I'm Roz Grapers, and I've been paid handsomely to narrate the
heck out of this crap. So strap in, grab a hot cup of
cocoa, and nuzzle yourself into the pectorals of whatever
handsome creature you've managed to latch onto this holiday
season. Oh, gather ye round and hear
this old tale seriously of Nevermounts Market, now quiet
and frail. Once it was bustling, a bright
seaside star with Xmas so joyous it drew folks afar.
Whoever wrote this? The ever bright tree in the
square shone with pride. It's glittering branches could
light the whole tide, especially if it's on fire.
The thumbs folk would gather with hearts full of cheer and
toast to the joy of the best time of year.
That's not what the statistics tell us.
But now, O alas, things are not as they were.
The market's grown silent, the magic's a blur, The tree's lost
its sparkle. Well, I mean, you chopped down
the tree, it's going to die. The garlands are frayed and
whispers of sadness have heavily stayed.
Act now and get 10% off your first D8 services date.
Still hope softly flickers like lights on the sea.
A miracle waiting for Love's destiny.
For maybe this Xmas the town will renew and hearts will find
warmth as old dreams become new. That's lovely.
Probably won't happen though. Where's my check?
We begin in the snow covered seaside town of Nevermount, just
north of the great city of Galeshire.
The town and words of what happened during the winter's
gala ball has reached the people.
Many are concerned about the fate of the Kingdom, but for
most of the people in never meant trouble and uncertainty
has been kind of abound for the last couple of years.
The King's death is just another drop in the ocean of their
worries. What once was a bustling seaside
village known for its exuberant festivals has, over the last
half a century, begun to dwindle and fade into obscurity.
Now, with mounting deaths, the mayor of Nevermount, Myrtle
Blandberry, has called an emergency town hall meeting.
Villagers from near and far arrive in on a snowy, blustery
evening. You feel the salty wind whip at
you as you cross the icy cobblestones.
The town, the the the village. It's seen better days.
You can't help but find yourself reminiscing about shop windows
glowing with all manner of spectacles and treats, the
streets decorated with just the the greenest of of Evergreen
trees, music of like roving gangs of choirs, small battles
brewing between children from either sides of the street.
Now in front of you everything is Gray, all of you from your
respective positions as you filter in to the village.
See, there is a small flurry of folks heading towards the
Evergreen Inn, where the mayor has asked anybody interested to
appear to have their voices heard.
Inside it is much warmer, there is a huge fireplace burning, and
there is the faint smell of warm apple cider.
You find a seat and that at the top of the room used by the the
mayor, an older minotaur lady fretting back and forth.
Then occasionally she kind of looks up as more people bolster
in through the door. Every now and again you see the
owner of the Evergreen in coming around from back, carrying just
a another stack of chairs, handing them out to people and
getting people to kind of squash up against the wall or pull out
that bench. You catch his eye in a moment
and he he smiles. There's always been that
something about Jack. He inherited the Evergreen
Tavern when his parents passed away.
His parents passed in a freak Blizzard accident only a few
weeks after he married his one true love.
Who then passed a couple of years later in a similar freaky
Blizzard accident, leaving Jack a single father to his half elf
daughter Snowdrop N who you do see she sat on the bar and she's
got the little ladle and she's pouring out little cups of the
warm apple cider and adding a little sprinkle of cinnamon
herself. Jack as he kind of puts down
another nest of chairs for people to kind of gather
themselves into. A single bead of sweat just kind
of dripping down his forehead. He has this sort of dusty blonde
hair that meets quite a sharp, well maintained beard, these
wonderfully deep, swirling green eyes.
He fixes the straps over over his shoulders, swoops over to
the bar as he scoops Snowdrop into his arms.
She looks like her mom in a lot of ways, but she has her
father's thighs and the pair of them share a kind of a laugh as
the mayor kind of just clears her throat.
Myrtle, remember your remember your lessons, remember public
speaking. Envision everybody naked, okay?
Oh God, you're all naked. Okay, so thank you everybody who
has come to the, to our emergency town hall meeting of
great severity. I, I, I, I couldn't think of a
better title. I, I, I, I apologise.
The town is spiralling out of control.
There's no budget, there's no money.
The coffers are gone. If anybody has any spare cash
going, that would be great. That would be lovely.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I've sent a letter to the king asking for a
small loan. The King's dead, so I, I guess
we might not get the loan. So if anybody, anybody here has
any ideas on how we might save the town, I'm all ears and
panic. And she's just like, she is just
drowned in sweat as Jack sort of cycles up next to her and like
Snowdrop puts a very large cup of very alcoholic cider into her
hands. The crowd are kind of but like,
I've got my farm and so I have my boat and I've got my boat
farm back and forth. There's all this panic and worry
and a few people kind of start to stand up and like they
introduce themselves and then the the floor quietens and all
eyes fall on four people in the room who've yet to have their
say. I've got to go based off of the
screen that I have, and we're going to go that way and we're
going to go clockwise. So, Emma.
OK so my character is called Meryl and she has been smoggly
waiting and listening to these other ideas.
She's wearing kind of like a cream colored like knee length
cardigan that she has wrapped around her.
Her hair is blonde and perfectly curled and she is she's human.
Instead of just standing up and saying her piece, she walks to
the front where the mare was standing and kind of looks in
her very kind eyes and says you did a great job.
