Romancing the Dungeon is a softcore D&D podcast about
heroes navigating their daily lives while looking for love in
a world full of peril, monsters, and heartbreakers.
This show is intended for mature audiences as it contains adult
themes who are the best kind, but not the softcore thirst.
Oh, what's that point? Content warnings for specific
episodes can be found in the episode description.
So my bad, but I didn't listen to the last episode.
Could somebody catch me up over Hedge?
There's a explosive blast. Listen, I know you're not happy
with the solution, but either we stay here and everyone dies or
we start moving into the village.
Unless you have a better idea. I don't.
I simply asked that we figure out what we would do when we
catch there. We can figure that out when we
get there. If we wait any longer, they will
get to us. Cloda.
I'll be right behind you. Don't hang back too long, OK?
Where are we going? He has to talk to you.
Who? Kappa whispering.
Saw you have. One more time, what is going on?
I cast to spell magic on Ragnar. Are you the tarot?
You can call me Temperance, but since I'm going to kill you, I
guess it doesn't really matter. Rule for initiative?
Are you lonely, miserable, or just plain horny?
Well, you've taken the first step to solving your problems.
At least you're dating ones. Welcome to DE 8 devoted,
desired, dreamy or dirty dapper dates for dejected daters.
My name is Roz Grapers, founder, CEO, and love wizard.
And are you excited for love? Well, strap in and on because
we're throwing out the trash in our D8 Services clearance sale.
We've got exes, missed connections, and overbearing
Klingons. All price to go.
Say goodbye to loneliness and hello to bargains.
Hurry up, these deals won't last forever, just like most of your
past relationships. What's your hidden talent?
I am oddly good at picking stuff up with my toes.
Here, look, drop your quill, I'll show you.
Oh, God, Put your boots back on. So I'm going to request.
I'm so sorry. We just need to actually
sanitize the recording space. So sorry.
OK. I mean, I don't really know if
it's appropriate to say is I can, I can just.
I suppose I'm just trying to show who I am.
Yeah. So I can tie a cherry stand with
my. Show me.
And then that's what you beep. Oh.
I learned how to play a blade of grass when I lived in the Grove.
Oh my God. But we all went to theatre
school. OK, That is the saddest thing
I've ever heard. You weren't demon the tree.
Before I answer, I'm sorry to this kind of.
No, no, it's OK. You can talk about your.
OK, you know more than I know. I'm just like this.
Lives in a liminal space. I'm breaking.
I don't know. You gave me this character
sheet. What are my sitting talents?
I've got so many things that are happening to me.
Who am I? Quite.
The performer is outrageous. Who knew the guy was an actor?
There's a heavy tension that presses here in this cavernous
chamber. The sound of water cascading
overhead and spilling into the well below filled silence with
this rhythmic, fast-paced drum beat.
The walls around you are slick, wet and a layer of dust that
seems to coat from centuries of decay.
There's an aroma of damp that lingers in the air, but for all
of you, your eyes are drawn to the centre of this room and
downwards you watch as the swirly whirly the well stirs and
turns violently. This viscous slurry of death
bones ooze just sort of swirling all around, floating just above
the edge of the well. Brother Ragnar of the moon's
Shadow. His gaze pierces yours.
The look in his eyes is cold and calculating.
There is the tiniest curl of a smile on his face.
You see his whiskers sort of twitch.
You have arisen to nothing, failed heroes.
Your bodies will be piled upon all the others, and you'll
simply be remembered as thorns in my side, in the side of the
tarot. And the smile widens, and he
seems to sort of drift forward. You never really understood the
game, any of you. You've been playing at heroes,
meddling in things far beyond your grasp.
But now, now all of that comes to an end, and any shred of
usefulness that you could have brought discarded.
His hands move and you see his eyes flicker and the sludge
underneath his feet bubbles violently.
Welfare Initiative. Got 2 natural 20s in a row.
Just not 20 plus. Plus 4/24. 2020 Get hard in
2420. 20 Unnatural. 10 Yeah. So AJ, you have a free action
and then you as in one free action and then you take your
turn as normal, OK. And he is, he's standing like
he's now having you watch. It's that thing of this giant
BLOB of gunk and bone and rot kind of flops over the edge.
And where he had been standing on the water, he kind of surges
forward and he's now standing in front of the well, kind of
looking towards the at the stairwell.
So kind of about 3540 feet from you.
And it's your row. You know, it'd be really useful
right now. A bow.
Yeah, I thought it. Was attached to you.
No, I put prior it in the ground and Gilshire somewhere.
I suppose I'll use my reaction to close the distance.
He is he kind of slightly up raised elevated out of the
water. No, he came up.
Out of it and then moved forward and is now on the edge of the
well, running down the stairs past Ivan and Nate.
It's your turn. The next it's that using the
rest moving to close in on top of Ragnar.
OK, Ragnar. And and for the record, this
thing is known as an elder oblux.
This oozing violent thing. They are there's about 10 feet
between them. So you don't provoke an attack
opportunity from it by moving past him.
But it does kind of flop a little bit kind of towards you.
It kind of it's it knows you're there in its space.
You can. I close the distance, take out
my little training swords that I got from the castle.
It's like a level 1, a little wooden weapon and I.
That was a really good time to decide that your character needs
something new going on for sure. Yeah, my thinking was the most
identifiable part of AJ being a spoke could be used to locate
object and tracks. So I was trying to clear my
tracks, yeah. So we've pulled a sword off a
suit of armour in the hallway, and a random.
Suit of armour and. It was wood.
No, I'm I'm making a joke that like it's the beginner sword
that I have. All right, eye tackle does a 18
or 27 hit. Both.
