholars are saying 

1862
01:38:45,560 --> 01:38:51,000
this, the honest ones. 
And so like, look, this is my 

1863
01:38:51,000 --> 01:38:53,720
favorite passage of this Romans 
chapter 16, verse 19. 

1864
01:38:53,720 --> 01:38:57,400
It says be innocent of those 
things which are evil, be 

1865
01:38:57,400 --> 01:38:58,880
excellent and those things which
are good. 

1866
01:38:59,240 --> 01:39:03,320
Do not allow yourself to be 
familiar with evil and allow 

1867
01:39:03,320 --> 01:39:04,800
yourself to be more familiar 
with the good. 

1868
01:39:05,120 --> 01:39:08,000
Believe it, but just bottom 
line, it's super important. 

1869
01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:12,360
Now with respect to eating food 
halal, OK, let me just say this 

1870
01:39:12,880 --> 01:39:15,480
first Corinthians chapter 8. 
This is probably the the the 

1871
01:39:15,560 --> 01:39:18,760
like the parrot like the the, 
the the quintessential passage, 

1872
01:39:18,800 --> 01:39:22,960
right as concerning therefore 
the eating of those things that 

1873
01:39:22,960 --> 01:39:25,680
are offered in sacrifice unto 
idols. 

1874
01:39:25,960 --> 01:39:29,360
We know that an idol is a 
nothing in this world. 

1875
01:39:30,400 --> 01:39:34,600
So what he's basically saying is
the God it's offered to is not 

1876
01:39:34,600 --> 01:39:36,520
real. 
So the meat itself is not 

1877
01:39:36,520 --> 01:39:40,800
spiritually changed to eat it 
and and in first Corinthians 

1878
01:39:40,800 --> 01:39:44,720
chapter 10, it says, you know 
whatsoever is is sold in the 

1879
01:39:44,720 --> 01:39:50,680
shambles that eat asking no 
question for the for the 

1880
01:39:50,680 --> 01:39:53,160
consequences sake. 
In other words, if you think 

1881
01:39:53,160 --> 01:39:55,280
it's been sold in the market 
where they sacrifice it to to 

1882
01:39:55,280 --> 01:39:56,880
idols, just eat it. 
Don't ask questions. 

1883
01:39:56,880 --> 01:39:59,120
Just go ahead and eat it. 
You don't need to investigate 

1884
01:39:59,120 --> 01:40:01,080
everything. 
Food itself is not what defiles 

1885
01:40:01,080 --> 01:40:02,760
you. 
So that's what it's saying. 

1886
01:40:02,960 --> 01:40:05,920
And you know, I mean, look, Paul
says not everything is lawful 

1887
01:40:06,120 --> 01:40:08,000
or, you know, all things are 
lawful, but not everything is 

1888
01:40:08,000 --> 01:40:10,040
expedient. 
OK, If, if it bothers your 

1889
01:40:10,040 --> 01:40:12,960
conscious, then don't eat it. 
That would be the the thing that

1890
01:40:12,960 --> 01:40:15,920
I would say. 
And of course, look, association

1891
01:40:15,920 --> 01:40:18,560
is going to matter here a little
bit too, you know, because if 

1892
01:40:18,560 --> 01:40:21,680
you're, if you're in front of 
somebody that might be stumbled 

1893
01:40:21,680 --> 01:40:23,000
by seeing you eat it, don't do 
it. 

1894
01:40:23,280 --> 01:40:25,480
Just just leave it alone. 
You know, don't don't 

1895
01:40:25,480 --> 01:40:29,000
participate or endorse in any of
that action, especially if your 

1896
01:40:29,000 --> 01:40:30,600
heart and your conscious speak 
against it. 

1897
01:40:30,600 --> 01:40:32,840
Otherwise it's a false it's a 
false God. 

1898
01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:34,160
So it has nothing to do with 
your food. 

1899
01:40:35,000 --> 01:40:39,760
Right or if you're in a position
where they're watching you to 

1900
01:40:39,760 --> 01:40:43,000
take your first fight, you could
just you could pray for God's 

1901
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:47,280
blessing over the food and then 
it'll ex nay the other stuff and

1902
01:40:47,280 --> 01:40:50,800
just because that's the true 
blessing on the. 

1903
01:40:50,800 --> 01:40:54,240
Meals I've had in in Muslim 
countries with people who are 

1904
01:40:54,240 --> 01:40:59,320
Muslim that I literally did the 
whole thing, you know, prayer, 

1905
01:40:59,600 --> 01:41:03,280
all of that. 
OK, you know I got a bigger God 

1906
01:41:03,280 --> 01:41:04,480
than that. 
All right. 

1907
01:41:05,440 --> 01:41:08,080
Next question is from Laura. 
How do I get over my fear of 

1908
01:41:08,080 --> 01:41:10,680
submitting myself to God? 
I am afraid he's going to want 

1909
01:41:10,680 --> 01:41:14,000
me to do something that scares 
me, makes me suffer, and causes 

1910
01:41:14,000 --> 01:41:16,800
me to be unhappy. 
Yeah. 

1911
01:41:17,920 --> 01:41:20,320
OK, so this is another really, 
really good. 

1912
01:41:20,720 --> 01:41:22,360
What did I just do? 
I think I just. 

1913
01:41:22,760 --> 01:41:27,040
No, that's Kate highlighting it.
OK, yeah, this is the first time

1914
01:41:27,040 --> 01:41:28,360
I've actually looked at these 
questions. 

1915
01:41:28,360 --> 01:41:31,080
Shame on me for doing that. 
It's fine. 

1916
01:41:31,080 --> 01:41:34,960
That scared me. 
OK, so I thought I just deleted 

1917
01:41:34,960 --> 01:41:36,720
all the questions. 
No, no, no. 

1918
01:41:36,800 --> 01:41:39,600
Oh gosh. 
So you're fine. 

