1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,360
People will always respect you 
more when you have boundaries 

2
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:08,720
set in place that you do not let
anybody cross, regardless of who

3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,560
they are to you, of how long 
you've known them or what they 

4
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:16,120
mean to you. 
There just comes a point in life

5
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,720
where you realize you are so 
sick of putting up with people 

6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,520
that continue to disrespect you,
that don't see your value, and 

7
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,520
that you are sitting here trying
so hard to prove to them who you

8
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,120
are. 
And you just realize, what have 

9
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,840
I been doing that all for? 
I don't even care to have this 

10
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,640
person in my life. 
And the moment that you start 

11
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,880
setting those boundaries in 
place and you tell them no, or 

12
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,760
you tell them I don't want to 
deal with this anymore, I'm 

13
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,560
totally OK with just cutting you
out of my life. 

14
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,160
Truly believe that at least half
of the world struggles with 

15
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,560
people pleasing. 
Where we put other people before

16
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,320
ourselves, where we let people 
walk all over us, we go out of 

17
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,000
our way. 
We are constantly thinking about

18
00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,280
others before ourself, where we 
don't even care to think about 

19
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,160
how we feel. 
And it's to a point where 

20
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,720
eventually you will just get so 
fed up you will not be happy. 

21
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,160
You'll be tired of how people 
are treating you. 

22
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:15,400
And that's where the boundaries 
and the change in your identity.

23
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,560
Hello everyone and welcome to 
today's episode. 

24
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,320
As you already figured out, we 
are going to be talking about 

25
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,400
setting boundaries and also 
people pleasing tendencies. 

26
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:28,080
We are going to completely kill 
off that identity, that version 

27
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,960
of you that is always going out 
of their way for others. 

28
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,240
That is putting people before 
themselves, not putting yourself

29
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,520
first. 
And we're gonna be stepping into

30
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,120
that. 
Don't mess with me energy where 

31
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,960
we have boundaries set in place.
Regardless of who it is in your 

32
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:46,320
life, they're not gonna be able 
to step those boundaries and 

33
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,480
people are gonna respect you 
more for it. 

34
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,120
I want you to think of a time 
where someone in your life 

35
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:57,640
crossed a boundary and you just 
let it happen because you were 

36
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,760
more worried about the conflict 
or upsetting them more than 

37
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,680
yourself. 
But then at the back of your 

38
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,800
mind, you look back at that time
and you realize, wow, I wish I 

39
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,960
stood up for myself. 
That's OK because you learned 

40
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,840
from that. 
You realized I don't want to be 

41
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,800
that person anymore. 
And that's what today's all 

42
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,520
about. 
You can decide to be a 

43
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,600
completely different person now.
It doesn't matter if a year ago 

44
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,480
you were a people pleaser. 
Those people, they're going to 

45
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,720
come into your life and they're 
going to try to pull the same 

46
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,440
stuff on you. 
But after today, you're going to

47
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,280
be like, no, that's not me. 
And you can't pull that with me 

48
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,240
anymore. 
That's just not who I am. 

49
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,720
And I don't know who you think 
you are, but you're not going to

50
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,240
get away with that with me 
anymore, unfortunately. 

51
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,680
Like, you want to disrespect me 
and say all these things to me 

52
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,200
that are extremely offensive. 
Well, I'm not going to sit here 

53
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,680
and take it. 
I'm actually going to put you in

54
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,000
your place. 
At this point. 

55
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,760
I don't care if it upsets you, 
because I'd rather speak up for 

56
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:57,040
myself, then let you place your 
weird projections onto me. 

57
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,720
Men have a tendency of trying to
overstep boundaries in 

58
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,920
relationships. 
Most likely he is. 

59
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,640
He probably has some inner work 
to do, But some men will try to 

60
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:13,040
see how far they can get away 
with you and how much are you 

61
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,960
going to tolerate. 
You need to realize that if 

62
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,880
they're doing something you 
don't like, you need to cut it 

63
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,520
off right off the bat. 
You cannot just let it slide and

64
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,040
think, oh, maybe he'll be 
better, like next week. 

