1 00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:09,580 Hi and welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress. 2 00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:14,940 I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and you know my sidekick, Madame 3 00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:16,140 Lev. Me. 4 00:00:16,420 --> 00:00:18,340 Good morning. Good morning. 5 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:19,220 Good. Morning. 6 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:22,380 How are you, lady? I'm I'm doing pretty good, 7 00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:24,620 pretty chip chip Puray, I don't know. 8 00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:26,780 You did. That was fabulous. 9 00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:30,380 That was great. Oh wait, that's Australian. 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,160 Yeah, you go Australian real quick. 11 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,360 That's too funny. My husband, when he starts doing 12 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,280 the British accent, he can't fucking do it. 13 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:45,760 And I'm like, your grandmother is from fucking Manchester, 14 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,920 like. Hello, just copy her. 15 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,520 Wait, does he do it like as like a stemming? 16 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:55,080 Well look, his grandma passed so she's not around anymore, but 17 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,640 she had an adorable little accent and what the fuck is 18 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,600 stemming? Like when you're have ADHD 19 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,599 you'll just be like like just randomly blurred out in a 20 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:09,360 different accent. No, we just randomly do shit 21 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,200 like this and we start talking and I'm like, hey, give me your 22 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,960 best, your breast. I'm going to you. 23 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:23,600 Blah blah blah blah, give me your best British accent and he 24 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,680 cannot do it and I'm like my God. 25 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:27,840 You're I want to hear him do it now. 26 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,520 Oh, it's terrible. I love it. 27 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,920 It's to where to laugh at him. It's almost like Chinese meets 28 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,320 meets American. Like I'm like what the fuck is 29 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,600 that? I can't wait to hear. 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:47,360 That is not British, but I did see a video of, you know, 31 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,040 Princess Diana. God, she was incredible. 32 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,480 And I know this is kind of like before your time, you know, when 33 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,320 she got married in the 80s and every I. 34 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,960 Watched all the documentaries. Did you? 35 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,080 Yeah. See. 36 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:02,520 So, you know, you appreciate it. But I saw in her funeral where 37 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,040 Queen Elizabeth broke protocol and actually bowed to her, you 38 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,400 know, And I was like, oh, that's so sad. 39 00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:10,800 So sad. Seemed to be like she was like 40 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,560 this lovely, beautiful woman and yeah, life to be taken so early. 41 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,040 We're talking about British accents. 42 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,720 And then you showed me that picture. 43 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,000 God. So Liv decides to fuck with my 44 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,600 brain this early in the morning, where's my coffee? 45 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,560 And tells me, oh, doesn't this look like Cookie Monster? 46 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,160 And it's a picture of this woman's crunched up stomach 47 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:37,840 meets her big ass titties and she thinks it's sexy and she's 48 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,800 got like, fucked up areolas. So almost look like the Cookie 49 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,840 Monster with the googly eyes. Not that's yeah, her areola was 50 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,000 like too far over. Way far over. 51 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,960 It was weird, I'm watching a nipple that offset and maybe if 52 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,240 they were both offset it made sense, but they're both in two 53 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,520 different spots on her boobs so it looks like cookie monster. 54 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,560 Like a little crosshair. Well, you know this lovely 55 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,000 woman. You have not met her yet. 56 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,200 OK. She usually comes to all of our 57 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,640 events. Super great lady. 58 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:12,800 She actually had a breast augmentation done from this 59 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,560 local surgeon. Well, she didn't do her research 60 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:21,200 because I he's got lawsuits against him and he fucked up her 61 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,440 titties. Now they're big, they're plump, 62 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:27,520 they're very pretty, but both of her nipples are facing the wrong 63 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,600 direction, like they go outwards instead of forwards. 64 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,800 My mind go outward instead of forwards just naturally and see 65 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,240 my. Brother-in-law, really I OK. 66 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,320 Slightly. I'll show you later. 67 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,720 OK. And so. 68 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,760 Don't give me that face. There's like a little disgusting 69 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,000 flop. No go. 70 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,320 OK me this way it's. OK, you can show me your 71 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,480 titties. I will. 72 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,240 My fucking left titties killing me this morning. 73 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:53,880 Let. Me see it? 74 00:03:53,920 --> 00:04:01,400 I don't know why you're sick. But anyway, so then my 75 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:06,280 brother-in-law, he goes the same fucking surgeon and he, they 76 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,200 fucked up his nose bad. Yeah. 77 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,160 And I was like, you guys need to get your shit checked. 78 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,800 Like you need to do some Google searches and they didn't do 79 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,720 fucking Google searches on this fucker. 80 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,480 But that's scary, Yeah. Those are two very important 81 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:27,960 parts of your body. So Liv and I, we were talking 82 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,200 just a few moments ago and we were saying that she was always 83 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,880 naked as a kid. Yeah, it was. 84 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,040 Well, I was too. He was. 85 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,640 You're welcome. I think we are. 86 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,080 We are a lot more like. We are a lot like we really are, 87 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:47,200 but I I started putting clothes on by the time I was 6. 88 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:52,320 Oh, I was like 16, yeah. No, no, because I had. 89 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,520 I was in my room, I never was outside of my room. 90 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,800 Like people knew that I was naked so knock on the door and 91 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,360 not cover up or my sister would just barge in and she wouldn't 92 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,320 give 2 fucks. She was like, all right, there's 93 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,400 naked on her chair. Gotcha. 