1919
01:41:40,640 --> 01:41:44,000
Oh man, that was scary. 
OK, what I was trying to see was

1920
01:41:44,000 --> 01:41:45,960
the name of the person. 
I I I didn't see it because I 

1921
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:50,640
just miss it. 
But anyway, look, just 

1922
01:41:50,640 --> 01:41:55,360
understand this, this fear is 
very common, OK? 

1923
01:41:56,280 --> 01:41:59,440
The, the way that I used to hear
it is like, what if I have to go

1924
01:41:59,440 --> 01:42:01,000
to Africa? 
What if God tells me to go to 

1925
01:42:01,000 --> 01:42:04,160
Africa and go hang out in the, 
you know, somewhere where I have

1926
01:42:04,160 --> 01:42:08,440
to eat spiders and, and, and, 
and all of that stuff. 

1927
01:42:08,480 --> 01:42:12,960
OK, look, it, it's, it's, it's a
common fear that virtually 

1928
01:42:12,960 --> 01:42:15,080
everybody has. 
You know, if I give God full 

1929
01:42:15,080 --> 01:42:16,800
control, then my life is going 
to get worse. 

1930
01:42:16,960 --> 01:42:20,360
And by the way, they have that 
feeling for two reasons, OK, not

1931
01:42:20,360 --> 01:42:23,400
just what is God going to make 
me do, but also if I start 

1932
01:42:23,400 --> 01:42:24,880
serving the Lord, I'm going to 
be attacked. 

1933
01:42:25,200 --> 01:42:28,520
And, and we know this. 
We know how relevant this issue 

1934
01:42:28,520 --> 01:42:31,040
is. 
Now the fear has to assume 

1935
01:42:31,040 --> 01:42:34,560
something. 
If you have the fear, it's 

1936
01:42:34,560 --> 01:42:37,920
forcing you to assume something 
is wrong with God is that is 

1937
01:42:37,920 --> 01:42:40,760
that it assumes that God is 
harsh. 

1938
01:42:41,280 --> 01:42:44,120
It assumes that he's looking to 
make your life miserable or that

1939
01:42:44,120 --> 01:42:47,040
his plans are against you. 
But the Bible says the opposite,

1940
01:42:47,320 --> 01:42:49,200
right? 
The Bible says that God seeks 

1941
01:42:49,200 --> 01:42:52,360
goodness for you, that he wants 
the very best for you and that 

1942
01:42:52,360 --> 01:42:53,760
God's not trying to ruin your 
life. 

1943
01:42:53,760 --> 01:42:57,760
He he wants to make it better. 
So look, this is the part that 

1944
01:42:57,920 --> 01:43:00,520
is the most important part and 
and one that's really important 

1945
01:43:00,520 --> 01:43:03,120
that I want to clarify with 
Jesus says, look, if any man 

1946
01:43:03,120 --> 01:43:05,560
will come after me, he needs to 
deny himself, take up his cross 

1947
01:43:05,560 --> 01:43:07,640
daily and follow me. 
There's a word is daily like you

1948
01:43:07,640 --> 01:43:09,840
got to do it on a regular basis.
So there were there's going to 

1949
01:43:09,840 --> 01:43:12,360
be discomfort, there's going to 
be stretching, there's going to 

1950
01:43:12,360 --> 01:43:14,760
be suffering, but that is for 
good. 

1951
01:43:15,120 --> 01:43:17,720
It's not like meaningless pain 
or just like some miserable 

1952
01:43:17,720 --> 01:43:20,000
life. 
The real question that you have 

1953
01:43:20,000 --> 01:43:22,680
to ask is who do you trust? 
Do you trust yourself or do you 

1954
01:43:22,680 --> 01:43:25,680
trust the Lord? 
Because right now that fear is 

1955
01:43:25,680 --> 01:43:29,080
actually saying, well, my way 
will make me happier than God's 

1956
01:43:29,080 --> 01:43:31,600
way, which is impossible. 
And by the way, that's the core 

1957
01:43:31,600 --> 01:43:33,040
battle. 
You all feel that way in one way

1958
01:43:33,040 --> 01:43:34,960
or another. 
What you have to do is recognize

1959
01:43:34,960 --> 01:43:37,720
that God's way is a lot better. 
You know, I mean, think about 

1960
01:43:37,720 --> 01:43:39,680
it. 
Romans gives us the greatest 

1961
01:43:39,680 --> 01:43:45,560
perspective on this. 
He that spared not his own son. 

1962
01:43:46,480 --> 01:43:49,960
I would never, ever give my son 
up for anybody. 

1963
01:43:50,520 --> 01:43:55,000
Not one person, not one person. 
But then what does he say? 

1964
01:43:55,080 --> 01:44:00,160
He that spared not his own son. 
It says how shall he not with 

1965
01:44:00,160 --> 01:44:02,200
him also freely give us all 
things. 

1966
01:44:02,640 --> 01:44:05,400
If God would give a son for you,
you think he's going to hold 

1967
01:44:05,400 --> 01:44:07,840
back the bless, the blessings, 
the best thing for you. 

1968
01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:10,400
No, he's got the best thing in 
mind. 

1969
01:44:10,400 --> 01:44:13,000
And so when you submit, 
understand this, it's not 

1970
01:44:13,000 --> 01:44:15,840
control and misery. 
It brings peace, it brings 

1971
01:44:15,840 --> 01:44:19,120
clarity and it brings purpose. 
I think that there's something 

1972
01:44:19,120 --> 01:44:20,680
really special about that. 
That's the whole Proverbs 

1973
01:44:20,680 --> 01:44:24,360
chapter 3, verse five and six 
principle that I that I just 

1974
01:44:24,360 --> 01:44:27,880
shared. 
Look, God may call you to things

1975
01:44:27,880 --> 01:44:29,880
that are going to stretch you. 
God may even call you the things

1976
01:44:29,880 --> 01:44:33,080
that are going to be very 
uncomfortable, but He will never

1977
01:44:33,080 --> 01:44:37,360
call you to do something that is
ultimately harmful or or outside

1978
01:44:37,360 --> 01:44:39,240
of His goodness. 
That's why the Apostle Paul said

1979
01:44:39,480 --> 01:44:42,600
to live is Christ and to die is 
what it's gain. 