65
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,120
Or maybe he'll learn from this 
time. 

66
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,600
No, you need to set it in place.
Don't do that again. 

67
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,880
And that's the thing. 
Sometimes they just need that 

68
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,360
little reminder of, like, no, 
you're not doing this. 

69
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,240
I will not tolerate that. 
And the second you step into 

70
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,440
that version of yourself, that's
like, I'm not afraid to confront

71
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,960
you with how I feel. 
They're going to respect you so 

72
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,280
much more for that because 
they're going to realize, OK, I 

73
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,320
can't mess with this person, 
they're not going to deal with 

74
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,640
my bullshit. 
So it's either I work on it and 

75
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,880
change it or they're out the 
door and that is such an 

76
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,160
attractive energy because they 
will want you even more. 

77
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,320
The more that you are just 
setting your boundaries and 

78
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:08,560
focused on you, the more than be
like, wow, I want this woman. 

79
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,520
That is the type of energy we 
want to have. 

80
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:15,000
So if someone is bothering you 
and you are fed up with it, 

81
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,320
don't be afraid to just 
respectfully, obviously don't 

82
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,160
get emotional, don't take your 
anger out on them. 

83
00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:23,440
You want to approach this in a 
respectful way, like don't do 

84
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,240
that again because I'm not 
willing to put up with that. 

85
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,240
You actually over set my 
boundaries and I just thought 

86
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,720
I'd let you know because there 
won't be a next time 

87
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,560
respectfully. 
And you know what guys like I 

88
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,360
get it. 
I used to be that very nice 

89
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,160
girl. 
I still struggle sometimes. 

90
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,240
I really struggle to, like, be 
that type of girl that says no 

91
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,200
or like, don't mess with me. 
I'm very, I'm very passive. 

92
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:52,400
But I've learned so many times 
that I need to stand up for 

93
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:56,080
myself when that time comes. 
Like, I am not just going to be 

94
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,960
a pushover like I used to be. 
And once I started setting my 

95
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:03,480
boundaries and standing up for 
myself, people don't mess with 

96
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,920
me. 
It's crazy, like, people just 

97
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,240
know I'm not going to deal with 
it anymore. 

98
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,560
That version of me is gone, like
I had to. 

99
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,600
There was like that little time 
stamp where I made the shift 

100
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,760
within myself concept. 
And I was like, you know, I'm 

101
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,360
actually sick of being this type
of person, and that's exactly 

102
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,280
what I teach in my workshop. 
You first need to identify who 

103
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,760
you no longer want to be in 
order to make the change. 

104
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,680
Because it's hard to think, OK, 
who do I want to be? 

105
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,000
OK, let's start with who do I 
don't want to be? 

106
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,040
What am I sick and tired of with
my behaviors, with my reality, 

107
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,560
how people are showing up? 
I don't want to be a pushover. 

108
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,080
I don't want people to cross my 
boundaries. 

109
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,360
I don't want people to think of 
me as a second option. 

110
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,160
OK, so you have identified who 
you no longer want to be and now

111
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,760
you're going to decide how are 
you going to show up now? 

112
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,800
You are going to have to stick 
to that new story, OK? 

113
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,120
You are not going to let people 
cross your boundaries. 

114
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,600
So someone's going to try to 
cross your boundaries, but this 

115
00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,200
time you're going to not 
tolerate it. 

116
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,840
You're going to show up with a 
different energy. 

117
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,360
You're going to do something 
that you have never done before.

118
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,640
You're going to say no, You're 
going to actually tell them I'm 

119
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,120
not dealing with this or 
actually I don't want you in my 

120
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,680
life anymore. 
I'm just, I'm done with this and

121
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,920
it feels so good. 
Like it's one thing to like 

122
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,200
think, OK, I want to be this 
person, but once you are that 

123
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,520
person and you see how other 
people reflect it and that you 

124
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,960
get that confirmation, like damn
okay people now see me as this 

125
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,560
new version, you are going to 
feel so powerful. 

126
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,120
And this is exactly what I 
teach, right? 