94 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:07,120 Well I always slept naked so you know people would know that 95 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,520 about me too. Did you sleep naked too? 96 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,280 No. I. 97 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:19,560 Was like, I'm still not over the Austin Powers. 98 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,960 I fucking love Austin Powers, but I love it when he goes. 99 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:29,240 Gives me the ebb jeebies. He really gave Mike Myers. 100 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,160 I think he's so fun. He's fine. 101 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,320 For sure, but he still gives me the ebb jeebies. 102 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,520 Ohh well he I think his character is supposed to give 103 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,560 you perv vibes because he's a fucking perv in it. 104 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,360 That's what he's supposed to be. Yeah, well, it gave me. 105 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,440 It was right on cue, baby. But you know, for years I did 106 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:53,240 not know that, that the actual scene where he has the Japanese 107 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:58,840 twins come up to him and he said he's like, Oh my God, twins, 108 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,960 twins. Basil, you know, and she's like, 109 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:09,280 my name is Fuk Yul. Her name is Fuk Me. 110 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,520 Yeah, you didn't notice that Well. 111 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,880 No, what? I didn't notice was that's 112 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:18,400 Carrie Anne Arbar from Dancing With the Stars judge. 113 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:19,720 Really. Yes. 114 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,200 Wow, that was her. And I was like fuck Carrie Anne 115 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,560 you big slut. That was great. 116 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,080 She just, she did so great in that little acting scene. 117 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,920 She should have done more. Yeah, she was always beautiful, 118 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:38,080 honestly. But anywho, let's see, we're 119 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,200 being talked today. I was, oh, I was thinking about 120 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,800 sex in general. We haven't you just all live 121 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:51,200 space. Well, I mean, I'm thinking, you 122 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,680 know, we're we both always like, you know, walked around naked 123 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,800 and, you know, just being so casual. 124 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,880 And I think that, you know, people put, you know, things in 125 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,880 a sexual nature and sometimes they shouldn't. 126 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,120 But then I was my brain was going over to that cookie 127 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,840 monster titty picture you sent me and then I was like, you 128 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,000 know, I don't I'm not king shaming but people post pictures 129 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,640 on fat that aren't flattering and I'm like you and I take 130 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:25,440 multiple pictures of like one shot of 1 scene just to try to 131 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,200 get it. Right. 132 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,120 Yeah, at least one picture out of 50 would turn out right. 133 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:34,960 Yeah, and you know, but damn, some people just don't care when 134 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,600 they post these pictures or they think they look really good and 135 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,320 they don't. Yeah, I know. 136 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,840 Or then is it just me being a superficial bitch and be like. 137 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,040 Well, OK, so how I think about it is if they're feeling 138 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,640 beautiful and it's their body, they can't really change certain 139 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,000 things about their body. And if they're feeling 140 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,320 beautiful, let them feel beautiful. 141 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,280 But I do not feel like Fetlife is for like, nudity, like where 142 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,600 you're supposed to be for fetishes, not hey, let's fuck 143 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,920 each other, you know, just get naked and. 144 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,400 Well, you know a lot of them, they gear towards sex when they 145 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,200 think BDSM. Well, I do think it's a very 146 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,560 sexual game. Yeah, and I think that a lot of 147 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,400 the guys on there, they want to show their Dicks. 148 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,440 So it's still a sexual connotation, the women, you 149 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,080 know? Yeah, we. 150 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,360 Don't really need to see it though. 151 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,840 We don't need to see Dicks. Bite your tongue. 152 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,600 I like to see Dick pictures. I just like to see classy. 153 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,320 Dick pictures, classy Dick pictures, or even the ones where 154 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:36,159 they're like caged up. Or have like really hard CBT? 155 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:37,880 Yes. I really like seeing. 156 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:38,960 Those. Yeah. 157 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,480 Yeah. But you're like, kinky. 158 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,520 It's still. But you know, so much of the 159 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:47,160 BDSM that you do in the bedroom, I mean, it correlates back to 160 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,440 sex. I mean, yeah, I guess you're 161 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:52,400 right. You're just like I want to see 162 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:59,160 more BDFM not facts. Well, you know, I do like seeing 163 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,200 it. I just wish that it was, you 164 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,600 know, more more related to BDSM. Like I like the role play and I 165 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,320 like not that I don't like seeing naked women. 166 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,720 Yes, I'll be all about it. And I do like seeing dates. 167 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:13,080 I'm just saying like, I don't know, I just I'd like to see 168 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,840 more BDSM. Maybe I just didn't like 169 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,480 people's start following different people or something. 170 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,800 You want a little one-on-one class with Punky I? 171 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,840 Don't know who that is. Is that your cat? 172 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,160 No, you would have met her at the party. 173 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:35,880 Oh, wait. She is the big sexy blonde and 174 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,800 she was doing a rope scene in the dungeon at one point, did 175 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,160 you not? I was not in there. 176 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,840 You were not in there. I saw people in the rope play, 177 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,880 but it was so. Crowded. 