1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,440 If you are constantly attracting toxic relationships, you are 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,000 always getting your heart broken. 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,800 You are never feeling valued in your relationships. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:12,200 It is not that all men are toxic, it is because you need to 5 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,680 work on yourself, specifically yourself. 6 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,760 Concept. If you have a pattern of dating 7 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,680 the same type of men that treat you the same way, it's most 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,720 likely the beliefs that you are holding about yourself. 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,840 The way that you are showing up in the relationship is what is 10 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,360 creating this relationship dynamic. 11 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,520 Now, if you find yourself constantly getting cheated on in 12 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,080 every single relationship, I don't want you to take full 13 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,480 accountability. But if you hold the belief that 14 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,040 all men cheat and that it's just natural for you to get cheated 15 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,840 on, that's what you're expecting, well then you will 16 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:52,200 have a tendency of attracting those exact experiences to you. 17 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,960 In today's episode, we're going to be specifically focusing on 18 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,880 healing anxious attachment styles and shifting to a secure 19 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,560 attachment style. Now, I will bring up avoidant 20 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:07,040 attachment style here and there, but the main focus for today is 21 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,120 anxious. If you struggle with anxious 22 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,640 attachment style, or you hold beliefs that love is hard and 23 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,960 that you care what other people think about you, you're 24 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:20,480 constantly seeking validation. This episode is for you, so 25 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,000 let's get to the root cause of where it all started. 26 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:29,240 I want you to look back and figure out how were you feeling 27 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,400 as a child with your parents? How are they showing up for you? 28 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,160 People who struggle with anxious attachment style most likely had 29 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,840 hot and cold behavior with their parents. 30 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,920 So one day their parent was being very loving and telling 31 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,200 them they're amazing and then the next day they would be a 32 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,920 completely different person. Get Mad Tell you that you're not 33 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,920 enough and it was always this roller coaster ride in your 34 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,640 childhood and that is where the anxiety stems from. 35 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:02,160 You are constantly unsure within yourself and you are waiting on 36 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,000 others to give you that validation. 37 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,280 A lot of people who have anxious attachment style also have 38 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,479 people pleasing tendencies, right? 39 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:14,240 Because you are constantly wanting to go out of your way 40 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,960 for others when people over have them like you, you have this 41 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,440 energy to you where you are constantly putting others before 42 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,000 yourself. People who have anxious 43 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,520 attachment style struggle to be alone. 44 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,720 They are constantly needing reassurance. 45 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,640 They feel that their self worth is dependent on how others 46 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:37,440 perceive them. You feel this need to perform 47 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,440 for love that you have to work hard for IT. 48 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,520 People with an anxious attachment style have a tendency 49 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,720 to overthink and they will also create stories in their head. 50 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,360 I personally used to struggle with anxious attachment style 51 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:56,760 and I would constantly overthink situations to the point that I 52 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,680 would manifest for them to just spiral out of control of the 53 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,040 tiniest things. That was never a problem. 54 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,280 For example, if someone doesn't respond to your text in a couple 55 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:13,040 of hours, in those couple of hours you are not able to think 56 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,800 straight. You are overthinking. 57 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,640 What if they are talking to someone else? 58 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,840 What if they're ignoring you? What are they doing? 59 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,760 Your mind is racing. This stems from your inability 60 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,320 to trust people with an anxious attachment style. 61 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,680 They really struggle to trust people. 62 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,360 Another thing that people with anxious attachment struggle with 63 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:38,080 is for some reason they feel as though they can't find better 64 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,400 than what they currently have. So they will put up with the 65 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,040 bullshit. They will allow people to 66 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:49,200 disrespect them just because they would rather have that than 67 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,600 be alone. And that is something I 68 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,600 personally struggled with. I found myself holding on to 69 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,640 relationships that I knew were not good for me. 70 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,480 My friends told me it's not good for my family and I still held 71 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,960 on to it because I truly believe that I could not find better. 