This is fantastic and kind of moves her gently to the side.
She'll address the room and say, I don't know how we're going to
fix this, but I know there's a lot of great people in this room
and I think together we can do anything.
What I have done to raise our spirits is handmade everyone a
wreath for their door and they're just over to the side of
the room. They're all reflecting your own
personalities. I use different materials from
our nearby woods to do this. It didn't cost me anything but
love. So please, you'll know yourself.
It will call to you which one is yours.
And I hope this will increase everyone's heart that we can
believe in each other and we will get there.
Myrtle, having kind of been kind of issued to one side, is kind
of rummaging through, takes hers out.
The wreath is missing most of it's green, like it's just brown
branches, like there's a few sort of spikes.
And just a couple of those really small bottles of vodka.
Pinched it around the sides. Yeah, she does.
She takes a swig from her wreath.
Garnet. So I am playing Crystal.
Crystal is also a human. However, her hair is naturally
blue and she swears it's because one of her great grandmothers
was in an Air Janossi. There is absolutely no proof of
this. No one in the family knows, but
that's the only explanation anyone could come up with.
She. Is wearing a very long 4th
doctor esque long scarf that is just red and and white and
there's tiny little candy canes tied to the tassels at the
bottom. She is going to stand and just
go. I know a lot of you aren't
necessarily believers, but the cards have told me that so long
as we love each other and so long as there is just so much
love, we can get through this. Love is going to figure it out,
we just have to wait for it. Myrtle, now into her second swig
from the wreath, isn't very emotional, has absolutely
beautiful crystal. It's just as beautiful as the
wreath that Meryl made me. But love doesn't make money grow
on Christmas trees. She's back to swinging from the
wreath and Steve. Hi, Hi.
Hi, everybody. I'm Brush.
I'm Bruce McNamara. I'm the new Carpenter.
I came here because the the last guy, well, you guys know and so
I've only been here a little while and I'm still figuring out
kind of what's going on in the town.
And I want to agree with what the previous two of my
colleagues in this town here have said.
OK, I I think this town is sexually repressed and we need
to get more busy. Are there are there children in
in the room or other than Snowdrop the child?
No, it's just Snowdrop the. Child earmuffs.
Earmuffs. OK, we need to fuck more.
Because. Like this time, do you hear how
our mayor, how our elected representative, did you see what
Myrtle did up up here? That's not the town I want to
live in anyway. My name is Brush McNamara.
I'm really good at woodwork. Let me reinforce your beds.
I can install a swing. I, I, I just, if we can
stimulate this economy, we, we need to start with with just
getting rid of some of this oppression.
So I don't know. I've, I've just been here for
just as an outsider perspective. That's, that's just what I can
help with. I've got a lathe.
I can carve things in any shape and I, I'm, I'm here for you.
Thank you. Myrtle, she's kind of gone back
to kind of where she had she had set herself up and she's kind of
rifling it through the clipboard and it is that thing.
She still has her Christmas wreath that she just sprays like
it's a thing of like she literally like on the
reinforcing your beds. She does a full spit take and
then begins to fan herself with the clipboard, all the while
looking at Jack. He's got his hands are on
Snowdrop series and Tendai. So I'm playing crumb beer up
stands this like towering figure who is ripped to fuck, built
like a lumberjack but is wearing this like well maintained
Baker's apron. They have like some little bits
of flour and stuff. It's kind of like a little
dusting here on the cheek where it would typically look messy as
hell for them. It actually looks real good,
like they look like they should be on a bakers holiday calendar
or a situation. They have long white locks that
are tinted with red and green for the festive season.
They have brown skin, which isn't the most common for a tea
fling, but it has an odd bronzy color to it, so they almost look
kind of metallic. They have heterochromic eyes,
and they have this wide white smile.
They also have like a tray of little sweets and desserts.
Yes, yes, I agree that we should fortify the beds and be good to
each other and love each other. But also we are not eating
enough sweets. We're not eating enough good
food. The way to success is through a
well filled stomach and I think that everybody should just take
a pause, take a breath, Myrtle. This giant one is for you.
You're going to need it. There are things that we could
do as a small town. We're not being crafty enough.
Merle's going to just look at her reads.
Please continue on. We need to embrace the season of
love. And if love isn't something that
we currently have, we should make it.
And without cranberry is going to kind of like look around the
room, kind of trying to tell us who's single around here.
We we, we should develop the town.
The town is a bit dated, a bit old, but we can be craftier
about this. I think we could we we shouldn't
all meltdown. We will figure something out.
With you and the the tray full of baked goods, Myrtle slides
just this chocolate log off the tray, all the while eyeing brush
and cran beer. She's trying to be flirty, but
as she slides the chocolate because it is heavy and it's
creamed and half of it falls off and splats on the ground and she
sort of slips back, you raise a good point.
Brush, but also cran beer. I am willing to attempt plan DTF
as a backup, however all is not lost.
I had the wherewithal to contact a property tycoon.
They're sending us somebody who'll visit Nevermount and will
hopefully be able to estimate the value of our properties and
maybe, maybe we could invest the money that way.
No, no, no. What?
Like to sell our town what to some busy business lady who's
too busy with her own busy life in the city is going to come out
here and tell us in our slow, not busy lives how busy she is?