1980
01:44:43,640 --> 01:44:48,560
So the fear is real and but 
understand you cannot believe 

1981
01:44:48,560 --> 01:44:51,960
the false picture of God. 
You're submitting to a Father 

1982
01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:56,640
who knows better than you, who 
loves you more than you even 

1983
01:44:56,640 --> 01:44:59,520
love yourself, and quite frankly
who gave his Son for you. 

1984
01:44:59,760 --> 01:45:03,080
So he's leading you somewhere 
better than anything you could 

1985
01:45:03,080 --> 01:45:05,600
ever design on your own. 
And that's very special. 

1986
01:45:05,720 --> 01:45:07,760
And that's the nature of the God
that we serve. 

1987
01:45:08,280 --> 01:45:10,200
Amen. 
OK, since we only have a few 

1988
01:45:10,200 --> 01:45:13,560
more minutes left, we're going 
to take some questions on guilt 

1989
01:45:13,560 --> 01:45:17,880
and forgiveness. 
I will do some something similar

1990
01:45:17,880 --> 01:45:20,680
like I did earlier where I'll 
just read them off and we'll go 

1991
01:45:20,680 --> 01:45:23,520
from there. 
One questions from YouTube from 

1992
01:45:23,520 --> 01:45:25,400
Patty. 
If I pray for forgiveness for 

1993
01:45:25,400 --> 01:45:29,520
sins, I think God Forgives me, 
but how do I forgive myself? 

1994
01:45:30,680 --> 01:45:33,360
Excuse me, I think I'm stuck 
there. 

1995
01:45:33,800 --> 01:45:38,640
The next question is from 
Anonymous member of Bible and 

1996
01:45:38,640 --> 01:45:40,760
365. 
How do you repent and feel 

1997
01:45:40,760 --> 01:45:43,920
confident in God's grace and 
forgiveness if you've been 

1998
01:45:43,920 --> 01:45:47,200
unfaithful in the past? 
I've changed my habits and no 

1999
01:45:47,200 --> 01:45:51,640
longer even recognize the person
I once was, but is that enough? 

2000
01:45:51,640 --> 01:45:55,240
I pray about this frequently, 
and still I'm so torn over it. 

2001
01:45:55,760 --> 01:45:59,720
Eliana asks. 
I hold guilt for past actions. 

2002
01:45:59,720 --> 01:46:03,080
I am truly conflicted between my
guilt and my search for grace 

2003
01:46:03,080 --> 01:46:05,520
and forgiveness. 
God has not left me alone. 

2004
01:46:05,520 --> 01:46:07,920
I see it every day. 
His presence is with me. 

2005
01:46:08,080 --> 01:46:11,320
My heart feels comfort with 
repentance and daily prayer, but

2006
01:46:11,320 --> 01:46:15,400
my brain doesn't stop. 
How do I find a better balance? 

2007
01:46:15,920 --> 01:46:20,920
Debbie says I love God and I 
follow him with all my heart, 

2008
01:46:20,920 --> 01:46:24,400
but yet I find it very hard to 
know that God truly forgives me 

2009
01:46:24,400 --> 01:46:27,720
for my horrible sins in my life.
Any suggestions on how to 

2010
01:46:27,720 --> 01:46:30,280
overcome this feeling? 
Two more. 

2011
01:46:30,280 --> 01:46:34,120
Chris, I'm 49 and have recently 
rededicated my life back to 

2012
01:46:34,120 --> 01:46:36,960
Christ after nearly 30 year 
absence from my faith. 

2013
01:46:36,960 --> 01:46:39,720
He has changed me more than I 
can express ever since. 

2014
01:46:39,720 --> 01:46:42,000
My question is, how do I 
overcome those couple of 

2015
01:46:42,000 --> 01:46:44,000
stubborn sins that keep calling 
me back? 

2016
01:46:44,320 --> 01:46:47,520
I feel like I've given about 90%
of myself back to Christ, 

2017
01:46:47,520 --> 01:46:50,760
however I'm dragging the last 
10% like a heavy burden that I 

2018
01:46:50,760 --> 01:46:53,520
can't seem to shake. 
And finally Denise, another 

2019
01:46:53,520 --> 01:46:56,120
YouTube question. 
I'm experiencing deep grief and 

2020
01:46:56,120 --> 01:46:58,480
honestly feel just dead inside 
and very numb. 

2021
01:46:58,880 --> 01:47:02,640
I want to hear from God but I 
feel so disconnected even when 

2022
01:47:02,640 --> 01:47:04,440
I'm reading my Bible. 
Any advice? 

2023
01:47:04,440 --> 01:47:07,920
I want God to help me. 
I know it's a lot, but guilt and

2024
01:47:07,920 --> 01:47:10,200
forgiveness all kind of like 
wrapped up into one. 

2025
01:47:10,800 --> 01:47:12,480
Yeah, yeah. 
And what I'm going to try to do 

2026
01:47:12,480 --> 01:47:16,080
is, is answer each of these with
maybe one or two sentences 

2027
01:47:17,240 --> 01:47:19,320
because I think they're all very
similar in nature. 

2028
01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:25,400
So first of all, look, the Bible
makes it very, very clear when 

2029
01:47:25,400 --> 01:47:28,880
it comes to forgiveness that if 
we confess our sins, God is 

2030
01:47:28,880 --> 01:47:31,280
faithful and just to forgive us 
of our sins and cleanse, cleanse

2031
01:47:31,280 --> 01:47:33,600
us of all unrighteousness. 
That's what the Bible says. 

