Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me a Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I have with me a
special guest Cauldron. Hi.
How are you? Oh, I'm ecstatic to be here
today. I was talking about the the
little dirty things that we do in the dark.
Oh my God. Bring them into the light like
messengers. I may have had a couple extra
coffees this morning. Oh, that's OK.
That, trust me, I had a good 40 oz.
Yeah, you got to have it. Yes.
You know, so, so Caldron, you are like me, you're kind of in
the South somewhat. You're there in Tennessee and,
you know, there's quite a bit of Kingsters in our, you know,
communities, but when did you actually start your journey and
all of this? Well, I'm 48 and I was 18 when I
officially entered into a club for the first time.
Was dating a girl who had a her family owned a nudist colony
down in Florida and yeah, she was a few years older than me.
She was 22, so 4 years older, and she introduced me to all of
this wonderful craziness and well, really she didn't.
She didn't introduce me to it. She introduced me to the world
and she allowed me a place to express myself and brought that
side out. She was very nurturing lover.
Did she take your cherry? No, I was 13 when that happened,
apparently clawing, biting, growling the whole time.
And yeah, I'm very primal and it just comes natural.
And I, I never even realized it until I met her.
And she, she's like, you were so animalistic.
And that explained why every person I'd ever been with was
nobody, nobody has ever fucked me like you fucked me.
And I'm like, what does that mean?
And they're like, I don't know, I can't explain it, but it's a
good thing. And I'm like OK, cool, as long
as it's a good. Thing right That's that's hot.
Yeah, it was kind of an ego boost.
I felt good about it, can't lie. But from there, it just, it just
took off. She mentored me for a few years
and we switched. And that was kind of the
downfall of that relationship. I especially was not mature
enough and I didn't, I didn't have an example of what a
healthy relationship look like. So it was it was going to fail
for two reasons. One, what I just said about
maturity and no examples of healthy relationships.
And two, I my pinky is is the bone that holds the the subside
in me. Yeah, I'm with you.
Doctors and dentists, though, I absolutely hate dentists.
Those are the only people that I will really submit to and logic
and I will submit to logic. But other than that, yeah, no,
I'm, I'm very dominant in both professional and personal life
and dominant and not domineering.
But at the time, you know, she needed both things.
I only needed one aspect of of the slash.
And so it didn't really work out.
I would I'll give anything to find her today, but I've I've
looked for 20 years and been able unable to locate her.
But yeah, it's that's how I got started.
Wow, I'm good at tracking people.
I might have to help you in that journey.
Oh, that'll be awesome. How cool is that?
I it was an absolute amazing situation, like the best case
scenario really, even though you know it, it didn't end great.
I think we were both at the end of it.
We were both thankful for our time with each other.
But you know, there was good and bad in with every breakup, but
just the the amount of teaching that from her and her family
that was there and the different aspects, the introductions to
other people that led me into doing some adult filming,
private adult filming and professional topping and you
know, stuff like that in Atlanta was the education.
I was definitely not emotionally or mentally mature enough for it
at the time. And of course, you know, I
thought I was, I wasn't, but I still wouldn't change it because
I was, I was very logical and safe.
And that's, that's the difference between me and
somebody else that could have gone through the exact same
thing, but not had that logical and safe side to them.
I think it would have been devastating, would have been
absolutely traumatic. And I'd, I'd probably be curled
up in a ball in an institution right now.
Well, I mean, it was, it was diving straight into the deep
end like Mariana Trench, kind of depths of, of, of education.
And, you know, I got a doctorate in kink in a two year period.
Yeah. Pretty much if there was a thing
that could be done, I, I experienced it and yeah, it's,
it's good times. It it was good times.
And just, I mean, obviously thinking back on it, I do think
of it very passionately and, and very fondly.
Yeah. So that's that's been a nutshell
in my start. I like that.
Met people with with eyeball licking fetishes and coat hanger
fetishes. Yeah, I've had that.
Wow, just about every single strange, you know, atypical
fetish other than just feet and ass and you know all of that.
It's which I'm not putting those down.
Don't you know, I very much have an ass fetish, But feet, No, no,
I can't do. Feet's a hard limit for me.
But yeah, it's, it's it's so beautiful, no matter how weird
it is, as long as it doesn't involve children or animals and
everybody consents and it's, you know, semi sane and safe.
But why do what you want? Why?
I mean, I've had people beg me to do amputations and things
like that. Yeah.