I don't believe it. I have AI have a secondary idea
that I think would be much better. 3rd idea because we have
we have the DTF idea. That's all of ours.
That's the four of ours. We're sharing that one.
Well, yes, my, my yeah, I'm in a very monogamous relationship,
but it is quite sexually healthy.
Again, Snowdrop. And but that's what.
I'm talking about and I try and lead a round of applause in the
room. Give me give me a heart roll
brush to see if you're a slow applause for Merrill's happy,
healthy sex life is enough. It's 1D6 and you are looking to
over three. It's five.
Oh yeah, immediately the whole like everybody are like hooting
and hollering for Merrill and their partner.
Dick. Dick OK.
I mean, he's Richard, but everyone in the town calls him
Dick. Yeah.
Of course we do. Yeah, so.
It gets louder. Yeah.
Oh, yes, it's Dick. Yeah, yeah.
Everybody is just clapping along as the crowd kind of they're
they're supporting you, but they're not supporting your
idea. It is that moment where every
the kind of the mood has lifted. The door to the Evergreen Tavern
just swings open violently and slipping and sliding, covered in
muck and sleet and dirty snow, in the pointiest heeled boots
you've ever seen. A human woman wrapped in all
black, her hair and face kind of obfuscated by a heavy hood,
stumbles in carrying a briefcase and a small all trunk on wheels.
Hello I'm Helen Winter of Gardner Realty.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I seem to have interrupted some
sort of local yokel festive and she kind of looks around at the
the inn You you were obviously expecting me.
I, I, I, I wasn't expecting all of you here is, is the mayor
here? She kind of saunters up and
Helen introduces herself. She is a representative for
Gardener Realty. She's come to start doing
estimates of the various buildings.
The property tycoons are very, very interested in the town of
Nevermount as herself and the mayor have kind of bundled up
towards near the bar. She pulls back the hood and it's
just this long black hair, very, very pale, very sharp features.
She's giving off this sort of boss bitch energy.
Uh, she pulls off the, the, the coat and she's wearing a form
fitting suit, shoulder padded out to the extreme.
And she immediately opens her briefcase and takes out a quill
and a clipboard and paper. And she starts just wandering
through the tower, ignoring the mayor and the rest of you.
What's everybody doing at this point?
Crambier is going around with the tray.
I'm kind of like pointing at the individual treats for the people
to be like, no, no, no, this this one, only this one is
yours. You can't take more just this
one. And they're going to be like
looking at this woman out of the corner of eyes, like really like
calculated manner. They're like, who the fuck does
she think she is? They're they're going to saddle
up beside Myrtle and once the tray is empty and kind of put an
arm over Myrtle's shoulder like she's dwarfed and be like,
Myrtle, are you OK? Oh, yes, she was a very
complimentary of the of something.
I mean, she said that like when flattened Nevermount could.
She mentioned high rise apartments and she mentioned
several coffee shops that all sell the same products just and
yeah, no, it it sounded lovely. It it it sounded, it sounded, it
sounded she's getting really, it sounded real quaint.
I'm I'm going to excuse myself. Mayor Myrtle swaggers and
slightly staggers out of the Evergreen Inn.
Rambier is going to take a note of this, and it's going to
really grate on him, and he's going to like, mutter under his
breath that it'll be a cold day in hell before I become just
another coffee shop. How is Jack looking right now?
Most of the villagers, they've discreetly left.
A few have found kind of a dark corner for some canoodling, and
Jackie is now trying to like pry them apart.
Snowdrop is kind of following behind Helen, almost kind of
imitating her. She's got like her school copy
book and she's writing things down.
She does turn seeing kind of Meryl Crystal and kind of brush
still kind of at the chairs. And what does dilapidated health
and safety risk mean? It means that this puffed up
suit thinks we have to get rid of everything here.
Your family Tavern, The toy maker?
You're the. Child.
No, no. The children need to know the
truth. She wants to raise everything,
everything to the ground and we'll have nothing.
We'll be sleeping on the streets in the cold of winter.
That's what she wants. Do you want?
Do you want her to win? Mary's going to cover Snowdrop's
ears at this point and just feel like.
Yeah, she's already bawling. Like she's full on, like just
sniveling. Come on, come on, let's let's go
cut up the chocolate log. It's still good.
I I. I hand over Snowdrop like from
my pocket. There's actually like this, this
tiny box. I'm like these are for you.
Oh yes, I always find it best to bribe small persons with sugar
candied goods. It's, you know, one of the
leading causes of tooth decay and loss.
Helen has kind of just sort of set herself in the middle of the
room kind of betwixt the group of you.
You there wiry looking fellow. Are are you the owner of this?
Oh, I wish. Oh, wow.
I mean, if I I'm a I'm a woodworker.
I mean, if they, if I had this place, wow, I'd be set for life.
You know, some of this stuff, they just they can't, it cannot,
like literally cannot be recreated.
Some of that and some of that over there.
I'm one of those. I mean, yeah, no, this, this
place is. If I had this place, well, I'd
be set. And you're obviously a You have
any hobbies? Do I have any hobbies?
Any hobbies? Yeah, I like reading.
I, I you're in, you're obviously in the construction business.