2032
01:47:33,840 --> 01:47:36,280
And this specifically speaks to 
Patty. 

2033
01:47:36,520 --> 01:47:38,400
And I got some of these written 
down, so I'm not going to 

2034
01:47:38,400 --> 01:47:40,000
forget. 
This specifically speaks to 

2035
01:47:40,000 --> 01:47:43,240
Patty because when you ask how 
do you forgive yourself, that 

2036
01:47:43,240 --> 01:47:45,840
question becomes somewhat 
irrelevant because you don't 

2037
01:47:45,840 --> 01:47:49,280
forgive yourself biblically, you
accept that God has already 

2038
01:47:49,280 --> 01:47:50,880
forgiven you. 
That's that verse that I just 

2039
01:47:50,880 --> 01:47:52,640
read. 
So hold building on to guilt is 

2040
01:47:52,640 --> 01:47:55,400
actually rejecting what God has 
already done. 

2041
01:47:55,400 --> 01:47:58,600
So don't do that to the 
anonymous person you know is 

2042
01:47:58,600 --> 01:48:01,760
change enough after 
unfaithfulness? 

2043
01:48:02,400 --> 01:48:05,440
That's an interesting question, 
but let me just simply say this 

2044
01:48:05,640 --> 01:48:10,760
real repentance is proven by 
change the direction, not 

2045
01:48:10,760 --> 01:48:13,640
perfection. 
So you're going to mess up, OK? 

2046
01:48:13,760 --> 01:48:15,320
It's not about whether or not 
you mess up. 

2047
01:48:15,320 --> 01:48:17,320
It's about the fact that you're 
just changing direction. 

2048
01:48:17,600 --> 01:48:19,840
And if you're seeing that the 
direction is being changed, if 

2049
01:48:19,840 --> 01:48:23,480
your life is different, that is 
evidence that God has already 

2050
01:48:23,480 --> 01:48:25,320
worked. 
Second Corinthians tells us 

2051
01:48:25,320 --> 01:48:27,160
this. 
Old things are passed away. 

2052
01:48:27,160 --> 01:48:29,320
Behold, all things are become 
new. 

2053
01:48:29,600 --> 01:48:31,600
So you just have to hold on to 
that and recognize it. 

2054
01:48:31,600 --> 01:48:34,560
Now, Eliana, I think this one is
a little more challenging, but I

2055
01:48:34,560 --> 01:48:37,080
think you're going to appreciate
the answer here because it 

2056
01:48:37,080 --> 01:48:40,360
speaks directly to the same 
thing that Charlie used to talk 

2057
01:48:40,360 --> 01:48:42,000
about all the time. 
I speak about it still on a 

2058
01:48:42,000 --> 01:48:46,480
regular basis and that's this 
look your heart feels peace, but

2059
01:48:46,480 --> 01:48:49,800
your mind won't stop. 
OK well your heart is aligning 

2060
01:48:49,800 --> 01:48:53,040
with God and your mind is still 
catching up because it's tied to

2061
01:48:53,040 --> 01:48:54,640
this body that we live in the 
flesh. 

2062
01:48:54,880 --> 01:48:58,120
So Romans chapter 12 tells us 
what happens here. 

2063
01:48:58,200 --> 01:49:00,520
You renew your mind daily with 
truth. 

2064
01:49:00,680 --> 01:49:05,560
Romans 12/2 be you transformed 
by what the renewing of your 

2065
01:49:05,560 --> 01:49:08,080
mind. 
By the way, I can say this 

2066
01:49:08,080 --> 01:49:09,920
confidently. 
Charlie used to talk about this 

2067
01:49:09,920 --> 01:49:12,160
all the time. 
It that was the revolutionary 

2068
01:49:12,160 --> 01:49:15,280
verse that completely change the
way he thought about how his 

2069
01:49:15,280 --> 01:49:18,080
emotions controlled what the 
spirit told him to do. 

2070
01:49:18,320 --> 01:49:20,040
Right? 
And I think that's the perfect 

2071
01:49:20,040 --> 01:49:25,200
answer for you there, Ileana. 
Now, Debbie, so, so let me just 

2072
01:49:25,200 --> 01:49:27,920
say this. 
There was one line that you used

2073
01:49:27,920 --> 01:49:31,080
here and it says, I think the 
the way it was written is I 

2074
01:49:31,080 --> 01:49:36,240
struggle to believe, I struggle,
I I struggle to believe that God

2075
01:49:36,240 --> 01:49:40,280
truly forgave me. 
OK, look, that's a trust issue. 

2076
01:49:40,640 --> 01:49:42,920
It's not a forgiveness issue, 
OK? 

2077
01:49:43,240 --> 01:49:46,120
God's forgiveness is based on 
His promise, not your feelings. 

2078
01:49:46,120 --> 01:49:49,040
Praise God. 
If you confessed it to God, be 

2079
01:49:49,040 --> 01:49:52,880
the glory, it's gone. 
Do not believe the lying emotion

2080
01:49:52,880 --> 01:49:57,120
that's speaking to you, Chris. 
That last 10% I can't shake. 

2081
01:49:59,240 --> 01:50:01,320
Welcome to the battle of the 
flesh. 

2082
01:50:01,520 --> 01:50:03,400
OK, can I? 
Can I just tell you that you 

2083
01:50:03,400 --> 01:50:06,640
don't win by trying harder. 
You win by staying submitted 

2084
01:50:06,640 --> 01:50:08,240
daily. 
That's always the way it works. 

2085
01:50:08,520 --> 01:50:12,120
You cut off access points. 
You don't manage the sin, you 

2086
01:50:12,120 --> 01:50:14,600
starve it. 
If you want to know that, go to 

2087
01:50:14,600 --> 01:50:17,920
my Easter message that I did, 
where I talk exactly about this,

2088
01:50:17,920 --> 01:50:20,320
where the apostle Paul says the 
things I want to do, I don't do.