127
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,160
Like, obviously boundaries are 
super important, but this works 

128
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,400
too. 
Like if you want to change the 

129
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,440
way other people are showing up,
you need to change the way that 

130
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,400
you're feeling and thinking 
about yourself within yourself. 

131
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,280
Concept. 
Even if you're trying to attract

132
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,280
a man into your life, let's say 
you want to attract a wealthy 

133
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,680
man you're so used to dating 
like these bare minimum guys, 

134
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,880
you want the top notch ones, 
even if you're trying to attract

135
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,320
like a high value man into your 
life. 

136
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,320
Let's say that you realize that 
you're always going for these 

137
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,800
guys that you always knew deep 
down you can do better. 

138
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,120
OK, so you want to start 
attracting high value man. 

139
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,920
OK, you need to change the way 
that you're feeling about 

140
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,360
yourself. 
I no longer identify as someone 

141
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,480
that's attracted to these fuck 
boys. 

142
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:16,200
Like if you were holding that 
old self concept, the old 

143
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,600
identity of I I'm attracted to 
fuck boys. 

144
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,360
I'm attracted to people that are
inconsistent with me. 

145
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,040
You will. 
You can be in a room of like 100

146
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:29,880
people, 100 men and have rich 
ones like very great men and 

147
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,440
fuck boys. 
If you are in the self concept 

148
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,880
where you are attracted to those
fuck boys, you are not even 

149
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,680
going to look at the high value 
men, the one that you want. 

150
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,880
You're going to still go for 
what you're attracted to, which 

151
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,560
is the fuck boy. 
So you need to make sure that 

152
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,640
you are changing your beliefs. 
OK? 

153
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,840
I am no longer wanting to pursue
fuck boys. 

154
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,440
Actually that turns me off. 
I just don't want to deal with 

155
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,520
that. 
Those are not the type of men 

156
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,920
that I want to surround myself 
with anymore. 

157
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,480
I'm just done with that era. 
That chapter is closed and 

158
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,760
you're going to change the way 
that you are viewing yourself. 

159
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,600
I view myself as someone that 
attracts high value men. 

160
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:12,160
Amazing men approach me. 
They always want to pursue me. 

161
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,520
They always want to Take Me Out 
on amazing dates. 

162
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,600
They're giving me amazing 
treatment. 

163
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,120
I don't have to ask for it. 
I don't have to do anything. 

164
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:23,840
I just get to exist and look 
pretty and they are just going 

165
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,520
out of their way for me because 
that's just the way it is. 

166
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,160
I'm done with that chasing 
energy. 

167
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,320
I'm not sitting here waiting for
a good morning text. 

168
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,520
Like I checked my phone in the 
morning from my new man and he 

169
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,360
is going out of his way for me 
planning dates and it's amazing.

170
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,280
See, that's like the type of 
self talk that you need to start

171
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,600
telling yourself throughout the 
day if you are looking to 

172
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:48,040
attract a high value man. 
Like even if this man is not 

173
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,520
insight, you don't have to go on
dating apps and stuff and you 

174
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,400
don't have to go into these like
hotels. 

175
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,480
Like how some people say like 
you have to go to these fancy 

176
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,000
hotels. 
No, like you can just manifest 

177
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,360
them out of thin air. 
Like, leave that to the 

178
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,200
universe. 
Just plant the seed of what you 

179
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,200
want, create that identity of 
yourself. 

180
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,760
Start acting as that girl, OK, 
maybe even switch up your look 

181
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,160
like start dressing like a high 
value woman where you are just 

182
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:17,480
like I look expensive, I look 
great, I feel like the best 

183
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,080
version of myself. 
I feel hot. 

184
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,680
Naturally you will just attract 
that man. 

185
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,920
Trust me, I totally got 
sidetracked there. 

186
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,360
But we're going to go back to 
the people pleasing and setting 

187
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,440
boundaries. 
So if you are currently in a 

188
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:37,160
situation with let's say a man 
specifically, and he is not 

189
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,840
showing up the way that you want
him to, maybe he's making you 

190
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,040
feel, like disrespected. 
He's crossing your boundaries. 