How are you with demolition? Uh, demolition, I like making
stuff. I have, like, I do like carving
and stuff like that. That's what I'm like a I'm like
a, I'm like a wiry guy. I figured if I got like a
halfling or a dwarf or something like a kind of like a short guy,
wiry, covered in sawdust and stuff, I'm like, yeah, I just
carve stuff and, and, and I make stuff for people do like
reinforcement stuff. So what kind of stuff do you
like to read about? Like, do you like reading about
adventures or or fantasy or? Economics.
Yeah. Yeah, You know.
Go you. You don't wear you don't wear a
ring. Are you married?
I, I, I don't see how that's any of your business.
Or use that down next to me and my in this town where I live in
this pub where we all go and started asking me questions.
I'm just saying that what you you, you ask, you ask me a
question next. Do you happen to have a workshop
or property are you interested in?
Hey, buy me dinner first, am I right?
No. I got a workshop.
It's on the it's on the Main Street.
Down, down, over and over that way.
And are you leasing that workshop?
Well, listen, can you keep a secret?
The the last guy just died like in and and then I could just
take over the shop. They needed someone to like do
woodwork and stuff around here. Oh, wonderful.
OK, so your name's not even on the deed.
OK, that's great. That's wonderful to know.
No, no. What kind of form is that you're
writing in? It's frightening.
I'm just I'm I'm just gathering information about you seem.
You seem tense. Have you ever did?
What did you like? You came here.
It's like nighttime. There's a good nighttime event
happening in your immediate going to work.
You seem like your life's real busy.
You're busy. You describe yourself as a busy
business lady. I would describe myself as an
ambitious go getter. I have a career.
I just want to just check in and I just don't like the
implication that me asking if you're busy and your life is a
sexist comment towards you. As a woman, I just want to check
what's going on around and I raise my voice so other people
can hear me in the vicinity. Are you accusing me of just just
asking you a new a gender neutral question?
You just seem to be implying that that's sexist.
As a man playing, I'm now going to try and navigate this.
She makes eyes at Crystal for help.
I'm so sorry I I didn't get your name.
Mr. Brush. Brush McNamara.
McNamara. That's wonderful.
Do woodwork and stuff. Pretty wholesome if you ask me.
As soon as she looks and acknowledges I, Garnett the
player have been shuffling my tarot cards since like the game
started and as soon as she like looked at me I pulled 1 and I
don't know if you could tell what that is because I'm blurred
but that is the lovers card of this deck.
Oh shit. Oh no.
I've tried to be mean, but it's been legging, has it?
Oh no. Oh, Beckett.
Anyway. This, this bloody this bloody
rizz I got. Oh no.
Oh my. God, Crystal is just like
looking at this card and her hand is shaking a little bit and
she's looking at Helen. I knew it, I knew it.
I knew Love was going to fix this.
It's OK, Everything, everything's going to be fine.
I thought the cards weren't going to like you, but this is
great news. Uh, OK.
And she reaches into her pocket and she takes out a business
card. She hands it to you.
One side of the very, very match.
The other side has this really nice kind of gloss.
You just see Gardner Realty, Helen Winter BAMAPHD and like
her sending stone details and on the back then Gardner Realty
putting the gent into gentrification.
In response to to that and just being overly excited about this,
Crystal is then going to reach into one of her many pockets and
she pulls out the largest rose quartz that can fit inside of a
coat pocket and she's just going to hand it to her.
It's like I normally sell these at my shop for quite a bit of
silver. Interesting.
And is your shop on the Main St. as well?
It's off to a little alleyway. I like to have a little bit of
seclusion and quiet for when I'm doing my card readings for
people. Plus it upsets the candles if
everything is too loud. I well that is good to know.
And your name is. Crystal ball.
Oh, Crystal ball. OK, yes, and small shop off the
alleyway on Main Street. Wonderful OK, wonderful,
wonderful plans that we have in mind for that area.
And would you be interested in leasing one of our small mom and
pop pop up shops when the development takes place?
Or are you looking to just vacate the premises?
My family's been here for generations.
Why would I leave? Oh, that's wonderful.
OK. So we can definitely sell that
mom and pop generation feel. Got it.
Great. We can cash in on that big time.
I'm not entirely sure why you're like the vibes were really good
just like moments ago and now the vibes are a real.
Real. Weird.
The vibes were Immaculate a minute ago, yeah.
The vibes were really great. Like, yeah, but hold it.
She's just going to grab her hands and like shove the, the,
the, the court, the, the Rose quartz and then just just just
focus on on the stone. I promise you everything is
going to be great selling. There's no reason to, to sell or
or lease. Just we just need a little bit
of help in in positive ways. Focus on the Rose quartz.
I promise you, everything's going to be just fine.
I'm just going to and she kind of pulls away from you Crystal,
and when she does, she kind, I'm just looking for the as she says
owner. She turns and she clocks Jack
north right into the the jaw with the back of her hand when
she's holding the Rose quartz. I'm so sorry.
I am. She reaches into like her her
her pocket and she pulls out like a handkerchief and she kind
of just like she there. It's fine.
It's like he's. Oh, is there any?
Is there any ice? Is there any ice in the area?
There's Yeah, there's a low behind the bar if you want to.
I grab a handful of ice and I go, no, that won't that, No,
that handkerchief's too small. That won't do it quick.
Oh, we need some to put. Jack.