One guy wanted his his leg cut off and no, absolutely not not
going to do that. That's that's a felony not
happening. What could maybe just like my
pinky toe. Can you at least just do that?
You know, I'll pay you $5000 and I'm like, no, can't do that.
I mean, I, I was, I was probably 2324 I.
Considered. It, yeah, I mean, I, I, I
considered it. I was going to say right now
though, you might consider it right.
I think I would. You know.
I mean, it's not going to kill him.
I would consider it, but I definitely would not do it
because again, that whole felony thing and it being sane, like I
worked in mental health, surprise, surprise, for 20
years. We both did.
We have. Similar.
Backgrounds with this, it's so looking at the psychology of the
people that I play with in my personal life that I topped in
in my former professional life. It's, it's both a blessing and a
curse because you recognize something in somebody and go,
oh, that's borderline psychosis or, or the other, but that's
borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder.
Somebody's in a manic phase and they're, you know, self
destructing and they don't realize it.
Or, you know, they're histrionic Or the the dark Trinity.
Yeah, you've got somebody trying to gaslight, gaslight you that's
going to flip things around on you.
And I don't know if you've ever experienced the Dark Triad or
the Dark Trinity. I have not.
But having somebody that when Machiavellian personality
disorder, so everything absolutely, positively
everything they do in their life is to benefit them and there's
no level of extremes that they will not go to to make sure that
they are meeting their needs and the amount of manipulation and
lying, mix that with, you know, 100% pure narcissism and. 0
Compassion. 0 compassion, 0 empathy, and then have them come
to you claiming to be one thing with 100% intent to flip the
script on you and have you tied up.
Oh yeah, yeah. But yeah, and it's, Oh yeah,
luckily I was able to recognize that the one time that I saw
somebody, which is funny because I saw that as a professional
Dom, but I never once ran across somebody like that actually
working in the side field. Yes, right.
They're that good. They could.
Have. Yeah, yeah.
It's amazing. They can have they can evade and
they can skirt the law and yeah, it's it's it's so much more
dangerous than the and I know I'm way off topic here from.
Actually, no, no, but it's. It's so sociopathy and
psychopathy in relation to like serial killers, which by the
way, there's a whole lot of people who have sociopathy who
are sociopaths, who don't experience empathy, who are high
level, high functioning members of society.
And people don't realize that. I know you do, but most people
don't. But to add that Machiavellian
aspect to it where since everything that they do is to
benefit them and they have no empathy, but that that
Machiavellian aspect pulls them within the lines of the law.
So they really are experts at skirting the law.
In fact, it's my understanding that a law enforcement or a law,
a lawyer, those two fields going in the legal field of some
aspect, can often draw those people with those disorders into
it. I believe it.
Anyway.
No, no, it's, it's such a honestly, it's, it's refreshing
because I love the psychological aspects of BDSM.
And then to talk about it last night, I was kind of geared in
that that mood. And there is an episode it it's
with Andrew McCarthy on SVU Law and Order and it's first season
episode 22. And he is, I think he's, I think
he's either, no, I don't think he's an attorney in this one.
I think he's like a stockbroker or something to that effect.
But he's obviously well to do, and he's married to a female
veterinarian and they live in New York.
And he ends up meeting a woman in Romania, brings her back to
the States. She's a young girl who was going
to go to NYU. And instead of getting her into
college, he kept her as a nanny and a prisoner in his home.
And yeah, And it is a twisted, twisted, yeah episode, but it's
a great episode because there's a part where Chris, what's his
name? Chris Leone Maloney.
Chris Maloney. Yeah.
And Mariska Haggerty, they open up a closet.
And I think the closet had like a a pocket door.
And they open it up and then they see this press board closet
with a padlock on it and they open it up and it's got like a
head cage and shackles. And immediately my husband and I
are like, oh, that's, that's so sexy, right?
And they couldn't find her, but they end up finding her.
And he had done an actual like a makeshift, what do you call it?
Almost like a coffin, a press board coffin under his bed.
And he disguised it behind his foot board.
It was twisted. It was so twisted.
It was great. It was a great episode.
Season 1, Episode 22. Yes.
OK, I wrote it down. I'm going to check that out.
I don't. You got.
Check it out. I haven't watched Law and Order
in forever and I've never seen SVU.
OK. Yeah.
So I'll, I will check that out. But that reminds me, do you
remember back in the 90s that he may be too young?
We're the same age, you realize this.