Hit nice. AJ takes out a sword and attacks
twice and arranged like a rage that has never been within him
before, fills him and he finds for the first time in his life
the ability to attack 1/3 time does a 17 hit. 17 hits.
Nice that is 7 and 11 is 18 + 9 is 27.
AJ just bursts past you, Nate Fester, he almost kind of shoves
you a half out of the way as he crashes down the staircase,
races past the elder Oblix and again almost barrels into Ragnar
and with that, drawing out your short sword it's.
Sort of like a training Cortana thing.
I think the way the art is, it's like, it doesn't have like a
true yeah, it's yeah. OK, drawing out his sword.
I'll just go with that because it's kind of, it's a sort of
nondescript. Ultimately, nobody cares.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not a bows, yeah.
Yeah, people don't listen to shows for flavour.
I want all cold hard facts. Just slashes it across Ragnar
brings it straight up into his shoulder and then down his
front. Just these 3 deep wounds and it
looks as if the tabaxi has been split in half so deep does a JS
blade cut through. It's not skin, it's not bone.
Ragnar splits in two as you see him just again literally almost
fall into pieces and there's now two of them and he just again
you see his this wiry cat smile on his face and they both kind
of roll their bones. This is how people end up with
six cats. Bonus action Nothing, that is.
OK, it is Hephesta. You see Ragnar just with a JS
blade kind of cutting through him fall in two.
Are they 2 smaller Ragnar's? Nope, they're the exact same
size. In a very similar way, I think
this is a rage and a festa that she's used to but also maybe
hasn't felt in a while. Like this is something that used
to come naturally to her and has kind of faded away.
And AJ is quite close to the Ragnars, is he?
Yeah, he's right on him. Yeah.
She's going to throw a chromatic orb at the the goo about
sloshing around so that is a so it's a 24 to hit.
That hits. That is 32 damage and a 10 on
the swirling motions. What's the?
Type of damage, We'll go lightning.
OK. It's that thing of like, uh, no,
you can't focus on the 2 Ragnars and AJ.
That's a JS thing to deal with. You feel this kind of panic and
a rush into you. Uh, there's two of them.
There's two of these pricks and then it's no the objects.
At least if I can stop that AJ and Nate can take on.
And you turn, holding your hand up and just lightning crackling
around the ends of it. It spins faster and faster, and
then there is just this crackling ball of lightning in
your hand and it blasts forward. It wallops into the oblacs and
you see it's entire form just as electricity courses through it.
It shifts and spikes and lurches and it's form hardens as just
these chunks of not even kind of spikes, just jagged edges just
erupt out of it and it wobbles back into it's shape and
emerging out of it, looking pained, looking torn.
You see Kyle's face. Give me another role on the
swirling emotions. 14. The guilt is that is that what
is that what that is? The fear, the hurt.
You push it. Not you don't push it down, you
push it away. It is so that was your action
bonus action. No, no, not yet.
OK, and it is Ragnar one holds his hand up the the new Ragnar
as he casts spiritual weapon and a large size just cuts through
the air, whisping past you, Nate, like it's like lurches and
then hovers just in front of you and it goes to swing at you.
Try me. I mean, I am 27 to hit.
Yeah, 14 damage as the scythe. Just again, it's just this wisp
of dark green and burning yellow light as it just slashes down
into the original Ragnar. You'd think AJ, he gets really,
really close to you and you can feel kind of like the heat off
of him as he casts inflict wounds on you.
That's a dirty 20 to hit. A dirty 20 to hit meets it,
beats it. No needs.
There's no point in casting Shields, so you do hit.
Take 23 necrotic damage. 23 How dare you?
You feel just his hand touch you and just these cuts RIP and
slash into you, up along into your shoulder, at your neck,
just stopping below your chin as he kind of half shunts you back
at that moment. The Oblacs sensing you Hafesta
and what you just did, it just kind of bowls over itself.
Uh, if you see it kind of flatten on the ground and then
it kind of surges forward. It just has the movement to
reach you and a large. Uh, like.
Tentacle like arm just kind of like flits up out into the air
and swipes at you for a 13 to hit.
Nope. It smashes in.
It hits the wall behind you and just a large chunk of it's taken
out. You see the kind of the the the,
the tend to feel like arm just like wobble back and whipped
violently and it is sucked back into the obliques.
Nate right. Can I see over the sort of the
precipice down where like Ragnar and that's where he was.
You were kind with it. You were at the top of the
staircase. Yeah.
So you can see the two Ragnar's. You see AJ on top of them.
The Oblix is now on top of or is in a festive space that's only
about 15 feet from you. The 2 Ragnars and AJ are 30 feet
away and 20 feet down. OK, so where I'm going to make a
big move for you, big moves for me.
I mean, it's one of my, it's one of my go to's knock.
Let me in that door. Let me in that door.
Shatter has a 60 foot range and the stone just explodes with it.
So I'm going to in a 10 foot sphere.
So I want to put center the point of shatter between the two
Ragnars. They have to do a deck save
right? Con save.
Oh, can't save of 17. Are you sure it's Yeah, can't
save of 17. Oh, for fuck's sake.
Oh yeah. I've stuck with the G level, all
of you. I don't like this high end play.
I'm uncomfortable with it. That's why I make disgusting
weird monsters for you to find. So 16 for the first Ragnar
support. Ragnar's fail.
Yeah, they both fail. So 21 points of damage for each
of them. OK, and also, does that affect
the spiritual weapon that was cast because he used to make a
con safe? OK, 11.
So just yeah, the size is still up.