Take take a shirt off Jack. Take take a shirt off Jack and
put we'll put the ice in your shirt, Jack.
Quickly. Give me Jack.
It'll. Well.
Give me a hard. Roll you get higher higher than
three. Higher, higher than three, yeah.
It's a 2. You run over brush and you grab
a handful of ice brush. It's you're all you're all
right. I like it kind of takes the hand
away. And there is there's a small
little cut just under his lip and like Helen kind of has has
she goes to dab at it. And he was like, I, who are you?
And again, between the pair of them, there is this Helen
Winter. She's here surveying.
They've already like, she's kind of finished surveying that she's
looking for the owner. She reckons she could probably
get it for maybe 800 gold pieces.
There's so much work to be done to like bring this place up to
code. It's a terrible, paltry, smelly,
dingy dive bar. All the while you all see Jack
just kind of nodding at her and, and then she kind of turned.
So is there, I'm, I'm so sorry. I it is quite late and I am so
tired and I have so many homes and businesses to survey
tomorrow. Is there a place in this village
that somebody could actually sleep in that's not haunted and
or terrible? You could stay right here.
Mm hmm, this is the Tavern. I've taken the liberty of
upgrading one of the in rooms with our new experimental beds.
No, they're they're surely, surely, surely nevermount has
like another inn or. I I mean, you could, you could
stay at mine, but I think here would be nicer for you to be
honest. And Jack moves behind the bar
and take out this heavy Ledger kind of covered in dust.
Helen Winter one night and she kind of looking at you.
Meryl, you said I could possibly your abode.
Oh, but here it's much nicer. Mine's got too much stuff and
there's just wreath decorations everywhere.
It would be I, I just feel like here would be and you'd be at
the centre and you could see everyone come and go and there's
town and so much hard, just love.
Yeah, no. Wonderful.
Wonderful, yeah. I do love the company and Dick
is off to the way on business, but I I just think that you
would be so much more better here in this place, you know,
and and I'll I'll bring you some soft throws that I've created
and I'll I'll I have I've hand stuffed a pillow and I'll bring
them over immediately with with some dinner and goods.
Please, please, no, you've you've you're all very villagers
and I'm just yes, Helen Winter, one room for one without the
future bed, if possible, and Jack kind of gives you the look
brush. She kind of gives you kind of,
of course, without the future bed, wink Snowdrop, uh, has been
kind of been kind of circling her, uh, for most of the time.
Uh, and it's that thing that kids start doing where it's
like, umm, and that's my dad and, and, and that's Crystal
and, and that's cran beer and that's my friend brush.
Umm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm going to be an apprentice in brushes
workshop. Uh, and that's my friend Meryl.
Umm, her husband is really, really nice.
Umm, and she, she helps me do crafts and then she takes out a
wreath that she made and it's like, like a mishmash of like
the paper decorations. And there is a small little
bottle of Brandy in the middle of it.
Though all of you recognize that she's kind of made with the help
of brush, a little wooden cutting of the Evergreen tree.
It was the the center of the town's Xmas festival rituals and
she's made little kind of holes in it.
I wanted to put a candle behind it, but brush that if I put a
candle needed and, and next to all the dried branches that it
would just catch fire and burn everything down.
So brush is really smart and he's really conscious of health
and safety and and and Cran beer and cran beer is makes the best
chocolate logs wonderful upstairs, I assume.
And Jack just kind of smiles at her very sort of like slyly just
kind of a yes. Do you want someone to help your
bags or yeah, are you able to? I'm fine.
And she goes to move and when she does, the handle comes out
of the trunk and everything spills out.
All of you do spy a slight flash of colour.
You do see the guy what looks like a red sleeve as she bundles
everything into it, and she flits upstairs kind of like
briefcase on top of the trunk, trunk in her arms.
She's muttering her way to herself and, uh.
The door slams behind her and Jack just kind of looks at the
four of you kind of scooping Snowdrop up into her arms.
Well, she's a. Ticket.
Yeah. Harbinger of death for the town,
I think. I I have, I have very little.
I don't do great with social cues.
Jack, are you married? He looks, everybody kind of
looks separate. You're only new brush, but
everybody kind of gives you that look.
I was, I was married. Snowdrop's mom passed away a
couple of years back. Fuck I'm so sorry and I said
that ignorant thing a minute ago.
Oh no, it's it's fine. And Snowdrop just kind of
nuzzles into her dad do. You ever want to meet anybody?
Oh, brush. I have.
A question for you. I need some work done in the
shop and Cran Beer is going to like, put an arm around brush
and be like, tell me more about yeah.
But I'm having a conversation. I'm trapped.
What about those future beds? And you said you can make
anything and he's going to try and, like, usher him out and
kind of look over his shoulder and be like, sorry, I'll tell
you. I'll tell you all the gossip
just to catch you up on what you've missed in the town.
I can't believe the four of us have never talked about all this
kind of stuff before. I think we're going to be best
mates. Jack kind of goes kind of like
start to tidy up after the town hall and Helen doesn't manifest
for the evening. The four of you led by Cran Beer
down towards their bakery. You all find yourself situated
around a table. I for one was real happy with
all the noises we heard walking down the street, am I right?