72 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,160 And once I addressed this with myself concept and I really 73 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,520 started to understand how I am acting in relationships. 74 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,080 What am I thinking? Why am I doing these things? 75 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,560 I was more self aware. I was really able to shift that 76 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:22,040 and shift my beliefs and realize I can do better. 77 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:25,320 Like, why do I think that someone that's giving me bare 78 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:31,560 minimum is the best I will get? Now, it's very common for people 79 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,440 with an anxious attachment style to attract someone with an 80 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,920 avoidant attachment style. If you're unfamiliar with 81 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,280 avoidant attachment style, it is someone that is hyper 82 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:46,360 independent. They feel uneasy being intimate. 83 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,960 So for example they love the forming of a relationship, but 84 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,920 once things get serious they tend to flee because they just 85 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,840 feel they can't uphold this relationship. 86 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,680 Avoidant attachment style really value their alone time. 87 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,880 I find that avoidant attachment style, they're not the best at 88 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,760 communicating how they operate along with their hyper 89 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,480 independence. So if they want a load alone 90 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,120 time, they won't necessarily communicate it and that makes 91 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:22,000 the anxious attachment style spiral and start overthinking 92 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,120 things because again, they need that reassurance. 93 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,960 It is so important to understand your partner, how they operate, 94 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,400 how they feel towards certain things, because then it will 95 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,680 also help easing your anxiety as an anxious attachment style. 96 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,520 If you're an anxious attachment with an avoidant attachment, you 97 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,200 will most likely find yourself constantly chasing after this 98 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,560 person and it's not necessarily your fault or that other 99 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,200 person's fault. But if you want to make this 100 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,840 relationship work between you and your partner who is an 101 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,200 avoidant attachment style, you're going to have to create 102 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,040 communication. Because if the avoidant 103 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,440 attachment style is not communicating to you that they 104 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,720 want their space, how they feel about certain things, or they 105 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:09,000 don't feel like they can uphold this relationship, that's where 106 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,480 you need to come in and communicate how you are feeling 107 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,000 about certain things, what things that they do upset you. 108 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,320 And obviously you wouldn't approach this in an emotional 109 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,120 way. You would make sure that you are 110 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,160 first stabilized and then approach this topic with them. 111 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,960 The reason why anxious attachment always attracts the 112 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,720 avoidant is because they're constantly seeking that 113 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,880 reassurance and validation. It's almost like they enjoy the 114 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:36,600 chase, but at the same time they don't And an avoidant attachment 115 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,080 style. They prefer the anxious 116 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:44,160 attachment style because when a codependent, clingy person is 117 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,720 around them, they almost feel as though they are an amazing 118 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,000 person. They have this, like God complex 119 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,440 for them. It feels good to have someone 120 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,600 chasing after them, wanting them because it just again reinforces 121 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,880 the belief that like they're this amazing person that they 122 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,440 are on the pedestal. And so as an anxious attachment 123 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,920 style, it would actually benefit you to uphold some of these 124 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,560 beliefs. But I'm not going to sit here 125 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,440 and tell you to shift from an anxious attachment style to an 126 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,680 avoidant attachment style because again, avoidant 127 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,840 attachment style they struggle to in their relationships just 128 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,400 in a different manner. So now we're going to get into 129 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,560 secure attachment style. A secure attachment is able to 130 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,560 be detached from specific outcomes. 131 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,880 In a way, they are very go with the flow, but they have this 132 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,680 tendency of being very optimistic about things. 133 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,400 They trust that people have the best intentions for them. 134 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,800 They're able to uphold and maintain their relationships 135 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:48,280 because they are showing up in the most authentic version of 136 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,520 themselves. They are not here to play games. 137 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:55,000 They are feeling secure within themselves and that is also 138 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,920 reflecting onto their partner, which also is going to bring up 139 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,880 the partner. Secure attachment styles are 140 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,520 really good at communicating in a healthy way. 141 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,920 They don't like to get defensive. 