178 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,800 It was jammed. And like they, she really had an 179 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,400 audience. And I was like, well, you know, 180 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,000 OK, I just kept walking. I wasn't able to get, I wasn't 181 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,200 able to squeeze in there. I mean, even people were in the 182 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,200 mud room like. We got to get her to rope class 183 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,640 because. Like give her more room. 100. 184 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,600 Percent, she's gonna have more audience to be able to see 185 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,400 because I mean, yeah, short people in the back, people can't 186 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,200 see. 100% well, we'll have to do that. 187 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,520 She's. This class is on loud how you 188 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,480 tie and yes, I didn't be a great thing and her name. 189 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,320 'S who? Punky blonde punky. 190 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,360 Blonde, yes. She's an amazing cat. 191 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,880 Tiger Lily. Oh really? 192 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,040 Yeah. That is not my cat. 193 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,200 That is my mother's. I do not claim that little 194 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,400 fucker. OK, so my thought is punky. 195 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,800 For some reason, no, my husband yesterday went out and he was 196 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,880 getting the mail, taking the trash cans and putting them to 197 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:38,960 the curb. Right. 198 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,480 Well, he sees his poor little squirrel and we get big 199 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,680 squirrels too. You know, a lot of the neighbors 200 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,600 feed the squirrels and we're getting ready to put another 201 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,120 feeder outside. But pretty. 202 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,200 Little squirrel, he was so adorable. 203 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,480 And so he's laying there and, you know, my husband went up to 204 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:05,400 make sure that he was OK. And so he he picked the squirrel 205 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,680 up because my little Twila went up to smell the squirrel. 206 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:13,280 And so he picked the squirrel up and he put it up over on this 207 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,760 this ledge and he was looking at the squirrel and he's like, oh, 208 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:22,040 you know, I think he's dead. And he knew then it had to be my 209 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:27,440 mother's cat. And that little fucker, he snuck 210 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,200 back around. He's like, oh, my God, where's 211 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,400 my meat? Where's my kill, you know? 212 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,840 And he's like, oh, you know, he's like dodging things. 213 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,400 He's looking around. He's like, where the fuck did he 214 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,320 go? And finally he sees where my 215 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,920 husband put it. And he jumped up on there and he 216 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,880 got it. And he put it in his mouth. 217 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,440 And I'm like, oh, you little fuck. 218 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,960 And then, of course, my husband took pictures of it. 219 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,160 I was like, God, he's like, yeah, I'm going to show your 220 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,760 mother what a terrible cat you have. 221 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,600 Terrible cat she has. Not me. 222 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,200 Terrible cat she has. Poor Kitty, this is just being a 223 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,360 cat. I know, but still you know. 224 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,680 You're thinking of like, like a movie, like a cartoon movie 225 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,920 where the cat's always chasing the mouse or the mouse is the 226 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,320 good guy. Oh yeah. 227 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,680 Sometimes the cat could be the good guy and he's just chasing 228 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,760 the mouse because that's what God made her to do. 229 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,160 Look, I don't like mice. I really don't. 230 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:23,360 I don't like brodens in general, but I don't want to see that. 231 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:28,920 And my thing of it is there's plenty of rats in the woods. 232 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,520 It's like, go kill a rat that's still. 233 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,000 Rats or mice? Yeah, they're disgusting. 234 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,560 Don't kill a sweet, beautiful squirrel. 235 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,840 They have a nice fluffy tail. It's a tree rat. 236 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:46,760 They're so sweet though, yeah. Sometimes you know they're 237 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,120 making nests in the wrong spots, or they're. 238 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,040 Good. You know, they eat the acorns so 239 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,120 we don't have to pick them up and they're cool. 240 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,640 I love squirrels. OK. 241 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:59,120 I I just fucking don't like rats. 242 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,000 They're disgusting. They're just a. 243 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,720 Different kind of rat. They are. 244 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,320 They're disgusting, but. OK. 245 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:15,200 Anyway, so remind me I have to tell you a story about this 246 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:21,120 after but anywho. But sexual aspects of you know 247 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:26,760 BDSM and then we correlate it back to fetlife and and sex in 248 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,200 general. So do you want to talk about a 249 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,680 sexy story? Like what? 250 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,920 Of sex. Like like my scenes? 251 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,720 Yeah, but you and your real life. 252 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,560 I think all my scenes are slightly about me. 253 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,200 All right, well, how about this? How about this? 254 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,160 Because I, I was reading this article the other day and it was 255 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,440 basically about how you connect with a new partner. 256 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,720 Now again, we don't have to talk about my nephew. 257 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,160 By all means, you can. You can. 258 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,560 That's why you switched up real quick. 259 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,120 I did. I have very clear on this. 260 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,400 But I'm thinking about when you meet somebody, say it's a one 261 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,960 night stand, right, you don't know it's going to be good. 262 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,880 No. So my thing of it is there's 263 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,080 certain things that guys should do. 264 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:15,960 They don't necessarily know to do these things, and considering 265 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,480 that 70% of our listeners are men, they really need to know, 266 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,760 hey, this is what you should do, yes. 267 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,600 Vacation, yes, and then if they just know the right ways to 268 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,800 touch a woman, even if you don't have good Dick, that person will 269 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,520 remember you, yes, you know, just touched. 