No, I didn't know that. OK, well, yeah, I'm going to be
49 in a few days. Oh, OK, I'll be 49 in March.
Oh, Boxing Helena, have you ever seen that?
No. OK, so it's kind of like a
skinny Max flick from from the mid to late 90s.
OK, I highly recommend checking it out.
A woman gets hit by a car in front of this guy's house and he
takes her in. And I believe he's he's, he may
have been a physician, I don't recall what his career was, but
he ends up amputating limbs and nursing her back to health as he
does this because he's just crazy in love with her.
Wow. We're being crazy and but yeah,
it's it's a, it's a skin of Max Flicks.
So there's lots of Eroticism in it.
And of course they try to do the big surprise ending and all
that, but it's, yeah, it's wild. That's awesome.
And it's it's not a gore fest either.
It's not one who's the the those fun bloody TNA's, which I'm a
blood fetishist too, so I kind of enjoy those.
But yeah. No shame.
No shame, Yeah. Makita, which yes, I know that's
a tool. No, was the the person's name
who introduced me. I actually met her in an
underground rave in Atlanta and it was a vampire, you know, in
the 90s you got all the, the big good vampire things coming out.
And that was the scene that I met her in.
And it was because I was such a blood fetishist.
I had a thing for vamps and, you know, that kind of young teenage
goth thing. So yeah, that.
That's awesome. And the plot thickens.
That's awesome. Thick as blood.
Oh man. That's very cool.
Well, you know, I haven't been to Atlanta.
I haven't been to the dungeons or anything there, and I really
need to get up and just try it, go to a couple dungeon parties
and experience it. I just, you know, time consumes
me here with things. But I think the more interesting
thing that I ever did was two years ago my husband and I went
to Amsterdam and we, yeah, it was so fun.
But here we were next to a mosque and it was an old Chinese
restaurant they converted into a dungeon slash bath house.
Oh cool. It was so cool.
They still had a fucking Chinese buffet though.
They called. I'm like, honey, I can beat you.
And then we can go and eat some, eat some dim sum or something,
you know? Oh God, that's like diamonds and
lace in Chattanooga. I I think it's still there.
They have probably one of the best lunch buffets I've ever
eaten at. In the strip club.
That's awesome. Yep.
I mean, it's it's phenomenal. Or it was.
Now I haven't been there in 25 years, but awesome.
Yeah. Good times.
The dungeons in Atlanta Course 1763 they sold and then a few
years later they closed. Somebody bought the building
that they were in and there was a a big thing there with their
contract and the new owners didn't want to renew it.
So unfortunately they closed. But I believe there's been since
then, there's been like 3 more pop up within a 2 hour or hour
driving radius of it of the greater Atlanta area.
And I've not been to any of those yet.
I've been invited to two out of the three and I just, I haven't
had the opportunity to go down there yet.
Unfortunately due to a an injury I've had to limit what I do, but
I will get down there eventually.
Well, good, might have to meet you there.
Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't that be fun it?
Would. We'll explore.
I love Co topping, by the way, drawing off of the energy of of,
yeah, there was one time I built this.
It's like an ladder, a double ladder, A-frame.
I'm a woodworker. I built that obviously out of
wood and I did it just for performances, stage
performances. And we would have so one to two
people on each side of the ladder and then on the ends of
on each end of the ladder too, we'd have one person.
So we could have six people on the thing and then, you know,
456 tops just rotating around and doing all the warm ups as we
rotate around and then going into each of our favorite toys
and Oh my God, the energy flow. I think we had five people, 5
bottoms and six or 8 tops switching in and out.
It lasted for 3-4 hours. About. 3 1/2, Four hours.
Yeah. I mean, with that many people
being able to switch out and have more tops and you do
bottoms. I mean, it was I was so
exhausted and it was more so just mentally and emotionally
than physically in such a positive way.
But Oh my God, the drop from that was, duh, one of the one of
the worst. It went from being one of the
best experiences to one of the worst experiences because of the
drop. But I would do it again in a
heartbeat. I'm bad.
Now I know what to expect. Yeah.
Interesting. That's interesting.
I think that's something a lot of people really don't
understand what we go through as doms and having that, that rush
and then just pulling. Bless you.
Thank you. And I'm going to patriot spirits
of something. Sorry, that's another kink.
I grew up a good old southern backs boy down in northwest
Georgia. Now you want to be like a
Catholic priest and spank your nuns.