191
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,360
You are done putting up with it.
Like maybe he's even 

192
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,600
inconsistent with his text. 
Like he doesn't have to do 

193
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:52,440
something huge for you to set 
that boundary and be like no, 

194
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,200
I'm not dealing with this or 
completely cut him off. 

195
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,800
Like it is completely up to you 
with what you are willing to put

196
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,360
up with because this is 
different for everyone. 

197
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:07,080
Like some people are willing to 
persist through a lot more than 

198
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,600
others. 
Like some people, they will 

199
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,680
simply leave a relationship just
because they feel something 

200
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,440
slightly is off with someone 
where there's other people that 

201
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,960
will stay like through thick and
thin when deep down they know 

202
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,960
they should have left. 
So that's also something that 

203
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,200
maybe you should look into 
within yourself and address 

204
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,320
within yourself. 
How are you operating when it 

205
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,480
comes to relationships, when 
someone is disrespecting you or 

206
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,640
you don't feel honored or 
valued? 

207
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,440
How are you responding to this? 
Are you just letting it happen? 

208
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,880
Are you firm with your 
boundaries? 

209
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:44,000
Are you communicating to them 
what you are not willing to put 

210
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,880
up with? 
How are you operating? 

211
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:52,360
If before you used to tend to 
just let things slide, you 

212
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,680
wouldn't really say what's on 
your mind. 

213
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:58,680
You would just kind of push it 
away and just be like, oh, you 

214
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,160
know what? 
Like they didn't mean to blah, 

215
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,000
blah, blah, it's OK Well, now 
you're going to step into the 

216
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,280
version of yourself that's like,
I'm not dealing with that. 

217
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,400
I didn't like that. 
And you know what? 

218
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,720
Like I'm just not going to 
accept that anymore. 

219
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,000
I'm not someones pushover. 
And you know what? 

220
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,920
I'm going to make it clear 
because I deserve to stand up 

221
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,560
for myself. 
If he's just being inconsistent 

222
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:27,000
or even stressing you out, like 
I want you guys to understand 

223
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,080
that relationships are supposed 
to make your life easier, not 

224
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,760
harder. 
So if you find yourself like 

225
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,840
always struggling in your 
relationship and it's making you

226
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,880
feel triggered all the time, 
like you have this pit in your 

227
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,600
stomach, it's not supposed to be
like that. 

228
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,200
I used to experience this on a 
day-to-day basis for so long in 

229
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,040
my relationship and it didn't 
click until after the 

230
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,760
relationship. 
I was like, why do I feel so 

231
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,680
much better? 
I feel free and it's because my 

232
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,800
body was emotionally telling me 
like this is not for you. 

233
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,320
So if they're constantly 
stressing you out and making you

234
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:04,120
overthink and second guess your 
own value and self worth, that 

235
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,280
is your sign to take a step away
from them. 

236
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:11,560
Because that is a huge sign from
your body telling you like this 

237
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:16,160
person is digging up something 
or triggering something within 

238
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,920
you. 
You need to take a step away 

239
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,880
from them because they are 
clearly not in their most 

240
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,600
authentic version of themselves.
They clearly are probably 

241
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,000
mirroring something deep down 
within yourself concept, but 

242
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,840
they probably most likely are 
needing to work on themselves 

243
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,080
too because I'm not the type to 
say. 

244
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,800
Like a lot of people in the Law 
of Assumption community, they 

245
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,120
say like everything that has 
happened to you, you created for

246
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,720
yourself. 
But like, I don't necessarily 

247
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,720
agree with that. 
Like for example, people that 

248
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:51,720
are like cheated on repeatedly, 
it's not necessarily just your 

249
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,360
fault because that person has an
option, a decision like if they 

250
00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:01,000
are willing to cheat or not. 
I don't want you to fully take 

251
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,880
the blame for it. 
Okay back to what I was saying. 

252
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,000
Don't be afraid to take a step 
away from someone that you know.

253
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,720
Deep down right now you guys are
not on the same page. 