270 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,520 Exactly what have been some of your experiences? 271 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,240 Has there been like some fails, like oh God I'll never fuck him 272 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,280 again? Oh yeah, all the time. 273 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,120 Men think they got it and then their shit don't stink or 274 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,680 they're like, well, I'm never going to see you again, so I'm 275 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,520 just going to get mine and not worry about anything. 276 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,760 So it's just like, you know, just kind of gross. 277 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,120 Did they tell you the story about, you know, when I'm 278 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,720 touching this, I know the microphone's picking this up. 279 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,520 I'm like thinking about Dick and feet and I'm rubbing my fucking. 280 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,360 Big ass coffee cup. Yeah, OK. 281 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,360 So. That was the noise you made. 282 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:20,160 I'm thinking of a big cock like. That's not what they sound like. 283 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,880 Maybe if you like blow on the tip, you know when you like, you 284 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:30,400 blow on a bottle. You know, like, like maybe and 285 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,480 we'll try that later. Do I speak whales? 286 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,480 I. Mean they come out like shoots 287 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,360 up like a whale. Yes, spark or blowhole. 288 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,280 God, there's so many topics we can go from here. 289 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,400 We lately been talking about nothing and everything at the 290 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,040 same time. Fuck. 291 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:53,680 OK, All right, so we're talking about sexual experiences, but I 292 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,520 will tell you you brought up feet. 293 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,200 OK, while you're thinking of your story, I'll tell you one of 294 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,080 my stories. OK, so I went to meet a foot 295 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,760 guy. I went somewhere to meet him and 296 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:10,240 he reserved a room at a hotel. OK, so it was by a casino. 297 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,280 So I told my mother. Did I tell you the story before 298 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,440 I. Don't know, probably. 299 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,400 But I told my mother and my sister-in-law, who will be your 300 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,200 potential mother-in-law one day. God, I'm so sorry. 301 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,640 I told them. I said, hey, look, I'll drop you 302 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,480 both off at the casino. I'm going to go over here and 303 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,120 I'm going to meet this foot fetishist. 304 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,760 I drop them off and I bring a big bag of shoes, different 305 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,120 shoes that he can, you know, feel and do whatever else he 306 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,360 does. In this session. 307 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,800 I had this one pair of shoes. I, I've had them for years. 308 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,760 I love them. They're like they're goldish, 309 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,440 copperish color. They're sequin, they're pretty 310 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,440 and they're kind of open toed and they kind of open on the 311 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,760 sides and that kind of thing. So I do the session and during 312 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,840 the session he likes to take his Dick and rub it in the sole of 313 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,680 my shoes. Now mind you he's got baby oil. 314 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,079 I have baby oil all over my feet. 315 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,119 He has baby oil all over his Dick. 316 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:13,599 And then therefore my shoes are covered in baby oil on the 317 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:17,839 inside. Now I wear a size 9. 318 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:24,400 OK, my sister-in-law is a 7 1/2. She thought as she sits in the 319 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,760 back seat that she was just going to be nosy because she's 320 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:32,600 very nosy since she goes through my duffel bag with all my shoes. 321 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,800 And she's like why are you bringing all these shoes? 322 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,800 And she says you know, I love shoes. 323 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,120 Well of course she starts trying them on. 324 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,560 Well the first pair I didn't even use for the session. 325 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,960 She tried those on no issue. Second pair she tries on and 326 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,760 she's like oh baby. Well she said why are they so 327 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,400 oily? I said, well, you just found a 328 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:55,200 pair of shoes that he put his penis in and she's like, oh God. 329 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,880 You know, I mean, it's kind of her fault. 330 00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,520 You can't be going through stuff like that. 331 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,120 Yeah, so I'm like, why the fuck are you going through my shoes? 332 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,960 In this bag, I think that's completely rude. 333 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,920 Well, she was my babysitter when I was four years old. 334 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,840 If my mom goes through my bag, yeah, it is rude, yes. 335 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,080 You have to at least ask, hey, is it alright if I go through 336 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,000 this bag, you know, is there anything that's going to be? 337 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,320 Uncomfortable. I'm telling you your soon to be 338 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,400 mother-in-law has zero fucking boundaries. 339 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,360 So. Sorry. 340 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,280 Well, I'll say something. Yeah, so that's the kind of shit 341 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:29,840 she would do. And then she, yeah, she went 342 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,280 through them. And I'm like, well, you just 343 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,800 had, you know, some Dick juice on your feet, but good for you. 344 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,400 Consequences. Isn't that funny? 345 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,640 But you know the funnier part? She was so grossed out by it 346 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,760 that a few years later she ended up coming to the dungeon and 347 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,880 seeing the same guy in the dungeon with oil on her feet. 348 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:54,240 Yeah. Turn of events, Yeah, girl. 349 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,280 Oh, that's funny. Isn't that funny shit? 350 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,080 OK, I didn't have a story when I brought up feet. 351 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,600 No, not feet, but like one night stand. 352 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,880 Oh yeah. What was your one night stand 353 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,480 story? Like a like a good one. 354 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,840 Good or bad? I feel like most of them are bad 355 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,560 because if they were good I'd keep them around. 356 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,760 Well, my thing of it is so men can learn what they should do 357 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,200 and what they should not do. We'll never. 