142 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,320 So oftentimes if you try to argue with a secure attachment 143 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,920 style, you'll notice that they're not going to feed into 144 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,480 your anger. They'll almost take a step back. 145 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,920 They'll listen to what you have to say, and they're going to try 146 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,400 to come up with a solution where you both can compromise and 147 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,680 figure it out. It is actually very difficult to 148 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,360 get in a lot of arguments with the secure attachment style 149 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,040 because they will shut it down, but they're not going to shut it 150 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,200 down in an avoidant way and like, step away from it. 151 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,799 They're just going to listen to what you have to say. 152 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,640 They will not necessarily agree with you, but they will 153 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,320 understand you, make you feel heard and they will explain how 154 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,480 they feel about the situation and then they're just going to 155 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,400 want to find a solution. And it's like, how do you even 156 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,080 get mad at someone like that? In my opinion, I think that is 157 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:58,560 so attractive where you can have a disagreement with someone. 158 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,200 They listen to you, you feel good, you feel heard. 159 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,320 And then you just both of you just decide, OK, how are we 160 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,480 going to fix this? Where if you're an anxious 161 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,160 attachment style and an avoidant, it's going to be so 162 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,240 hard when you have a disagreement because you most 163 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,000 likely are going to be feeling upset about something, right? 164 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,640 So you go to the avoidant attachment style and you tell 165 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,040 them that you didn't like something. 166 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,160 They're going to think that there's a problem with you. 167 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,960 They're going to be like, oh, maybe I shouldn't be with you. 168 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,400 I don't know if this is something I want to do because, 169 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,240 again, they, they like to step away from things that are 170 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,560 difficult. They're not the type to be like, 171 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,960 OK, let's fix this. They're more like, I don't know 172 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,960 how to deal with this. So I'm just going to step away 173 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,040 from it and hope that it works out on its own. 174 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,760 And that can be very toxic. And that can be very hard for an 175 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,640 anxious attachment style because again, you are not feeling 176 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,000 heard, you are not getting that reassurance. 177 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,400 And then again, that avoided attachment style is making you 178 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,480 think that you are the problem, that there is something wrong 179 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,600 with you, that it's not good for you to approach people with the 180 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,240 things that you are struggling with. 181 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,560 It's really important to assess, even look back in your previous 182 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,760 relationships, what type of person were you dating? 183 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,400 Were they secure attachment style? 184 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,120 Were they anxious? Were they avoidant? 185 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:20,360 And then try to look and see why were things happening the way 186 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,160 they were, or if you were with someone currently, or if you're 187 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,280 manifesting a specific person back, because that is also what 188 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,440 I teach. Try to figure out who are they 189 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,560 as a person. Understand what they are about. 190 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:36,360 Once you understand who your partner is, how they think, how 191 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,120 they act, how they feel, then it's going to be really 192 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,960 beneficial for you because then you're going to have a better 193 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,040 understanding. When you start to understand 194 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,200 someone better, you start to feel a different type of way 195 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,040 towards them. It's almost you build a stronger 196 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,880 connection to them because you're like, I understand you 197 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,360 and you don't even have to tell them that you understand them, 198 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,240 you just understand you know how they operate. 199 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,800 And that really is beneficial because then you can use that to 200 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,440 your advantage. In order to shift from an 201 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,960 anxious attachment to a secure attachment, you first need to 202 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:13,360 stop identifying as someone that is an anxious attachment style. 203 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,880 I do not want you to feel like there is something wrong with 204 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,800 you, that you have to spend years trying to heal this within 205 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,880 you, because you can just choose to identify as someone with a 206 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,280 secure attachment style and naturally you will start 207 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,920 operating as one. You'll start to even attract 208 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,320 people who are secure attachments into your life and 209 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,040 you will see how they operate, how they behave, and you're 210 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,280 going to start to really understand what this behavior is 211 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,000 like and how to start embodying it. 212 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,760 The first thing I really recommend doing. 