254
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,320
A lot of people will stay in 
relationships because they would

255
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:22,200
rather deal with that then be 
alone or fear that they're going

256
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,360
to lose them forever if they 
choose to not talk for a little 

257
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,080
bit. 
Like the whole break situation. 

258
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,240
A lot of people, when they go on
breaks and that's again where 

259
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:35,760
you need to make sure that you 
address yourself concept where 

260
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,560
you are not going to get jealous
or worried that if you take a 

261
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,640
break from this person like you 
tell them, look, I need time 

262
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,160
away from you. 
I need to focus on myself. 

263
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:49,800
You need to make sure that you 
are not going to make this even 

264
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,920
worse by becoming jealous or 
thinking that they're going to 

265
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,480
talk to other people or even 
being triggered that they're 

266
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,960
talking to other people. 
Because like for me example, 

267
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,800
like in myself concept, if I 
let's say we're to do that, I 

268
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,680
tell someone, OK, I don't want 
to be with you right now. 

269
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,720
Like let's just take a break. 
I will not get jealous. 

270
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,520
I'll actually be like, yeah, you
can talk to whoever you want. 

271
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,800
Like, I don't care. 
Nobody's a threat to me because 

272
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,720
I really do see how valuable I 
am. 

273
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,360
Like, I'm not going to sit here 
and cry. 

274
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:23,320
And even if you do talk to 
someone, I just know that, like,

275
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,640
you're not going to have the 
same connection that you had 

276
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:30,080
with them with me. 
Like I'm choosing to manifest 

277
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,800
that. 
Like our connection will always 

278
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,520
be stronger and you will always 
feel that connection no matter 

279
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,840
where you are. 
That's why I love manifestation.

280
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,800
Because you know, like you do 
have the ability to create your 

281
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,440
reality and tweak things. 
If you want someone to love you.

282
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,800
Obviously it's not like I don't 
want you to think like it's a 

283
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,960
forcing thing. 
It's more of like I'm addressing

284
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,400
the way I feel about myself. 
If I'm feeling really amazing 

285
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,840
about myself, I'm feeling 
magnetic as fuck. 

286
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,760
Naturally, that person is just 
going to view me that same way 

287
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,080
they're going to put me on a 
pedestal. 

288
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,320
So like anyone else that comes 
into their life, they're still 

289
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,720
going to be thinking about me. 
Because again, I am creating 

290
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,600
that experience for myself by 
just embodying the most 

291
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,760
authentic, magnetic version of 
myself. 

292
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,840
Now, creating boundaries means 
that when you say something, you

293
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,200
mean it, OK? 
Because you cannot commit to 

294
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,080
being like, OK, I want to have 
boundaries. 

295
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,520
I want to be someone that speaks
up for myself, but then you 

296
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:29,240
don't do anything about it 
because that is not going to 

297
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,600
work out. 
Because then you're going to 

298
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,760
show people like, OK, you're 
tough, but then they're going to

299
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,520
see that you actually don't mean
it. 

300
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,960
So you creating those boundaries
will mean nothing to those 

301
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,840
people because they're like, Oh 
yeah, like they'll change their 

302
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,920
mind. 
It's fine. 

303
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,560
Like, for example, if you create
a boundary with someone, like if

304
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,440
you lied to me about something 
serious and I find out that you 

305
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,160
lied about it, I'm out. 
And then let's say down the 

306
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,840
road, they lie to you and you 
find out about it, but you stick

307
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,680
around and you are like, oh, 
that's OK. 

308
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:03,960
They're not going to respect 
you. 

309
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,120
And I get it. 
Like, sometimes we will. 

310
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,280
For example, if you set a 
boundary where you're like, OK, 

311
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,680
obviously you believe in, like, 
a second chance depending on 

312
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,920
what they do. 
But let's say, like, lying's a 

313
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,880
really big thing for you. 
Like, for me, that's a really 

314
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,320
big thing. 
So you set the boundary with 

315
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,880
them. 
If you lie to me and I catch you

316
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,880
for the second time, I'm out, 
this is completely over. 