358 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,440 Ask, hey, does that feel good? That's so annoying that sit 359 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,840 there and say no or yes or maybe just lie to not hurt your ego. 360 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,480 Like I'm definitely not going to see you again, especially if I'm 361 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,760 having to say no, but I'm not going to tell you no because 362 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:30,800 that's going to hurt your feelings. 363 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,440 You don't want to hear that, okay? 364 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,720 Because then you work. It's not hard enough. 365 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,920 It'll break you a little bit. So don't ask that question. 366 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,160 So do you ever give them instructions on what to do? 367 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,600 Well, usually I don't let them do anything if they're the first 368 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,720 time I'm doing it. I don't let them do anything 369 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,400 that they feel like they have to learn how to do. 370 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,080 Like if you're eating me out, you got to have some time there 371 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,040 and I'm I'm using you once. I'm not doing it. 372 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,480 Unless you got like a really good kiss here and you're like, 373 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,400 maybe they'd be good at it and just kind of let them do it. 374 00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:01,240 So First off, Liv is sitting on the couch with her legs spread. 375 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,320 But she's covered up with a blanket. 376 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,800 But she's facing me like, yeah, they're going to spend some time 377 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,280 down there. They're like my Kitty cat much 378 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,080 on a girl. Chew on my bubble gum. 379 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:23,680 OK, so so is it safe to say you're a little submissive and 380 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,640 bad? For sure. 381 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,960 For sure. So roles are reversed. 382 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,360 You're you're submissive in bed. You're, you're telling him, do 383 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,080 you give him instructions on what to do when it comes to 384 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,840 like, oral pleasure? Well, if I know him, you know, 385 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,520 you know, when you're submissive, you don't want to 386 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,000 hurt their feelings you, but you want to, you want to have 387 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,400 communication because you want to feel good eventually, you 388 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,080 know what I mean? And then if I keep somebody 389 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,880 around, if I know this one's like, hey, this one's got a 390 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,800 little bit of potential, I'll keep him around and then maybe 391 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,760 I'll end up liking him. Or maybe you just wear just sex. 392 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,480 Yeah. But yeah, then I start giving 393 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,680 like, oh, do it right there. I'll like, move his head to 394 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,880 where? It's supposed to be OK. 395 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,760 All right, I get it. And I was gonna say you said 396 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,160 something like you really don't even like your ass licked. 397 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,960 I don't like anal my my butt hole licked. 398 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,640 It doesn't have any like nerves like that for some reason. 399 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,640 Gotcha. I like the perineum or the tank 400 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:18,840 or whatever you want to fucking call. 401 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,880 I think it's a gross word, but. Perineum is better than tank. 402 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,240 Yeah, Tank. Sounds so gross even for a guy. 403 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,480 Disgusting. But the little piece of skin in 404 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,040 between both of them, I think it's like just close enough 405 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,280 where it feels like when you're going to The Dirty spot, but it 406 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,720 still feels good because it's got a bunch of nerves there. 407 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,480 Yeah, All right. So aside from licking your 408 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:43,920 taint, I said it just for you. Tainty. 409 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,920 The tainty dainty, tainty, tainty. 410 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:47,720 Tainty. Tainty. 411 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,520 Oh my God, that's cute. You like that? 412 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,720 Dainty, tainty. Yeah, I like that. 413 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,520 And now I'll lick somebody else's ass. 414 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,480 Not a new person, yeah, but like if I'm close enough with them. 415 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,880 Yeah. Definitely. 416 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,800 I've like three guys, assholes in my life. 417 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:06,040 OK, right on. I. 418 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,760 Don't know, it's just nice to please them in a different way. 419 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,560 I think so too. I think so too, and especially 420 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,720 when you're giving them a nice little hand job. 421 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,160 I was getting a blowjob, getting all that. 422 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,800 Shit in the wet. Damn. 423 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,760 Yeah. I'm pretty ruthless, right? 424 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,160 I might seem innocent, but there is no innocents here. 425 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,000 It wouldn't work in my relationship if there was. 426 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,320 Good to know, all right. The face. 427 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,880 You know, if that's how you can win somebody over, honestly, 428 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,560 when you're inside and, you know, because I think everybody 429 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,120 has some type of, you know, sexual talent. 430 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,920 Oh yeah. Like somebody be like, like, I 431 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,600 have this one friend. Yeah, the girl I used to be 432 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,560 sleeping with. Yeah. 433 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,920 She can ride backwards on a Dick like nobody business for as long 434 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,840 as you can go. And I'm like, I can't do that 435 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,120 once. Like I can't do it the way she 436 00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:58,760 does it at all, not even a little bit. 437 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,920 I don't have that talent at all. But I give blowjobs like 438 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,000 nobody's business. I'm with you. 439 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,280 She can't do that, but she can do she can do some things and I 440 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,800 can do some things. So if you put us both together, 441 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,800 we're like the perfect. Woman, I bet right on. 442 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,400 That's why it's good to have varieties, because there's some 443 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,120 things I can't do. Yeah, I understand that. 444 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:24,080 I understand. Like the gripper, I can grip a 445 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,240 little bit, but not like that. That was something else. 446 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:36,920 Forever the Griswold gripper. You know what I'm sensing we 447 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,560 need to have AT shirt made for her? 448 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,840 Oh my God she would like this. She's so cute. 449 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,680 Fucking love that the Griswold gripper and nobody will know. 450 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,600 Nobody would know. Yes. 451 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,440 And she would be able to just, you know, proudly wear that 452 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,360 shit. Yes. 453 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:56,800 She would love it, yes. OK, Yeah, that's what we'll. 454 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:57,720 Do. We'll do that for. 455 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,240 Her, Absolutely. Griswold Gripper. 