213 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:52,160 I love this exercise because every single time I do it, I 214 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,440 just feel like the best version of myself. 215 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,840 So the first thing we're gonna do is I want you to think of 216 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,640 your partner, your specific person. 217 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,480 If you don't have one, that's OK You can just look back into 218 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,000 maybe a previous partner that you had in the past. 219 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:11,400 But I want you to look at how do you feel around them. 220 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,680 Oftentimes we want people because they make us feel 221 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,840 connected to a version of ourselves that we feel like we 222 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,600 don't have access to when we are alone. 223 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,360 Every single relationship you are in, they are providing 224 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,360 something for you. You are with them because they 225 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,600 provide you with something that you are attracted to that you 226 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,000 want to be around. So I want you to figure out what 227 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,400 is it about this person that when you're with them, you feel 228 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,080 a certain type of way. What are they giving you in this 229 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,480 relationship that you so desperately want? 230 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,920 If it's the feeling of being wanted, of being loved, you're 231 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,200 going to give that to yourself. You're going to find a way to 232 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:57,200 make yourself feel loved. If it's the feeling of 233 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:02,360 stability, of security, maybe they are very financially well 234 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,160 off. Well, then I want you to find a 235 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,840 way for you to provide that for yourself. 236 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,640 Of course it's amazing to have your man provide for you and 237 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,360 take care of you. But always make sure that you 238 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,520 can also take care of yourself, that you have that money set 239 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:20,160 aside just for yourself, so you can buy the nice things for 240 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,640 yourself if you want to. You don't have to ask for 241 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,560 anything from others. If it's the way that they make 242 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:31,080 you feel physically, the intimacy, well, I want you to 243 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,000 give that to yourself. Find a way to create that space 244 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:39,040 within yourself. The goal of this is to not rely 245 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,200 on anybody. That you don't need anybody to 246 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,560 make your world feel complete, that you already have it 247 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,560 complete. Anybody that you choose to have 248 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:53,200 in your life is just an addition to the amazing life that you are 249 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,760 already living, and you become so magnetic when you feel 250 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,160 complete. And that is really what it is 251 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:05,080 for a secure attachment style that you feel fulfilled already, 252 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:10,400 that you don't need anything on the outside to come in and make 253 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,720 you feel happy. No, you are already happy. 254 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,520 By doing this you're killing off that old identity that needs 255 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,760 others to make you feel validated. 256 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:25,240 The need to hold on to things that you know are not serving 257 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,800 you but you continue to hold on to them because you feel that 258 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,560 you can't have anything. By doing this you're killing off 259 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:37,280 that old identity, that old self concept that always feels the 260 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:41,480 need to have other people make you feel validated that other 261 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,200 people's opinions matter. Next step is to become self 262 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,560 aware of how you are thinking and feeling about yourself and 263 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,560 in relationships. Ask yourself questions like why 264 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,320 do I need to be around others to feel happy? 265 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,400 What am I afraid of when I am alone? 266 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,040 Why don't I enjoy spending time alone with myself? 267 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:08,000 What experiences in my childhood caused me to believe that 268 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,240 relationships are hard, that I need to fight for love? 269 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:16,160 That I need to wait for people to choose me? 270 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,520 What are my fears and insecurities? 271 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,240 Why do I care if I am not good enough for others? 272 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:28,320 Try to look at scenarios or experiences in the past where 273 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,840 you were reacting in unfavorable way. 274 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,800 For example, if someone isn't responding to your messages for 275 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:41,520 hours, how are you gonna react? Are you thinking all day about 276 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,200 what they're doing? Why they are not reaching out to 277 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,040 you? What if they're gonna break up 278 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,480 with you? Or are you choosing to be secure 279 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,320 and assume no, I know they'll reach out to me. 280 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,320 I'm not going to sit here and be worried. 281 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,520 I know that I'm a catch. I know that I have plenty of 282 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,560 options. So I'm not going to sit here and 283 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,960 think that if this one person isn't going to choose me that I 284 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:09,120 don't have a whole line up of other people that would be so 285 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,280 happy to even get a chance to talk to me. 286 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,120 You need to start putting yourself on that pedestal. 