Like fuck something to maim you all.
There is just this there's a moment where you just see you
all like you, you all hear it, then it's gone.
The water what the above the waterfall.
There is just this explosion as the water splashes against the
far wall of 50 feet away from you.
And the two Ragnars are blasted in this back by this thunderous
explosion, and you see both of them kind of bend forward
violently, almost inhumanly. They buckle a little and they
stand firm. It is AJ.
Oh, sorry. Bonus action, bonus action me.
I'm just going to give, I'm going to give AJ barrack
inspiration because I never do that.
Why not twiddly D you obviously barrack inspiration.
You just never. Give a take that's fair.
Sheathed my weapon and then in that same movement bop it back
out and attack three times again.
There's a what am I doing? Plus 8, So 1416 and 24. 24 will
it? So that is D6 plus 46 damage.
To the one you originally. Attacked the original 1 DOG.
Seeing that it's not working all that well, I'm going to action
Search and I'm going to use Tides of Chaos to give myself
advantage on one of those rules. I'll start with that one.
Just in case. 19 + 8 yeah, that's that's one of them.
And then give it to you a natural 20 and 21.
So all will hit you automatically do 6 damage, yes.
So that's three and then six damage, 28 damage as I sheathed
my blade and then using it as a sort of bludgeoning saff, which
makes sense if this is a long sword sort of flavour to the
Cortana, because I think you can attack with the the sheath.
Yeah, bludge, bludge, bludge. Never say that.
Again, bludge. Because I got a grudge.
Yeah, it is that thing, AJ, recognizing what you've what
your last action did and with the pain in your arm like very,
very fresh in your mind, seeing the other Ragnaro with its gaze
locked on Nate. You sheath your Cortana and in
that same moment kind of yank it from the belt and you as if it
was a club or just a heavy quarter staff.
You wallop it at all. You have the first couple he's
able to deflect, but something in you snaps.
It's that cocky shit eating grain on his face that he's not
lost. Neither of them have lost.
He is full sure he's going to beat you and something about
what he said finding the Empress and her daughter resonates and
everything kind of just goes white.
And you're not sure if it's the ringing from Nate's shatter or
what, but there is just a piercing sound in your ears as
you flail with your sheathed sword against Ragnar.
His first hand goes up to block and it snaps.
It actually twists violently. You jab and wallop him across
the head and the neck. You see him almost turn and in
that his arm just wobbles and twists back as he flicks it out
and you see he stands strong, holding himself up.
I could keep cutting you down and splitting you in two, but I
want you to feel all of this and all second wind and stand up
strong and heal myself or that's pretty good. 18 HP.
Yeah, recover 18 HP as you see the wounds close up on your
arms. Oh excellent.
I like it when it's drawn out and it is a vester very.
Sexy. Is there still the image of Kyle
in the goo or? Not it's there but it's not
holding that image. Yeah, OK.
I think she kind of spots that and stares at it for a minute,
and while there's a very quick urge to not hurt that, there's
that reminder that no, he he betrayed us in some way.
Like something there was not right.
And she throws burning hands at the goo.
So that's a deck safe. Can I spend 3 sorcery points and
it rolls at disadvantage? You can 10.
So it takes the full. Yeah, there is that hesitation
of I can't. There's some part of you that I
mean, if, if, if he's there, if he's like alive and it's he's
not alive. Temperance told you he's not
alive. And you know what, fuck that guy
anyway. He turned his back on the tarot.
He turned his back on you and the flames come at your hands
and there is just this black and blue and then they are a
brilliant golden colour. They are red and they are fiery
yellow as it surges out and you see the obelix actually recoil
and it actually tries to split itself, twisting as the flame
singes and burns at it and just this rotting stench off of it as
it falls back where before the lightning had caused it to
harden and stiffen. Just lumps and clots of it fall
to the ground, steaming. It has kind of kind of folded
back on one of the two of the stairs still within range of
you, but it just did not like that.
Oh, and my table. Yes.
Two OK. And it was 11 damage as well,
wasn't it? Yeah, perfect.
The Ragnars, which is kind of a cute way.
It's like, oh look at them, they're 2 Ragnars.
I keep in my head it keeps playing the Trogdoor song.
It's like Ragnar. I just.
Keep thinking of Vikings. Yeah.
From the show Vikings, Yeah. I know, I know.
I doubt this guy's is hot. I'm assuming he's hot.
I haven't actually watched Vikings.
I just know the point of the show is that they're all hot.
Yes, that's the whole point of the show.
The whole. Point of the show.
Am I wrong? Nate 25 to hit.
Fucking hell, man yeah, 13 damage as the side again just
lashes down and the other Ragnar kind of looks to himself and you
see his eyes shut for a moment and he there's a faint glow off
of was it the cloned Ragnar as he casts mass healing word, he
recovers health. Other Ragnar recovers health and
the obliques recover health. Original Ragnar holds a hand out
and kind of just in front of him.
His cloned version. A second side appears as he
casts spiritual weapon and that's AJ swings back towards
you. That is a journey 20 to hit.
Yeah, that hits. Yeah.
Take 17 slashes. Yeah, who's that?
Meow. So that was a 16 day.
Action when you pass the spell. You can, you can.
Oh, that was just his bonus actually.
Oh. No.
Yeah, he's he. He himself then is going to with
a a mall on his side because pull it from his belt and he's
going to no, that's not going to hit.
That's a tend to hit. Yeah, he he goes to a kind of
swat at you, AJ, but as the side buries itself into your back
where he swings, you've already kind of half stumbled and he
just it's a second too late to where he swings as you kind of
narrowly avoid the the head of his mall.