456 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,640 We got to think of a cute little like. 457 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,120 Name for him now? Yeah. 458 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,960 Wait, who's the name for who? For her husband. 459 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,480 I thought he was Griswold. Well, he's Griswold, but he's 460 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,080 not a gripper. I've never met him. 461 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,040 Yeah, you did. We don't like conceptual immuno. 462 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,000 Oh yeah, yeah. Well, there. 463 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,000 You go. I mean, there's got you've. 464 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,440 Met him as a person but not as a sexual abject in bed. 465 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,280 Yeah, I don't think I ever will though. 466 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,680 No. Well, no, because your boyfriend 467 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,840 doesn't want you. I'm saying I've been around 468 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,040 another guy naked and yeah, like sexually meeting them. 469 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,360 But like, I'm not saying like I have to like fuck them. 470 00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:35,120 The No, that's true. I didn't. 471 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,880 You can't really fuck a woman. But I can stick my finger in 472 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,360 there and I'm like, God damn, You think he's got a tight 473 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,760 asshole? He could be a gripper, too. 474 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,680 I don't know about that. He's my dear friends. 475 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,600 We don't discuss things like that about nothing. 476 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,360 He has a special name for me. Uh huh. 477 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:58,640 So yeah. Oh, you're talking about like 478 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,920 that. Yeah, we're very good friends. 479 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,840 We're not sexual friends, but we're very good. 480 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,000 No, I. Meant like the name that you 481 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,200 were saying that you wanted to give them. 482 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,560 It could have been not sexual. You didn't give me no context on 483 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,320 that, so I was. Going on sex. 484 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,720 This conversation was supposed to be all about. 485 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,760 Sex it was. I don't know where we're on 486 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,400 anymore. This is how we talk in real. 487 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,560 Life, this is so. It's all over the place. 488 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,000 This is our conversations all the time. 489 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,360 We have a little bit of structure when we're on the air. 490 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:29,800 See, this is the thing when we do the video podcast, we really 491 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,320 have to stay on topic. I know this is so hard. 492 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,320 Yeah, you know? And it's OK because people kind 493 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,440 of know that we kind of go fucking everywhere. 494 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,880 But maybe they like that quality about us, I mean. 495 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,240 That's, I mean, that's what we do. 496 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,120 So I mean, and they like our podcast. 497 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:46,920 Maybe we can get some comments on that. 498 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,480 Tell us what you think there. You go, there you go. 499 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,480 I mean, we always get positive feedback. 500 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,480 We really do now. I've had people at the very 501 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,200 beginning, beginning years ago when I first started, I would 502 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,360 laugh so fucking much at my old friend. 503 00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:07,360 And so I had to stop that. It's just like, it's really hard 504 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:11,000 to not laugh at things. People were just like, there was 505 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,480 one person, I, they wrote me a review and it's like, oh, that 506 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,720 hideous laughing. And I think it was somebody who 507 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,160 I know who fucking hates me. Oh, I was like, that's what 508 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,000 that's mean. I know. 509 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,760 Well, yeah, because I was like, you know, everyone else that 510 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,200 I've met, they're just like, oh, I love your laugh, but I'm like, 511 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,120 you can laugh too much sometimes. 512 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:30,080 Though Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's like repetitive and 513 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,600 like kind of like obnoxious. Yeah, no one wants to hear that 514 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,040 all the time. And I get it. 515 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,280 We're laughing all the time. We do, but sometimes I have to 516 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,840 take out some of my laughter because it's a lot. 517 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:45,640 Yes, it's a lot. See, I'm doing it again. 518 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,000 Giggle. You have a cute little giggle. 519 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,160 Thank you. I think you're partial though. 520 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,280 Let's get back to tainty. OK, Dainty, tainty, dainty, 521 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,400 tainty. OK. 522 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,920 So yeah, I wouldn't say necessarily I gosh. 523 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,440 You don't like any part of yourself like down there. 524 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,320 Oh yeah, no, I'm good with oral, trust me. 525 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,440 I'm saying like on your butt. Oh yeah. 526 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,160 You like that? Oh yeah, I do. 527 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,560 I like that. But now, you know, I'm married 528 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,000 to somebody who is. He was total. 529 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,400 It's like this total neat freak. Anti ass eater. 530 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,800 Well, yeah, he's not a particular person that he would 531 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,840 like to do that. You know, I think when I make 532 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,000 him do it, I would be like, he was in bondage and I'm just like 533 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,800 sitting on his face to torture him. 534 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,720 So that's OK. But you know, I also told a 535 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:43,760 certain person that if he quit smoking all together, I. 536 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:44,920 Know who that person is? You know who? 537 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,160 That person is that he could lick my ass. 538 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,440 So you know I'm all about sticking to my word. 539 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,240 Now, he hasn't said anything more about it, but, you know, 540 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,920 I'm open to it. But it's just, you know, it's 541 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,200 one of those things where it's like, it's really intimate. 