317
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,840
Obviously, we're probably 
saying, like, OK, let's say they

318
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,600
lied in the past, but then you 
forgave them and you told them, 

319
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,680
like, if you ever do this again,
this is done, I'm out. 

320
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,680
And then it happens again. 
And what do you do? 

321
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,840
You forgive them again? 
You're actually screwing 

322
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,600
yourself over at this point. 
And trust me, like I've been 

323
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,280
there, I've done that. 
And you know what? 

324
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,920
Don't give them a second chance.
You know, like I believe in 

325
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,120
giving them like one chance. 
OK, maybe it was an accident. 

326
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,920
Maybe you are meant for me. 
Maybe this will work out. 

327
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,920
But a second time they do it, 
OK, now they're just playing you

328
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,680
and now you're making yourself 
look like you don't hold any 

329
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,599
value or respect towards 
yourself. 

330
00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:13,240
And you don't want that. 
You don't want that for your own

331
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,040
self-image, and you don't 
deserve that. 

332
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,680
Like, you don't deserve that, 
regardless of who it is. 

333
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,000
And that's why I wanted to talk 
about this. 

334
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,839
I don't care even if it's like 
your family member, if you're 

335
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:27,599
obviously like, it's harder to 
cut out your family member. 

336
00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:31,160
I get it. 
But if your family member is 

337
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:35,600
disrespecting you and they're 
putting you down, you do not 

338
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,560
have to tolerate it. 
Sometimes you just need to speak

339
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,680
your truth on how you feel and 
stop bottling it up. 

340
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:46,360
Because when you continue to let
people put you down, it is just 

341
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:49,920
going to continue to make 
yourself feel degraded. 

342
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,080
And it's not a good feeling. 
But when you're able to even 

343
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,640
just stand up and be like, you 
know what? 

344
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,520
I'm going to put myself 1st and 
I'm not going to take that from 

345
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,440
you. 
It feels so good because it's 

346
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,880
like you got your own back. 
Sometimes it will feel like 

347
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,680
everyone's against you. 
Nobody has your back, and when 

348
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,840
everyone's putting you down, it 
hurts. 

349
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:14,080
But when you're able to support 
yourself, stand up for yourself,

350
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,080
at the end of the day, I got my 
own back and I'm going to make 

351
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,200
sure that I put me first and I 
take care of myself. 

352
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,640
That is so powerful because 
again, you build a deeper 

353
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,840
relationship with yourself like 
this, it's almost going to feel 

354
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:33,040
like no matter what happens, you
have yourself to fall back on. 

355
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,160
And that's again what I teach in
relationships, because when you 

356
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,800
are going through a rough patch 
in your relationships, you 

357
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,520
always will have yourself to 
fall back on. 

358
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:48,000
You shouldn't be relying 100% on
that person. 

359
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,840
And it's not coming from I don't
trust this person, but it's also

360
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:55,040
like I am independent person. 
I'm my own individual self. 

361
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,280
I don't need someone that can 
still take care of myself. 

362
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,360
Just because we are in a 
relationship does not mean that 

363
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:05,320
we can't have our own individual
lives and have our own things 

364
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,760
going for us. 
A healthy relationship should be

365
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:13,960
that you guys are both growing. 
You are helping each other grow 

366
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,800
more into a better individual. 
You guys are a team. 

367
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,280
Going back to the family thing. 
If your family member is telling

368
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,400
you I don't like the way you 
dress, you can't do that. 

369
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,040
And they're just like projecting
all these things to you. 

370
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:33,640
You can respectfully tell them, 
look, I don't appreciate this at

371
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,040
the end of the day, like I am 
still a human being. 

372
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,280
I don't care if I am your family
member. 

373
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,000
Like you would not say this to 
anyone else. 

374
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,880
Why do you think you can say it 
to me? 

375
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,280
Just because we're family? 
You're supposed to be loving to 

376
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,240
your family more than the other 
people in your life. 

377
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,800
Usually like toxic parents or 
like family members. 