287 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,280 You need to start feeling good within yourself. 288 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:24,760 And once you start feeling this way, when you genuinely believe 289 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,480 that you are an amazing partner, that you have plenty of options, 290 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,880 that you don't have to worry about anything. 291 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:36,920 People are always showing up in the most amazing way. 292 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:41,640 They have so much love for you. People only have good intentions 293 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,520 with you. Then you are not going to 294 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,000 entertain the story of what if they don't like me? 295 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 I'm not good enough. What if they're going to ghost 296 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,360 me? What if they're going to abandon 297 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,560 me? I'm worried of them leaving me. 298 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,440 You would feel so good within yourself that you could care 299 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,000 less. Oh, you want to leave? 300 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,040 OK, I don't care. I know that I'm amazing. 301 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,560 And if you want to leave, that's your loss. 302 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:07,240 Like, I'm the prize here. You really think I'm going to 303 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:11,760 spend my whole day crying? No, I'm actually going to focus 304 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:12,880 on myself. I'm going to go to the gym. 305 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,319 I'm going to go hang out with my friends. 306 00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,280 I'm going to go put me first and I'm going to let you, in the 307 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:22,160 meantime, realize how much of an amazing person you are missing 308 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,480 out on. And that is where the detachment 309 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,800 comes in with the secure attachment style. 310 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,400 Even if a secure attachment style knows that something is 311 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,880 off, maybe, like they're not sure where things are going to 312 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,880 go, they're not going to let their mind wander off and think, 313 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,400 worst case scenario, they're going to stay grounded. 314 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,240 They're going to stay confident and just knowing that you know 315 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,760 what, everything is happening for a reason. 316 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,000 And I'm just going to sit here and trust, because I know that 317 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:53,160 there is no logical reason for me to be overthinking things 318 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:57,000 right now. This is where you need to make 319 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,960 sure that you are catching yourself with how you are 320 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,520 behaving, whether you're in contact or no contact. 321 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,160 How are you acting? Let's say that you are in no 322 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,760 contact with someone, but you're in the process of manifesting 323 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,880 them back. Are you anxiously stalking their 324 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,680 Instagram, checking their following if it went up or down? 325 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:21,360 Are you like posting on your story just so they can see it? 326 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,960 Because if you're doing that, that is not coming from a secure 327 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,040 attachment style. That is your limiting beliefs 328 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,880 of. I don't know if I'm chosen, I 329 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,400 don't know if this person wants me, so I'm just gonna throw 330 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,240 spaghetti at a wall and see what sticks. 331 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,720 You want to know how a secure attachment style would handle 332 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,440 being in no contact. They would not be overthinking. 333 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,200 They would be choosing to believe. 334 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,360 I love myself. I am amazing person. 335 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,560 I bring so much value into my relationships. 336 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,840 I know it's really hard to replace me. 337 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,840 They're not spending their time stalking social media. 338 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,440 They're probably at the gym. They're probably going out for a 339 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,480 walk. They're probably just living 340 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,880 their best life, holding positive beliefs about 341 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,320 themselves and trusting and being like, you know what? 342 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,320 Like I know this person's going to reach out. 343 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,600 I don't have to sit here and be fake. 344 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:18,680 Post stories act like I'm happy when on the inside I am so 345 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,960 unhappy I am desperate. I am literally just waiting for 346 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,840 you to view my story. The truth is, they can 347 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,880 energetically feel that like people are not dumb. 348 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,520 People can sense your energy right through the screen. 