And I'm like posting up for the high fives because people are
fucking in the town. Cram beer is actually just going
to like smile and be like, oh fuck it, why not and give like a
full forest high 5 And he's going to like have a nice bread
on the table. So there's going to be like
steaming mugs of like alcoholic, like Creme liqueur.
And he's going to like do a Riker sit, turn one of the
chairs around, like swing his leg over and like squat and like
sit and be like, we need to talk about that wagon.
And like his shirt is like rolled up and his like muscles
are like bulging. She is terrible.
And she's fixed on demolishing this town.
You saw a little you Snow saw Snowdrop absolutely distraught
at what this lady was going to do to her family business and
everything else. Like the toy shop, this place.
Someone really made that kid cry real hard.
I definitely think we need to have a group session on
children's etiquette, but beyond that, what?
Do you think was in her? Bag.
Oh, the red thing. Yeah.
What was that? Oh, I don't know.
I think we should find that out. I mean, it, it looked, it looked
like at least a shirt, if if not a dress, Maybe it was just a it
was just a sleeve. So it it's at the very least
it's it's top, but it could be a dress.
Very odd considering the the lack of joy and life in.
Her. Wardrobe and her demeanor brush
how good are you with locks as in doors.
Here's the thing. The trick with a door is
actually not to take the lock off most doors.
You can take the pins off the wall and remove the hinges and
just take the door off entirely. So I'm actually pretty bad with
locks, but I can get in anywhere.
That's perfect. It's a little cold so maybe
don't just take doors off randomly Brush.
Yeah. No, I don't.
I don't. But I could to any of your
houses. I won't try it.
I'd never do that to any of you guys.
But I want you to know that I could.
What door do you need me to take off the hinges?
I'll do it. I I think there's probably a
actual reason that we need to know what's in that case.
There is no reason we would need to go into her room.
There is if there was an issue with the bed.
If there was legislation signed by the mayor that all the beds
in town had to be upgraded. Yes, yes, yes.
And I think, I think we could get that signed so quickly.
Hand me my wreathing. Tools.
How perchance are is is? Are these bed updates supposed
to be proposed free of charge? We legitimately need to go into
all of the rooms. If we happen to see something in
there, you know, we're, we're, it's, it's, it's not our fault,
right? We're just looking after the the
comfort and and safety and sexual health of the town.
I could get paid a little bit. I we will pay you in Coco.
Can I just check in on like what our overall plan is with this?
Like this lady, like you guys aren't going to kill her, right?
No. Good, OK, cool.
Me, me neither because like I just wanted to check because
you're all being vague about what we're actually going to do.
I'm I'm trying to make her and the the bar guy.
I, I think they should like smashed genitals, you know what
I'm saying? Except I think they could fall
in love and be a family and stuff and.
Yeah, that's what the cards were saying.
That's the card, the cards, right?
Do you agree with me? Well, I'm assuming we're going
to have Jack in with us while we.
Oh. No.
I'd vote to not have Jack
involved in any schemes for matchmaking.
Jack would sour the vibes, I think.
I think it has to happen organically in that we need to
get into that room, find out what that red shirt is, and we
need to manufacture moments of connection.
I can try and set one up here while she's out surveying.
Yeah, me. Cute.
What if we had a Christmas ball where everyone has to wear red
and then we don't have to squeeze the room at all?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we can do both, right? They can meet a couple of times
and then the Christmas ball is like where the kids all in love.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone has to bring someone.
Yeah, yeah, I. Feel like if we can just
contrive scenarios where they're both in the same place at the
same time, it won't work for a while and then it'll work.
I think that sounds good, yes. And as well, I have a confession
as well. You know, that kid and the kid
who lives in the place I took that, I took that.
I took that little notebook that she has that she was writing
stuff in. And I don't know if anyone's
better at handwriting than me, but I was like practicing
writing like a contrived message about all her hopes and dreams
and all that stuff. And then we're like slip that
into the ladies luggage that if she tries to leave then she'll
see this note and think it's from the kid.
Let's not steal from children. And we could probably convince
Snowdrop to do that herself. Yeah, Snowdrop would be, you
know, Snowdrop. She's such a great kid.
She would definitely want to be involved and she doesn't want
the town to be bulldozed. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah. And she's she's a little stupid.
I'm pretty sure she'll do whatever we hey.
Hey, yeah. It's OK, not everyone can be as
good as my kids and that's fine. At this point, as you're
debating on how cool our stupid snowdrop is as a child, the door
to Crown Beer's Bakery and patisserie shop opens and the
mayor is standing there. We've been a little in inspired
after as she redden's in the face.
Well, we, we, we put our minds and bodies together and we think
that, well, if, if this is if this is the last time we're all
together, then Never Mount should go out with a bang.
The Xmas Festival is definitely happening.
It's going to be a bit ramshackle and a bit thrown
together last minute, but by gumption we're gonna fucking do
it. She's 2 bags under her arms and
she just throws a bunch of Xmas decorations in like like one of
the bags into the shop. Get busy, we're all doing
displays. Some are very interpretive.
She flits out like just more pep in her step than you've seen
from mere Myrtle in many, many years.
OK, well, looks like the plan is a go.
Alright. When, when shall we next meet?
Well, tomorrow morning she'll have to come down for breakfast
at Jack's, right? OK, so should we be there for
breakfast at Jack's or well? I know she wanted to come and
look at my shop so maybe I can distract her a little bit.