378
00:19:54,120 --> 00:20:00,800
They will be so nice, so fake to
a far family, friend or like 

379
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,640
just random people, but they 
will be. 

380
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,560
So rude and harsh to their own 
family members, You should be 

381
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,640
more loving to your family 
members. 

382
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:14,080
And that really just shows like 
the more vulnerable and the more

383
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,280
you give to people, sometimes 
they'll take advantage of it. 

384
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,960
And that's why you need to step 
in those boundaries, especially 

385
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,920
in relationships. 
Guys like I talk about 

386
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,880
relationships all the time 
because that's my favorite thing

387
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,240
to talk about. 
But really like if you are 

388
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:31,320
spending so much time with 
someone and you're growing close

389
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,800
with them and they get 
comfortable with you, but almost

390
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,240
too comfortable to the point 
where they're disrespecting you,

391
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,280
you can't allow that. 
You don't deserve that, and you 

392
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,240
are no longer going to choose to
be the type of person that deals

393
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,240
with that. 
So when someone is trying to 

394
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:51,160
piss you off or doing something 
you don't like, just tell them I

395
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,880
don't want to deal with this. 
I don't appreciate this, and 

396
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,560
honestly, I don't know if I want
to deal with this. 

397
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,480
You can. 
You can even choose to leave 

398
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,440
like, Oh my God, the amount of 
people that I've cut off. 

399
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,000
Like, they just do something 
once. 

400
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,600
And I'm like, you know what, I 
don't like you as a person 

401
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,840
anymore Because if you're able 
to do this once, you're probably

402
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,360
going to do it again. 
And what's the point of me like 

403
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,160
playing around and just seeing 
like, oh, maybe they'll change, 

404
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,880
maybe they won't. 
Like, I just don't have the time

405
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,160
and energy for that. 
Obviously people do change. 

406
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,760
Of course they do. 
Like, I literally help my 

407
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,000
clients to have their specific 
person change. 

408
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,160
Yes, people change. 
But are you willing to persist 

409
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,640
through? 
That is the question. 

410
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,800
You know? 
Because sometimes they're just 

411
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,440
simply not worth your time and 
energy. 

412
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,040
That's truth. 
OK, so to wrap up today's 

413
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:40,840
episode, I want you to get clear
on who you no longer want to be.

414
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,800
OK? 
Like, what are the behaviors 

415
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:47,360
that you previously had that you
no longer want to have? 

416
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:51,320
Like, even write this down in a 
notebook or like in my workshop 

417
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,760
too, You can download my 
workshop where I have this all 

418
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,880
written out for you. 
Figure out who you no longer 

419
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:01,480
want to be, then choose to 
decide who you now want to be. 

420
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,800
And you got to step into that 
version of yourself. 

421
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,760
This is where taking action 
comes in. 

422
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,680
So people at first are going to 
view you as that old version. 

423
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,040
They're going to try to take 
advantage of you. 

424
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,720
They're going to try to get away
away with things and that's 

425
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,000
where you got to put them in 
your place. 

426
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,680
Like, no, actually, I'm not that
person anymore. 

427
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,160
You can't do that. 
This is how it is now, and they 

428
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,720
will be shook. 
And also, it really helps to 

429
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:27,200
just thinking throughout the day
as this new version, like I am 

430
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,960
that badass version of myself 
that is able to stand her 

431
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,000
grounds. 
Like, you can't mess with me. 

432
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,920
I'm not going to let people walk
all over me. 

433
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,760
You want to be inconsistent with
me? 

434
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,240
Well, I'm not going to entertain
that. 

435
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,680
I have better things to do. 
Like that's the type of energy 

436
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,560
you need to have now if you want
to change yourself. 

437
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:49,640
Concept of being someone that 
has boundaries set in place that

438
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,600
stands up for themselves. 
But that is all for today's 

439
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,160
episode. 
Thank you guys so much for 

440
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,240
listening. 
Thank you for everybody who is 

441
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,440
rating the podcast Five Stars. 
It makes me so happy. 

442
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,920
Thank you guys so much for 
listening and I will see you in 

443
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,040
the next episode.