349 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:37,080 You ever see someone post a video and you could just like 350 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:41,000 just the way that they are looking at the camera or 351 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,720 speaking, You're just like, I can sense their energy and like, 352 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,080 I don't know about this person, Well, it's kind of like the same 353 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,360 thing If you are posting on your stories strictly with the 354 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,560 intention of this person seeing you and you are coming across, 355 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:02,800 desperate people can feel it. You cannot fool energy, OK? 356 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,520 Like I know. That a lot of people think that 357 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,160 they can. But trust me, people can sense 358 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,720 it. What really helped me heal my 359 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,360 anxious attachment style is being around people with a 360 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,080 secure attachment style. And I would just observe the way 361 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,400 they act, like I would see the way that they respond to certain 362 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,360 things. And I was like, oh, you know 363 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,240 what? That's actually really 364 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,080 attractive. I want to have that trait too, 365 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,200 because I don't want to sit here and overthink like it doesn't 366 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,240 feel good for me and I'd rather just be someone that is 367 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,720 confident within themselves and just has things come to them. 368 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,360 So whenever you catch yourself, trust me, you'll know when 369 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,280 you're thinking like, should I do this? 370 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,520 Is this coming across desperate? Ask yourself what would the 371 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:54,000 secure version of me do in this situation and you will get the 372 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000 answer. Because trust me, your higher 373 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,280 self knows you cannot fool your higher self. 374 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:04,040 There is just something so attractive about someone who 375 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:08,600 knows how to respond well to situations that are unfavorable. 376 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:13,880 Even if someone tells you something that you are not happy 377 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,800 of, like deep down it's like damn, I wish you didn't say 378 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,520 that. For example, if someone says I'm 379 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,240 not really interested in you, I think we should be friends. 380 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:26,200 You can choose to let that affect you and become really 381 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,080 desperate and be like, why don't you think I'm enough? 382 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,200 Why don't you want to be with me? 383 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,920 I've done all this for you. Or you can be very attractive, 384 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,880 very confident and be like, that's OK, and just hold in the 385 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,680 knowing that they'll change their mind. 386 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:45,080 You're not the type of person that people say no to and you 387 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,360 don't care how long it takes. But eventually they'll realize 388 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:52,240 they'll come around. And the more calm and relaxed 389 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,760 you are in situations, the more people are really attracted to 390 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,280 it because it's not as common as you think it is. 391 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:05,320 Especially with men, they really do value a woman that is able to 392 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,920 just stay relaxed and grounded. It's almost to the point that 393 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:13,880 like no matter what he's doing, he is not gonna have the ability 394 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:18,440 to make you spiral and put you into a place where you are not 395 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,680 feeling good enough. Like, no, no, no, no. 396 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,520 I'm not the problem here. If someone ghosts you, you can 397 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,880 either choose to let that affect you or you can be like, that's a 398 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,920 you problem, you're lost and just literally like, what a 399 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,600 joke. You're actually funny. 400 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,600 Like you guys might think I'm crazy, but I've had an 401 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,560 experience where I've been ghosted. 402 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,360 I've I've been ghosted a few times, but they've always come 403 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,600 back. Like there has never been a time 404 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,880 where someone in my life has never come back. 405 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,680 And I truly believe that the reason why is because once 406 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:55,120 something unfavorable happens to me, I pick myself up so fast. 407 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,320 Like, yes, I'll process my emotions. 408 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,240 I'm a girl, That's just what we do. 409 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,360 But after I'm done my little crying session, I'm going to be 410 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,760 picking myself up, leveling myself up. 411 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,240 Like you think I'm going to spend a month trying to get over 412 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,360 you. No, life goes on. 413 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,240 I'm going to get on with my other goals. 414 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,080 I'm going to focus on me. And I trust that through the 415 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,280 process, you're just going to show up and you're going to be 416 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,760 like, what's up? How you been? 417 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,120 And I'm going to be like, oh, I've been actually amazing 418 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:23,840 without you. Thanks for asking. 419 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,640 And that also ties into manifesting. 420 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,240 Like when you're not approaching things from a desperate way, 421 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,040 you're focused on you. You're feeling like you can have 422 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,720 whatever you want. You are just trusting that the 423 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,360 universe is just working in your everything is going to just come 424 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,600 into an alignment. If you're manifesting a specific 425 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,480 person, you definitely don't want to be caught up with all 426 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,440 the techniques, spending hours of your day affirming for them 427 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,200 and then being this desperate energy. 