542 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,840 So it's like, I think I might have to wear, you know, panties 543 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,280 and. That doesn't make it fun. 544 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,760 Well, it can make it fun. Why don't? 545 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,760 You do like edible panties. Oh my God, What? 546 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,160 You're so gross. That's a. 547 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:21,200 Good idea Or like damn a fruit roll up or something you know 548 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:26,360 what I'm saying? I don't want to eat no cotton 549 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,560 ass. I want to feel the skin and it 550 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,520 pulsating in my mouth. You are hardcore. 551 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,440 I'm not letting them go down in my vagina. 552 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,680 That's not, I didn't say vagina. I'm just clarifying on this. 553 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,040 You know a butt pulses too whenever you get going. 554 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:46,080 I'm, I'm aware, I'm aware. No. 555 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,520 So back to oral sex. So anyway, I used to go, God, 556 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,760 this door is wide open. It's like, God, I hope my 557 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:57,360 mother's completely deaf. But anyway, there used to be 558 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:02,560 this really cute guy. My friend Crystal would always 559 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,800 say, oh, caramel. Oh yeah, he was a caramel God, 560 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,560 he was hot. Anywho, he was a. 561 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,880 Caramel. That sounded racist. 562 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,560 He was a caramel. Like what? 563 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,720 No, he was a black man, obviously, but he he just had a 564 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:23,080 really pretty hue to his skin color and it was like caramel. 565 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,520 So I would call my little caramel lover. 566 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:30,240 And so he was really fantastic in bed. 567 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:35,000 He really was. He was gentle and just sexy. 568 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:41,240 But let me tell you, the oral capabilities of this man I've 569 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,400 still never had yet to this day. Yeah, I feel like that's going 570 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,200 to be my ex-husband. He was good at doing that. 571 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,760 Oh yeah, 'cause. You know, he would come so fast 572 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,360 that he kind of had to do it. So he was always on it so and he 573 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,400 had to work on it. OK. 574 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,880 And we were. Together for 13 years. 575 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,840 See, now I hit the microphone. God it. 576 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,280 Was just chaos today. Total chaos. 577 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:11,600 I got dogs over here, dogs over there, my mom downstairs. 578 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,440 But yeah, so I mean, I think though when the longer you're 579 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,520 with somebody, the better they're going to get it stuff. 580 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,320 If they're willing to learn, you know, they think they're just 581 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,840 good at it. They're just going to keep going 582 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:24,920 the way they think they're going. 583 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,720 Yeah, Instead of listening to you. 584 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:32,080 See, the only thing about like someone like, well, like with 585 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,400 your ex-husband, he was a virgin when you met him and he's only 586 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,960 been with you. Yeah, so he learned that shit. 587 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,080 So he, yeah. So you have to really learn 588 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:44,200 that. See, with, with my husband, it's 589 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,280 more or less like, hey, we're going to do bondage and you're 590 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,360 going to be forced to do this because I think he likes the 591 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,400 aspect of being forced, you know? 592 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,120 But other times it's nice to be like, hey, get over here, do 593 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,800 this, you know, but everyone's different. 594 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:05,640 Everyone is different. But I will say that my caramel 595 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,720 lover from years ago was absolutely incredible and bad. 596 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,760 Just just saying. So I think certain people stick 597 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,040 out, you know, And he wasn't one of those guys that had him like 598 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,760 a massive Dick. Because I told you I'm not all 599 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,760 about that massive Dick. I don't think it's about the 600 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,800 Dick, it's about the head it. Is it is. 601 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,160 You know the the G spot's only like 2 inches in there? 602 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,680 Yeah, all you need is 2 inches. You need a good. 603 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,760 Head. No kidding. 604 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,920 No, I mean I want to live. In one or two inches. 605 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,360 But you know, we do like a little. 606 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,280 More I do like, I mean a finger I can get out of the finger for 607 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,480 the rest of my life if I had a really good finger in there. 608 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,720 I still need showing you the picture of the guy that has had 609 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:51,440 the 26 inch cock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 610 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,040 I forgot. I did not know. 611 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,960 Yeah, see, I've told this story to people before, but he was the 612 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:02,360 one when I first met him, we had talked and when we were talking 613 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,680 at some point in time, he ended up having to go into the 614 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:10,840 hospital because the pressure with the constant blood flow 615 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,800 going to his stick, it affected his heart. 616 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,800 He couldn't get like a reduction. 617 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,840 Well, he had to go get a reduction, but they only do 618 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,400 those types of reductions at the time in California. 619 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,640 They couldn't, they couldn't do them here. 620 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:29,800 So he went before he went and got this reduction. 621 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,320 You know, he was in the hospital. 622 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,240 They said, OK, we've got to schedule the reduction, blah, 623 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,480 blah, blah. But for now, you have to live 624 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,760 with it for the next, you know, couple of months. 