2089
01:50:20,320 --> 01:50:22,040
The things I don't want to do, I
do. 

2090
01:50:22,120 --> 01:50:24,240
Who will deliver me from this 
body of death? 

2091
01:50:24,240 --> 01:50:25,680
That's what he says, this death 
trap. 

2092
01:50:25,800 --> 01:50:29,040
And then he gives the answer. 
The very last of Romans Chapter 

2093
01:50:29,040 --> 01:50:32,360
7, he says it is Christ Jesus. 
He's the one that delivers me 

2094
01:50:32,360 --> 01:50:34,400
from this body of death. 
And then he says this when he 

2095
01:50:34,400 --> 01:50:37,880
comes to that realization, he 
says there is now therefore no 

2096
01:50:37,880 --> 01:50:40,840
condemnation for those who are 
in Christ Jesus who walk not 

2097
01:50:40,840 --> 01:50:43,680
according to the flesh, but who 
walk according to the Spirit. 

2098
01:50:43,800 --> 01:50:45,720
It's powerful. 
That's what you need to hold on 

2099
01:50:45,720 --> 01:50:48,440
to, Chris. 
Go to my study on Easter that I 

2100
01:50:48,440 --> 01:50:50,360
just did on Easter. 
You'll actually love it and 

2101
01:50:50,360 --> 01:50:51,760
you'll see exactly what I'm 
talking about. 

2102
01:50:52,080 --> 01:50:58,760
Now, Denise, this is one that is
so like so common, it's not even

2103
01:50:58,760 --> 01:51:00,640
funny. 
There's one phrase you put here 

2104
01:51:00,640 --> 01:51:01,920
that kind of like rings the 
bell. 

2105
01:51:02,160 --> 01:51:04,840
It's I feel numb. 
And I'm, I think the word you 

2106
01:51:04,840 --> 01:51:07,960
use is disconnected. 
Look, numbness does not mean 

2107
01:51:07,960 --> 01:51:10,440
that God is absent. 
As a matter of fact, it often 

2108
01:51:10,440 --> 01:51:13,080
means that you're grieving 
deeply or that you're you're 

2109
01:51:13,080 --> 01:51:15,160
exhausted. 
But it doesn't mean that God is 

2110
01:51:15,160 --> 01:51:17,360
absent. 
As a matter of fact, stay 

2111
01:51:17,360 --> 01:51:20,600
consistent in the word even when
you don't feel like it. 

2112
01:51:20,600 --> 01:51:23,480
That's how you defeat the 
numbness that's lying to you. 

2113
01:51:23,760 --> 01:51:27,440
God is still working even when 
you don't sense it, and God 

2114
01:51:27,440 --> 01:51:30,800
promises that. 
OK, now here's the overwhelming 

2115
01:51:30,800 --> 01:51:33,640
truth for everybody, OK? 
Like I want all of you to see 

2116
01:51:33,640 --> 01:51:36,600
this because of the commonality 
that exists, and that's this. 

2117
01:51:36,920 --> 01:51:40,200
If you've confessed and you've 
turned from sin, God's already 

2118
01:51:40,200 --> 01:51:42,560
forgiven you. 
It's really simple, OK? 

2119
01:51:42,800 --> 01:51:45,240
The issue now is believing it 
and walking in it. 

2120
01:51:45,240 --> 01:51:47,480
And that goes back to the Romans
81 principle. 

2121
01:51:47,600 --> 01:51:49,440
There is therefore no 
condemnation now for those who 

2122
01:51:49,440 --> 01:51:52,320
are in Christ Jesus who walked 
out according to the flesh, but 

2123
01:51:52,320 --> 01:51:54,400
who choose to be submitted to 
the life of the Spirit. 

2124
01:51:54,720 --> 01:51:57,960
The bottom line is, and this is 
really, really important, guilt 

2125
01:51:57,960 --> 01:52:00,720
that leads you to repentance is 
from God. 

2126
01:52:00,720 --> 01:52:03,840
It's called conviction. 
Guilt that keeps you stuck is 

2127
01:52:03,840 --> 01:52:06,280
not. 
It's actually guilt in the bad 

2128
01:52:06,280 --> 01:52:08,080
way. 
At some point you have to 

2129
01:52:08,080 --> 01:52:12,280
decide, am I going to believe 
what I feel or what God has 

2130
01:52:12,280 --> 01:52:14,720
already said? 
And I hope the answer in every 

2131
01:52:14,720 --> 01:52:17,560
single one of those situations 
is I choose to believe what God 

2132
01:52:17,560 --> 01:52:19,040
has already said. 
Amen. 

2133
01:52:19,600 --> 01:52:25,440
Our last question for the month 
of May until we come back 

2134
01:52:25,440 --> 01:52:28,120
together in June is from 
Danielle. 

2135
01:52:28,120 --> 01:52:33,280
I'm I'm it's a little bit lower 
in the commandments it says 

2136
01:52:33,280 --> 01:52:36,880
honor thy mother and father. 
My mother and I aren't speaking 

2137
01:52:36,880 --> 01:52:38,920
due to her political and 
biblical views. 

2138
01:52:39,000 --> 01:52:42,800
She doesn't believe in anything.
She is very dark with her views,

2139
01:52:42,800 --> 01:52:45,800
very liberal and talks very 
nasty about my biblical and 

2140
01:52:45,800 --> 01:52:48,840
political views. 
How do you honor your mother 

2141
01:52:48,840 --> 01:52:53,160
when she is a non believer? 
Oh OK, great question. 

2142
01:52:53,160 --> 01:52:54,720
And there are ways to do it, 
believe it or not. 

2143
01:52:54,720 --> 01:52:56,640
Tough one to end on, but a good 
one to end on. 