That is the Ragnar's Oblix, I believe was next.
And Befesta, he's not happy. Let me just recover.
What happened to little dude? Why are you so upset?
Oh, actually. I'm supposed to make.
Three attacks on. You no thank you.
Three attacks, that's my thing. OK, what I'm going to do?
I not wanted it. Oh, actually.
Well, there's a face journey happening.
There's a face journey happening and what I am going to do is I
I'm going to roll that second that that's the first attack.
Oh my God. He wrote 2 net ones for the one
attack for the one attack. That's fine.
So he has another attack and because of the net one normally,
but I'll give you a free action. What I'm actually going to do it
is it will not use its third thing.
OK, this this time for now, because it's just stopping.
It's going idiot fucking. Idiot.
Ben, what are you doing here? 12 or 24 attached.
The 12 doesn't hit. No, I thought it does.
I'm like, Oh yeah, don't make that face at me.
I used to, so I think I'm still just like in that.
Moment yeah, probably does you do see kind of it lashes out
with these two like tentacles but they're kind of still seeing
the flames kind of at the edges of your fingers.
It is frightened so when it swats it not even close and you
do see that face takes shape again and then it kind of it
winces in in fear and it retreats inside the Oblix.
Nate, I am going to look at the second Ragnar the one that
summoned the spiritual weapon next to me and I'm going to cast
command and I'm going to say dispel.
Nice. And that's a wisdom save of 17.
Oh fuck me, I rolled another. Not one.
They both dispel. No, they don't.
Dispel. How do they spell it?
You see its struggle. His face contorts a little.
I don't mean in that sense of like.
He grimaces. I mean the visage, The structure
actually twists and the scythe vanishes.
Bonus action. I'm going to move up next to AJ.
You, you can jump from where you are because you're still on top
of the stairs. Yeah, I'll have to jump down.
It's 20. There's 20 feet drop down.
You can go down past the Festa, but you would take an attack of
opportunity from the Oblix. Sorry.
We'll see how I'm feeling. Yeah, sorry.
I thought you're the. Sorry, I'll chance it.
I'll chance it, yeah. The attack opportunity, Yeah,
why not? Okay, you'll get close enough
kind of where the obliques was when it came out of the pool.
So this will be kind of about 10 feet between you AJ and the
Ragnar's Nate. You spill pasta festa and you
kind of it's that kind of are you OK?
Are you without saying each other?
It's that sort of like not are you OK?
The Oblix is terrified of her. You do see like some weird faces
and bones and like, Oh no, it kind of half lunges at you, but
it's still still sees the weird thing that it's frightened of
with flames. Around she's like stop it.
So am I within 5 feet of you're within 10 feet, 10 feet.
OK, OK. AJ, as I'm attacking, I'm going
to try goads. This isn't mechanic.
I'm just going to say, as these attacks are happening, it must
upset you so much that the three of us, I'd smarted you, but then
again, when you went undercover in the Temple of Brogue, you
didn't even think to look up anything about them.
You're such an idiot. And I attacked three times.
Does a natural one's not going to hit?
Oh, yay. Oh, no one.
Of them is a natural one, but I 18 and 10.
The 18 will hit, the 10 will not.
Can I use Bardic inspiration on my attack roles?
I think I'm a role. You mean the attack role, just
not the damage 1D. 10 + 515 doesn't it?
Now. No.
No worth a shot. So the 18 hit that was only from
three ones on D6. So bad.
Less smack talk, more action. That's only 5 damage and then
the natural one. It is that thing you swat with
the first you miss as he kind of half kind of turns his back now
against the shoulder of the other Ragnar jab forward with
the sheath and it's that thing of as you do, you kind of just
flick your wrist and you catch him right into the ribs.
There's a twack sound and as you go to pull back he grabs your
hand and with his free hand he swings down with his maul to hit
you. Dirty 20 to hit.
Yeah. For 10 bludgeon damage.
OK, he does hit them all cracks down into your shoulder.
AJ as you, you know, poke at him.
It's interesting how the ones who make the most noise are
often the emptiest of vessels. Isn't it a festa?
Yeah, she just wants to see this honk who's dead, so she's going
to just keep pushing forward at it and hit it with a scorching
rate this time. So more fire.
It doesn't like that that is 21 to hit 9 + 615 + 520.
It's not looking. So I mean, it's it's still up,
it's still moving, but it's not great.
It's not looking wonderful with again, it's I think of with the
remaining fire at your hands. You kind of bring it up over
your head, pulling your hands apart.
There is just now this orb of red hot.
It looks like molten metal and flames and sparks hiss and flick
from it as 3 sharp rays just erupt.
They dive straight at it, and each takes a different angle as
they they bend in straight lines, filling the space around
it, striking the elder obliques in three different places.
It lets out this warbled scream. It is wet, it is horrendous, it
is monstrous, it is agony. It is hundreds of voices
screaming out for release. Bonus section.
No, but by way of movement, I'm wondering, and I might not be
able to do this because this also kind of requires it to do
something, but as I'm attacking it, can I be trying to like push
it back and push forward myself? You'd physically have to.
OK, shove it back. Are you wanting to give me a
swirling emotion? Natural 20.
That's the only fucking you know what?
No, I don't care. OK, give me a roll of AD 10. 4.
OK, as you hear those screams, you see the room and it's quite
a large space and you see the steam twisting and disappearing
up into the dark of the cavern below, burning off of the
waterfall. The Cascades, the fire, the
flames, they, they're brilliantly bright.