Second, yeah, we'll do 2 me cubes tomorrow.
We can get Jack to your shop when she goes there.
Yeah. And you can do a dual reading.
Yeah, We, we've got this. We, we, if we do this, if we
pull this off, we could very well save the town.
With a a bag full of brightly coloured Xmas decorations, a
plan and a hope, you all feel kind of a rush of Xmas magic.
So at any point from here on out, if needed, instead of
rolling for head or heart, you can instead use Xmas magic to
make the thing happen. But then you'll have to roll on
the Xmas Wild magic table with the four of you kind of gathered
around and brush you're showing snowdrops with her diary to
everybody she's written an awful lot about like how much she
loves, nevermind how much she loves her dad.
And in her little heart, she only has 2 wishes.
One, she wishes to see her dad happy.
And she also really wishes to see the ever bright green tree,
uh, lit up just once. All of you know it.
It was the it's the centrepiece of Nevermount Xmas Festival, a
huge Evergreen tree that glistens with Xmas magic every
year as a shining beacon. It also double S up as sort of a
lighthouse for ships. For many, many years it has been
dimming to the point that now it just doesn't really do much, and
they've instead installed a actual functioning lighthouse.
It's the following morning. The snow hasn't let up.
There's a kind of a fresh powder of it on every roof, on every
street corner. But there's something new in the
air that all of you kind of notice.
For the first time in a long time, the village of Nevermount
seems to have gotten a little bit of its spark back, a little
bit of its glow. And everybody is looking a
little chirper, a little perkier, a little randier than
they've done in previous years. And they busy themselves setting
up decorations, like dusting off all boxes of all kinds of prop
and tinsel, you name it. So the town is getting a full on
Xmas makeover, and that energy is in the air everywhere except
the Evergreen Inn, Crystal Brush, Crown Beer, and Meryl.
As the four of you sleep inside for a morning frostucino and a
healthy plate full of apple pancakes, you find Jack
grumbling to himself behind the countertop, a snowdrop set on a
small table. Drawing away to herself, Jack
doesn't notice the four of you enter.
Morning, Jack. How's things?
How's how's things? Well, things would be great if I
didn't have possibly the worst guest the Evergreen Inn has
ever. And he says this upwards hosted
in its entire 300 years of establishment.
And and Snowdrop kind of turns around the lady, Helen, Helen,
Helen, Helen, the business lady. She said that the pillows were
too soft and then that the blankets were too hard, and then
that the bed was too from the future and that the room was a
bit dusty. Then the room was a bit cold,
and then the room was too warm, and then that the pillows were
too crunchy and she goes on and on.
And apparently the breakfasts that I have slaved away this
morning, making her at her request.
Who is alerted to apples? Demons, I hear.
And and people who haven't been exposed to apples until too late
in in life. So who who, who?
Who? Who's never?
Who has? Who has never been exposed to an
apple? I'm, I, I'm just saying, you
know, she, she seems very straight.
She seems, she's very, very tight.
And maybe she was never given applesauce as a baby.
Do you think she's hot? OK, And then Crystal is going to
light a smudge stick, and then she's going to light a smaller
one for Snowdrop, and she's going to hand it to Snowdrop and
be like, do you want to help me get rid of all the bad vibes?
And we're just going to start running around the space waving
the smudge sticks around. Snowdrop again takes a smudge
stick and it is kind of running around behind her like as you
are kind of like taking Snowdrop away.
She kind of just looks up at you, Chris says.
She goes. My daddy said that Helen was a
bad word and she's kind of writing it with the smoke in the
air. It's BIT.
No, we're trying to get rid of the bad vibes.
We're trying to get rid of the bad vibes.
We don't spell bad words with this -6.
Do I think she's hot brush? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guy talk, Guy talk, guy talk. In in the searing rage that I
feel, she has a bell. She brought a bell.
She's booked in for two more nights.
The mayor has asked her to stay. Jack, three things.
One, you haven't answered my question.
I get look, she's pretty, but. That's all I need.
Thank you, Jack. Say no more.
OK, two businesses business. That's a three night stay from
an outsider in the hotel. That's got to be good for the
economy around here, right? Yeah, I, I, I mean, she she gave
like Snowdrop. You found Snowdrops journal
yesterday. Helen did give her some paper
from her briefcase. If you if you happen to see it
around the place, let me know, because she was kind of upset,
but she couldn't find her diary last night.
Oh no. Problem.
OK, I will. I'll take a look.
Oh well. Oh, I'm surprised she gave her
paper from that case of hers. That's quite oddly generous.
I thought maybe I had. I'd hoped maybe Snowdrop stole
it. I thought maybe, like my, my
child had resorted to petty crime.
But no, she said. She knocked on Helen's door, and
she gave her some paper. Oh yes, that sounds like a nice
lady thing to do. Objectively, Jack, wouldn't you
agree? Yes, That's all I need, Jack.
Fantastic. Cool.
OK, great. And three, if she made you come
with a bell. Imagine.
You know what? And I zip away to go and talk to
the lady. And again, it's a feel like as
like as you go to say it's like brush.
I didn't. And he gets very red in the
face. Oh, Jack, Why?
Why the red face? Look, I I've just finished
remaking her breakfast, I'm going to bring it upstairs.