625 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,560 And he couldn't break away because he was taking care of 626 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:44,400 his elderly parents, so he couldn't leave the house 627 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,520 normally unless he had a plan setter. 628 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,880 So I'm like, you know what, I'm going to come and meet you. 629 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:53,080 You seem like a nice guy. I knew him through a friend. 630 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:58,280 And of course, when I met him, he came out in his garage and I 631 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:03,480 was like, you know, he's wearing long shorts, but he had to make 632 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:10,600 sure they were extra long, you know, And my God, that glory 633 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:14,320 when he like pulled his pants a little bit down and then just 634 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,000 kind of pulled out that fucking bat out of his pants. 635 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:25,000 I was like. What that's that's too much? 636 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,160 I wouldn't know what to do with it. 637 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,280 I mean, there was no way you really can have sex comfortably 638 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:30,560 with it. Serious. 639 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,040 No, no way. You know, I mean you can. 640 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,480 Get like the head in and that'll be it. 641 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,920 You could get more than the head. 642 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,760 So it was thin. No, it wasn't thin. 643 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,320 It wasn't a fucking coke can though either. 644 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,520 OK, so it's like a just a earthier Dick normal and then 645 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,200 just really fucking long. It was thick. 646 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,600 It was like the mini cans, put it that way. 647 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:56,280 I could do that. It's still pretty big, but yeah, 648 00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:00,120 at the time I was like, I just want to, you know, suck his 649 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,400 Dick. And you know, he didn't even 650 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,680 have. Balls like a tree. 651 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,680 Exactly. He didn't even have massive 652 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,040 balls either. So anywho, just picking it up 653 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:18,520 was like like I was a flautist in in grade school. 654 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,159 So I was like, I can't hold it sideways like a flute, but I 655 00:34:22,159 --> 00:34:24,480 sure can't play the fucking clarinet right here. 656 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,280 That's cool, I would have liked to do it just to say that I did 657 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,239 it, but I feel bad for him for like long term relationships. 658 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,280 Yeah, well, and this guy was amazing. 659 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,520 He went and he took care of his dying girlfriend. 660 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,040 She was dying of cancer, took care of her, took care of his 661 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,159 elderly parents. One had Alzheimer's. 662 00:34:47,159 --> 00:34:51,679 I mean like he did nothing but give give give. 663 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,440 And God definitely gave him back they. 664 00:34:54,639 --> 00:34:57,960 Sure did. Well he has this disorder that 665 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:04,320 even after he had the reduction it still grows so it doesn't 666 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,840 even matter. So the blood just still fills it 667 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:07,880 up. Yes. 668 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,600 Even after reduction. That's wild. 669 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,800 Well, and it's going to continue to grow, period. 670 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,320 That's the issue. And it is a condition, I forget 671 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,680 what it's called, but there is a condition with that. 672 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:25,480 So, you know, this has been, you know, 11-12 years ago, one of 673 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,040 them snoring. I know you can hear it. 674 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,040 Yeah, it's been like 11-12 years. 675 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,480 And that's Twila over there snoring behind you. 676 00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:36,320 And that's sweet. But. 677 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:41,440 But anyway, I can now imagine that it's grown even more 678 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,640 because they cut it down to 9 inches. 679 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,840 That's doable 9 inches for some people. 680 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,760 At least somebody can handle. Yeah, that's great. 681 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,640 Yeah, it's just fabulous. So now I don't. 682 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,960 Know still pretty big. I would like maybe like a 8, 683 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:59,760 seven and a half. Yeah, I think he's just cool to 684 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,000 look at. I mean, yeah, but not for a long 685 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,520 term relationship. I'm not. 686 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,800 It's hard to take. I told you about that one guy 687 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,600 and he was cordless phone guy and ginormous. 688 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:15,880 I mean, we couldn't even connect having sex, you know, because he 689 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,120 had to go for so far back, you know? 690 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:20,440 Yeah. Crazy. 691 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,960 I know all these men. You know all men want a big 692 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,200 Dick. You know they want it. 693 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,800 But even when they have it, they they still complain about it. 694 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,720 They still complain. It doesn't matter. 695 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,520 They just want bigger, bigger, bigger. 696 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,680 Yeah, and. Then when they're too big, you 697 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,040 talk to somebody as too big of a Dick and they're like, I just 698 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,720 wish it was normal. Yeah. 699 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,040 Just so I can please my woman. That's all it's about. 700 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,000 It's just pleasing your woman. You think that a bigger one's 701 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:44,960 going to please her? No. 702 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,240 It's about how you work it. Exactly, exactly. 703 00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:53,560 All right, I think we've bored them enough with our handshakes. 704 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,560 This one's been quite interesting. 705 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,040 Oh, my God, it's been interesting. 706 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,640 We're going to edit some of this shit anyway. 707 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,320 Until then, you know what? The sirloin. 708 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,880 You always look at me like, Oh, oh, you're in the headlights. 709 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,760 Oh, is it then? Oh, do I need to say something? 710 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,360 I love it. Sorry. 711 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:17,880 I'll redo that. All right, Liv, it's been fun. 712 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,480 So you want to tell everyone goodbye? 713 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:25,000 Goodbye. It's the latest episode of. 714 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,320 Call me Mistress.