They are this scorching red, this tempestuous gold segments,
flavours and the emotions swell inside you and you just you've
you find for a moment in that thought, This isn't where your
story stops, this isn't, this isn't it, it can't be it.
Yourself awareness gives you a better handle on your casting as
the confidence that Sekmith just seemed to walk around with
filters through you for the next minute.
All spells now have a casting time of a bonus section.
Ragnar Stern. The side that was at a JS back
is going to spin towards you mate.
Keeping you a bit God damn it. God damn sides.
Coming at me from all sides. I know I-17 doesn't hit.
No, it does not. It swings at you.
It's a Co and you kind of half bend out of the way.
It's sort of like almost hopping on one foot.
I think he fooled me once, cut me twice.
Something something not three times just slices through the
air around you. Ragnar, the original 1 still
holding where he like has you think it's a wisdom saving
throw. A Wisdom saving throw DC-17.
DC-17. That's alright.
OK, I do have advantage on Wisdom saving throws.
So close. Wait, saving throw.
Oh my gosh, that's the same #16 yeah.
You have. Before you finish that sentence,
I have a thing called indomitable.
I can re roll a saving throw that I fail.
That was one different 17. 17 on the dot knife.
His arm tightens around you as you see his eyes go from this
brilliant gold and like flecks of like almost like emerald
green in them to just black as he attempts to cast bestow curse
upon you. You pull away and the magic
doesn't connect as you something within you stirs and you find
the just this aura of protection just kind of prevents it from
the magic holding other Ragnar. He goes to grab you.
You pull away as he goes to cast inflict wounds upon you and then
immediately seeing like as he goes to grab magic doesn't
connect the energies spend he then casts toll the dead.
OK, 17 again. Yes, yeah.
And 18. Neither of his magic seems to
connect our phase and the other. The original Ragnar kind of like
shoots him a look and they both kind of lock eyes and the
obliques in that again, absolutely terrified.
Festa, it's a thing of it's frightened of you, it needs to
get rid of you. And two of these tentacles swing
out. One reach.
What's its reach? If if it can reach an 8, one
will hit Nate at three to 10 feet.
Yeah, he'll lit you. So it's a + 7.
I rose another. Not one Dings off my codpiece.
You can you can take a swing with your short sword.
Yeah, why not? And then if I see the one's
going to go for you. Yeah that's an 18 or another Nat
one does OK no bye. No does 23 hit.
Hate the stupid show. Oh and that's 15 damage.
Oh you can ABBA lick my ball. 15 damage and a fester.
You have another action on again.
Again, it would have to be sickle.
That's fine. Yeah.
Just slash slash or. A cantrip sickle or a cantrip?
I can cantrip, Yeah. Oh.
I mean, just say it. No, no, no.
So as it's swinging at me, I want to like catch it and
shocking grasp. OK, that's OK, because that's a
21. This game isn't fun.
And that's another 15 damage for me too.
I now need you, Havesta, to make a Wisdom saving throw DC18.
No thanks, she's not that wise 23.
That's fine. She's wiser than I thought,
anyways, 22. The cruelest it did you know it
like I think bubbles up inside you're like oh, that's bad oh,
that's evil OK, that's fine. I mean, it's not because you
didn't there's no where you hold on Befester and you just see
Ivan just swat it with this tiny sword like he just.
Yeah, as he does that you just it's not even that you grab it.
It's just like, oh, it glances off you immediately the magic
surges as shocking grasp erupts at you feel this weird energy
off of it like this just this wave of emotion.
But as the electricity courses through the.
Like arm just kind of wobbles back and you see now that where
it was this 9 foot tall kind of mass, it's barely standing at 5
foot. It's kind of falling in on
itself. It's not heaving up as much it.
Is Nate. I'll move in close to AJ just so
he's under my aura protection for the crack.
Have another go at Shatter again, sort of on a space sort
of behind them, but sort of hitting them.
Jeremy the the sphere is centered behind them, but
they're still within that 10th of sphere.
You were so close. I was a 16.
For first Ragnar, 22 for the second Ragnar.
Can I as a reaction use cutting words on that DMDM?
I'm the DM. Yeah, of course that's a six.
So they subtract 6 and they're all yeah, done.
Both get hit for that 12 damage each.
OK. They're both looking a little
more worse for wear than when it first started out.
And you again, you can even sense it between the the two.
The moment Nick that you you because you see the other one
kind of just kind of turn. He senses the magic you're
cutting, words like whispered in his ear, like a little like a
Heckle. It second guesses itself.
And there's just this eruption of shatter behind them both.
And again, this time when when it hits, you do see that their
body, their clothes solidify. It's I think of, you know, if
you blasted potty with enough force to just splat out, that
happens. It's almost kind of stretched
outwards. Clora, we.
Go back to that explosive blast and Bobo is standing there.
That's really strange What I don't think.
I'm not saying we're not in danger, Cloda, but.
And the door kind of closes. You have to go.
Now, yeah. You have to come with me.
I'm staying with. Kappa.
How, how, how do we? Find you again then.
There's a whispered. Just kind of a you hear just
kind of a breath escaping from Kappa.
I know, I know. You he moves to the wall and.
He again he presses on a couple of small kind of stones, and
then a rune glows. You remember his words?
Yep. I don't know what they.
Mean though then. Sing them, and a door opens
along the back wall next to where Kappa is.
Just this again. It's a small stone door that
kind of just slides. You follow that passageway.
They're heading to this whirly, whirly.
Thank you. Bobo.
She. Just takes off down the.
Car door. Bye.
Cloda bye and you just hear the kind of the grumbling of stone.
It is just this pitch dark passageway.