Yes, yes and yes. It's awesome.
Oh, yeah. So the people, people really
don't understand that. And you know, at one point I
was, I, I, I, well, I always meant to get shirts made that
say tops need aftercare too or, you know, whatever.
But people, people really don't. That's one thing that I'm I'm
very, in fact, that's the first thing when I'm negotiating the
scene with somebody. It's first, middle and last like
I want, I want that person know that I'm one of the good ones.
It is a power exchange. It is a negotiated thing.
And which means that I become invested emotionally into that
scene, whether it's 5 minutes or five years and I will need
aftercare. I'm going to need some snuggles
afterwards. Like I'm a snuggle slut.
I'm I'm a big old bear. I can be mighty growly and and
very mean and hateful. The when the when I flip that
switch between this fun podcast guy and me and a scene is two
different people. I have Hazel eyes, which means
my eyes typically will change colors with my mood.
And in a scene they turn very dark brown, almost black.
And yeah, that's why I'm having the most fun.
Yeah, people will tell me they're like, oh, you were so,
so, so, so sweet and so kind. And I'm like, yeah, we haven't
played in the dungeon yet, have we?
Yeah, at that point you're like, don't they always tell you to
watch out for the quiet ones? Well, they need to tell you to
watch out for the sweet ones too.
Exactly. And the sweet ones like you are
always the ones that I get along with.
And that's because you are the ones like you.
Oh, here's a here's a pro tip and looking for a pro.
So if if you are a listener of Mistress Mia on a regular basis
or if this is your first time here, please know that when
you're in search of a professional, you want somebody
who interacts with you as a person first and foremost,
because that is what you are when it all comes down to it.
And the sweet ones that do not immediately try to force their
dominance on you during a negotiation process or an
introduction, those are the ones that are in it only for
themselves and are abusive. Now, if you want to be abused,
then you can still be abused ethically.
And I am absolutely 100% certain that Mistress Mia would be
phenomenal at abusing you in all the most delicious ways
possible. But no, I mean it.
No, dude, are you doing a commercial for me?
Completely accidentally, but I mean every word of it.
Thank you. I mean, you, you are just,
you're a great example of that. And I'm kind of passionate about
that, especially right now because I don't go to my local
dungeon because of the situation with, with a, a a little 22 year
old who is who's trying to run the place.
And that sweet. Yeah, she's, she's got that
pretty privilege and that young and that youth privilege.
And the submissive male that owns the place who's, I don't
know, and his late been to late 50s now.
And, and in our area it's, it's hard to be a sub male.
It's, it's, it's very difficult to be a submissive male.
And he has a history of allowing these young ones to kind of take
over, take charge of the play area and do whatever they want
and treat people however they want.
And you know, it's not healthy for anybody there and it, it
cause costs him business in doing that.
But it's just so important to, to watch out for.
I'm, I'm very passionate. I like.
So I, I did a podcast, Cauldron's Crypt, a BDSM1O1
podcast, wearing a hat and a shirt from it today.
I did that for eight years, and the reason that it started was
because I started hearing all of these horror stories post 50
Shades. So in 2016, yeah, 2016, I got to
do something. Yeah, it's been almost 10 years.
I don't know anything really about this whole podcasting
thing. I tried to start one back in
like 2005, 2006. At the time you had to hand code
your RSS feed and, and do all this stuff, which was a little
bit more advanced than I had time to learn at the, you know,
And so I'm like, well, I'm going to check this out.
I'm going to, I'm going to see what this is about.
And the whole reason that I started it was to protect
people. And you know, I thought, well,
it's not paying me anything. If I can just save one person
from a, from an abusive situation or prevent one person
from getting into an abusive situation, then I've, I've it's
all worth it. And then damn, if the emails
didn't start coming in. And then as it just blew up and
become a bigger and bigger thing, and I'm not talking about
my podcast, I'm talking about BDSM in general post 50 Shades,
which meant that my podcast started blowing up.
And you know, I was getting hundreds of messages on Fetlife
and through emails a day asking questions.
And it's just, you know, people need to be more careful than
what they are and understand that frenzy is a real thing.
And I don't care if it's your first time hearing about it or
you're 100 years old and you've been doing it since you were
born. Frenzy can hit anyone at any
time without notice. It does not ask permission.
And it can completely devastate your life and your experience
within the scene and in your personal life.
I've seen it destroy people because they give into it
because at first it's like a manic episode.