428 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,760 And then they come back and they say, oh, how have you been? 429 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,240 Like, what have you been up to? Oh yeah, I've just been 430 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:03,200 affirming your name repeatedly for hours, and I've been waiting 431 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,640 on you to come back this whole time like I'm not here to shit. 432 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,960 Talk on manifestation techniques. 433 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,040 If you feel good doing that, and it works for you, good. 434 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,840 But you know what? If it's making you stress out 435 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:22,520 and it's triggering you even more, Drop that, Drop that 436 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,480 technique. Because honestly, you do not 437 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,320 need affirm all day to see your manifestation. 438 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:32,640 It is enough by just choosing to identify with the new version of 439 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:37,040 yourself that has it that gets what she wants that it's natural 440 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:41,880 for you to get treatment or natural for you to have people 441 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,040 pursue you come back into your life. 442 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:47,120 Like for example. I also believe that the reason 443 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:50,040 why all of my exes have come back without me even doing a 444 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,760 single manifestation technique is because I also held the self 445 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,520 concept. That belief that my exes 446 00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:00,320 realized that they will never find someone like me. 447 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,120 I was also not hyper focused on them coming back because I also 448 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:07,200 I didn't want them back. When I work with my coaching 449 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,520 clients, we always go over that. This is not a trying process, 450 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,000 that it shouldn't have to feel like a chore or a really hard 451 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,920 task. You are simply just going to 452 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:24,080 focus on yourself and really step into the identity, the self 453 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:28,720 concept that is able to create those experiences like it's just 454 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,040 natural for you. You really need to believe that 455 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,760 you are deserving of anything you want. 456 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,840 And when you're in a self concept that holds contradicting 457 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,440 beliefs, where you are struggling to believe that you 458 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,520 deserve something, that's where it comes to addressing why do 459 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,760 you feel that you don't deserve this? 460 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:54,240 What in your reality right now is showing you that you don't 461 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,520 deserve it? Is it that because they told you 462 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:01,400 that they don't want to be with you and you believe that that is 463 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,640 the truth? That people can't change, you 464 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,480 can't fix relationships and that is why you are struggling to 465 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,160 believe that you will attract them back? 466 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,200 Or maybe you have an assumption that you are not chosen first, 467 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,080 that others come before you, that you are never the top 468 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:21,680 priority. That's where you need to address 469 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:22,960 yourself. Concept. 470 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,520 Who do you no longer want to be? What behaviors? 471 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,480 What characteristics? What personality traits are you 472 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,760 so tired of having that you want to get rid of Because you know 473 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,040 what? If you don't like something 474 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,480 about yourself, you can change it. 475 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:44,520 In my workshop I have so many worksheets that strictly go over 476 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,720 yourself concept asking you very detailed questions. 477 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:53,480 If you've taken my workshop, you would see that there are so many 478 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:57,960 worksheets that are strictly targeted for self concept. 479 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,440 The reason why is because when you are able to identify how you 480 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,800 are currently operating, how you are currently thinking, what are 481 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:10,400 you accepting into your life. It's really easy for you to 482 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,280 understand yourself better and then also realize, OK, I need to 483 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,120 work on this and that is how I'm gonna change within myself 484 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,680 concept and that is how I'm gonna experience different 485 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,480 results. For example, you go through all 486 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,080 of the self concept prompts and you realize that you most 487 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,120 dominantly struggle in the ability to trust in 488 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:32,680 relationships that people have the best intentions for you. 489 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,120 You would then be aware, OK, I struggle with this. 490 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:40,360 I need to address this belief and shift it so then I'm able to 491 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,720 create a new self concept within myself where I am able to trust. 492 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:48,440 I want you to understand that nothing is ever set in place. 493 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,320 You are changing and evolving as a person every single day based 494 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,640 off the experiences that you are having on a day-to-day basis. 