The walls are smooth, floor under foot is made of polished
stone. You hear your feet clacking
against it. It just echoes around you and
there is just this swirling, tumultuous onslaught of water
roaring overhead and your feet can't carry you fast enough and
there's just this surge of wind behind you, Clodagh, as you come
spilling out. Over.
This chasm and below you you can see.
Just water cascading. Again, from somewhere up above
you, down and about 60 feet below you.
See. Nate Efesta, AJ2 Brother Ragnars
and this gloop locked in a fight.
You don't see signs of any of the other survivors Rebels
closest to me. They're 60 feet below.
You. Oh, can I?
Tell that they're fighting the Ragners again.
You can. You're watching kind of as they
lunge and swipe at each other. Yeah, OK.
Do I need to roll initiative? You're going to come at the end
of this is. Where it's that thing of like
you've been running this entire through this sort of
labyrinthine tunnel and it's that thing of like you were kind
of going around and up, whereas the others were going down and
down and around. You were going up and around.
So your paths have kind of met, but you're coming in at the end
of Nate at this point. So all those rounds that have
passed, you had been running up to this point.
OK, so it's. Your action.
Taking quick stock. Of the situation, she's going to
see the three enemies. Can she determine which is the
real Ragnar? Not from here.
They look, The thing is, from what you can see, they look
identical, OK. She's just going to cast.
Guiding Bolt. At.
Whichever one is nearest to her, there's one.
Closest to AJ, if that's the one, yeah. 21 to hit.
And that's 14 damage and the next.
Attack against it has advantage, right?
Any bonus action? Who's next after me, AJ?
Who who looks the most? Unhealthy right now, probably AJ
60. Feet away, it's.
Like, yeah, yeah, actually. She's just going to, she's going
to send. Her bride inspiration to Nate OK
what what does your. Like again, Nate, you just hear
your name kind of sung up above and they're kind of half hanging
over a ledge. You see Clodagh just kind of
peering down as this blade of light just whizzes around the
swirly whirly and you shrink. I know.
I did.
I love it and it slams into Ragnar.
He is glowing and then he just left out this kind of like
gutter up at you as he hisses at Dakota.
AJ, it is your turn. Hi.
I know. It's late.
I know we're tired. I have a couple of questions as
ATM. Hey everybody, it's late and
we're all tired. She was waiting outside.
Yeah. No, no.
Does she want to? Come in, Sam, because she.
Sit down in the car. I can do.
Yeah, yeah, Ben can ask is quick.
I can ask some questions. Yeah, I'll.
Waiting for the in the DM's guide there's optional rules
about disarming where I make an attack and then the person uses
acrobatics or athletics to like contest it.
Is that a rule? It is an optional DM rule.
So I didn't want to like fling it on you.
No, I've like I've used disarm. Stuff before.
Nice. OK, cool.
Then I'm going to try to use the sheath of my swords to pop the
Was it a Mace? Yes, a mall.
A mall. A mall out.
Of Ragnar's hands and I'll do it with advantage so you're trying
to beat with athletics or acrobatics 22 OK that's a nine
now here's. Where it gets tricky.
Oh boy, I'd like to catch it and use my two other attacks to hit
him with it. Like pop cart bam bam.
So you catch him on the. Wrist it's he's expecting
another kind of hit. He doesn't think you'll go for
his left hand. You catch him in the wrist and
the pain courses through and the he, the mole swings out up over.
You reach up, grab it. You can now make an attack roll
with it. Nice.
I don't know any of its bonuses and I got it too worth.
It OK, you got to get used to it.
You got to get used to it. You swing it down by the weight
of it, Yeah. You weren't expecting it and you
go wide as he kind of half he half steps around now, just with
his claws. Yeah, Festa, with what just
happened with the table does. That mean if a spell is a bonus
action I get to cast 2 spells? Yes.
OK. Perfect.
Yeah, she really just wants this thing out of her fucking face
and she wants to get into the real fight and looking at it
just like falling apart and all burnt and gross, she's just
going to cast Burning hands down the stairs again and just try to
wipe it out. So that's a Dex 14, save 15.
No. OK, so it takes.
Half half of 12, so it takes 6/6.
OK, she's just going to do it again.
She's going to. Keep pushing at it.
And that's a 22. OK, so half of 14/7?
OK, so she's just like, and then it's fine and she just fires
again. Hands out there is just this.
Wave of flames from you and you see it's sort of recoil and when
the flames diminish it's sort of resurges and you're like it's
not done and you a second flurry of fire just straight from your
hands envelops it. It is kind of again it's if it
was 5 foot before, now it's barely 4 as it's kind of almost
melting into the ground and you just see it's losing any sense
of cohesion to itself. Ragnar with his claws just I'm
starting to enjoy this but I am needed elsewhere.
And he holds just one hand out over the water as he casts
control water. And a Whirlpool starts to.
Swirl and that three feet of water that we've all been
sending in, you're all drawn towards it, no?
You're 60 feet in the air. Lady, I'm still on the stairs.
Actually, so I I'm not in it either.
You're not in. Either lady.
Yeah. So I need Ivan and AJ to to to
to to give me a an athletics check against my spell say which
is 17. Nope, a mate.
OK, I. Mean yeah, Nate knows how to
swim right I've got. Disadvantage. 4.
You're immediately both, kind of.
Pulled into war into the swirly whirly like OK, the drama of
it's gone you I get like lifted off your feet.
Just that surge of energy from this swirling mass of water.
Actually, I think the objects will need to give one as well.
It fails. It is also pulled in towards the
really. Early, but the.
Clone Ragnar holds firm like he braces himself.