Well, it is a form of of mania. It is a form of a manic episode.
Only you don't have to be bipolar to experience it.
And you just throw caution to the wind and you go do all the
things. And then there's shit tons of
regrets at best and shit tons of abuse at worst.
So I just caution people about that frenzy.
Got to watch out for that there frenzy.
Yeah, You know, it's a sad thing.
I, I'm like you, you know, my listener consists of my
listening bases, you know, now 85% men and I know obviously the
majority is going to be submissive men.
And it's so difficult for them to find a good female Dom who
isn't taking them for a ride either financially or otherwise.
But recently it's like, I had this, this cute little guy
reached out to me and, you know, he's just under 30 and he's, you
know, in a different country. And he's like, you know, I can
come over with a work visa and I can be your slave.
And I'm like, it's, it happens all the time.
And I'm like, listen, that's great.
You know, I, I already have, you know, my slave GIMP and I've got
my slave Sissy. And it's great.
And this is what I do professionally.
However, you really need to look at the person, talk to the
person and have a friendship and a relationship first before you
even delve into the aspects of ADS dynamic.
And that's what people miss all the time.
Oh man, that. So when I was, I was in the
shower and I was thinking about talking to you and looking
forward to it and what were we going to talk about?
And that was one of the things that came to mind was the the
bedroom Kingster, because of 50 Shades, is so incredibly
confused stepping into BDSM. Yeah.
There is a huge difference in that calm.
What is it a calm complex or compound anyway?
The the whole DS part with discipline and submission and
and dominance or discipline and sadomasochism and dominance and
submission and it really should be BDSMS.
Or whatever. You know, because, because
that's what I'm sure you run into this a lot just like I
have. But people who want the slap and
tickle and I do not say that disrespectfully to anyone
because if that's your thing, get your thing on.
Like I am all for that. But so many couples that I'm AI
wear a lot of hats. I'm also a certified life coach
and relationship coach and which I got that certification after I
started the podcast just to be able to better help these people
in and finding out legally what I was allowed to do.
So that was while I worked in mental health for all those
years, you know, I knew the laws on what I was allowed to do
there. But in having people come to me
for other things, you know, I, I and that really helped.
So people like, yeah, I just, I want to submit to my husband or
I want to submit to my wife, whatever.
And I'm like, but, but do you? But do you really like.
Yeah, I want the, I want the whole thing.
I want it all the time, 24/7. But do you really?
Have you tried it just for an afternoon or a day or a week?
No, no, no, no. I just know what?
And you know, they need to learn how to do this.
Like OK, what about you? Well, I just need to do what I'm
told. Oh no, no, you have to learn how
to be a submissive. You just like you have to learn
how to be a dominant and you also have to test the waters 1st
and not just dive in because it it's not going to go well.
Like 9 out of 10 times when you dive in it's not going to go
well. You got to do the research and
get educated and yes, it's fun, but it's also work and people
don't understand how much work DS is.
Very true. Oh my God, especially when
you're in a long term 24/7. You know my last sub it was 7
seven years I believe of 24/7 365.
It did not stop when we slept. In fact, sometimes there was
alarms in the middle of the night that had to be woken up to
or to complete tasks just because she needed a reminder of
who was in charge. Because she may have back talked
and it may have been disciplined or which sounds real sexy to
some people. And it is until you know you,
you have to. Get up on.
On every odd hour and write for 15 minutes in a kneeling
position and you have to be at work at 6:00 AM and work a 12 or
16 hour shift you know it's. Yeah.
Oh, memories. Yeah, it gets real, real quick,
doesn't it? Yeah.
And and that being negotiated too, you know, is, is that an
acceptable form of punishment? Just because you're the Dome, it
doesn't mean you can just punish any way you want.
And it seems like the the Insta domes, one of their favorite
ways to to punish is contact deprivation or isolation or
withholding communication, hugs, cuddles, whatever.
And that's abuse. Like unless, unless that person
has specifically said that is something that they need in
their life and you found out why it's something that they need in
their life. Which is where people often miss
out to in getting to know their partner.
Sitting down with the BDSM checklist, which you can find a
colder script.com/survey. Sorry, it's like a 7 or 8 page
survey that has all these different things and each person
can fill them out and see what where they line up and they can
talk about it and they can research the things that they
don't know together. And it's just a learning
experience together. And I about guarantee you that
you're going to stop going through it before you get
halfway done to have sex. Like you're going to you're
going to quit going through it because you're going to be so
hot talking about this stuff that you're not going to be able
to keep your hands off each other.