2144
01:52:57,160 --> 01:52:59,960
It is, but, but I also think 
it's very, very encouraging 

2145
01:52:59,960 --> 01:53:03,480
because this is something that 
is, is so, you know, Charlie 

2146
01:53:03,480 --> 01:53:05,720
would talk about this a lot 
because all the college students

2147
01:53:05,720 --> 01:53:07,360
he would minister to would 
struggle with this. 

2148
01:53:07,400 --> 01:53:10,240
You know, they're learning, you 
know, they're political, They're

2149
01:53:10,280 --> 01:53:11,800
they're gaining some political 
insight. 

2150
01:53:11,800 --> 01:53:13,000
They're beginning to walk with 
the Lord. 

2151
01:53:13,000 --> 01:53:15,920
And then they got moms and dads,
these college kids that they 

2152
01:53:15,920 --> 01:53:18,440
just feel like they should just 
come some blessings in front of 

2153
01:53:18,440 --> 01:53:19,640
us. 
But let me just explain this. 

2154
01:53:19,640 --> 01:53:21,160
This is so critically important.
OK? 

2155
01:53:21,400 --> 01:53:24,240
First of all, we have to start 
with what honor actually means. 

2156
01:53:24,240 --> 01:53:27,000
You have to define terms, OK, 
Honor, let me just talk about 

2157
01:53:27,000 --> 01:53:29,840
what it doesn't mean, OK? 
Honor does not mean agreeing 

2158
01:53:29,840 --> 01:53:31,240
with everything. 
It doesn't mean allowing 

2159
01:53:31,240 --> 01:53:34,040
disrespect or abuse. 
It doesn't mean having constant 

2160
01:53:34,240 --> 01:53:36,720
close access. 
What honor means is showing 

2161
01:53:36,720 --> 01:53:39,200
respect in how you treat and 
speak to them. 

2162
01:53:39,440 --> 01:53:41,920
It means recognizing their role 
as your parent. 

2163
01:53:42,120 --> 01:53:44,560
OK Exodus says this. 
It's one of the commandments. 

2164
01:53:44,600 --> 01:53:49,120
Honor thy father and thy mother.
Now you can honor without 

2165
01:53:49,120 --> 01:53:52,560
agreement, OK? 
It's very, very hard at times. 

2166
01:53:52,560 --> 01:53:55,720
In some cases it's easy. 
You're not required to agree 

2167
01:53:55,960 --> 01:53:57,800
with her beliefs. 
You're just not. 

2168
01:53:57,920 --> 01:54:00,240
Especially when they contradict 
God's word. 

2169
01:54:00,280 --> 01:54:04,160
OK, you, you see this in Acts. 
You see this all over. 

2170
01:54:04,360 --> 01:54:06,600
The apostles say we ought to 
obey God rather than man. 

2171
01:54:06,600 --> 01:54:09,560
OK, that makes sense. 
But here's the thing, this is 

2172
01:54:09,560 --> 01:54:12,000
where you might not like my 
answer, OK? 

2173
01:54:12,360 --> 01:54:14,640
But it's important because God 
will bless you for it. 

2174
01:54:14,880 --> 01:54:18,680
You have to honor in your tone 
and in your conduct. 

2175
01:54:18,760 --> 01:54:20,680
There's just no way around that,
OK? 

2176
01:54:21,040 --> 01:54:24,600
Even if she's harsh or 
disrespectful, you don't respond

2177
01:54:24,600 --> 01:54:27,960
the same way. 
You have to stay controlled, you

2178
01:54:27,960 --> 01:54:31,600
have to stay respectful, and you
have to stay very measured. 

2179
01:54:32,000 --> 01:54:35,240
OK, look, honor shows up in the 
way that you speak to them. 

2180
01:54:35,240 --> 01:54:38,120
It shows up in how you respond 
and it shows how you carry 

2181
01:54:38,120 --> 01:54:41,200
yourself. 
It's really, really simple and 

2182
01:54:41,200 --> 01:54:43,680
there's really no way around it.
Like I, I can tell you, I have 

2183
01:54:43,680 --> 01:54:46,160
an incredibly godly ants. 
I have a lot of very godly ants.

2184
01:54:46,720 --> 01:54:51,200
But there are times where any 
one of my relatives, we we also 

2185
01:54:51,200 --> 01:54:54,080
have some relatives that don't 
know the Lord in any one of my 

2186
01:54:54,080 --> 01:54:56,520
relatives, they can say 
disagreeable things to my 

2187
01:54:56,520 --> 01:54:58,160
children. 
They can say things that I hate 

2188
01:54:58,160 --> 01:55:01,320
being said. 
But the bottom line is we still 

2189
01:55:01,320 --> 01:55:03,680
teach our children to love them.
We still teach our children to 

2190
01:55:03,680 --> 01:55:06,560
enjoy being around them. 
We still teach our children to 

2191
01:55:06,560 --> 01:55:07,440
respect them. 
Why? 

2192
01:55:07,440 --> 01:55:09,160
Because they deserve that 
respect. 

2193
01:55:09,160 --> 01:55:12,320
Now I'm blessed because like, I 
think about my mom's last living

2194
01:55:12,320 --> 01:55:14,760
sibling, my aunt, she's 
incredibly godly. 

2195
01:55:14,760 --> 01:55:17,640
Like she's easy to teach my 
children how to honor and 

2196
01:55:17,640 --> 01:55:20,560
respect my aunt. 
To Mel, she's like, she's like, 

2197
01:55:20,840 --> 01:55:23,920
I mean, no one will ever be able
to replace my mom, but I think I

2198
01:55:23,920 --> 01:55:26,480
would lose my mind if she wasn't
on this earth, right? 