Ragnar, the moon shadow kind of looking at this sort of wave of
energies just walloping all around you, allows himself to be
drawn towards the the middle of the vortex and you see his shape
kind of shift and there is just this amorphous creature, no
distinguishing facial features or character about it.
His voice wobbles as he speaks. The Taro are watching we void
and it is pulled into the vortex and you see Ragnar this
gelatinous ooze just sunk straight down.
You can use your action to try. Swim away from the vortex, by
the way, just other thing, but you'll have a disadvantage on
your checks to do so. Other Ragnar is well again, it's
kind of yeah, I think you're going to tall the dead.
So AJ, give me a wisdom safe. Sure thing +4.
Nice if we're so fight. Yeah, stupid swirly.
Whirly. One of them is an. 18.
Plus 4 + 2, so 24. That's fine, you're longer
within. Reach of him but he casts his
energy outwards and there is just as a ringing of a bell but
it goes quiet. The Oblix has been pulled into
the drink. It is going to try and result a
total wipeout. Try and resist.
Fuck me it actually. Does.
Barely, but it does. It kind of surges forward and F
Esther, you just see two hands claw on the edge of the wall as
more of it is kind of pulled into this swirling vortex.
It's faster and more violent than it was before Ragnar or
after Ragnar cast his energy into it.
It is trying to pull itself forward and you just see Kyle's
face forming within the obliques.
It's that's it's action. It is.
I haven't right. So there's one Ragnar left and
one Ragnar left, and the Oblix is barely holding on, but I'm
not within reach of you're getting sucked into the.
Yeah. So I'm just going to make 2
sword attacks I think just because why not at Ragnar?
So first one. Is yeah, it's not going to hit.
It's a nine. And the next one.
Is a 14. Oh, I'll use my part of
conspiration. The second one.
Sorry, sorry, because I have that +6 that'll hit and then
that's going to be plus 513 damage.
You slash out with your short sword and as your blade cuts
into him, you see the two Ragnar's form again.
God damn it. And there's now 2, but it was 13
damage. Yes.
OK, there's two of them standing there again and he's not going
to it's not going to go until it's next turn.
But as this thing splits the illusion of the Tabaxi, the the
form of it, the hair is now just one.
It's that sort of. Oh, it's getting very pixelated,
like it's not as clean as clear as it used to be.
Yeah, the. Even the eyes.
Are now just a block of colour as opposed any sort of detail.
It's holding some of the shape, but not particularly well, any
bonus actions, Nate? Oh, do you know what?
Seeing as that was my first hit, I'm going to fucking throw out
some smites. Can I do that?
Yeah. Smite that bitch.
Smite the. Motherfucker.
So we'll do a Thunder Smite so an additional 6 damage.
OK and that's that's on the first one that would have come
with the initial hit yes yeah, that's fine.
It is that thing. There is just this wallop of
Thunder as you. It also must succeed on a
Strength saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away from you and
not prone. Oh, oh, Now that's important.
Yeah. It's really, really yes against
17. 21 oh gosh darn it, oh cutting words reaction.
So I'll just roll AD 8. It's great to be a bird, isn't
it -2 19 It is you. You wallop out with the, with
your short sword, Nate. And as you do, there is just
this crack of Thunder. You see the Ragnar BLOB clone
just kind of fold and split outwards and as it does and that
Thunder wallops into it, its claws hold fast on the ground,
the water is just brushed around either side of it as it holds
on. I just realised you were in the
drink and needed to swim away from it.
I'll do that, that's fine. No because it give me a strength
saving throw. God damn it.
It's one of my worst ones here to be a 17.
But just for clarification sake, Oh no.
OK. So it's that thing of like you
pull yourself forward fighting against the currents of the
Whirlpool and you lunge at Ragnar's clone and then as the
energy expelsory, you are just pulled right back and you are
it's even over the wall of the well into the vortex take.
Take 5 blooding damage. As you are walloped against the
walls, it is Clodagh. You see Nate sucked into the
vortex in this really, really. There's one Ragnar's vanished to
still stand and the Oblix is in the vortex or is in the pool.
AJ is in the pool and the fest is still on the stairs.
No, she. Can I have a?
Wisdom saving throw. Please Wisdom save.
Yeah, Nat 20, actually. No, I still have to roll because
he takes half down. What are you doing?
Dissonant Whispers. OK. 8.
OK, big ugly BLOB. What's your distance?
What are you saying to it? Follow.
Your master, your whispers. Reverberate around this space.
You all hear them and then they go definitely quiet and you just
see if as to the twisted visage of what might have looked like
Kyle at once if this thing was able to hold itself together.
Just recoil and twist in agony. It's hands are clinging as hard
as it possibly can. It is any bonus actions Florida
so OK. AJ.
You've to make a yes athletics to not fall in the drink.
You got it. I kind of, I kind of use my
accent to like swim away to like get advantage.
That's what you know you're, that's what you're using your
action. To not get pulled into it, no
worries. Athletics 5.
You would think. You'd have pluses to athletics.
He doesn't say no. Zero.
You are also pulled into the Vortex 5.
You also take 6 damage as you are again you are pulled down
and you it's I think you gasp for air and then you are
walloped into the wall. You are.
You bang into Nate as well. It is festa so ooze is still
barely. Hanging on ooze is hanging on.
There's two. Wagners, Nate.
And AJ are in the. Water and Cloda is up above you.
I can't help you guys. Sorry about it.
OK, she's going to do a really dramatic, like she's fucking
sick of the stupid news and we're going to do a Lion King
and she's going to touch the thing as it's holding on and
cast shocking grasp on its hands to just try and get.