But in talking about it, finding out why you need this or, or you
want this, that's really the intimate part, getting to know
each other. I've had couples that were in
their 60s and they've been together since they were
teenagers be like, yeah, we want to try this stuff, help us out.
I'm like, OK. And they will come back and tell
me after I tell them what I've just said here, that in three
days of going through these surveys together, took them
three days because they get hot. They had stopped.
They had to have sex. I'm like, oh, you're in your mid
60s. Congratulations.
He's like, Yep, didn't even need any Viagra.
I've done my job helping people get happy, but they, they come
to me, both of them in tears because they had learned so much
about each other that they never knew in doing this.
It's so intimate and it helps you if you're somebody who's
terrified of intimacy, it will really help ease you into that
and can either send you into a panic attack or it can help you
to become free of your fear of intimacy.
It's just, it's, it's so beautiful, like AI love it on
that deeper level. And for those that are like,
Nah, man, that's not me. That's not what I'm about.
I just want the, the I want to pull some hair.
I want to buy some necks, smack some asses.
I love seeing them butt cheeks get red.
I do too. I love that.
That's fucking awesome. Like that's yes, but it can also
be a much deeper thing. If that's what people want and
it's your BDSM, you make it what fits your needs and find
somebody else that shares in those needs.
Anyway, sorry I get preachy. No, you're OK.
And the Lord said, be you spanked in my name.
Goodness gracious. Yeah, I'll post that link as
well on this episode so people can can catch it up and try it
out. It's so true.
Yeah, it's, it's. Have you filled one out?
I mean, I'm sure you've you have your own version of it.
I do. I have, you know, I, I'm like
you. I think I just know myself so
well after, you know, 30 years of this, you know.
I like I like to do the what is it the bdsm.org test or
bdsmtest.org? I think it is.
I like to do that when I was highly, highly active, every
time the doors of the dungeon of a dungeon within a 2 hour
driving radius of me was open, I was there.
I would top 12 people a night service topping and I would go
through that, that BSM test about every six months to see
where see if I changed anything. And granted, it's, it's not 100%
accurate. Definitely won't disagree
because there are people out there that I've met that hate
that thing. Like, why would you waste your
time doing that? And it's not a waste of time.
You just have to take it with a grain of salt.
But then and then going through my own checklist every six
months to a year and I still do that even though I'm not as
active. Like I do it at least I'd say
every year and a half just to see, because the more that I
play, the more that I talk to people and get different
perspectives, the the more I may change.
And so I want to keep up with that.
And I can be highly resistant to change.
And so knowing that about myself, I kind of, I kind of
have a way of mind fucking myself into not being so
resistant to change and, and redoing those tests is just one
way that I can do that. So, and, and I'm not trying to
plug myself. I don't do my, I haven't done my
podcast in a couple of years now, but I do want to say that
if anybody wants does that, the, the survey on there will ask for
your e-mail address. You do not get put into my
e-mail list. It asks that so it can e-mail
you a copy for you to print out and and so you and your partner
can fill those out, print out those copies or pull it up on
your phone and then go over them together.
That's that's the only reason. Yeah, no, I don't.
The only emails I ever sent out anyway was when I published a
new episode. And I haven't done that, like I
said, in a couple years. So but that that tool, because I
wanted people to be able to do it without having to worry about
spam and all that stuff. Yeah, it does not get put on any
list. Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah.
I think that's, I completely agree with you.
It's just such a good thing that you can self reflect and that
people can discover more about themselves.
I guess just with me, I'm just doing it every day, either
professionally or personally, you know, it's, it's just
something I know that I love doing And I, I, I don't think
anything that there really hasn't been, that I haven't
already experienced that I could say, you know, I think if
anything, I've grown more into what I enjoy, you know.
Yeah, Master Gear, who's learned under Master Gabriel of House
Ravenblood, who learned under Mistress Cyan, who runs Dom Con
he which there's Dom Con Los Angeles and Dom Con New Orleans.
They they were in Atlanta at one point, but those are the two
primary before COVID hit. They were going to go to Europe
and Australia, but that hasn't happened yet.
Anyway, master gear is somewhat of an anomaly in that he's a
switch or they they're a switch and like I did a three plus hour
episode with him them about CBT cock and ball torture and cock
cages and all of this stuff and I and that is one of their
absolute favorite things to experience.