2199
01:55:26,920 --> 01:55:30,080
But you know, if, if she says 
something that's disagreeable, 

2200
01:55:30,080 --> 01:55:33,040
that doesn't agree with the way 
we're raising our children, I 

2201
01:55:33,040 --> 01:55:36,280
better not hear any lip from my 
children, we're going to, we're 

2202
01:55:36,280 --> 01:55:38,360
going to roll with it. 
And then later we deal with it 

2203
01:55:38,360 --> 01:55:41,080
amongst our kids. 
So if she's constantly attacking

2204
01:55:41,080 --> 01:55:45,920
your faith or or being verbally 
harmful, then it's appropriate 

2205
01:55:45,920 --> 01:55:48,920
to limit your conversations or 
avoid certain topics or even 

2206
01:55:48,920 --> 01:55:52,200
create distance if it's needed. 
But there's many ways you can 

2207
01:55:52,200 --> 01:55:54,880
still maintain the relationship 
without breaching those areas 

2208
01:55:55,120 --> 01:55:56,760
that would cause her to do those
things. 

2209
01:55:56,880 --> 01:55:58,760
That's not dishonor. 
It's just wisdom. 

2210
01:55:58,760 --> 01:56:00,760
It's practical wisdom. 
Now you can honor her from a 

2211
01:56:00,760 --> 01:56:02,640
distance. 
You can, if that's what's 

2212
01:56:02,640 --> 01:56:05,960
necessary, you can pray for her.
You can speak kindly about her 

2213
01:56:05,960 --> 01:56:07,920
to others. 
You don't ever put her down to 

2214
01:56:07,920 --> 01:56:10,400
other people, right? 
You have to be willing to help 

2215
01:56:10,400 --> 01:56:12,280
if she's in real need. 
If she comes to you after all 

2216
01:56:12,280 --> 01:56:14,400
that nastiness and all that and 
says, I really need help with a 

2217
01:56:14,400 --> 01:56:16,640
few dollars or whatever, you 
take care of her. 

2218
01:56:16,880 --> 01:56:19,360
But the one thing that you don't
have to do is you don't have to 

2219
01:56:19,360 --> 01:56:21,480
sit in environments where God is
constantly being mocked or 

2220
01:56:21,480 --> 01:56:24,080
subject yourself to any kind of 
ongoing negativity. 

2221
01:56:24,200 --> 01:56:26,920
But you have to be really 
serious about what that looks 

2222
01:56:26,920 --> 01:56:28,880
like and what you're willing to 
to stomach. 

2223
01:56:29,040 --> 01:56:31,480
Maybe the environment that you 
sit with her in may not be the 

2224
01:56:31,480 --> 01:56:33,400
same environment that you'd be 
willing to sit with her in, with

2225
01:56:33,400 --> 01:56:36,120
the with the children, but you 
have to understand what that 

2226
01:56:36,120 --> 01:56:38,520
looks like. 
So the goal here is to reflect 

2227
01:56:38,520 --> 01:56:39,800
Christ. 
It's not to fix her. 

2228
01:56:39,920 --> 01:56:42,320
If the goal is to fix her, then 
it's going to be miserable for 

2229
01:56:42,320 --> 01:56:43,640
you. 
You're not responsible for 

2230
01:56:43,640 --> 01:56:45,120
changing her. 
You're just responsible for 

2231
01:56:45,120 --> 01:56:47,960
representing Christ well and 
staying faithful to the truth. 

2232
01:56:48,160 --> 01:56:49,720
Those are the things that you 
need to do. 

2233
01:56:49,920 --> 01:56:51,680
And there is a practical 
balance. 

2234
01:56:51,840 --> 01:56:55,720
OK, if communication is 
possible, you have to do it. 

2235
01:56:55,920 --> 01:56:58,080
You have to keep it respectful 
and limited. 

2236
01:56:58,080 --> 01:57:01,720
Yes, if necessary limited, But 
if it becomes toxic in the most 

2237
01:57:01,720 --> 01:57:05,520
respectful way, step back 
without without any type of 

2238
01:57:05,800 --> 01:57:08,840
hostility, say I love you, walk 
away. 

2239
01:57:08,960 --> 01:57:11,720
Let the space be and learn how 
to create boundaries in a way 

2240
01:57:11,720 --> 01:57:13,160
that blesses them and honors 
them. 

2241
01:57:13,400 --> 01:57:15,760
Look, the bottom line is this 
honoring your mother does not 

2242
01:57:15,760 --> 01:57:18,800
mean tolerating sin or accepting
abuse or or compromising your 

2243
01:57:18,800 --> 01:57:21,680
faith, but it does mean treating
her with respect and while 

2244
01:57:21,680 --> 01:57:24,560
remaining fully committed to God
like you can't allow it to cause

2245
01:57:24,560 --> 01:57:26,840
your your walk with God to be 
compromised. 

2246
01:57:27,000 --> 01:57:30,480
You can honor her and still draw
very clear lines while 

2247
01:57:30,480 --> 01:57:33,520
glorifying God and doing the 
thing that God would have you to

2248
01:57:33,520 --> 01:57:35,880
do and you'll never, you never 
know, it may be the very the 

2249
01:57:35,880 --> 01:57:37,000
very thing that leads her to 
Christ. 

2250
01:57:37,120 --> 01:57:38,760
So don't forget that. 
Amen. 

2251
01:57:39,080 --> 01:57:41,120
Beautiful. 
OK, you guys. 

2252
01:57:41,120 --> 01:57:45,920
Well, that was our May Bible in 
365 Live Q&A. 

2253
01:57:46,440 --> 01:57:49,720
Pastor James, anything else 
before we sign off until we see 

2254
01:57:49,720 --> 01:57:53,360
you next month? 
No, other than I can be really 

2255
01:57:53,360 --> 01:57:55,600
long winded. 
I can't believe that it's been 2

2256
01:57:55,600 --> 01:57:58,160
hours. 
I know, I'm wondering if we 

2257
01:57:58,160 --> 01:58:00,680
should do like a timer or 
something so we can get. 