It to let go. And go down the down in there so
that. Is.
A 17 hit, 17 hits, Yeah. And that is?
Another 14 damage you. Reach out.
It's almost like like and you do see, it's almost like reaching
up to you as if it like it. There's a memory in it and it
knows you as a friend. It remembers you and your.
Hands take it and. Lightning crackles out of you.
And the whole thing just melts. It doesn't.
Just fall. Down the drink, the shape, the
fingers, the arms, the wrist, it's just ooze in your hands and
you see just this liquid swirl around the vortex and it's gone.
You have defeated the Elder Obelix is a bonus actions.
Oh, I got nothing to save these guys.
You still have your double. Spells.
Double spell I know, but another thing I have is.
Going to do anything for you guys.
There's the two Ragnar still. Up and you're the only ones that
we were going to run away from that.
Are they near each? Other, actually, yeah, they're
right beside each other, OK. That's fine.
It's the joys of. Cloning from yourself OK?
If they're close enough to each other, then we're going to
burning hands at the both of them because it's a cone, so it
should hit both. So it's a Dex 14 each, 10 for
the first one. What'd you get there, Kim?
13 Oh poor guys. And it's 17 damage each.
You as as lightning crackles from your hands and you watch
the Oblix, there is that moment of like, no, you're.
Not crying for this thing. And you fix your gaze, you you
see Nate and Ivan in the water, but you fix your gaze on the two
Ragnars who have kind of both kind of turned to face you.
And just with this, your hands up and outwards, just this
brilliant cone of flame and Clodagh, you can see it.
It swallows the two Ragnars and they are engulfed in red and
gold and flames. And when the spell dissipates,
there is nothing of them left as you have defeated 2 of Ragnar of
the Moon's Shadows Splits. For the sake of expediency, I.
Think it's fair to say we're all fucking exhausted?
That was really fucking long combat.
Louise are editing this one as well.
You guys get flushed? Right, and glad I didn't.
Just Attack, Attack, attack and I put a flourish on everything
at Claudette you. Somehow there's a small path
that you had passed that you head down it and again it's it's
stone stairs carved into it and. This should lead you like if.
The path winds the way it's going.
This should lead you towards the the swirly whirly where the
others are and fester as you are like you plunge your hands and
you're like you feel the magic waning from this, but it's still
rushing water. You manage as Nate, like it's
not the first time he's been tossed into or out of a ship and
into swirling waves clings on. You're like oh he's fine, he can
see. Breathing.
You grab AJ by the scruff and you just hoist him out of the
well and gasping for air. Bruised and broken.
The three of you lie, panting and exhausted, having come face
to face with the member of the tarot, Claudette.
You come down that winding staircase and there are these
small little houses. These, these are the houses that
Befesta and AJ had said. This is where this is where
everybody is right. But there's no sign of.
The survivors, the rebels. And as you search and you, you
fling open doors, you slip around at the end of a corridor.
You just see small card glinting a tarot card temperance with
Clodagh crying out AJ finding the strength you head up the
stairwell mold. Earth and you.
See the Seder woman kind of on her knees, wailing, clutching a
golden card. The rebels are gone.
Temperance is gone, There's only one way out of here, and with
nothing else to go on, you muster the strength gathering.
Yourselves. You.
Head through the passageway, the biting wind snapping at you.
And there's just silence. Silence and the wind.
Until eventually. As you come around a bend, there
is just a crack of light and the wind screams down at you and it.
Cuts into. Your bones.
And AJ? You catch a familiar scent.
Blue Pine. Fresh snow, winterberries.
You find yourselves on the edge of the Dragon's Back mountains.
Galeshire City to your back. And that is where we'll leave.
This episode. You've been listening to
Romancing. In dungeon with Amber, Sam, Ben,
Eilish and me, Declan, your dungeon master.
As always, big thank you to Steve Tannen and Abby Soiree for
our theme song Fight for Each Other podcast.
Title card artwork is by Dicey Designs.
I'm just going to say it, this episode took a long time to
edit. Like longer than normal.
There was yeah. Uh, you can, you can clearly
hear by the end how tired we all are and just where we're like
just edit, just edit. Just just end episode.
We, we've been recording all day long.
So all of the episodes you've heard were recorded over the
last kind of over the last kind of let's say 3 episodes, 4
episodes. We're all done in one go.
So yeah, we learned the lesson. The hard way again to.
Not do that, but uh, it was a lot of fun to play.
It was a lot of fun and challenge to edit.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna shut up. I'm gonna, I'm not gonna go into
a big editing rant. Uh, I will say though, uh, the
critter Awards 2025 are open for nominations and if you'd like to
nominate romance in dungeon, any of our players, me as the DM,
any of our own PCs or any of the other D8 Dungeon shows that we
have, we would really, really appreciate that.
I know I've been harping about it for a long time, but if
you're listening to this on Spotify, leave us a comment.
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Uh, tell a friend, uh, leave a review.
It takes a couple of minutes and we'd be really, really
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platforms at D8 Dungeon. And OK, I'm going to love you.
I'm going to leave you and I'm going to take a break from
editing. Bye.
Mind yourselves. If they're.
Missing then At least they're not dead bodies, no?
Crime. No, it's not right, AJ.
We just blow them all to pieces. What is it?
What I meant but OK. That's the creator of the Temple
of Rogue. That's all you have to say.
Oh my gosh. Hey, guys.
Motherfucker. Hey.
Guys. Hey guys, The Festa took zero
damage and killed. All of the.
People you couldn't kill. Look, she has to have one.
It's the last time I'll have Yeah, no for.
Sure.