I'm like, no, I'm not into any. I will do sounding on others.
I will not participate in it. I've taken classes on it and the
last class that I took on it. Worst presenter, most hateful
person in the community I've ever met, but also one of the
best teachers. Two things can be true at the
same time. One of the greatest teachers
that I've ever seen that I've ever taken class from, and the
way that she taught it made me interested in sounding well.
I've not done it on myself. Not opposed to it, just never
woke up and be like, OK, today's the day.
I'm going to give that a go. I'm talking to master gear about
the the cock cages and I'm like, do you know, I have ordered many
of people to put them on. I've put many on people and it's
one of the few things that and sounding and maybe 2-3 other
things that I've done to others that I've never experienced
myself and I'm very big on. If you're going to do it to
somebody else, you need to know what it feels like.
You need to have it done to you. I'm not saying that everybody
needs to start out as a submissive or as a bottom, but I
am saying that if you're going to take a single tail to
somebody, then the person that you're learning single tail from
should be also showing you what it feels like.
And you should be accepting of that because there's different
techniques. You're like, you know, they can
show you. When I'm teaching somebody, I'm
like, OK, this is this part of the cracker is where you want to
hit somebody with. Normally I have a cracker laying
here on my desk, but this part is going to feel this way when
you hit with this intensity or this intensity, if you want to
do a full drag with with the knot, it's going to leave this
mark and do this. And this is what this feels
like. And you know, these types of
things, floggers, whatever common or uncommon toy that you
happen to use, it's very, very important to me to know what
that's going to feel like. So I was very limited in, and I
am very limited in what I will do to somebody else.
I hate electrical. Oh my God, I that is, that is
absolute freaking torture to me. I had to go for a nerve study
and they they shock you all up and down your arms and then they
insert needles and then they shock through those needles that
are inserted into the muscle right there into the the part of
the hand below the thumb is the absolute most painful thing I
think I've ever experienced next to a pinched nerve in my back
that made me dry heaved for a good 30 minutes.
But I still know what every setting on my violent Wand or my
Doc Johnson shocker, you know, my Taser, I know what they feel
like. My 10s unit, which 10s units,
That's the only kind of electrical play.
But that's a totally different game.
But I'm into that because of my injury.
But yeah, Valent One and stuff and knowing that, OK, if I plug
it into this outlet, it's it very well could have a different
power than what it has plugged into this outlet.
And people don't realize that. And yeah, there was at our local
play space when I was going there, I knew that one outlet
over on one wall set it at 3 is going to be about the same
equivalent as a nine over on the other one.
But the only reason that I knew that is because every time I
plugged it in, turned it to five and tapped it to my skin to see
what it felt like at that particular level.
And then I would run it up and down to like 3:00 and 7:00 to
see where that was at every single time.
Just because I'm neurotic like that.
I think that's a little extreme, but yeah, it's just important to
me to to make sure I want everybody to have the best time.
And if I screw up and do something that makes somebody
say red, that that's that's screwing myself over you.
Know because they screwing them over but you don't get to play
Yeah, screwing. Me over.
That's no, that's no good. No bueno.
No, oh papi, no bueno. Oh goodness, I.
Had When I was about 19, Makita brought a friend home.
She was from northern Mexico and her her thing was for things to
be no good and it was just some some little inside joke that it
started before me and it become part of her erotic experience.
But it I would hear that a lot. Oh Poppy no Plano.
Like damn it don't say it again. Not unless you want this to be
over in like 3 seconds. Oh goodness, that's too funny.
Wow. Oh yeah, it was good times.
Anyway, now I've made my face red.
That's too funny. Well, I think this has been a
great episode. I.
Can't believe it's been an hour already.
It's crazy. It is.
It's so crazy. Such a good time.
I love talking to you, you're an amazing person.
Thank you. Same here.
Thank you.
Same here. Yeah, we'll have to.
We'll have to meet up in Atlanta just on a fun whim and go to a
dungeon and have some fun. Yeah, I talked to my wife about
heading down your way. Oh yeah.
And we are heading out to Arizona, packing up the camper
and heading out there at the end of this month and that's a two
week thing. So unfortunately, we won't be
able to make it down to Florida soon because that's too much
vacation time for. Her.
So unfortunately we are not going to be able to do that
right now, but sometime soon. Absolutely.
Or soon ish. I definitely want to do that.