2258
01:58:01,240 --> 01:58:02,080
I don't. 
Know you know what? 

2259
01:58:02,080 --> 01:58:03,400
We could. 
We could easily do that. 

2260
01:58:03,960 --> 01:58:05,920
We can easily do a time. 
That might be interesting. 

2261
01:58:05,920 --> 01:58:08,760
For me, have them put up a timer
every question I could. 

2262
01:58:08,760 --> 01:58:11,480
I could easily do that, that'd 
be matter of fact. 

2263
01:58:11,560 --> 01:58:16,000
The answers might be better. 
I think your answers are 

2264
01:58:16,000 --> 01:58:18,520
perfect. 
OK, well, why don't you send us 

2265
01:58:18,520 --> 01:58:23,680
off into the weekend with a 
solid prayer and yeah, just 

2266
01:58:23,680 --> 01:58:25,400
grateful for you. 
I'm grateful for the Bible and 

2267
01:58:25,400 --> 01:58:27,680
365 family. 
We get all of your emails, we 

2268
01:58:27,680 --> 01:58:31,520
get all of your text messages. 
And I'm just grateful that we 

2269
01:58:31,520 --> 01:58:33,960
have thousands of you that are 
in our corner. 

2270
01:58:33,960 --> 01:58:37,080
And and we're just honored to be
reading the Bible cover to cover

2271
01:58:37,080 --> 01:58:38,760
with you guys this year. 
It's really special. 

2272
01:58:39,480 --> 01:58:41,160
Yeah, and Erica, I want to say 
something because I think it's 

2273
01:58:41,160 --> 01:58:44,040
really important. 
I just want to say how 

2274
01:58:44,040 --> 01:58:48,440
incredibly proud I am of you and
how how proud I am of the way 

2275
01:58:48,520 --> 01:58:52,040
that God has been using you and 
how you've been glorifying God 

2276
01:58:52,040 --> 01:58:53,480
in the way you've handled 
everything. 

2277
01:58:54,000 --> 01:58:57,880
You really are amazing. 
And you know, I, I joke all the 

2278
01:58:57,880 --> 01:59:00,120
time and saying you're the most 
underestimated woman in the 

2279
01:59:00,120 --> 01:59:03,200
country, maybe in the world. 
But the, the reality of it is 

2280
01:59:05,000 --> 01:59:08,880
God, I'm so blessed to see 
Christ in you and I'm thankful 

2281
01:59:08,880 --> 01:59:12,120
for how God has been giving you 
the strength to just encourage 

2282
01:59:12,120 --> 01:59:14,040
everybody. 
And there's a lot of people I 

2283
01:59:14,040 --> 01:59:18,080
know that agree with me in that.
So I, I want to take a moment to

2284
01:59:18,080 --> 01:59:22,280
also thank the Lord for what 
you've chosen to do in this 

2285
01:59:22,280 --> 01:59:23,920
time. 
And I do really believe from the

2286
01:59:23,920 --> 01:59:26,720
bottom of my heart that Charlie 
would be so incredibly proud of 

2287
01:59:26,720 --> 01:59:28,040
you. 
I know we are. 

2288
01:59:28,280 --> 01:59:29,560
And we're really, really 
blessed. 

2289
01:59:29,760 --> 01:59:33,920
And it, it, it makes it such a 
blessing to be able to stand 

2290
01:59:33,920 --> 01:59:37,680
with you in times like this 
because you continue to show 

2291
01:59:37,680 --> 01:59:41,600
people that God is real through 
the way that you live. 

2292
01:59:41,680 --> 01:59:44,240
And I just, I just absolutely 
love it. 

2293
01:59:44,360 --> 01:59:46,720
And I'm, I'm incredibly proud of
you for doing it. 

2294
01:59:46,720 --> 01:59:50,200
And I really, truly believe that
God is in the midst of what may 

2295
01:59:50,200 --> 01:59:54,760
be one of the most amazing 
spiritual awakenings. 

2296
01:59:54,760 --> 01:59:56,480
I think that's just lingering on
the corner. 

2297
01:59:56,480 --> 01:59:58,480
And I, and I and I, and I can't 
wait to see what the Lord is 

2298
01:59:58,480 --> 02:00:01,040
going to do. 
So let's pray. 

2299
02:00:01,360 --> 02:00:02,800
Yeah. 
Father in heaven, we just thank 

2300
02:00:02,800 --> 02:00:03,840
you, Lord, for your 
faithfulness. 

2301
02:00:03,840 --> 02:00:07,160
Lord, I thank you, Father, for 
everybody that's watching right 

2302
02:00:07,160 --> 02:00:09,640
now. 
I pray God that you would bless 

2303
02:00:09,640 --> 02:00:12,040
them literally in every way. 
Bless them spiritually, 

2304
02:00:12,040 --> 02:00:14,000
emotionally, mentally, 
physically, financially. 

2305
02:00:14,000 --> 02:00:17,000
Lord bless everything they 
touch, bless everything they 

2306
02:00:17,000 --> 02:00:19,480
hold to. 
Lord, I just pray that as they 

2307
02:00:19,480 --> 02:00:23,080
fill their lives with 
instruction from your word that 

2308
02:00:23,080 --> 02:00:26,080
you would bless them for every 
decision they make related to 

2309
02:00:26,080 --> 02:00:27,320
it. 
So Lord, we love you and thank 

2310
02:00:27,320 --> 02:00:28,880
you. 
We look to you and we ask these 

2311
02:00:28,880 --> 02:00:30,320
things. 
In Jesus name we pray. 

2312
02:00:31,120 --> 02:00:32,240
Amen. 
Amen. 

2313
02:00:32,760 --> 02:00:35,080
God bless you guys. 
We will see you next month. 

2314
02:00:35,120 --> 02:00:36,280
Keep fighting the good fight.