495 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:02,480 So if you are able to shift that limiting belief from I'm not 496 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,200 able to trust in relationships to I'm starting to believe that 497 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,560 I can trust in my relationships, that people have good intentions 498 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,040 towards me. And you keep repeating that 499 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:17,960 story in your mind and telling yourself that as a result you 500 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:22,280 will start to identify as someone that is able to trust. 501 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:27,000 You're going to start to feel stabilized with telling yourself 502 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,400 that it's going to be natural for you to choose to believe 503 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,560 that that is all that self concept work really is. 504 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:39,600 It's just being self aware, identifying who you currently 505 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,040 are. Where are you struggling? 506 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,640 Why do you struggle with that choosing? 507 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,520 OK, well I can take a growth approach with this. 508 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,560 How can I shift this about myself? 509 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,120 I actually want to be this type of person now and now. 510 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,960 From now on, you're going to be telling yourself a new story. 511 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:59,280 Yeah, I am this type of person, regardless of the circumstances. 512 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,520 Even if things in your life are telling you and show you the 513 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,440 complete opposite, this person blocked you on everything and 514 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,920 they don't want to be with you, blah blah blah, You can still 515 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,560 choose to be like I'm able to fix my relationships. 516 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,760 I love myself. I know my worth. 517 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,560 I know I'm an amazing person to be with and I know that 518 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,240 everything is going to work out my favor in this situation. 519 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,880 Forget your specific person, Just think about this. 520 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,120 You are able to create stability within yourself. 521 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,400 You are able to feel good within yourself. 522 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,120 That is so important. So if you are able to hold 523 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,480 beliefs that just make you feel good and you have this ability 524 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:39,160 to trust, the manifesting aspect is just going to come naturally. 525 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,040 It's just going to come to you based on who you are being. 526 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:47,760 I want to wrap up today's episode with a few self concept 527 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:52,000 questions that will really help you have a better understanding 528 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,840 of yourself. And if you want, you can even 529 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,680 grab a piece of paper and journal about this and try to 530 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,080 figure out where you are struggling. 531 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:05,080 The journal prompts are why do I worry about what others think of 532 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,480 me? Why do I need someone else's 533 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,680 presence to make me feel happy? Do I have a tendency of having 534 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:16,440 compulsive behaviors such as stalking, obsessing, chasing, 535 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,240 being clingy? Do I have my own self soothing 536 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:25,120 way of processing my emotions? Do I find myself constantly 537 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:29,240 overthinking situations to the point that it causes a lot of 538 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,840 anxiety? Do I believe that I can change 539 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,760 as a person? Do I have a negative attachment 540 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:41,680 formed to my specific person? Do I have a tendency of 541 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,480 developing negative attachments in my relationships? 542 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:50,080 What fears do I have around relationships? 543 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,760 Asking yourself these questions is really going to help with 544 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,120 identifying how you are currently operating, how you 545 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,520 view yourself, the beliefs that you currently have and from 546 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,200 there you're going to choose. Who do you now want to be? 547 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:08,560 What do you now want to believe? You can even look at people in 548 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,800 your life or even on social media that are maybe in a self 549 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,800 concept that you want to be. I find this really helps where 550 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:20,360 you can have an idea of of the type of person that you want to 551 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,400 become specifically in relationships, that confidence 552 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,480 that you want to have. And when you find yourself in 553 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,080 undesirable circumstances, you can take a step back and 554 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,120 realize, no, actually I'm not going to react the way I used 555 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,880 to. I'm actually choosing to be a 556 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:39,360 different person that shows up differently and I'm not going to 557 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,640 handle the situation the way I used to. 558 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:46,600 I'm going to handle it in a respectful, attractive way. 559 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,040 That is a wrap for today's episode. 560 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,520 Thank you so much you guys for listening to today's episode and 561 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:57,080 rating the podcast Five Stars. I appreciate it so much. 562 00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,400 If you are looking to work with me one-on-one, you can sign up 563 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:04,280 in the link in my description. Or if you are looking to 564 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:08,360 download the workshop that I mentioned in today's episode, 565 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,160 you can also find that in the description. 566 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,920 I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for listening 567 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,440 and I will see you in the next episode.