Can you keep an eye on Snowdrop as he manoeuvres up the stairs?
He's heading towards the stairs in her room.
Is there anything we should do to try and influence this
interaction or should we just let it go because I feel like a
lot of these are going to fail before 1 works.
I think we should definitely listen it.
Yeah, for. Sure, right.
Yeah, so Crystal will stay down with Snowdrop as she is
attempting to to shock her. Like you know, every corner is
important, north-south, east, West to get really good vibes
and you have to do them in order.
And then you want to stand in the center of the room and very
slowly turn in a circle, and then you're going to turn in the
opposite direction of me. So we make sure that we get both
past, present and future. All good vibes.
I, I, I'm going to be honest with you, Crystal, the smoke is
making me feel real dizzy. And yeah, it is.
She is kind of just kind of like buffing around with it.
Nope. Nope.
And we're going to, we're going to take that and we're going to
very carefully, we're going to take the silver platter and, and
just just smudge those those right out.
All right, so now let's see if we can go find your journal.
OK. So you're going to go look for
Snowdrops Journal the rest of you or is that thing like we're
at the stair kind of I think. I think I'd like to be in the
guest room next to it with a glass.
OK, in this moment, Meryl, as you head up to check on the
other guest room that is empty, you slip up past Jack.
He he doesn't really kind of notice you.
He's just kind of concentrating on bringing the tray up crown
beer and brush the the pair of you at the the bottom of the
stairs just kind of listening up.
He knocks on the door and from the other side we all hear the
door open. Helen appears in one of her
business suits, ascending stone tucked between her shoulder and
her ear, and she looks down at at the tray.
Excuse me one moment, Mr. Gardner, please.
Finally a possible meal. Thank you.
And she takes the tray and he, he just stares at her as she
shuts the door with a hip. And he turns back, sees the pair
of you, gestures at the door, gestures at ye.
And it's just like unbelievable. Merrill, many a time you've
snooped on a neighbour. I I would imagine glass pressed
up against the paper thin walls that will now have to be
reinforced following the mandated bed updates that the
mayor is drafting the the laws on.
You hear half a conversation from the other side.
No, I, I arrived yesterday, Sir. No, all all all is fine.
All is well. It's yeah, I I I definitely see
the potential there. There's a lot here.
It's tiny, though, like they, and there's nothing.
I the mayor has said town is empty.
So if we're looking to buy, I think we could probably get a
deal on this. I don't think we need to go too
heavy with the sales. I I'd say 80% of property value.
That should be enough. There is a couple of vacant
lots. Oh, the the inn.
Yes, I'm, I'm staying in the inn.
It's quaint. Oh, the owner.
I haven't had the chance to sit down and talk with him.
He's not exactly the most approachable.
No. I, I, I, I Yes, Mr. Gardner, I
will. Of course.
I know. Yes.
You've said before certain. The deal rests on the sale of
the Evergreen Inn. I understand.
I'll get him to sign the papers today, Sir.
Thank you. From the other side of the wall,
Meryl, you just, you hear her kind of sigh.
She sits down. Oh, it's actually really good
pancakes. And Helen goes about reading
herself for the day. You've been listening to
Snowden, a Romance in the Dungeon Xmas holiday special.
I'm Jacqueline and I've been your dungeon master.
You've been listening to Steve as Brush, Ashton as Crystal,
Emma as Meryl, and Tendai as Cran Beer.
Absolute blast getting to play a Holiday Chance at Love by Sam
needs a hack or home brew of the Lasers and Feelings system.
You can check out details for that in the episode description,
as well as links to the wonderful players and their
social profiles and websites. If you haven't heard or watched
an episode of Benedict Honor Roll, we have a fantastic
interview with Steve, the creator of the Irish board game
Dungeons and Naggins. If you want to check it out,
visit dungeonsandnaggins.com. There's still loads of copies
available. You can go and pick up one.
They've, I think they've got a reprint of everything.
So it might be a little late for the holiday season, but
everybody loves getting gifts in January.
So there's your, there's your January Blues defeated Part 2 of
Snowden will drop next week just after the big day.
And I hope you check it out. I hope you have had a blast.
Wherever you're listening to this.
Please give us a thumbs up, five star rating, leave a review,
tell a friend. Maybe this could be the gift you
give somebody. The gift of humor and comedy and
laughter and love. Future beds that have been
reinforced. Smudge sticks, Yule logs, reeds
filled with little bottles of vodka.
Whatever you're going to be celebrating over the next couple
of days and whoever you're going to be celebrating with for
myself and the rest of the team at DA Dungeon, I just want to
wish you a very happy, safe, peaceful, warm few days.
And well, there's there's an episode out next week, so I'll
have something else that, but until then, take care.
Mind yourself. I wanna.
Yeah. You have just one set.
We'll be with you in one second. So.
And I Do I know this lady. Do I know her name?
The old lady who's asked me. Oh, the old yeah.
So she's just she's just called old Mod.
Old mod. I explained to her in in graphic
detail that like, yeah, that means they're DTF down to fuck
you, but then it's up to you whether you want to want to fuck
them back. Oh, do you hate that, Jim?
And she starts. I.
Meanwhile, Jim has now got a bowl and he's trying to collect
people's house keys. We all, I I turn back to the to
Helen, to the new lady.