I think she gets some more vacation time toward the end of
summer or something like that. So yeah, hopefully I can get
down that way. I'm, I'm dying to get back to
the shed in Orlando and just make a, a big trip around and do
several things in that area. Because I, I know a lot of
people down there and a lot of them are pretty pissed at me
that I hadn't been down in about four years, I think four or
five. Years and five.
Years. Yeah.
God, going on six years now. Jesus, it's been too long.
You'll have to check out Sidetracks, they're in New
Smyrna Beach a good friend of mine runs at.
Yeah, you can check them out with an X at the end, that's
how. I wrote it New Smyrna.
Yeah, they're on Fetlife Smyrna. Beach.
Yeah, OK. They've got a cool set up.
They they just had a Dom party Saturday.
Cool people. Nice.
Yeah, very cool. I want to give a shout out to
Clinton SC for kink stock. They do it there.
They have a spring session and a fall session.
So if anybody is around there and they're experienced or
they're completely brand new, let me tell you, it's a great
place to learn. They they bring in educators.
I've taught there a couple times and they make sure that they
rotate educators like it since I taught there in a fall session
and then in spring session, then I have to take time off from
being able to go back and teach there.
But it's a place that like I want to go this fall.
It's a like a four or five day event.
It's phenomenal. The the people there are so
accepting. It's the most, it's the coziest
event that I've ever been to. Oh wow.
And I like out of all my years of doing this, 30 years of doing
this and traveling and teaching, I've traveled all over the US
and taught. That is my spot that I I feel at
home just thinking about the place.
That's awesome, you have to send me a link so I can post it.
Yeah, will do. If anybody is is in that area,
it's a vetted event. So you do need to to work out
being vetted, especially if you're thinking about traveling
to it. But absolutely phenomenal.
There's a there's tents, a tent area.
It's a big camping event and then they're they've got RV and
camper parking too. I think they cap it at like 100
people or something like that. So yeah, phenomenal.
Anyway, I always, I always want to mention them anytime I talk
to somebody because they're just, it's such an amazing
place. That's awesome.
Well, Cauldron, thank you again, and we'll certainly catch up
soon. Absolutely.
Thank you so much. It it feels good to to be back
in this seat behind the microphone and talking to
somebody about the things that just put that shit eating grin
on my face. Hey, it's the place for you.
I'm glad you came to the mic. That's the point.
Yeah, talking about places that I feel home right here, talking
to you, actually. You.
You've given me a new home since I since I gave up my old one.
As temporary as it may be, I'm very grateful.
No, no, it's OK. It's OK because I know people
enjoy this, especially just the, the educational part of it.
You know, people need to hear it and get knowledgeable of it.
You know, it's, it's just an important thing that to talk
about honestly, 'cause I go and talk about kinks all the time,
but we get down a little deeper. It's it's more fun.
Yeah, yeah. And I think that's, you know,
something that people are missing so much and why podcasts
are so great because not everybody can feel safe or feel
comfortable going to a class. But you know, every episode is
some type of class. And you know, that's, that's the
great thing. You're, you're doing the Lord's
work here, Mistress me, the Lord's work.
I puppy. Oh, he's now.
I have a little Mexican enemy, I promise it's.
Been a long time since I've called somebody mistress in a
minute. You keep talking like that and I
might have to say it. Oh goodness, you're too fun.
You're too fun. I love it.
Life's too short. Don't.
Never it really. Hurts like whether whether
you're a dominant, A submissive, a switch, a top bottom, a pony,
a whatever you're. Furry, slut, whore, whatever.
Yeah, whatever your role is, don't take it too serious like
there's. There's.
So much fun that can be had in in every single area.
And I think sometimes, especially on the, the dominant
side, people come in thinking that they have to be so
incredibly stern and, you know, dress the part and, and when
they put their their kid on, it puts them in a certain mindset.
And I get that. But learning the balance between
once that scene starts and developing a routine that gets
you into that mindset of the scene versus the mindset of
being in the play space, whether the play space is your personal
bedroom or a, you know, professional or public dungeon,
whatever. Yeah.
So anyway, sorry this is the third wrap up that we want.
I like to talk. You're OK?
You're OK. Colder and I have a talking
problem. Well, I think we'll just, we'll
hook you up again to the mic when you come back from Arizona,
OK? You know, just have a safe trip
and thank you again. All right.
All righty. Thank you so much.
It has been an absolute pleasure.
Same here. All right, so thank you again.
And until then, this has been the latest episode of Calling
Mistress.